


From the day that I met you

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, college student!niall, famous!Liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:55:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 272,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4972489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Partying and having a good time are probably two of Niall's favorite things, he just wouldn't have thought that a night out would end with him getting to know Liam, or that their paths would cross a lot more often than just this once. But somehow they happen to be more helpful to one another than expected.</p><p>(Or where Niall is a pretty normal college student and he has no idea that the guy he spilled his drink over is a famous popstar)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo, im back :) (with no more time than before but you know, im pretending i have all the time in the world)  
> hope youre all gonna enjoy the first chapter, some more info at the end!

"… so, what do you say?" It was probably the fifth time Harry had asked this question within the last two minutes, still not getting anything out of Niall that was more than a careless grunt. "Nialler, stop eating that crap and listen."

"'s not crap, it's very nurturing chips, Harry, not everyone is on a no carb diet or whatever you've come up with now." Or a juice cleanse, Niall wasn't quite sure and also didn't really care, his feet were propped up on his stained coffee table, trying to concentrate on the game that was on the telly, his best friend's blabbering mouth not quite welcome right now. "Now can you just… Holy shit! He just missed-"

"Niall, it's VIP passes!" Harry interrupted Niall's short anger over the match, suddenly having whipped out something to wave in front of the blonde's face, not caring as Niall tried to push his hand away, somehow attempting to see past whatever the other boy was trying to shove into his face. "For the new bar, you know? The one I told you about? You know the- … can you listen for just a second and turn that shit down? It's not like they'll make a goal anyways, everyone knows they suck."

That had either been on purpose so the boy would listen or Harry seriously didn't care as Niall threw a death glare at him, a little bit also because deep down he knew that his friend was right. Which didn't give him a right to say that though, if anyone admitted that his favorite team maybe sometimes sucked, it was Niall himself. "Haz, just shut the fuck up, alright? You have no fuckin' clue about football. Can you just let me watch this now? I told you I don't wanna go to that bar, a drink there costs more than any of us could afford in a month, so imagine what the VIP section is like."

"Well, if you would've listened you'd know that it includes free drinks, but since you don't care… " Shit, Harry always knew how to get Niall, he had already lowered his hand again, trying to hide his smirk while Niall just stared at him, suddenly having forgotten about the match, his anger slowly being replaced by something else.

"Wait… are you serious?" You never knew with Harry, sometimes he'd make up stuff just to get Niall to listen, but judging by the stupid grin plastered across his face, he was probably speaking the truth this time.

"Of course, see? You should really start listening when I'm talking, Nialler, maybe I'm gonna ask someone else to come with me now, since you-"

"Bullshit, you love me, show me that." Not giving him a chance to finish, Niall took his legs down from the coffee table, ignoring the remote dropping to the floor as he ripped the two passes out of Harry's weak grip, suddenly eager to get a look on them. God knows if there was one thing Niall loved it was going out, and even more so if it involved free drinks. "Shit, they look pretty real… how'd you get them?"

Now Harry seemed to become a bit unsure, he was shrugging as the blonde boy looked up for a second from examining the passes, smile faltering as his face turned a bit more concentrated. "Well… that's a good question, actually… I was walking back from my lecture, for biology, you know? And I was gonna bring my stuff back to my dorm before coming over to yours because-" 

"Haz, the short version, please." Moments like these Niall was glad they didn't live together, though they had talked about it more than once when they had still been in high school, but of course Niall's dad would've never allowed it, telling him it'd distract Niall from his studies and such. As if Niall could get distracted from things he had never paid any attention to.

"Okay, some guy gave them to me." Now that was a bit TOO short, Niall looked up once more, waiting for Harry to continue as the story seemed a bit fishy now. it wouldn't have been the first time though, that some guy tried to flirt with the slightly younger boy by inviting him to a party or something, but VIP passes to that place were a bit much. Maybe Niall should have gone and introduced himself to that guy as well. "It was weird, because… he was kinda familiar? But we were both in a hurry and he just kinda shoved them at me and just said he doesn't need them anymore and that he was sure college kids would love to go there. And he was on the phone as well, seemed kinda busy. Anyways… I don't think I've seen him on campus before, maybe somewhere else, but… who cares, right? We got the passes and we have to go there."

"For when is it?" Niall simply brushed the whole story aside again as soon as he looked down once more, not really caring about any details to this or who Harry thought he knew or not because he was right, they had the passes and they _needed_ to go there.

"Tonight. Why do you think I was trying so hard to get you to listen?" There was a chuckle that Niall barely heard, his thoughts had already wandered off to somewhere else, excitement bubbling inside of him now. He couldn't fucking wait to brag about this on monday, none of his other friends would even believe him, they'd have to take about a million selfies.

"Because you always pretend it's the most important news in the world? Can't expect me to still fall for it." Today was about the very first time Niall would actually ever forgive Harry for making him miss the game, but only because he had long forgotten about it. It was friday and Niall had already tried to be okay with the idea of staying in the whole weekend because both him and Harry were broke, again, just watch some telly and eat whatever was left in Niall's fridge. But now that change of events had Niall buzzing, it was only 5 pm but he kinda already felt like getting up to shower and getting ready. Speaking of which… "You can't wear the shirt with the weird print."

"And you can't wear a tank top. Or that snapback." With that, Harry pushed the snapback down into Niall's face before laughing loudly and snatching the passes from him, ignoring the blonde's complaints as he pushed himself off the couch. "Then that's settled. I'll go make some tea, we still got hours to kill anyways."

"I don't have any tea." Niall grumbled, slightly irritated as he took the snapback off and ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to sort it out. Not that he was somehow trying to look a certain way, he wasn't even wearing a shirt and he had been lying on that couch for about three hours now, ever since he had skipped english literature. 

"That's why I brought mine." Harry threw the other boy a smile over his shoulder as he walked the short way over to the kitchen while Niall just sighed lowly, questioning why he had even bothered to ask. It was like the one time Harry had made him keep organic juice in his fridge for whenever he came over and Niall had accidentally poured it over his cereal because being half asleep, he had mistaken it for milk. Needless to say, Harry wasn't allowed to keep things in Niall's fridge anymore. "You want some?"

"No, but get me a beer, yeah?" If there was still any left, the thought of having run out was quite depressing. Niall had kinda been fired from his saturday job a few weeks ago, not because he had done anything wrong or shown up hungover, his boss had never cared about that, but they had closed the shop and Niall hadn't started looking for anything else yet. Not that he had much qualifications anyways, so the only source of income he now had came from his dad, who didn't exactly send him much, only enough to pay the rent for his dorm and buy groceries once a while. 

"How about a glass of water?" Harry joked, but probably only halfways, he was always trying to get Niall to live a healthier lifestyle though they both knew he would never succeed so the blonde simply ignored him, half settling back against the couch to watch the rest of the match. Though he was excited for tonight, maybe it still wasn't worth getting up just yet.

It was kinda funny really, Niall had known Harry ever since they had gotten to high school, Niall originally came from Ireland but they had moved after his dad had gotten a new job in England. Though he and Harry were very different they still somehow got along well, especially also because Harry's family had always welcomed Niall whenever he hadn't wanted to go home to his own. Which, had happened almost every single day.

Niall's family was a bit difficult, he had almost always lived with his dad and older brother but had never gotten along with either of them, his parents were divorced and his mum was off with a new family now, not really having much time for her two other sons. So naturally, Niall was used to taking care of himself, ever since he had been a child, and he kinda liked it this way, but he'd still never say no to a dinner over at Harry's house.

Still, now that they were both at college those skills came in handy though. Actually, Niall was having the time of his life here, he had tons of friends, he would go out whenever he could afford it, he came back home to his dorm whenever he pleased and they'd go to college parties at least three times a month. Really, it was heaven on earth. Or almost, considering Niall's slight money problems.

When Harry came back, holding an open bottle towards the blonde, the match was over and Niall had already changed the channel so they wouldn't have to talk about how his team had lost. Again. "You only got two beers left, I think you need to reduce your intake."

"Or you could borrow me five bucks." Niall suggested, kinda a bit hopeful as he took the beer out of Harry's hands while the other boy sat back down next to him, seriously with a mug of tea in his hands. Hopefully he had washed that mug before because Niall surely hadn't.

"I'm broke myself, Nialler. Mum said she won't send me more money this month and my job isn't paying that well either, you know that. Which reminds me… you actually still owe me money." Possible, Niall always seemed to owe someone money, but he just shrugged, it wasn't much and it's not like he'd never pay it back, just not now. 

"I'll give it back to you once my dad stops moping around because of my grades." That was the only thing Niall's dad seemed to care about, or the only reason why he called really, but luckily, and in contrast to when Niall had still been in high school, he could just hang up the phone whenever they started fighting now. Very useful.

"Which means, never. You could really study more, you know? Don't pull that face at me, it's true, I know you're not failing that dramatically, I'm just saying, I feel like it's my duty as your best friend to remind you that-"

"Haz, shut up, okay? I'm very flattered but I know what I'm doing, alright? It's fine, I'm happy the way it is, I don't care about my grades or the money." Maybe a little bit, but not enough for Niall to change anything about it, he was trying to think of something to change the topic as soon as he could almost hear Harry's brain coming up with an answer, his mouth actually already open as Niall interrupted him. "Did you use the towel in the kitchen?"

"What? No, I… it was gross, it had had stains all over it. What was it? Milk?" Niall hadn't had milk in a week because it was slightly expensive, but of course Harry didn't know that so the blonde boy smirked before taking a sip of his beer, turning his attention back to the TV, acting like none of this was out of order.

"It was cum, actually." And that wasn't even a lie and also, they were so far off the topic now, there was no way they'd go back to it. Good.

"I… what the _fuck_ , Niall?! I almost touched that!" Harry almost dropped his tea while Niall chuckled to himself for getting the hoped reaction, adjusting himself a little bit to be more comfortable on the couch. "Yours or someone else's?!"

"Both, probably. You know when we were at this party and this girl had her brother staying with her over the weekend? I didn't actually show him the way back to the dorms. Well… I did, but only to mine." Yeah, he had been quite fit, but Niall had also been a bit drunk so there was that. He had hooked up with tons of guys, but also girls, Niall didn't actually mind, if he found someone hot, he found them hot, end of story.

"Gross, Nialler. At least wash it, you know?! You really need to stop having sex with people everywhere in your dorm, it's freaking me out. I mean honestly, the kitchen?!" Yet he was still sitting on the couch like nothing was wrong, Niall was too amused to stop chuckling, it's not like Harry didn't know about his one night stands, there was no need for him to act so overly shocked. "Have you ever even had sex with the same person twice, you weirdo?"

"Of course I did. I just like to be independent." Niall joked, nudging his leg against Harry's, who immediately pulled back in disgust before letting out a huff, shaking his head a bit as he took another sip of tea. 

"You really need a relationship." Okay, change of plan, that topic was wrong as well.

"I've had plenty. And besides… you aren't in one either? Nothing's great about that anyways, it just brings responsibility and shit, I don't need any of that. Just imagine if either of us were in a relationship, we couldn't even use those VIP passes to full potential tonight." Actually, Niall had never been in a serious relationship, Harry knew that of course, but they never really talked about it in depth, just kinda took it as it was, Harry would sometimes have a boyfriend for a while and Niall had one night stands and that was alright, to each their own. 

"… point taken." Harry admitted after a while and Niall shot him a grin before finishing his beer and half smashing the bottle on the table, propping his feet back up as he settled back down against the only pillow he had.

"See? Let's just focus on tonight, yeah? It'll be ace, I know it will be, and who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll wake up with some rich fucking millionaire next to me who's deeply in love with me already." Winking, Niall quickly considered the chances of that happening for real while Harry almost choked on his tea next to him. Well, okay, maybe the chances weren't that high. 

"Yeah, right, keep on dreaming, Ni." He would.

 

———————

 

"I'm not sure if they'll let us in like this, actually, I should've worn-"

"Shush, Harry, we got the passes, they _have_ to let us in. I'll flirt with the bodyguard if necessary, okay?" Pulling Harry along by his sleeve, Niall almost had to keep himself calm so he wouldn't start jumping up and down in excitement as they waited in line. He was buzzing, partly because he couldn't wait, partly also because he had not only drank two more beers but had also decided to open his last bottle of whiskey before coming here. Who knows, the drinks might not been free after all. 

"We want him to let us in though, not to ban us from the building." Harry joked, easily avoiding getting hit in the ribs by Niall's elbow. "Let's just play it cool, okay? We look fine, we-"

"I'm not the one freaking out, Haz, just shut it, okay? We're almost up." Besides, they DID look fine, they were both wearing jeans and plain shirts, and yeah, maybe some other people were dressed fancier, but at least Niall had left his snapback at home and Harry hadn't worn one of his awful button ups. Or maybe he should have, because it would've worked as pretty great distraction.

Of course Harry didn't calm down until he had managed to make Niall nervous as well and having him slightly twist his pass in his hands, heart bumping that tiny bit faster, his cheeks flushed partly from the alcohol intake but also because it was pretty cold out here. But bringing jackets had definitely been a no go. 

"Maybe we should-" 

"Evening, lads." Before Harry had been able to finish yet another of his pointless ideas on how to get inside, the people in front of them were let in, leaving them eye to eye with the bodyguard that, in all honesty, looked a lot bigger like this than from far behind the queue. Okay, maybe Niall would save that flirting. "That's the VIP entrance."

"Yeah… yeah, we know. Here." It hadn't even sounded rude, just a simple information, but Niall had already put his pass right in front of the bodyguard's face, trying to be as confident as he usually was and not be slightly taken aback by the guy's appearance. If Harry didn't fuck up now then they'd be fine for sure. 

"Um, alright, then… " Taking the VIP passes from both of them, the bodyguard both checked them out from head to toe before looking back at the passes, then again, seemingly unsure about this whole thing. Shit, Niall NEEDED to get in there. "Are you sure you've gotten these in a legal way?"

"Wh- of course. Someone gave them to us, we didn't like… steal them or fake them or something, I don't even know hot to do that, I-"

"Yeah, we are." Niall interrupted Harry, throwing a side glance at him before he could fuck this up even more, if the talking would have been left to him, they'd probably be kicked out of town already.

"Alright then… you can go in. But don't behave strange or you're out faster than you can blink. And no phones allowed inside." Shit, how was Niall gonna prove this now?!

"Why?" Maybe he should've just let it be as soon as the bodyguard had sighed and put bracelets on them before stepping aside to let them pass, but it just so slipped out of Niall, immediately having Harry gripping his wrist to try and pull him inside, not fast enough though for Niall to miss the answer.

"Celebrity guests." Oh.

"Who-"

"Come _on_ , Niall!" And then Harry had finally pulled hard enough, their voices getting mixed up with tons of others and loud music, the blonde boy's slight annoyance quickly turning back into excitement, his fast bumping heart now having nothing to do anymore with nervousness. This was fucking _sick_.

"Fuck, it's huge." Niall breathed, pretty sure that Harry hadn't heard him but he also didn't care, he slowly pulled his wrist out of his friend's now weak grip, trying to take all of this in, the thumping in his ears fitting the one of his heart, lips curling into a smile as he simply forgot about anything that wasn't happening right at this moment. Fuck whatever celebrity was here, couldn't be a famous one if he came to this town, they were gonna have the best night ever, with or without selfies.

The grin Niall and Harry threw at each other was pretty clear, they were both buzzing, both very aware that this was special and that they probably were the only guys from college who'd ever even see the inside of this building, so naturally, they were gonna make the very best of it, they knew how to do it with much less than this so Niall's mind was blown thinking about how much better this was gonna be.

It was usual for them to go out together, usually with some of their other mates, but they didn't usually stay together the whole time, or hardly ever actually, neither of them were bad at chatting up people and though Niall kinda liked to think he was a lot better at it, Harry was probably just as good.

This time though, they did stay together for a while, since they were all alone, getting a few drinks and stuff, just taking it in, but Niall's cheeks quickly felt a lot more flushed and his shirt a bit too warm, he felt an itching underneath his skin to just go and get in, dance a bit, chat some people up, the usual really, only for free this time and also in about 100 times better company than drunk college kids like himself. 

Niall had no idea how much time passed by, or how long he hadn't seen Harry for, he felt a bit sweaty and his head was dizzy, his laugh was way too loud but got quietened by the music anyways. He had no problem chatting up some girls at the bar, having a laugh with them and getting them drinks even though they were free for everyone. They all just assumed Niall was rich or important as well or somehow one of them, it was fucking amazing really and honestly, the blonde boy didn't even think about how he'd ever find Harry again, or if he even wanted to, he was having so much fun here, it should've almost been illegal.

"I'll be right back, I'll go to the toilets." He half shouted into the girl's ear that had been making eyes at him for at least an hour now, grinning as she pretended to pout, her grip still tight around his waist, not yet letting him leave but rather pressing a longing kiss to his cheek, purring a 'Don't take too long' as she let Niall go. There most definitely was a lipstick stain on his skin now, but in all honestly, it just gave Niall more reason to hurry up.

Pushing through people was a bit of a challenge, or finding the bathroom first of all, especially because Niall had forgotten to leave his glass at the bar with the girls, he now kinda had to carry it to the toilets, trying not to spill it on too many people. Then again though, he was a bit too drunk to really care or take any notice of it, he could've walked past Harry right now and not even recognized him probably. Not that he had thought about any of his friends in the past few hours anyways.

The toilets turned out to be pretty far away, so far that Niall started to feel even dizzier and questioned whether he really actually needed to pee or not. Then again though, he also wasn't quite sure if he'd ever find back to those girls or not and in all honesty, maybe he didn't even care.

There were a few tables in the corners, probably for really important people or something, Niall didn't actually care or think about it, all he knew was that he had to go past them and that there was some very serious looking bodyguard in front of him that he almost poured his drink on, quickly walking out of his way in the last moment. A little bit took quickly maybe because his whole entire drink went over someone else's shirt in the matter of a second.

"Oh… oops." Was all Niall brought out, standing there a bit perplexed for a second, blinking a few times as he stared at a very wet shirt in front of him before slowly lifting his head to meet some guy's eyes, trying hard to bite back his grin. Laughing would've been very inappropriate now. "Sorry, mate, I-"

"Watch where you're going, kid." Before said guy had even done as much as look at Niall, the blonde was already pulled away from him by the bodyguard, a bit roughly, as if he wasn't allowed to touch that guy on accident or something. "Do that again and I'll have you kicked out." 

"I don't exactly have anything left to do it again with." Niall blurted out dumbly, holding up his now empty glass, not really having tried to be funny or anything, it was simply the truth and he was drunk, but it nevertheless caused a chuckle to erupt from someone else's mouth. It was another guy that had popped up next to the one with the now wet shirt, he was a bit shorter, probably Niall's height, but definitely older.

"Made some friends, Payno?" That was a slightly odd name, but then Niall thought about his own nicknames and forced his drunken self to not speak his mind out loud, not again, he could keep it together for a bit before it'd get him kicked out of here.

"I-"

"No, he didn't." The bodyguard immediately jumped in, almost blocking Niall's sight now as he glared down at him, as if the blonde had been trying to desperately look at the two other guys or anything, he was simply looking for the toilets and they happened to be right over there. "Would you please step back, this is a private area."

"But I really gotta pee and the bathroom is over there." Or maybe Niall didn't have to pee that badly, he wasn't quite sure anymore, but he somehow really wanted to go to the bathroom now. 

"Come on, Paddy, let the poor lad have a piss before he wees on your shoes." That second guy was definitely Niall's favorite, he simply pushed the bodyguard's arm to the side as he tried to stop him, smirking at Niall, who was both slightly confused over the situation but also feeling quite light headed. Maybe he also needed to puke a little bit now. "It's not like he threw himself at Liam screaming and asking for a selfie."

"Selfies aren't allowed." Okay, now Niall was definitely taking it too far, he simply had no idea who these people were but he assumed they were important if they had a personal bodyguard, either ways, his drunken self was quite convinced that he needed to inform them about the no phone rule. He was just being nice after all. "Because of some celebrities… but I don't know which ones."

"… right. Had a bit much to drink, huh?" Obviously the shorter guy was more than just amused by Niall while the bodyguard only rolled his eyes and wet shirt guy only stood in the background, obviously not sure how to react to the whole situation. Not that Niall could really focus on him because he could barely focus on anything for longer than ten seconds. "Come on, bathroom's over there, you can walk through, it's fine. Just don't puke all over the floor, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay." Niall agreed after a second, as if it was a serious thing to consider, feeling himself grinning at the guy though as he petted his shoulder and made the bodyguard let Niall pass. As if there weren't other people simply walking through as well, he just seemed to be angry because of the spilled drink thing. "Sorry for that, mate." 

As he passed the guy, who apparently was called Liam, or Payno, whatever, Niall made sure to apologize again, bringing himself to a drunken smile, almost brushing the seemingly older lad on accident but not really. "It's fine, no worries."

They looked at each other for a second or two, maybe Niall's smile got returned but he couldn't really remember it afterwards as soon as he had passed them all by, bumping into more people on his way, trying to be somewhat quick. Just in case this really was a private area or something, it hadn't really looked like one but you never knew right, Niall didn't wanna have to leave just because of a piss.

As soon as he reached the bathroom, his ears were kinda ringing as all the music and voices got cut off, it almost made him feel even more drunk than before, but he tried to act somewhat normal, for the sake of the few other people in there. Easier said that done.

Honestly though, all of this was quite strange, Niall maybe took a bit too long unbuckling his belt and then actually peeing, so he had quite some time to think this through. Maybe that guy had been some super unknown celebrity or whatever? Like, there surely were tons of those and at least that would explain why he came here, in the most boring city around. Or maybe he was just some rich ass kid who thought he needed a private bodyguard or whatever. 

Either ways, Niall really just wanted to go back outside and find those girls again, or at least have some more fun, but in all honesty, the longer he was just standing there inside the bathroom, the more tired and slightly more sick he felt. Maybe the 'don't puke all over the floor' advice hadn't come out of nowhere after all.

Just to calm a bit down, Niall took extra long washing his hands, then splashing some cold water into his face as well, rubbing the lipstick stain off his cheek, trying to focus on his reflection in the mirror without having it become blurry. Good thing he was almost the only person in the bathroom now because he definitely was behaving rather strange. 

Niall didn't know how long he stood there and waited, for his head to stop spinning, or maybe for some of his drunkenness to pass, either ways, he barely even noticed the bathroom door opening at some point, not bothering to turn his head until he felt someone stepping up right next to him, almost causing him to flinch.

"You're not really going to puke everywhere, right? I was just joking before." It was the short guy again, though up close he didn't seem that short, he was probably even taller than Niall, and a lot older as well in that light. "You alright?"

"I… yeah, I'm fine, jus'… feel a bit dizzy, is all. And I lost my, um, friends somewhere." Well, not exactly his friends, but how else would Niall have called them? Potential hook ups?

"Well, it's gonna be hard finding them here. How'd you get VIP passes anyways?" Was it so obvious that Niall didn't actually belong in here? That guy didn't seem mad or anything, he seemed to genuinely want to know actually, maybe he also was slightly worried about Niall having to steady himself with a hand on the sink. 

"Um… " Right, that story was a bit hard to get straight when intoxicated. "My best friend, he… he was walking home from a lecture and uh… some guy gave them to him because he didn't need them and um… thought college kids would enjoy this… he was pretty right actually."

"I… " For some reason, that story was either unbelievable or Niall was imaging things now, but the other guy's eyes had suddenly gone wide as he froze in place, and then, as if it wasn't enough, he suddenly bursted out laughing loudly, actually hurting Niall's ears a little bit. "Are you being for real?! _That_ was your best friend? That's fuckin' hilarious, honestly."

"Um, what?" Was he insane or something, like… maybe Niall wasn't the only one who had drank a bit too much. 

"I'm the one who gave him the passes, we had too many and I was walking past this college and I thought hey why not, might as well put them to good use. Can't believe I actually invited the person who was gonna spill his drink over Payno's shirt, that's great." Oh. Well, now, that was a strange plot twist, Niall somehow didn't find the situation as weird as he would have had he been sober probably, but he still had a few questions and even though he should have maybe thanked that guy for making his night, something else slipped out first.

"Payno's a really strange fuckin' name." There, Niall had said it, in all seriousness as well, not really understanding why that guy was yet again laughing, that seemed to be his thing though.

"You have no idea who he is, have you?" Apparently, that seemed to amuse him even more. 

"Who?" Niall asked, already getting a bit twisted up in the conversation, he wasn't so good at solving riddles after five drinks, not really even looking at the other guy anymore but rather trying to focus on the tiles now, it helped a bit with the slight sickness rising in his stomach. 

"Liam Payne? The guy you spilled your entire drink over?" Now it made sense, it was a nickname! Other than that though, this situation was just getting more confusing with every second passing and maybe the other man could read it in Niall's face and the rather long pause between them because he just smirked. "I suppose that's a no. Well, I'm glad you're having a good time either way, Paddy, the mean guy from before that wanted to kick you out, sent me in to check if you're plotting some master plan in here."

"Um… I just needed a piss." Honestly, what was with these people? "I… you know my… my best friend he said that… that you seemed kinda familiar to him? That's… weird."

"Probably just confused me with someone he knows, huh?" Somehow Niall was questioning this answer a lot, especially the smile he received for that, but he was too gone to really think about it so he just nodded along, letting the guy easily wrap an arm around his shoulders, as if they were friends or something. "I'm Louis, by the way, and you are…?"

"Uh, I'm Niall." Right, maybe now was the right time to address this, just to keep up some formalities, Niall didn't wanna come off as like, rude or anything, he was just drunk, not an idiot. "Thanks for… for giving us the passes, I… best night of my life, honestly."

"I'm glad to hear that, Niall. And you're welcome, we would've just thrown them away or something, I knew I would've loved this while being at college. I mean, I've only been there for a semester or so, but still. How old are you anyways?" Those were some strange fucking questions to be honest, but Niall didn't even really think about it when Louis led him back to the door, his arm slowly slipping now but still walking next to Niall, as if they had just become friends or something. Weird.

"I'm 19, but… 'm almost 20… you?" He HAD to be older, just like that Liam guy, though Niall did look younger than his age maybe, he could judge other's pretty well nevertheless.

Since they were back out of the bathroom now, they had to raise their voices, which was pretty hard for Niall because he already had a hard time speaking in full sentences without slurring, so he counted himself lucky that Louis even answered at all, even if it was a bit different than expected. "I'm 26. Almost 27 actually. And you go to college, yeah? You like it?"

"Uh… sure." Niall was still a bit stuck trying to get over the fact that this guy was like 7 years older than him and yet he still walked with him, simply because he had no idea what else to do, it's not like he was scared or anything, even if the situation was quite bizarre.

"That's great. Hey, you wanna like, sit with us? Only if you want, but I think Liam's a bit bored and I actually think you'd get along pretty well, you know?" No, Niall had no idea why Louis would think that, he didn't even know Niall after all now, did he? Then again… Niall also didn't know these girls that he had been talking to before and he also thought that they'd have a blast back in his dorm. Alone. Naked. But anyways.

"Why?" That Liam guy, whoever he was, hadn't seemed very keen on talking to Niall, then again, he also hadn't seemed mad in any way at all when Niall had literally ruined his shirt, he might have even smiled after the apology so he couldn't be THAT bad right? Still better than being by yourself probably.

"Just a feeling I have. Come on, I'll introduce you to our friends, yeah?" For some reason, Louis seemed to be buzzing as he took Niall back to one of these tables in the corner, halfway pulling him along, maybe so he wouldn't get lost but maybe also because Niall couldn't walk that straight anymore.

"Louis, why are you-"

"You're gonna be thankful for this, trust me, he knows nothing and I have a plan." Obviously, they had to go past that bodyguard once more, only now he seemed to be frustrated rather than angry as Louis shoved Niall past him and all the blonde could do was throw a dumb look at the man, halfway catching him shaking his head to himself. Well, that didn't look too promising, but there was no way to escape this Louis guy now and besides, Niall had nothing better to do.

They stopped in front of one end of a table with a few people sitting around, chatting, drinking, but barely any of them looked up, the ones who did though seemed slightly confused, staring at Niall and then at Louis next to him. No one seemed as confused as Liam though, he had somehow managed to change his shirt, sitting at the very end with a half empty glass in front of him, his eyes full of confusion as they met Niall's. Well, at least the blonde wasn't the only one without a clue about what was going on.

"Louis, who the fuck is that?" One of the guys who Niall didn't know spoke up first, not that excited about the blonde's presence, obviously, but why the hell would they go to a bar if they didn't wanna talk to strangers though? "If he's a fan then-"

"He's not. That's Niall, he's 19, and he goes to college here and I happen to have given the two spare passes we had to his best friend. So basically, I kinda invited him here, which makes him my guest and since he lost his friends, I thought he could sit with us." Definitely crazy or drunk, but who was Niall to judge, he had literally had sex in his own kitchen a week ago and then teased his best friend about almost having touched his cum. "So, Niall, that's Andy, that's my sister, that's… "

Louis literally said all of their names and Niall didn't even keep just ONE, all he knew was that at the end everyone was staring at him and Louis didn't care one bit as he half pushed him to sit next to this Liam guy, who had been quiet the whole entire time, even budging up to make space as Louis told him so.

"And that's Liam, or Payno, but since you seem to think that name is weird maybe just stick to Liam." Right, Niall was probably not gonna stick to anything once he had ruined this guy's second shirt as well with his vomit this time, but he was really trying to not let his alcohol intake show too much.

"Um. Hi, I… glad you, uh, had another shirt with you." That was appropriate right?

"Yeah, don't worry about it, I… listen, are you alright?" Liam seemed to be slightly worried, maybe about the way Niall felt like he would pass out against the other man's shoulder any second, but that was just a feeling anyways. 

"Sure, he's fine, he just needs a drink. Anyone else want anything? I'll go get a few, it's on me." And with that, Louis simply left Niall sitting there with these guys, not without winking at someone, at Liam maybe, Niall wasn't too sure, all he knew was that he was more then just confused, and not only by what Louis had just said before leaving.

"All the drinks are free though… " He mumbled, not quite sure to whom since Louis was already out of sight anyways, maybe Niall could just sit here and try not to pass out and everyone would ignore him, that actually sounded like a really good idea and-

"They are, aren't they?" Obviously Liam had heard him because he let out something like a chuckle, Niall only briefly looked over at him though, glad as he noticed that at least most of the others had gone over to picking up their conversations again and weren't staring at him anymore. He was confident, yes, but that had still been strange as hell.

"Yeah, your friend is… really weird." Niall concluded, trying to somehow put it nice, he was definitely not gonna repeat anything Louis had said, mostly also because it was all mashed up in his head now. Maybe Niall really did need another drink, it's not like he was sobering up that much, but he didn't feel too great anymore either.

"Tell me something I don't know." Liam sighed but then he let out a short laugh, it hurt Niall's head slightly since they were so close but he didn't flinch, his eyes now going down to the table, to where Liam was gripping his glass rather tightly, his knuckles almost turning white, as if he was nervous or something. He definitely hadn't had much to drink yet. "So, um… your best friend got the passes from Louis, huh?"

For a moment or two, Niall just considered nodding, but then he looked up and met Liam's eyes once more, staring at him for a moment before Liam was the one who actually turned his head away and Niall decided that maybe that guy had some problems talking to strangers. He almost seemed nervous or something, maybe Niall could help with that, provided he brought out whole sentences of course. He would, if he tried really hard, and he usually was a talkative drunk anyways. "Yeah, he did. Harry… that's his name, he was all flustered about it when he came to my dorm and kept me from watching the game. Did you watch it? My favorite team lost, it was a bummer, but I'm here now so that makes up for it, I guess. But I haven't seen Harry in like… hours, and I was talking to these girls but I can't find them anymore either and now… well now I'm here. Why are you all just sitting here anyways, you're missing out on everything."

"I, well… " Okay, he definitely hadn't expected Niall to talk this much, Liam seemed a bit stunned, blinking a few times as he obviously tried to think of an answer and the blonde boy took the chance to look at him more closely, as far as he could really concentrate on his face of course.

He didn't look bad at all, plus he was definitely more Niall's type than the Louis guy from before, though they were both brunette and Niall had a thing for that somehow, Liam's face was somehow softer, and his eyes were really brown and warm, it almost made him feel a little less dizzy to look into them. Also, the black shirt he was wearing now fit him a lot better than the one Niall had poured his drink over and though half his arms were covered, Niall could see that he had a lot of tattoos. Which somehow didn't fit to his almost shy personality but definitely fit to his appearance.

So in conclusion, that guy was somehow hot and the longer the blonde stared, the more he noticed, like how plump Liam's lips were and how well that beard actually fit him and how amazingly styled his hair seemed to be and yet so soft looking that Niall would've loved to touch it. But he was not THAT drunk.

"You know we just… we're just hanging out a bit, we're all a bit tired, so… yeah." That didn't even make any sense but Niall decided to let that answer pass, mostly because Liam seemed to be close to having that glass burst in his hand. "Well, except, Louis, he… he's gonna bring you the biggest drink now, just so you know."

"Well, good, I'm kinda feeling myself sobering up anyways, I can need a drink. Or three." Then, just because he could, Niall laughed at his own joke, not really caring if Liam was amused or not, he wasn't like, trying to impress him or anything, he could literally get up and leave to go search for Harry if he got too bored here. "You gonna drink something as well? You seem awfully sober."

"I… maybe I will, I'm… wasn't really planning on, I have to … work tomorrow, so… " Well that was no argument for Niall since he had literally gone from clubs right off to work at 6 am, but he understood that this was nothing to be proud of really and that maybe Liam was a bit more responsible. "I mean… only in the evening, but… "

"Really? What kinda job is that?" And then, as Liam's eyes had already gone a bit wide in panic, Niall decided not to even wait for an answer but just blurted out with his first guess, seemed to be a pretty reasonable one as well. "Wait, do you work in a strip club?"

"What?! A strip- no, I… no, I don't, why-"

"I was just joking, mate, calm down." Laughing to himself, Niall almost felt bad for how flustered Liam seemed to be now, as if he was seriously embarrassed by this suggestion or something. In all honesty though, he could have easily been a stripper, if the rest of his body was anything like his arms and his face, "Sorry if I freaked you out. So what do you work as? I didn't think you were actually from here."

"I'm not actually from here, uh… none of us are." Well, that was one not so subtle way to avoid the job question, but Niall let him be, if his job was that big of a secret then maybe he was a stripper after all. A famous stripper maybe, that would explain a lot to be honest.

"Me neither. I'm actually from Ireland, if you haven't noticed my accent, can't seem to lose it even though I've been here since I was a kid. I actually always wanted to go back to Ireland and go to college there, but it's expensive, and Harry's here as well, so yeah… " Shrugging, Niall decided that that was enough of his life story to tell to a complete stranger, not that there was much more, he could've basically summed it all up in one single sentence probably. "I think Louis is coming back."

"Really?" Now Liam also sat up a bit more straight to look for his friend, maybe a bit too eager, but that feeling quickly seemed to change once Louis really got into view with very obviously more than just one drink and though Liam added the 'Oh no' only under his breath, Niall was still very aware of it for some reason.

"Looks like you will definitely gonna have a drink with me now." For some reason that got Niall smirking at Liam, whose facial expression was only slightly horrified as he desperately tried to to cover it up with a neutral one, not really succeeding that much at it though. That guy really needed a drink and Niall was gonna make sure of it.

"I… we'll see." And that was pretty much the last bit of protest Liam said out loud because as soon as Louis had handed out the drinks and Niall had made sure both him and Liam had emptied their first glass within five minutes, the rest of the night became a blur.

 

—————

 

When Niall woke up, his head was hurting a lot less than expected, there definitely was a slight thumping but he could live with that if only he didn't move too much. And stayed wrapped up in these sheets that somehow felt a whole lot better than they usually did, they also smelled better this morning, as if Niall hadn't forgotten to wash them in like a whole month. But maybe that was just because he had been out all night, it always somehow made his bed seem more comfortable, bigger as well, provided he had come back to his dorm by himself, which seemed to be the case right now.

Just as Niall let out a sigh, keeping his eyes closed as he turned to his other side, attempting to snuggle further into his pillow, mind still dizzy and no real memories of last night really prominent, he somehow got a bit disturbed in his light slumber as he heard something moving inside of his room. And then, as if that wasn't creepy enough, a voice coming from a bit further away.

"Niall… are you awake?" Well, that definitely wasn't some girl's voice, not that that was unusual, but that definitely meant Niall hadn't found back to those girls last night, because right now, he could barely even remember what he had been doing after he had gotten to that bar. Hmm… maybe it was just Harry who had crashed at his place.

"Hmm… let me sleep." Niall mumbled somewhere into the pillow, slightly annoyed by his best friend's attempts to wake him up, it was saturday, he was gonna sleep the whole damn day if he wanted to. "You can do your yoga by yourself, Haz… but be quiet…"

"I'm not Harry, Niall, I… wake up." Okay, well, now that was slightly weird, either Harry was suffering from an identity crisis now or it really was someone else, Niall already felt all the energy draining from his body as he simply lifted his arms just to rub at his eyes, not yet attempting to sit up but instead blinking against the light a few times. "Are you… alright? You had a lot to drink and… I mean I did as well, obviously, but… if you need some water or anything… "

That voice didn't belong to Harry in any way, it took Niall a few moments before he had somewhat managed to rub the sleep from his eyes and let out a long yawn, trying to get his orientation back as he forced himself to keep his eyes open. And the sight he had from what definitely was not his own bed, was a little bit different than he had expected.

The room he was in was massive, probably as big as Niall's whole dorm, if not bigger, plus there was a TV about three times the size of his, the bed he was lying in was at least king size and it was so clean everywhere, without any stains on the carpet or the furniture like he was used to. But the thing that struck Niall the very most wasn't really part of the interior, it was rather the person sitting in an armchair near the bed, only wearing a pair of sweatpants, looking at Niall as if the boy had just woken up from a coma or something.

Liam.

He looked quite terrible actually, his tattoos on full display this time as he wasn't wearing a shirt, but his face was a bit pale and his hair quite the opposite of yesterday. Still, he looked bloody attractive in that light and now that Niall could finally fully focus and look at him. And… wait.

"Oh… did we fuck?" Niall decided that just asking was probably the best solution, even though it had Liam's head snapping up as the blonde was trying to sit up a bit more straight. Well, that blanket was definitely touching parts of his body he usually kept covered with boxer shorts at night.

"Um… well… " Liam started, seemingly nervous now, looking at Niall then down at his hands, twisting his fingers before scratching the back of his head, but honestly though, the flashbacks Niall had as he tried to recall last night were answer enough for him. 

They had both gotten drunk, obviously, Niall had already been drunk but then he had had a few more drinks with Liam, who obviously didn't need a lot to be smashed. Niall remembered only pieces of shouted conversation, flashbacks of Liam's laugh when his face had gotten flushed from the alcohol and he had gotten a lot more talkative, the look on his bodyguard's face when they had gotten up to dance, or more like, grinding against each other, well… and then things got really messed up in Niall's head. 

He did remember kissing Liam, more than just once or twice, maybe also slightly remembered them getting naked in here, the other man's hand around him or the way Liam's stubble had felt against his skin, rubbing it a bit raw, but it could've as well been a dream had there not been tender spots on Niall's neck that were a bit sensitive to the press of his thumb. Well, and then the obvious of course, he was fucking naked in what probably was Liam's bed.

"I mean we… I can't remember last night that well, but… I would, well… assume that we, um… that we hooked up, yes." Liam finally somehow managed to choke out, he was all flushed now and Niall couldn't help but think that it was somehow cute. He couldn't really say that this bothered him, Liam was fit and he obviously wasn't some gross, creepy guy, plus if it hadn't been him, Niall would've probably woken up to someone else. 

"Yeah, I thought so… is this your place?" There was nothing wrong with conversation, right? Niall was so used to this and though he could tell that Liam wasn't, he didn't wanna make this weird, he did regret not being able to remember their night that clearly because Liam was fit, but there was nothing to do about that now.

"No, it's… it's just my hotel room. Look, Niall… " He started then, just as Niall was looking around for his clothes, just to be slightly confused when he saw them somewhat neatly folded over a chair. The chances of him having put them there last night were about 100 to 1. "I don't usually… have one night stands, and… this is a bit weird for me, also because of some… circumstances and I… I know Louis, you know my mate, if you remember, played a part in this, bringing you over and all, but I still played along and… can we just, um… can we agree not to… tell anyone?"

"Who would I tell, Liam? We don't even know each other." Though Niall let out a laugh, he was a bit confused now, he did remember some odd things being said last night, but he hadn't been able to make sense of them then and god knows he wouldn't be able to now. "And I thought you're not even from here? I mean we're in a hotel, you'll probably leave again and then we'll just forget about it, right? Like sure, your mate was somehow trying to set us up and I'm really sorry if this is weird for you now, but trust me, you'll be over it in a few days. I know what I'm talking about."

"Yeah, I… I thought so, like no offense or anything, just… you seem like you… like you've done this more than just once." It was more than obvious, Niall just laughed it off, making a movement with his hand before attempting to get out of bed, glad to see that his phone was on the bedside table and that it hadn't gotten lost somewhere. Hopefully Harry had gotten home in a whole piece as well.

"'s fine, don't worry. And you're right either ways, wasn't really plannin' on going home with you but I'm not complaining either. I should probably get going now though, call my friend and stuff." Niall could see Liam's eyes widening as he just got out of bed while being nude, then quickly turning his head away as the blonde boy approached the chair that held his clothes, pleased to notice that they didn't smell too bad.

There was a weird silence falling over them while Niall got dressed and collected his phone off the bedside table, groaning internally when he saw how many missed calls and messages he had. Well, he'd be getting to that in just a bit, first of all he needed to make sure Liam wouldn't beat himself up too much over this, it was just a one night stand, nothing else.

"I'll get going now… and hey… " Making sure his voice sounded a bit softer, Niall slowly approached Liam, who was still sitting in the arm chair, feeling him flinch as he briefly touched his shoulder. It wouldn't hurt him to be a bit nice, that poor lad really seemed to have a hard time dealing with this. "Don't break your head over this, alright? It happens, no big deal. Like yeah, you slept with a 19 year old, broke college student, but I promise I don't have any diseases and I won't tell anyone. Even if I don't know who I would tell, because I can't even really remember your last name, um… Liam Payne, maybe?"

"Uh… yeah." Liam's face had gotten a bit harder at that as he stared at Niall as if he was trying to somehow see through his skin, but Niall did it off as the brunette feeling bad because of the hook up. It was kinda understandable, he clearly was older than Niall, and a lot richer, and he probably wasn't a stripper, Niall decided now that he thought about it. "If you don't mind me asking… what's your last name?"

"Horan. Niall Horan. See, I'm trusting you with my name, I'm not gonna backstab you." That was a very weak attempt of a joke, neither of them really laughed and Niall started to feel the mood getting really weird so he made sure to step back from where Liam was sitting, slowly walking over to the door. "I'll get going now, have a good stay or whatever you're doing here, and don't beat yourself up, yeah? Maybe talk to your mate, um… Louis, right? Bet he'll tell you it's not that bad either."

"Yeah… yeah probably." Liam agreed finally, when Niall's hand was already on the door handle, suddenly being stopped though as Liam got up. "Wait. Do you need… money for a taxi or anything?"

"I'll take the bus, thanks. Not a big town, right? I'll be back at my dorm in no time, don't worry about me." He probably didn't, but Niall made sure to throw a somewhat comforting smile at the other lad, not being able to help but check his bare upper body out once more now that he was standing up. That surely had been a hot night. "Bye, Liam."

"Bye… " Then, right as Niall had stepped outside of his room, leaving Liam to close the door, the other man stopped him once more, his voice a little panicked almost. Damn, he really needed to calm down. "If… if you see anyone from last night Louis introduced you to then… please don't say anything, yeah? Or if you… if you see any girls, outside the hotel or-"

"My lips are sealed, promise, I'll just pretend I have never heard your name, yeah?" Liam was so paranoid, it almost had Niall chuckling, but at least that seemed to calm the brunette man down a tad and he finally let Niall leave, maybe a little bit confused as to why it had to be such a big secret, as if Liam was someone really important or something. Maybe he had his family staying in the hotel as well or whatever.

It didn't take too long for Niall to get outside onto the street, slightly surprised to see that the hotel Liam was staying at was probably the poshest one they had around here. Well, then again, that didn't seem to be so strange after all, he obviously had money.

To be fair, Niall did see a few girls outside the hotel, they were just sitting on the sidewalk though and yeah, that was slightly worrying maybe, but nothing he really paid attention to or thought about. Maybe that celebrity that had apparently been at the bar was staying in the same hotel as Liam.

The bus station was a few blocks down the street, Niall wasn't in a hurry though, he even stopped to spend some money on an energy drink before getting his phone out to slowly read through the messages Harry had sent him, last night as well as this morning. And it was only 11 am.

Most of them were unreadable because he had obviously been drunk, but the ones from today were a bit better, plus they clearly showed Harry slowly freaking out internally the longer Niall wouldn't answer, causing him to grin as he quickly typed back a short answer, finishing his energy drink in almost two goes.

 

_To Harry 11:17 am_

_calm down mate… went home with this guy i met, im fine. he was really freaked out about us hookin up tho_

 

It took exactly two minutes before Niall's phone was vibrating in his pocket and he sighed as he disposed the empty can before fishing his phone back out, not even checking the display as he held it to his ear. "Hey, Harry."

"What the hell, Niall? I was trying to reach you since last night! I thought you were dead or something!" That outburst was a bit uncalled for, honestly, it's not the first time they had gone home, or left, without each other, but Niall still found himself smiling a bit fondly, relieved to already see the bus station a few meters down the street. 

"Well, I'm not. I told you, I slept with this guy, his mate was trying to hook us up yesterday and… wait… there was something I wanted to tell you about him, the guy's mate, I mean, there was something about him but I forgot." Right, Louis had told Niall something, something he had found hilarious, but the harder Niall thought about it, the further away it seemed to be, weird.

"Forget about it because my story is WAY better." Harry suddenly interrupted Niall's thought process with excitement, causing him to roll his eyes as he sat down on the bench next to the bus stop, feeling a slight pinch in his bum as he did so. Yep, they had definitely had sex.

"What is it?" The bus would only arrive in ten minutes, so Niall had no chance really but to listen to this, or pretend to, because he was much more interested in finding out what was on the tip of his tongue, something with Louis and the VIP passes.

"Okay, so, listen, I still can't believe this, but… " Alright, this was gonna take ages. "So, you know much I'm always on twitter, right? And I know you hate it and all but you should really start using your account. But anyways, I follow this song writer, and he's pretty well known and also verified, yeah? And he's pretty fucking hot and all and when I woke up I was checking my app and… guess why the person who gave me the VIP passes seemed so familiar to me." 

"Um, I don't know, because-"

"It was HIM, Niall! It was the song writer, it was Louis fucking Tomlinson." See, maybe Niall should've already remembered what he had been wanting to tell Harry by now, but it took him a few more minutes while listening to Harry's 'Oh my god he talked to me' before suddenly, it all came back in a rush.

"I met him. I met him when I was going to take a piss." Niall blurted out, not that impressed by having met some song writer Harry seemed to know but much more by his own memories coming back.

"Who?! _Louis_?!" It almost hurt, how much Harry had raised his voice as he asked and for a second Niall considered lying, just so he wouldn't have to deal with a ton of 'why didn't you get me his autograph' questions, but he was just so excited that everything suddenly made sense.

"Yeah, I did, don't freak out, please, yeah? It's what I wanted to tell you but forgot, I told him how I got my pass and he remembered giving them to you. And now I also know why there was some security guard, if this Louis guy is somehow famous then it makes sense that he had a bodyguard. Actually, Louis was the one who hooked me up with his friend that I had a one night stand with, you know he-"

"Wait, wait, wait! You hooked up with one of Louis' friends?! Who?!" Should Niall be worried that Harry probably knew them all by name? Probably not. 

"Um… Liam. Liam Payne was his-"

"Niall. Are you fucking… are you _fucking_ kidding me right now? If this is a joke then you're so dead. You… you had sex with Liam Payne? Is that what you're saying? That Louis Tomlinson hooked you up with Liam Payne and-"

"Yeah, he did, don't piss yourself, okay? That Louis guy isn't my type anyways." Harry had almost sounded dead, and yeah, now Niall was starting to get worried, he felt a bit bad also, if Harry was such a big fan, he should've probably really gotten him an autograph, but… how should Niall have known? 

"Okay, then… please open up google right now and type in Liam's name and then say that again, in the same calm voice. Go on. Shit, I can't believe this, Niall, you… google him, _right now_!" There was more swearing in the background that had Niall flinching a bit, only because he was so bloody confused though, automatically putting Harry on speaker as he pulled up google on his phone, not really knowing what he had to expect though. 

"Okay, okay, don't wet yourself, I'm on it… " Niall mumbled, throwing a worried glance at the direction his bus was going to come soon as he typed, misspelling Liam's name a few times before finally hitting enter. Well, and that was definitely not what he had been expecting. 

There it was, tons of pictures of Liam on google images, and of course his wikipedia article followed by tons of other articles, almost having Niall dropping his phone right then and there. Liam James Payne, 25, british singer. International Superstar. On his world tour. New album soon. Fans camping outside. Girls fainting. 

"Um…. well… I… I guess that bodyguard wasn't there for Louis after all." FUCK.

"No, he wasn't. Niall, you… you fucking slept with a celebrity." He had. Niall wasn't sure how to interpret Harry's voice, but he kinda just nodded to himself though his best friend couldn't see, trying to somehow get this into his head. Well, at least now everything made sense, especially Liam's paranoia. "You really need to start reading the newspaper."

"Yeah… I guess I do." Needless to say, Niall almost missed his bus after this, somehow having gotten stuck on scrolling through pictures of Liam, photoshoots and all that, not being able to believe that he had seen that guy shirtless in his hotel room just half an hour ago. Yet still, all he could really think about while getting on the bus and while listening to Harry's rant on how Niall was the luckiest idiot was just that one tiny thing he really regretted as he showed the bus driver his ticket. "Shit, and I didn't even let him pay for my taxi, Haz."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thank you all so much for always leaving me so many nice comments, i LOVE getting them and i always look forward to them as well!  
> and also thank you for the kudos :D  
> i hope youre all gonna enjoy this chapter as well!

"Basically, I hooked you up with him, you know, I mean, those were _my_ VIP passes and-"

"That Louis guy hooked us up, Harry, no matter how many times you try to twist the story around. Besides, it's been two days, remind me why we're still talking about this?" Niall was a bit annoyed, yeah, it's not like he was desperately trying to pay attention during their lecture, but he was a little bit trying to beat his own high score on the new game he had downloaded on his phone.

After he had gotten to Harry's dorm from Liam's hotel room, they had both been more than stunned and somehow also excited, Niall had actually made an afford to google Liam once more and listen to one of his songs and he had pretended to understand the hype Harry had made about both Liam and Louis. After a while though, the slight euphoria had passed and though Niall literally had had Liam's dick up his arse, he wasn't really sure how exactly that was going to benefit his life.

Sure, Liam was rich and famous and not bad looking, but… he had obviously regretted that one night stand and Niall wasn't hurt or anything, he just simply didn't care anymore and had moved past the whole thing, like with every other other one night stand he had had.

Harry on the other hand was obsessed now, Niall wasn't sure if that was because he was jealous or because he was genuinely still stunned by the whole story. Also, he was taking Niall's promise to Liam very seriously, he had even lied to their mutual friends saying they had stayed in the whole weekend, swearing them both to secrecy, because 'Niall, this is a huge deal, you could ruin his career'. As if this was relevant to him in any way.

"Still, without me, you wouldn't know how it'd feel like to sleep with a celebrity." The younger boy concluded quietly, writing something down from the board so the professor wouldn't call them out yet again for not paying attention.

"I don't know how it feels like, for the hundredth time, I can't remember anything, Harry. All I know is that my ass hurt and that he's left bruises on my neck, as you can still see." Liam's ability to mark someone up seemed to be highly developed, the love bites still hurt whenever Niall pressed on them, it was a nervous habit somehow and if he was being 100% honest, he was a tiny bit annoyed that Liam had felt the need to leave so many. "And before you ask again, we're not going to get tickets for his stupid concert, his songs aren't even good and I don't care if Jesus himself wrote them, I don't like 'em."

"Louis wrote them, not Jesus. And why not? It's only one hour away by train and he's gonna be off to America soon." Luckily, maybe then Harry would stop annoying Niall with it, the other lad had a quite impressive knowledge about celebrities to be quite honest, Niall had never paid that much attention to it but when Harry had immediately explained to him that the reason why Liam's hotel had been here, in the middle of nowhere, had been in order to keep him from getting mobbed by fans, the blonde had been a little bit impressed.

"We can't even afford them anyways. Or the train. I can't even afford new toothpaste." Which was true, unfortunately, and also the reason why Niall was almost getting slightly angry by now, he wasn't the type to yell, but this morning when Harry had tried talking him into buying some magazine with Liam's face on it, Niall had almost snapped. It's just… why couldn't he let it go? "Look, I know you think this is really cool but we'll never see them again and quite frankly, I don't care either. Neither of them were that amazing and Liam was actually really awkward. And Louis was a tiny bit insane."

"You have a really poor judge of character." Was Harry's answer to that, sounding like he was pouting and Niall rolled his eyes, letting out a tiny groan as he yet again hadn't managed to beat his high score.

"Yeah, that's why you're my best friend." Harry huffed next to Niall but the blonde ignored him now, his tongue sticking out as he got more into the game, completely blocking his best friend's attempts to convince him out. They wouldn't go to Liam's concert together even if it would take place on their campus and had a free entrance, Niall was gonna stay stubborn on that one.

The day was rather eventless, they didn't have too many classes together, so Niall actually quickly forgot about the whole thing again, hanging out with his other friends, pretending to listen during class. Only time that whole night did creep back to his mind was whenever he was annoyed about not being able to tell anyone about their VIP passes. But a promise was a promise, Harry was right on that one, plus they wouldn't have believed Niall anyways, not without the selfies he hadn't been allowed to take.

It was late in the afternoon when Niall made his way over to Harry's dorm, for once not having skipped any of his classes, but his stomach was grumbling since two hours already, the cafeteria food a bit too expensive for his current budget, he would have even been alright to settle with some fruits from Harry's place right now.

Thanking the person who let him into the building, Niall automatically took two stairs at a time as he walked up to the second floor, already knowing the way to Harry's room by heart even though it was on the completely other side of campus than his own. 

They kinda hadn't talked after that encounter this morning, so Niall wasn't really sure if Harry would even let him as he knocked, already internally preparing himself for half having to beg. Their fights were never very serious and it usually only took a bit of banter to make up for it again, but Harry could pout for a while if he really wanted to.

To Niall's surprise though, he already heard his friend from inside yelling that the door was unlocked after only half a minute, so the blonde simply let himself inside, locking up from the inside though before slipping out of his shoes. "Harry? Where are you?"

"In the living room, come over, I need to show you something." His voice sounded quite excited and Niall's stomach dropped a little bit, his thoughts somehow immediately coming up with the worst reasons for Harry's good mood. Like, Liam's concert tickets being sold for half the price or something. Or worse, maybe a poster of him hanging over Harry's couch.

"What is it?" After quickly looking around to make sure there wasn't indeed a poster somewhere on Harry's walls, Niall slowly approached his friend sitting on the couch, dropping into the other corner while closely watching Harry's grin. This couldn't be good. "I swear to god, if this is about-"

"It's about you, actually." Even worse. "Do you have your twitter notifications on?"

"What? No, I don't, I told you I don't use it, I only made the account because you forced me." Still, Niall was a bit relieved as he settled back against the pillows, pulling his own phone out now to text back some other friend of his, thinking that maybe he could ignore whatever Harry was going to say next, but apparently, that wasn't an option.

"Then go look at your followers." Since Niall knew that this obviously had nothing to do with Liam, who had like 21 million followers and would obviously not follow him, the blonde only felt a little bit bothered as he pulled up twitter to go check, not really seeing anything wrong with his followers at all though.

"So what? I don't know any of these people, Haz, you know that's all just your friends and your own saved accounts, I-"

"God, Niall! Louis followed you back." Wait, what?

"What? Why- and wait, why followed me _back_ , I'm pretty sure I don't follow anyone except for you." It took a second before Niall face went hard as Harry threw an apologetic glance at him, shrugging only a little bit as he scooted a bit closer to Niall. He should have really kept that passcode in. "What the hell, Harry? Can you please not follow people from my account? And anyways, do you monitor all of Louis' moves or how did you know?"

"Well, I did a little bit, okay, but… isn't that so cool? You could message him now and ask him to follow me, too, I'm pretty sure he knows who you are, you literally have your real name and picture on there." Well, that was true, but Niall wasn't sure if he really wanted to do that, sure, he felt slightly bad yet again, since Harry was a bit of a fan and all but… should he really bother Louis with that? Maybe it had just been a mistake after all. "Please, Niall? Come on."

"Fine, but only under one condition. You never bother me about Liam or Louis ever again and you will never ever ask me again to buy his CD or concert tickets to his shows or anything else with his face on it, deal?" Surely Niall had forgotten something because Harry immediately agreed with a smirk before plopping himself right next to Niall, completely into his space, half on his lap, watching very closely as Niall pulled up his non existent messages with Louis, trying to type quickly before Harry could come up with any suggestions.

 

_sorry my mate followed you from my acc hes slightly obsessed with you and hes now beggin me to ask you to follow him so if you wouldnt mind_

 

And then Niall quickly added Harry's username before sending the message, even under his best friend's protests that he had been too rude, pushing his phone into Harry's hands before getting up off the couch. "You can write him back if he ever answers, I'll go get myself something to eat." 

"Don't eat the mangos though, I've been saving those for later." The only reason why Niall let Harry have his phone was because he was 100% sure that Louis wouldn't answer, but it still made Harry happy obviously so Niall let him have that. It's not like he cared what Louis thought about him, or if he blocked him, and if that meant Harry would stop complaining then fine, he could have that, Niall still felt a tiny bit bad that he hadn't introduced those two anyways.

Harry's kitchen and fridge were more than just disappointing, Niall almost felt a tiny bit depressed as he got himself some too healthy looking cereal and some leftover milk, purposely ignoring the date printed on the package before going on a search for a spoon.

It helped that Harry was doing the dishes more often than Niall, the blonde actually managed to find a spoon just to almost mess it all up again as he almost dropped it at Harry's sudden outburst. Oh god, what had Niall gotten himself into? "He fucking answered, Niall, he… oh my god, he actually followed me! This is the best, I can't believe this, can I ask him to-"

"No, stop it, Harry, don't be weird, alright? He's just some guy that writes songs, he's not even that famous, calm down, yeah?" But then, as Niall was walking back into the living room, internally cursing Louis for not ignoring him, he couldn't help but still ask. "What did he say?"

"Not much, just that it was no problem and then he followed me and now he's asking if you have already figured out who he is or if you've just been too drunk that night." Now Louis was being cocky as well, didn't make any of this more appealing.

"Tell him… tell him that no, I haven't because there's nothing about him online and that the songs he wrote for Liam lack a bit of-"

"I'm gonna tell him that you really admire his work." God, this was not gonna end well.

Niall knew better though than to start a fight over this, he just fell back into his place on the couch, bowl of cereal in his lap while he tried not to worry about this, like honestly, what did he care, Harry could tell Louis whatever he wanted from his account, nothing was ever going to happen as a consequence because Niall simply didn't care about this person. "Why can't you tell him that from your own account? Or are you scared he's gonna block you if you're being your usual annoying self?"

"You know what, maybe I'll just tell him that you think Liam's dick is a bit too sm-"

"Harry!" Okay, that was definitely going too far, Niall almost spilled the whole bowl over his lap as he ripped his phone out of a giggling Harry's hands, slowly shaking his head to himself as he quickly read over the messages to make sure it had just been a joke. "Get it together, yeah? I promised I wouldn't tell anyone, that includes you. Besides, I don't even know what his dick looks like anyways."

"I thought you didn't care about Liam's career or what any of them thinks about you." Harry teased, not really moving much as Niall shoved him with his elbow, a bit mad at himself for having reacted so heavily. Just… that would've really gone a bit too far, even if people he didn't care about were involved. "It's fine, sorry, I was only kidding, yeah? Thanks for asking Louis to follow me."

"No problem… " Niall grumbled, taking the apology like that because it was the best he would ever get anyways. 

They sat next to each other in silence for a while then, Niall purposely ignored his phone, eating his cereal as slowly as possible and ignoring Harry's happy outburst when he announced that Louis had messaged him back on his own account and that he remembered giving him the VIP passes. Amazing.

It was probably good half an hour later before Niall unlocked his phone again, cereal bowl now empty and Harry luckily having moved back onto his half of the couch, his grin still big even though Niall knew that he had long stopped talking to Louis. Well, at least one of them was happy now, maybe now Harry finally had what he wanted and could get off Niall's back.

The thing was, Niall didn't actually care, but somehow he was curious as he opened his twitter app once more, briefly reading through the messages Harry had exchanged with Louis, a little bit impressed by how perfectly his best friend could imitate him through simple messages.

Louis' very last message had stayed unanswered for at least 30 minutes now, maybe Niall should've felt rude, but then again, he was a college student, maybe he had a lecture or something, you never knew, right? 

 

_so your friend… hes like a proper fan huh?_

 

Well, not really, Harry was just interested in celebrities and that kinda shit, plus Niall didn't wanna feed Louis' ego too much. Then again though, his best friend had a bit too much knowledge about all of these people and he had been a bit too eager to get that follow, so… 

 

_yeah, i guess. almost shit himself when you followed him_

 

Just to tease Harry a bit, Niall smirked to himself after sending the message, he wasn't really planning on having a real conversation with Louis or anything, actually, he was about to put his phone down and turn the telly on, not expecting the older lad to answer right away yet again, but it almost seemed like he had been waiting for it or something. And honestly, that next message did cause a slightly weird feeling to rise in the depth of Niall's stomach.

 

_well, if you give me your college address or somethin, ill send him an autograph. and maybe a signed liam cd for you ;)_

 

————

 

 

Liam was mad at Louis.

More, he was actually quite furious just thinking about his best friend these days. Like, yeah, he hadn't exactly been _forced_ to sleep with this college kid, but… he also hadn't really asked Louis to go and find him potential hook ups and then shove them to sit right next to him and let them convince him to get drunk with them and take them back to his hotel room and oh god… Liam had had a fucking one night stand with a 19 year old for crying out loud. And Louis' constant 'He said he's almost 20' didn't exactly make things better.

It's not like Liam didn't know why this had happened, or why Louis had brought Niall over to sit with them, he had wanted this to happen, had actually been more than just happy when Liam had banged on his door to yell at him half an hour after the blonde had left the hotel with a ton of love bites covering his neck. But that still didn't mean that Liam had any positive feelings towards any of this.

Maybe it was the fact that Liam's last serious relationship was one and a half years in the past and that he was sick of the 'how come you're still single' questions in interviews, or that he had actually asked Louis to come on tour with him, at least for a few weeks, just so that he wouldn't feel that lonely. Like sure, there was crew and everyone, the band, his family would visit, but it didn't mean that Liam wouldn't occasionally feel a bit homesick and lonely. It's just… sometimes it just sucked to not really have someone there with him, or someone to call at all times. 

Which was also why Liam couldn't be THAT mad at Louis, he was just trying to help after all and he wasn't too bad at it either usually. Niall wasn't a fan after all, it had been quite refreshing, just normally talking to someone who had so little clue about who Liam was that it had almost been offensive. But he had been nice, funny and a bit cocky, plus he was rather good looking and from what Liam could remember, they had both enjoyed themselves. So who was he to complain, right?

Well, first of all, Liam had never had a one night stand before. Two, he didn't normally get that extremely smashed. Three, he couldn't just go about fucking random people and then risk ending up on front page with it. And finally four, he wasn't actually that good at talking to strangers, like fans were an exception of course, but normal people he didn't know, Liam wasn't really comfortable with that. 

So yeah, getting Niall basically shoved right into his face had caused him to panic a little bit inside, or waking up next to him snoring, both of them naked, Liam still hadn't gotten over it even though it had been days ago. One thing was for sure though, Liam wasn't gonna go out with Louis again any time soon.

"Liam, you got thirty minutes before you'll have to be on stage, alright?" Nodding as a sign that he had understood, Liam didn't look up from his phone, trying his best to distract himself a little bit, he had played to bigger crowds, but sometimes he'd still feel a little bit nervous before a show. Even if he knew that that feeling would quickly turn into excitement once he was out there, it didn't mean that he didn't feel slightly sick to his stomach at the thought.

Liam had about five minutes to himself before Louis came strolling into his dressing room, finally having changed out of his sweatpants he had borrowed from Liam as he fell into the empty space next to the younger man, pocketing his phone before nudging him with his elbow. "Excited?"

"Yeah, I guess. Not much different than last night, right? Same city." Shrugging, Liam hoped that his best friend couldn't see his slightly shaky hands as he scrolled through his messages, not really wanting to text his mum back right now with Louis right next to him. He was just gonna do it after the concert, maybe call her as well, they hadn't talked in a few days.

"But I swear they get louder every night though. And it's sold out tonight, isn't it?" It was actually, Liam had been so proud of that, even if it hadn't been the first time, but… he was probably never gonna get quite used to his success. "I think I won't watch from the side today and actually go down, don't think anyone's gonna recognize me anyways."

"Of course they will, they always do. Just don't take all the attention, yeah?" Liam joked, hoping his chuckle didn't sound too nervous, but maybe it was a bit calming to think that he'd have someone to look at that he knew, just in case anything went wrong or so, he knew he probably wouldn't be thinking about this anymore once he was on stage, but it was still a little bit calming. 

"Gonna be hard for me, but I'll try for you, Payno." They laughed for a second before Louis's phone vibrated a bit too loudly, causing the older lad to immediately fish it out of his pockets, a grin forming on his face as he checked whatever message he had gotten. "You know what, Li… I didn't wanna tell you just in case it wouldn't happen, but I got a really great surprise for you."

"Um, what surprise?" Trying to catch a look on Louis' screen since it had obviously to do with it, Liam was about two seconds too slow before his friend had already locked his phone, grinning a bit mischievously as their eyes met. Okay, maybe Liam didn't want to know after all.

"Just wait and see, yeah? You might hate me for a little bit, but I promise it's gonna pass." He DEFINITELY didn't want to know.

"Lou… what did you do? I swear to god, if this is another one of your tries to hook me up with someone then you're flying home tomorrow." Well, maybe that wasn't really for Liam to decide and also not what he wanted, but Louis just started laughing like an idiot anyways, completely ignoring the fact that Liam suddenly felt a huge urge to strangle him. Shit, why'd he have to make him extra nervous right before a show?!

"Don't ruin your skinny jeans, Li, the girls wouldn't appreciate that. I promise it's a good surprise, okay? Just trust me, I'm your best friend, I know what's good for you." Okay, now, this was going into a very worrying direction, Liam was up and about to just leave and clear his mind a bit before he had to be on stage, or more like, before he would commit a murder backstage. "And I also know you're still mad because of the college boy, but-"

"Yeah, I _am_ still mad about that. I can't believe you actually thought that you needed to properly introduce us? And that a one night stand would, I don't know, cheer me up or something? I don't need any cheering up, I'm fine." Well, something like that at least, Liam probably shouldn't have freaked out that much but he couldn't help it, whenever that topic came up now, it got him slightly angry, especially while seeing how amused Louis was about the whole thing.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, Li. Not my fault you had sex with him though, is it? And you said yourself that he was cute and nice, plus we know where his college is and his full name, so if you ever feel like-"

"I have to go on stage now, see you afterwards." Or not, considering how many dangerous objects they had lying around backstage, Liam really didn't think it would be clever to be around Louis for the next few hours. 

"Li, come on, mate, I was just joking, yeah? I didn't mean for you to get so angry, how was I supposed to know that boy is a proper slut?" He stopped Liam mid walk, grabbing his arm to turn him back around and the younger man just sighed before freeing himself from Louis' grip, breathing in a bit harshly in order to calm himself, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Don't call him a slut, Lou, you don't even know the kid, he was just excited to be there and he was absolutely smashed. And yeah, I know, but still… I don't need your help with those kinda things, alright? I… " And then Liam hesitated, because this wasn't something he had told Louis before but it was also part of his anger, more towards himself though because he was very aware that he couldn't blame this on everyone else. "I just… it feels wrong, you know? I know the boy… I know Niall wanted to, but I still somehow feel bad, if that makes sense? It feels like I used him or something, he clearly had more to drink than me and I… I kinda feel bad and I hate it."

"Li… I'm sure you have no reason to feel bad, you didn't force him or anything, you'd never do that, we both know that. And he even told you he has one night stands all the time, didn't he? I'm sure he's fine." Louis was right, Liam knew he was, he appreciated his friend's voice having gone softer, the slight sarcasm having disappeared from it, but it still didn't make him feel completely at ease. "Plus, he said he couldn't even remember and that didn't seem to bother him either, so."

"Yeah, well… but I remember, partly at least." Not all of it of course, but Liam did remember it up to the point where they had gotten to his room, the grinding in the bar and the snogging that hopefully no one had seen. But the actual thing had huge junks missing as well and maybe Liam was a bit glad about that, he did have some flashing images sometimes though, of Niall's smooth, pale skin and his swollen, parted lips, moaning Liam's name, and… yeah. "Anyways, I really do have to go now, still gotta get my in ears. I'll see you after, okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Have fun, Li, yeah? Smash it." Louis' smile seemed real before he pulled Liam into a hug, holding him for just a bit, giving him a comfortable squeeze before releasing him and letting him go. Sometimes it was really hard to be mad at him. 

Liam still had time before he had to go for real, he made sure to send out some tweets, get the fans a bit hyped up before deciding that he could as well post the selfie he had taken in bed this morning, smiling a bit as he scrolled through the comments.

The whole surprise thing didn't exactly help with Liam's nervousness though, like, he did feel good the second he stepped out on stage for the first song, immediately feeling the knot in his stomach loosening, trying to block everything out that wasn't happening in the here and now. He was just not gonna look at where he knew Louis and a few of his other friends were standing, a bit away from the seats in the aisle, pretend that they hadn't had a talk before. After all, these people were his fans and they had paid to see him, Liam owed them a good night. 

Everything went fine for about half of the songs, Liam was having a blast interacting with fans, reading the signs out loud, completely having forgotten about any bad feeling he had had about tonight or whatever Louis had told him before, he was just having the time of his life out there.

Well, that was until his eyes fell onto the one person he would have never expected to see again, not only at one of his own concerts but in general. Louis Tomlinson was a dead man.

Conveniently enough, Liam was just holding a speech, there was lots of screaming and he was more than just in his element, looking through the crowd, smiling, his face probably plastered on the big screen, for everyone to see, and also film, right at the second his entire face froze and he almost fell over his own feet, words getting stuck in his throat.

It was Niall.

Not only was the blonde here, but he was also really close to the stage, tickets he would have never gotten had he tried to buy them so late and Liam was 100% convinced that that boy had had no bloody idea who he had been 5 days ago. Plus he was sitting down as the only one, and he was on his fucking phone, not paying attention in any way, as if he was bored to death and had been forced by someone to come here. He probably had.

"I… " Liam was panicking as he lost his trail of thoughts, eyes still stuck on Niall, not noticing anybody else anymore, not even finding Louis as he desperately searched for him, somehow feeling the need to get rid of that death glare he was saving for his best friend. "Thank you all so much again for, uh… for coming, I really appreciate it and you guys are the reason for all of this, so please do sing along for the next song if you know the lyrics."

Shit, Liam had absolutely messed it up, he knew he had sounded distracted, knew that tons of people had filmed him almost falling over his own feet and he basically had to tear his eyes away from the blonde boy in the crowd, who hadn't looked up at him just one single time. It was like Liam had woken up in a nightmare or something.

Basically all Liam did for the rest of the concert was trying to make up for his slip, interacting with even more fans and feeling slightly bad for those who had their seats near Niall because he wouldn't have gone over there had his life depended on it.

Why the fuck had Louis done that? And how was that a surprise in any way? It's like he was teasing Liam and rubbing it into his face, what did he think would come out of this, that they'd get married or something?! Yeah, right, Liam was definitely gonna marry a 19 year old college student who had about as much interest in him as in a piece of bread. How had Louis convinced him to come here? How had he even fucking gotten in touch with him?!

Coming off stage, Liam's face slipped the second no camera could catch his expression anymore, he was sweaty, feeling more than just hot and he was so bothered and angry that he almost snapped at the guy helping him to get his in ears off. He just wanted to go back to the hotel now and go to sleep, not face Louis or anyone else anymore, because as he knew his best friend, he had probably also told Niall that he could sleep over at his place or something, this was literally fucking insane, they didn't even know this boy!

"Have you seen Louis?" Liam made sure to immediately stop one of the bodyguards, feeling almost slightly relieved when he got a simple 'no'. Maybe not everything was lost just yet.

Actually, Liam didn't see Louis anywhere at all, he did see Andy though but only for a second or something, they barely even talked before Liam had already gotten his stuff from the dressing room, fumbling with his car keys as he briefly said goodbye to a few crew members, hope growing inside of him. Maybe he had just had hallucinations or something, maybe it hadn't even been Niall, it had been 5 days ago, there was a great possibility he had forgotten what he looked like, right?

Much to Liam's surprise, nothing at all happened as he drove back to the hotel, by himself, he had his own car here but they weren't in London anymore so driving back home would've taken way too long. At least tonight he had no fans following him and running over the streets, it wasn't exactly that he was worried that they'd find his hotel because they already knew it anyways, it was just that he was slightly worried about their safety. That was just Liam though, as Louis always said, he cared too much about other people's well being and too little about his own.

There was a message on Liam's phone as he got out of the car and made his way through the back entrance of the hotel, and other than expected, it wasn't from Louis but rather one of his other friends, nothing mentioned of a weird 'surprise' or anything, as if it had just been a product of Liam's fantasy. 

 

_sick show mate! you comin down to the hotel bar in a bit?_

 

Right, they had agreed that they'd celebrate Liam's last night here, he wasn't gonna go off to America just yet, but he would soon and his friends weren't gonna come along for that. Sure, he'd fly them out a few times, and his family, but it wouldn't make up to having them around him every day of course. Somehow that was slightly scary.

Liam took a shower and changed before going down to the bar, he wasn't really planning on staying too long as he was both tired and also not too keen on seeing Louis right now. If THIS had been the surprise then he was going to kill his best friend, and if it hadn't been, then Liam really didn't need yet another reason to get violent thoughts. 

"Li! We're over here!" There were a few people down in the bar, other hotel guests, who had no idea who they all were though so that was alright, Liam really had had enough for today as he made his way over to his friends, quickly scanning their faces, making sure Louis wasn't there. "Hey, why'd you disappear so quickly after it was over?"

"I'm just tired… I won't stay long anyways, was a long day. Where's Louis?" Just to be sure, Liam took a seat, ordering himself a beer before being left by clueless faces and a few shrugs. This wasn't good.

"No idea, haven't seen him that much today anyways, think he left like three songs before the end or something. Maybe he's tired too." Definitely not. "Anyways, there's something I wanted to ask you."

"What?" Liam was slightly confused, not really able to concentrate that well either because of obvious reasons, but he tried to pretend that he was giving his friend full attention as he pulled out his phone, obviously searching for something before turning the screen towards Liam. Oh god, not this again.

"Have you read this? Pretty fuckin' nasty article." It was indeed, Liam didn't even have to read the whole headline before he already had to sigh, shaking his head a bit, slight anger at himself rising as he thought about how much of his own fault it was that that article had even been written in the first place. Well, that was the consequence of being somewhat honest in interviews. "They're talking like you're gonna die alone and as a virgin just because you've been single for a bit."

"I know. They barely left anything else I said in, and then you know that one time I went out with Louis and we were both pretty smashed, like, 2 months ago? They mentioned that as well, as if I have drinking problems or something. It's really annoying, like, I swear to god, I'll make sure they aren't allowed to ask questions about this anymore." Of course it was somehow a way to keep a few fans if Liam stayed singled, even more since he was openly bi, and yet somehow the media LOVED to take that story apart, misinterpreting every one of Liam's words and facial expressions.

"Maybe you really need t' date someone, only for a while, I'm sure that'd shut them up." Another one of Liam's friends threw in, causing the brunette to shrug because really, he had no idea how or where he'd even find anyone he would want to be with. Yeah, it'd be nice to have everyone shut up and not interpret every one of his facial expressions as 'deeply depressed and lonely' or have his fans message him to remind him that he was loved and that he please shouldn't think he was alone. Sometimes he was depressed and lonely, sure, but wasn't everyone?

"Yeah, I don't know, I'm just ignoring it to be honest, it's not like I care what they say, right? Doesn't affect me anyways." A little bit maybe, but Liam forced himself to laugh before hiding his face behind his glass, slightly annoyed that he now had something else on his mind to worry about. This definitely needed to stop. "You guys wanna have something else to drink? It's on me."

That always helped to lift the mood and change the topic, Liam really did his best to distract his friends from then on, made sure to crack a few jokes and keep the conversation light, desperately trying to enjoy and distract himself. And it would have worked after a while, maybe, if only…

"Oh, there's Louis!" Right at the mentioning of his best friend's name, Liam felt himself freezing up, grip around his glass tightening and somehow he could already sense it before even having turned around, he just _knew_. And then he suddenly had conformation. "Wait… who are the other two? Looks like the blonde boy from that bar we went to."

That was it, Liam was gonna arrange Louis' funeral tomorrow, his face was blank though as he turned in his chair, trying his best to appear somehow surprised. He couldn't just get up and leave, Niall knew who he was now, he needed to keep this completely neutral and handle it a bit more professional. Plus that other boy Louis had dragged along seemed way too excited for both himself and Niall. Sweet Jesus.

"Hey, guys. You still know Niall?" How could they have not after what Louis had pulled off at the bar, but Liam forced himself to smile as his and Niall's eyes met, the blonde's facial expression so bored that Liam almost felt himself getting nervous again. Why was this always happening, Niall had such a clear disinterest towards Liam that the brunette almost felt shy, like, he wasn't even mad at Niall for coming, his only anger went towards Louis and no one else. He didn't need his best friend to play match maker. "And that's Harry, his best friend, who, Liam, thinks that every song I've written for you is an absolute masterpiece."

"Hey, Harry, nice to meet you." That Harry guy was taller than Niall, and he was wearing a really awful shirt, at least giving Liam some reason to smile at him, trying to be nice here, not as if he was plotting a murder. "You alright? Hope you didn't push Louis' ego too much." 

"I-"

"Oh, he totally did, knew all of the songs by heart and shit… can I get a beer? Thanks." Niall couldn't have cared less where he was or with who, Liam was actually a bit impressed as the blonde simply sat down next to him as there was no space on the other end, ordering himself something to drink before taking his phone out. He almost seemed to want to be here even less than Liam. 

"I didn't know _all_ of them by heart." Harry tried to defend himself and Liam felt like he suddenly understood the whole situation as he saw the boy's face lightening up as as soon as Louis smiled at him. Well. 

"I won't be mad if you do." Louis joked, making Harry sit down next to Niall before taking a seat himself, his eyes meeting Liam's, face happy as ever even as the younger man attempted to kill him with a look. "I invited them to come watch the show, I wasn't sure if they'd be able to make it though so I didn't tell you."

That explanation seemed more than unnecessary, Liam had already thought of that story by himself and he had to try his very hardest to keep on smiling, feeling a few goosebumps rising on his arms as Niall accidentally brushed their thighs together, eyes still glued on his phone. "You sent them tickets?"

"Yeah, I found Niall on twitter and we talked a bit and I thought maybe they'd wanna come." Amazing, great, Liam should have really paid more attention to Louis' twitter activities because this was outrageous. How could he have ever thought that inviting Liam's one night stand to Liam's own concert would end well?!

"Niall didn't want to come, I almost had to drag him to the train station." The Harry guy threw in, obviously very trained at avoiding Niall's elbow because he did so without a problem, his cheeks were flushed but he was grinning big, giving Liam a very clear explanation on how this whole thing had gone down. Harry was probably a fan or something, or at least knew Liam and Louis and he had forced Niall to go with him, however he had managed to do that because the blonde seemed to hate every single second of this. Why exactly was Liam bothering that, he should've been glad to be honest.

"Just not my type of music, sorry." Niall shrugged before taking a big gulp of beer while Liam pretended not to be staring, he didn't have much to look at though because his other friends probably had too many questions for Liam to answer. Well, they weren't the only ones. "Like, no offense, but I had no idea who any of you were 5 days ago, but Harry's like… a proper fan of Louis and I thought he would be happy if I agreed to Louis sending him an autograph. Couldn't have known he'd send two tickets as well, right? I actually wanted to sell them but-"

"You wanted to sell the free tickets I sent you?!" Louis seemed honestly hurt by that and Liam bit his tongue so he wouldn't have to laugh at him, a little bit glad that his best friend wasn't only having a good time here.

"Um, yeah… " For a moment, Niall seemed to feel bad or something, but then he simply shrugged, ignoring the way Harry almost seemed to be embarrassed for his friend. "I'm fuckin' broke, sorry. If Harry hadn't promised me that I wouldn't have to ever get him a birthday present again if I went with him, I would've stayed home for sure."

There it was, Niall had basically been forced to be here and Liam had literally no idea what he should have said. His one night stand was sitting right there next to him, giving no shit about who he was or what they had done a few days ago, all he seemed to care about was his beer. Shit, Liam really, _really_ , should have hated this boy's guts but he somehow couldn't, somehow he just ended up blurting out the dumbest thing in the entire world. "I saw you during the concert, you… you were sitting down and playing on your phone."

The only apologetic glance came from Harry, who, honestly, was sitting way too close to Louis, and Niall did look up to meet Liam's eyes, but there was no regret in them, he just simply looked at Liam, yet again giving half a shrug, corner of his mouth twitching a bit. "Sorry."

That was all he said, nothing else, Liam was speechless, like… what should he have said, honestly? This was almost getting offense and he was so fucking pissed off at Louis right now that he almost felt like crying for some reason. At least now he didn't have to feel bad anymore for having had a one night stand with this kid. "It's fine, I… I'll be outside for a second, I'm gonna go have a smoke."

And before anyone could reply, Liam had simply gotten up, ignoring the fact that he had stopped smoking half a year ago and that he didn't have a lighter or any cigarettes with him anyways, he just needed to get out of here and get some fresh air. 

It was cold without a jacket on but Liam didn't care as he stood next to the back entrance, trying to ignore the fact that fans could have walked by at any moment, honestly, maybe they would have even made him feel better at this point, even at an hour like this. Something was definitely wrong with him.

There was no doubt what Louis' plan was, he was trying so hard to play match maker between Niall and Liam that it hurt, and yeah, maybe he HAD found the perfect guy, someone who gave 0 fucks about Liam's fame, someone who didn't care what people thought about him, who was funny and yeah, also quite good looking, but… that didn't mean anything, right? 

Niall was clearly not interested and Liam wasn't either, like sure, it would've maybe been a bit convenient for him to be in a relationship, considering all these stupid articles and the fact that Liam kinda wanted to be someone's boyfriend really badly, but… it wouldn't have worked out between them, no way. This was fucking ridiculous and Louis had definitely gone insane.

Minutes passed and Liam had to shove his hands deep down into his pockets so his fingers wouldn't fall off, he was trying to move a bit in order to get warmer but it barely helped. Only good thing was that Liam's brain seemed to somehow freeze a little bit as well because the cold quickly became the only thing he could concentrate on, he was seconds from going back inside and heading to his room when the door suddenly opened again. God no.

It was Niall, for some reason, who had come looking for Liam and had the brunette not been half dead out here already, he would have probably told him to leave again. "Hey… you alright?"

"I'm fine." Liam somehow managed to not shiver too much while speaking, a little jealous when he saw Niall's zipped up jacket under the only, dim light that they had above them, the door falling closed behind the blonde as he nodded a bit.

"Louis said that… that you don't even smoke." Right, fuck Louis.

"Yeah, I just… just needed some air, is all." Better admit it, somehow Liam felt a bit flushed talking to Niall, all alone and both of them sober, maybe it was the boy's confidence that made him feel almost shy because Niall wasn't intimidating in any other way. He was a lot shorter than Liam, obviously younger, his hair was dyed blonde and his face still had a bit of baby fat here and there. Right, now Liam felt bad again for that one night stand. 

"Okay." Nodding again, Niall was obviously checking Liam out for a second, forcing the older to lower his eyes in embarrassment, even if he felt more than dumb for it. And then even more after what Niall did next. "Here, I'm not that cold anyways, looks like you're gonna die."

"Wh- no, I…. you really don't have to do that." He was seriously taking off his jacket, despite Liam's protests and god, this was so fucking strange and embarrassing but it was also a really nice gesture and really, Liam didn't even know anymore what to think. "You can keep it, I-"

"Bullshit, here. Might be a bit small on you, but I guess it's better than nothing." There was the hint of a smile as Niall held his jacket towards Liam, he was wearing a long sleeved shirt unlike the other man, not shivering the tiniest bit. "Come on, my arm's gonna fall off."

"I… alright… thank you." Liam had no choice really but to take the jacket, also because he WAS almost dying, but his cheeks were on fire as he slipped into the piece of clothing, immediately feeling himself warming up, his stomach twisting into knots though. Thank god it was dark outside. "Just tell me if-"

"It's fine, Liam, I swear. Fits you better than expected, actually." It didn't, Niall's chuckle was proof of that, he wasn't only smaller but also a lot less muscly, so Liam probably looked like a joke in that jacket. Then again, nothing could have made this situation more awkward anyways. "So… I kinda figured I should explain this to you, maybe."

"Explain what?" Because there were about 100 things Liam would have liked an answer to, but he couldn't really think of only one while looking into Niall's blue eyes, trying to somehow ignore the boy's cologne stuck on his jacket. 

"The whole situation kind of, since Louis obviously didn't tell you anything." Shrugging, Niall finally turned his head away, kicking at some small stone by his feet, his breath turning into smoke because of how cold it was outside. "Just so you know, I had no clue who you were until I told Harry about our night. And he made me google you and all that shit. Turns out he also knows, or loves more like, Louis and he followed him on my twitter without telling me. So then Louis followed me back and Harry was all over me begging me to ask him to follow him as well and he did. And… well, Harry's my best friend and I felt bad that I didn't like, I don't know, introduced him to Louis and shit, so I gave Louis our address when he offered to send an autograph, which he did, but alongside with two tickets to your concert and well,… Harry can be a real fucking pain in the ass when he wants something, you know?"

"Yeah, well… he's not very, uh… subtle about being a fan." Probably even less now that he was all alone with Louis and their friends, but Liam wasn't worrying too much, they were all brilliant with these kinda things, had had enough training. "So he basically… forced you to come here?"

"Something like that yeah. Like… I'm sorry that I was sitting down and playing on my phone, it's just… it's not my type of music, as I said. And I just really didn't want to make a huge thing out of this between me and Harry, I swear none of us has told anything to anyone, not that they'd believe us, but yeah. I would've forgotten about our one night stand two days later but Harry kept hanging onto it and he even tried to get me to buy your CD and I just… I just really don't care. Like, you're a nice guy and all, but… I wouldn't have come if it hadn't been for Harry." Well, even though Liam had sort of known all that before, it still gave him a sting, not that he cared what Niall thought about him personally, it's just, he was too sensitive for these kinda conversations. 

"I know, I… it's fine, don't worry. I just… this is all weird for me because I've, um… I've never, uh, had a one night stand before and I… I'm not the type to either but Louis' been trying to hook me up with someone really badly and… he's kinda a bit obsessed with the idea of… you know, um… " Shit, this was so hard, Liam felt like a right idiot while staring at his feet, fighting with his words like he almost never had to, his hands probably not only shaking because of the coldness anymore. Why did Niall have such an effect on him, just because they had had sex?

"Of you and me? Yeah, that's not very easy to overlook." Niall let out a laugh that gave Liam chills, but when he spoke again his voice had gotten more serious again, somehow a little bit softer as well though, as if he knew that Liam was a bit too easily hurt with words. "Why is that though?"

Right, this was the point where Liam should have just shut his mouth and maybe not told a basically stranger his secrets. Then again, as Niall had said more than once, he didn't care about who Liam was and he probably was only asking out of being polite, not because he cared. So naturally, Liam just blurted out with it. "Well… I haven't really had a relationship in ages and… as you can maybe imagine, the media loves to talk about that. And it's not that I care that much just… it gets lonely on tour and stuff, or in general whenever I show up to events, and I do have my friends with me sometimes and my family, but… it's not really the same and people love to talk about it as well. I'm just… really the type to be someone's boyfriend I guess, and buy them stuff and all that and Louis knows that of course, so… he's been trying really hard to help me out or whatever and I know he's just trying to be nice, but… "

"Doesn't always work the way it should." Niall finished for him, Liam didn't dare looking at him, kinda hating himself for having told the blonde, then again though, what did it matter really? "Look, I… I'm not really looking for a relationship or anything, even though Harry's convinced I need one, but I don't. And I really don't wanna hurt you or anything, I'm just not the type to be someone's boyfriend, you know? And all of this has… turned into a huge mess and I'm really sorry if I'm disappointing you or anything, I never wanted that, I just wanted to have a good night, that was all." 

"No, no, you didn't, I… I wasn't ever thinking that me and you… that we'd ever, you know, it's just Louis and… anyways, it's fine, you didn't hurt me or anything, we're on the same page, don't worry." Liam's eyes had almost fallen out hearing this, stumbling over his words as he hurried to explain, like… what the hell, he had NEVER ever thought about him and Niall in a way like this, they didn't even know each other for crying out loud.

"Okay, good." The boy seemed seriously relieved now and Liam almost got angry again had he not had such problems with his emotions around the blonde, he could still barely look at him now without feeling himself blushing and getting nervous. Fuck, Liam had just talked in front of thousands of people and he couldn't handle a simple conversation?! "I mean… if you feel bad about the one night stand though, we could just do it again and then it wouldn't have been one."

"I… what?!" Had he just… 

"I'm just kidding, Liam, calm down." Niall's laughter was way too loud but Liam didn't dare shushing him, his hands were shaking even worse now, heart bumping fast as he tried to recover from this. Had this boy seriously offered to have sex with him, _again_?! "Like, I mean… it was a joke, but I wouldn't be opposed to it, you're good looking and all, and you're nice, I've had much worse guys. And girls, too, to be honest."

"Is… is that a compliment?" Liam wasn't sure what to think or say, he couldn't believe Niall was just saying these things in a normal voice, as if they were talking about the weather or something. 

"I guess it is, yeah. I don't know… I do feel a bit bad now, the people I usually sleep with care as little about it as me, and they're also not looking for something more or beating themselves up over it. Like, being in your position, I can imagine it's hard to really meet someone you can trust and someone who'd wanna be with _you_ instead of… of your celebrity you, you know." Well… yeah, Niall was totally right, but Liam was speechless, actually looking at the blonde now, hoping his mouth wasn't hanging open because he had no idea how to close it. "So, I don't know if I should offer this, but… if there's anything I can do to help make you feel better then just tell me."

"What… what exactly do you mean?" HOW was he planning on making Liam feel better exactly? This was literally going way too far but Liam had no idea how to stop Niall from talking or from thinking that the boy was being incredibly nice and understanding, just… if this was what he thought it was then it was fucking _insane_.

Niall took a breath before answering, turning his head then to look straight at Liam, his expression undefinable. "I mean it just like that, Liam, as I said, you're nice and good looking and we both know I've had sex with a lot of people and will continue to do that. And if you ever feel lonely or something then I could… help, maybe. Because I don't care who you are or what's in the media about you and I definitely won't tell anyone, I just… feel bad for you, is all."

"You mean you… " Oh god. "Niall, I… this is… really nice but I don't really-"

"It's fine, Liam, no one's forcing you." He laughed again, all carefree, as if he hadn't just offered Liam to… yeah, what exactly had he offered? Sex? A friendship?! "I mean, you know where I live and how to reach me, if you ever wanted to. I won't be sad if you don't, it's just a simple offer, nothing else, doesn't even have to involve sex, but if you wanna talk or so, I'm pretty good at that."

"But… but why… why'd you do this?" He didn't seem like the kinda person to offer that really, which was why Liam was so stunned, not only because a 19 year old had just offered him that they could have sex whenever Liam felt like it, but also because he had offered to… to listen?

"I know what it's like to… feel lonely, you know. My family's a bit shit and the only person I can really talk to is Harry and I was thinking maybe you sometimes wanna talk to someone who's far away from all of your fame and that. Just a thought, like, wouldn't exactly bother me if we talked once a while or whatever, you know?" His complete honesty left Liam at a loss of words, once again, Niall just shrugged, as if he had had no problem admitting any of this, as if this was a normal thing for him to offer every day. He might have been a bit overly confident and a tiny bit rude, but he seemed to really be a good person at heart. "Just think about it, yeah? The offer isn't running out or anything. I think I'll go back inside now though, before Harry reads Louis a self written poem or something, just give me the jacket back before we leave, okay?"

And then he turned to go, not waiting for an answer but sending Liam another quick smile, his cheeks all red and flushed now from the cold before he turned his face around, hand already on the door handle while the brunette man was still frozen on the spot, not being able to believe what he had just heard and witnessed. And maybe the weirdness of the situation didn't make Liam's sudden outburst that awkward after all. "Wait, I… can I have your number?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good news! i have internet at my dorm now so im gonna try to update regularly!


	3. Chapter 3

One month of texting, that's basically all it took for Niall to somehow consider Liam a friend. Maybe one he didn't see or care that much about, but he had definitely told the older man some strange bullshit while being hammered at a few parties. Which couldn't have been said the other way around really because apparently, Liam didn't go out to drink all that often.

It had been weird after Harry had dragged him to that concert weeks ago, had paid for the train all by himself because Niall had refused to even spend one pound on seeing Liam or Louis. (Well for the train there at least because, alright, Niall had taken the money when Liam had told him he was gonna pay for their train back, they were just really broke.)

Furthermore, Niall also hadn't really thought that Louis was THAT desperate to play match maker between himself and Liam, hadn't really understood why a _celebrity_ needed one of his friends to do that, but it had all become pretty clear when he had had his private talk with Liam.

He wasn't really sure why he had offered all of this to Liam when he hadn't even known him. Then again though, it's not like Niall was bothered texting Liam, he texted tons of other people as well, one more or less wasn't really making the difference here, he just really HAD felt bad for Liam that night. But then of course also, Niall really wouldn't have minded hooking up with Liam again, preferably not if Harry was right there and would've known, but turned out Liam wasn't the type for that anyways. Or maybe he was and he just didn't know it yet.

Point was, Niall had forgotten about most of these things again, hadn't even once bothered to read anything in the media about Liam, for him it was just like texting one of his friends, really, even if Harry (of course) had interpreted the whole damn thing completely wrong.

"How's Liam?" It had been a normal thing for Harry to ask, of course with no other purpose than to try and somehow get any kind of detail out of Niall he possibly could. Unsurprisingly, Niall had kept his mouth shut for a whole month, there was literally nothing exciting to tell, but Harry didn't have to know, did he?

"Why don't you ask Louis?" Not really bothering to look up, Niall kept staring at the laptop screen, trying to figure out if he was really just dumb or if he maybe should have gone to more than only two maths classes.

"Because it'd be weird? And then he'd think I only care about Liam." Snorting, Niall decided to skip that problem and go to the next one, just to be disappointed yet again when he had no clue what the question even meant. Well, shit. 

"When we met Louis after the concert you stared at him as if he was god himself and then you couldn't even properly say your name and you almost asked him to sign your fucking wallet, I think he knows you're only after him and no one else." It had almost been embarrassing really, introducing Harry to Louis, but Louis had been good at handling it and Niall had been a little bit happy for his best friend during the whole train ride home. Apparently Louis was even greater than Harry could have ever imagined and they still talked on twitter or something, Niall wasn't sure, but he also didn't really care. Much unlike the other way around.

"That's not even true, Ni, I was just excited, okay? Besides, I can't just randomly ask him that, I'm not talking to Louis as much as you're talking to Liam." Maybe that was true, but Niall just shrugged anyways, trying to pretend that he was busier with his maths problems than he actually was while lying on Harry's bed, using his laptop as well. 

"I'm not talking to him 24/7, just sometimes. I don't know why you would even care anyways, just google him or look at his twitter or something." To be honest, Niall couldn't even remember what Liam's twitter was, like, why would he have to know that, right? Half of the time he tended to forget that Liam was a celebrity as well, and maybe some would have called this pure ignorance, but Niall genuinely wasn't doing it on purpose whenever he asked Liam why he was whining about not being able to leave his hotel room in the middle of the day.

"But are you talking to him right now?" Harry kept pushing, as if this was essential for him to know right now, causing the blonde to groan as he closed his best friend's laptop after not understanding yet another maths problem.

"No, I'm not, Harry, I'm just lying here, do I look like I'm on my phone right now? I'm not. Just let it be, okay, Liam's just a normal person like any of our friends, nothing more." Literally, he did text like someone from college as well, counting by the spelling mistakes and all. "And I also don't have a weird crush on him or whatever goes through your mind whenever you think of Louis and we only exchanged numbers because he asked me and then also texted me first, you know that, so let's drop it."

Obviously not satisfied by that answer, Harry just shook his head at Niall before attempting to stuff even more of his clothes into his already overfilled suitcase, as if going home for a few days would require him to take this much. They were on break since today, not for long, but Harry was still gonna go home, he had offered Niall to come of course, like always, but the blonde had declined, first of all not feeling like packing up his stuff, but then of course, being back at home, he would've run danger meeting his own dad in the streets. The last person he would have wanted to see and besides, there probably was a party he could go to tomorrow.

"That's not gonna fit, Haz. Do you need me to sit on top of it?" After having watched for a while, Niall slowly sat up, worriedly watching as Harry was attempting to close the zipper, already expecting it all to explode or something. 

"No, I… HA, did it, see? I'm better at packing than you thought." Not really, Harry's suitcase looked a bit deformed but Niall guessed that it was probably gonna hold, for now at least. "You gonna help me get it downstairs though, right? I still got my other stuff as well."

"Yeah, sure, as long as you don't let me do it by myself. Good luck getting that into the train." Because Niall was definitely not gonna come along for that, he had… things to do, places to be, naps to take before going out tonight and it was only 12 pm or something, pretty early considering they had had no classes today. "I hope your mum won't be too sad if her favorite doesn't come home as well."

"Shut up, Nialler, you're not my mum's favorite." But he still laughed as he softly shoved a chuckling Niall, right after the blonde had gotten up. "Actually… can you just carry my laptop and my backpack? I'll try to take my suitcase."

"Yeah, alright… but go downstairs before me, no need for both of us to die." Niall joked but somehow there was some real worry hidden behind that, plus Harry wasn't the most… talented person if it came to these kinda things.

"I'm not gonna die, Niall, it's not even that heavy." Which was probably very easy for him to say seeing as he could roll it over the floor while they were still inside his dorm but Niall was definitely not gonna watch Harry attempting to get that outside. "Or maybe I'm just really strong, I think it's that."

"Of course." Rolling his eyes, Niall yawned deeply while holding the door open for Harry, already fearing the cold outside they would have to face soon while waiting for Harry's bus. Maybe Niall could sneak away with an excuse, keep his fingers for a bit and not having them freeze off, that would be nice. "I'll make sure to send Louis an invitation to your funeral, don't worry."

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny, Niall. I totally got this." He totally didn't, but the blonde bit back that grin as he settled for watching that disaster evolve, briefly wondering if Harry's family would adopt him instead of his best friend in case of a bad outcome. Then again, they basically had, Niall wasn't quite sure how he would have not starved to death during high school had it not been for Harry's mum. 

Like expected, Harry took ages to get his suitcase downstairs and then outside to the street, which was a whole walk across the campus away. Niall decided he'd be a pretty shitty friend if he didn't walk or wait with Harry so that's what he did, all the way to the bus station, only feeling slightly bad for not having offered to take the suitcase for at least one third of the way. But Harry had made sure to pronounce his non existent strength, so there was that.

"That was pretty close, shit." They barely made it in the time for the bus to arrive, which had actually forced Niall to walk a bit faster and make sure the bus driver would wait for his slightly younger friend, who arrived about a minute after the blonde, face so red that Niall almost had to burst out laughing. "Not so strong after all, huh?"

"Shut up, Ni, better hug me goodbye instead of dumb jokes, we all know you're gonna be bored to death without me." Not really but maybe there was a little bit of truth as well, either way Niall didn't hesitate to hug Harry tightly before shoving the backpack and laptop into his hands. "Don't hook up with too many celebrities while I'm gone, okay? Or start dating them, who knows."

"I would say the same but you're not even talking to real celebrities, so." To be honest, Niall had no idea if Louis met the qualifications or not, all he knew was that he enjoyed Harry's slightly annoyed huff way too much as to really think about the fact that he had just almost bragged about knowing Liam. Not his fault though that his best friend would always bring it up. "Bye, Haz, kiss your mum for me."

There was nothing but an eye roll and a somewhat fond shove against Niall's shoulder before Harry got on, still waving though as Niall stepped back, smirking as he lifted his hand as well, deciding to wait until the bus had driven off. Yeah, as much as they teased each other, they still loved each other and honestly, Niall did feel a rather uneasy feeling settle in his stomach when he was left behind.

Not that he had no other friends, but he and Harry were definitely the closest, it felt a bit weird walking back all by himself now, not really having anything planned or anyone's dorm to randomly show up at. But it was fine, Niall had stayed behind by choice anyways, the weird feeling would pass. Plus, Harry had already written him a text message 10 minutes after leaving.

Since there was nothing to do and too much college work to catch up with that Niall saw no reason in starting in the first place, the blonde decided to not go back to his dorm yet but rather walk the short way across campus to that coffee place he knew a lot of people he knew would hang out at. He wasn't even that much of a coffee fan, but it was cheap and definitely better than being alone in his room, that wouldn't have been very Niall-like.

As expected, the place wasn't too crowded, but there were 2 guys from Niall's English class who immediately waved him over. It was nice to be so popular on campus really, Niall couldn't say that he had ever been working towards that goal but it had come naturally and he wasn't gonna complain.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Easily sitting down in the empty chair, Niall considered getting something to drink as well but let the idea go as soon as he remembered that he still had to buy something to eat today. 

"Not much, we were trying to study for the maths exam, but… " One of them shrugged and all of them laughed, clearly thinking the same exact thing. It was pointless. Maybe not as much for them as for Niall because he was probably the worst student this college had ever seen, but not above average either. "Where's Harry? Did he go home?"

"Yep, just a few minutes ago actually. Are you guys going home?" Everyone always asked about Harry whenever Niall showed up without him, he knew it was the same the other way around but neither of them minded really, it wasn't a secret after all, that they were best friends.

"Nah, my family wanted to go on holiday but ever since my mum married this weird dude I'm actually glad if I don't have to come home anymore. Which reminds me, did your dad stay with that chick you told us about? The one that's like half his age?" That question had come a bit unexpected but Niall didn't mind answering it, it just reminded him of how little he actually knew about what was going on with his dad or brother. Or mother, but that was somehow different.

"Could be, I haven't been home since then. I hope not, for her sake, she was pretty nice." Nice as in, Niall had talked to her once and wondered when his brother had left his girlfriend for someone else before he had found out and well… needless to say, he hadn't really felt the need to talk to her anymore after that. "I mean if he left her, he probably has someone else by now."

"Like father like son." The other one of Niall's friend joked and for just a second, Niall felt himself freeze, fist clenching just a tiny bit as he forced himself to smile, he knew what this was about, that no one could really understand the situation, they were simply talking about the obvious, but it still got him a bit angry. 

"Trust me, 'm not like my dad at all. And you better pray you'll never have to get proof because you wouldn't want to meet him." Leaning back a bit, Niall tried to internally calm himself down, it was no big deal really, he didn't even care. "Besides, he actually has relationships and I don't, so here you go."

"You're much better off without anyways, Nialler, I tell you what, this girl that lives in my building… " And then it went on like that and Niall started to only half listen, partly because he didn't care but also because he was still slightly upset about before. He wasn't like his dad and he never would be, that was one thing he knew for sure, plus no one even knew his dad anyways so they couldn't exactly make a comparison, right? There was nothing to even be angry about.

Luckily, Niall was pretty good at keeping a steady conversation even while texting Harry and a few other people, his attention only gone for a bit longer than usually when he suddenly got a messages by someone else who he may or may have not forgotten to text back last night.

 

_Liam 01:30 pm_

_heyyy… u awake?_

 

For a second, Niall almost had to laugh before remembering that Liam wasn't asking because he thought Niall was still asleep at a time like this but much more because he was genuinely asking if he was disturbing the blonde boy. Right, there was time difference in America and since Niall had no bloody idea where Liam even was, he also had no idea how much. 

 

_To Liam 01:32 pm_

_its in the middle of the day liam. what about you?_

 

Well, obviously he wasn't asleep, but Niall didn't know what else to say really, he also didn't wanna ask where exactly Liam was because he was pretty sure the older man had told him at least twice and it was starting to come off as pretty ignorant. 

Trying to somehow be part of the conversation again, Niall was still surprised when the next message took a bit longer, almost as if Liam had been thinking about it or as if he had had to build up courage because judging by the content, he probably had.

 

_Liam 01:40 pm_

_yeah… cant sleep anymore. can i call you?_

 

This was definitely new and it almost caused Niall to drop his phone, his heavy reaction maybe coming off as a bit inappropriate though considering that this wasn't a big deal at all. Maybe Liam was just too tired to text.

"And then I told her that-"

"I gotta go, sorry guys, I almost forgot the time. See you soon, yeah? At the party tomorrow?" Niall was a little bit relieved about having a reason to leave, the conversation was getting pretty boring and at least now he had something to do, even if it was slightly weird that Liam wanted to call him, but Niall still sent him a message telling him to go ahead, even before slipping his jacket back on.

"Yeah… yeah, sure, Niall, see you." They were understandably confused, but Niall barely even noticed or cared, all that was on his mind now was that Harry could NEVER ever know about this and that also, he needed to make sure it wouldn't become a habit. Like, what came next, skyping? Sure, he had offered Liam something like a friendship, but… they didn't have to overdo it considering they had only seen each other twice and had only hooked up once.

It didn't take long for Liam to call, Niall had barely left the coffee shop, slowly walking back to campus now as his thumb hovered over his display for a second before picking up, a little hesitant as to what the purpose of that call was. If it even had any. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey… nothing much, I just… I was just bored and it's like… 6 in the morning and I can't sleep." That was explanation enough probably, Niall quickly tried to think of what city could be that far behind but his geographical knowledge ended pretty much with his own college building and campus. Maybe he should've been embarrassed. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, no classes today or the next few days, it's like… a short holiday." Niall explained, finding himself not worrying about what he was telling Liam, it was almost like speaking to Harry, where he didn't watch his mouth. Then again, when did Niall ever watch his mouth? "Harry went home, actually, asked me to come but I didn't feel like packing my stuff. What about you? Anything new since… yesterday?"

That had Liam laughing for some reason, his voice sounded a bit deeper and raspier than in Niall's memory, maybe it was because the older man had been trying to sleep or something, or it was just the phone connection. "Not really… I have a concert tonight though, and I'll be really tired for it now but I can't help it."

"Why can't you sleep?" Dumb question, he probably didn't know that himself, but Niall just blurted out with it anyways, even catching himself trying to find a solution while still walking across campus, suddenly feeling a little bit funny as he thought about the fact that everyone could look at him and yet no one would ever know that he was on the phone with a celebrity. "Maybe you gotta… drink some tea or somethin', I'm not good with this stuff really, Harry would've surely known something but I can't really ask him now."

"It's fine, don't worry, and… I don't know either. I just sometimes got these phases, you know… where I wake up and can't fall back asleep. It'll pass though." Didn't sound very confident, but Niall decided to just drop it, he could hear Liam moving in the background, suddenly a little bit jealous that the older man got to lie in bed. Maybe he should have really taken a nap as well. "So… you got any plans for your break?"

"Not really, there's a few parties I might go to, hang out with some of my mates, sleep a lot, nothing special. Actually… nothing I don't do when there's no break to be honest." Chuckling, Niall tried not to swear under his breath as he looked for his keys in his jacket, his fingers feeling like they might fall off any second. "Except without skipping classes to be honest."

"How often do you skip your classes?" Liam asked like he didn't know, Niall was sure he had at least once told him that that was what every college student did all the fucking time but it seemed to have confused the brunette. Clearly, Liam would have been one of the people on campus Niall barely ever talked to, only if he needed to copy notes.

"I don't know… a few times a week? Depends, if my presence is mandatory or not, you know, sadly can't skip everything or I totally would." Literally. Somehow Niall always managed to pass though, not with the best grades obviously, but he was still on time so he saw no need to really try harder, it's not like he wanted the best job in the world or anything, just a job would be fine actually.

"But… won't you fail every exam then?" For some reason Liam almost sounded confused, making Niall laugh as he finally let himself into the building, almost dropping his phone in the process. 

"Sometimes, but then I pass them next time, it's fine, Liam, no need to worry. I'm not THAT dumb, I'm just a bit lazy, is all, but I guess almost everyone here is, or at least my friends. Just be glad you'll never have to go to college." It only were a few meters to Niall's dorm and he almost felt excited to finally lie down now, it had been too cold outside for walking outside for that long, and Niall hadn't really had much to eat today either. 

"I always wanted to go to college though, I always imagined it to be… fun." Snorting at this, Niall once again needed a few tries to unlock his door, trying very hard here to not accidentally hang up or drop his phone, talking to Liam like this was easier than expected for some reason. "Don't laugh at me, Louis said he loved his time at college."

"Didn't he only go for one semester? That's what he told me, but I was pretty hammered. Anyways, I wouldn't trust Louis with these kinda things, I… actually, I wouldn't trust Louis with anything." Who would besides Harry, really? Like, alright, Niall and Liam were talking right now because of Louis, but… that didn't mean that Louis introducing them had been the best idea in the whole entire world.

"Maybe you're right. You're lucky he's not here actually, he would've killed you for saying that." But Liam was just laughing and Niall found himself smiling a bit as he slipped out of his shoes and dropped his jacket, simply putting his keys on the counter before straight going to his room, already feeling himself getting more tired the second his bed came into view. Hopefully Liam wouldn't be too mad if he slept in in the middle of the conversation.

"And Harry would have probably helped as well. Where's Louis anyways? Did you leave him at home?" Right, Liam might have mentioned something like that, but again, Niall's memory wasn't really the best when it came to random details.

"Yeah, sort of… he wanted to be at home for a while, too, so yeah. I actually… I don't have anyone with me right now, like, none of my friends or family, they all got… stuff to do kind of." That had been it, Liam had mentioned that before and he had sounded a bit sad while saying that, making Niall hate himself a bit for feeling bad for the older man. He was on his bed now, on his back, trying his hardest to not let his eyes fall closed and bring out somewhat coherent sentences.

"Oh… but you're gonna fly them out again soon though, right? I can imagine it's boring, all by yourself." Probably wasn't making it any better because Liam sighed in the background and Niall bit his lip so he wouldn't say even more stupid things, he just wasn't the most sensitive person. 

"Yeah, I guess, if they want to… I mean, it's not that bad, still got crew and everyone. And the fans." He quickly added the last sentence, as if Niall cared, to be honest, it confused him whenever Liam used these kinda words or told him about these things because he just simply couldn't see him like that, it was impossible. One time, Niall had told Liam that he couldn't have that many fans, which had come off a bit rude, even though he had actually meant that he just couldn't believe it, not because of Liam personally of course, but the brunette had sounded a little bit hurt still.

"Yeah, I guess you do… " Niall suppressed a yawn, rubbing his eyes with his free hand, his phone already getting hot against his ear, not really thinking then as he spoke, the previous topic kinda forgotten. "Can I ask you something, like… why did you call me? I mean, I know you're bored and all, but I feel like you miss your friends and family and just… why call _me_? Not that I mind, just wondering."

The silence following to that was almost enough for Niall to fall asleep, he might actually have dozed a bit, almost jumping into a straight position when Liam spoke again, his voice sounding louder than it actually was. "I… I don't know, I just… I mean… my family's busy at that time and… I've just talked to some of my friends yesterday, so…"

"And you figured I wouldn't be busy because I'm a college student? Well, you could be right with that." Laughing quietly, Niall suppressed another yawn, resting the urge to cover himself with his blanket because then it would've surely been over, he already felt too sleepy to properly think about what was coming out of his mouth as well. "I'm sorry that you've got no one there with you, I mean… I'd totally come if I could afford it, would only take about 20 hours, right?"

"No, it'd only take like 11 or something, I… " And then he simply broke off and Niall was almost about to check if one of their phones had run out of battery, but his eyes felt a bit too heavy for that so he simply stayed quiet, only to be highly confused with what Liam said next, his voice rather low though, as if he didn't dare to speak louder. "I… I wouldn't mind if… if you did, you know."

"Wait… what?" Suddenly Niall felt a lot more awake as he blinked his eyes open, for a second thinking he had just been dreaming or something, because… he couldn't mean that, could he?

"I-I mean… if you wanted to, you could come, I wouldn't mind… like, at all." Okay now, forget about Niall's sleepiness because literally, he had never been more awake in his life. 

"Liam, I… I can't do that, I can't even afford buying groceries every day I can't just buy a plane ticket to-"

"I'll buy it for you." Liam interrupted, suddenly sounding a bit more excited, he still seemed to be nervous as well though, but for some reason, he seemed to really want Niall to come and there was nothing the blonde boy had ever been more confused by. "I mean… you don't even have to like, pack anything, since you said you didn't want to, I… I'll buy you anything you want there."

"Liam, that's… " Fucking crazy. 

Niall had sat up by now, his eyes wide as he was trying to think of an excuse, just anything that wouldn't hurt Liam too much. But he couldn't just hop on a plane, could he? And let Liam spend this much money on him? Just because he didn't feel like packing?! "You don't have to, sorry, I was just… just thinking, you know, like… I'm pretty bored and you… you're on break and… have you ever been to America?"

"No… never been outside of England and Ireland, just… I mean I'd love to see new places, just… " Just not like this? Sure, this was tempting, but… holy shit, what kinda offer was that even? "I just don't know if… if it's a good idea, like… if you spend this much money on me and stuff, you know, it's… and it's so spontaneous, like… "

"It's fine if you don't want to… was just a thought." Then he tried to laugh it off and Niall's stomach dropped a little bit at how clearly Liam was hurt now, but what should he have said? "But if it's just because of that, I… I fly my family out all the time, and my friends too, it's … no big deal."

"Yeah, but… it's your family, Liam. And your friends, and I'm… " And Niall was just a one night stand who Liam was still talking to after a month for some reason, that alone was crazy enough. "And anyways, I thought you had a concert tonight."

"I do, but… it's only in the morning now and I'd get my bodyguard to pick you up from the airport if … if you decide to come. And also, I… I mean… I do consider you my… my friend as well, you know… " The last part seemed to come even harder over Liam's lips and Niall didn't know what to say anymore. He knew Liam was rich and that a plane ticket wouldn't ruin him or anything, he probably wouldn't have even noticed. Also, Niall had never really been outside the country and it would've been like… _really_ fucking cool to go to America, completely out of the blue like this and during a break that didn't look very promising so far. He wouldn't mind spending time with Liam either or anything, just… he wasn't so sure about the brunette's reasons behind this. Like, was he really THAT bored? Or did he really want _Niall_ to come? And if so then… why exactly him? Did he want to make use of the offer Niall had made a month ago or… 

"I… I kinda want to, but… " But Niall didn't wanna risk anything, like… what if Liam was somehow thinking that they could like… develop feelings for each other, Niall was literally so far from that, he felt it would've been rude to even say out loud. "Why would you do this? For me, I mean, like… why me? Out of all your friends?"

"I… " Obviously, it took Liam time to come up with a good answer then, Niall was half scared to hear something really emotional now that would force him to hang up the phone and never ever speak to Liam again, but once again, he was surprised. "I like you… as a friend, I mean. I'd never tell Louis that though, but… I don't know, I like talking to you somehow, it's easy. And my other friends are really busy with their own lives, I can't always ask them to come and my family is the same, but… since you've never really been outside the country and all, and since I'm pretty bored and don't really like not having anyone with me on tour… I thought… it'd kinda be beneficial for the both of us. Plus… that'd probably be the most exciting break you've ever had."

He was right there to be honest, Niall's life wasn't that boring, but that break was most likely gonna be boring as hell, except for that one party of course. Also, Liam seemed to really be desperate to have someone with him on tour and who was Niall to say no to that really, when he wouldn't even have to pay one pound? Sure, they would spend the whole break together, but it was only a few days and it's not like Niall hated Liam or anything, there was just this one thing he was worried about and if he didn't finally ask, he was probably gonna explode. "And you really don't have, like, any… hopes or so? That me and you could… I don't know… be in a relationship or whatever? Because I really don't want to disappoint you or anything, I'm just not the type for that, as you know, and… I also don't really think that's gonna change very soon or that… that we could work out."

"No! No, that's… that's not at all what I was thinking, Niall, I swear. As I said, I like you, as a friend, nothing else. And I'm bored and… yeah." Liam had sounded honestly surprised by that, immediately calming Niall down with his reaction, his heart bumping a tiny bit faster at the thought of agreeing to this though. They were fucking mental if they went through with this.

"Okay, then… " Still hesitating, Niall looked around his small room, searching for the right words, biting on his bottom lip until it started hurting. God, just fuck it, he was gonna do it. "… how do we do this?"

"How quickly can you be at the airport?" It was almost as if Niall could hear the smile in Liam's voice as he agreed indirectly, kinda hating how it caused him to smile as well, stupidly, all to himself, not being able to help but feeling more than just excited for this. There were many things he had done that were completely insane and stupid to another extend, but this here was definitely claiming the top spot.

 

—————

 

"Wait, wait, Liam… pick up _who_ from the airport?" It almost seemed like Paddy was gonna slap Liam across the face or something, he had already mentioned Niall's name twice and by now it was really getting weird. 

"Niall. The blonde guy, from the bar, you know the one Louis-"

"I know who he is, but… why? Are you… is he like, a groupie or something?" Niall was so far away from being a groupie that it almost caused Liam to laugh had he not been busy getting changed, excitement buzzing through his body as he thought about the upcoming concert, for once not at all nervous for some reason. Or actually, maybe it was because he was excited to see Niall again.

Liam had regretted asking the boy for his number, he hadn't told Louis about it either, but he figured his best friend had found out from Harry as soon as he had started texting Niall. Surprisingly, Liam had somehow thought it'd be a good idea to become friends with the guy he had never wanted to see again and now he was actually really enjoying talking to Niall, despite the fact that they had had a one night stand. 

It was easy though, talking to him, he was just a normal guy and Liam kinda liked that, especially because Niall gave zero fucks about Liam's jobs or his money, he had simply tried to be nice by offering that they could talk and well… Liam had figured that he might as well fly the boy out. They were friends after all, right? There was nothing weird about that, and pretty much everyone else was busy and Niall hadn't seen a lot of the world, so Liam actually thought his idea was more than just brilliant. 

As long as Louis didn't find out of course, he probably would sooner or later, but Liam still needed to think of how to escape his friend's teasing. It's not like he was in love with Niall, so it wasn't like Louis' plan had worked or anything, this was _totally_ different.

"No, he's not. We're just friends and I thought I'd fly him out, but his plane will probably land before the show is over and you know what he looks like, so… " Liam made some movement with his hand, knowing that he was gonna get asked TONS of questions about this, by literally everyone, but he could handle it, and not everyone knew that they had hooked up after all.

But Paddy did, unfortunately. "But you slept with him? And now you're flying him out and-"

"But not to sleep with him again? Trust me, Niall doesn't care about my job, he didn't even know what city I was in before I sent him the email for his plane ticket." Which maybe had been a tiny bit rude as Liam had at least mentioned 5 times that he was in Los Angeles, but yeah, only showed that Niall had other things on his mind than Liam's fame.

"What a good friend." It came out a bit sarcastic but Liam decided to ignore it, checking his phone out of habit, his stomach dropping a little when he saw a message from Louis. Completely unrelated to the topic of course, but it only reminded Liam that Louis was gonna find out anyways and he was never gonna let Liam hear the end of it. Then again though, Louis was also still talking to Harry, it wasn't like he was completely innocent.

"So will you do it or not? I can also ask someone else, which would be really stupid though because they don't know Niall, but-"

"I'll do it, it's fine, just… make sure you know what you're getting yourself into, alright?" It was a bit too late for that honestly, but Liam nodded anyways, not really caring what Paddy thought of this, it's not like he was gonna change Liam's mind. "Where do I bring him to? Your hotel room? And what flight is he on?"

"I'll go look it up in a second, okay? And yeah, my room, I'll get him another one tomorrow. Maybe." Or Liam would just sleep on the couch, his hotel room was big enough anyways and Niall didn't seem like he had issues with sharing his personal space. "And please don't say anything to him, okay? And most definitely don't say anything to Louis."

Liam's bodyguard just rolled his eyes before agreeing, sighing a bit as he wrote down Niall's flight number and the gate, very obviously cursing the brunette man in his mind. And maybe also his entire job. "You've really gotten yourself into something there, Liam."

Maybe he was right, but Liam didn't really have an exit strategy anymore and he also didn't really think that he'd need one. There was nothing wrong with bringing his friends on tour, was there?

The concert went fine, brilliant actually, Liam was having an absolute blast, only sometimes thinking about that he was gonna see Niall afterwards, but whenever he did it gave him a slight energy boost. Maybe it was stupid, that he was so excited, but he hadn't had any of his friends on tour with him for a few weeks now and maybe, just maybe, he was excited because it was Niall as well. Last time they had seen each other the blonde had proven to be really nice, despite his slight cockiness that would sometimes come through, also when they texted, Liam really did think that they could become good friends. But maybe not too good though, since then Louis would always make sure to pronounce how it had all happened thanks to him.

One thing that had worried Liam in the beginning had been that maybe Niall was just doing this because he was TOO nice, but when he had made sure before that Liam had no other intentions about this because he didn't want to hurt him, the brunette had pushed these thoughts far away. He knew that Niall would sleep with him if Liam would have wanted to (he didn't), but there was never going to be anything else and that was fine, they'd just spend some time together, nothing else.

There was a message from Paddy on Liam's phone as soon as he got off stage, telling him that he had picked Niall up but also letting him know that he had absolutely hated it with the emoji he had sent. Nice. Not that Liam cared though, he just typed a brief answer before saying goodbye to everyone, trying not to be TOO quick before getting into his rental car. 

The hotel was a bit further away from the arena Liam's concert had been in, for obvious reason, so it actually took him quite a while to drive there, which maybe was a good thing because it helped Liam to come down a bit, still feeling slightly gross though, and maybe a bit weird at the thought of having to come in all sweaty and then having to straight go and take a shower. Well, Niall could probably forgive him if he did.

Maybe there was a tiny bit of nervousness settling in Liam's stomach as he headed for the elevators, purposely ignoring Paddy's other text message that read something like 'your boy is crazy, he almost started a fight with the girls outside the hotel when we walked in'. Well, Liam had known about Niall's manners before, surely, there had been a good reason for this… hopefully.

Liam's heart was bumping a bit too hard when he wiped out his key card to open his door, not really knowing what to think or expect, so he simply settled for walking inside without having anything planned to do or say because he sure as hell wouldn't have remembered it anyways. After all, he didn't usually invite people he had only seen two times to stay in his hotel room.

The second the brunette man stepped inside of his room, letting the door fall closed behind him, his eyes immediately landed right on Niall, even if there was a lot of space and things to look at, the blonde boy lying on his bed was definitely not to be overlooked that easily. He looked like this was his own hotel room, not the other way around.

"Um… hey." Immediately after it was out, Liam wanted to slap himself but simply stood there frozen for a second, watching as Niall's head turned immediately, a smirk forming on his face as he moved to get up out of bed, almost as if-

"Hey!" And yes, Niall did go in for the hug, it was an easy one, light, Liam barely had any time to really react before Niall had already pulled back again, his cologne hanging in the air between them for a moment. How exactly had this boy managed to look like this after an eleven hour flight? "Just got off stage?"

"Yeah, I… can you tell?" Liam laughed nervously, his stomach twisting into knots as he kept staring at Niall standing right in front of him, trying not to be too obvious or to make this weird. He was just gonna talk to the blonde like he did when they were texting, which was easier said than done though, it was easy to fake confidence through a text message of course. And also during a phone call, but face to face, Liam could feel his old blush coming back. "I should probably go and… shower. How was your flight, though?"

And that was the exact moment Niall's face lit up like a Christmas tree, much to Liam's surprise, because whenever he usually asked this question, he was both looking into a tired face and getting an answer much alike. " _Amazing_. I thought it'd be so boring but I was sleeping like, the whole entire time, but seriously though… you got me first class? The flight attendant thought it was a mistake, so did I."

"Did she tell you that? That's… pretty rude." It seriously was, Liam felt bothered for a second before Niall's chuckle brought him back, having to blink a few times after the blonde jokingly hit him in the ribs. 

"She didn't, she just seemed very confused. Anyways, thank you, you really didn't have to. I mean you didn't have to pay for my flight at all of course, but… I would've survived economy as well." Well, of course he would have, however Liam was never going to tell Niall that the flight had been booked out except for first class and he really wouldn't have wanted to wait until tomorrow morning for Niall to arrive. Then again though, seeing how happy it had made the blonde, Liam made a mental note to always get him the best plane tickets from now on. Just in case they'd ever do this again of course.

"I know, but… it was a long flight and I thought you'd be able to sleep this way, you know… I mean, you're probably still gonna be really jet lagged, but … " He didn't seem like it at all right now, but there was no way this would just pass Niall by, Liam knew what it was like after all.

"I think I can deal with that, I've never been on a plane for more than maybe an hour or even less, but it was… a good experience somehow. Plus, I had tons of space to myself so I didn't feel claustrophobic at all." Wait… what?

"You… you have claustrophobia?" Feeling slightly dumb, Liam was surprised that Niall would just admit that, he always seemed so tough, as if there was nothing and no one that could scare him, but the blonde simply shrugged now, not at all seeming embarrassed.

"Yeah, not that bad though, it's fine." And then, as if to proof it, Niall simply walked back to the bed, the smile still prominent on his face as he briefly pointed towards the TV. "Your TV is sick by the way, I was watching before when I was waiting for you after your bodyguard left, how's it like playing video games on something like that? I mean, you surely got one at home too, right?"

"Yeah, but… we can play if you want, I… I actually got my playstation here." That seemed to be the magic word, it almost got Liam laughing to see Niall's eyes going wide like this before he started to grin. Yep, he definitely wanted to. "I'll just go have a shower, okay? I'll be quick."

"But be _really_ quick, okay?" Niall seemed to be close to bursting now, he had carelessly thrown his phone on the bed before sitting down, his cheeks getting a bit pink, as if the thought of video games was too exciting for him to comprehend. He surely was more different than any person Liam had ever met.

"I will, promise. You can, like… watch TV meanwhile, or do whatever, okay? Eat everything in the mini bar, I don't know… " Making a gesture with his hand, Liam slowly went to get some clothes in order to change, not even surprised anymore by how fast Niall had gotten up to do exactly what he had suggested.

"Sick, mate… " The blonde mumbled, obviously overwhelmed by the choices he had, and it would have made Liam smile had there not been the second added sentence. "I haven't eaten anything since this morning. I mean, morning for me."

"But that was like… hours ago, why haven't you eaten?" Almost immediately, Liam let go of the shirt he had pulled out of his suitcase to watch Niall getting some sweets out of the mini bar, his stomach dropping a tiny bit as he thought of what the reason could be.

It was even worse than Liam had thought. "Well, I had no time really and also no money and when I was on the airplane I literally overslept every single time they brought food, so annoying." 

On an instant, Liam felt his mother instincts kicking in, which was stupid because he was still at the same time a bit unsure and blushy around Niall, but he just couldn't help it. Not that this was something exclusively happening to him right now, it also did with his other friends, Louis especially, whenever he had too much to drink. "I'm pretty hungry too, like… we'll order room service, okay? You can do it while I'm in the shower if you want."

"Okay, but… I don't really know how to do that, I've never really stayed in a hotel. Or ordered room service." Right, Liam was so stupid, he couldn't just blurt out with these things, it's not like Niall seemed to be hurt or anything, he actually looked pretty happy to have the sweets from the mini bar, but of course that didn't stop the older man from feeling guilty. "But I can wait, it's fine, no worries, go shower."

"I… okay. I'll be quick though, okay?" Not really wanting to go right now but feeling rather gross, Liam quickly grabbed some clothes, trying really hard not to interpret too much into all of this, like… it's not as if Niall was homeless or something, he was just at college and didn't have that much money. "Here, look for anything you want, doesn't matter, we can get the whole menu."

"You say that now, Liam, but you'll hate me once I really do get everything." He laughed loudly as he took the card with the menu from Liam, not waiting for an answer or anything before opening it, mouth half full with a chocolate bar and all Liam could think was, _Who the hell could ever hate you?_

 

——————

 

"Liam? Why do you keep moving?" 

It was late, like really late, when they had finally stopped playing video games and Niall's loud voice had gotten more quiet after filling his mouth with tons of food. And then even more because obviously, Liam hadn't been really hungry and had just pretended in order to have a reason to get room service for Niall.

After he had gotten out of the shower, dressed in a shirt and sweatpants now, much like Niall, the blonde had already turned the TV on, laughing at some show while lying on Liam's bed, looking all cozy, and seeing that was honestly so calming that Liam almost had to smile. It was so nice, to have somewhere there to joke around with and just talk, play video games, plus it didn't feel as weird with Niall as it maybe should have been considering they had only seen each other three times.

Liam did offer Niall that they could still go out and do something, but the blonde had just shaken his head, waving Liam off with a "Nah, I know you must be tired", not leaving him any chance to really deny it since it was true anyways.

The longer they had played on Liam's playstation, the more comfortable did Liam get around the boy, the more used he got to Niall's constant yelling at the TV and most importantly, the more fun they had. It was exactly like with one of Liam's mates and though he still couldn't really believe that Niall was actually _here_ , next on the bed with him, he couldn't help but enjoy the hell out of.

After giving Niall one of his shirts to sleep in because the boy hadn't taken anything with him except for a backpack, since that's what Liam had told him to do, the older man had tried to be nice, leaving Niall his bed for the night, moving to the couch because it was massive anyways. So that definitely didn't have anything to do with his sleeping troubles, he should have been tired as hell, but somehow, he really wasn't finding any rest. "Sorry… I'm trying not to… "

"Do you want to sleep in the bed instead? We can switch." Niall didn't sound annoyed but his voice was quiet, it was really dark in the room now and probably about 3 am. The blonde had started yawning before when they had still been playing video games, so Liam had suggested they go to bed, feeling really bad now though because he was obviously keeping Niall from sleeping with his restlessness. That was the only bad thing about not being alone in his room to be honest.

"No, it's fine, it's not the bed, I… I'm sorry, I'll be quiet now, okay?" Hopefully, Liam already wanted to turn yet again but kept himself from doing so, instead blindly searching for his phone underneath his blanket to check the time. 3:20 am and two text messages from Louis that he was definitely not going to answer right now. The day his best friend would find out about all of this would literally be Liam's death and maybe the fear of that was what drove him to disturb Niall yet again. "… Niall?"

"Hm?" The blonde sounded half asleep, but there was some stirring coming from the bed as well so Liam didn't think that he had woken him.

"Did you… did you tell Harry that, you know… that you're here?" Because if he had Liam could already start digging his own grave, he would need time to prepare himself for telling Louis about this, which was kinda stupid because this was his best friend, just… it was hard to admit that Liam didn't actually hate Niall after pretending that he did and never wanted to see him again.

"Nope… been using the hotel wifi to text him, he thinks I'm still at college. I mean… he hasn't asked me where I'm at so it's not like I lied. I didn't tell anyone that I even left… thought I'd check with you first." Thank god, Liam was so relieved he almost let out a sigh. "Did you tell Louis?"

"No… I didn't tell anyone either, besides Paddy. You know, my-"

"Your bodyguard, I know." There was a second of silence before it was interrupted with Niall's soft chuckle, making Liam more curious than he should have been.

"What's so funny?" They should have really gone to sleep, but since Niall was awake and talking as well, Liam thought it was alright to keep the conversation going.

"Nothin' just… 'm pretty sure your bodyguard absolutely hates me." Oh. Right, Liam should have asked about these things but he had completely forgotten somehow, they had quickly gotten over the somewhat weird and asking questions stage, even though Liam was probably the only one who had felt that way anyways.

"He doesn't, he just… he thinks that… that you're like, a groupie or whatever." Admitting this got Liam's face feeling a lot hotter, but Niall's rather loud laugh made him feel a bit better, somehow having thought that the blonde would be weirded out or something.

"Honestly?! That's fuckin' hilarious. You know I kinda forgot what he looks like, right? And then he just kinda stopped me and I was really confused and then I might have cracked a few too many jokes in the car, I don't know… he didn't seem very amused." Liam would have paid to see that actually, maybe he shouldn't have found it that funny but he couldn't help himself. It'd be fine though, Paddy would see that Niall wasn't trying to fuck Liam over or anything, if the brunette flew him out a few more times or so. "And when we came to the hotel, there were like… a ton of your fans. Mostly girls, and they were all really horny for your bodyguard for some reason? Anyways, they wanted to know who I am and I didn't really answer, 'cos, you know… and they got somehow really mad and probably even madder because you weren't there as well, it was… mad. And pretty fuckin' strange as well."

"Oh… I'm sorry about that, I… I haven't really been thinking about anything like that happening to be honest… " At least Niall hadn't said his name or anything, it did make Liam slightly uncomfortable but there was nothing he could do now, he had more friends the fans didn't know everything about so they should be fine. It'd only get weird if anyone would like, take a picture of them together and then people at Niall's college would find out or something. Or worse, Louis and Harry. 

"It's fine, like… 'm not gonna go tell anyone that I know you, don't worry. As if anyone would believe me, right? But anyways, 90 percent of the time I don't even know you're like… famous, so yeah. If anyone ever asks me I'll just deny everything." Easier said than done, but Liam still appreciated it anyways, once more surprised by how easily Niall could just brush this all off. "It's just a bit weird now, like… thinking about all of this while I'm here, seems a bit unbelievable, that anyone could have this life, I mean… and you don't really fit my celebrity image either."

"Is that… good or bad?" Honestly, Liam wasn't sure, they had never really texted about this kinda stuff so this was new, but Niall didn't seem freaked out or anything, he actually sounded very calm, maybe a bit tired as well. Understandably.

"'s good… why do you think I always forget? You totally pass off as some guy from college." Probably not the kind Niall would hang out with, but it still got Liam smiling a bit for some reason, maybe he was going mental. But it was a good thing to hear from someone that you were acting just like a normal person, right? "Do you think it's weird? That I'm here, I mean? And the whole kinda situation sort of."

"Well… I definitely don't meet new people in bars every day and keep in contact with them, but then again… it doesn't feel weird and… we're friends, right?" At least in Liam's eyes, he almost got a bit stressed out as Niall took his time to answer, only to be relieved when the blonde's voice seemed to have gotten a bit softer.

"Yeah, sure… Whether it was all thanks to Louis or not." He was right, making Liam groan a little bit to himself as he was once again reminded of that tiny thing he would still have to get over with. "But he doesn't have to know, right? Neither does Harry, or anybody else."

"Are you … that ashamed of being here?" It was a joke, or was supposed to sound like one because Liam couldn't help but always think too much about whatever Niall said and then immediately felt hurt.

"No, 'm not, don't be stupid." Oh. "But it'd be pretty annoying if they knew, wouldn't it? Plus they'd _never_ believe that I randomly hopped on a plane for 11 hours just because we were both bored."

"Yeah… they probably wouldn't." They'd think that Liam and Niall were deeply in love or some shit, like sure, the whole story DID sound weird and maybe it was, but then again, it wasn't much weirder to Liam than flying any of his other friends out. "But… you don't like… regret that you came… right?"

That question had been bothering him for a bit, he knew why he had wanted Niall to come, but he wasn't 100% sure why the boy had agreed, and for some reason and even though it totally didn't matter, Liam was a bit worried that Niall secretly hated his guts. Which was why he was a bit too relieved when he head Niall's answer. "No, why would you think that? Like, I can't really wrap my head around that I'm like… in Los Angeles, that's fucking mad. And that you paid for everything and I know it's like… not a big deal to you, but still. I'm glad I came, we were both bored and I really enjoyed playing video games on that big ass TV. And you're not so bad yourself either."

"I… thanks." Niall was laughing so Liam decided to join, feeling his chest loosening a little bit. "You, um… you aren't either."

"Thanks a lot, Liam." Another chuckle, then there was some moving and a yawn, once again reminding Liam that it was in the middle of the night and that Niall was probably really fucking jet lagged. "Can we try and sleep? I'm actually pretty knackered and I'm really starting to feel it."

"Of course, yeah, I… sleep well." Was that an appropriate thing to say? Liam felt slightly embarrassed afterwards but it was dark anyways and they were lying meters apart so he wasn't all too worried. Besides, Niall quickly made sure to let him forget about it anyways.

"You too. And if you can't then… I'm pretty sure I know something that'd make you tired." Was it stupid that Liam had no idea what he meant even though the blonde was chuckling more than just obviously?

"Um… like what?" Honestly, why was Liam expecting a serious answer to this, he was almost begging for it with his stupid questions.

"I don't know like… something to pay you back for everything, maybe a goodnight blow job or something." Yeah, Liam definitely shouldn't have asked, especially because Niall seemed to almost die from laughter over there. 

"I… I'm not sure if I need you to pay me anything back, uh… thanks though, I guess… " God, Liam's face was so hot, it had surely been a joke but like… he knew Niall, he remembered what the boy had offered him a month ago, so it was kinda hard to not suddenly think about it for real. Not that Liam wanted to, but… it just constantly came up.

"Just joking, don't worry." Yeah… Liam wasn't so sure about that to be honest and Niall confirmed that theory not even a second later. "I mean, unless you really wanted to, you know."

"… goodnight, Niall."


	4. Chapter 4

When Niall woke up, he was feeling strangely rested considering how late he had fallen asleep.

For a moment his coordination was a tiny bit lost, but it all quickly came back to him once he had fully blinked his eyes open, trying to rub the sleep out of them. Right, he was in Liam's hotel room, in freaking Los Angeles, and he hadn't even told anyone, had just gone ahead with it, jumped on that plane and somehow, he was really fucking glad that he had. 

"Hey… how'd you sleep?" Liam's voice startled Niall only a tiny little bit, he let out a sigh, rubbing his eyes once more before half sitting up, head spinning as he was forced to let out another yawn, trying to focus on the older man coming closer to the bed. Judging by the jeans and button up he was wearing, he had definitely gotten up quite some time ago. 

"Really good… love your bed." Trying to clear his throat because his voice sounded quite raspy, Niall smiled when he saw Liam's slight blush. Funny really, this guy had asked Niall to come out here so they could spend time together, he literally had fans waiting outside this hotel for him and he was probably singing to a few hundred (or thousand maybe, Niall wasn't quite sure of the dimensions) people and yet he had pink cheeks as he sat on the edge of the mattress, quite far away as well. "How late's it?"

"Umm… not quite sure, but it's afternoon. I was up before… had to go to some meeting, but I left you a note, just in case… but you needed your sleep anyways. How are you feeling? Still jet lagged?" Well, Niall was actually feeling rather well so he thought about it for a second before shaking his head, searching for his phone that he had somewhere lost in between his sheets. 

"No… I think 'm fine. How was your meeting?" Just to ask, Niall ran a hand through his hair, watching Liam playing with his fingers a bit, seemingly surprised by that question.

"I… it was good, yeah… a bit early, maybe." Letting out a very short laugh, Liam rubbed his palms over his thighs, shortly meeting Niall's eyes before quickly turning his head away, having Niall try very hard to not start smiling like an idiot. "So… you wanna do anything today? Like… the options are a bit limited, maybe, but we can still… go out, you know, should be fine."

"Yeah, sure. I'm okay with everything really, whatever you suggest. Or what would be easiest, you know? Whatever keeps you from getting chased down the streets by your fans." Adding the last part, Niall couldn't help but laugh at himself, not thinking as he softly shoved Liam's arm, liking the way the older man smiled back at him, barely, but it was definitely a smile. One that very quickly disappeared as Niall checked his phone shortly. "I got like… fifty messages from my friends asking where I am."

"Oh… " Liam seemed kinda unsure what to say about this, which was funny, but at least he stayed calm, obviously not scared that Niall was going to completely expose him. As if the blonde would have ever done that, he had enough attention from everyone at college, no need to beg for more, plus… he had promised. "What… what're you gonna tell them?"

"I don't know… nothing for now I guess, I'll just pretend I hooked up with someone and that I stayed at their place or whatever… but if I tell them that I went home or somethin', Harry's gonna find out as soon as he gets back." And Niall kinda had a feeling that just keeping this from his best friend altogether would be the best option for everyone involved, mostly for himself though, and his nerves. He'd tell Harry, in case this would ever happen again, just not now. "Which reminds me… I gotta make sure I get back before he does or I could as well send him a selfie of us right now."

"No, I… don't worry, you'll be back in time, okay? But you still got a few days though, right?" It almost sounded hopeful, but Niall was probably misinterpreting things here, even though he knew that Liam obviously hated nothing more than being alone, so maybe he wasn't too wrong there. 

"I do, like three or four, depends when the flight goes, or when Harry comes back exactly, I'm gonna ask him later." Which would be hard because it'd probably lead Harry to the conclusion that Niall missed him or something, and he almost wanted to roll his eyes just at the thought. Like, of course he would have eventually missed his best friend after not seeing him for some time, but this was a completely different situation. "Should be fine though. So what're we gonna do today? And can I borrow another shirt? I kinda only brought… one."

"Yeah, I know, I… sure. I mean… it's my fault you didn't bring more after all." True, actually, Liam had told Niall he wouldn't need anything, so naturally, he also hadn't brought much seeing as he had only had a backpack and no suitcase or anything. Hell, even if Niall had _wanted_ to study right now, he didn't even have a laptop here. Too bad. "We just gotta make sure it's like… not obvious that it's mine."

"Wait… why?" A little bit confused, Niall moved to finally get out of bed, having to force himself a little bit though because it was quite cold without a blanket to cover him. 

"'cause like… if we go out, right, then… I mean, if anyone sees us together and you're wearing my clothes… I don't know what kinda… conclusions people would jump to."

That had Niall stopping in the middle of his way to the bathroom, turning around to look at Liam still sitting on the bed with raised eyebrows. "No way. They know your entire wardrobe?!"

For some reason, that got Liam laughing, a bit nervously maybe, but he nodded anyways, probably amused by Niall's surprised reaction. Just… this was kinda crazy. "Some even… seem to know my blood type, actually."

"That's… fuckin' crazy, Liam, I hope you're aware of that." Niall somehow hoped it was a joke, but thinking about it for a tiny bit longer, he concluded that it probably wasn't. Seemed like he _really_ had no idea what exactly the dimensions of this were, just the fact that the man sitting there in front of him could somehow be the one thousands of people wanted to see seemed a bit unreal. Not that Liam wasn't good looking or a nice guy, just… Niall would never be able to wrap his head around that. "I wonder if Harry knows Louis' blood type as well."

"Probably… you know, I… I saw some of the stuff they wrote about when Louis borrowed me his phone." Okay, now Niall forgot about his urge to pee for a second, raising his eyebrow as he waited for the brunette to continue, a bit curious though he always pretended he didn't care one bit. But Harry always asked him 10 million things about Liam as well, it was only fair. "Not that exciting though, but… Harry wrote something about his cat? And they seemed to really have a steady conversation going on about it, it was… weird. Louis' actually not the type for that at all."

"Maybe Harry's been pestering him for so long that he saw no way out but to answer him. Trust me, I know how it is." Still though, somehow that got Niall feeling slightly happy for Harry, after all he really admired Louis and shit, and though Niall couldn't really share all that excitement about knowing Louis and Liam personally, he knew that his younger friend was excited for the both of them. "I'll go have a piss, I'll be right back."

"I… alright." Turning to go to the bathroom, Niall did stop for another second when he saw Liam's facial expression to that, as if he was surprised someone would talk like that. Maybe he wasn't that much like a college student after all.

"I always talk like that, Payno, I thought you knew that by now." Niall chuckled, amused that he had caught Liam blushing yet again.

"I do, just… it's fine, I'll… get used to it." Then, after nodding to himself, Liam briefly looked down at his hands once more, something like the hint of a smile playing around his lips all of a sudden that got Niall a bit confused. "I… I thought you said that… that my nickname is weird."

Oh. Had Niall used it? He hadn't even noticed if so, but he also had no idea why it would make Liam smile, like, hopefully he hadn't been hurt by what Niall had said a month ago in the bar because he surely did seem a little sensitive. Didn't mean Niall wasn't gonna save him from a joke though. "It is. Perfect for you."

"Hey! That's… not very nice." For a second, he did seem like he was pouting and the blonde almost felt bad as he laughed, because it surely was easy to get Liam worked up, not that that was his goal or anything, he was just a tiny little bit amused.

"Come on, I was just kidding, nothing more. I'm sorry." Just to make sure he knew that, Niall wouldn't have had to apologize like that to any of his other friends, but Liam was somehow different and to be honest, Niall's last intention was to somehow hurt the brunette, for some reason, it would've bothered him more than he would have liked to admit to himself. "I really gotta pee now or I'm gonna ruin that whole floor."

"Oh… then you better go, I… I'll go look for some clothes for you." Nodding to himself once again, Liam slowly got up, returning that smile Niall flashed him though before the blonde disappeared in the bathroom, his mood somehow ten times better than it normally was after waking up.

It turned out that Liam didn't have a concert tonight, so they basically had the rest of the day to do whatever they wanted. Well, not exactly whatever they wanted, obviously, but after Niall had dressed himself in his own jeans and a shirt Liam told him he had never worn before (forcing the blonde to ignore the tag on which the label was written) they went down to the lobby without really having decided what they were gonna do yet.

"Paddy hates me for telling him he can stay behind… he thinks I'm gonna get killed or something." After checking his phone, Liam only seemed a little bit nervous as they walked outside to where the taxi was waiting, of course not through the main entrance or anything, Niall had a pretty good idea what it looked like there. 

"Yeah, by me, right?" Laughing, Niall shrugged as Liam threw an apologetic glance at him, the blonde didn't care that Liam's bodyguard didn't trust him though, somehow he understood, it probably wasn't very likely that people gave no fuck about who Liam was. "Don't worry, I'm gonna let you live until you paid for my ticket back home."

"Very nice, Niall, thank you." The smirk he threw at the blonde seemed very real though he did roll his eyes, at the same time having his cheeks getting a little bit pinker. Or maybe not, seeing as they had been blushed ever since Niall had woken up anyways. "So… I'll try to… show you something, but like… I'm not sure if it's a good idea to really go to where tourists would probably go, because-"

"Liam, it's fine, honestly. I don't care at all, I've barely been outside my own country, the airport alone was overwhelming already." Truly, Niall had been so glad that he hadn't had any luggage to pick back up because he surely would have gotten lost 12 more times. "Besides, I'm not so keen on getting chased by your fans either."

"Okay… good. I just… I feel bad, because you came all the way and-"

"By my own choice. Trust me, I already think that all of this is really, really cool, okay? I don't even care what we're doing." To show him that he meant it, Niall flashed the brunette a smile, bumping his elbow into his ribs like he would have done with Harry, but not quite that hard. 

"I… okay." The blush might have even spread to Liam's ears by now but he did return the smile shortly before they got into the waiting taxi and Niall had no idea where Liam ordered the driver to bring them to but he figured that simply looking outside of the window was exciting enough. 

Maybe Niall was a bit too easily impressed and said a few too many 'holy shit's during the car ride, but to his defense, he had never been to a place like this and Liam seemed to be highly amused by the blonde's reactions to everything anyways. And maybe he also seemed to be a tiny bit pleased with himself.

 

——————

 

It turned out to be quite a long day, even though Niall had woken up rather late, they still managed to get to some places, get something to eat as well and the more time passed, the more did Niall forget that he wasn't with one of his other friends. Or with Harry, more like.

Liam was easy to talk to because he was always listening so intently, asking questions that sounded seriously interested in whatever Niall told him about college and then whatever else randomly came to his mind.

Also, something that Niall tried not to let happen that much but gave up on later was that Liam paid for everything, he first of all used the fact that Niall couldn't pay in pounds as a reason, when obviously that wasn't the reason at all. Had it been anyone else, Niall would have felt bad maybe, but he knew Liam would never ask him to pay him back, and then of course, it's not like the brunette would miss the money. Not that Niall was using him, but he was broke and it wasn't his fault that Liam already had his card whipped out before the blonde had even thought about how much the food must have cost. 

Plus, he did thank Liam every time and the older man brushed it off like nothing, telling him over again that it was fine because he had invited Niall after all and that he did the same for all of his friends. Niall wasn't so sure about that but he let the excuse pass, he WAS broke after all.

They didn't meet any of Liam's fans all day, although Niall did notice that Liam would sometimes hide his face a little bit whenever they passed people, but it seemed to turn out rather well until it got darker and the blonde was seconds from suggesting that they should go have a drink when he got interrupted in the middle of his sentence by something that sounded quite a lot like a very high pitched 'Oh my god'.

Almost at the same second, Liam flinched slightly while Niall turned his head in confusion as they automatically stopped, needing a bit too long to get what was going on. Not his fault he constantly forgot about Liam's job.

It were two girls walking towards them across the street. They probably looked as old as Niall, and one of them seemed on the edge of bursting into tears or falling into unconsciousness while the other one tried to calm her down, seemingly not that impressed after all. Or maybe it was just too dark for Niall to tell.

"Um, Liam… " The calmer girl started once they were close enough and it finally made click in Niall's head after another moment of confusion as to why they would know Liam. Oh, they were fans, obviously, he should've known. "Um… would it… we're so sorry for bothering you, just… can we maybe… have a hug?"

Looking over at Liam's face, Niall was actually surprised to say the least, he didn't know why but he had kinda expected Liam to not smile this overly much or seem so relaxed all of a sudden. He definitely wasn't acting this way around Niall even though these girl were complete strangers and he wasn't even blushed anymore in the slightest way either.

"Of course you can, love, you're not bothering me at all." He already had his arms held open for one of them before even finishing the sentence, it was no surprise that the crying girl practically jumped at him while sobbing, causing Niall to take a step back, the situation a little bit too surreal for him to properly react. This was so weird to watch, honestly, while thinking of how he had simply hugged Liam last night to say hello, how he could have done it any time if he had wanted to and yet these people were dying to do the same. Further, Liam was obviously more than aware of that as well because he surely did hug the girl a lot longer and tighter than he and Niall would probably ever hug.

"I-I l-love y-you s-so m-much… " The girl sobbed, barely audible because of how much she was crying, preceding to choke out more things Niall didn't quite grasp while clinging to Liam like her life depended on it. Maybe it was.

More surprising than that though was the brunette's reaction to all of this, he was so good at it, had to be, that Niall was suddenly more than sure that Liam was actually genuinely enjoying this. "I love you too, babe. Did you come to the show last night?"

"N-No, b-but… w-we're g-going … t-tomorrow… " Nice, now Niall actually felt slightly bad for having accepted those free tickets from Louis when there obviously were people who were ready to die for them. And he hadn't even bothered to stand up.

"That's great, thank you so much. I hope you're gonna have so much fun." Liam seemed to really mean it, only making the girl cry harder if somehow possible, probably not though. "I'm gonna let go for a second and give your friend a cuddle too, alright?"

It took a bit of convincing obviously before she agreed, continuing to sob though even as Liam smiled at her and rubbed her back before going to hug the calmer girl as well, his smalltalk attempts working out a lot better with her, asking for their names, if they lived here, stuff like that.

Niall didn't know what to say or do, which was a bit unfamiliar for him, but he was alright just settling for watching, not really wanting any attention on him anyways, god knows this could possibly end in a terrible way. He did notice one of the girls looking at him a few times, but that was probably because he was acting rather awkward or because they didn't know him, which, believing Liam's words, must've been weird for them. Since they knew everything about Liam and all that, probably all the people around him as well.

"Can we… can we maybe take a selfie?" They seemed very nervous about asking, one of them was still crying even though Liam was treating them like normal people, he was smiling the whole time, signing something for them as well when they asked and yet they still almost choked whenever they talked to him. It would've caused Niall to smirk, but he held back, somehow trying to understand in what universe Liam could ever be this intimidating. 

"Of course. But maybe wait for a bit until you post it, okay? Promise?" Well, this was strange, but Liam said it with such a nice smile that they both immediately nodded, their hands shaking so badly when they took out their phones that Niall wondered how they managed to not drop them.

"S-Sure… I-I… can you… can you take it?" It took a second or two before Niall realized he had been addressed, a little bit surprised, he quickly searched for Liam's eyes, waiting until he had gotten silent consent with a small nod. 

"Yeah, sure thing." Only problem was, Niall didn't really know how to handle an iPhone when he took it from the girl, but they needed long enough to find a pose anyways, giving him some time to accidentally open some text messages and almost call someone. Not his fault he couldn't afford an expensive phone. "Just as a quick warning… 'm not so good at taking pictures."

Somehow it just slipped out, Niall felt stupid for attempting a joke right now, because obviously, the girls didn't find it very funny at all, but for some very weird reason, Liam let out a chuckle. "I think you're gonna manage, Ni."

_Ni_? Was that some try to hide Niall's real name? Possibly, but it did confuse him for a second to hear it out of Liam's mouth, almost forgetting the fact that he was supposed to take a picture of them. Right, a picture of this girl kissing Liam's cheek and the other one still crying, Niall couldn't imagine what it'd be like having to take hundred pictures like this in a row, but then again, it's not like he'd ever have to find out and Liam seemed to be made for this anyways.

Once Niall had wasted about five shots before doing the same with the other girl's phone, they thanked Liam about ten million times and then they hugged him again, made sure he _really_ knew how much they loved him and how thankful they were for everything he was doing for them. Niall wasn't 100% sure what exactly that was, but if he ever felt the need to know, he could've probably just texted Harry.

"That was… interesting." The blonde concluded when they kept walking on their own, still faintly hearing the girls in the background, Niall wondered if they seriously thought they were being subtle screaming around just because they were out of sight. 

"I… I'm sorry it took so long, I just… you know. I feel bad if I just… cut them short and after all, I do owe them everything, so… " Liam shrugged, his smile was still faintly there and Niall could tell that Liam seemed more relaxed now, not that he had seemed tense or anything, actually… they had been having a blast all day long. Even despite Liam's slight shyness and the blushing that kinda came back again, now that it was only the two of them again. Was Niall really worth getting red over that often?

"Don't apologize, Liam, it's fine, I didn't mind at all. Besides, they're your fans, you should care what they think before me anyways." It was weird that he had apologized, maybe he had just been trying to be polite because he almost always was, but Niall really didn't want Liam to feel this way. "You're really good with them, like… it was weird to watch, I guess, how much they were freaking out but you kept calm and you were nice and… I'm sure they're gonna print those pictures out and put 'em all over their walls."

"Probably just post them… hopefully without any details on where we are. But they promised… should be fine." He didn't seem too worried so Niall wasn't either, it was kinda funny, to talk about these kinda things because they seemed so completely natural to Liam. 

"You were genuinely enjoying this, weren't you? I always thought that celebrities are mean people who will get mad at you if you talk to them in private." Not that Niall had ever met a celebrity or felt the need to, but it still didn't fit the picture he had in his head, which was also why he constantly forgot who Liam was.

"Of course, I mean… they do so much for me and it's not like we were in a hurry and they were nice too… it… it makes me really sad like, whenever I can't stop, because… they really take it to heart, you know?" Liam seemed a bit stressed out over that topic, the fans obviously weren't the only ones who took it to heard after all.

"They really love you." Obviously, Niall didn't know why he felt the need to say it out loud, but he was watching Liam's face while talking, seeing it light up once more.

"I know… " His voice had gotten softer at this, lips still curled into a smile and Niall couldn't help but feel his mood being lifted at an instant. This was nice, he liked how much Liam cared about his fans, how much of a genuinely good person he was and even though he had people coming up to him crying and asking for a hug, he was still somewhat shy around people that weren't his fans. It was kind of… really sweet somehow.

The whole day long, Niall had been blabbering about his own life and Liam had asked questions, but now as they were walking with a short silence between them, the blonde suddenly realized that he barely knew anything about Liam at all. Well, other than what he was like of course. "So… how did all of this happen? I mean like, how'd you become… famous?"

Liam pulled a bit of a face at the last word, but he did answer after a short second of thinking, not looking over at Niall though but rather straight ahead, hands shoved into his jeans pocket. "I … I went on the x factor. Twice, actually. I was too young the first time but I tried again when I was 18 and I… I didn't win, obviously, but I still got signed and… it took a few years, it wasn't like this from the beginning, but… I met Louis when I was 20, he hadn't really written that much but we kinda… clicked, I guess, and he wrote a song for me and it became number one and from there on, you know… " 

"So now you're keeping him around to make sure your songs stay number one?" It was a joke obviously, but for a brief second Niall did wonder if Louis teased Liam about that once a while, because Harry sure as hell would have. "Just kidding, I know he's your best friend, right?"

"Yeah, I mean… " Hesitating, Liam shrugged a little bit, his cheeks probably red though Niall couldn't tell anymore now that it had gotten darker, however, he did see the brunette's smirk. "As long as he, you know… doesn't try to hook me up with 19 year old college students."

"Hey! You're glad I'm here, admit it, you'd be bored to death without me." Pretending to be mad, Niall had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't smile when he heard Liam's soft laugh. "Besides, I'm almost 20."

"Right, but… you've been saying that for… a month." Well, maybe their definitions of _almost_ were a little bit different, but Niall hadn't been lying either way, if there was one thing he was looking forward to all year, it definitely was his birthday. Or more like, going out for his birthday. "When's your birthday?"

"Next week. On friday luckily or I would've had to skip a whole day of classes and it kinda sucks going out during the week. Actually… I've barely been thinking about how soon it is until now, I hope Harry doesn't get me a crappy DVD again that he wants to watch with me, I swear, his presents are the worst. One time he made me a carrot cake, have you ever eaten a fucking carrot cake? I'd rather eat sand than try that again." Shaking his head, the memory almost had Niall shivering. It's not like he expected Harry to get him super cool gifts, he just would have appreciated if his best friend either didn't get him anything at all or not something that Harry actually wanted to have himself. "Back in high school his mum always made me a cake for my birthday, I really miss that."

"Um… what about… your mum?" Right, bad topic once again, but Niall just shrugged anyways, looking down now because … it's not like it was that big of a deal, just not his favorite thing to talk about either. But he had kinda been asking for that question after all.

"I don't know. My parents are divorced, she, um… got a family somewhere else and I don't really see her. Been living with my dad since I was little, well, and my older brother, but… we don't get along. So I've spent a lot of time at Harry's house instead and honestly, that was so much better anyways and now we're at college so it's all good." Maybe not everything, but Niall was trying to make it sound as positive as possible, smiling at Liam to somehow proof his point a little more, slightly irritated when the older man didn't seem to really buy it. Okay, change of topic. "What's your family like?"

"Oh, um… very supportive, yeah… I have two older sisters as well, they've all come to probably 60 concerts. And my mum's still filming me when I'm on stage and afterwards she cries, every single time. She… she'd be really thrilled if she… if she knew about you." The last part came a bit slower over Liam's lips, but it only got Niall confused if anything, because… what person right in their mind would think that Niall was good company for their son?

"Why?" In what universe would that make sense, Niall was about 5 years younger than Liam, he was getting more than just bad grades and he was never even gonna scratch the surface of the success Liam had already had at Niall's current age. 

"Because she thinks that…. that I make no effort meeting new people and stuff. I mean… I guess she's right, but it's not like it's easy, if… if you're me. So if she knew that we're friends, she'd probably wanna meet you on the same day or something." Seemed like Louis and Liam's mum had the same goal then, only thing making Niall a bit uncomfortable was the thought that both of them probably didn't want Liam to meet new people in order to be friends, but… most likely a bit more than just that. Something Niall could never ever be. "But I won't tell her, because then Louis would find out and so on… I mean… I would tell them, just… "

"Yeah, I know. Plus if you tell Louis then Harry will know as well, probably, I don't quite know how their friendship works, but I can imagine they'd talk about it." If it even was a friendship, their conversations could quite possibly also only be based on the fact that Harry was a proper fangirl, but after what Liam had told Niall about seeing their messages, the blonde wasn't so sure anymore. 

"Yeah, I guess… it's funny though, I never expected Louis to do this. But then again… I also didn't think he was gonna contact you either." Shrugging, Liam seemed to be somewhat over that already and Niall couldn't help wondering if the older man was now glad that Louis had given the free tickets to Niall and Harry. Because maybe… maybe Niall was a little bit glad. "Anyways, um… what do you wanna do now? We can go back or go somewhere else and I'll get a taxi… whatever you want, really."

"Hmm …. should we go for a drink? I swear I have enough money on my card to p-"

"No, no, that's fine, I'll pay." See, it was impossible to talk against this so Niall didn't even try to argue but instead threw a smile at the brunette to somehow show his gratitude. "Maybe… maybe we should go to the hotel bar though, I… I've been getting quite a few texts from Paddy. And you're under 21 and… honestly… I don't know any other place we could go to… "

"You don't go out that much, huh?" Well, not that that was a secret, Liam had actually told him that before and it was obvious as well, maybe Niall shouldn't have suggested them going to have a drink, he didn't wanna make the older man do things he didn't wanna do. 

"Well… I do when my friends are here… and if Louis drags me to some place." Right, and they were friends after all, weren't they? Liam had said that more than just once. "So if you have any other suggestions… "

"No, it's fine, really. At least if we're at the hotel you won't have to carry me into a taxi if I get too smashed, right?" Laughing at Liam's eyes getting a bit wider, scared almost, the blonde softly pushed him in the shoulder, not hard or anything of course, he barely even thought about these kinda things anymore. "Kidding. I won't, I'll behave, promise."

"You better… " Liam mumbled as he pulled out his phone, probably to call a taxi, and Niall wasn't so sure if the older man's laugh sounded a bit nervous or not. Damn, now he'd really have to pull himself together tonight, something he probably wouldn't have done for anyone else, but it was different with Liam and maybe Niall should have thought about why that was in depth, but somehow he never really did.

 

—————

 

"This is … _disgusting_." Liam looked like he might throw up on the counter any second, making Niall laugh a bit harder than maybe appropriate, his cheeks feeling a little hot and his head slightly dizzy, not enough though that his mind or speech were seriously affected. 

Which couldn't be quite said about Liam though.

Despite Niall's claims and promise to himself that he'd keep it together at the bar, that of course didn't include not trying to get Liam to have a few more drinks with him as he knew that the other man would actually enjoyed himself a lot more if he did. Plus… well, he got a lot more talkative and less shy as well and since no one in the hotel bar gave a bloody fuck about them sitting there and laughing too often and too loudly, Niall saw nothing wrong with it. Honestly… getting a little tipsy with Liam was a lot better when he wasn't completely smashed beforehand.

"It's not, you just gotta drink more of it and not be a pussy, Liam. Here, I'll show you." Not bothering to wait for an answer, Niall simply took the shot glass out of Liam's hand before emptying it in one go, enjoying the burning down his throat as he winked at the older man sitting next to him, their thighs almost brushing. They had been here for more than an hour and though they had started out easy, Niall could already tell that maybe they weren't gonna be walking that straight anymore afterwards. Not that he had a problem with that, if Liam was gonna get smashed then he had no reason to hold back either.

"'m not a pussy, okay?" It almost sounded angry, it would have maybe if Liam didn't have these puppy eyes and pouting lips, so Niall just laughed at him, ordering two more shots without even thinking. 

"Prove it then." The barkeeper would sometimes throw a few too long looks at them, he had almost tried telling Niall that he needed to show his ID but then Liam had shown him his and his room key, telling him to just put it all on his bill and the guy had simply nodded as soon as he had seen the name. More benefits than Niall had thought at first.

Not answering, Liam just took the new shot glass, he did hesitate for a moment before drinking it all in one go, his face scrunching up even worse than before, almost having Niall choke on his own spit as he petted the older man's back when he let out a cough. "Fuck… how can you… drink that?!"

"Guess 'm used to it? You really gotta go out more, Payno, 's fun." Well Niall didn't know how often Liam went out exactly, but he really did mean it, his mind already kinda drifting off as he thought about all the places he could have gone to if Liam would take along. And paid. "But we can get something else, yeah? Don't want you to choke to death here."

"Only because you wouldn't get back home anymore." See, Liam was being different when he was drunk and it really amused Niall, even more so when he was intoxicated himself. 

"You caught me. Sorry, Liam, I just have my priorities, you know… can't leave Harry all by himself, he'd die of a fruit overdose." He probably really would, or starve to death without Niall dragging him out to eat junk food at least three times a week so they could save some money. 

"Maybe he can teach Louis a thing or two… I have to like, kinda watch what I'm eatin' and it's hard when someone around you only eats, like… crap, all day long." Well… oops.

"Maybe you should've flown Harry out and not me. Damn… I really should have hooked up with Louis instead, I already had a feeling that we had a connection, you know, when we were in that bathroom… damn." Of course it was a joke, but Liam's eyes did go wider for a second before he rolled them as he caught up, still smirking though as Niall laughed loudly, barely even registering when he emptied yet another glass.

"Maybe I'm gonna tell him you said that, you know, and he's never gonna let you live it down." That'd require for Harry and Louis to know that Niall was here right now, and then they would never live _that_ down anyways. 

"'m pretty sure _you_ would never live that down actually… if Louis knew I'd much rather want him." Louis wasn't Niall's type at all, if he was really drunk he would have probably still had a one night stand with him, but it was a joke anyways, Niall was glad it hadn't been Louis but Liam instead, but it was just funny to see Liam trying not to pout over this, as if he really took it to heart. "Aww, come on, Payno, I'm not even being serious. I loved our one night stand."

"You can't remember just one thing." Liam blurted out, but it was true anyways, his cheeks were flushed but Niall was pretty sure that embarrassment wasn't playing the biggest part here. They both had had at least five drinks by now.

"I remember my neck hurting like shit the next day though. You really did a great job with those marks." They had only faded after one week, maybe they would have been gone sooner had Niall not constantly been pressing on them but it's not like he had never walked around on campus with love bites, no one had even commented on them except fro Harry.

"Oh… I… I'm sorry about that, I can't really remember doing that either, just… " At least there were two of them then, in the beginning Niall had thought that Liam was beating himself up so much because he could remember everything, but he was probably just feeling weird because he had never done it before. Funny how he had then proceeded to invite his one night stand to sleep in his hotel room. "I don't know, I… I don't know why I even did any of this."

"Because I'm irresistible." Niall joked, winking at the older man who just gave him a weak smile before emptying his drink, just in the right second for Niall to order two more, a little bit too far gone by now to think about how Liam was the one paying for all of this. But he didn't protest, so… "No, but seriously… maybe you wanted it, kind of, you know? And though you wouldn't have done it sober, your drunk self maybe thought it was a good idea."

"Maybe… but I… I don't really think so, I… I mean, it's fine if you… if you like one night stands and stuff, I just… don't really see the appeal, you know?" Sounded logical, and a bit like Harry, but Liam on the other hand seemed very unsure and Niall kinda had a feeling that the only reason why they could even openly talk about this was because Liam was a bit drunk. Maybe that was why he blurted out with the next question, a little bit out of context as well.

"When's the last time you had sex?" Niall just asked like he would have one of his friends, a little bit worried when Liam almost dropped his glass before quickly swallowing, throwing a very shocked look at the boy before clearing his throat, eyes desperately searching for something to focus on.

"Um… you… you were there." Liam finally answered, almost making Niall laugh yet again, but he kept it together, this wasn't supposed to be a joke after all.

"No, I mean like… before that? You know when you told me that you haven't been in a relationship for quite a while and since you don't do one night stands, I was just wondering." The older man had told him a bunch of things that night Niall and Harry had come to his concert, and though the blonde couldn't really remember all of it, he felt like he knew enough. 

"I, um… I mean, my last relationship was like… one and a half years ago, so… there, I guess… yeah. Why?" He really did seem more confused about the question than embarrassed and Niall decided they could use another drink after what he had just heard. Poor Liam, Niall would have already died probably.

"I'm sorry, mate, that's really bad. No wonder you hooked up with me, although I do like to think it was a little bit of my charm as well, but… seriously, Liam, now I totally get why Louis' trying to find someone for you. One and a half years, that's like… _forever_. And you said you really like relationships too, and that… the media or whatever keeps making fun of you for being single, like, you _really_ gotta do something about it. 'm sure it wouldn't bother you that much if you hooked up with someone once a while. And don't you miss sex too?" Maybe this conversation was getting strange, but the words just fell out of Niall's mouth and they both kept drinking and Liam was maybe getting paler now instead of blushed. 

"I… it's not like I'm a sex addict, I… I can live without it, maybe I miss it sometimes, but… I don't wanna… sleep with strangers and… besides, I miss being in a relationship more than just the sex, you know… " Even _worse_.

"Yeah, I get it, I mean… I don't actually, because I never really date anyone, but… I'd feel lonely too, if I… if I'm never really close to anyone, you know? And it doesn't have to be a stranger, like, your friends-"

"You hook up with your _friends_?!" This time, Liam seemed more than shocked as he interrupted, stopping his glass halfway, Niall's mouth twitching as he tried his hardest not to laugh.

"No, I don't, I mean… yeah, I did sleep with some of them, but, it's like, not a usual thing, I just-"

"Did you sleep with Harry?" Liam suddenly asked and it sounded so weird that Niall had his mouth open for a moment, not really understanding how anyone could ever come to this kinda conclusion, like… what the hell.

"No, of course not, oh god. I don't _usually_ do this with my friends, and I'd never do anything with Harry, like he's not my type _at all_ and we don't spend a lot of time together when we go out. Anyways… that's not what we're talking about here. All I meant was that maybe you'd feel less lonely if you went out more and… had a few more one night stands, it's just fun." It was for Niall or he wouldn't be doing it, he wasn't trying to convince Liam or anything, he was just genuinely trying to help here.

"Well, I can't really… I mean… imagine if I accidentally… hooked up with a fan." Right, Niall hadn't really considered that, it just wasn't easy keeping that in mind when they were casually discussing Liam's… not very existing sex life. "And then maybe they'd spread it or take pictures or-"

"Okay, okay, I get it, just… maybe then you'd have to do it with someone you know after all." Okay, that sounded wrong as well, Niall had kinda forgotten where he had been going with that, his arguments had seemed logical in his head, but out loud they just seemed fucking stupid.

"But I… I don't wanna ruin my friendship with anyone just because I wanted to hook up with them…" It was obvious that Liam actually didn't even WANT to hook up with anyone, that it had just been Niall's suggestion to make him feel better. And a bit more relaxed maybe, that'd do him good, but if he didn't agree, it's not like Niall was gonna go search for potential one night stands for Liam like Louis did.

"Well, I mean… we're still friends, right? Even though we hooked up?" But they had hooked up before becoming sort of friends, maybe that was different, Niall felt slightly confused now, his head was spinning a little as well and he could tell that Liam must have felt tipsy as well, it was kinda getting more obvious in his speech too.

"But… I can't even remember, and… that's different anyways, I… I did feel really weird about it, but now, I… I'm over it, I guess, I mean… I wouldn't have asked you to come otherwise." That was new, also, it did make Niall wonder why Liam was still blushing the whole day long then, was he just really bad at talking to people he didn't know that well? Possibly.

"See? Maybe _we_ should hook up again." Though it was a joke and Niall even laughed as he touched Liam's thigh with his, he quickly calmed down again once he noticed that the other man wasn't really sharing his amusement. "I mean, it was a joke. Just… you know I would, so… "

"Yeah… I… I know… " Not like Niall had offered blow jobs last night, he hadn't been serious of course, but only because he had known Liam would decline. Right now though while looking into the older man's brown, slightly shimmery eyes and his flushed face, Niall wasn't that sure anymore. "Just… why?"

"Why not? It's just fun anyways, isn't it? Doesn't have to mean anything at all. And you're fit and we're friends, so… I wouldn't see anything wrong with it." Niall was just being honest here, plus watching Liam biting around on his plush bottom lip kinda had a few images flashing through the blonde's head that might or might not have happened during the night they had hooked up. Or maybe he was just being a bit too imaginative. "Not that I'd try to convince you, I'm just offering, is all."

"I… I'm not sure if I'm… drunk enough for this conversation." He sounded slightly drunk though, it became more obvious when he laughed and Niall could tell that Liam wasn't completely disgusted by the idea, he was just unsure. And he worried too much, like he did all the fucking time.

"Well then at least we'd remember it this time, right?" Waggling his eyebrows a bit to make sure Liam knew it wasn't that serious, Niall suddenly felt a bit weird, not in a bad way, just… he _really_ wouldn't have minded kissing Liam right now or going back to his hotel room. It's like… there was this idea forming in his head that he was too unsure of as to say out loud. He didn't wanna make Liam feel awkward and it was clear that they were different in that kinda sense, but that still didn't mean he could just brush that thought aside.

"Yeah, I… I guess." The brunette shrugged a little bit, clearing his throat then before looking away to grab his glass again, not trying to bring more distance between them though and maybe that was a success as well.

They sat in silence for a little bit, Niall's leg going up and down, a habit just like his nail biting that he couldn't get rid of. Still, it wasn't awkward though, or at least Niall didn't think it was, he was just being thoughtful for a second and Liam probably tried to cope with what they had just talked about. 

"So… " Liam started after a few minutes, seemingly unsure on what to do or say, but at the same time he sounded more comfortable than he probably would have been had he been sober. It was obvious that they had had a few too many drinks though and Niall was quite sure that in a little bit, they'd be feeling it even more.

"So?" Niall asked, slowly looking over at the brunette's profile, watching as he stared down into his glass, their thighs full on brushing by now even though Niall had no idea when that had even happened. 

"I… I don't really… know what to say. I mean… I feel like I had too much to drink to really… react properly… " What exactly would have been a proper reaction then? "I mean… you know what you said, I… I mean… you're… partly right, I guess, but I… I don't really…. know what to do with that… "

"You don't have to do anything with it, I just… I was just trying to help. It's fine if… if it's nothing for you, you know?" Shrugging, Niall actually had to close his eyes for a moment to get rid of the dizziness as he took a gulp of his drink, not quite sure how much he could trust himself right now, for a second he also considered texting Harry to brag about where he was. Maybe not. "But we could try it if you want… just let me know, yeah?"

"Um… try what?" That almost caused Niall to laugh, it was a bit cute, how oblivious Liam could be sometimes, and since he wasn't exactly sober, he felt it would be alright to say what he did then.

"I could kiss you and then… whatever else happens. Don't have to go all the way, 's just fun after all." Niall was 99% convinced that Liam would decline, even though they were sitting really close and the blonde could feel Liam's arm brushing his when they moved, feeling the warmth he was radiating or maybe that was just the alcohol.

Unsurprisingly, Liam took his time to answer, actually, so long that Niall had finished another drink, trying really hard to keep himself from getting his phone out of his pockets now, knowing that he'd probably do something stupid. But turned out he didn't really have any time to even finish that thought. "I…. I mean, we… we could… try… maybe."

Now that did surprise Niall a whole lot, Liam's voice was somewhat quiet, and slow, but he was sure he had heard right and that it weren't his drinks giving him hallucinations. Had Liam just HONESTLY agreed to kissing him?! "Are you… are you sure?"

"I don't know, I… I'm really drunk and… my head's spinnin' a bit and I'm not sure how much I should trust myself right now, but… but maybe… maybe kissing would be… nice." Hell yeah, it would have been.

There were barely any people left in the bar, the barkeeper was talking to someone else, obviously not caring whether they'd drink themselves in a coma and Niall suddenly felt so hot that he wanted to rip his shirt off himself. Were they really gonna do this? Now? here? Just like this? "If you… really want me to."

Turning his head slowly, Niall almost felt himself growing nervous, he rubbed his palms on his jeans, licking his lips as he waited for Liam to look at him, leaning a bit closer without really noticing. "I think I… I do… yeah."

"Okay… " Niall mumbled, for a second almost overwhelmed with what was about to happen, he couldn't think that clearly anymore but he knew that he would have never expected Liam to agree, had never thought that after hooking up once and Liam freaking out over it they'd fucking do it _again_. Was this even real?

Liam took a bit longer until he finally turned his head, maybe only because Niall had thought it was a good idea to place his hand on the older man's upper thigh, his heart bumping a bit faster now, breath going shallow as he leaned even closer, their faces a good few inches apart as they both hesitated, the blonde waiting for silent consent, not wanting to have Liam regret this.

But he never pulled back though, Liam just looked at him, face flushed, red lips parted slightly, his hair falling into his forehead from running his fingers through so many times. He was absolutely beautiful, there was no denying this, Niall had always thought that Liam looked like he came right out of a magazine. They had even talked about it before, about how often Liam had to work out and it had been a joke when Niall had shortly felt his biceps afterwards. When he slowly ran his hand up Liam's arm now though, it was for a completely different reason.

Liam didn't really move much, he was just sitting there, letting Niall touch him, but his eyes did flatter closed when Niall leaned in even closer, pretty sure Liam could smell whatever he had just drank, not quite kissing the older man yet but he could feel their lips almost brushing together, felt the warmth of the older boy's skin, their noses touching.

It was so different from what usually happened when Niall was drunk at a club and about to kiss someone, never this slow or careful, usually it was heated and messy, had been back when he and Liam had first met. But this time, Niall wasn't extremely drunk or desperate enough, sure, he really wanted to kiss Liam and do whatever else the older man wanted to but he somehow had no urge to get there that fast, he really just wanted a snog right now.

Liam's lips turned out to be even softer than they looked, the contrast to his beard scratching against Niall's skin giving him chills. First it was only Niall who really moved, his hands grabbing a bit tighter onto Liam, not really deepening the kiss just yet, he was just testing this out for now, waiting for Liam to react, already feeling a little bit dizzier just from how this felt.

When Niall applied a bit more pressure, choking back a sigh, Liam finally returned the kiss, barely, but it was still enough for Niall to slowly drag his tongue across Liam's bottom lip, his hand moving up automatically, feeling the muscles underneath Liam's shirt, then across the warm skin of his neck and finally cupping his cheek just as the brunette relaxed his jaw, allowing Niall to lick into his mouth.

Liam was a fantastic kisser once he got more into it, Niall was still kinda taking the lead simply because the brunette wasn't reacting this much, but he did kiss Niall back and leaned into him, after what seemed like forever even placing his hand on Niall's hip, softly, not really moving it from there on.

Niall had no idea for how long they kissed, all he knew was that he was enjoying the hell out of this, that Liam's tongue felt hot and soft and _perfect_ against his, his hand slipping into the back of the older man's neck after a while, grabbing onto his hair, somehow trying to keep him closer even if that was kinda impossible.

Had they not run out of breath, Niall was pretty sure he would have just kept going, there was nothing he loved more than a good snog and Liam was even better at it than he could have hoped. They were both panting against each other's spit slicked lips as they pulled apart, not much more than an inch between them.

None of them said anything, for a bit they only tried to catch their breath, Niall kept his eyes closed, not quite wanting to let go of Liam just yet, fingers curled into the brown hair, feeling himself getting even hotter. He didn't know whether this was the alcohol fully kicking in now or whether it had different reasons, but when Liam's breath hit Niall's lips as he whispered, the blonde didn't really care that much anymore either.

"We… we could… go to my room. If you want…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in a week! i was crazy busy with uni and i wanna update like i usually do but all i can really promise is that i will at least do it once a week! hope you all liked the chapter, let me know :D also things will get a bit more interesting now i think ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Liam's head was spinning as they stumbled into his hotel room, his memories of how they had even gotten up here already becoming blurred. In the back of his mind he knew that he would regret this, he knew they should have stopped, but Niall's lips and tongue against his felt too amazing as to just pull away, the boy was way too good with his mouth, his hands grabbing onto Liam's clothes, keeping him close, fingers slipping underneath his shirt, touching his bare skin.

It had been ages, since Liam had been close to anyone, even longer because he couldn't remember the last time he and Niall had hooked up, so that combined with the fact that Liam was smashed wasn't a very good basis for thinking clearly. 

He wouldn't have agreed to this sober, but Niall had a way of making his arguments seem logical even if they went against everything Liam believed in, he didn't know exactly what it was, but it had lead to them snogging in the middle of the hotel bar and now in Liam's room, never letting go of each other, their heavy breathing one of the only sounds in the room.

One of them kicked the door shut with their foot, Liam wasn't sure anymore who it was, all he could think of now was how completely captivated he was with the blonde, there was nothing on his mind anymore except for Niall's tongue in his mouth, his hot body almost pressed flush to Liam's, crotches rubbings together. It was probably more intense and heated than anything else Liam had ever experienced, and maybe that was really sad, but it was the truth either ways.

Niall was clinging to Liam with both his arms around the older's neck, it was obvious that he was completely into this, fingers pulling slightly on Liam's hair, it hurt a little bit, but honestly, the pinching pain somehow turned Liam on even more.

The boy was a bloody fantastic kisser, his tongue was plunged deep into Liam's mouth, sucking on his bottom lip, teeth grazing the sensitive skin until Liam couldn't hold back a low moan anymore, grabbing onto Niall's hips, both for support but also because he was itching to touch the boy as much as possible.

"Fuck… Liam… " His voice was low, barely audible, but it sent chills down Liam's spin and all over his body, causing him to pull the blonde closer into him, grip tightening around him as their lips met once more, both of them heavily panting against one another by now. 

Everything in Liam's head was just _NiallNiallNiall_ as they kept snogging in the middle of the room, his mouth had stopped tasting like all the alcohol they had both had, now it just tasted like the younger boy and whenever Liam tried to catch his breath whenever they pulled apart for a second, Niall's scent was everything that filled his lunges. He smelled good, not familiar just yet but calming in a strange way.

When Niall's warm and rather rough palms slid underneath the older man's shirt, Liam wasn't thinking anything except for the fact that he was slightly annoyed when Niall stopped kissing him for a moment to pull on the hem of his shirt, his free hand resting on Liam's bare hip. "Okay to… take that off?"

They were so close that Liam felt Niall's breath hitting his face whenever the boy spoke, or whispered more like, obviously trying to catch his breath in between. "I… yeah… "

Barely leaving Liam any time to react, Niall had already pushed his shirt up higher and Liam automatically helped before quickly getting rid of the piece of clothing, shuddering as Niall's hands were rubbing up and down his bare chest as he tilted his head up to press their by now swollen lips back together. Fuck, Liam was so gone, nothing in his head was making sense anymore, his legs feeling just slightly numb from how much he had been drinking before, but he definitely was not left cold by any of this, and the constant pushing of Niall's crotch into his wasn't helping much with that.

Before Liam had any time to really try and get Niall to undress as well, he felt the back of his knees hitting the edge of his bed, the one Niall had slept in just a few hours ago, and now Liam was the one who fell on the mattress, barely having any time really to catch his breath though. 

There was a giant grin plastered across Niall's blushed face as he waited for the brunette to move more into the middle of the bed before starting to straddle Liam's hips, the hard line of his dick pressing right into the brunette's, eyes falling closed for just a second.

"Take that… off… " Liam panted out, grabbing onto Niall's shirt as the blonde was just about to lean back down and connect their lips once more, but he obeyed easily as Liam stopped him, his upper body bare just half a second later. 

He was really pale, and he was pretty skinny too, not something Liam hadn't known before though, but he did catch himself staring at the younger boy, at the beautiful flush down his neck and chest, his messy, blonde hair that he never seemed to style or do anything with. Still, Liam couldn't help thinking that Niall looked really good, his eyes were piercing blue, the brown routes of his hair somehow making it look even better. And his skin was really beautiful too, it was soft underneath the brunette's fingertips, without any hint of muscles really, his stomach a little bit pudgy with a happy trail disappearing under the waistband of his boxer shorts, getting Liam feeling even hotter. 

Grinning, the blonde leaned over him once more until their breath was mixing again, wet lips being pressed on top of each other as Niall slowly grabbed a hold of Liam's hands on his hips, moving them until he had them pinned over the brunette's head, mouth opening wide as he literally fucked his tongue into Liam's mouth. There was a low groan coming from the back of his throat that went straight to Liam's groin, it was different kissing like this, with their naked chests pressed together, Niall's slightly sweaty body on top of his, his weight pinning the brunette onto the mattress, thumb pressing into the veins of Liam's wrist. 

Had Liam been completely sober, he would have probably left Niall the complete upperhand, but as their make out session got a bit more heated and the blonde started pushing his hips into Liam's, panting into his open mouth, Liam suddenly changed his mind.

It wasn't hard to turn them around really, Liam knew he was a lot stronger than Niall, but the blonde didn't try to resist either ways as he freed his hands from Niall's grip, holding onto his hips once more as he rolled them around so that he could be on top, their mouths slipping in the process.

"Liam… " Niall whined once he was lying underneath the older man, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down in a short, sloppy kiss, hips pushing up once more. "Fuck me… "

These words had Liam's hair standing on end, he had to stop for a second just to stare at Niall, trying to keep his weight on his elbows as he was fully lying on top of the boy, his jeans having gotten unbearably tight by now, sweat forming on his back. "Do you… you got any stuff?"

Somehow Liam wasn't surprised when Niall simply nodded, fingers playing with hair in the back of Liam's neck now, not having to lift his head very much in order to kiss the brunette again, not for very long though as they were both lacking breath. Liam's lips were already burning, but it was in the best way possible, if it had gone after him, he could have been lying here and snogging Niall for the next few hours. Which wouldn't have been possible probably because they would have both busted.

Climbing off of the younger boy was kinda hard, Liam felt his head spinning once he was standing, almost stumbling over their shoes as he tried to get to Niall's backpack, laughing along with the younger boy still lying on the bed, amused over his lack of coordination. Seven or eight drinks and trying to walk normally didn't really go that well together.

Niall hadn't brought a lot obviously, as Liam had told him to, but it nevertheless seemed to take the brunette ages until he had found the condoms and lube, for a moment wondering if Niall had bought a _travel size_ before realizing that he was fucking drunk and about to bust a nut if they didn't get on with it.

Back on the bed, Niall had somehow managed to get his jeans off and Liam hoped he wasn't staring too obviously at the younger boy's erection trapped in only his white boxer shorts, his hand very obviously stroking himself over the material, a smirk tugging on his lips when he caught Liam's eyes. Was it always so fucking hot in here?

"C'mon… or I'll finish without you." He joked, laughing a throaty laugh as Liam rolled his eyes before fumbling with his own belt due to his slightly shaky fingers and not very focused vision, still standing in front of the bed.

Obviously, he was taking too long because Niall let go of himself with a sigh, sitting up before moving closer to the edge of the mattress, his fingers grabbing Liam's belt in order to pull him closer, almost causing the older man to stumble yet again. Apparently, Niall couldn't wait those two more minutes.

He undid Liam's belt and button without a problem, already having pulled the older's jeans down while Liam was still busy thinking about how Niall was sitting there with his legs on either side of him, giving him a more than clear look on his pinned up and slightly damp boxer shorts. Shit.

"Ni- aah." Liam got interrupted when he suddenly felt a grip around his length, Niall's hand having straight gone into his underwear, rough finger pads playing with the head before giving him a measured jerk, the brunette's teeth clenching as he tried to keep it together. "I-If you k-keep this up… shit… you'll have to… w-wait even l-longer- fuck."

"Get on with it then, Payno." Niall kept stroking him a few times before finally letting go and pulling his hand back, leaving Liam's boxer shorts somewhat pulled down, exposing half of his erection, probably on pure purpose.

Stepping out of his jeans and boxer shorts turned out harder than expected, maybe also because Liam felt himself flushing as he watched Niall lying back down, eyes never off of Liam's, not even when he completely undressed himself, still smirking as he wrapped a hand around his fully erect cock, slowly teasing himself.

Not being able to take it any longer, Liam simply took a hold of Niall's wrist once he was back on the bed, making sure the boy couldn't touch himself anymore before putting his weight on top of him. A hiss escaped him as their hot, sweaty bodies were pressed together, Niall's erection trapped against his, the boy's eyes turning darker as he immediately pulled Liam down for a deep kiss, gripping his hair almost painfully tight as he slipped his tongue past Liam's lips.

For a brief second, Liam was wondering how it had been the first time they had hooked up, but he couldn't really concentrate on anything that wasn't happening right here and now. How Niall felt pressed up against him like this, how his fingers would grip onto Liam's arm and then suddenly claw at his back, how every movement felt like an electric shock, but most of all, how they seemed to already have figured out the best angles to kiss.

When they ran out of breath, Niall turned his head away slightly, panting heavily underneath Liam as the older man continued to place open mouthed kisses down the boy's jaw and then his neck, a faint memory of how Niall had complained about the love bites from last time popping up. Not a reason to stop himself though, especially not because Niall grabbed a lot harder onto him, letting out something that could be interpreted as a moan.

"Liaaamm…. " Niall whined yet again, not stopping the brunette man though as he licked and sucked on his slightly salty skin, smoothing the spot with his tongue before placing a kiss there. "I want you… c'mon… can't wait, shit… "

Pushing his hips up, Niall at least got what he wanted in the sense that Liam had to stop working his neck because he had to choke back a moan, fingers gripping onto the sheets underneath him as Niall continued to grind against him, creating a mess on both of their stomaches. "Yeah… yeah, wait, I just gotta… " 

Frantically searching for the lube and condoms, Liam almost dropped both of the items again as Niall propped himself up on an elbow, letting his fingers brush up the brunette's thigh, dangerously close to his length but purposely avoiding it, instead rubbing them up his stomach through the mess their pre cum had created, all while Liam did his best to open the god damn condom package. _Shit_.

"Do you… need any prep-"

"Nope. Not doin' this for the first time." He was grinning, even though that answer did throw Liam off for a second, barely having any time though to wonder how many guys Niall had slept with since they had last seen each other, because the blonde simply lied back down, keeping his eyes on Liam before sucking on his own finger. "Hmm… you taste good."

Needless to say, Liam at least managed to rip the condom package.

Just the thought of how tight Niall was gonna be without any preparation at all had Liam's breathing going a bit heavier as he rolled the condom onto his painfully hard dick, almost spilling the lube over himself before finally getting it into his palm, jerking himself a few times to spread it before telling Niall to spread his legs.

The blonde seemed completely relaxed, not at all as if he was scared of getting hurt, but though Liam was drunk, he wasn't drunk enough to stop caring about Niall's well being, rubbing his fingers against his entrance, letting them dip in just a bit to stretch Niall before lining himself up, carefully. "I… I'll go slow."

"Don't have to." Niall seemed to be fine, he grabbed onto Liam's arm as the older boy pushed in, slowly, despite the blonde's complaints, having to keep his eyes shut for a moment in order to restrain himself. Shit, Niall was so tight, and hot and yeah, Liam had slept with guys before but that had been years ago and the feeling was a bit overwhelming for him.

"Fuck… " Trying to breathe through his nose, Liam had to support himself with his hands on either sides of Niall's head, relieved to see the blonde's face scrunched up in pleasure rather than pain as their eyes met. Liam wasn't gonna last, it was so, so hard for him to not just fully push in yet and immediately spill into the condom, he couldn't imagine what it'd feel like once he filled Niall up completely.

"Go on… " The blonde whispered, fingernails leaving marks because of how tightly he was grabbing onto the older man, his breath going quick, hitting Liam's face because of how close they were.

Being fully inside Niall was mind blowing, their hips were pressed flushed against one another, mouths hovering over each other even though they weren't really kissing, Niall's arms wrapped tightly around Liam's neck, his tight walls pressing around Liam in all the right ways. For a moment, the brunette's head almost seemed clear to think, as if he hadn't had too much too drink, suddenly he was hyper aware of what was going on, of what they were about to do and yet somehow, for some very strange reason, he wasn't regretting it one bit.

That moment passed though, as soon as Niall moaned into his mouth as they kissed and his hands had wandered down to Liam's bare ass, trying to get him even closer, there was nothing on Liam's mind anymore except for how bloody amazing he felt. Maybe the blonde had been right down in the bar, maybe this was a good idea after all. Or maybe Liam was just really fucking drunk and about to ruin his entire life, he wasn't that sure anymore as he started to pull out of Niall before rocking back inside, heat coiling in his stomach, his tongue almost cramping up from how frantically him and Niall were snogging.

Though Liam tried his hardest to go easy for Niall to get used to at first, he quickly forgot about that as the blonde's mouth slipped from his, moaning whenever Liam hit the right angle, fingers clawing at his back. "Ah… ah, Liam… harder… "

So that's what Liam did, he was too far gone anyway as to worry, probably crushing Niall underneath him with his weight but all he could think of really was how amazing this felt and how loud Niall's moans were as the older man started hitting his prostate dead on, not really pulling out anymore but rather fucking Niall deep and hard with the length of his dick.

The blonde looked like he was close after only a few minutes, he was moving his hips a little bit with Liam and the brunette was scared he was gonna cum any second before Niall had finished. So even though it was hard, he managed to get a hand in between their sweaty bodies and around Niall's length, not surprised at how wet he was with precum, smearing all over their bellies.

"Yeah… y-yeah, please… Liam, aah… " Niall's breath was going fast as Liam started to jerk him off in a somewhat unsteady rhythm, desperate to get the boy off, spreading the he precum over the head, catching his thumbnail in the slit and that's what completely did it for Niall.

He came all over Liam's hand, moaning so much that the brunette was sure at least someone from the staff team must have heard them, not that he was thinking about that in that moment. The blonde clenched around him when he came, so unbearably tight and in all the right places that it took only one more thrust for Liam to come as well, burying his face in the mattress next to Niall's head, trying to swallow down the noises caused by the intensity of his orgasm, hips coming to an unsteady stop after sloppily fucking Niall through it. Shit.

When they both tried to come down from their highs, they were panting even worse than before. Liam might have even tasted blood on his already swollen and burning lips from biting them unconsciously, but his whole body felt relaxed and he couldn't move for a bit, just lying there on top of Niall, dick softening inside of him. 

It was Niall then who made him move after a minute, his chest was heaving against Liam's as he pushed against the older man's shoulder, still somewhat softly, his voice sounding a bit cracked and raspy. "Liam… you're crushing me."

"Sorry." Was all Liam brought out, his whole body rebelling as he attempted to move, hearing the blonde boy hiss as he pulled out slowly before rolling over onto his back, not bothering to even aim for the dustbin once he had tied up the condom. Not that that made any difference, Liam literally had Niall's cum all over his hand and stomach and he couldn't even bring himself to care. "We… we should shower."

"Hmm, yeah, but… 'm fucking smashed. My head's spinnin' so hard… I can't even sit up." Niall's words came out more slowly, or at least Liam thought they did because he himself didn't feel very sober either, all he knew was that he flinched a bit when the blonde randomly started laughing, turning a bit to the side so that he could push his sweaty face into Liam's arm. "Fuck… that was sooo fuckin' good, Payno… 's a shame… "

"What… what's a shame?" Liam asked, confused, or maybe he was just an idiot, either way, he couldn't really concentrate on Niall's words either because his eyes were already dropping closed, barely even aware of how close they were.

"That I can't fuck you whenever I want." That answer should have maybe shocked the older man, but somehow it just got him laughing now, half asleep, and Niall joined after a while, hot breath hitting Liam's skin. 

"You could… I think." Maybe not even fifty thousand drinks would have been an excuse for that, but Liam was on the edge of falling asleep, just like that, not even having wiped his hand on the sheets or anything, just lying there, naked, with Niall pressed up against him, the room smelling of sex and sweat. Nice.

"We could be like… fuck buddies." Seemed like a good idea in Liam's drunken mind, he also wouldn't have minded a round two right now had he not been so incredibly tired. 

"Sure…" His answer was barely audible, but apparently, Niall really took it extremely seriously.

" _Sick_." And then Liam couldn't remember Niall's speech on how he had always wanted a fit fuck buddy because he was out like a light not even a minute later.

 

——————

 

"Liam… hey, mate… you gotta wake up, okay? Someone's kinda… been knocking on the door and I told them you're still asleep but they said they were gonna be back and I'm a bit scared someone's gonna strangle me if you go out there looking like this." Niall's voice woke Liam the next morning, in a very unpleasant way, it sounded way too close and too loud, plus there was a shaking against his shoulder that Liam couldn't get rid of, not even when he grunted and buried his face deeper into the pillow. Somehow he felt kinda gross, but he was too tired and too sleepy as to really think about why. "Liam, c'mon… I even went outside and got you coffee, it was bloody hard to get past your fangirls, you know, the only reason I got back up here was because your bodyguard let me in. I mean… he looked like he was about to kill me but-"

"You… You went outside?!" Okay now, that did cause Liam to jerk awake, he half sat up, head spinning like crazy, there might have even been pain involved as he leaned onto his elbow, trying to fully focus on Niall. 

"Yeah, I… " And then the blonde randomly broke off to stare at Liam, as if he had something weird in his face before suddenly looking down, it almost seemed like he was holding back a laugh. "Liam, I… look, I think we should talk about something… you do remember last night, right?"

"Last night? I… " For a second, Liam was fucking confused because he could literally remember _nothing_ , but then he lifted his hand to run through his messy hair and was stopped when it felt rather sticky and weird. And then his eyes fell onto his lower half, which was covered by a blanket and yet… and yet he was bloody naked and … _oh god_. "Shit… "

They had hooked up, again. Liam felt frozen, he just sat there with his mouth dropped, staring at Niall, who was fully dressed by the way and looking completely normal, as images from last night came back flashing into his mind. Actually, all of it came back, every single detail, because Liam hadn't been nowhere near as drunk as the first time, he could actually still _taste_ the younger boy in his mouth, could actually recall their conversations and what had led him to agree to this. His life was over. 

"Hey, it's not that bad, okay?" Niall immediately jumped in, he didn't seem like he was close to laughing anymore after seeing Liam's face drop, but he also didn't seem the slightest bit worried either. "It's fine, Liam, we just had sex, yeah? Pretty amazing sex, if I may add."

"Niall, I… " Shaking his head, Liam's mind was blocked, he couldn't just think of one single thing to say, even less so when he suddenly remembered why both his hand and stomach felt so gross. FUCK. "I-I… this is… really bad, I… I- we shouldn't have, I was just… we were drunk and… "

"It's fine, don't freak out, okay? Please. It was just sex, nothing else, and we both enjoyed it, there's nothing bad about that, is there?" Well, no, but they had fucking had _sex_ and Liam was just so speechless that this had happened again, he wanted to slap himself. What was wrong with him anyways? Couldn't he fucking keep it together around Niall? Even worse was the fact that Niall hadn't initiated any of this, he had simply been offering things, no, it had been _Liam_ who had agreed, the blonde wouldn't have even touched him had Liam simply ignored him. But he hadn't. "Liam? You okay?"

"I… I'm not sure… " Liam answered truthfully, he felt his heart beating fast, not knowing what to say or do now, or whether he should feel embarrassed sitting here like this… but then again, they had fallen asleep together on here, both naked and… oh god. "Did you… when did you wake up?"

"An hour or so ago. And I know what you're thinking, but I didn't wake up on top of you naked or some shit, you pulled the whole blanket to yourself in your sleep, you weren't like… bare." Right. Not that that mattered considering Liam had been balls deep inside of the boy a few hours ago. "Liam… it's really no big deal, I swear, no one will ever know, promise."

"I'm… not worried about that, just… " It was hard putting it into words, Niall was really understanding though, he wasn't grinning or laughing or anything, he really seemed to feel bad for Liam, wanted to calm him down. And maybe he was right, maybe Liam was overreacting, maybe this was no big deal, but it sure as hell felt like it. "I think I should… go take a shower, yeah… "

"Okay… but don't freak out in there, yeah? It'll be fine." Probably not, but Liam nodded anyways, trying not to start crying when he saw Niall's smile, very relieved though when the younger boy got out of bed just to go and get Liam some boxer shorts. At least Liam hadn't hooked up with an arsehole, Niall was really nice, even if he said a lot of things that weren't quite… normal, in Liam's view, however they were friends and… well, that didn't really make things any better, _nothing_ could have made this any better. "Here. Don't take too long or your coffee will get cold, yeah?"

Since Liam had no idea what to answer, he just nodded, knowing that Niall was trying extra hard here to be sensitive and sympathetic, but it didn't really make things any better. On the inside, Liam was still freaking the hell out, even if he tried his hardest to keep it together for now, not wanting to be a complete pussy in front of Niall.

Luckily the blonde turned around, looking at his phone to give Liam some space as he slipped his boxer shorts on, head pounding now as he got out of bed and quickly searched for some sweatpants, trying his hardest to not look down at his bare stomach or use his… not very clean hand.

Being alone in the bathroom wasn't as much of a relief as Liam had hoped, he avoided the mirror on purpose as he slipped out of his boxer shorts once more, trying not to think about how Niall must have been in here showering just about an hour ago. Naked.

The hot water helped Liam's mind to clear just a little bit, for a moment he didn't focus on anything besides washing himself, with more shower gel than he had used any time before probably. But of course, sooner or later he just ended up standing underneath the warm spray of water, not wanting to move or open his eyes, just waiting for nothing at all, trying his hardest to not start overthinking or worrying.

But eventually, he did anyways.

Was it really that bad? Like… yeah, it wasn't Liam's usual behavior, but he had also never gotten into a situation like this. Twice, with the same person. He had known how Niall was like, that he had one night stands on a regular basis, liked to go out and have a drink or fifty, yet still, Liam considered the boy his friend, was still glad that he had flown him out.

They had had a good time yesterday, it had been really nice, just listening to whatever Niall felt like talking about, how he would tell Liam more about himself, his family and things like that. It was easy to see that Niall's life hadn't been all sunshine and butterflies, but he was still the most carefree person Liam had probably ever met, the blonde just did whatever he wanted, just said whatever came to his mind. And it impressed Liam more than it should have.

Still, he hadn't hooked up with Niall because he had been trying to be 'cool' or whatever, he had done it because it had seemed like a good idea in that moment, and after all, there were things Niall was right about even if Liam kinda hated how easy he was to read for the younger boy.

One, they had both enjoyed themselves, two, it's not like anybody knew about it, and finally three, Liam did indeed miss being close to someone. Not that he missed sex so extremely much, but… it had been nice, kissing Niall, touching him, just having fun without worrying about the why or what might happen afterwards. They had had sex and Liam was gonna have to live with it, whether he lost his mind over it or not, nothing would ever change what had happened between the two of them. 

Surprisingly enough, that thought finally calmed Liam down enough to turn off the shower.

It wasn't like he was completely over it once he stepped back into the room, dressed in some sweatpants now and finally feeling clean, his hair still a bit damp though as he tried his best to act normal, not feeling as weird around Niall as he maybe should have.

The blonde was half lying on the bed without a care in the world about what had happened there, but he did sit up when Liam came back, putting his phone away as he threw a somewhat comforting smile at the older boy. "Hey, feeling better?"

"Yeah… I guess I do." Liam shrugged a bit, trying to relax, telling himself it wasn't a big deal. It would have been with literally anyone else, but not with Niall, he wouldn't tell anybody, he didn't care who Liam was, he had just been trying to help and have some fun. "So… what about that coffee?"

At that question, Niall's face lit up, giving Liam a second to catch his breath as the blonde reached out to the bedside table where he had placed the cup of coffee that he had honestly bought for Liam. And he had basically risked his life for it as well. "Hope it's not too cold, bought it a while ago, I already drank mine." 

"Thanks, Niall, I… you really didn't have to, I'l give you the money when-"

"No, no, it's fine, really. I can afford coffee, don't worry 'bout it." He made some movement with his hand as he handed Liam the coffee as soon as the brunette had sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to keep the right amount of space. No need to be overly distant now. "Look, I really don't want you to worry about this, we're still friends, right? I mean… we've hooked up before, now we did it again, no big deal. I just don't want you to think that this was my goal or anything, I would never try to talk you into this, but we were both drunk and then you asked me to kiss you and I… "

"I know, Niall, I… it's not your fault. I guess I… I'm just… too easy to convince." Which was very true, not only regarding this topic but in general, Liam could almost never say no to people, and though Niall hadn't exactly begged him for this, his arguments had seemed logical last night. "I mean, we… we didn't like… hate it or anything, so…"

"Hell no." Okay, Liam's cheeks were on fire by now, he quickly made sure to get his mouth full with coffee so he wouldn't have to answer to that one, suddenly unsure about his choice to go without a shirt. Then again, it's nothing Niall hadn't seen. "I wasn't joking, you know."

"Um… about what?" Confused, Liam almost forgot about his embarrassment as he looked at the blonde boy, who was now sitting next to him with crossed legs, facing him, looking as relaxed as always, a small smile appearing on his lips.

"What I said afterwards. Don't know if you remember it, but… it really is a shame, you know?" There was a second where Liam almost had to ask for another clarification. In fact, his mouth was already open, the question forming in his head, when suddenly it hit him and he almost ruined his sweatpants as his grip got weak around the coffee cup. Oh.

"I… I mean… " Niall thought it was a _shame_ that he couldn't fuck Liam whenever he wanted? And… oh god, hopefully he wasn't taking what else they had been talking about too literally. "You… you know what I said about… about that, I… I wasn't really… thinking clearly and-"

"It's fine, I didn't think you were, Payno." The extensive use of Liam's nickname made it even harder to concentrate, somehow it sounded better out of Niall's mouth than anyone else's, but Liam was never gonna admit that. "It's still true though, I always kinda thought it'd be fun to have a fuck buddy, like in that movie, you know? But like… that's not why I was saying all these things last night, I genuinely was thinking that maybe it'd make you feel better, you know, since you haven't been intimate with anyone in a while, and since you said yourself that you maybe miss it. Also, you flew me out and everything, and you paid for everything and-"

"Wait… " Liam wasn't thinking as he interrupted Niall, he was just really shocked to hear that, like… what exactly was the blonde trying to tell him here? "You mean, like… to pay me back? I told you you wouldn't have to, also not… with sex, I… that's crazy, I'd never- "

"No, no, what? That's not what I meant, Liam, don't worry, I'd let you fuck me any day even if you were as broke as me." He laughed after cocking his head slightly, giving Liam goosebumps as he shortly touched his bare upper arm, his stare at the brunette a little bit too intense for Liam to look at something else other than these disturbingly blue eyes. Wy exactly was he relieved to hear that?! "Look, I was just trying to make you feel better, okay? That's all. And you already knew I wasn't very… opposed to the idea, right? I'm just saying, I'm still up for anything you wanna do and I won't tell anyone, promise." 

"I… I didn't think you would." Never, Liam didn't know why but he really trusted Niall, he was so honest about everything and the brunette knew that the younger boy wouldn't try to use this for his advantage, hell, he probably wouldn't have even known how to upload a picture of Liam sleeping or something. 

"Thanks." Somehow, that seemed to make Niall really happy, he showed his teeth as he grinned, throwing Liam slightly off track, not sure anymore what they were even talking about here or if they were done already. It almost seemed like it. "Is that coffee any good? Mine was really hot when I drank it, I think I burned off my whole tongue."

"I… yeah, it's good… " Or something like that, Liam could't really taste anything either, he was just trying to be polite, yet his mind was somewhere completely else, desperately trying to figure out why he couldn't be as carefree as Niall, why it bothered him so much that they had slept with each other two times within one month. "Niall…?"

"Yes?" Again cocking his head slightly in a way that forced Liam to look down, he quickly cleared his throat, suddenly feeling dumb for what he was about to ask but not being able to think of anything to talk himself out of it. 

"How…how do you do that?" It was obvious what he meant, because Niall didn't ask, he just seemed to think about it for a bit, seriously, because his smile disappeared, as if they weren't having a conversation about them not being able to keep it in their pants whenever they touched alcohol.

A while passed before Niall finally answered, Liam almost felt like his face was gonna burn up or something, he tried to at least drink the coffee, just for the sake of having to do something that didn't involve staring like a fucking idiot. Obviously he failed quite terribly at that. "I don't know, it just doesn't… bother me, you know. Maybe it's because I've never really had a serious relationship, so… this is basically all I know. But when I think about it, I… it's not because I'm desperately looking for approval, I just really like to have fun, you know? Harry keeps telling me I'm crazy, but who cares, right? And I know you enjoyed it too, and it makes me feel bad that you're beating yourself up over this, _again_ , and I don't know what to tell you besides that it's really no big deal, at all. Like, who'd care if I kissed you again right now, no one would even know."

He was right, to a certain degree at least, because Liam wasn't so sure about Niall only sleeping around for fun, but if he said so, there was no reason the brunette would not believe him. It was hard finding an answer for that, because the longer Liam looked at Niall and then at the coffee in his hands, the more did he become aware of the fact that they had already fucked up twice, the first time had been pretty bad for Liam, but… the blonde was somehow right. They couldn't change it anymore and it hadn't been a bad experience or anything, and who would actually care if they did it again? Except for Harry and Louis, but that was different, they didn't have to know, right? No one did, and lots of people did stuff like this, for sure, it was totally normal, Liam just had to… relax. 

They were friends, Niall was nice, he was funny, the sex with him had been really amazing and most importantly… he wasn't here to somehow use Liam or his money, he was just trying to help, well… and have his own fun, but if these things went hand in hand then… maybe it could work. Or maybe Liam had just lost his mind. "I… okay."

"Umm… okay, what?" Now it was Niall's turn to be confused, though it really wasn't his fault because who could expect Liam to suddenly change his mind like that, he was bloody nervous, couldn't even look at the blonde, but now that it was out, he would have to stick to it. 

"I mean… " Clearing his throat, trying to look anywhere except for at Niall, Liam almost backed out, or panicked more like, but then he thought about last night all of a sudden, that it had actually been really nice kissing the boy, just going along with wherever it went, not caring what would happen the next morning. And then he just blurted out with it. "Kiss me again."

"What? _Now_?" Niall didn't move, he just seemed as surprised as Liam was with himself, he almost felt guilty, but there was a part in him that didn't allow him to take it back, a part of him _wanted_ Niall to kiss him again. 

"I… yeah." Liam should have said no, should've said he had been kidding but he didn't, he was just staring at Niall, not doing anything besides barely remembering that he had to hold that coffee cup up straight.

"Are you sure or are you still drunk?" It didn't sound like he was making fun of Liam at all, Niall seemed genuinely concerned now, which was appropriate seeing as Liam had literally gone mental, he needed to say no, he couldn't let this happen, he was just gonna get himself into even more trouble than he already was in, again by his own fault. But somehow, Liam almost felt high as he answered, way too quickly as well, as if he was buzzing with anticipation. He wasn't, just for the record.

"I'm not, I… I'm sure…I mean, only if you w-"

There was no time to finish, Liam couldn't even fucking blink before he got taken by surprise, Niall's familiar smell filling his nose as soft lips pressed against his, the blonde's hand cupping the back of his neck, not kissing him as eagerly as last night but still firmly, not having hesitated, as if he had been waiting for it.

Still, Liam almost dropped his coffee yet again before grabbing onto it tightly, not being able to touch the younger boy because of that, but he was a little bit taken aback anyways, only slowly allowing Niall's begging tongue entrance to his mouth, goosebumps raising all over his body at the feeling. Kissing the boy while being drunk was one thing, but sober was completely different.

Liam was so aware of everything, the way Niall fingers felt in his hair, tugging lightly, keeping him close, how his hot breath hit Liam's face, his tongue knowing its way around Liam's, long, deep strokes making his head dizzy. The brunette was pretty sure that no one had ever kissed him like this, Niall was bloody fantastic at it, honestly, he wasn't leaving Liam any chance to even consider that he might regret this, all he could think about was how nice it was to be snogging Niall, how he didn't want to stop even as he felt himself running out of breath.

Unfortunately, Niall seemed to think differently because he pulled away after god knows how long, not completely though, their faces still only inches apart, foreheads still almost touching as the younger boy let out a breathless laugh, right against Liam's lips. "See? Not bad."

Definitely nowhere near bad, but Liam didn't respond immediately, he just sat there, limp, blinking his eyes open as soon as the younger boy sat back, almost missing having the blonde so much in his personal space. His fingers were cramping up because of how tightly he was holding onto that cup. "No… not bad at all… Niall, I-"

"Don't, Liam. We've talked about it already, okay? It's all good and if you ever want another kiss then just come and tell me. Or who knows, maybe something else." it was ridiculous, how Niall could just sit there and waggle his eyebrows at Liam like that even though his lips were all swollen and red, probably matching the older boy's. "So, what are we doing today?"

This was _insane_ , literally, Liam felt like he didn't even know himself anymore, there was no logical explanation for what he had just asked Niall for and yet he couldn't help but lick his tingling lips, not feeling half as guilty as he should have. Maybe it was Niall myself who helped to calm him down, who was just sitting there pretending that nothing had happened. "I don't know… whatever… you wanna do, I guess."

"Hmmm… you should probably check in with whoever was at the door before though, they didn't sound too happy." Right, Liam actually had a job and responsibilities, it was a bit hard to remember that after snogging college students he only knew since a month.

"Right, I… I'm gonna see if… if they texted me, yeah." Though the brunette man didn't feel like punching himself in the face just yet, he was still a bit lost in thoughts as he got up to finally put that coffee out of his hands, pretending to not see Niall holding back a laugh as he went on a search for his phone. Only a few text messages luckily, not too important ones, mostly from Louis but Liam tried to ignore those, knowing that right now he'd probably just text him the whole story. "I… I got some short meeting later, I think, but… we can do something else before that. I just got a… concert tonight."

"Right, almost forgot about that." He chuckled again, while Liam stood a bit uselessly in the middle of the room, playing with his phone for a second before deciding that he should probably put on a shirt now, it was probably getting weird. Although, maybe nothing could be weird with Niall, because sometimes it almost seemed like it.

"Yeah, um… do you wanna come?" Liam hadn't been planning on asking that question, he knew Niall hated his songs, but it just so came out of him, because it seemed like a normal question to one of his friends.

"Do you want me to?" Niall didn't seem too opposed to that offer actually, however Liam didn't know if he was maybe just trying to be nice because he knew that the older man was still lost in thoughts analyzing his own behavior. Well… and their very sober kiss, maybe a little bit that as well. 

"It's your decision… " He definitely wasn't gonna tell Niall that he kinda wanted him to come, just because all of his friends always came, it didn't matter that Niall literally hated his music. 

"If you get me some earbuds." Still searching for a shirt in his suitcase, Liam froze a little bit at hearing that, trying his hardest to not be hurt by that comment or the following laughter, because that would've been stupid. And besides, Niall made up for it just a second later. "Sorry, that was stupid. I'll come, but… maybe I can watch from the side this time?"

"Oh… yeah, sure, umm… usually my friends always watch from the side, uh… Louis just wanted… you know." Obviously Louis had been planning on Liam seeing Harry and Niall in the audience a while back, but Liam couldn't exactly be mad at him anymore as he was doing almost exactly what his best friend had wanted him to. Apart from where he was in a relationship with Niall of course. 

"Yeah, I know… you know, since we're talking about him… do you think we should ever tell him and Harry about me coming here? Like… I don't wanna get teased until the end of time, but then again… like, they'll find out eventually." Once Liam had wasted enough time turning his back to Niall, he finally was forced to put on a shirt, slowly turning around to face the boy again, not really sure what he was implying here. 

"I guess, umm… I mean, they wouldn't if… if this was just like… a one time thing, but… if you'd ever, like… wanna come on tour with me again or… " This was so embarrassing, Liam was blushing yet again, but he did catch Niall's smile shortly before he pretended to be cleaning up the room, hating himself for always acting this way around the blonde, even worse now that they had randomly snogged a few minutes ago.

"Sure, I can't leave you all lonely, can I?" For a second, Liam had a really dumb thought, like, maybe Niall was only doing all of this now because he was enjoying the free holidays, maybe he really did see the sex as payment and- "Or you come visit me and I'll show you why you can be glad you're not in college."

Had he just really suggested that? That Liam should come visit him in his dorm?! "But if… if people recognize me then… we're fucked."

"Right… wasn't thinking about that, sorry." Again, he ALWAYS forgot and for some reason it made Liam smile shortly while pretending to be reorganizing his stuff even though he should have probably been mad because of Niall's rather ignorant behavior, but he didn't mind one bit. "I guess we'll see what happens, I won't have any holidays for a while now anyways, no need to tell them anything just yet. Maybe I'll save it until me and and Harry get in an argument."

"Just… just please warn me before you do, okay?" If one of them knew… Liam didn't even want to think about what Louis would do if he found out from Harry, he probably wouldn't even confront Liam, he would just subtly tease him until the truth would eventually come out. Knowing himself, Liam would probably tell his best friend every single detail.

"I will, no worries… what are you looking for the whole time?" Okay, it was getting obvious, Liam promptly let go of one of his jeans as he heard Niall getting out of bed and coming closer, hopefully not thinking of helping him now. 

"I… nothing, I was just cleaning up a bit. Ummm… we can go downstairs and get some breakfast… if you want?" It probably was way too late for breakfast, but Liam was sure they'd still get something, he would just have to deal with everyone throwing looks at him and then having to introduce Niall to every staff member. Hopefully none of them would say anything to his other friends. Or even worse, his mother.

"Sounds good." Seeing Niall's excited grin made it easier to deal with all of this, he was always so genuinely happy and joyful, always ready to crack a joke and yet he had a very calming aura around him, always making sure to tell Liam he was joking, telling him it was fine. Liam was pretty damn sure the blonde didn't have to do that with any of his other friends, and yet he was doing it for Liam for some very weird reason, and he had brought him coffee this morning and then he had snogged Liam just because the brunette boy had asked him to and he had basically twice told him that he wanted Liam to be his… fuck buddy, and anyways… just this one day of Niall being here had gone 100% differently than Liam would have ever expected.

But he still didn't regret flying Niall out and the fact that the boy was ready to do it again got Liam happier than it should have.

 

——————

 

They didn't do much all day long, Paddy was pretty mad at Liam for ignoring his text messages for so long, but after Liam had finished his breakfast with Niall, he still was on time for his one hour meeting, not surprised to coming back to his room just to find the blonde boy lying in bed watching TV, some game that was on, yelling around like he wasn't by himself.

For some reason, it was a lot less awkward than Liam would have expected it to be. Actually, it was just like yesterday, yeah, sometimes Liam's thoughts did go back to last night and then to the kiss and whatever Niall had said about it, but it was surprisingly hard to feel as guilty and mad at himself as he had the very first time. Especially while having Niall around the whole time, who, even though Liam did feel noticeably awkward for a few hours, didn't just once behave differently than he had before, sooner or later helping the brunette to get over it without even saying anything about it.

During Liam's concert, Niall did actually watch from the side, and Liam had gotten him earbuds as well, just in case. It was different, knowing that Niall was watching compared to when his family and friends were there, as if he had to impress someone. Maybe he did, since Niall had told him he didn't like his music and all, but Liam told himself he wasn't trying to change the boy's mind, he was just in an exceptionally good mood and _that_ was why he came off stage completely drenched in sweat and with a huge grin on his face. Not because of any other reason.

"So what do you think now?" Liam was still buzzing, feeling a bit overconfident when he walked up to Niall only minutes after having gotten off stage, trying to get his in ears off by himself as he waited for the blonde to respond.

"Well, it was maybe a bit better than last time." Niall joked, but he was smiling, again wearing one of Liam's shirts, this time an old one though because they hadn't really gone out into public anyways. It was slightly big on him. "Damn, you're dripping."

"Yeah, sorry." Normally, Liam would have probably blushed, but he was sure his face was red enough already anyways, plus he really didn't care right now, performing really did give him a boost of confidence every single time. "I really had to try hard, because, you know… I'm not sure if I really convinced everyone who was watching me."

"You're stupid, Payno." Rolling his eyes, Niall obviously didn't mind about Liam being sweaty after all because he playfully shoved him, laughing when the older man almost dropped his in ears. "No, you were good, I guess… haven't been to many concerts so I got nothing to compare it with. And Louis wrote all these songs, yeah?"

"Not all of them, but a few. And I helped." Adding the last part, Liam maybe sounded a little bit too much like he was pouting because it caused Niall to smirk, shrugging before suddenly taking a step closer. 

"You know… I think I understand now why so many people passed out front row." Wait… had there really been that many? Why hadn't Liam noticed?

"Why?" He was confused, but also a bit concerned, making a mental to check later on twitter, which quickly got erased when Niall suddenly had a very mischievous grin on his face as he slowly grabbed onto Liam's wrist. What was he doing? "Niall-"

"I can't tell you here, and I really gotta take a piss." Okay, Liam was definitely missing something here, but he was in a too good mood as to really question it, so he just went with Niall over to the bathroom as the blonde boy pulled his arm, only shortly before letting go rather quickly, leaving a weird burning sensation on Liam's skin. 

"I'll wait out here until-"

"No, come on, nothing you haven't seen. I just gotta pee, nothing else." Well, maybe that did get Liam slightly hot, but he agreed to going inside the bathroom with Niall, in his mind already preparing to simply turn around and do it off as something normal to Niall. Maybe he did that with his other friends too since he clearly wasn't easily embarrassed in any ways, who knows. 

"So what did you mean before?" Niall locked the door, however instead of going over to the toilet, he just kept standing there in front of Liam, ignoring his confused look and if Liam hadn't known better, he would have said the boy's eyes had gotten a bit darker. But why would they, that didn't make any sense… right?

"Well… I just mean, they probably passed out because you looked really hot on that stage, you know." _Oh_. Now it was over with Liam's buzzing mood, his mouth went a bit dry as he kept watching Niall, who took yet another step, still smirking, hopefully not noticing how Liam's breathing stopped for a few seconds. Did Niall really think that? That he had looked HOT? Didn't he find it gross that Liam was all sweaty? "I know I should ask, but… just push me off if you hate it, okay?"

And before Liam could process any of what had just come out of Niall's mouth, there were two arms around his neck, hungry lips pushing against his, causing his head and back to meet the tiles of the bathroom as Niall's body curled into his, tongue already begging for entrance before Liam had even realized what was going on.

He never pushed Niall off, obviously, though he knew they shouldn't have been doing this here, now, Liam just simply turned his brain off, kissing the blonde back just as eagerly, releasing a very embarrassing yet relieved sigh as Niall rocked their hips together just like last night. Fuck, he just couldn't resist this boy.

Only difference to last night was that none of them were drunk and they hadn't talked about it, but still, Liam didn't stop Niall's hands from wandering places, underneath his shirt, across his sweaty back, clawing at his arms, pulling his hair, at the same time trying to touch the younger boy back just as much, not being able to control himself.

Still, it was just snogging, at first, but the one thing Liam should have _really_ felt guilty for was not stopping Niall as he fumbled with Liam's belt and button before going onto his knees in front of him, but rather leaning his head back and pressing his eyes closed, hand on the back of Niall's head, releasing a suppressed moan at the first touch of the boy's lips and tongue on his already half hard cock.

Liam was gonna go to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its taking me longer than normal to update, im really trying! hope you all enjoy the chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

"Happy birthday, Niall, wake up!" Something very heavy landed on top of the blonde, yanking him out of his sleep within half a second, his heart stopping for a second or two before he remembered what was going on, weakly trying to push his best friend off, eyes still closed in a poor attempt to block out the disturbing light. Had he not been so drunk last night and needed Harry's support to walk, he wouldn't have allowed the younger boy to crash on his couch, exactly for that reason.

"Get off… it's not even my birthday anymore…" Actually, it was probably so late that it was already afternoon or something, Niall didn't know but he also didn't care, his head was pounding like crazy and he didn't even feel physically able to move enough muscles in order to sit up. Last night had been… wild, to say the least. "Are we… alone?"

"Yeah… I made sure you left all the people you snogged at the bar, none of them was your type anyways, but you were so smashed, Ni, you really were out of control last night, if it hadn't been for me-"

"Yeah, yeah, you're my life saver, thanks, Haz." Had Niall been fully awake, he would have rolled his eyes at his friend. Besides, he couldn't even remember last night that well, it always happened when it was his birthday, but Niall didn't mind, he knew he had made out with a few people, and possibly also had hooked up with someone in the toilets, but he wasn't quite sure anymore. 

Everything had immediately fallen back into routine after Niall had gotten back from LA. He had told his friends lies about how he had hooked up with someone and made up the wildest stories and they had believed him without any questions asked, even Harry. Maybe the blonde should have worried about the reputation he had established, but he was just really glad that no one had been suspicious of his slightly weird behavior.

Right now, Niall was thinking of anything besides Liam, but it was true that the brunette had been on his mind quite a lot, even after Niall had gotten back. They had had sex one more time after their second hook up, sober this time, in the night before Niall had left and it was an understatement to say that the sex was getting better because it had already been mind blowing before.

Liam was so fucking hot, and Niall had figured that watching him perform on stage, having him coming off all hot and sweaty and hyper turned him on more than it should have. The older man was a sweet guy, really, Niall genuinely liked him as a friend and he was thankful for everything Liam had paid for and the fact that they had gotten to know each other. But now that Liam had somehow randomly decided to fuck it and went along whenever Niall wanted a snog or suck him off, he actually couldn't believe his luck.

Sure, there were tons of people Niall had hooked up with, but it was different with Liam, even though he was sometimes shy and would blush all the time, when they were naked and in bed and Liam was thrusting into him, it was completely different. And Niall _loved_ it, loved how much Liam was enjoying himself as well, how he was trusting Niall, how he had somehow silently agreed to them being fuck buddies, how they had already talked about when they'd see each other again and how. 

No one knew of course, probably Liam's bodyguard but he was really mad at Liam and the brunette had texted Niall that no one had really asked him about any of this anyways. So it was kind of like their secret, their really dirty secret and it got Niall a bit more excited than it should have. He just really liked joking around with Liam and talking to him and then being able to just pull him in and shove his tongue down the older's throat or get a hand into his pants whenever he wanted to, it almost seemed like this kinda friendship was what he had been missing all along.

Now though, all Niall's mind was filled with was with the pain in his head and how dry his mouth felt and a little bit with how heavy Harry was half sitting on top of him, the warmth radiating off his body making Niall feel a bit too hot. "Now get off, I wanna sit up."

"Don't be so grumpy." But the younger boy did move off of Niall, finally, sitting on the edge of the bed instead while the blonde rubbed his eyes, letting out a yaw before sitting up clumsily, hand searching blindly for his phone as he was trying to somehow get used to the blinding light. "You've got nothing to eat in your fridge, Nialler."

"Well, I'm not forcing you to be here, you know." It wasn't supposed to come out mean and Harry knew, Niall was just busy going through some of his messages, not surprised when he saw that it was already 3 in the afternoon. But it was saturday and his birthday had been yesterday, Niall wouldn't have cared if it had already been night again. "My dad texted me. What an idiot."

"What did he write?" Harry didn't sound too curious, probably already guessing that it wasn't anything special. It never was.

"Just the usual happy birthday and that Greg says hello. Which doesn't make any sense, I'm pretty sure he isn't even at home." Shrugging, Niall lazily scrolled through his other messages, replying to a few, he hadn't really been checking his phone yesterday and most of his friends had congratulated him in person anyways, so he only saw Liam's message now, feeling a slight smile tugging on his lips as he quickly read through it.

 

_Liam, yesterday 10:56 pm_

_happy 20th birthday! :) i know ur probably out right now so don't get too drunk and take care, alright?_

 

"What're you grinnin' about?" Of course Harry immediately noticed, but Niall had locked his phone on an instant without replying, not giving his friend a chance to see the message, they hadn't really been talking about Liam or Louis since they were both back and Niall intended to keep it that way.

"Nothing, just this chick from one of my classes. She sent me a nude for my birthday." Well, she actually had, but it hadn't made Niall smile, only caused him to close the message without replying.

"Gross. My present was _way_ better than a nude, right?" Again, Niall rolled his eyes, playfully shoving Harry before attempting to get out of bed, quickly deciding that he needed to sit on the edge of the mattress for a bit, at least until his head had stopped spinning.

"Better than one of _your_ nudes for sure." They had seen each other naked too many times, Niall hadn't been exactly counting, but he was now immune to anything his best friend could have done. "I'm not sure what exactly I'm gonna do with a book about buddhism though."

"It's really interesting once you get into it, Ni, I've read it a while ago, you could really need some education as well." Had Niall not known Harry for so long, he would have though the present had been a joke, but his best friend had paid for most of his drinks last night as well, so the blonde was more amused than irritated, they were used to not being able to make each other good presents anyways. "You got another present as well, you know, I almost forgot."

"What? Another present from you?" Though it probably was rude, Niall automatically scrunched his face up, already looking for an excuse at to why he really couldn't eat some fruit or vegetable cake today when Harry had already thrown a glare at him before he could open his mouth.

"No, not from me. You can be glad you're getting it now, you know, if I hadn't woken up because I had to puke, I wouldn't have even heard the doorbell." Gross, hopefully Harry had cleaned up the bathroom after himself, Niall cared a whole lot more about that then whatever present someone had dropped off for him.

"Who brought it?" It wasn't that unusual, Niall barely even listened as he started rubbing his eyes again, suppressing a yaw and trying to resist the urge he had to curl up underneath his blanket once more.

"The postman." Ugh, that couldn't mean anything good, their eyes met and the blonde could tell that Harry was thinking the exact same thing as him. His dad. 

"I was hoping dad would send me money, not some stupid ass present." Looking around, Niall couldn't see it anywhere in his room, but as he was about to ask, Harry had already gotten up, probably guessing that Niall was about to go look for it because he stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

"Don't. I'll get it, I'm not so keen on having to help you up from the floor, you look like you're recovering from a deadly illness." Of course more than exaggerated, but Niall simply followed Harry's advice, it's not like he felt like getting up anyways. Niall would be fine in a few hours, he was always really hungover after nights like these, it wasn't like he was gonna die.

Harry was only gone for about a minute before returning with a package in his hands, it was just brown and not that big, but it didn't really say anything on it except for Niall's name and address, no indication from who it could've come from. Weird, that didn't look a lot like Niall's dad's handwriting, but it had to be from him nevertheless. "What if he's sending me like a bomb that explodes once I open it because he hates me so much?"

"Then at least you wouldn't have to pay your rent anymore." True, and Niall also wouldn't have to go to uni anymore, he didn't have a dying wish but his curiosity took over as he started pulling the tape off of the package, suddenly remembering that his dad hadn't given him anything other than money for his birthday for the last 10 years, so that was a first. 

After failing quite terribly at getting the package open, Harry let out a frustrated sigh before deciding to help Niall until they had basically ripped the whole carton apart, still confused though because there was a white envelope hiding a second box inside. "This is so strange, he has never bought me a card before either."

"Maybe it's not from your dad." That possibility seemed to become more and more realistic, Niall would have answered, but he was suddenly more than eager to open that envelope, almost dropping the whole package in the process. And then again once he had removed the card, fully revealing the second box underneath. "HOLY SHIT, IS THAT REAL?!"

Harry's voice caused Niall to flinch terribly, but he couldn't answer, his mouth had dropped open as things suddenly started to make sense upon seeing that second box, neither of them having a doubt about what it was and whether it was real, the protection paper was still on after all. It was a fucking iPhone 6. 

"Who the fuck- give me that!" Without giving Niall a chance to react or recover from his shock, Harry had already ripped the envelop out of his hands, tearing the paper to get the card out before the blonde could stop him, his reflexes still working a bit too slowly to actually yell at his best friend for simply reading that card out loud. " _Dear Niall, hopefully this gets to your dorm before your birthday. I hope you had a good day and that you like your present, I wasn't sure what to get you but I thought you'd enjoy a new phone after complaining about yours so many times. Talk to you soon, L-_ … Niall, it says _Love, Liam_ , LOVE and LIAM! LIAM SENT YOU A FUCKING IPHONE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?!"

"I….it seems like he did." Niall couldn't believe this, he barely even felt the relief as he realized that Liam hadn't made any references to the time they had spent together, after all, Niall had complained about his phone more than once while texting Liam, it was a shitty phone after all and he wouldn't have been able to afford a new one in a million years. Of course the brunette had known that as well. Holy shit. 

"Niall, this… this isn't normal, you know him since a few weeks and… and you told me you're only texting once a while!" Right, now that story didn't really fit anymore, but Niall didn't care that much at all, he was just sitting there, shrugging while staring down into the package, not even having gotten the phone out yet.

"Sometimes he also calls me." He admitted, though they hadn't really done that a lot but still deciding that this was alright to say, they were friends after all, and talking on the phone wasn't exactly screaming FUCK BUDDIES, right? "Look, I… he's just really rich, he probably sends all of his friends expensive gifts and-"

"Oh, now he's your friend, yeah? I thought you told me it's just like sometimes talking to a random guy." Well, that hadn't exactly been Niall's words but that's how he had been trying to portray it for Harry, clearly, that attempt had failed rather terribly. 

"We're friends, alright? We text and we talk on the phone and he happens to have one million times more money than us, it's not my fault he's buying me expensive gifts, okay? Doesn't mean anything." There was a tiny part in Niall that told him that this wasn't alright, that it was too much, that he couldn't accept it, but… that part was rather small. Because on the other hand, Niall could really use a new phone and it's not like Liam would miss that money, he wouldn't have bought it for Niall if he hadn't wanted to, right? And he had put thoughts into it, actually buying him something useful, it'd be really rude to like… send it back. 

"But it's a fucking _phone_ , Niall, I… is there something you didn't tell me? For example that you're way closer to him than you let on?" Great, now this was starting, Harry had actually scooted closer until Niall tried to push him back with his elbow, already annoyed by his best friend's investigation, as if it mattered to him. "Do you have like… phone sex or-"

"No?! We don't have phone sex, okay? Also not cyber sex or whatever else you're gonna ask me next." Only plain, normal sex, nothing else. "What's it to you, Harry? He just sent me a present because he knows it's my birthday. Besides, I told you how freaked out he was after our one night stand, we're not flirting or doing anything more over the phone other than talking and texting, yeah? Same as you and Louis… unless you two have phone sex, then please pretend you don't."

"We don't, sadly… but anyways, this isn't about me, it's about you and L-"

"There's no _me and Liam_ , alright? We're just friends and he has a lot of money, that's all there is to it, okay? And now help me and google how to set up an iPhone." That conversation was over, Niall decided, he couldn't need Harry to ask even more questions that would eventually lead to him having to lie for real, for now he could just settle for only telling half the truth. After all, they didn't have sex over the phone, no one had ever been talking about real sex here.

"What's he gonna buy you for your next birthday? A car?" Though Harry sounded like he was pouting now, he did get his phone out while Niall started to unbox the iPhone, somehow more excited about the present than he should have been.

"Hopefully." It was a joke, obviously, but after a second of thinking about it, Niall felt a tiny bit bad, he wasn't hoping or expecting that after all, he was just teasing his best friend. "No, he won't, don't be stupid, okay? I wouldn't even accept a gift like that."

"And yet you're accepting the phone." God, was Harry forever gonna be a pain in the ass over this?

"Yeah because it'd be rude for me to send it back? Besides, I wouldn't know where to send it anyways and I doubt that he would tell me, so I can as well use it. He put thought into this and he wanted to buy it for me, why would I say no?" Made no sense right? Niall couldn't help the excited grin forming once he had gotten the phone out of the box, he had never had one that expensive and even though his best friend was obviously trying to make him feel bad for this, he did seem a tiny bit jealous as he watched Niall examining the iPhone. "Shit, I never thought I'd have one of these."

"Me neither." Letting out a huff, the slightly younger boy was rather furiously typing on his own phone, forcing Niall to bite back a smile to not upset him even more. "Do you even like him?"

"Of course I do, I didn't keep in touch with him hoping he would one day buy me something expensive, you know?" Or that Liam would fly him out to LA and let Niall suck his dick, but that was a different story. "Are you jealous?"

"No, I'm not? But Louis' my friend as well and he really cares about Liam and I'd feel bad if you only used him to-"

"Haz. Please. Liam's my friend, okay? I promise. And besides, you are _my_ best friend, you should be worried about me rather than a superstar you only met once and some random song writer." Or was Louis famous too? Niall wasn't quite sure but he also didn't really care that much, he had already upset Harry by doing nothing at all, it couldn't get worse now.

"He's not random, you know? He has two million twitter followers and-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Just focus on Louis and leave me and Liam out of this, it's annoying and it has nothing to do with you." Maybe a bit, as they were best friends, Niall was aware that one day the beans were gonna spill and Harry would be really mad at him for kinda having lied to him, but that could wait. A long, long time.

"Suddenly there _is_ a _you and Liam_?" Right, it really was time to stop that conversation. 

"Remind me again why we're friends?" Niall mumbled before reaching for his own phone, remembering that he really had to do something before removing the SIM card, very carefully making sure that Harry wasn't paying attention to what he was doing as he pulled up his messages. 

 

_To Liam 03:25 pm_

_thank you for the birthday wishes, im still alive as you can see haha. anyways… YOURE CRAZY PAYNO i just got your present and harrys telling me i can't accept it and i agree thats its too much but… thank you so much, you really didn't have to do that but i really really like it so thank you so much, best present ever & im gonna call you later once i managed to make it work okay?? :D _

 

——————

 

It took them ages to figure out Niall's new phone, Harry quickly got over his bad mood once Niall allowed him to download some game and play it, one that was for free of course, Niall was way too scared to buy anything with his card that wasn't essential for him. Well, except for the coffee he had bought for Liam a few days ago, but that had been different, the brunette man had basically fed him for 4 days so Niall for once didn't feel bad when he and Harry went out to get some take away at night.

Though Niall's hangover somewhat passed during the day with the help of a few pills, he and Harry did part after they had eaten, each of them feeling a bit exhausted from last night, not really feeling up to do anything special. So after they had said their goodbyes at Harry's dorm, Niall made sure to walk quickly across campus to get to his own as it was dark and rather cold and he was really tired as well. 

He wasn't really the type who ALWAYS needed people around, sure, he did most of the time, but it was kinda nice to be alone sometimes, if it was only for a limited time like right now. Plus, it was kinda nice that Niall could basically walk naked back to his room after showering, he could have if Harry had been there as well, but… it would've been a bit weird maybe. 

It was only about 11 or something, but Niall got completely ready for bed, not surprised that he was already really tired as well, he always was after a night out, even if he slept for half of the day. Maybe he would have even gone to sleep right away, since his bed was so comfortable once he got in with all the lights turned off, but there was still something he wanted to do.

Liam and Niall had been texting throughout the day, the brunette seemed to be really happy about how much Niall enjoyed his new phone, plus he had told him that he could absolutely not send it back, no matter what Harry said and that he would never talk to Niall again if he didn't accept the gift. Even if it had obviously been a joke, Niall took him for his word.

So now that he was finally by himself and in bed, the blonde boy made sure to call Liam right away as he hadn't really had any time until now, hoping that the older man wasn't busy or that he had once again not considered the time difference. It had happened after Niall had gotten back from LA and though Liam had been a good sport about being woken up by the blonde, Niall had still felt slightly bad. 

"Hey." Luckily, the brunette sounded very awake as he picked up the phone almost immediately, causing Niall to smile without a reason really. 

"Hi, Payno. Can we talk or do you have anything to do?" You never knew after all, and Niall didn't exactly know Liam's schedule by heart, he didn't even know what time it was over there.

"No, no, we can talk, don't have much to do since you left really, no one's there, 'm just in my room… so you like your present, yeah?" Liam was more than happy about Niall loving the phone, it didn't take a genius to tell, his voice was all excited as well and the blonde couldn't help but laugh, suddenly not feeling that tired anymore.

"I really, really do. You've got no idea how fuckin' surprised I was, I know I told you already, but… and it really is WAY too much but I can't risk you not talking to me anymore so I guess I'm gonna have to keep it." Talking about it was different than just texting about it though, it was easier to express his gratitude like that. Plus Niall could really _hear_ how Liam didn't think of it as a big deal at all yet how proud he was of having had that idea. 

"It's not too much, don't worry. I mean… I could've bought you something useless as well, but… I wanted it to be good. Also you got me a bit stressed out trying to find something, I literally bought it after you left for the airport." Right, that had kinda been a bit sad, like… they hadn't made a scene, at all, but Niall had hugged Liam a bit longer than he normally would have, again thanking him for everything, a part in him not wanting to leave, especially after Liam had told him that if Niall wanted to skip college for a few days he could as well stay. The brunette had pretended it had been a joke, but Niall knew that he was lonely on tour and that maybe also because… because Liam enjoyed being able to get intimate with someone again. "And then I had to ask Louis for your address… that was the worst part."

"Well, at least now I don't feel bad for not stopping Harry when he read your card. I was a bit shocked and he already had it open and then he was losing his shit over the present, it was a bit intense." Niall had been worried for a second, but it was obvious that Liam had never intended for Harry to not find out, like, it would have kinda been impossible anyways, the blonde couldn't have just told his friend he had found that phone or something. 

"Yeah, I… I almost wrote something stupid into that card, but then I remembered Louis knows as well and… yeah. But I'm glad it all worked out, I was scared you'd only get it really late or something." As if that would have mattered, Liam sounded seriously stressed over this, but it's not like Niall had been expecting a present from him anyways. "And your birthday was good, yeah?"

"Yeah, I kinda skipped all of my classes and then I went out with Harry and my other mates. My head's still pounding a bit actually, I'm already in bed." Suddenly, Niall felt slightly weird for having snogged other people at the bar, but… it was fine, right? Liam and him weren't like… exclusive or anything, he could do whatever he wanted, just… somehow he knew that he would never ever tell Liam about this out of his free will, it was like… he wasn't sure how the brunette would react to it and Niall didn't want to make it weird under any circumstances. "Ummm… what did you do today? I kinda… don't even know how late it is in Los Angeles, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, I'm not in LA anymore, I'm in Las Vegas now, it's-"

"Wait, wait. You're in Las Vegas and you sent me back home before you went?!" God, Niall hated that his break couldn't have been NOW instead of a few days ago, he groaned rather loudly, making Liam laugh at the other end. "That's not funny, Payno!"

"Sorry, I didn't know you wanted to go there so badly. But… I guess I should have known." It kinda suited Niall's personality, that was true, it's not like the blonde could have stayed for that long, but… he could still dream, right? "I promise I'll take you to Las Vegas one day, okay? You're not missing out though, it's not that much fun anyways."

"Not after you've been there 50 times." Still, Niall's mind kinda got stuck at what Liam had said before, that he would take him there one day, it almost sounded a bit… but no, he was probably just being nice, Niall couldn't expect Liam to ever do that, that'd be ridiculous.

"I've only been 4 times before that. I… I mean, it is fun, but… not by yourself. And it probably wouldn't have been for us because you're under 21, I mean, it'd be easy to still get you inside, but that'd be pretty irresponsible from my side." He was joking and teasing the blonde and Niall kinda hated it, but he also liked that side of Liam, when it was so easy to just talk to him, when the brunette wasn't blushing or getting shy, the last part happening a lot less often over the phone than in real life. Even though… they hadn't really talked a lot on the phone, so Niall probably shouldn't judge beforehand. "Sorry, that was mean."

"It was." Niall agreed before letting out another sigh, covering his eyes with his arm now even though it was really dark in his room already. "You're killing me, Liam, I hope you're aware of that."

"Kinda… I'm really sorry." Laughing, Liam was obviously moving in the background, maybe also lying in bed, Niall somehow liked the thought that he was. "But if you still wanna know, it's currently 3 pm and I haven't really done anything today except for meetings and looking at the arena… not very exciting. You?"

"Well… Harry woke me jumping around on top of me like an idiot and then… we tried to figure out how to work an iPhone, it's kinda harder than I imagined? You know when we met your fans and I was taking the picture, they both had iPhones and I accidentally opened every app except for the camera one." That had been slightly embarrassing, not that anyone had noticed but Niall had almost panicked for a second or two.

"I promise you'll get used to it, Niall, it's not that hard and you can just ask me." He probably would during the next few days, but Niall was actually so captivated by that phone, he hadn't put it away during the last few hours and kinda already saw himself as an expert. Well, he had, up to the point where he had accidentally deleted quite a few things and almost called his dad. "Besides, speaking of the girls we met… just reminds me, I found them on twitter, you know, they posted the pictures and they didn't turn out as bad as you thought they would, so it's all good."

"Oh, thank god, I'd hate to be the one to ruin someone's dream." They had been really eager for these pictures after all, putting even more pressure on Niall, he was actually genuinely relieved to hear that he hadn't made them cry or anything.

"Yeah, they were really happy, don't worry. They mentioned you actually, in their tweets." Oh, well… that was a surprise. 

"What'd they say?" Niall had no idea what it could be, it just got him slightly nervous, thinking of his encounters with Liam's fans and what could happen if anyone ever found out about their friendship. Because eventually and if they kept this up, that was gonna happen.

"Not much, just that I was with a friend they didn't know and they described you and… well, and you know how you kinda also met some fans when Paddy brought you to the hotel? And then when you left to get coffee two days later?" Wait… what was Liam trying to get to here?

"Um… yeah? Why?" The blonde almost sat up at this, kinda curious now as to what Liam was talking about, he didn't sound worried or anything, but it was still strange that he would just start with this now. 

"I mean… I wasn't really planning on telling you because I don't think it matters, but now that we're at it… there's a picture of you leaving the hotel. And then coming back with the coffee and Paddy taking you inside and people recognized you, from when you arrived and stuff and they're speculating about who you are, but… it's a really blurry picture anyways, nothing to worry." Well that were… very unexpected news.

"Oh… is that bad? Like… you think anyone who doesn't know I have anything to do with you would know it's me? Like someone who knows me from college?" Thinking about this now, Niall had no idea if any of the people he knew here would be the type to obsess over a celebrity, or over Liam specifically, he had never thought so, but now it did make his stomach turn a little. What would he say if he ever got confronted with it? 

"I don't think so, I can text you the picture, very blurry. Just… I hope Harry isn't THAT investigated into the whole thing, I know Louis isn't and he barely ever notices stuff like this on twitter, neither do any of my other friends, but… " Shit, right, Niall had almost forgotten that his own best friend was the one who was the biggest danger here… but he would have already noticed by now though, right?

"Maybe he stopped stalking you for Louis' sake? I mean… it's already a few days old, right? He would've seen it by now and already stabbed me in my sleep." Or no, he would have tied Niall to the bed and made him spill all the details probably, just the thought of Harry recognizing Niall in that photo was more than just terrifying to the blonde. "I should have been more careful, I'm sorry, Liam, I-"

"Hey, it's fine, don't apologize, okay? It's not your fault, I knew that this was probably gonna happen anyways, but doesn't mean everyone will immediately know who you are, it's just a shitty picture, nothing more." Liam sounded pretty confident about this whole thing, it was nice when the older man was the one calming Niall down and not the other way around, it really did make the blonde feel a bit better. Even if he was still worried of course, he really shouldn't have gone out by himself. "I mean… if you come visit me again and stuff then… we'll just have to be more careful. Or like… eventually tell Harry and Louis about it, I mean… not… _everything_ , just that I fly you out and stuff… that we're… friends."

"Yeah, I… I'm just a bit worried, like… okay, Harry and Louis would be annoying about it, but… what if people around me find out? Like at college? What if there's some… really obsessive fangirls living on campus that I don't even know about yet?" Then Niall was _fucked_ , literally, because he had hooked up with quite a few people.

"Well, I… I mean… if it happens then… then there's nothing much we can do to… to stop it, unless… " He got quiet all of a sudden, randomly breaking off and it took Niall a second or two until he understood why. That was the part he had never considered really, the price he'd have to eventually pay for being friends with a celebrity, the fact that it could kinda put him into the spotlight as well. 

For a moment, Niall considered the worst that could happen, thinking about how everyone on campus would find out, how they'd ask questions about Liam, how there'd always be pictures of them together whenever Liam flew him out. And yet, Niall didn't really think about Liam's 'unless' in depth, yeah, they could just keep it at a friendship over the phone, but… Niall really didn't want that, and he had heard it in Liam's voice as well, the brunette had almost sounded sad, as if now was the time that Niall was gonna find out how much of a big deal all of this actually was.

It was, but not to the blonde really, yeah, he often forgot about who Liam was, but he was very aware of it right now as he made the decision that it didn't really matter. They were friends after all, and he didn't want to never see Liam again just because of this, that would've been ridiculous and would also make him look like a pretty shitty friend. Everyone on campus knew him already anyways, and he was pretty sure there was lots of gossip too, especially among the people who he had hooked up with, so what did it matter really? He had been able to ignore that, he could ignore everything else being said about him as well. 

"No, I… we'll be careful, okay? And if it still happens then… then I'll be able to deal with it, I mean, unless you don't want anyone to find out about-"

"No, no, they know about almost all of my friends anyways, I just don't want you to… to be overwhelmed or anything, you know? It's your decision." His voice sounded soft, but it was obvious that he didn't care about it himself, almost making Niall smile because of how much Liam wanted to maintain this friendship.

"Okay, then that's settled. If… if anyone ever does find out we'll just talk about it, okay? And you give me some tips on what I'm allowed to say and what not, but I guess… I guess as long no ones finds out about how often we hook up we should be fine." Well, not only hooking but other stuff as well, Niall was pretty sure he should have not already lost count on how many times he had snogged Liam, he had only been with him for a few days and yet they had had sex two times, Niall had sucked Liam off in the bathroom after his concert and then they had gone to the brunette's hotel room and gotten each other off yet again. 

"Right… that wouldn't be … a very good idea." Apparently the topic still made Liam slightly nervous, even though he had gotten a lot better at it, he hadn't freaked out anymore over it either and Niall had figured that the brunette maybe still felt a bit guilty about it but was enjoying himself too much as to stop. Plus… he had immediately agreed when Niall had suggested they share his bed for the last few nights, not quite surprised to have woken up to the older man's arms around him the next morning. Obviously, it was the physical part Liam missed about relationships.

"Yeah… you know… Harry kinda already accused me of having phone sex with you." Somehow the thought of it still made Niall laugh, but the longer he thought about it, the less amusing it got, because, well… it didn't actually seem like a very unrealistic thing for them to do, did it?

"Oh my god, did he really?!" Apparently Liam seemed to think differently though, because he sounded slightly freaked out, causing the blonde to chuckle a bit, the mood suddenly a bit brighter. "That's not funny, Niall, I… why would he think that?"

"I don't know, because of your present I suppose. He thinks it's impossible that you would buy me something expensive after only talking to each other through our phones." Well, Harry wasn't dumb of course, and Niall had to admit that maybe it would have been a little bit ridiculous. On the other hand though… Liam had invited him to LA after they had only been texting for a month. "But don't worry, I told him we only text and talk, nothing else, and I think he believed it. Besides, he knows how freaked out you were after we had sex for the first time so he probably thinks that this isn't something you'd ever do anyways."

"I… okay." There was some silence, the blonde bit back a laugh, waiting for Liam to take this in, but it wasn't exactly a secret that they had talked about their one night stand with their friends, right? "Well, I…. I don't even know how… how phone sex would work, so… I mean, I can imagine, but… "

"You've never done it before?" Niall guessed, not very surprised either, after everything Liam had told him, and yet… yet he disagreed with Harry on whether Liam would ever do something like this, because suddenly he had a very good idea on what they could be doing for the next half an hour or so. "I could explain it to you, done it a few times."

"You… really? Why?" See, Liam didn't sound opposed to the idea, he only seemed a little bit breathless if anything, but that wasn't a bad sign and Niall found himself smirking in the darkness, mentally thanking Harry for giving him the idea in the first place. 

"Because it's fun, once a while at least, but I guess it could be a lot more useful, if… if you don't see another person for quite a while." Actually perfect for Liam, wasn't it? Niall didn't want to just blurt out with the idea and be like, _Hey, let's try it_ , he was trying to drop subtle hints, hoping that Liam would play along.

He did, after swallowing a bit and hesitating for a moment. "Yeah… yeah I guess, I… never really came to my mind, I guess and… I wouldn't know, how to like… start, you know?"

"Well, you can start however you like. I mean, unless it's pretty obvious the other person doesn't want to." But Liam didn't seem like that at all. "And also you should probably be in bed or something, or at least somewhere no one's gonna walk in on you. So, are you?"

"Wait… am I what?" God, he was so oblivious sometimes it was more than amusing, yet Niall bit into the inside of his cheek, trying to keep it together because he suddenly really, really wanted to get off with Liam over the phone.

"In bed, I mean." According to the background noise and the slight hesitation, he hadn't been in bed and only walked over because of what Niall had said, almost causing the blonde to completely lose it. Somehow this was really cute, Niall wasn't quite sure why but it caused him to grin like a fucking idiot, somehow trying to keep his voice serious.

"Um… yeah." Liam finally answered, probably blushed as fuck now, if Niall closed his eyes, he could actually see the brunette's red face right in front of him.

"Okay. Take off your shirt then, or whatever else you're wearing." Since they were actually already in the middle of it, Niall decided to just go ahead, he wasn't forcing Liam to undress after all, right? 

"You… you wanna…. you really wanna, like… do it now?" The brunette seemed kinda surprised, but maybe that was just his nervousness, Niall wasn't sure but he was pretty certain that Liam would still play along, he had just very obviously gotten into bed after all.

"Yeah, I thought you wanted me to explain it to you? But if you don't want to, it's fine, just tell me." It took two for that after all, the blonde wasn't _that_ desperate and he could have easily gotten himself off after he had hung up the phone, just… it'd be a lot hotter to it with Liam. 

"Y-Yeah, I… I do, I think, I… wait… " And then he obviously put the phone away to take off his shirt like Niall had told him to, taking a while until he spoke again, his voice a bit raspy, and somewhat quieter as well. "Okay… done. Um… what about you?"

"I'm already in bed, Liam, I've only been wearing boxer shorts the whole time anyways." Of course not for that purpose, but it did seem very convenient right now. "Alright, now just touch yourself, whatever you'd usually do if you were alone. And close your eyes."

"Um… okay… " Niall wasn't exactly a professional at phone sex, but Liam wasn't either so that was alright, the sole purpose of this was to get off and the blonde was pretty sure he'd be able to manage that. "Are you gonna, like… talk dirty now and stuff like that?"

"If you want me to." Shit, it wasn't that easy to get in the mood when Niall had to laugh the whole time, he was slowly running his free palm down his bare upper body, kicking the blanket back just a little so he had it easier, fingers playing with his nipples, trying to think back to the last time he and Liam had had sex. Which was fairly easy as they had been completely sober for the very first time. "Remember when I sucked you off in the bathroom after your concert?"

"… yeah, I… can't exactly forget that… was only a few days ago." Again, Niall held back a laugh, keeping his eyes closed as he tried to get into this, slowly moving his hand down further, thinking about how much of a good kisser Liam was, how he never forgot to mark up Niall's neck with love bites, even if the blonde was begging him to be fucked.

"I hope so, Payno… okay, now think about that, think of how we snogged in the bathroom, where everyone could've basically just been knocking on the door and caught us and how desperate we were and how _hot_ it was." Probably a lot hotter for Liam than for Niall though, because he had just gotten off stage, all sweaty and shit and honestly, Niall would have been lying to say that this alone hadn't turned him on extra much. "And you looked so good on stage and I _really_ wanted to suck you off… I'd do it again right now if I were with you, I love how much you enjoyed it, how heavily you reacted when I took you in my mouth to get you fully hard… remember?"

"I-I… yeah… " Liam was obviously busy in the background and Niall smiled to himself as he tried to imagine it, hand slipping into his boxer shorts now to slowly palm himself, his dick was only slightly interested but he was pretty sure that was quickly gonna change if the brunette would keep breathing more heavily into the phone. 

"Good… imagine if I'd be doing it again right now, slowly getting your jeans open and pulling them down, and then I'd tease you a bit because I like when you get desperate. And then I'd finally get your boxer shorts out of the way and touch you, slowly jerk you off, my mouth only sucking on your tip and you'd already be so wet like you were in the bathroom… and you smelled so good it got me hard too… " Breaking off for a second, Niall pushed his own boxer shorts down lower, finally wrapping a hand around his half hard cock, giving himself a few measured jerks while listening to Liam's breathing, immediately knowing that he was doing a good job at this. "You touching yourself?"

"Yeah, Niall… keep going… please. " Liam breathed out, having to interrupt himself a little bit to take a breath and nothing could've made Niall prouder to be honest, he was loving this already.

"Alright… imagine if it was my hand instead of yours, how I'd be teasing you, not fully taking you in my mouth, slowly letting you fuck into my fist before sucking right on your hipbone… and then I'd move my hand lower and touch your balls, remember how crazy you went for that? Fuck, it was so hot, Liam… and then when I finally took you in my mouth, my arm across your stomach to keep you from thrusting too deep into me because you could barely hold back? Imagine you'd be fucking my mouth and fist right now, how hot and wet it'd feel, how close you'd be after only a few minutes… feel good, Payno?" Everything was true, this was how it had happened back in that bathroom, but it was kinda hard for Niall to recall every detail, especially while jerking himself off, trying not to push himself too close to the edge yet, which was a bit difficult hearing Liam releasing a light moan into the phone.

"Yeah… yeah, fuck… Niall… " His breath was going heavy now and Niall's was much the same, not quite though but he couldn't help thinking back to the last time they had had sex, how fucking good Liam felt inside of him every single time, how it felt like to have him pressing right against his prostate, his hand around Niall's length, sloppily jerking him off while moaning into his ear.

"Tell me about it, Liam… c'mon… how's it feel?" The blonde started stroking himself a bit faster, blanket already kicked completely off the bed now, the waistline of his boxer shorts rubbing up right against his balls as he dragged his thumb over the tip, spreading the precum down his length to make the glide easier.

"So fuckin' good, Niall, I… shit… you're so good with your mouth and… aah… and it was so hot thinking that… that anyone could've heard us… " Liam's voice got lost in another moan, Niall wasn't 100% sure but he was pretty certain he could hear Liam getting himself off in the background, the unmistakably wet noise of his fist around himself, paired with his heavy breathing right into Niall's ear went straight to the boy's groin. "Shit… 'm close… "

"Yeah? Me too, keep going… " Trying to keep it together, Niall slowed down just a bit, slightly out of breath as he continued speaking, letting out a quiet moan as he started rolling his balls in his hand, imagining it was Liam's instead. "Remember when… when we slept with each other the night before I… shit… before I left? How hot it was in your room and … you felt so bloody good inside of me, I almost came all over myself after you fully pushed in and… you're so fuckin' big, Liam, always gettin' the right angle and… s-shit… "

"Y-Yeah… love bein' inside of you, Niall… you're always so… fuckin' tight and… god, shit… Niall… " Liam's breath was going rapid now, he released a rather loud moan that Niall felt deep in his bones, not wanting to be left behind as Liam was obviously close. "Shit… m' gonna… gonna cum… "

"Yeah… yeah, go on, Li… fuck… " Niall obviously didn't notice using that nickname for Liam and he also couldn't have cared less, not with the older man moaning into his ear like a porn star and while getting himself off quickly, almost being pushed over the edge when Liam released a moan consisting of only the blonde's name, breaths coming out in quick puffs afterwards. 

"Shit, Niall… " Liam breathed out, he had obviously just come, and the thought of him lying there on the bed, hair probably all messed up and lips red because he had been biting around on it like he always did, cum all over his fingers and drying on his belly pushed Niall over the edge as well.

He almost dropped the phone as he worked himself through his orgasm, feeling it hit his upper body and possibly also his sheets, not being able to say or do anything except for moaning into the phone, back arching slightly. Fuck, who would've thought that they could be so good at phone sex?

"Did you… did you cum?" The brunette asked after a while, obviously trying to catch his own breath, giving Niall the chance to come down, which was good because the blonde could hear a bit of ringing in his ears, still letting out a breathless laugh though once he had somewhat recovered.

"Yeah… fuck… " His limbs felt like jelly now as he was just lying there, slowly moving his hand from around himself to rest on his lower belly instead, ignoring the messy smear of cum for a second as he tried to get his heart beat to slow down. "That was so good… you okay?"

"I'm fine, I… you're a pretty good… demonstrator." Liam laughed as well, he didn't seem freaked out or anything and that was the main thing for Niall right now, he had wanted to do this, yeah, but if Liam had lost his mind afterwards he wouldn't have even been able to really calm him down as they weren't even together right now.

"Thanks, much appreciated… and you're a natural, I suppose." Seriously though, he had right caught up with Niall, it was like when they had sex in real life, Liam would always get more confident and take the overhand, maybe saying a dirty thing or two, but still, this was different and yet it had worked out so well. "Next time… we should make it a Skype date. A naked one."

"I… maybe we should." Liam agreed after a moment of hesitation, joining when Niall laughed yet again, he was in a really good mood right now, his sleepiness almost completely forgotten.

"Good, I can't wait…. I'm gonna go and clean myself up… I'll put you on speaker." Doing this with one hand would be a bit hard, so Niall made sure to put the brunette on speaker before switching on his bedside table lamp after leaving the phone on his mattress, looking down at himself afterwards, quickly releasing that he was gonna need water for that. 

"Yeah, me too, I… can you still hear me?" Maybe they should have just hung up, but somehow neither of them suggested that, so they simply had each other on speaker to have their hands free and though Liam's voice was a bit numbed now, the blonde could still hear him pretty well.

"Yep… shit, I think I got it on my sheets." Or maybe not, Niall wasn't quite sure, but he heard Liam laughing in the background as he examined his mattress before deciding that he was just gonna ignore that. It was way too late to change his bed now. 

"Maybe the bed wasn't the best idea then." Maybe, but Niall could imagine worse places for his cum to be, somewhere he couldn't just simply wash it out from, the wall for example or… or the kitchen towel. Shit, he still needed to wash that one as well. 

"Maybe… I'm open for suggestions for next time, you know." This was definitely not the las time they had done this, by far, because now that Niall knew they both enjoyed this, he saw no reason why they shouldn't be doing this like… every single day? He was walking to the bathroom now, with Liam still being on speaker and moving around as well, making a hell lot of noise in his attempt to clean himself up i the background.

"I… I'm gonna think about it. But I thought you were the professional, not me." Niall snorted while trying to get himself clean with some toilet paper and water once he was in the bathroom, his new phone lying safely next to the sink. He definitely was gonna watch out a whole lot better for that one than for any of his previous phones. 

"I just said I've done this before, it's not really… my preferred method, you know? But seeing as we have no other choice… " And also seeing as Niall somehow really wanted to keep on doing dirty things with Liam specifically, they were gonna have to make compromises. "I think Skype would still be a good option as well, do you have anything planned for tomorrow night? Or wait… it's not night for you, it's in the middle of the day, you dirty boy."

"At night would be early morning for you though, we're 8 hours apart, Niall." He simply ignored the last part, maybe embarrassed, but Niall still realized that he was right, still a bit surprised though because 8 hours was a lot. "But this works fine, if… if I don't have to be somewhere."

"If you do then I can just skip my classes." For phone sex, yeah, that sounded pretty normal. 

"For… this?" Liam asked, probably thinking that Niall was bloody insane but the blonde was definitely up for actually doing that, he was skipping all the time because of nothing at all, at least then he'd have a reason.

"Sure." And then, just because this had maybe come off a bit rude but also because it was very true after all, Niall added the second part. "But also because I like when we just talk on the phone, like right now, it's a better before bed activity than not doing my homework and watching porn."

"And you're calling me dirty… " Liam mumbled, making Niall laugh as he finally finished up cleaning himself, about to leave the bathroom when he realized he really had to pee before going back to bed.

"I'm joking, I barely ever watch porn actually. I do like watching movies though, by myself though because Harry's taste in movies is _terrible_ and if he does agree to watching one I like then he keeps making side comments every five seconds, it's annoying." Was it weird to take a piss while Liam was on speaker? Well, Niall was about to find out.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, I… " Interrupting himself, Liam was maybe questioning the background noises because he abruptly stopped talking, his voice sounding more than just shocked as he continued after a moment of hesitation. "Are you using the toilet right now?! I'm on speaker, Niall, I can hear everything!"

"I have a really weak bladder, okay?" Niall tried to defend himself, chuckling to himself as Liam continued mumbling something into his phone, that Niall was disgusting and stuff like that, and yet… yet he never thought about simply hanging up the phone.

The fact that they could simply talk normally to each other like that after having phone sex was really nice though. Niall was more than glad that Liam had gotten over this whole thing, that he was allowing himself to have some fun now without losing his mind over it. Especially because talking to him was so easy and fun, it was great having a friend Niall trusted who was also ready to do more with him, neither of them having to worry about any consequences.

Once Niall was done in the bathroom and Liam had calmed down about the peeing thing, the blonde got back into bed with the lights turned off in an attempt to make himself sleepy again, not quite sure whether this was gonna work out now after what had happened, but he could sleep in tomorrow anyways.

They didn't really talk about what they had done, both knowing that the other had enjoyed it and that was what Niall liked the most, that they simply went back to talking about other stuff, like friends would do. And yet, Niall had never had a friend like that before and he was enjoying the hell out of it.

"Is it normal that my phone is getting hot or am I doing something wrong?" An hour or two had passed and Niall had already gotten up to get food and then gotten back into bed, but it still didn't feel like a lot of time had passed, they had a steady conversation going after all.

"It's because we've been talking for so long, don't worry… aren't you tired though? How late is it?" Not that late actually, but Niall still had to check before being able to tell Liam, pretty sure that he would have long passed out had they not had such essential discussions about movies and football. 

"It's almost 1 in the morning… and no, not really, a little bit, but tomorrow's sunday anyways. Do you have a concert tonight?" Somehow Niall caught himself wishing that Liam didn't have one, even though they couldn't possibly keep on talking for another three or more hours.

"Yeah, I do, but it's only at 9 anyways, you'll probably have slept in before that." Hopefully, because how exactly would Niall have explained to Harry that he had stayed up the whole night talking to Liam and doing exactly what he had told his best friend they didn't do? "Just tell me if you wanna sleep, okay?"

"I'm not that tired though… Tell me again about how you met David Beckham." Niall demanded then, because he still couldn't believe that story, or any story about Liam meeting other celebrities, it seemed so surreal but the older man didn't hesitate to answer any of Niall's questions or tell him whatever he asked for, so the blonde wasn't trying to hold back.

It went on like that, for maybe another hour, until it was more Liam telling Niall stories with the blonde barely answering, his eyes falling closed sometimes, also because it was pretty dark in the room, and he found that Liam's voice was rather calming and nice to listen to while lying in bed.

Though Niall tried his hardest to stay awake, he eventually did nod off to Liam promising that he would get him Michael Bublé's autograph if he ever met him and the last thing Niall could think of before falling asleep was that he was more than glad for being able to call Liam over the internet because his phone bill would've exploded if they kept this up like he intended to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey idk if a lot of you are enjoying the story because everyone somehow stopped talking to me so i'm a bit unsure. just let me know if theres anything with this story? id appreciate the feedback, i always love talking to you guys and it really motivates me to update on time, so sorry if i've been lacking, i have a lot to do this semester at uni and i'm really trying my best.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a worryingly uneventful time ever since Niall had left three and a half weeks ago.

Sure, Liam had freaked the hell out after their time together, alone in his hotel room, something he would have never ever confessed in front of anybody, but especially not the blonde boy. He kinda hated how much he was enjoying all of this, how he had let Niall throw himself onto him and shove his tongue down his throat, and how he had allowed him to get onto his knees and suck Liam off. Or how they had done way, _way_ more later up in Liam's hotel room, and then how they had had sex _again_.

While Niall had still been there, it had kinda seemed alright, because he had this calming aura around him, but as soon as Liam had hugged him goodbye, things had quickly changed. It was like Liam didn't even know himself anymore, he shouldn't have been enjoying any of this as much as he was, or think about Niall as much as he did but he just couldn't fucking stop or even talk to anyone about it without either spilling the whole secret or embarrassing himself.

Of course Louis was being suspicious, ever since Liam had asked him for Niall's address to send him a quite expensive phone for his birthday, like… maybe Liam shouldn't have, but honestly, he liked Niall, he considered them good friends and maybe… maybe he also felt a little bit guilty. 

Not that he was forcing the blonde into anything, far from it, but Liam still saw himself as slightly more responsible, and also, if any of this somehow got public, if people would recognize Niall on these blurry pictures they had of him, it surely wouldn't be his life that would get a whole bunch more dramatic. Sure, media would be all over it, but it wouldn't be anything unusual for someone like Liam. For a normal college student on the other hand…

Still, despite all of his worries, Liam couldn't help but keep on texting Niall, or talk to him on the phone, be more than happy about how much the blonde liked his present, so much that he didn't even try to resist when the blonde had somehow come up with the idea of having to explain phone sex to Liam.

Surely, that was one of the strangest things Liam had ever done, which said a lot considering where he was at in life. But they had hooked up too many times already as for him to feel guilty about _this_ , it's not like he wasn't loving it, not like he wasn't somehow feeling less lonely ever since all of this had happened. Who would have said no though, honestly? Who would've told someone they found pretty attractive and who they got along with that they couldn't have phone sex every second night? Or do it via Skype so that they could actually see each other as well?

Liam surely couldn't, he was in too deep now, it wasn't much like him at all, but he felt like it was too late to pull back so he might as well go along and enjoy it, right? Or at least that was what he told himself to feel better, for the past weeks, ever since Niall had left. And yet, though the boy was gone, Liam somehow felt they had gotten even closer, because whenever they weren't getting off together, they were literally talking about _anything_ by now, up until the point where Liam could have probably named every single childhood pet that Niall had ever had. And there were quite a few as he obviously had had a tendency to accidentally kill them off which they should have never been talking about for more than half an hour, over FaceTime, with both of them lying in bed, Niall in only boxer shorts, but somehow they had done it anyways.

"Paynooo… let's do something." Louis' had been bugging Liam for hours now, they were sat in the back of the tour bus, having attempted to continue writing on a song they had both struggled with but quickly given up on it once they had realized that they were going into completely different directions. Sometimes it wasn't as easy to come up with good lyrics as it seemed, not even for Louis Tomlinson.

"Like what? We're gonna be on the bus for the next few hours, we can't do anything except watch TV or-"

"No, we're not gonna watch TV, you'll put on that stupid movie again and I can't stand it." True, they had been watching for like 15 minutes before with Louis complaining the whole time that Liam was boring until the brunette had had to remind his best friend that this was _his_ tour bus so then Louis had simply turned the TV off altogether. And now they were here. "Who forgets their Xbox, Liam, honestly?"

"I already told you I'm sorry, it's on the other bus, we'll survive a while without." Or maybe not. "We could also try and finish that song."

"Nah, I don't wanna force it or it won't be good. It'd be like that one song you wrote after your family dog died." Liam had to roll his eyes at this, shortly thinking about glaring at Louis across the massive couch they were both lying on before deciding that it wasn't worth it anyways. 

"We've had him since I was little, he was part of our family, Lou, I was really depressed." Just to defend himself a little bit here, because Liam had been quite sad for a while, even though, _yes_ the song had really sucked, but he had been feeling really emotional for a month or so. "Anyways, what else do you wanna do? I can't even offer you a beer, I think the fridge is empty."

"I know." Now it was Louis' time to sigh before sitting up, readjusting his shirt a little bit before looking down at Liam, who was still on his back, phone lying on his chest, actually not as bored as Louis claimed to be the whole time. Then again, Liam was also doing a lot more during the day than his best friend and last night's concert had ended really late as well, which didn't go too well with having to get up early the next morning. "Maybe I'll call my mum."

"Again?" Louis did call his mother quite often whenever he was on tour with Liam, even more than Liam himself, but Louis had only flown out three days ago so it's not like they had been apart for a long time. Other than Liam and his family, he hadn't seen them ever since he had gotten to America as they didn't really like long flights, which he respected, but he still got homesick once a while. Especially when none of his friends came to visit either. "What am I gonna do then?"

"I don't know, suggest something." Maybe Louis regretted coming, Liam wasn't sure, though they had had fun the last few days, he couldn't help wishing Niall would've been here as well and then immediately started feeling guilty for even having that thought. But they were friends and they hadn't seen each other in real life in more than three weeks, it's not that Liam was… sex obsessed all of a sudden or anything, but talking and hanging with Niall was… easy. Plus he and Louis would've probably gotten along brilliantly as well. 

"We could like… play a game or something." Right, maybe that hadn't been the best suggestion, it's just, Liam would've also been fine with taking a short nap right now. 

"What game?" Louis let out a laugh that had Liam's cheeks going a little bit flushed, then again though, it was just the two of them here anyways. "Like a 20 questions game or something? I'm pretty sure I already know all of your dirty, little secrets already, Li."

Wrong, he didn't even know half of them and NOW Liam blushed for real, in the worst moment possible. "No, I… I don't know, I was just making suggestions. We could also, like… do something else, I-"

"No, wait, now I've got an idea." Oh no, why had Liam ever opened his mouth, he could have just slept while Louis went to call his mum. "I'll let you text something from my phone and then I get to do the same with yours."

"Wh- we're not 15, Louis." Liam's stomach actually turned at this idea as he pushed himself into a sitting position, possessively grabbing hold of his phone, just in case, not very comfortable with how close Louis was. If his best friend ever only got a glimpse onto the text message Liam had exchanged with Niall, he could as well just confess everything here and now. 

"Have you got something to hide, Payno?" YES?!

"No, I don't, just… that's stupid, we're not doing that. You just wanna get into my text messages, don't think I don't know you." Obviously, that would've been the whole purpose, luckily Louis just laughed it off easily, giving Liam a tiny second to try and relax. This was fine, Louis had just been joking anyways… right? He wasn't _really_ suspicious of Liam's behavior, was he? 

"I'm pretty sure there's nothing interesting to find there, Liam. Most texts are probably to your mum and your sisters anyways, am I right?" No, he wasn't, and Liam almost protested but then he realized last second how dumb he would have been to give his best friend more ideas, so he just rolled his eyes under Louis' smirk, trying to act caught.

"You're one to talk, Tommo." As if Louis wasn't the biggest Momma's boy around, but Liam of course wouldn't say that if he didn't want his best friend on top of him stealing his phone just to read every text message out loud that Liam had ever received from his own mother. Because that had happened, way too many times. 

"I have a lot more sisters than you, that's hardly a fair comparison. Reminds me, I need you to sign a shirt or something, Daisy and Phoebe are going to some birthday party and they need a present for their friend. Or you could make that girl _really_ happy and make a video for her, whatever you want." Obviously Liam had met every member of Louis' family, had gotten them tickets and backstage passes, also for his little sister's friends, who were all really big fans and it was cute, Liam had to admit that, sometimes he really wished he would have had younger siblings himself.

"Yeah, sure. But I think I should probably wait until I showered and changed, don't wanna destroy anyone's dreams." They had been on the bus for quite a while and Liam was sure he probably looked like it, also, his shirt had a hole or three and a few stains, it was hard always putting on fresh clothes when he had been on tour for that long. 

"Thanks, man." This time it was a genuine smile before Louis put his hand on Liam's leg for the split of a second, his face quickly changing again though as he leaned back once more, suddenly smirking a bit too mischievously for Liam's liking. "So where were we at? Your text messages?"

"I think we were already at yours, actually." There was NO way Liam was ever gonna let Louis see any of his texts ever again, not because his and Niall's text messages were particularly dirty or anything, they didn't write these things obviously, but they were still personal and Liam didn't need anyone making fun of him for trying to help the blonde with his essays. Not that he wrote a lot of essays anyways, but once a while he would actually attempt to do his homework and since Liam was trying to be encouraging, of course he always offered his help. Even if he was even worse at it than Niall.

"Well, if you desperately want to then you can read them, you know, got nothing to hide from my best friend." The last part was obviously a hint, but Liam simply pretended that he hadn't heard anything, still holding on tightly to his phone though, just in case, even though Louis was suddenly busy with his own, as if he could somehow convince Liam to play along with his stupid game like that. "Let's see…. the last text message I sent was… okay that's boring it was to my hair dresser."

"Why are you texting your hair dresser?" Now it was Liam's turn to laugh, the older man just shrugged, still scrolling through his messages, obviously not phased by Liam's amusement.

"Maybe you should consult a hair dresser once a while as well, just saying." Before Liam could protest and try to rub the fact that he had a personal stylist into Louis' face, his best friend was already continuing, as if this was the most normal activity in the world. "Oh, this one's good, I almost forgot, Harry texted me this really weird picture of Niall before."

"I-What?" Okay, now it was over with Liam's fake calmness because he literally shot up into a straight position, eyes going wide as he stared at Louis' face, who looked like this was nothing out of order, still chuckling over the picture obviously, until he saw Liam's face.

"What what? You still know who Harry and Niall are, right? You sent that boy a phone for his birthday a few weeks ago, it'd be worrying if you forgot." Honestly though, Liam was so confused and so taken off guard that his brain froze for a moment, mouth dropping a little open as he desperately searched for an answer that would somehow make him not look so completely stupid. But… what the hell?!

"I… I know, but… I didn't know that… that you were still texting Harry or that… that you ever texted him at all. I thought it was just… occasional twitter DMs." How strange was that?! Not even Niall knew about this because he surely would have told Liam, what on earth had gotten into Louis anyways? Since when did he do stuff like this? 

"Well, it was only that, but he's quite funny and nice so I gave him my number and we talk sometimes. Why are you so surprised? You had a one night stand with that boy's best friend and then you sent him an iPhone, I don't think you're in a position to judge, Liam." Well, true.

"I'm not _judging_ you, I just… I'm surprised." Not sure if positively or negatively, Liam still couldn't wrap his head around this though, he had never considered that maybe him and Niall weren't the only ones with a secret. Not that he suspected Harry and Louis having phone sex or skyping almost every day with their clothes off, but the fact alone that Louis would give his phone number to someone who was practically a fan was quite extraordinary.

"So am I." Well, see, this was why Liam should have just kept his mouth shut and pretended not to be affected by this in any way, because it actually wasn't Louis who was hiding something, he obviously had no problem talking about it either. "I mean… you and Niall seem to be really good friends by now. And I never ask you about it because I know that you'd either deny it or get mad at me, but it's not because I don't know about it."

"We're just… " Yeah, what? What were they? Fuck buddies, like Niall had called it when they had both been drunk? Or just friends with… benefits? Liam wasn't quite sure himself, so it was even harder now with Louis sitting there, he quickly lowered his eyes, absently playing with the strings of his sweatpants as he tried to figure out how exactly this conversation had turned around to be about him instead. 

"It's fine, Li. Just because you had sex with him two months ago when you were smashed doesn't mean you can't be friends. And just because I was trying to hook you two up doesn't mean I'm gonna try and forever rub it into your face that you only got to know him thanks to me. I'll only do it for a few weeks, promise." Of course Louis laughed and Liam tried to somewhat join, but he felt blood streaming into face, suddenly getting nervous, as if it written right across his forehead or something. "Why're you so embarrassed now? It's not exactly a crime to have friends outside the business, you know."

"I know, just… I don't know, I… maybe I was a bit worried that… you'd try and rub it into my face. Or that…. you'd keep on trying to hook us up or so." No reason for that anymore because they already had seen each other naked way, way too many times. 

"Of course I'll rub it into your face, Payno, 's my job." His voice didn't sound mean though, Liam could hear the smile but it didn't help him to relax really, he hadn't been prepared for this kinda conversation. Like yeah, he knew that Louis had probably suspected that he was still in contact with Niall, but they had barely talked about any of this during the past few weeks. "I mean, you do have to admit that I wasn't doing too bad, was I? You obviously get along great, and I'm not here to play match maker… even though I would, if you needed my help to-"

"No, no, thanks, I… I'm good." Not in the sense Louis probably thought, but… "We're… just friends."

"Pretty good friends if you're sending him expensive gifts. And if you're still talking after two months… and you call him too, don't you? Harry kinda mentioned that once." Honestly, why was Liam even trying to talk himself out of this, it wasn't a crime after all, right? To be friends? So why was his face on fire?

"I mean… sometimes, yeah." Sometimes or more like, every day, Liam felt bad for lying but he couldn't have exactly told Louis the truth so he kept staring into his lap and playing with his fingers, desperately hoping that maybe the bus would arrive like 2 hours earlier than expected. "It's kinda… I mean it's nice 'cos he doesn't like… give a single fuck who I am and… yeah."

"See? I told you that you'd thank me for hooking you up." When Louis elbowed Liam into the ribs it kind of actually hurt, but the younger man tried to ignore it, not rubbing the spot like he wanted to, not wanting anymore attention on him than necessary. Which was stupid considering the fact that he was the only one Louis' whole attention was on anyways. "And I'm happy too that I randomly gave those VIP passes to Harry, he's fun and I was a bit suspicious at first but he hasn't once been talking about any of this on twitter so I really trust these two. Actually… "

"What?" As soon as Louis stopped talking, Liam turned his head, kinda confused but more scared, especially when he saw his best friend's eyes lightening up, as if he had just heard the best news ever.

"I just got the best fucking idea." Immediately after it was out, the very worst ideas were popping into Liam's head, his mouth already open to protest against anything that Louis was gonna suggest now, but he honestly wouldn't have ever expected it to be what it turned out to be in the end, because honestly… the turn this whole thing had taken was a bit too much for him to internalize. "I mean, your tour's almost over anyways, and since it's only us two right now and none of the other guys can come out, why don't we ask Harry and Niall to come? Over the last weekend, they could even fly back with us on sunday, I mean, maybe they'd miss a day at college or something, but they'd survive, right? 'm pretty sure they'd be stoked."

"I… " Liam was speechless, like, not that it hadn't come to his mind to fly Niall out, but he hadn't really been able to because of obvious reasons, but… now Louis actually wanted them to come? And he could just say it like that with the brightest grin on his face while Liam still had trouble just saying Niall's name? 

"Just say it, I know it's a brilliant idea. Maybe Niall even gets over his hate for your songs." Right, about that… "C'mon, Li, it'll be fun, no one knows who they are, we''ll be careful so you won't have to freak out over anything and we'll have a blast. I'll call Harry and ask, okay?"

"But… " Liam hadn't even agreed, his brain was kind of empty, yet somewhere in the back of his mind he was buzzing, more excited than he should have been and he wanted to agree immediately, wanted to offer that he could call Niall instead, but he was so shocked over how things had turned out that he just blurted out with the dumbest shit ever while Louis had already unlocked his phone. "It's… it's really late for them right now, what if they're sl-"

"Then they'll have to get up now, simple." The older man shrugged, already decided, there was no reason to protest against any of this, Liam barely even had any time to wonder whether Louis and Harry talked on the phone as often as Liam and Niall did because he was already slightly distracted when Harry seemed to have picked up after only one second. As if he had been waiting or something. "Hi, Harry, what's up?"

This was strange, like not that the conversation seemed forced or anything, the complete opposite actually. Louis was talking to him like he would have talked to Liam as well and though of course Liam felt the same way whenever he talked to Niall, but he would have never ever expected the same from his best friend. He wasn't usually on such a friendly basis with people who… who basically were his _fans_.

"Yeah… nothin' really, 'm on the bus with Liam. Pretty boring actually." He winked at Liam, who was just glaring at his friend before staring back down at his phone, kinda considering just asking Niall himself so he wouldn't feel so stupid but it seemed to be barely necessary anymore now. "Listen, is Niall anywhere near you? Me and Liam thought it'd be cool if you guys could come out for his last shows next weekend…. why does that matter, you won't have to pay for anything anyways."

Right, because Liam was gonna pay everything for both of them, not that he minded or anything, just… well, putting it in a nice way, and he did feel bad for thinking about it, but… he would have rather only Niall came. And Louis would fly back home in return, but… nothing he could have really said out loud, could he? Besides, he felt like a horrible friend imaging this but he felt even _worse_ for wanting Niall to come so badly all of a sudden, like, it was almost embarrassing that he was suddenly so damn excited. And it wasn't even that he wanted to have sex with him or snog him or whatever, just… it was like not seeing a good friend for a long time, and if it wouldn't have been embarrassing as shit right now, Liam would have probably smiled at the thought of seeing Niall again soon. For real this time, not only through a computer screen

"…. so what'd you say?" The grin forming on Louis' face was enough, Liam honestly tried his hardest to keep a straight expression but he couldn't help that stupid belly flop when it became pretty clear that Harry had just agreed. Shit, why was he so bloody happy about seeing Niall and why was Louis able to show his own emotions so clearly yet Liam had to pretend that he didn't fucking care?! "Sick. You can miss a day at uni, right? 's not that strict or anything?"

At this question, Liam almost had to let out a laugh, suddenly feeling a bit better as he thought about how much more he knew about Harry's and Niall's college. Then again, that probably was nothing to be proud of anyways.

"Yeah, sure…. yeah…. no, trust me, I… wait." Putting the phone away slightly, Louis' eyes suddenly landed on Liam, hopefully not thinking anything of the tiny smile that had formed on his face without him noticing. "Li, can you please tell Harry that you don't mind flying them out?"

Just to tease Louis, Liam should have probably joked saying that he did in fact mind, but his jokes never really came across that well and also, maybe Niall was listening in the background as well, so he spoke extra loudly, just in case. "I don't mind at all… I'll even book them first class if they want."

There was a huge grin on Louis' face as he started talking to Harry again, obviously having no idea why Liam had just said what he had, certainly not to please his best friend or to make Harry happy. But rather a little bit, or a lot, because of what Niall had told him, the claustrophobia thing and all, because the thought of the blonde not feeling well and not being all happy and smiley was somehow a very disturbing image to Liam. Well… and maybe he was also doing it a tiny bit because of other reasons.

Louis kept on talking to Harry for way longer than necessary, after a while they weren't even working out the details anymore, they were simply going over to just talking about their days, boring Liam to death yet somehow making him feel a little bit jealous as well. 

As he was just about to text Niall, just to see whether the blonde had already agreed as well, because you new knew right, and that the excitement he tried so desperately to cover up with a straight face wasn't for nothing, the blonde kinda took that chance from Liam, his phone vibrating almost the second he had been about to open up his messages,

 

_Niall 06:13 pm_

_sooo…. am i bringing the condoms or? ;) kiddin! gonna shit my pants im really excited!!!_

 

Hell, how exactly had this boy managed to not even get Liam to blush anymore over text messages like these, but rather make him smile like a fucking idiot and walk to the bathroom just so that he could be happy about seeing Niall in private? Not sure if he even wanted to know, right now it was excuse enough for Liam that they hadn't seen each other in almost a month. And it was perfectly acceptable to miss your friends after such a long time… right?

 

————————

 

"… and I still hate you, just so you know." Not only was Niall grumpy due to tiredness, but he was also really, really hungry, and above all that, he was fucking annoyed, had been for the past few hours to be honest. Maybe he wasn't made for flights longer than an hour after all.

"Cheer up, Niall, we're in _New York_ , can you bloody believe that?!" That was the about the 50th time Harry had expressed his excitement way too loudly into Niall's ear during the whole flight, even more frequently so when they had been about to land, and now that they were lining up to get off the airplane, he was obviously gonna piss his pants soon. "Don't be so ungrateful, Ni, Liam must've paid a lot for these seats. You're acting like he flies you out all the time or something."

"Yeah, right." Niall rolled his eyes, not finding it very hard right now to act completely normal, Liam had only flown him out once before that after all, that wasn't _all the time_. "'m just tired, okay? And you didn't let me sleep even though I told you I couldn't fall asleep last night."

"That excited to see Liam, huh?" The grin on Harry's face as he turned his head around to wink at the blonde boy almost got Niall angry, instead he just glared for a second before running a hand through his hair. He had long given up on looking somewhat presentable.

"I'm not the one almost weeing myself. Maybe this time Liam's gonna sign something for you?" Of course it was just banter, after all, it wasn't Liam who Harry seemed to be bloody obsessed with but Niall didn't really want to get into that, especially not because then maybe he'd have to admit that he was honestly itching to see Liam again. 

When Louis had called Harry to basically invite them over to New York a few days ago, Niall had thought he hadn't heard right. First of all, he had had no idea Louis and Harry were that close, and second of all… he hadn't expected his own reaction to consist of pure excitement and nothing but happiness about being able to see Liam again, in person.

Yeah, Niall missed the sex, he had had sex with other people in the meantime of course, nothing he'd ever tell the brunette man about though, it didn't seem appropriate, even if they were rather good friends. But also, none of these people had done his nights with Liam justice, it wasn't as exciting and they weren't as good at kissing as Liam or they would let Niall do the whole job or… or they simply weren't so easy to get along with as the brunette.

It wasn't only the sex of course, it was also purely exciting not having to pay one pound and be flown out to New York to see one of his friends, they were gonna have an absolute blast, Niall was 100% sure of that. Certain things were gonna be a bit hard with Louis and Harry around, but Niall was determined to have the time of his life, even if he was feeling a bit sleepy and grumpy now. Somehow he was sure that all of that would pass once they arrived at Liam's hotel. 

"Who's picking us up again?" Harry was like a toddler or something, it was a tiny bit annoying, but Niall had managed to survive the past few hours, he was gonna survive walking off a plane and through an airport with his best friend.

"Paddy. Liam's bodyguard." Who had been sworn to secrecy, just like the rest of the crew, as Liam had promised Niall last night when they had skyped. Of course no one knew about them hooking up, but having anyone find out now that this wasn't the first time Niall had joined Liam on tour wouldn't have been very beneficial for any of them. 

"How'd he know who we are? We could have killed the real Harry and Niall and just tried to meet Liam." Typical Harry, Niall ignored the comment though as he somewhat gently pushed his best friend forward to move down the aisle, people behind them already starting to complain.

"I've met him before, at the bar two months ago." Seemed like a lifetime now.

"But that was ages ago, how'd he still know what you look like?" Very good question, actually, maybe Niall should have panicked but he just shrugged instead before remembering that Harry couldn't see him when he was walking in front of him.

"Liam said he knows, I'm not too worried." Better blame it all on Liam, by the rate Harry's attention was jumping from one thing to the other, he would have already forgotten all about it in a second again anyways, as soon as they'd step outside probably. Not like none of this was affecting Niall as well, he was excited too, couldn't believe that they were here of course, but he was not in the best mood after that flight. Also, he was trying to keep it down, not wanting anyone to notice how he happy he really was about being here. He'd let Liam know, but only once they were alone.

Since they didn't bring any suitcases or anything, they didn't have any baggage to reclaim, which turned out to be not that helpful after all because they still got lost on their way outside. Niall decided after a while to just let Harry talk and not answer anymore but instead try to figure out how exactly he was expected to behave around Liam now with the other two around. Should he even hug him? But it'd seem ungrateful not to and he didn't want to hurt Liam after all, he always seemed so easily hurt already, Niall didn't have to push it. Besides, a hug didn't exactly scream 'We're fucking', right? Well, he was about to find that out.

After about 45 minutes of getting off the airplane, they finally managed to leave the airport through some exit, probably not the one they had been supposed to go through, but after Harry had remembered that he needed a piss 10 minutes after they had passed the toilets, Niall wasn't in the mood anymore to care. 

"Where are we supposed to go?" Harry still hadn't calmed down, actually, his eyes seemed like they might pop out now that they were outside and they weren't even close to being inside the city yet. 

"I don't know, wait… Liam texted me some directions last night, he said his bodyguard can't wait for us at the gate because it'd be too obvious and someone might see him." Which Niall would have found strange a month ago, but now he knew too well that walking around with Liam's bodyguard and entering a hotel was probably almost as bad as walking around with Liam himself. Maybe not quite. "Hmmm… I think… I think we are in the wrong place… "

"What does the guy look like? Big and dark hair and looking like he might want to kill someone?" It was a bit distracting to have Harry asking so many questions when Niall was trying to figure out Liam's text messages from yesterday, so captivated that he barely even noticed his best friend's voice getting a bit weird.

"Umm… yeah, maybe." Niall wasn't supposed to know exactly what Liam's bodyguard looked like, so he pretended not to be sure while rereading the texts, getting more confused by the second. Well, until Harry elbowed his ribs rather roughly. "Wh-"

"Just asking because then it's the guy coming towards us right now." Oh.

Taken off guard, Niall's head immediately snapped as he followed the direction Harry's eyes were going, not having to search for very long before he saw Paddy coming towards them, with sunglasses on, probably to hide his face or something, but the blonde was still pretty sure that the man's eyes were on him only. And that probably was annoyance written across his face rather than a plan to kill them. It's not that he was an ass or anything, Niall understood very well what was going on, but all he could do was hope that Liam's bodyguard wasn't gonna spill anything to Harry and that he would at one point stop thinking that Niall was a fan or a groupie who was gonna take pictures of Liam sleeping and reveal his darkest secrets to the media. 

Before Niall could confirm that this was indeed who they had been looking for, Paddy had already stopped in front of them, not bothering to take his sunglasses off or letting Harry finish when he had opened his mouth. Good. "Harry and…. Niall?"

It was maybe a bit obvious, how he was trying to pretend that he didn't know Niall, but the blonde still felt relief spreading in his chest as he smiled a bit, trying to be more cheerful now. He was gonna see Liam soon, that was something to be happy about, even if he felt like passing out any second. "Yeah, that's us, um… that's Harry, and I'm Niall."

"… Right." Paddy answered after some hesitation, his eyes probably resting a bit too long on Niall but the boy couldn't quite tell, he was just glad that this seemed to be working out better than expected. "Follow me, we've got a car waiting over there, it's better if we hurry a bit."

"Are they gonna rip us to pieces otherwise?" Apparently, Harry had decided to crack jokes now as they followed Paddy and Niall couldn't help but roll his eyes at his friend, knowing that he was excited but still not feeling like playing along right now. 

"Well, they certainly wouldn't rip _you_ to pieces." Only Liam's bodyguard, obviously, but it was still enough for Harry to shove Niall a bit, actually making him laugh because of how pouty he had gotten because of this. And he also managed to cause Paddy to get even more annoyed than he had already been to begin with.

Niall wasn't very surprised that he and Harry sat alone in the backseat once they got to the car, or that Harry hadn't taken the hint and kept asking Liam's bodyguard very weird questions that didn't really lead to any clear answers. Still, it was a way for Niall to close his eyes for just a bit, as he wasn't the one being talked to and because he knew that the car ride would be pretty long as well. Not that he wasn't excited to see Liam, but he was also terribly tired and a tiny nap would have surely not hurt anybody, right?

Wrong.

There was a whole bunch of traffic obviously, besides the fact that they would have needed quite some time if there hadn't, but it only seemed like 5 minutes to Niall before Harry was shaking his shoulder, taking a bit too loudly into his ear about how he needed to wake up because they were already there. "Nialler… c'mon, don't be boring, we're at the hotel and you're too heavy to carry."

"'m awake… " Niall mumbled, rubbing his eyes a bit as he suppressed a yaw, for the first time really looking outside the window and trying to somehow act a bit less sleepy, the only thing really motivating him to even sit up straight being the fact that he was literally minutes from seeing Liam. Well, provided there were't too many people in front of the hotel. "… can we go inside?"

"I d-"

"Yeah, you can, just waiting to figure the situation out. It's probably better if you go without me, there's a few fans, so it'll be better, someone else is gonna meet you inside and take you upstairs." Paddy didn't let Harry finish, but he did freak Niall out a bit, especially because he was scared someone might recognize him from last time or something, in front of Harry, which would've really… been the worst scenario to happen. "Just go inside quickly, it'll be fine."

"Okay, uh… thanks." Okay, now, this wasn't what Niall had hoped for, but at least he didn't feel like passing out anymore as he and Harry threw a bit of a worried look at each other before climbing out of the car with the tinted windows, from the other side of the road, so it wouldn't be too obvious. But it's not like anyone knew them, it was just a little bit freaky to consider all of this and really take it in, to once again be reminded that it wasn't exactly normal for someone like Liam and Louis to simply invite people like Niall and Harry to another continent. 

"This is crazy… " Harry breathed out as they approached the hotel entrance, both of them trying to act naturally, even though they probably would have never seemed like normal guests in a hotel like this one, not with their backpacks and jeans and hoodies. And especially not to all these girls waiting on the sidewalk, sitting on the ground, obviously not allowed to go inside, it almost got Niall scared that they would be stopped as well.

Some fans did look up when they walked up to the main entrance, Niall tried not to stare at them, but he couldn't help that some things caught his eye, for example the shirts with Liam's face on or the phone cases with different images of him and the blankets they had brought. As if they were sleeping out here or something, waiting for Liam to come outside, which he probably wouldn't, it didn't take a genius to see that he'd die if he stepped outside of that hotel.

Fortunately enough, the guard at the door quickly let them pass after asking for their names, not loud enough for everyone to hear, but Niall was certainly aware of all the talking behind them before it promptly got cut off when the doors closed behind them, leaving them standing in the biggest entrance hall Niall had ever seen. This was even bigger and more expensive looking than the LA hotel and that really said something.

"Shit… this is unreal. Can't believe he _really_ flew us out… " Nodding to Harry's obvious excitement, Niall could only stare, once again a bit speechless after being confronted with all of this at once, even though he should have already known. It's just, talking to Liam and skyping him for a month and then seeing his face on some girl's shirt were two things that didn't really go together in Niall's head. But who would've been able to take this in, like really?

There was another guy, another one of Liam's bodyguard's Niall assumed, that immediately came over to introduce himself, again asking for their names before leading them to the elevators. It was a good thing that Niall was 99% sure that at least this guy hadn't seen Niall when he had come to LA. 

They didn't speak much all the way to Liam's hotel room, Harry sometimes whispered a few things to Niall, about how amazing the hotel was and about how excited he was, as if he wasn't allowed to speak in a normal voice, and the blonde would just nod and silently agree, his heart suddenly starting to bump that tiny bit faster the closer they got.

Liam's hotel room was almost on the top floor and then all the way down the aisle, the bodyguard led them there quickly but Niall still couldn't help feeling a little bit impatient. At the same time though, he felt himself getting slightly nervous as well, because he hadn't figured out yet what to do or what to say, it would've been so easy had it just been him and Liam, but now that the other two were there, it really gave Niall some internal trouble on deciding how to behave.

When the bodyguard knocked on the door for them before stepping back with a smile, Niall still hadn't figured it out, so he was just hoping that Harry was still too captivated and too excited as to notice that the blonde had started to feel slightly uneasy. Well, only for two seconds though, because that's about how long it took before a very shirtless Louis opened the door, the grin on his face so big that Niall was briefly wondering if it hurt him. "Hey, guys, welcome to Liam's crib."

Really, Niall tried to roll his eyes and make a joke, but he had no chance really, because before anyone had really answered, Liam had popped up next to his best friend, fully clothed though, and actually looking very well put together as his eyes immediately settled on Niall, a soft smile spreading on his lips. Okay, screw the point where Niall had thought about not hugging him. "Hey."

Honestly, the blonde didn't know what Harry or Louis were doing, if they were talking or hugging, because he honestly didn't really think about much as he automatically returned Liam's smile, his tiredness and grumpiness forgotten as soon as Liam honestly stepped outside into the hallways just to hug Niall, not even giving him a choice. Good.

It was a bit awkward, because they had an audience but also because of Niall's backpack, but it didn't stop them from hugging a bit longer than necessary anyways. Liam smelled good, like always, his arms were firm around Niall and the blonde couldn't have stopped smiling even if he had wanted to. Seeing and touching him again after a month was more intense than Niall would have imagined, maybe he was holding on a bit too tightly and maybe his stomach shouldn't have twisted like that, but not seeing a friend for so long required a firm hug, right?

"Hi… " Niall finally answered while they were still holding onto each other, forcing himself to not close his eyes or to pull back and slam his lips against Liam's or push his hand down the man's pants. He could keep it together, this was fine. "You didn't tell me you were staying in a palace."

Liam's body was shaking against Niall's as he laughed before pulling back, his hands remaining a bit longer on the blonde's hips before he let go, not really stepping far away though. His face was flushed, like usual, but he seemed happy, eyes crinkling up as he looked at Niall, immediately lifting his mood as well. "Sorry, forgot to mention that detail. Just wait until you see you guy's room though." 

"Liam even made sure to check it personally. And it's right next to mine as well." Louis threw in, causing Niall's smile to fade just a little bit, somehow not at all confused anymore to see Louis' arm around Harry's shoulder when he finally forced himself to look away from Liam. His best friend's grin looked like it might split his cheeks apart at any moment. "So, how'd everything go? The flight and all? Can imagine it's pretty overwhelming when you've never been on a plane for that long, or been in such a big city."

"The flight was _really_ cool, Niall wanted to sleep but I made sure he stayed awake. But he did fall asleep in the car though, after like, five seconds." Obviously, Harry was trying to make Louis laugh and he did, while Niall just rolled his eyes, trying to keep out of this a little bit, mostly because he knew that his best friend was very obviously eager to impress Louis, but also because, well… it hadn't been Niall's first time on a long flight after all. Or in a big city. 

"You can take a nap if you want, you know, trust me, we know how exhausting these flights are." There was nothing suspicious about what Liam said, but it still surprised Niall to see the older man's face worried rather than amused like the two other's, as if he was genuinely concerned just because Niall was a little bit sleepy.

"Nah, 'm fine, I think the car ride saved me." Or more, seeing Liam's face, but Niall didn't necessarily have to ever admit that. "But… I could go for something to eat though."

"Don't be rude, Niall." As if Harry could have ever told the blonde what to do, Niall just smirked at him afterwards, shrugging slightly and feeling very proud when Liam immediately jumped in, completely ignoring that Harry had even said anything at all. Exactly how it was supposed to be.

"Sure, come on. I'll order you something if you don't want anything from the mini bar." It almost seemed like Liam was a little bit hyped up, he was blushed and all that, but he seemed confident and not shy or anything, not even bothering to return the look Louis threw at him, but Niall certainly saw it before he followed the brunette man into his hotel room. Well, he could very well imagine what those two had been talking about before all of this, probably very similar to what harry had been bugging Niall about as well. 

Honestly though, they could keep thinking that Niall and Liam were secretly crushing on each other or whatever, because Niall could have said the same thing the other way around. Plus, Harry was pretty obvious about it, that was a _real_ crush he had on Louis there and everyone who couldn't see it must have been blind as fuck. Maybe he was thinking that just because he couldn't stop swooning over Louis, that it meant the same for Niall or something, which was ridiculous, because yeah, they had gone a lot further than Niall had did with most of his friends, but that didn't mean that there were feelings involved. 

And there never would be either.

Liam's hotel room was honestly ten times as big as Niall's dorm, Harry's eyes almost popped up while the blonde tried to keep it together in return even if he was impressed as well, by the view from up here alone. Who would have ever thought he'd ever only enter a hotel like this? Again? Not even talking about staying here for a few days without even having to pay one single pound for anything at all. Then again though, of course this was nice and absolutely mind blowing, but it's not like Niall would have minded if it had been the other way around, if Liam would have visited him instead, and if they would have had to have sex in Niall's small bed instead of Liam's king sized one. Right… speaking of that… 

"Sick… maybe I'll still think about that nap." Kicking off his shoes and dropping his bag, Niall quickly decided that he was allowed to act this way, it was Liam's room anyways, plus, the brunette man was chuckling when Niall belly dropped onto the already messed up bed, momentarily letting his eyes fall closed, even though Harry's expression had probably turned over to pure horror or something. 

"… is he always like this?" That was obviously Louis asking, Niall heard the amusement in his voice though and he smiled into the sheets, breathing in a bit, immediately being hit by the smell of Liam's aftershave. He shouldn't have recognized it that easily, he hadn't smelled it for a good month.

"Always… " And then Harry sighed a bit and Niall couldn't help but laugh as he turned onto his back before half sitting up, not planning on getting up out of this bed though for the next few hours. Or the whole night, if somehow possible. 

"Shush, Hazza, you're just jealous because Liam offered me food." And his bed for a nap, really, what more could have anyone wanted? Actually, Niall couldn't even remember whether Liam had even said hello to Harry and for some very stupid reason his mood was instantly lifted just from that thought. "What've you got in that mini bar, Payno?"

"One second." Liam was still going through the food choices obviously, Louis had settled for the couch, throwing a few very weird glances at Niall, then back at Harry, who had gone over to admire the view a bit more after sticking his tongue out towards the blonde, obviously still not over the location of this room. Well, it was quite magnificent, but not as nice at it felt to be half lying on the most comfortable bed Niall could have ever dreamed of. "Okay…. there's only sweets. Do you want to order anything from the reception?"

"No, that's fine, thank you." When the brunette man came back, he was carrying a whole bunch of sweets, simply dropping them into Niall's lap before sitting next to him on the bed, his smile still very prominent on his face. Although, if the blonde wasn't going crazy, he could see Liam's cheeks getting a bit redder now that their thighs were almost brushing and Louis was staring at them from the couch with an undefinable expression on his face. "I'm so hungry, I'd probably even eat some of Harry's kale right now."

"As if. You had to throw up the last time you tried it, remember?" As Harry came over from staring outside the window, he seemed to barely hesitate before sitting next to Louis instead of choosing the bed, the side glances he threw at the oldest man not once passing unnoticed by Niall. He was begin WAY too obvious. 

Shrugging, the blonde emptied half a package of m&m's into his mouth, pretty happy all around now to be honest, he had food and he didn't have to go back to college for a few days and if he was really lucky, he'd manage to get Liam all to himself later after his concert. Honestly, the last part was what kept Niall going the very most.

They stayed like this for quite a while, just talking, Niall kept on stuffing his face and teasing Harry a little bit, making the others laugh. It was going so easy it almost seemed unnatural, they all seemed to click, even though Liam and Louis both were older than them and had such extraordinary lives, they seemed to barely be different from other people at college.

Of course Niall had known that before, but only about Liam, he would have thought it'd maybe be awkward if there were all four of them and if he and the brunette had to hide such a big secret. But for some reason, it was fairly easy and Niall actually found himself enjoying it a lot, even if he and Harry kept teasing each other, but it was all just fun anyways and Niall knew that Harry was only trying to make Louis laugh or something. Still, once he'd get his best friend alone, he would maybe drop a hint or two about how Harry couldn't have possibly made his crush anymore obvious.

Despite the fact that they were having a good time, Niall's belly still did a slight drop when Louis suddenly suggested that they could show Niall and Harry to their room, so they could bring their stuff there or whatever, even if that was the last thing Niall actually felt like doing.

"Yeah, sure… you can go ahead, I'll need a minute or two before I can get up." Niall had gone back to lying on his back, still on Liam's bed, almost having transferred all of the sweets into his stomach by now. They had just been _so_ good.

"He's gonna need at least half an hour." Harry almost sounded a bit annoyed but the blonde just chuckled anyways, not making any attempts to sit up or look at his best friend as he suddenly had a very good thought.

"Maybe even longer, Liam's bed is just so perfect, you know?" To proof his point, Niall somehow tried to make himself even more comfortable looking, smirking to himself as he heard Harry sighing before moving around, doing exactly what Niall had wanted him to do. "I'll be there in a second, promise."

"Alright, I'll show Harry the room, yeah? And you can try to drag Niall down the hallway?" Louis was laughing though as he talked to Liam, hopefully not suspecting anything and simply thinking Niall was the laziest person alive. He was, somehow.

"Take my backpack, Haz? Please?" Trying to sound whiny, Niall was very satisfied with Harry's deep sigh shortly before he did collect the blonde's bag as well, saying something to Louis that Niall couldn't hear shortly before they both left the room, their voices being promptly shut off as soon as the door had fallen closed behind them. Finally.

"Well…. that was… interesting." Liam started as soon as they were alone, he was still on the edge of the bed, turning around now to look down at the blonde as Niall propped a hand behind his head, smirking up at the older man, very happy about how things had turned out. 

"Yeah…. not sure if Harry actually thinks he's hiding his crush on Louis, though. I almost got secondhand embarrassment, do you think I should tell him to back off a little? Don't want it to get weird." Because it would, if Harry kept this up, but Niall obviously didn't know Louis very well, so he thought it'd be alright to check with Liam. Not like it hadn't been obvious.

"No, I… just let him. Louis would tell him if… if he got uncomfortable, you know? Like… I honestly have no idea what's going' on between them… Louis isn't like this usually, I mean… maybe he likes Harry back? I don't know. 'm just glad if… if they don't notice anything… " Somehow it was funny, how Liam would go over to being slightly more shy whenever it was him and Niall by themselves, but the blonde didn't mind, he kinda liked it, how blushed Liam would always get, how he sometimes had to fight for his words. But then whenever they started making out, he suddenly was the dominant one again, all comfortable with doing whatever they felt like, it was nice.

"Notice what?" Niall asked, pulling up an eyebrow as he grinned crookedly at Liam, having to bite back a laugh when he saw the older man struggling for a second before rolling his eyes as he noticed that Niall was just teasing him.

"Oh, stop it… " But his ears were definitely a little bit redder now and Niall let out a laugh, suddenly feeling all light and carefree, somehow having forgotten how easy it was to be with Liam like this.

"Stop what?" The blonde kept on teasing him, never tearing his eyes away from Liam though, he looked so hot sitting there, in real life and not through Niall's rather shitty computer screen. God, he had been waiting so long to kiss these red, plush lips again, feel the man's stubble rubbing against his skin and leaving red spots, it almost seemed embarrassing now. "Liam… "

"Hm?" The older seemed a bit confused at Niall's sudden change of mood, not immediately catching on, not even as Niall's smile fell a tiny bit and he tried his best to not just sit up, cup Liam's face and slam their lips together.

Instead, Niall decided that being subtle wasn't really doing it for him anymore. "Kiss me."

Almost instantly, Liam seemed to blush even more, he froze a tiny bit, as if he was surprised by that request, but he kept looking into Niall's eyes and the younger boy never turned his head away either, feeling the heat coiling in his stomach as Liam finally made a few attempts to move, not answering though.

It was obvious, that Liam was acting a bit more shyly now that time had passed by since the last time they had touched each other, even though they had seen each other naked lots in the last month, this was a whole lot different, more tense, but so much better that Niall almost lost it at just the thought of it.

Liam moved slowly, getting the blonde a bit impatient, but he kept it together, waited for as long as Liam needed until he was finally hovering above him, not straddling him though like Niall had imagined, but this was fine as well, as long as he could sense Liam's presence, have his nose filling with the man's rather familiar cologne as he let his eyes drop closed.

They didn't go at it as desperately as Niall would have thought, he kinda liked it though, like how Liam took his time, maybe because he wanted to or maybe because he was nervous, but he only lightly kissed Niall at first, making no attempts to deepen the kiss. Their chests were pressing together as he leaned down further, Niall's arm automatically coming up to wrap around the older's shoulders, long having forgotten about where he was supposed to be right now.

Kissing Liam after what felt like forever felt even more intense than Niall would have imagined. Especially after the brunette finally allowed Niall entrance to his mouth, the blonde immediately turned his brain off, trying to get Liam's body pressing more closely into his, tightening his grip around him as he couldn't help the tiny moan escaping him underneath the long and deep strokes of Liam's tongue.

Nothing had changed, it seemed like they were just gonna fall right back into it, knowing exactly how to tilt their heads and where to touch the other one and it was so _good_ that it made Niall shiver. Liam tasted so good and his lips were so soft and gentle yet firm and demanding and no one could have blamed the blonde for rocking his hips up into the older one's, not caring anymore about who would find out about this.

"Ni-" Liam started, not coming further though because Niall immediately cut him off with another, rather desperate kiss, almost feeling ecstatic now that Liam had moved to lie completely on top of him, his arms on either side of Niall to support himself much to the younger's displeasure. He wanted all of Liam, wanted to feel his whole weight on top of him pressing him into the mattress. "Louis and H-"

"Sh." Niall mumbled against Liam's lips, never wanting to hear these names again whenever they were lying in bed and making out, he felt like he needed to kiss Liam right now in order to be able to keep on breathing. "Fuck 'em… door's locked."

And maybe there was something Liam would have replied to this, maybe protested, but he quickly gave up when Niall smashed their lips back together, immediately licking back into the older's hot mouth, locking his arms tighter around his neck so he couldn't pull back anymore.

Was it stupid to think that Niall suddenly felt whole again? As if he hadn't even known that he had been missing this during the last month? But now that they were here and heavily snogging in Liam's hotel room, it all seemed to fall back in place.

This wasn't gonna end well, they both knew it, and yet none of them wanted to stop as Niall pushed his hand down Liam's jeans, every care in the world somehow forgotten.


	8. Chapter 8

Having Niall there gave Liam a strange boost of confidence but also added a slight hint of insecureness right before he went on stage. At the same time though, he was more than excited to get off again as well, knowing that they’d see each other once more, hopefully would get to spend some more time alone, as they hadn’t really had any before.

Mostly they had just spent the hours before the concert as all four of them, which had gone surprisingly well, even though Liam had felt a constant urge to touch the blonde boy somehow after what they had done when they had been by themselves for half an hour.

It had maybe gone a bit too fast actually, but Liam blamed it on the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so long, hadn’t touched the other and had had only naked Skype dates to look forward to. Then again though, there was a great possibility that it was only Liam who felt that way, as Niall had probably hooked up with other people in the meantime and the thought bothered the brunette more than it should have. 

Despite them having gone missing for so long though, Harry and Louis had had obviously had a steady conversation going as none of them had even said a word when Niall and Liam had finally come back, with slightly swollen lips and clothes a bit out of order. They seemed to get along brilliantly, but Liam tried not to think too hard about any of this, especially not after what Niall had said. The less he’d get involved with Harry’s and Louis’ friendship, the less his best friend would probably question Liam’s and Niall’s. Hopefully.

After the concert, Liam easily found the other three as they had all been watching from the side, leaving a few songs early like Louis usually did to avoid chaos. Then again, Liam wasn’t quite sure if it wouldn’t have been a better idea to simply put Niall and Harry into the audience, especially after these blurry pictures of Niall had emerged. He wasn’t too worried now, also because they had talked about it and Niall had decided to come despite all of this, yet still… Liam wasn’t just gonna stop taking into consideration what the potential consequences would be if any of this ever came out. Not that Niall’s life would forever be ruined, just… Liam was a slightly bit scared that he’d never see the boy again if that happened.

Not that he thought Niall was a bad friend or an asshole who was only using Liam, but… he couldn’t force a friend to any of this, could he? Couldn’t force them into the spotlight, that wouldn’t be right and nothing Liam would have ever done. So he was quite happy that Niall seemed to be so carefree about all of this, that he was always calm and not worrying about anything, it had a positive affect on the brunette man as well.

“Hey, Liam, amazing show!” Harry was actually the first one to blurt out with it as Liam came closer, grinning as he heard the true excitement in the boy’s voice, his clothes feeling slightly sticky now.

“Thanks, mate, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” He truly was, this was Niall’s best friend after all, Liam did feel slightly bad now for not really saying hello to Harry before, but then again, it hadn’t seemed like he had been seriously phased by it. Louis and him seemed to really kick it off after all.

“Oh, we all did, no worries, these two were really going off.” Louis joked, giving Niall a light bump with his elbow, causing Liam’s eyes to finally settle on the younger boy, immediately getting confused at what caught his eyes.

“Where’d you get that from?” The blonde was sucking on a candy cane, obviously since a while already because the corners of his mouth were already red, but he smiled at Liam anyways before shrugging, unexpectedly coming over to give Liam a quick one sided hug he barely had time to return.

“One of your bodyguards gave them to us, he said they’re from one of your fans and they’re actually for you, but I thought… you wouldn’t miss one, right?” It was a bit hard to understand him when he had that thing in his mouth, but somehow Liam found himself staring a bit dumbly, having to blink once or twice before he had found his voice once more. Okay, there was no need to imagine _anything_ sexually related to what Niall was doing right now, or the noises he was making, absolutely nothing.

“Oh… yeah, sure, whatever you want, I wouldn’t have, umm… eaten them anyways.” Again, Liam found himself slightly stuttering with Niall’s full attention on him. Before when they had arrived, it had all been completely fine, Liam had felt excited and confident and almost a bit over eager, but as soon as Niall and him had been alone and the blonde had put up his crooked smile, Liam’s chill had somehow immediately vanished. Not that Liam wasn’t comfortable around him because he really was, but… there was something else he couldn’t really name. “Did you have fun?”

“Tons. I don’t know any of your songs by heart but Harry screamed them into my ear anyways.” Niall laughed before winking at his best friend, who was glaring a bit at him, and Liam joined, just to lift his own mood a little bit, he was still all worked up because of the concert, full of energy as well. And if Louis hadn’t talked to one of Liam’s staff members to get Harry and Niall a room for themselves, Liam wouldn’t have even had to worry whether he’d get to get rid of that energy tonight.

Like, maybe he should have worried about his way of thinking, of trying to already figure out how to get Niall into his hotel room for the night without anybody asking questions, but… Liam couldn’t help it, they had been doing so many things by now, he couldn’t possibly feel bad or guilty anymore, could he? Maybe a bit, but the brunette was very good at pushing these thoughts aside anyways.

“So, are we gonna go? Louis said the fans will jump in front of your car if we wait too long… and also, you look like you could use a shower.” Right, Liam was probably really sweaty and gross, he hoped he wasn’t blushing too much as he nodded, not feeling like Niall was grossed out since he had hugged him and all and was smiling widely now, but still…

“Yeah, um… let’s get out of here, c’mon.” Of course the look Louis threw at him didn’t really go past Liam, but he just started walking before really thinking about it, relieved when Niall easily fell into step with him, still noisily sucking on his candy cane while the other two followed behind. 

Getting outside the arena after a concert usually was really stressful, Liam threw one or two apologetic glabces at the blonde boy for his security guards pushing them to hurry, but Niall didn't seem to mind anyways. He just looked happy to have some candy and talking to Liam around it, easily keeping the conversation going even while they were climbing in the back of the car, followed by Harry and Louis.

"... and then my professor told me if I don’t hand it in until after the weekend he’s gonna make me fail. But it’s fine though, I don’t think he actually can, he’s just trying to scare me, you know, they’re all like this.” Apparently that story wasn’t supposed to cause Liam to feel slightly guilty, but he somehow did anyways. Like… he didn’t want the boy to fail because of being here, but then again though, he highly doubted that Niall would have written the essay had he been at home. “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

“I… I’m not worrying.” Liam quickly lied, feeling a bit caught as he tried to hide his face a bit, hoping that he wasn’t too smelly because the car wasn’t that big and Niall was squeezed up right next to him, the other two barely having sat down opposite of them when the car already stared moving. 

“I can see it in your face, Liam, you’re too easy to read.” Niall was probably right, but he was laughing so Liam easily got over it, kinda liking the fact that the blonde knew him well enough already to say these things, immediately feeling embarrassed for that thought though. 

“He’s always this easy to read, I swear, and he always gets really red whenever he tells something that’s just close to a lie.” Glaring at Louis for that unnecessary comment, Liam briefly checked whether everyone had put his seat belt on, quickly deciding not to say anything when he noticed that Niall hadn’t. This would have really been going too far. “Oh, right, Li, a fan gave me a letter for you when I went to the toilets, here.”

Not really surprised, Liam felt a bit bad when Louis pulled a rather crinkly letter from his back pockets before handing it over to Liam. This happened a lot, Louis always seemed to bring back gifts for Liam whenever he went out by himself, usually they were already opened though whenever it was useful or because he had grown bored on the way back. Liam didn’t really mind, it’s not like Louis was making fun of the fans, actually, he sometimes even followed them whenever they put their twitter names on the end of the letter.

Liam noticed Niall leaning a bit closer as he opened the letter, not really expecting the boy to be interested though as he unfolded the paper, already feeling guilty yet again when he thought about all the letters he had gotten but had never even opened. There was just too many sometimes and his security didn’t even give him half of them to begin with.

The letter itself didn’t really say too much, also it was a bit hard to identify every word because it had gotten so crinkly, but Liam still found himself smiling all the way through it. It was so nice, to read about people telling him how he had helped them, how much they appreciated and loved him, this was something he’d never grow tired of, one reason that would always make him want to carry on with this, for the sake of all these people that were somehow relying on him.

“That’s really sweet.” Niall’s voice so close to his ear almost caused Liam to flinch, he hadn’t thought the blonde would have been interested in reading any of this, but when the brunette turned his head, he started to feel slightly hot. Not only because of how close their faces were all of a sudden but also because Niall’s smile was really soft, as if this had genuinely touched him or something. “What’re you gonna do? Like… follow them or something? If they react only half as excited as Harry did when Louis followed him, you’ll probably kill ‘em or somethin'.”

“I wasn’t even _that_ excited, okay?” Harry immediately threw in before he could answer, his throat a little bit tight now because of Niall still being this close, he could feel the boy’s arm brushing against his even after he had turned his head away again, actually contemplating the idea Niall had brought up. 

“Oh, really? I guess I can just unfollow you again then, you know, if it’s not that important.” Obviously, Louis was teasing, he was smirking as well, but Harry’s eyes still went wide when Louis pulled his phone out, trying to get the younger boy worked up and it seemed to work pretty well.

“Louis!” Somehow it was strange, to watch them being like this, as if they had been friends for much longer than just this short time, where they had only seen each other once, Liam almost forgot about the letter as he stared at them play fighting, not feeling too embarrassed anymore now for having touched Niall way too much before the concert.

Since the other two weren’t really paying attention anymore, Niall was obviously getting reckless. He almost caused Liam to fall out of his seat as he suddenly brought his lips up right against his ear, hot breath brushing the older’s skin, with goose bumps rising all over his arms as he whispered, half giggled into his ear, leg pressing into Liam’s because of how close he had gotten by now. Like… maybe Liam shouldn’t have reacted the ways he did, but his body kind of betrayed him, Niall’s words only making him laugh half heartedly. “My bets are on Harry confessing his endless love to Louis in less than two weeks.”

The car ride wasn’t very long, but it did seem like a lifetime to Liam, even more so after Harry and Louis had stopped playing around and acting like 5 year olds, because Niall didn’t move away. The blonde stayed this close to Liam, basically making their whole sides touch and he didn’t even seem to notice or care, again licking and sucking on his candy cane as if he was actually trying to seduce someone. Also, he bothered Liam so long about following the fan that had written that letter that Liam obeyed easily, also because he wanted to, alright, but of course it caused Louis to throw in a stupid comment about how Niall already had Liam wrapped around his little finger. Which was stupid, Liam was just excited that Niall was here, and unsure about how to behave whenever they weren’t alone, and also… maybe the blonde made him a little bit nervous. 

Just a little bit though.

 

—————————

 

“Harry… you can just confess that you have a proper crush on Louis, it’s not that no one has noticed yet, you know.” Niall felt relaxed as he was lying on the bed, watching his best friend changing his shirt for the fourth while he himself hadn’t even bothered to change except putting on a pair of sweatpants. He didn’t really plan on really going down to the hotel bar, but even if, he was pretty sure no one would have cared if he went looking like this.

“I’m not, I’m just… he’s nice and we get along well, okay? It’s like… with you and Liam.” Obviously Harry felt a bit helpless trying to talk himself out of it, not once looking at Niall as he kept staring at himself into the mirror, as if this was supposed to be a date or whatever. Niall didn’t know Louis well enough to say whether his best friend was gonna get rejected or not, but even if he wasn’t very good at showing it, he did care about Harry, very much, and he was just trying to warn him a little bit maybe. Just in case. 

“I’m not staring at Liam like he’s god’s greatest gift to earth though.” That was a quite ridiculous thought actually, Niall found himself chuckling over his own joke, making Harry huff.

“No, but you’re looking at him like you wanna eat him or whatever.” Hmmm… that was actually quite a good idea to be honest. “And what was up with that candy cane shit? Were you being this loud on purpose? Because it wasn’t very sexy or seducing in any way, it was actually really gross.”

“I just like candy.” At the beginning that had been very true, when Louis had come back with these things, Niall had gone pretty crazy for them, he liked sugar, even if Harry had pulled a face at him and tried to talk him out of it. Then when Liam had gotten off stage though, of course Niall had noticed the man’s stares, the slight blush that definitely hadn’t been caused by him getting hot on stage, so yeah, maybe he had exaggerated a little bit afterwards. It was just funny to get Liam all flustered, no big deal.

“And do you like sucking on things, too?” Harry’s sarcastic comment only caused Niall to laugh harder, he still hadn’t gotten up and out of bed even though they should have been soon ready to meet the other two again. They had barely gotten back to the hotel, but Liam had immediately excused himself to go shower and change and Louis had gone to his own room to take a call or whatever. 

“Yeah, sometimes I do. Why?” There was another huff and Niall let his eyes fall closed briefly, he was actually really tired, probably from the jet lag, already feeling slightly annoyed over how bad it would be once he got back home, just like last time. It had been a month ago and he had had to blame it all on partying too much because of course all of his friends had noticed him barely being awake during any classes. “You know, Haz… “

“What now?” Had Niall not known better, he would have thought Harry was genuinely mad at him, judging by the why he snapped, but he would always do that, and in the end, none of them really stayed seriously mad at the other one for long.

“Nothing, just… be careful. With Louis, I mean, you don’t have to tell me about it, but you know, like… if you did actually want more and you told him and the feeling would turn out to be mutual, then… he’s kind of a celebrity. You’d either have to hide it or he’s gonna drag you into the spotlight as well.” And Niall with him probably, because the blonde didn’t intend on staying behind if this right here became a usual thing. Then again though… maybe Harry being the one to cause everyone to find out wouldn’t have been that dumb, at least then they wouldn’t have to be careful anymore and no blurry picture of Niall would be the reason for it all to blow up. “Imagine… if everyone on campus found out. Or… or if your mother found out, oh my god, actually, that’d be quite funny, wouldn’t it? Did you actually tell her about any of this?”

“No, I… I didn’t really know how. But I’ll tell her eventually, I don’t like keeping secrets from her.” Apparently Harry didn’t find any of this as amusing as Niall because he completely ignored everything else, obviously finally having settled for a shirt because he turned around, his face looking a bit scattered with a few light red spots that Niall decided to ignore. That whole topic wasn’t something they’d usually have to discuss so it was a tad weird maybe, Niall decided to let it drop, just because he knew that if their places had been swapped, he would have long told Harry to shut his mouth. “Are you seriously gonna wear that, Ni?"

“Yeah, I guess, I have no one to impress after all.” Half sitting up, Niall tried to suppress a yawn but failed quite terribly at it, immediately falling back onto his back again even though they were probably already running late. Not that it was that important, they were all staying on the same damn floor. “God, I’m so tried… maybe I’ll stay here, actually. Don’t know if I can get up.”

“But you can’t leave me alone with the other two.” Well, yeah, maybe it would have gotten a bit awkward at some point, but Niall had other plans anyways, one that would definitely not leave Harry alone with Louis _and_ Liam. But he couldn’t say that of course.

“Why? I thought you and Louis get along great and Liam’s nice, he knows how to talk to people he doesn’t know that well.” Not that the brunette would have to use that skill tonight, not if everything went after Niall’s plan. “Look, I… I’ll come a bit later, alright? Just go and tell them I’m really tired and maybe I’ll manage to get up later, I just literally feel dead right now and if I start drinking I’m probably gonna pass out after one glass.”

“When’s the last time you only had one glass?” Never.

“I don’t know, just… I don’t know if I can get up now.” Trying to sound a bit dramatic, Niall forced himself to another yawn, only to have his best friend rolling his eyes at him, probably seconds from giving Niall a lecture on how ungrateful he was acting yet again. “I had no idea long flights fuck you up like that. And the time difference, god…“

“So you’re gonna go to sleep now?” Harry sounded a little bit angry before he sighed as Niall shrugged, trying to put up an innocent face, rubbing his eyes, he would have felt bad if he hadn’t known that his best friend wouldn’t stay mad at him for very long. “Alright, then… I’ll go and… tell others. Just know I hate you for this, Niall, they’re like, best friends and what if it’ll be weird being alone with them, I-“

“It won’t be, alright? If it does then text me and I’ll force myself to come.” Since it would never ever come to that, Niall didn’t feel bad for promising, even if Harry rolled his eyes yet again before kicking a bit at Niall’s feet that were hanging over the edge of the bed.

“You won’t even see my texts if you go to sleep.” He complained, crossing his arms for a moment, almost causing the blonde to laugh by how pathetic his attempt was to put up a pout.

“No, I’ll put my phone on loud, alright? It’ll be fine, trust me, Liam’s not one to just exclude you or whatever, in fact, I can imagine he won’t even talk that much.” Or maybe he was just shy around Niall because it almost seemed like it, since he also hadn’t had any problems at all with his fans either, but maybe that had been different all along. 

“As if you know him that well… you only ever met him once before with both of you being sober.“ Another very annoyed sigh before Harry finally started shifting his feet, making sure to glare down at the blonde still lying on the bed before slowly starting to move towards the door. “I’ll tell them you’re a real pussy who needs to be in bed at 9 every day.”

“It’s almost midnight, Harry.” There was never an answer to that, but Harry did turn around to stick his tongue out at the blonde, who just laughed at him before waiting for his best friend to firmly close the door behind himself. Right, now he just needed this whole thing to work out like planned.

After waiting for a few minutes because you never knew, Niall pulled his phone back out, kinda hoping that Harry had only told Louis so far in order for this to work out, but to his very surprise, the text message he had been intending to send kinda became unnecessary as soon as he threw a look at the screen. 

 

_Liam 11:56 pm_

_hey… you okay? sorry if you wanna sleep, just wanna check_

 

See, this was the thing.

The people Niall was friends with, with the exception of Harry, would have never even dreamed of sending him a text like this, to simply check up on him when nothing was even wrong in the first place. But even further than that, his bloody _hook ups_ wouldn’t have done something like this in a million years and yet here Liam was.

Actually, Niall shouldn’t have been surprised. Liam always asked how he was doing, even offered Niall help with his school work even though he was really bad at it and they both knew it. It was just… it was a friendship but then suddenly when they were together they weren’t able to keep their hands off each other and it was just… really everything Niall could have ever wished for in a fuck buddy. And though these words had kind of a negative meaning attached, it wasn’t like that, he genuinely liked Liam as a friend and the brunette man hopefully knew that as well.

Having to let this sink in for a bit, Niall didn’t answer immediately, he just stared at the ceiling for a while, a little bit sad that his plan probably wouldn’t be working anymore, but at the same time feeling rather at ease as well. It felt good to have Liam caring this much, no doubt, Niall would have never admitted this in front of anyone, but it’s not like he was made of ice or something. 

 

_To Liam 12:04 am_

_im fine don’t worry, just jet lagged. don’t let harry get too drunk ok? bc hes awful when he has more than two glasses_

 

None of this was a lie, Niall wasn’t THAT jet lagged, but he was pretty tired. Besides, he couldn’t have really gone after the others now because they had only been gone for a few minutes, so he would have to wait in order for it to be somewhat realistic. The again though, did it really matter in the end?

Right before Niall was about to just roll out of bed and maybe put on some jeans and tell Harry he had magically changed his mind, his phone vibrated again in his hands, almost having him open the new message a little bit embarrassingly fast.

 

_Liam 12:07 am_

_im actually in my room. figured harry and louis would be fine on their own_

 

Now THIS was a surprise. Niall actually had to read the message twice before he allowed that grin to spread on his face, his tiredness somehow vanishing just like that, mood lifted at an instant. Maybe he should have felt bad, for kinda ruining Liam’s night for a few minutes, but as he shoved his phone down his pockets and grabbed the second key card a second later, he was pretty sure the brunette was going to forgive him for exaggerating his jet lag.

Niall figured there was no need to text Liam, his hotel room was only one minute away and though the blonde had slight trouble finding the right number, he was pretty confident as he knocked on the door, the grin still prominent on his face as he thought about how perfectly everything had worked out just now. Who cared if he wasn’t there if Harry came back, he was just going to tell him that Liam had come to check on him and that they had decided to chill out a bit and then Niall had fallen asleep in his room or whatever.

Liam took a while to open the door, briefly making the blonde wonder if he had been naked or something, but when the brunette finally appeared in the doorway, he was fully clothed, hair flat and soft looking, face actually a little bit sleepy before his expression turned to surprised. “Niall? I thought you were going to sleep.”

“Nah. It’s not that bad, just didn’t really feel like drinking right now, you know.” Didn’t feel like sharing Liam more like, but that’s not something Niall could have said, he could have told the brunette about how this had been his plan all along, but Niall was pretty certain that Liam would let him inside anyways. The smile forming on his lips was proof enough of that.

“Oh. Yeah… me neither. You could have just told me.” Opening the door a little wider and slightly stepping away, Niall took the movement as a hint, easily walking past the older man into the room, making a gesture with his hand to show him that it didn’t matter.

“Could have, but then everyone would have felt the need to make comments on us staying behind together. And now if Harry says anything, I can just give it right back.” Scanning the room for a second, Niall turned around to look at Liam right after the brunette had closed the door once more. He was wearing some training shorts and a shirt that looked a bit too small on him, possibly with a hole or two, hair a complete mess now that Niall looked more closely. 

Seeing Liam like this was so different than watching him on stage or seeing him meeting fans, here it kinda seemed possible that he’d just be able to walk across campus with Niall and stay at his dorm for a few days. Maybe that was why Niall had so much trouble letting all of this sink in and not constantly forgetting about it, because though he really enjoyed watching Liam during concerts and being so kind to his fans for some reason, he liked him a lot more like this. Just normal, a bit blushy and sleepy, looking a bit like a mess.

“I mean, we could still drink if you want, it’d be much more fun to do it in here anyways.” Just because it wasn’t really the alcohol that had made Niall say no to Harry, though he didn’t feel a desperate need to get drunk now anyways, he was just making sure Liam knew it was an option. Not that he normally wanted to get drunk or so, but the blonde felt like offering it, just in case. “We totally don’t have to though."

“I, uh… I don’t really have anything here, but… “ Liam cleared his throat a little, playing with the hem of his shirt, seemingly nervous and surprised as he walked past Niall, the moving air having the blonde’s nose immediately filling with his cologne. “I have more of these… if you want them.”

Slightly confused, Niall quickly came over to where Liam had gone through his things, somehow automatically putting his hand on the small of the older’s back as he looked down at what he was holding, his grin immediately coming back straight away. More candy canes. “Awesome, thanks, Payno.”

It made Liam laugh at how fast Niall had pulled one of the candies from his hand, briefly thinking about kissing his cheek but then quickly walking over to the bed instead, feeling slightly irritated for even having had the idea in the first place. “You can have all of them, you know… ‘m not really supposed to be eating a lot of this stuff.”

“Really? Do you have to like… be on a constant diet?” Since Liam’s bed was already messed up and the TV was on but on mute, Niall assumed that the brunette man had just been lying around here anyways, so he didn’t feel bad at all for simply propping the pillow up to half lie down. It was bigger than a double bed anyways.

“Yeah, I mean… not _constant_ , but while I’m touring and stuff… and I have to work out as well.” That certainly wasn’t a secret. 

“But your tour will be over soon though, right? Then you can get really fat and no one can say anything.” Unwrapping the candy cane was a bit hard, so Niall started using his teeth, trying not to smile over how carefully Liam got into the other half of the bed, slowly as well, as if Niall was going to bite him or something, as if they hadn’t had sex too many times already.

“I could… but I’d just have to lose the weight again afterwards, that’s not exactly… fun.” He shrugged a bit and Niall nodded sympathetically after finally having gotten the candy into his mouth. There was nothing worse for him than working out, truly. “Anyways, uh… what do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know, what were you doing before I came in here?” Hopefully Liam could still make out Niall’s words, now that he had to speak past the candy cane, grinning as he noticed the brunette staring once again before turning his head away with a light flush tainting his cheeks.

“Nothing… I was just watching TV and stuff.” He made some gesture with his hand, finally relaxing enough to half lie down as well, with a bit more distance though than Niall would have left had their places been swapped. 

“Okay, let’s watch then. I’ve never been watching American TV except for when I visited you in LA, but… “ But they hadn’t really had a lot of time for watching TV there because they had kept themselves busy otherwise. 

“Oh, it’s great. A lot of soaps, a bit pointless maybe, but… I could probably, um, write you a summary on all of them. There’s not much else to do when… when no one’s around.” Searching for the remote, Liam automatically scooted closer to Niall and the blonde didn’t mind at all, he made sure to move a bit as well, not really liking the fact that they’d act like strangers around each other. 

“Great, just put anything on then, I’m fine with everything and your taste can’t be any worse than Harry’s anyways. Can you believe he made me watch a documentary on turtles the other day? It was so boring, I slept in five times and he kept waking me up as well, I was pretty pissed. Reminds me, can you get us tickets on different planes next time?” It was a joke obviously, Niall had to laugh at himself and Liam smirked, shaking his head a little, not making any attempts to move away even when they ended up so close that their arms were almost brushing yet again.

“I can try. But... you know, when we’re flying back, you’re gonna come on my private jet anyways, because my last concert is tomorrow night and-“

“A _private_ jet?!” Alright, apparently there were still things that could surprise Niall, he even forgot that he had opened his mouth to put the candy cane back inside when Liam randomly threw that in, immediately hesitating before slowly turning to look at Niall.

“I… well, yeah. It’s really cool, you’ll love it.” There was absolutely no doubt that Niall would, just… holy shit, Liam really was living the dream here. Like, he had known that they’d fly back home together and he had really been excited for that, but… now he was absolutely thrilled. 

Turned out there was about one million things on TV, so Liam eventually settled for something he really seemed to enjoy and Niall probably paid more attention to the older’s laugh than he did to the actual movie, kinda really liking the idea of them just lying here together in bed, touching but not really, Liam laughing over the most ridiculous things and Niall being forced to smile because of how amusing it was. 

The fact that all of this seemed way more appealing to him than going down to the bar and drinking with Harry and Louis should have probably gotten Niall worried, but he felt comfortable around Liam, liked how much the older man obviously relaxed the more time passed by, how they just kinda fit like this, without really doing much. They didn’t even have to constantly have sex for this to work, which made Liam pretty much the only person that Niall liked to have around for simple company as well as for whatever more intimate stuff he felt like doing.

“What’re you gonna do on Christmas?” It was a random question Liam just blurted out with after a bit of silence between them, Niall figured it probably came from the movie they had on, he hadn’t been following along that closely but he was pretty sure it was a Christmas movie.

“Going home with Harry, I guess. I don’t really want to, but… don’t have much of a choice, and campus is dead during the holidays. And then I guess I’ll be celebrating with my dad and my brother… possibly his girlfriend, if he hasn’t managed to make her run just yet.” Hopefully not, because then at least Niall’s dad would maybe try and behave a bit, or… maybe he had a new girlfriend as well and would celebrate with her, that’d be the best scenario possible. “You?”

“I’ll go home as well and… my mum’s probably gonna make me eat every five seconds I’m there. And then she’s gonna cry.” His voice was really soft though and Niall found himself smiling at the image, it was nice that some people had a fully functional family, and Liam kinda seemed like he maybe was a bit of a mamma’s boy anyways.

“Well, she didn’t see you for really long, it’s probably appropriate to cry.” But then again, she seemed to cry about everything, Liam had told Niall about this a few times already and it had never failed to amuse him.

“Yeah, but… she’s probably also gonna cry because of the new tattoo I got, you know the one I told you about two weeks ago? She hates tattoos.” Right, the brunette had consulted with Niall before getting it, not that the blonde had any tattoo knowledge, he had just been trying to be supportive, but his curiosity did take overhand now.

“Right, I haven’t even noticed, show me.” Nudging the older softly with his elbow, Niall left the (by now second) candy cane in his mouth to have his hands free as Liam slowly lifted the arm that wasn’t in between them, his eyes settling very obviously on Niall’s face as he watched the blonde examining his tattoos, probably to take in his reaction.

Niall had never really looked that closely, he knew Liam had a lot of tattoos on his arm, obviously, but seeing them like this was kind of interesting as well. The older man had gotten his hand tattooed two weeks ago, and he had sent Niall a picture afterwards, but it was still different like this, being able to touch it and all. It looked really cool and it fit Liam, but Niall could still imagine the older’s mother crying over it, after all, the blonde was used to seeing Liam with tattoos ever since he had met him, his mother… not so much.

“Looks really good. Did that hurt a lot? On the back of your hand and all? I’d probably start bawling or somethin’.” Seriously though, Niall wasn’t so good with pain and he remembered how red the edges of the tattoo had been when Liam had sent him a picture right after.

“I’m used to it, I guess, but… it does hurt, yeah. Not anymore though, only a few days after, but it’s worth it anyways.” Niall silently agreed with that, his thumb still rubbing over the inked skin without really noticing, then propping himself up on and elbow to reach the rest of the older’s arm, trying to memorize the rest of the tattoos as well. 

They were really close now, even more so because Niall had moved, he first of all didn’t even notice it that much because he was focused on the older’s arm, having gone over to biting the candy cane in his mouth and then swallowing because it had gotten that small. But when he felt Liam’s warm breath hitting his cheek, the blonde did stop for a second, suddenly becoming aware of the fact that he was really invading Liam’s space, pressing up against him, fingers tracing the black ink on his skin.

As Niall turned his head, their faces turned out to be only inches apart, Liam’s eyes were a bit wide, his lips slightly parted and his breathing going that tiny bit heavier, barely audible with the TV still on in the background. Niall couldn’t help but think of how good Liam looked right now, how soft and sleepy, just letting Niall take his arm and turn it around to his liking to be able to really see every single tattoo. And now their eyes had gotten stuck on the other, Liam’s face turned that little bit pink and Niall couldn’t help but laugh quietly because of the familiarity of all of this.

Leaning down just a bit to make those last few centimeters disappear felt strangely natural to Niall, he barely even thought about it, there was no apparent reason not to kiss Liam right now, even less so when the older man reacted immediately, giving in to the pressure of Niall’s lips against his, head falling back against the pillow.

Niall knew that his lips were probably sticky because of the candy he had eaten, and his mouth probably tasted a bit too sweet, but Liam didn’t seem to mind one bit. His free arm immediately came up to circle the blonde’s shoulders as he pressed up tighter against him, still holding onto the older’s wrist as he slipped one leg between Liam’s, somehow seeking even more closeness even though it seemed barely possible.

Kissing Liam was always Niall’s favorite thing somehow, they had gone without it for so long that every touch felt that more intense, every sweep of Liam’s hand across Niall’s back and every time their tongues met and the way his beard would rub across Niall’s already sensitive skin. Short, kissing Liam was probably better than kissing any other person the blonde boy knew, and that really said something.

As he moved to straddle the older’s hips instead, Liam obeyed easily, his hands slipping to hold the blonde’s hips as he sat on top of him, not having pulled away yet even though they were both running out of breath, breathing heavily against one another as they continued snogging. Niall was already starting to feel hot and bothered just from these few minutes, he was unconsciously rocking against Liam, hands on either side of the brunette’s head to support himself, a shiver running down his spine as Liam’s warm and big hands slipped underneath his shirt.

“You taste like a candy shop… “ Liam mumbled as they pulled apart for just a second, foreheads still touching and Niall couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly, panting a bit as he felt Liam’s hands running up his sides underneath his shirt. 

“Sorry… “ Not really, because Liam obviously didn’t mind, he was tilting his head up for another kiss and the blonde easily connected their swollen mouths again, a sigh escaping him as Liam ran his tongue across his lower lip before gently biting it, something that Niall would usually do instead.

When the older boy started to undress Niall, the younger boy simply slipped off his shirt before throwing it somewhere on the bed, a little bit too desperate to feel Liam’s lips against his, pressing his hips a bit harder into the older man’s. He was already half hard, maybe a bit too eager and feeling too hot already, but when the brunette’s fingers danced a bit too lightly across his hips, Niall was suddenly forced to interrupt their heated snogging session.

“W-Wait.” Immediately, Niall’s hands had flown up to hold onto Liam’s, making sure they stayed still as he sat up straight again within a second, trying to catch his breath a little while Liam’s face got slightly confused and worried.

“Sorry, I… what did I do?” Of course Liam would think he had done something bad now, so Niall quickly shook his head, almost starting to feel embarrassed about what he was about to say, especially because he had no idea what Liam would do afterwards.

“I… “ Hesitating for just a second, Niall slowly moved Liam’s hands down again, making sure they were firmly holding onto his hips again before taking another quick breath. “I’m really… ticklish.”

“Oh… “ Obviously, that wasn’t what Liam had expected, but when his flushed face suddenly turned more amused and a small grin spread across his lips, Niall couldn’t help but panic just lightly, trying his best to glare down at the older man. 

“Don’t you dare.” Niall warned, hoping he was sounding firm enough but getting a bit disappointed when Liam’s grin only grew wider, as if they hadn’t just been making out heavily. “Liam.”

“I’m not doing anything.” Liam smirked, his hands hadn’t moved from Niall’s hips yet, but he seemed way too amused to Niall’s liking, as if he was seconds from doing something he was going to regret.

“I’ll be so mad if y-“ 

Before Niall was even able to finish, or had had the chance to hold Liam’s hands down, the older man had already moved them up, letting his finger tips dance across the blonde’s ribs, a bit tighter now than before and with a clear purpose, having him squirming and laughing within half a second. Damn Liam for using this against him!

Liam was way stronger than Niall, so there was no chance for the younger one to get out of his grip, especially not when Liam attempted to turn them back around, holding both of Niall’s wrist with one hand as he continued to tickle his bare upper body, giggling like an idiot as Niall was panting underneath him, his sides already hurting from laughing so much.

“LIAM!” His voice got drowned in even more giggling, the brunette man’s fingers still digging into his skin, he was being gentle of course, but still no squirming helped the blonde to escape, no matter how loud he was screeching, Liam was way too strong and honestly… maybe it was a little bit hot. His firm weight on top of Niall pressing him down, holding his hands above his head. Shit. “LI-“

When Liam finally stopped, Niall was breathing even harder than he had before, eyes already teary, but somehow he had no energy left to glare at the brunette man, or pull his hands away, all he knew was that he had gotten painfully hard against Liam. And also a little bit mad, and though other feelings were overweighing that, Niall was really trying to overplay his arousal. 

“I… I hate you.” He panted, trying not to moan as Liam moved a bit on top of him, still grinning as he slowly released the younger’s hands, chuckling slightly. “That was really… mean.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” Obviously, he didn’t even seem guilty or anything, which maybe came form the fact that Niall wasn’t very good at acting mad, especially not when he had to choke back moans. It’s just… Liam looked so hot above him, all manly and strong and his smile was so gorgeous and Niall was so hot and sweaty and… not a good combination when he was trying to be pissed at someone. “You okay? I didn’t hurt you, right?”

“I… no.” Slightly taken off guard by the seriousness of that question, Niall automatically pressed his eyes shut as Liam moved once more, sitting down firmer on top of the younger one, causing Niall's hard on to rub against his thigh, apparently not having noticed yet how turned on the blonde was because of this, his moan seemed to surprised Liam a little bit.

“Um… you alright?” No.

“I… I’m fine.” Niall choked out, blinking his eyes open once more, his limbs feeling a bit numb as he simply stared up at Liam, actually being able to watch his expression change as realization crossed his mind. 

“Wait… you... got hard from this?” Well…

“Um… kinda.” Shrugging a bit, Niall wasn’t sure what he was supposed to feel, embarrassed? But no, this was just Liam and the blonde had done way worse things during sex than simply being turned on from some tickling, also, he was extremely blushed already anyways and Liam didn’t really seem weirded out or anything, he simply seemed surprised if anything. “I mean… it’s kind of hot, when… you hold me down and stuff, not just the tickling, you know.” 

“Okay.” Was finally everything Liam answered after a short moment of hesitation and before Niall had the chance to respond, Liam had already leaned back down to slam their lips back together, somehow more desperate than before, if even possible, probably pressing his hips down extra hard now. Good.

That was the thing about Liam when they were in bed, he would get really dominant and with no hint of shyness left and Niall absolutely _loved_ it, loved how eagerly Liam pushed his tongue past his lips. For a while, he allowed the younger one to have his arms wrapped tightly around his neck to hold him closer before suddenly unwrapping them, taking the boy’s words from before as advice and holding them above his head once more. Shit, why was this so freaking hot?! Niall wasn’t into bondage or stuff like that, but he couldn’t believe how hard this was getting him still, and maybe it was just Liam or something because he usually wasn’t this extreme anyways. 

As Liam’s lips kissed the corner of his mouth instead, Niall couldn’t help but whine, his eyes were closed as Liam started to kiss down his jaw and neck, leaving a wet trail before starting to suck on the younger’s skin, right above his pulse. Of course he couldn’t leave any marks, but even if he would have, Niall was too far gone as to notice anyways, especially when Liam’s free hand came up to stroke his bare skin, thumb rubbing over his nipple for a moment, causing him to hiss. “Liam…”

“Shh, wait.” Apparently the brunette man had a plan, his hand was still tight around Niall’s wrists, almost on the edge of being painful and yet the blonde didn’t try to resist, way too focused on Liam’s soft lips and scratchy beard pressing up against his skin, leaving wet and open mouthed kisses all over his skin and then finally down his chest.

When he reached the younger’s nipples, Niall thought he was going to die, hips bucking up to meet Liam’s, a pretty loud and also surprised moan escaping him when Liam lightly tickled his armpit at the same fucking time as sucking on his nipple, laughing quietly over Niall’s reaction afterwards. Maybe telling him about this hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. 

From there on, there was no kind of resistance coming from Niall anymore as Liam continued to pepper his whole body with kisses, holding his hands down still and occasionally tickling him but never allowing him to really move much or anything. As if he wasn’t doing any of this for the first time, he was so good at it, it seemed impossible that this was the same guy that had freaked out over them having a one night stand. 

As Liam released Niall’s wrist, the blonde couldn’t help but whine, he almost wanted to complain, about to open his eyes before he suddenly felt the older’s hot breath right on his crotch, through his sweatpants, placing another wet kiss there while his arm across Niall’s stomach was still holding him down. Okay, that was it, Niall wasn’t going to last, not if Liam kept this up, no way. “Shit… Liam… what’re you… doing?”

“Do you not like it?” What kinda question even was that?! Liam didn’t sound worried at all either, there might have been a smile in his voice but Niall felt too hot and bothered and turned on as to check, he was so desperate for Liam’s mouth on him now that he felt like he was about to die.

“Y-Yes, I do… just… “ Just nothing, Niall only wanted to push his hips up into Liam’s face and feel his hot breath on him without these annoying sweatpants in between, but he couldn’t really when the older one was holding him down so tightly. “Liam… please… “

“What?” Of course he was teasing, chuckling as the blonde let out a frustrated groan, opening his eyes just for a second to check whether Liam was really grinning while lying between his legs and he most definitely was. How could he be such a tease and then the next day blush whenever Niall would say the tiniest dirty thing?! “You… you want me to blow you?”

“Yes… “ Just the thought of it almost had Niall moaning again, of course he had blown Liam before but not the other way around, and he had such plump and nice lips, especially now after they had been snogging for so long. Shit. “Please… "

“Hmm… “ Was all Liam made after that, again amused over the annoyed whine Niall let out before pressing his eyes closed again, his fingers finding Liam’s arm across his stomach. He wasn’t trying to push him off because that would’ve been impossible anyways, so he just held on for support kind of, internally praying that the brunette man was going to get on with it finally. 

But he didn’t, not immediately of course, because apparently he really liked to be a tease and though Niall kinda hated him for it, he was also loving the shit out of it, not trying anymore to hold back as Liam continued to mouth at him over his sweatpants, as if he was determined to cause the blonde to cum into his pants like a teenager.

And he almost did, not only because Liam was freaking hot, but also because he was SO good at all of this, he knew how to use his mouth and it wasn’t even skin to skin contact yet and already driving Niall the fuck insane. For a moment, the blonde even wondered how he had gone a month without sex with Liam, and how he had found pleasure with these other people he had hooked up with, but then again… maybe he was only thinking that because Liam was literally five seconds from sucking him off. Hopefully.

When the brunette man finally removed his arm from across Niall’s stomach and started to pull down his sweatpants, the blonde boy eagerly lifted his hips to help him a little bit, hissing as his erection got trapped before slapping against his stomach, not surprised when Liam didn’t undress him completely, just enough to have his dick out. “You’re not wearing underwear.”

That observation almost had Niall laughing, had he not been so relieved to finally have his cock out and if Liam’s breath hadn’t been hitting his sensitive skin, driving him mad. He hadn’t come here without any intentions after all. “No… Liam… please.”

Again not answering, of course Liam didn’t immediately go for it, he just kept on kissing and sucking on Niall’s hipbones, very obviously avoiding his erection, hands placed on the boy’s upper thighs, probably to keep him down once more. Which was a good idea seeing as Niall wasn’t very good at self control when he was so close to being pushed over the edge, he was pretty sure that just seeing Liam down there would have been enough for him to lose it, so he purposely didn’t look, pressing his arm over his eyes as he tried not to whine too desperately. Obviously, he failed a tiny bit at that.

Instead of finally taking the blonde into his mouth, Liam suddenly wrapped a hand around Niall, only lightly, jerking him off a few times but not giving him quite enough pressure, his thumb rubbing over the head to collect the precum before spreading it over the younger boy’s length, hand occasionally sneaking down to massage his balls a little, knuckles rubbing against his taint and Niall actually tasted blood on his tongue from how hard he was biting on his bottom lip. “F-Fuck… yeah… L-Liam… you…. you’re s-so… shit… so g-good at t-this… aaah… yeah… aaah-“

At this point, Niall wouldn’t have even imaged to get what he had been longing for, his head was already spinning and his ears ringing from pleasure as the usual tightness and heat began to form in his stomach. Liam was really dragging it out, sometimes moving his rough hand a little faster and then immediately slowing down again when Niall’s breathing would get desperate, occasionally using his second hand as well to play with his balls and then suddenly letting go of him altogether. He was doing it on purpose, bringing the blonde close to the edge before suddenly stopping every movement and it was more frustrating than anything Niall had ever experience probably.

Maybe Liam was drawing it out a little bit because he was nervous, Niall had no idea if the brunette had ever even sucked a dick before or not, but frankly, he didn’t care at all in that moment, there was literally nothing on his mind other than how fucking good he felt right now. 

When Liam _finally_ placed a kiss on the tip of Niall’s cock, the blonde thought he was going to die, honestly. It was so hot and so wet and _perfect_ , the way Liam pulled his sensitive foreskin back before nibbling and licking at the sweaty and moistened skin, hand still jerking off the base slowly. Niall was a mess really, he felt sweat dripping down his forehead as he desperately tried to hold back, wanting this to last forever, fingers curling so tightly into the sheets that they hurt as Liam suddenly took him completely into his mouth before bobbing his head slowly.

Since Niall’s eyes were closed, it was easy to imagine that he was inside of the older man instead, something they had never really done because they hadn’t had sex THAT often and also Niall loved when Liam was the dominant one, but… the image of it was enough. The way Liam used his hand as well to make up for not being able to take the boy completely, going slow at first before speeding up just a little, tongue pressing into the slit to lick up more precum.

“Liam… Li… ‘m g-gonna… “ Trying to somehow warn the older man, Niall wasn’t even sure if it came out in whole words and it wasn’t like he could have held back, there had been so much build up that it felt even more intense now as his orgasm just washed over him without much warning.

Liam didn’t swallow, he pulled off right before Niall came, working him through it with his hand though as Niall coated his own stomach, probably moaning so loud that Harry and Louis would have heard it down the hallways if they hadn’t been in the hotel bar. Not that Niall could have controlled it, he was actually surprised with the intensity of it, his ears actually feeling a little bit numb as he slowly tried to come down afterwards, breath still going way too fast, his heart bumping three times its normal pace. Shit. 

“Fuck…” Was all Niall brought out, still keeping his arm over his eyes as his limps all felt dead, as if he would never ever be able to move again, but he felt relaxed as well and all lose and pliant, as if he could have just turned around right now and fallen asleep a second later.

“I assume that’s good.” Liam was laughing once more, a bit too loud for Niall’s ears, but the blonde still responded with a breathless chuckle and a lazy nod, his head filled with too many thoughts as to express how _good_ it had been exactly. Was Liam doing this like once a week to stay in training or what?! “Okay, I… wasn’t so sure, I… haven’t don’t this in a while.”

“’s a crime, Liam… keepin’ this from the world… holy shit.” The last part was only a breath, Niall didn’t know what to say, he was so sweaty and gross but he didn’t care one bit, the only reason why he finally removed his arm to blink his eyes open was because he felt Liam climbing off the bed.

It was very obvious that the older man was half hard in his training shorts and Niall felt really bad that he was the only who had gotten off, but at the same time there was a unmistakably proud smile on Liam’s face, his lips redder than they normally were, and more swollen as well. God he was so hot.

“What’re you… doin’?” Slightly confused but still unable to move, Niall watched as Liam went through his things before returning with a few tissues, wiping his own hand before combing back into bed. And then, he really caused Niall to feel even worse as he simply cleaned up the mess on the younger’s stomach as well, not even hesitating or anything, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. See, he was hot, good with his mouth, AND incredibly nice, that shouldn’t have been allowed, honestly. “I… thanks.”

“No problem.” Niall had been referring to both actually, he wasn’t usually thanking people for blow jobs but it really felt appropriate now, and besides, it was really worth seeing Liam’s smile, and the dimple on his cheek, his eyes crinkling up a bit. “You alright? You look a bit… worn out.”

“I am… but ’s good, don’t worry… really good.” Even better than just that actually, before Niall could really express his gratitude though, he was interrupted by a yawn, barely even noticing Liam pulling his sweatpants back up for him, covering him back up. Wait… “We… we’re not done though.”

“But you’re really tired.” True, but Niall was suddenly more than confused, not only because he was so exhausted and relaxed now, but also because… why would Liam just ignore the fact that he was obviously hard? “It’s fine, Niall, I know you’re jet lagged and everything.”

“Yeah, but… it wouldn’t be fair, I can-“

To Niall’s surprised, Liam didn’t let him sit up though, he simply kept him down with a light hand on his shoulder and the same smile, grinning when the blonde got surprised by an even stronger urge to yawn than before, already starting to feel really guilty. “C’mon, it’s alright, I really enjoyed myself too, you know. Teasing you is really funny.”

“Oh shut up… “ But Niall heard the fondness in his own voice and he couldn’t help the smile playing around his lips as he rubbed at his eyes with closed fists, not sure if he should have protested when Liam started to untangle the blanket. Like… he really felt like he should have paid him back for this mind blowing orgasm.

“I’m sorry. You seemed to be enjoying yourself though.” That really wasn’t worth a question now was it, Niall coming so hard his head had been spinning had probably been proof enough. 

“More than that… “ The blonde mumbled, not really knowing what to say when Liam threw the blanket over him without lying down himself. “Liam… “

“What? You’re staying here, right? We… we can tell Harry we were watching a movie and you slept in or something.” How on earth was he thinking about Harry now?!

“No, I… that’s not it, just… I’m not THAT exhausted, I can easily… help you out, you know, it’s not fair if-“

“Niall.” Liam interrupted once more, shaking his head a little bit, but there was a bit of flush tainting his cheeks again, but he was nevertheless smiling, causing Niall’s throat to get tight because Liam had seriously tucked him in. “It’s okay, really, I know you’re tired, I can see it in your face. Just go to sleep.”

The gentle order really didn’t leave Niall much room to argue, especially because he had to yawn yet again, feeling a bit light headed as he held Liam back right before he was about to climb out of bed, probably to take care of his… problem. “Wait, I… “

“What’s wrong?” Now Liam was worried AGAIN, and Niall didn’t know what devil had possessed him, but even though he still had the chance to pull out and not embarrass himself and act so completely not like himself, he simply didn’t do it and just blurted out with it.

“Can you… kiss me again?” There it was, Niall had asked and even though he wanted to take it back a second later, it was still what he wanted and also got in the end, because despite Liam’s obvious surprise, he did come back to connect their lips once more, more gentle this time, almost sweet.

Yeah, Niall should have genuinely been worried about what all of this was turning into, but he didn’t want to think about it, so he pushed it into the back of his head. Tried not to think about how he had basically just asked the brunette man to give him a goodnight kiss and how much he had enjoyed the sweetness of it or the soft smile he had gotten afterwards.

No, Niall simply turned around when Liam had walked off to the bathroom, pressing his eyes closed and trying to force himself to go to sleep without overthinking anything because that definitely was not what he usually did. And also, he didn’t enjoy it either when Liam slipped into bed as well later on after turning off the lights and finally also the TV, and most definitely did the blonde boy NOT enjoy that Liam seemed to move closer in his sleep, waking the blonde hours later in the middle of the night by wrapping an arm around his waist.

It was just because he was so tired and asleep again a second later that Niall allowed himself to be the little spoon, not because he found any pleasure in any of this, no fucking way. He didn’t like to be babied and tucked into bed, Liam had just been nice, nothing else, and Niall had been too tired to protest, that was all, there was nothing more to any of this.

… right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slight delay, im literally the laziest person in the whole world. also my laptop is kinda broken and i had to write the first part of the chapter 5 times bc it got deleted and then i wrote the rest somewhere else bc my text program is now broken. but hey, i finished :p  
> hope everyone liked the chapter, let me know!


	9. Chapter 9

Liam felt really comfortable when he woke up, maybe a bit too hot underneath the sheets, but it was definitely bearable and he was way too tired to care anyways. His alarm hadn’t even gone off yet but somehow he found himself drifting between sleep and being awake for a few minutes, head not exactly clear but still filled with some kind of weird dream he had had.

When Liam did start to clear the fog in his head a bit, he was first of all confused. Not only did he only have half of his blanket covering him, but no matter how hard he brought himself to pull on it, he couldn’t really completely tuck himself in. And then of course the even stranger thing, he felt slightly… as if something was holding him back, a strange weight around his stomach and then also the weird warmth against his arm. If Liam hadn’t been so confused, he might have started to panic.

It took a bit longer before the brunette man had finally fully gotten his memory back and somewhat blinked his eyes open, enough to be able to at least look down, as far as that was possible in a somewhat dark room that was only illuminated through the dim light shining between the curtains. Well, and then he did panic just a little bit once he realized what was going on.

Somehow, and Liam had no idea why, Niall had ended up all snuggled into his side, with his arm draped around Liam’s stomach while the blonde himself was on his stomach, face smushed up against the older’s arm. And if that wasn’t enough, they weren’t only sharing the blanket with Niall almost having pulled it all to himself, but they were rather sharing the space on the bed that was meant for only one person, that’s how fucking close they were.

First, Liam almost freaked the hell out and pushed the blonde off, or thought about just unwrapping the boy from around him and getting out of bed, but the longer he just laid there and thought about it, the calmer he got somehow. Like… did it honestly matter? They had shared a bed before and yes, Liam would have lost his mind normally, however… this was just Niall. The boy he regularly had phone sex with, the boy that had demanded a goodnight kiss last night, and also the boy he had blown just a few hours ago even though he hadn’t done anything like that in years probably.

Honestly, Liam didn’t know what it was, but the longer this went on between them, the more risky he got. Whenever he and Niall were just talking to each other and lying on the bed watching telly, the brunette man would find himself being all nervous at first. But then, the more time passed by, he would relax and suddenly feel so comfortable around Niall as if it would have been Louis, or as if they had known each other all their lives or something. Literally, there was no person as easy to talk to as Niall, none.

Further than that, whenever things would get… more heated and somewhat sexual, Liam found himself turning off his brain randomly, like last night, when he had suddenly been brave enough to tickle the shit out of Niall and then continue to make the boy putty in his hands by teasing him. What was even more surprising though, Liam had enjoyed the shit out of it as well, like, yeah, he had had to get himself off in the bathroom afterwards, but he had literally cum within five minutes.

And there was the next point. As fun as it was to do these things with Niall and as blushy as Liam could get sometimes whenever they just normally talked, as protective did he sometimes feel about the blonde as well. Like when Niall had looked like he might pass out afterwards or something, when he had looked so young and exhausted, it really did things to Liam he would have rather not named.

Of course Niall was 5 years younger than him, a bit more even, so it should have been natural to feel this way, right? But then why did Liam suddenly feel embarrassed and shy the very next second? And then confident all of a sudden when it came to making the boy squirm underneath him? If Liam had known that, he would have spared himself a whole ton of headache.

All he knew was that there was something about Niall he couldn’t put his finger on. Something that already made him sad whenever he thought about them having to part again, something that somehow made him not wanting to move out of this position and just lie there, not moving, letting the blonde mumble stuff and cuddle closer into him in his sleep.

Liam had honestly lost his god damn mind ever since he had agreed to any of this, ever since he had come to peace with himself and decided that they had gone way too far to stop this. Somehow Liam had felt strangely happy making that decision as well, as if he had needed an excuse for himself or something.

The brunette lay there for quite a while actually, without really knowing what time it was whatsoever, drifting in and out of sleep for a bit, half jolting awake again whenever Niall would move a bit or make some noise. He wasn’t talking in his dreams but he maybe did say a few words that Liam couldn’t really understand or even tried to, he just somehow felt really at ease like this, listening to Niall’s breathing, feeling the boy pressed up into his side.

Knowing that Liam could have never admitted this to anybody, not even Niall himself, was the only worrying part of this, once the blonde woke up, Liam was gonna pretend he had been asleep as well the whole time. Not that he could have moved away actually, at some point he did try to get his arm back for a second, only to have Niall tighten his own around him, not allowing Liam to do anything except lying there if he wouldn’t have wanted to use some force. And god knows he really didn’t.

"Hmmm…. " When Niall was about to wake up, it was easily noticeable because he kept stirring, let out a few sighs that could have been interpreted many ways, but the brunette man decided not to say anything. Well, until of course, he kinda had to. "… Liam?"

Niall’s voice was all raspy and deep, not like it usually was, and he sounded very unfocused as well and yet… yet the first clear question he had formed was asking for the brunette man. "Yeah, I’m here… you awake?"

Liam tried his best to not sound like he had pretty much woken up like half an hour ago already, he wasn’t quite sure, but it had definitely been a while. Slowly but surely, the brunette did feel himself getting slightly nervous, just at the thought of what Niall’s reaction might have been, or whether they’d talk about last night or something. Which was a bit stupid considering all the things that had happened between them already, but Liam couldn’t help but overthink everything a hundred and fifty times, it was just who he was.

"Mmmmh… how late’s it?" Understanding Niall while he was basically still asleep was a bit hard, but at least the blonde seemed to both know where he was and also who he was with, apparently not at all surprised about the position they had ended up in. Even more so, he took a while before loosening his arm and turning completely onto his back, pulling even more of the blanket with him in the process and leaving the brunette a little bit cold, mostly because of the lack of body heat he had to suffer from now.

"I don’t know, I… just woke up as well." Liam lied, feeling slightly guilty though because very obviously, Niall gave zero fucks about any of this, he just yawned rather loudly before rubbing his eyes with his knuckles while the brunette man tried not to stare at him. Or his silhouette more like, because it was still pretty dark inside the room. "Um…. you okay?"

"Yeah, ‘m great… great bed. And you’re really comfortable too." There was a very obvious smile in Niall’s voice that Liam couldn’t see though, but it immediately caused his stomach to turn a little bit, especially after what the blonde said next, easily, as if it was the most normal topic in the entire world. "I mean… how could I not be okay after last night, right?"

Right, Liam was a tiny bit speechless after that, especially because Niall let out a throaty laugh, moving a bit next to the brunette until they almost ended up touching again. "Yeah, I… glad you… enjoyed yourself."

"I certainly did… what about you?" He sounded more awake and Liam wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, they luckily had no lights on yet so his flushed cheeks were staying a secret for now, but they surely wouldn’t forever.

"I… what do you mean?" Was he asking if Liam had enjoyed himself? Because it had been quite easy to admit all of this last night, but now, in the light of a new day… Liam wasn’t so sure anymore. Sure, he had had great fun, he would have done it again as well, but lying here like this with Niall, after probably cuddling the whole night without either of them knowing… that was a tad different.

"I mean, are you okay? How’d you sleep? I hope I don’t actually snore, Harry says I do, but you didn’t say anything last time either, so… " Thank god, Liam almost let out a breath of relief but luckily held back, his body relaxing a bit as he finally was brave enough to reach for his phone on the nightstand to check the time. Probably to read 50 teasing messages by a certain friend of his.

"Oh… no, you don’t. I think, I… I mean, if you do then it didn’t bother me. I slept really well too… " Too well maybe, now Liam was getting hot again, even though he was glad to see that it was only 1 in the afternoon and that Louis had only texted him twice. At least something.

"Good. Sorry for moving over by the way, didn’t really notice." Niall actually didn’t sound sorry at all, Liam felt the boy sitting up next to him before seeing it, finally pulling the last bit of blanket with himself and off of the brunette. "I mean, actually _you_ were the one who started it anyways."

"Um… what?" Deciding against his idea to turn on the lights, Liam stopped in the movement, his heart beating a bit faster as he waited for an answer. What did Niall mean? HE had been the one to cuddle up to Liam... right?

"Well, you did wake me up one time because you decided we needed to spoon. And let me tell you, normally I wouldn’t be alright with being the little spoon, but I thought I’d make an exception for you. And also because I was really tired." Oh god.

Immediately after it was out, Niall started chuckling, as if this was hilarious or something, as if Liam almost having a heart attack next to him in bed was amusing. Luckily he wasn’t able to see how big the brunette’s eyes had gotten or how stupidly wide his mouth was hanging open because that… that would have been slightly embarrassed. Even more than it really was to begin with, like… what the hell?! Had Liam REALLY done that?! He needed to get himself checked.

"Anyways, are we gonna get up, or… ?" Apparently, Niall hadn’t even expected an answer to that, or maybe he was just being nice and giving Liam a free pass or something, but he sounded rather joyful as he climbed out of bed, OVER Liam, just to get to the curtains.

"I- _Shit_." Before Liam could have even attempted to say something, the blonde had already pulled the curtains back in one swift movement, forcing Liam to press his eyes closed from the sudden pain caused by the light, momentarily even forgetting about his embarrassment about the cuddling situation.

"Sorry, didn’t expect it to be this… bright. But holy shit… that view gets even better when you’ve slept over it for a night." No idea how Niall had gotten used to the brightness that quick, but when Liam had finally managed to at least open one of his eyes halfway and somewhat clumsily sat up, the blonde was standing right in front of the window, staring outside as if he hadn’t already done that yesterday. Maybe Liam had just gotten immune to pretty views, maybe he was too spoiled. "I can see your fans from up here, this is crazy."

"Wh- Can they see you?!" Liam almost lost his mind over this, Niall just randomly threw it in and yet the brunette was up and about to jump out of bed and tackle the blonde away from the window or something. What a scandal would that have been? Especially because Niall was bloody shirtless and had hair that very clearly did not scream innocent sleep over.

"Nah. We’re too high up and the windows are probably reflecting… I can’t really see them individually anyways, it’s just a crowd of people. I mean… maybe they’re here for Louis and not you, Harry told me he’s pretty famous, you know." That was obviously sarcastic, Liam snorted before trying to calm himself down a bit, this boy was gonna give him a heart attack one day. "But probably not as famous as you, I mean… blankets with your face on? Really?"

"Did you… look up the merch site?" Oh god, why the hell was Liam getting embarrassed again? Niall was smirking as he came back, scratching his bare and rather pale belly, probably easily catching the pink tainting Liam’s cheek before he quickly looked away, trying not to think about how low the blonde’s sweatpants had slipped.

"No, they had them with them yesterday when we arrived, I think they slept in front of the hotel to be honest. But wait… a _merch site_? Jesus, Liam… what else have you got? Socks? Underwear?" It was a joke, so clearly that Liam should have found it easy to just laugh it off with Niall, but unfortunately, he just blushed even worse instead, giving himself away immediately, the blonde's face turning from amused to surprised. "Jesus Christ, that’s crazy! Well, at least now I know what I’m getting Harry for Christmas."

"I’ll get you a free pair… " Liam choked out in an attempt to somehow get some of his pride back, a tiny bit proud when Niall bursted out laughing before climbing back into bed, a whole lot more distance between them now.

"Thanks, mate. I’m sure Haz will be thrilled." Obviously, Niall found his own joke hilarious, he was still amused while slipping on his shirt that had somewhere been lying bunched up by their feet the whole night, apparently not at all thinking about why it had ended up there in the first place. Good thing Liam was blushed enough for the both of them already. "Speaking of Harry… he only texted me three times, his night with Louis must've been thrilling."

"What'd he say?" Liam anxiously watched the blonde scrolling through his phone, no idea how he had even found it that quickly, he had probably slept on top of it or something.

"Nothing, just asked where I am and then ten minutes later he said that I'm a liar for pretending to be tired when I really just wanted to sneak off to your room." Oh. Well, this wasn't too bad but Liam was pretty sure that the other two had had a talk about this anyways, not that it really mattered, just... maybe it would be just a little bit embarrassing once they'd all meet up again later. Then again, Liam and Niall weren't the only ones who had spent time alone together.

"Umm... well... did you?" Liam felt kinda stupid for asking but he couldn't help himself, it's just, he really had thought that Niall had been jet legged, and he had been really worried as well, maybe embarrassingly much. So naturally, he of course hadn't suspected Niall to just be playing around, but it had almost seemed like it when he had knocked on Liam's door with the brightest grin plastered across his face. Of course he hadn't asked anymore and just let him inside the room, who was Liam to question why or how Niall wanted to be alone with him, especially since the brunette had already been depressed enough thinking that he would have to sit alone in his room. 

Niall didn't answer immediately though, it was almost as if he hadn't heard the question as he typed on his phone, looking up shortly before Liam had already been about to change the topic, his smile so cheeky that the older man blushed just from their eyes locking. And then he winked at Liam, casually, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Maybe."

And that was all Liam ever got, his confusion not really disappearing as the blonde pocketed his phone before once again throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, apparently about to leave or something, but whatever he was about to do, it caused Liam to panic. "Wait, I... what're you doing?"

"Just using your shower... if you don't mind? Like... Harry's already awake and... I don't know if I wanna go over just yet because he's gonna be a pain in the arse." He wasn't the only one, Liam nodded sympathetically, trying not to think about Niall being naked in his shower, ever since all of this had started, he had definitely been thinking a few too many inappropriate things. 

"No, I... yeah that's fine, sure, um... I don't know if there's another towel, but... you can use mine. If you want." Honestly, there was no person in the world Liam would have offered his towel to, but with Niall it just came out and he didn't spend a second thought on it, especially not anymore when the blonde threw a thankful grin at him and the brunette realized that he would have probably also borrowed Niall his toothbrush. Shit, Louis had been right, that boy really somehow had Liam wrapped around his little finger, didn't he?

"Thanks, Payno. I'll hurry up and then we'll think of what we tell the others, okay? I kinda have an idea about how we can embarrass them so much that they won't even ask about what we have been doing in the first place." Sounded really good, no idea how Niall managed to be this cheerful when they were so close to being uncovered as liars who had been hooking up for months, but when the blonde smiled, Liam couldn't help but return it with a slightly turning stomach.

Why was it so hard to worry around Niall? Or think about anything really that didn't revolve around the blonde or his stupid amazing way to kiss? Liam wasn't sure if he ever even wanted an answer to these questions.

 

—————————

 

Niall's plan of embarrassing Harry and Louis worked a lot better than expected, especially because Liam simply settled for keeping his mouth shut and laughing once Niall had managed to make the other two feel very obviously embarrassed.

They had spent another hour or so in Liam's hotel room before, alone, after they had both used the same towel and Liam had felt a bit guilty for jerking off in the shower but had quickly gotten over it when he had come back and Niall had been lying on the bed with his hand in his sweatpants. He seemed so eager that he barely even waited for Liam to fully get back into bed before already pulling him down for a random snog. Luckily he wasn't the only one who liked morning make out sessions because Liam definitely was a sucker for that.

As soon as they had met the other two after a quick stop in Niall's room, the blonde had immediately put up a giant grin before simply asking "And, how did your date go, guys?" causing Harry to glare at him and Louis pretending to laugh, when really, he was probably pretty pissed off as well when Niall continued to make up a story, about how he had stayed behind on purpose to give them some privacy, clearly making fun of them. Needless to say, they were pretty eager to switch the topic and Liam couldn't help but think of how fucking good Niall was at this.

It was weird though like, neither Louis nor Harry really said a word about what they had even done or talked about last night, they also acted completely normal around each other the whole day long, so basically, Liam had no fucking idea what was going on between them. Not that he was that curious, just... it was slightly weird, from Louis' side mostly, but maybe he was simply being nice? Or he genuinely liked Harry, and that thought got Liam just a tiny bit nervous. If they really got together or something, it'd automatically somehow put both Harry and Niall into the spotlight, and then they'd have to be even more careful than they already had to be anyways. Then again... if Harry and Louis were the reason for this all to spill, at least Liam wouldn't have to feel guilty, right?

Though there were some topics all four of them were clearly avoiding, Liam still had the time of his life during the last two days of his tour, especially after the last concert, because they all went down to drink at the hotel bar with Liam's crew and band and no one even noticed him and Niall sneaking off together to Liam's room, already having their clothes ripped off one another before the brunette remembered to lock the door.

There was nothing much they could do obviously, New York wasn't really one of the cities Liam could walk around in in public, but just this once he didn't find himself being sorry for himself because of that. Just this once, he was actually really glad to be locked inside the hotel and the reason for that was definitely not that his best friend had come to visit.

A day after Liam's concert, they all had to be brought to the airport separately, for obvious reasons, and though Liam told himself that he didn't really care, he was a tiny bit glad that he was alone in the car rather than with Louis. It were only a few minutes, but just the thought of them sitting there together and maybe somehow starting to talk about why Niall had never once slept in his room with Harry would have been... not so cool.

But other things definitely were.

"Holy fucking bullshit, this can't be real. It can't." For example Niall's and Harry's faces upon entering the private jet, looking like two children really who had just come downstairs on Christmas Morning and it'd be a lie to say that it didn't make Liam smile like an idiot. "Do you always fly with this thing, Li?!"

The use of Liam's nickname out of Niall's mouth caused his stomach to tingle a little bit, warmth spreading in his body as he laughed, letting someone from the crew pass by them as Niall and Harry had dead on stopped in the entrance, apparently too shocked to walk inside. "Most of the time, yeah. But only because it's safer."

"Oh, yeah, of course, and not at all because it's how the queen travels, right?" Niall was clearly trying to sound sarcastic but it still came out a bit breathless, his eyes still busy scanning every centimetre of the inside of the airplane.

"I'm not quite sure if the queen travels as much as Liam does though." Louis threw in with a chuckle before pushing past all of them, his hand very briefly touching Harry, leaving Liam wondering whether he had just had hallucinations. "I'm gonna sit next to the window if none of you hurries up."

"Everyone can sit by the window, Lou." Which was very true, they had enough space for everyone to have private seats of course, even if Liam bit his tongue right after that was out because obviously... he didn't REALLY want Niall to sit so bloody far away from him, especially not because they only had hours together now. Well, a lot of hours, but still.

Once Harry and Niall had finally woken up from their trance, Louis had already found himself a seat, and Liam didn't even know anymore why he was surprised that Harry went to sit next to him, he should have already seen that coming. Now if Niall would sit somewhere else other than next to Liam then the brunette was probably going to-

"C'mon, I don't wanna have to watch these two joining the mile high club." Though of course there was already protest coming from Harry's side as soon as Niall had finished the sentence, Liam was more than stunned to feel the blonde's hand wrapping around his wrist, lightly, pulling him away from the others and down the aisle, Louis' stare still burning holes into Liam's back as they went to sit somewhere else. Not far as to where they couldn't have seen or talked to each other anymore of course, it was still a private jet, not a mansion. "Can I sit by the window?"

"I... sure." Niall had already sat down by the window anyways, and no person in the world would have been able to tell him no really, not when he had the face of an excited child put on. But also, Liam was still a bit in shock, also felt a tiny bit uncomfortable now meeting his best friend's eyes, even if Louis was just smirking a bit at him across the plane. At least the brunette man had gotten what he had wanted, right?

"This is so sick, man... I never would have imagined it like that. It's so much bigger than in movies, do you have like... the deluxe version of a private jet?" Now that they were seated, the blonde had immediately gone over to half pressing his face against the window, even though they were still on the ground, his hoodie slipping a bit and Liam sent a quick prayer to heaven that no one had seen that love bite on the younger's neck. Maybe they shouldn't have been drinking so much last night.

"I don't think so, it's just...a normal private jet. Trust me, after the second time, you'll be used to it." Liam made sure to sound somewhat convincing, but Niall immediately turned his head to roll his eyes at him, very obviously not believing Liam's bullshit.

"There's no way anyone could EVER get used to this, Li." There it was again, the nickname, Liam didn't know when Niall had started using it or why, but he definitely liked it, almost prompting him to use the nicknames Harry called Niall as well but always holding back in the last second. As if it was that big of a deal, he had literally been _inside_ this boy last night. "Can't believe you made me fly in a normal plane three times before that."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Just kidding, come on." The elbow in Liam's ribs only hurt a little bit, but he managed to smile when he heard Niall's laugh, relieved to hear that he hadn't been serious. Not that Liam would have minded arranging that for him next time, only... it wouldn't have fit Niall's personality at all to almost demand that. "Although, in here I really don't have to worry about claustrophobia at all."

"Did you... did you have to in the other ones?" Oh god, now Liam's maternal feelings were kicking back in, like, on one hand he wanted to baby the boy but on the other he would have been embarrassed and then of course there still was the part in his head that just wanted to undress Niall. Liam had developed serious issues.

"Nah, not really, it's fine, don't worry, I haven't really had an attack in quite a while, maybe I'm healed." Though it was clearly a joke, Liam at least tried to return the smile in a somewhat comforting manner. Not that Niall needed to be comforted, it always seemed like nothing at all could have gotten him even just slightly upset.

"Well... if you do start to, like... feel bad, just let me know, okay?" Liam kinda meant in general and not only for the time of this flight, but he didn't really think it would've been a good idea to clarify that right now. It would have sounded slightly too protective and also... he didn't care THAT extremely much now, did he?

"Yeah, no worries, I won't freak out all over you or something, I'll be fine, especially in here." As if to proof a point, Niall somehow made himself seem even more comfortable, he only had had sweatpants on to begin with, but when he slipped his shoes off and pulled his hoodie off to use it as a pillow, Liam was pretty sure he had never made a person as happy as Niall by introducing them to his own lifestyle. Seriously though, it was nice to watch and it gave the brunette man a very pleased feeling, knowing he was genuinely making Niall smile, with things that seemed so simple to Liam. 

"We'll have a lot of distraction anyways, and wait until you see the food we-"

" _Food_?! Honestly? In here? Okay, now I'm sold, I'm gonna move in here, Liam, you'll never get me put of here again." It almost seemed like it already, Niall sounded genuinely surprised and the more than happy face made Liam smile so big his cheeks actually hurt, there probably was nothing in the world that made him feel better than seeing Niall's face lightning up like the sun because of something he had done or said. Maybe that was slightly worrying but Liam couldn't bring himself to care right now, not when they were both in such a good mood.

Turned out that the airplane starting was even more exciting to Niall than anything else, he honeslty almost pressed his nose against the window as if he had never been on a plane before. But, as he explained to Liam, this was different because it was a private jet so everything was 10 times cooler than in a normal plane. Liam was yet to figure that out obviously.

It wasn't only the blonde who seemed to have the time of his life though because Harry seemed pretty impressed by everything as well, as far as Liam could tell from where he was sitting. Knowing that did make him feel a slight bit bad, because they were both two college guys and obviously pretty broke and this was the most exciting thing they had ever experienced, or so it seemed.

Thoughts like this would cross Liam's mind a lot, especially when Niall briefly mentioned his bad relationship with his family or how he had admitted that the only person he could really talk to was Harry. Whenever he started to worry that maybe Niall didn't genuinely like him as a person, thinking of that helped a lot, because even though Liam was pretty sure that the blonde was never going to admit it, he sometimes seemed so eager to tell Liam things that the brunette man couldn't help but come to the conclusion that when Niall had offered him someone to talk to two months ago, he had kinda also been doing it a little bit for himself.

They really did seem to fit perfectly like this, they suddenly both had someone to call other than their best friends, Niall got to experience all these things and Liam in return felt a lot less lonely with the boy around. So really, what could have been bad about whatever they were doing when it seemed so damn right to Liam?

Somehow it was amazing actually, how Louis had been the one suggesting all of this, Liam would have never thought that it'd turn out like this, so... seperated, but he sure as hell didn't complain about his best friend solely focusing on Harry, meant he had time for other things as well. Or people more like.

A few hours in, Liam felt himself getting tired, despite the easy going conversation him and Niall kept up, actually making this feel a whole lot better than any other flight Liam had been on before. Sadly though, it also seemed to pass by a lot quicker as well.

"Are you gonna sleep in?" Niall interrupted his very detailed description of Harry's kitchen, which seemed to be his least favorite place in the world, almost startling Liam a little bit. The brunette man had had a hard time not letting his eyes fall closed, but it was kind of soothing, the noises the plane made combined with Niall's voice, he might have really passed out had the blonde not asked him directly, followed with a hand on Liam's bare arm that felt a lot more like his skin was being burned off. In a kind of pleasant way though, if that was even possible.

"I... no, I'm awake... just tir-" And then Liam got interrupted by his own yawn, cheeks immediately turning red even though Niall's chuckle sounded rather soft, leaving a tingly feeling behind on the older's arm as he pulled his hand away. "Sorry... just, we had a really, um... late night last night."

"Yeah. Guess we're not the only ones though." Confused by Niall's cheeky grin, Liam followed the direction the blonde's eyes were going, to be honest not that surprised at what he saw. Both Harry and Louis had fallen asleep, not really against one another but pretty close. "I wonder what they've been doing during the nights, I'm not even sure if Harry _really_ stayed in our room."

"I'm not quite sure if I even want to know, I mean... they probably went after.... other activities than us anyways." Most likely, although it would've actually fit better to Louis than to Liam to sleep with people he wasn't dating. Which didn't really say anything though because before Niall had happened, even the pope would have been more likely to have a friend with benefits.

"I guess, Harry would have been a whole lot more blushed if they'd hooked up, he's the worst at keeping secrets, so be glad you chose me because I'm a pro." No doubt at that, but Liam could only return the grin half heartedly, trying not to interpret too much into this and start thinking about other secrets Niall could have been easily keeping from Liam as well. "Do you reckon anybody else could hear or see us?"

"I doubt it... they're all sitting pretty far away and no one's really paying attention to us anyways... why?" Judging by Niall's face, Liam should have already guessed it, but he remained confused for a second, even as the younger boy removed the armrest between them to scoot closer until his thigh was firmly pressing into Liam's and warming it up. Oh, that's why. "Niall, I... I'm not sure if that's a good idea, I-"

"Shhh, come on, no one's ever gonna know, okay? Promise." There was absolutely no way Niall could have ever promised that, but his fingers dancing over Liam's arm and suddenly rubbing over his chest, the way his eyes would get a bit darker as they flickered down to Liam's lips caused the brunette to swallow his protest down immediately. One day he would have to admit to himself that he was never ever going to reject this boy, especially not when they were hours from having to part for god knows how long.

When Niall tilted his head for a kiss, Liam's eyes flattered closed automatically, for a moment wondering if Niall would throw himself all eager at the older one, maybe even climb over to straddle his lap because that would have seemed a lot like him. But to Liam's very surprise, he didn't do any of these things, his hand slipped up to cup the side of Liam's face, pressing a bit closer into him until their breath was mixing, lips brushing just a bit, Niall's thumb rubbing over the older's cheekbone.

They never really went with the gentle and slow way, so Liam was a bit surprised but his heart on the other hand was maybe beating even faster than normally, because the blonde made him wait for it and when he _finally_ applied more pressure and pressed his lips on top of Liam, it was like a relief to the older one, fingers blindly grabbing onto Niall's waist, the material of his hoodie bunching up in Liam's fist. They definitely needed to take it more slowly more often from now on because it was really messing with Liam's head, the way Niall's soft lips felt against his like this, no eager pushing of his tongue or trying to get Liam to fully open his mouth. It was just this for a while, lips meeting again and again, touching each other in whatever way possible, noses brushing, until they were both running short of breath. 

Niall didn't pull away though, despite their heavy breathing, if anything, he leaned even closer, almost falling in Liam's lap as his tongue nudged its way into the brunette's mouth, slowly, giving him more than a shudder as it met his, in the most gentle way possible. What exactly had gotten into Niall that he was suddenly so into kissing Liam this gentle and sweet? Maybe he was getting as sentimental as Liam thinking about them having to part soon, which seemed unlikely but it was the best explanation Liam could come up with. And it wasn't like he didn't enjoy the hell out of it after all, he freaking loved this, loved having Niall's warm hand caressing his face and the blonde's taste in his mouth, his tongue massaging Liam's, the tiny noises he was clearly trying to suppress but somehow couldn't. 

Something he would have least expected in a situation like this though, where they were being so soft and making out so slowly, was the blonde's hand starting to wander, knuckles brushing over Liam's jaw and down his neck, playing with his shirt for a second before accidentally (or not) rubbing a bit too hard over where the brunette's nipple was, causing the older one to groan and Niall to giggle into his mouth. And then he promptly put his hand right onto Liam's crotch.

"Ni-"

"Sh." Not leaving the older one any time to talk, Niall kissed him harder all of a sudden, using his second hand as well as he started to try and undo Liam's belt, the brunette's heart beating faster than any time before, he couldn't fucking allow Niall to get his cock out in the middle of a plane!

"Niall... w-wait." Liam tried again, with a bit more succcess this time, even if he felt a little bit too breathless and numb to really grab Niall's wrists and physically stop him from doing what he was about to. 

"Why? Nobody's watching... c'mon." Niall mumbled against Liam's lips, barely even pulling back and kissing him again a second later, his fingers having managed to open Liam's belt by now, only needing about half a second to pop the button as well. Really, what was Liam to do about this? He was feeling hot and bothered already and it'd be a lie to say that his boxers weren't already feeling a bit tighter, but they were still in his goddamn private jet with their friends only meters away for god's sake! "Just relax, Li..."

"I... we shouldn't..." It was probably the weakest attempt at a protest ever, Liam knew that this was wrong, that this was a whole lot worse than anything else they could have done (other than fucking loudly in the toilet of course), but when Niall's hand slipped right into Liam's jeans, he couldn't do much except for moaning into the blonde's mouth, guilt already bubbling up in his stomach that quickly got overshadowed by other feelings.

Though Niall wasn't doing much except for fondling Liam through his boxer shorts, the brunette immediately felt all the blood rushing to his crotch, choking back another moan when Niall kissed him even harder, practically fucking his tongue into the older's mouth now, barely anything left from the sweetness of before. Not that it would have still been appropriate, because Liam had the hardest time ever to not push his hips up into the blonde's hand, his brain somehow turning off, completely blocking out the fact that anyone could have been watching and that they'd have to be really quick and quiet. 

Niall's mouth slipped from Liam's as they were both starting to pant, the older's head already starting to feel dizzy as Niall continued to kiss down his jaw and neck, wet open mouthed kisses, hot breath hitting the brunette's skin, eyes still pressed closed as he bit his swollen bottom lip in a pathetic attempt to keep quiet. "Relax..."

Easier said than done, Liam honeslty tried to fully relax with Niall sucking right where his pulse was, but it got seemingly harder whenever the blonde moved his hand _into_ Liam's boxer shorts, wrapping his fist around his already fully hard cock, not really moving it much yet, but enough to cause the brunette to let out an involuntary moan. It was rather quiet and deep but Liam's eyes still flew open, somehow trying to check whether Louis and Harry had woken up, but they were still deeply asleep somehow. For now. "Ni... "

"'s okay... " Was all the blonde answered, causing Liam's brain to turn to jelly as he fully pulled his erection out of his pants and into the open, literally risking it all now, but not giving the brunette any room to resist because now that Niall's hand was finally free to move, he immedaitely used the chance, forcing the brunette man to lean his head back with tightly shut eyes, allowing the blonde even better access to his neck as he kept jerking Liam off in a somewhat regular rythm. Holy shit.

The blonde was phenominally good with his hands, so that wasn't really helping at all, he always made sure to do a full stroke, thumb spreading the embarrassingly much amount of precum over the head and down Liam's length, rubbing it into the foreskin for a smoother glide, his hand making a faint wet noise with every flick of his wrist. There was absolutely no way that no one heard them, but Liam was way too far gone now as to care, especially when Niall's mouth was back on his, though they weren't really kissing because Liam was just panting, fingers digging into the other armrest as he tried to desperately keep it together. "Fuck... "

"Gotta be quiet, Li." His breath against Liam's mouth gave the older one even more goosebumps, he was really glad when Niall's tongue joined his once more because it made it a lot easier trying to stay quiet, even if his brain was way too mushy already as to kiss back properly. The younger boy was just so damn good at handjobs that it should have been illegal to be honest, he knew _exactly_ what he was doing to Liam and he was probably having a laugh teasing him, slowing down whenever the older's breath would get more desperate, stopping altogether sometimes just to get an involuntary whine out of him. 

"Please..." Was all Liam brought out, very well aware that Niall loved the risk, the fact that anyone could have walked past, and seen Liam's leaking cock with Niall's hand wrapped around it, and yeah, maybe it was a tiny bit hot, but only if Liam completely ignored the fact that he was terrified as fuck about being caught, he was just way too turned and too close as to do anything against it.

And then the blonde boy made it even worse.

One moment his lips were right against Liam's, letting him pant against them, and then suddenly the next one his hand had slipped to the base of Liam's erection and the top was enveloped into wet heat, tongue sweeping over the head and into the slit while his fist worked the rest that Niall couldn't take with his mouth and Liam honestly thought he had gone to heaven or something. Since his eyes were pressed closed so tightly, it almost felt like being inside of the boy, the way he bobbed his head, taking all of Liam at once, there was no way they were being subtle or quiet, but the brunette man barely even noticed anymore, unconsciously grabbing a fistful of blonde hair, just focusing on breathing through his nose, trying not to let every single sound escape him.

This time, Niall thankfully didn't pull off right as Liam was about to come, he obviously decided to have mercy on him, instead working him through it as the brunette came without warning, not having been able to open his mouth and tell Niall because he would have surely released a moan along with that for the whole plane to hear. Because damn, he could barely hold back, even while biting his lip bleeding and probably hurting the blonde boy with how tightly he was grabbing his hair, the force of his orgasm not allowing him to keep completely quiet but rather releasing a very embarrassing whine that surely someone must have heard.

Niall didn't even flinch, he simply swallowed all of it, working Liam through it, still keeping his hand around him afterwards even as Liam slowly came down from it and his cock was growing soft, feeling slighlty oversensitive as the blonde boy continued to lick him clean until Liam softly pulled his hair to get him to lift his head, heart bumping fifty times too fast and there was the taste of blood inside his mouth as well, sweat dripping down the side of his face, chest heaving. "Bloody hell... "

When Niall's head came back up, his face seemed slightly flushed but he was grinning pretty wide, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand while looking at Liam, a throaty laugh escaping him when their eyes met and the brunette's cheeks immediately heated up even more than they already had before. He couldn't fucking believe that he had allowed Niall to do this, this was fucking insane. "Good yeah? Told you no one would notice anything, they're all still asleep."

Shaking his head a bit, Liam was way too tired now as to check, he barely managed to tuck himself back in and get decent again, trying to figure out what he was even supposed to be feeling right now, his brain still not working a hundred percent correctly. "I... my heart is literally... beating so fucking fast."

Without a warning, Niall let out a chuckle before placing his hand right over Liam's heart, pretty firmly as well, probably causing it to beat even faster than it already had anyways. "Damn, it really is. But it's fine, Li, they're firmly asleep, nobody even did as much as look at us, did they? We're all good and you gotta admit it was really hot, on a fucking expensive private jet and all."

Maybe he was right, all Liam knew was that he was still trying to catch his breath and come down a little bit, wiping his forehead because of how sweaty it felt, letting his head sink back against the seat once more as he looked at Niall, who still had this giant smile on his face, not really thinking as he spoke. "You know... you're going to literally kill me one day, Niall."

The only reaction to this was quite a loud laugh out of Niall's mouth, maybe because of how genuine Liam had sounded, the blonde threw his head back a little, and then, just as Liam was about to close his eyes and maybe finally fully catch his breath and get his heart to calm down a bit, the blonde boy put his forehead against Liam's shoulder out of nowhere, saying the very least thing Liam would have ever expected out of his mouth. Like, _ever_. "I'm really gonna miss you."

There was no way for Liam to tell whether this had been a joke or not, he just froze for a second, forgetting to breathe for a moment as he let this sink in, first of all thinking he had been hallucinating or something. But Niall had definitely just said that, had definitely just admitted what Liam hadn't ever been brave enough to say and probably never would be. Was he just joking around? He probably didn't even mean it like that anyways, there was no reason for Liam to get all giddy feeling and for his stomach to warm up, there was no fucking way Niall was being serious, so Liam decided to do it off as a joke, smiling weakly even though Niall's head was still on his shoulder, which, honeslty, was even weirder than what he had said. "Me or... the sex?"

Obviously, that amused the blonde even more because he was laughing yet again before lifting his head once more, not a hint of embarrassment on his face or even just the tiniest blush, so Liam took that as confirmation that it definitely HAD been a joke. What he wouldn't have seen coming though was the kiss Niall smacked against his lips, literally leaving the brunette man speechless. "Both. I'll go have a piss, alright?"

"I... okay." Liam's answer sounded a bit dumb probably, but how could it have not been?! Niall had just said all these things and bad then proceeded to _kiss_ him out nowhere for god's sake, what had gotten into him?! "It's um... that way."

"I'll bring you back some paper towels, you look a bit... well, proper fucked. I mean, provided there even are normal paper towels, I wouldn't be surprised to have someone offering to dry my hands for me in here." With that, the blonde simply got up and somehow managed to get past Liam to the aisle, his face and mood nothing but happy and bright, the smirk he threw at the older man getting Liam even hotter than he had already been all along, just... what the actual fuck?

Watching Niall walking down the aisle with a somewhat empty brain, Liam had a hard time to even believe that any of this had even happened. There was no way he could have seen any of this coming or prepared himself, just two months ago, if anyone had told him he was gonna be this close to some 20 year old college student and let him blow him on his private jet, Liam would have thought they had mistaken him for someone else. He had let all of this happen, had let Niall kiss him like this and then get into his pants and as much as Liam would have liked to deny it, he hadn't done nearly enough to stop it from happening. He had enjoyed it, a lot more than anyone would ever know.

With Niall it was like, you never knew what was gonna happen next or what he was gonna do or say, something that actually was completely the opposite of how Liam liked things to be, he liked knowing what would happen next, have some sort of a plan. And yet he and Niall got along so well, even though every time Liam thought he had finally figured the boy out, he would to something like right now, tell Liam he was gonna miss him and then randomly kiss him, as if he did it all the time. It was impossible to know what was going on inside of Niall's mind, literally, sometimes Liam would worry he was just here for the sex or whatever, because he alwaysd acted so tough and cool, but then the next second he was being so damn sweet and Liam didn't even know whether the blonde was aware of any of that.

Maybe this was just how he acted around everybody, flirty and funny with random acts of sweetness in between, it actually shouldn't have even bothered Liam as much that he hadn't figured the boy out completely, it's not like they were together or something, they were just... friends. Well, friends with benefits but nothing less or more than that and Liam finally needed to stop analyzing everything the boy did or said because it was giving him a headache and nothing else. This was just who Niall was, spontaneous and all, and obviously he had to at least like Liam as a friend or he wouldn't have been doing and saying all these things... right?

When Niall came back several minutes later, Liam had somewhat managed to calm down, he was only slightly embarrassed over the paper towels the blonde handed him, because that meant it was obvious that he had gotten sweaty, but he still accepted them gratefully in order to wipe his forehead. "Thanks... and, was the bathroom like you expected it to be?"

"Even better, it's probably as big as my bedroom. And a lot cleaner as well." Settling back into his seat, Niall still seemed a bit impressed by what he had just whitnessed, he pulled his feet up on the seat now as he had had his shoes off since hours now, the same crooked grin as always appearing on his face. "Now I can cross having a wank on a private jet off my To Do list."

"You... " Oh. Well, Liam should have known probably, Niall had been gone for like 15 minutes, but he suddenly felt guilt rushing through him, even if the blonde didn't seem bothered by it in any way. "I... I would have... I mean... I'm sorry-"

"Don't be, 's completely fine. I owed you one anyways, for when I was so tired on friday. And anyways, I know you were scared of getting caught, so... " He simply shrugged, as if discussing this was the most normal thing in the entire world and before Liam could even open his mouth to reply, Niall had already switched the topic. "We should play a prank on Harry and Louis, they're like dead or something, I'm pretty sure they haven't moved ever since they slept in."

"What kinda... prank?" Liam was slighlty unsure about this, especially because of Niall's mischevious grin and also because he knew that Louis was defenitely going to pay Liam back for this big time.

"I don't know yet, I kinda just wanna keep Harry from sleeping because he was bugging me the whole time when we flew here and kept waking me up, it was annoying as shit. But maybe I'll wait for that until we're back home, put his hands in some warm water so he'll pee himself or something... while we're on the train. That'd be hilarious." Niall's eyes were actually sparkling a bit as he shared his plan with Liam and the older man didn't doubt for one second that Niall would actually do stuff like this to his best friend. Okay, maybe it was a little bit funny, especially because he wouldn't drag Liam in. "And the train ride is pretty long too, he would probably kill me, but I'll send you a video if I do it."

"Thanks, I... I'm not so sure if I wanna see that though." Harry and Niall lived further away from London than Liam would have liked, so of course their train ride was gonna be a bit longer, but the thought of the blonde boy talking about going home actually made Liam feel more than just sad. Sure, he wasn't on tour anymore now, but... who knew if Niall would still wanna hang out, Liam still had things to do and interviews and things like that, but he was really hoping that maybe Niall would wanna come to his place or something, since he would soon be on break and all, maybe after Christmas. And of course... provided Liam would be brave enough to ask, he still sometimes wondered how he had even grown the guts to ask Niall to come out to LA.

"Trust me, you'll want to, my pranks are hilarious, especially with Harry because he isn't creative enough to pay me back. Only thing he'll do is pout for an hour and then maybe switch my drink with some of his disgusting carrot juice, like honeslty, it's like drinking vomit or something." The blonde pulled a face at that and Liam couldn't help but laugh, he really liked whenever Niall was just rambling like this, he always did it on the phone as well and it never failed to lift the older's mood. Niall's life was so simple and yet it seemed so interesting and maybe Liam was a tiny bit jealous sometimes, even if he knew that of course the blonde boy had problems as well, like money wise for example, or regarding his family, so Liam would never openly admit that, it'd seem pretty ungrateful as well. 

"You're lucky, Louis would pay me back twice as bad, he once almost tweeted out a picture of me on the toilet just because I put a picture of him sleeping on my Instagram, and it wasn't even meant to make him mad either." Honestly, having a best friend like Louis was always a bit of a danger, not that he'd completely ruin Liam's reputation or whatever, the fans loved their banter, but since Liam always got embarrassed very quickly, he still had to be careful.

"Imagine if Harry posted a picture of Louis sleeping, I bet all he'd get would be some spanking or something." Snorting, Niall put a very unpleasant picture into Liam's head that he quickly tried to get rid of, even if, yeah, the blonde was probably right.

"If he ever did that then me and you could as well post a selfie right now, like... you know if they'd ever... start something and wouldn't hide it then all hell would break lose and everyone would know who you two are within a day or less." Something that had already worried Liam during the last few days, he kinda regretted sharing his thoughts with Niall, but then again, he had a right to know of course.

Also, it wasn't like Niall took this only half as serious as Liam anyways. "Well, then at least we wouldn't have to be careful anymore either and we could just blame them. I mean... I can't imagine it'd be so bad, if people knew that we are friends, like... If anyone ever asked me I'd just say nothing at all. I mean... no one knows we're hooking up, right?"

"No, they don't, just... I'm a bit worried sometimes." Liam admitted, since he didn't want to lie, and also, it was kinda nice to be comforted by Niall, simply because it seemed like nothing could have ever scared him away.

"Don't. It'll be fine, there's just a blurry picture of me and we're not fucking in public or something and I can keep a secret. Also, I'd beat Harry's ass if he ever said too much about any of this, so don't worry, okay? We're fine." Hopefully they would be, because Liam wasn't a hundred percent convinced yet, only felt a tiny bit better to know that no matter what happened, at least Niall wouldn't run away or stop talking to him because of any of this. Maybe that was all Liam could really count on.

The flight was still hours long, Liam made sure to get Niall something to eat and to drink, really glad that neither of them slept for thr most part because they didn't really have a lot of time left together. When the blonde boy did pass out, leaving Liam as the only one awake in the private jet, he did so with his head on the older's shoulder, which he had put there on full purpose, right after kissing Liam's cheek. But only to say thank you for the food, obviously.

Needless to say, Liam didn't get even a second of sleep on that plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anything is off with this chapter (formatting wise) then please let me know, my laptop is broken and i wrote it entirely on my ipad and phone. (Of which im really proud bc it took like 60 times longer lmao)
> 
> Also clearly, i have no idea what a private jet looks like from the inside lmao.
> 
> Let me know if you guys enjoyed the chapter :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (don’t read this chapter if you don’t wanna read mentions of physical violence, just as a warning)

"It's not too late to still back out, you know." Just to make sure Harry knew, even though the look he threw at Niall followed by the eye rolling was a very clear message towards the blonde. Fine, maybe it WAS too late.

"We're gonna be off the train in like... 5 minutes, Nialler." Unfortunately, that was very true, Niall had had hours to back out and yet he hadn't done it, even though he had been thinking quite a lot about it to be fair. Just... as much as he might have hated it, going home for Christmas was probably something he was never really going to be able to escape. 

It had been two full weeks ever since they had gotten back from New York, but honestly, it seemed a lot longer to Niall and he didn't even know why. He had been dreading having to say goodbye to Liam the whole flight back, something he wouldn't have expected to ever happen to be honest and yet... and yet they had hugged a bit or way too long once they had gotten off the private jet. Which luckily went by unnoticed by Harry and Louis because whatever was going on or had happened between them, they surely took ages to say goodbye to each other as well.

Sure, Liam and Niall knew each other since about 3 months now, which actually was a quite remarkably long time, but even longer considering the fact that they had been doing more intimate things together than Niall had probably ever done with just one single person, and that really said something. Plus, of course, they had been talking on the phone and texting almost every single day during the last two weeks, Liam had practically sent Niall a text message 5 minutes after he had been out of sight.

So yeah, maybe it made sense that Niall had quite a strange feeling of missing Liam sometimes, which he would have really liked to blame on the sex only, but that simply would have been a big fat lie. He missed Liam as a friend as well and that was a lot harder to admit to himself than Niall would have ever thought. But it was alright though, wasn't it? It was alright to miss a friend, Harry was missing Louis as well probably, even though he never talked about him anymore, which was a bit strange considering how often he had bugged Niall about Liam and Louis before this, but it's not like the blonde was going to complain. Not like he would have EVER admitted any of these thoughts to his best friend anyways, he could live with not knowing what was going on between the other two if that meant he didn't have to answer any questions either.

It's just... sometimes Niall would find himself wondering when he was going to see the brunette man again, and for how long, he hadn't ever thought that going to New York would leave him like this, almost worrying whether they'd ever even see each other again in real life. Maybe it made sense that he had simply blurted out with it on the plane, very much enjoying the pink tainting Liam's cheeks after he had told him about how he was going to miss him. It was true after all.

"Why did you bring so much, do you plan on abandoning me at college and moving back home?" Harry almost killed both of them as he helped Niall getting his bag off of the tray, barely able to hold onto it since it was quite heavy, causing the blonde to huff. 

"You know I have like... no clothes or anything at home, I brought all my stuff to my dorm. For good reason." Very good, because Niall's dad sometimes was a bit... out of his mind whenever he drank too much or... would randomly get mad at Niall even though he wasn't here. Then it was nice to know that all of his important stuff was out of reach. "Besides, I'm gonna need them when I come over to sleep at your house from tomorrow on."

"Who said you're gonna sleep at my house?" Of course it was a joke, Niall had seen his best friend's face falling as soon as he had explained, maybe a bit more seriously than needed, but he wasn't really in the mood to talk, they were already lining up to get outside the train, seconds from getting into Harry's mum's car and minutes before they're drop Niall off at the hell hole he was forced to call his home. "Just kidding, mate, mum already put the old mattress out for you again I think. If it was her choice, you'd celebrate at our house anyways."

"I know... but dad would murder me. Or worse, he'd stop sending me money." Which actually... would practically be Niall's end, since he STILL hadn't found a new Saturday job and also hadn't really been looking, which might or might have not been related to other things happening in his life right now. 

"Then you could just ask Liam and he'd probably buy you a house on campus or something." The mentioning of the older man's name caused Niall's stomach to drop a little bit, but he managed to keep a straight face, simply bumping his elbow into a grinning Harry's ribs. Definitely not the right time to start a fight over this.

"Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Hazza, how about I ask him to buy you and Louis a dream mansion for you and all of your childr-"

"Look, I think my mum's already there." This was basically how all of their conversations about either Louis or Liam were going lately, they would tease each other a little bit, but never really go any deeper and Niall didn't have to guess about why that was. Harry had always been the driving force, the one who had been pushing Niall to tell him things, but obviously, he was suddenly getting scared that the blonde might find out a thing or two as well. If only he would have known that basically nothing he and Louis could have done would ever measure up to Niall blowing Liam after his concert, or on his private jet or Liam blowing Niall right after they had arrived or him fucking Niall twice within one hour or... anyways.

They had quite some trouble getting all their stuff outside of the train, Harry almost fell out face forward had Niall not grabbed a hold of his jacket from behind in order to save him, trying not be mean and laugh at his best friend, he could have seriously gotten hurt after all, right in front of his mother, who looked like she might be about to squeeze both of their cheeks bleeding in a second as soon as she spotted them.

"My boys!" It was so nice, to be treated like this by someone even though it wasn’t even Niall’s real family, but he definitely didn’t mind Harry’s mum hugging him and kissing his cheek and telling him that he should have worn something warmer. In fact, it made him smile maybe a bit too brightly and caused his stomach to go warmer than appropriate, trying to hide it just a little bit because Harry next to him didn't seem as happy about his mum babying him like this. "Come on now, let's get you in the car before you both freeze to death... Harry, I told you to wear your beanie, where is it?"

"Um... probably in my bag. Mum, I'm fine, we were in the train for hours, we-"

"Well, don't come to me if you get your ear infection again. And on Christmas as well, I swear to god, you two always dress like it's mid summer." Though she was shaking her head and probably trying to sound like she was scolding them, Niall couldn't help but grin when she kissed Harry's cheek yet again, her face clearly anything besides angry or as if she really meant any of this. Secretly, Niall was pretty sure that she had missed having to scold her son once a while. "So how was the train ride? Did you already get your grades for your finals?"

"No, not yet, I think we'll only get them after the break. But I think, I... I think I did okay." There had been a ton of people on that train so it took them a while walking back to the car, not that Niall minded, he really was glad for any second he could get in order to prepare himself for what was about to happen. 

"What about you, Niall? Did it go well?" That question could have been seen many ways, especially from Niall's point of view because for him it already was a success to not fail the second time as well, especially now that... he had gotten to know Liam. But frankly, Harry's mum had no idea about Niall and her son having been on a whole other continent just two weeks ago.

"Hmm... well, this time I only had to guess a little bit more than half of the answers." Which would probably equal in a fail anyways, Niall actually wasn't half as worried about having to redo his finals than he was about having to tell Liam the result. Somehow, and the blonde really didn't know why, but Liam always tried to motivate him to do his homework and to study and try to help even though he was even more clueless than Niall himself. 

At this, Harry's mum simply laughed before ruffling Niall's hair a bit while Harry complained loudly about how he would have gotten yelled at had he given the same answer. Which was probably true, but Niall just chuckled at his complaints, for a moment completely able to forget about how he was gonna have to face his dad in a bit.

The drive wasn't very long, once they had finally gotten to the car and somehow managed to stuff their bags into the trunk, Niall found himself in the backseat while Harry took the passenger side next to this mum, neither of them allowed to complain about the Christmas music playing on the radio. Somehow it was nice to hear anyways, because it was probably the closest to holiday feelings Niall was ever going to get here, even if it was only for a little while.

"Oh, Harry, as soon as we get home you have to get changed, Gemma already arrived yesterday and my parents will be here in a few hours and I'm going to need your help setting up the table and the food and… " Hearing all of this somehow made Niall just slightly sad, it went on like this the whole ten minutes or something, he really tried his best to keep up that smile on his face and try not to think too much about how much he had dreaded coming here, but whenever the time was there, it somehow hit harder than expected. Thinking about this for the last few weeks had definitely not prepared the blonde for how sick he felt to his stomach as soon as he got out of the car.

Niall’s dad lived in the same house Niall had spent all his life in after they had moved here from Ireland, where all of the things had happened that had somehow shaped him into the person he was today, but sadly, returning to a place he should have called home wasn’t even close to making him feel welcome or comfortable. Actually, just seeing that building close up made him wanna grab his bag and walk all the way back to that train station.

"Bye, Ni… see you tomorrow then?" Harry helped the blonde to get his stuff out of the car, as it was quite a lot, and Niall was pretty sure he was able to keep a pretty straight face, managing something like a smile when his best friend pulled him into a quick hug. Hopefully he didn’t know how jealous Niall actually was of him, at least if it came to family related things, but they were adults now and even though Niall had often told Harry he wished they could have been real brothers when they had been children, he couldn’t really do it again now. Even if nothing had changed.

"Sure, if he doesn’t cut my head off or locks me into the basement." Though it was a clear joke, Niall had to actually swallow a little bit before managing to let out a short laugh that matched Harry’s, waving a bit before his best friend climbed back into the car and Niall himself readjusted the bag over his shoulder as he walked up to the driver’s side where Harry’s mum had let down the window. "Thanks for driving me, Anne."

"No problem, dear. Make sure you come over soon, I can’t forever hide the food leftovers from Harry." There was a very annoyed sounding "HEY" coming from the inside of the car that made both Niall and Harry’s mother laugh, not enough though as to where the blonde would have actually felt amused. To be quite honest, he was pretty close to throwing up. “Alright, then… Merry Christmas, Niall, tell your dad I said hi, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, I… Merry Christmas." Everybody knew that Niall’s dad was a bit difficult at times, so the look on Anne’s face was probably more than appropriate and Niall really tried his hardest to not let the slight fear bubbling up inside of him show, but he wasn’t quite sure whether he really succeeded at that as soon as the car had driven off, leaving him all to himself in an empty street, in front of a house he wouldn’t have wanted to enter if his life had depended on it.

That’s why it took Niall ages to just walk up to the front door that he knew way too well, searching way longer for his keys than necessary before he remembered that his dad had probably heard the car anyways. Provided he was at home of course, and also provided he wasn’t drunk and passed out somewhere, because it wouldn’t have been the first time anyways. Literally anything that could have gone wrong within a family had gone wrong in Niall’s and at this point, he wouldn’t have even been surprised to see his brother’s girlfriend dating his father and celebrating Christmas with them.

The time the blonde boy took in order to get the keys into the lock was maybe a bit embarrassing long, his stomach was twisting into uncomfortable knots and he almost backed out twice before finally opening up that damn door, only very carefully stepping inside, his eyes immediately scanning the entrance hall, trying to stay alert. You never knew after all, not here.

"I… I’m here. Hello?" Niall tried to call out carefully, quickly checking the shoes lying around as well, his heart making an extra uncomfortable jump as soon as he saw his brother’s jacket. Great, he could have really needed a few more hours to prepare himself for… _this_ , but at least NONE of them got along, so it’s not like his dad and Greg were going to partner up against Niall, it was literally everybody against everybody in this house.

There were a few moments of silence, a few seconds where Niall thought his heart was just going to stop and cause him to choke or his stomach would rebel and force everything he had eaten today right there on the floor. Surprisingly though, none of these things happened and the blonde was still standing there, with his bag dropped next to him now, when his dad walked around the corner of the living room, more decent looking than Niall could have hoped for. "Well, hello… didn’t expect you so early."

No need to mention it was actually afternoon already, but Niall was just glad to not having been yelled at just now, because it definitely wouldn’t have been a very unlikely thing to happen. "Yeah, I… it was the only, um… train we could have taken, so… "

"… Right, well, Greg’s in the living room as well, there’s some… leftover food in the fridge." And that was all, basically, Niall just nodded, not very used to being this taken aback and unsure when talking to people and the fact that this was his own dad made this whole thing even sadder.

"Okay, I… I’ll just get my stuff, um, upstairs." There was no way Niall could have just locked himself into his room, but he was more than relived when his dad simply walked off again, leaving him to take his shoes and jacket off, closing his eyes for just a moment and trying to quietly take a breath. This was fine, he got this, it was just for a few hours before he could excuse himself to go to bed, not like they’d actually be celebrating anyways.

Walking past the living room, Niall caught his brother’s eyes, who was sitting on the other end of the couch, their father on the opposite one, neither of them really talking to each other, but Greg nodded at Niall before looking down at his phone again, making the younger one dreading the moment he would have to come downstairs again and sit with them. 

The only good thing about coming home was the fact that Niall’s room always stayed the same, the door was always closed and every little thing stayed exactly the way it had been where Niall had left it, meaning his dad wouldn’t have ever found a reason to step inside of his room. Luckily, because what would he have done there anyways, right?

Obviously, Niall couldn’t really take too long, he also didn’t bother unpacking his stuff, not wanting it to feel like he had to stay, so he simply dropped his bag on the floor before flopping belly down onto his still unmade bad, allowing himself to close his eyes for a few seconds before pulling his phone out, more to check the time really and distract himself than to check any messages. Not that he had expected any, it were the holidays after all and almost Christmas Eve, so that’s why the blonde was even more surprised to read the only message that popped up on his screen.

 

_Liam 04:43 pm  
hey, I don’t know if youre busy right now, just wanted to say merry christmas, niall :) hope were gonna see each other soon  & if you got time to talk… maybe i can call you later tonight? my familys always going to bed really early anyways haha_

 

For some reason, reading this caused Niall to smile without even having to make an effort really, maybe it was the fact that he now had something to look forward to, or maybe a little bit because he hadn’t been texting Liam for a whole day now and just seeing his name popping up on his phone somehow already caused the blonde’s stomach to turn a little bit. In a very good way though.

 

\----------

 

It was a dreadful rest of the day from the moment Niall stepped into the living room after having changed into some sweatpants and a hoodie, very glad for the second, and empty, couch they had because he wasn’t quite sure what would have been worse anyways, sitting next to his dad, who would make stupid remarks on how Niall needed to get off his phone and maybe study a bit more, or his brother, who would try to read the blonde’s text messages like a fucking 10 year old even though he was the older one. Really, maybe Niall wasn’t that glad after all that none of them had brought any girlfriends, because then someone would have maybe at least filled the awkward silence between them.

Niall’s dad had put up a Christmas tree, a very small one that was barely decorated, the ornaments were still dusty and in the exact same position as they had been last year. Just like always, and also like always were exactly two envelops lying underneath, one for Niall and one for Greg, both most likely containing a hundred bucks just like every year. Really, that was a lot for the blonde boy, and he was more than just grateful that his dad still sent him money and that 50% of the money he got for Christmas was from his mum, but that still didn’t really make up for everything else.

When Niall had been a child, he had been giving presents to every member of his family, mostly self made of course, but after Greg had thrown them away three times in a row, his dad had thrown them into some drawer and his mother had stopped showing up at all, he had given up on it. Luckily though, there was still Harry’s family and whenever Niall had felt sad about barely being paid attention to, he had gone over to his best friend’s house instead and they had treated him like he belonged there. Sadly though, now that Niall was so much older, he was really starting to realize that this was something that was never going to change about his family, they’d always be like this, broken and unwilling to make compromises to the others’ favor.

"So… anything happening at college? Or at work?" The last question was probably directed at Niall as well, so he just shrugged first of all, waiting for his brother to answer because telling his dad that he had been fired would have probably resulted in… a Christmas murder.

"Yeah, everything’s good. I got promoted actually." Great, now Greg was starting with the lies already, Niall could see it in his face, saw his brother shifting uncomfortably, hoping that their dad wouldn’t notice. Not that he would have cared, as long as neither of them came to him to complain about their problems or ask him for help, he was fine with whatever they were doing. Probably even if they had been homeless or something.

"Well… congratulations, I guess." He didn’t sound very excited at all, or as if he cared, Niall was really glad for the TV being turned on at low volume in the background because otherwise, he would have died of embarrassment over this situation. Which was very unlike him, usually he always knew what to say or how to fill a silence, but… this was very different. "What about… that girl you were seeing?"

"Oh, um, I… I mean… we kinda, well… kinda, uh, decided that… that we would, umm… take a break. For a bit." Alright now, Niall’s answers couldn’t turn out worse than these ones, Greg even blushed under their father’s stare, as if he wasn’t a fucking adult sitting there with his little brother and dad but rather as if he was in court or something. Much like the younger boy felt like as well.

"Ah, I see… " Now would have been the perfect time to ask about HIS girlfriend as well, but Niall bit his tongue, he had learned not to speak up around this house, especially not when it was something that could have potentially ended in a fight. Also, the attention was on him sooner than expected anyways. "And what about you, Niall? Anything… interesting?"

Greg’s obvious breath of relief wasn’t very encouraging to Niall, he took a silent breath, trying to act casual as he looked anywhere but into his dad’s face, already feeling his palms getting sweaty. God, why did they have to do this to themselves? Neither of them wanted to be here and they were probably still having to keep this tradition up until one of them died or something. "Um, I mean… not a lot, just... I… I had my finals and… yeah, that’s about it… "

"And how did it go?" Now Niall’s dad’s voice sounded a lot harder and the blonde silently thanked god that he didn’t have to lie for the next answer, even if his mouth had gone dry already at the thought of his dad finding out that he had probably failed yet again.

"I don’t know yet, we… we’ll only get the results after the break." Not a lie, but certainly not very encouraging either, because maybe Niall was a little bit scared about having to find out, or receiving a call from his dad right after and having to put up a convincing lie.

"Make sure to let me know." Definitely not, it sounded more like a threat than a request, the blonde had to swallow a bit harder as he nodded, trying not to think of the consequences of his dad finding out about him not having done well, maybe he should have studied a bit more after all, just… it was a bit too late now. "And… did anything else happen? Have you finally found someone?"

It was so bloody ironic that his dad would ask this and it’s not like Niall hadn’t already expected it, but he still had to really fight the urge to sigh or roll his eyes, this was so bloody typical and he fucking hated this. Like yeah, none of them seemed particularly made for relationships, but at least Niall didn’t even give them a try, at least he wasn’t beating his girlfriends like his dad or cheating on them like his brother, at least the people he slept with knew what it was all about, and most of all, at least he treated them as human being. "Not really, I… I kinda wanna focus on other things for now."

"Well, it surely isn’t studying." At this, Greg let out a short laugh and Niall sent a quick glare into his direction, having to bite the inside of his cheek pretty hard in order to swallow his words, there was no use in getting upset now, they weren’t worth it anyways. "Anyways, it probably wouldn’t work out anyways."

"Um… what do you mean?" It just slipped out really, but Niall hadn’t been able to help himself, sitting up a bit straighter now, his heart bumping faster as he worried for a second about potentially having angered his dad, but he simply shrugged, emptying the fourth bottle of beer for the night. He had been holding back for now, seeing as it was only half past 6 though, that could soon change.

"I mean, Niall… you’ve never really been in a relationship, have you? You have no experience and you probably think it’s normal to hook up with whoever walks past and does as much as look at you, but… well, maybe you’re just too young for this." There it was, the very point of the conversation that immediately shifted the whole mood from somewhat quiet to tense as fuck, even Niall’s brother had stopped grinning, his eyes shifting between Niall and their dad, as if he was nervous about what was going to happen. For good reason.

First, the blonde took a quiet breath, trying to calm down internally, just take the words like this, pretend he wasn’t here, telling himself over and over again that his dad was just tipsy now, that it didn’t matter what he thought about Niall, that none of this could get him upset. Except, that wasn’t really true and suddenly the blonde felt really dumb for having been so careful with his words before. "Oh, but you do? You know how relationships work, yeah?" 

Shrugging, Niall’s dad didn’t do as much as look at his son, he was looking at the TV now actually, causing Niall’s hands to form into fists as he felt heat rushing into his face, anger boiling in his stomach even though he knew that there was no use. It’s just, he was bad at biting his tongue, it was just so… _ridiculous_ , to hear this out of _his_ mouth. "Certainly, yes. I’ve been married for years, in case you have forgotten, whereas you… you have never even been with anyone for longer than a day, Niall. Not to personally attack you, you can do whatever you want, but… sometimes I am a bit worried about that, you know."

That was it, he had crossed a line right there, and combined with that tone of voice, it was actually a wonder that Niall was still sitting down and hadn’t already jumped at his throat. There was no particular time where he liked talking to his dad, but he definitely preferred having him unsure of what to say or ask his sons rather than emptying a few bottles of beer and thinking he suddenly had a right to tell Niall how to life his fucking life. "Is that why mum left you? Because you were so good at relationships?"

For a second, Niall’s breath hitched as soon as it was out, his and Greg’s eyes met for a moment and though his brother was slightly shaking his head at the blonde, silently telling him to shut his mouth, Niall completely ignored the warning. He wasn’t fucking dumb, he knew what this would lead to but he didn’t care, he wasn’t a damn child and he was sick and tired of being treated like one. "No, not really. The reason she left was because she was obviously tired of having two misbehaving sons and I can’t blame her for it either."

"Ever heard of protection? No one forced you two have children… or did they?" It hadn’t escalated just yet, Niall’s dad still seemed bored rather than angry, but he did throw a warning glance at the blonde boy, causing his cheeks to get hot and yet he didn’t break the stare as he leaned forward, waiting for an answer that he probably didn’t even want to ever hear.

"Niall…" The moment he muted the TV and lowered his voice, Niall knew that he was basically fucked, panic raising inside of him as he struggled to keep a straight face. "If I were you I’d be _very_ careful about my choice of words. If you want to blame your mother for anything then you are free to call her, although I doubt that she would pick up the phone if she saw your number. And trust me, if I had a choice then I wouldn’t either, but sadly, I am the one who got both of you and she got a free pass, so you better be grateful for whatever you have because it only takes the blink of a second for it to be gone. Understood?"

Now it was time for Niall to shut his mouth, clearly, he couldn’t possibly go any further or this would end terribly. Actually, the blonde was seconds from nodding and leaning back, just not saying anything anymore for the rest of the night, because really, it would have been the only smart choice, but for some reason, Niall almost fucking exploded and he knew there was NO way he could have just keep his mouth shut now. No bloody way. "Trust me, if _I_ had a choice then I wouldn’t be here either, but we’re still a family and you can hate me all you want but I’m always gonna be your son. And I don’t fucking care if mum hates me too because I haven’t really talked to her in _years_ and I can’t blame her for not wanting to have any memory of the time with you because last time I checked she left you because the neighbors had to call the police after you beat her up so badly she had to go to hospital and file a fucking charge against you."

There it was, the one thing you weren’t allowed to EVER mention in this house, Niall wasn’t sure why but it just so came out of him, seeing his brother’s face going absolutely white from the corners of his eyes, his own heart beating unsteadily as his father stared at him, surprised at first, shocked more like, before after a second or two, his face turned angrier than Niall had any memory of, his voice sounding ice cold. "What did you just say, Niall?"

"You heard me. I’ll be going to my room, I’d rather not sit around here and pretend that any of us actually enjoys this, since you obviously wish neither of us would have ever been born and since you still try to find excuses for what happened between you and mum. You’re a coward, nothing else and-"

"ENOUGH!" As soon as Niall had gotten out of his seat on the couch, about to leave, he almost yelped in pain as a hand wrapped around his upper arm, so tightly and painfully keeping him from leaving that he almost felt like being stabbed with a knife. The second Niall turned his head to look at his dad’s face, he knew that he was in big trouble, not even having enough time to hate himself for what he had just done, or to even open his mouth or think of something smart to say because his blood froze along with his whole body. Shit. "YOU DON’T SIT THERE AND INSULT ME, NOT IN MY OWN HOUSE, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE BEATEN UP, HUH?! I CAN SHOW YOU THAT!"

"D-Dad, I-"

But it was too late, way too late because Niall would have needed to stop long ago, he had brought this upon himself only, and though he was just as frightened as he had always been as a child whenever he had done something naughty, a part of him had expected this to happen. A part of him had already known that it was gonna escalate like this and he definitely had confirmation for it when a burning pain spread across the whole side of his cheek, the force of his father’s hand in his face causing Niall to feel dizzy, stumbling but being held back by the hand still wrapped around his arm, undoubtedly cutting off his blood circulation.

"N-No, s-stop, I… I’m sorry, I- Dad, I-"

Niall should have known, that no begging or anything he could have said would have made his father stop or even just hesitate, this had been going on for all of the blonde’s life after all, and yet he still wasted his breath trying, made his dad even madder when his tears started spilling over. He never ever cried, but it was hard not to when you were being beaten and kicked, especially not because this was his own dad and he had been hitting Niall and his brother almost all their lives, with no one to ever step in or say anything.

Though the blonde of course tried to defend himself, he still didn’t stand a chance, he also didn’t hit back, just tried to protect his body in whatever way possible, failing terribly as he fell down, hitting his head on the side of some furniture, white stars dancing in front of his eyes as he tried to just curl up into a ball, tried not to wince every single time his father’s hand or foot would come down on him. And then, just as he thought he wouldn’t be able to handle any more, it suddenly stopped, leaving only the blonde’s sobs and his beating heart and hurting body. 

"You’re still crying like a little girl." That was all he said, Niall wasn’t even sure whether he had even really just heard that or whether it had simply been hallucinations, his ears were ringing and he struggled to fill his lunges with air as he pressed his face into his arms that were wrapped tightly around his knees as he was still on the floor, every inch of his body feeling like he had just been hit by a bus or something. He surely wouldn’t have thought that _this_ was how the night would end.

Maybe Greg or his dad said something else, or maybe they simply went back to watching TV and not speaking to each other, Niall honestly didn’t care or spend a thought on any of them, he just remained on the ground for what seemed like ages before he finally found the strength to push himself up, head spinning like crazy and his sight still blurry from all the tears. There was no way he was gonna go back to sitting there with this psycho, no fucking way.

So even though the blonde knew that he was gonna get into even more trouble, he stumbled out of the room and towards the stairs without looking back, something warm slowly trickling down the side of his face that was most likely blood. But honestly, no physical wounds could have ever been as bad as the fact that this had happened at all, after all this time, and that it still made Niall feel all the same, helpless, with no way to ever make it stop, to ever make the situation at home any better.

Of course Harry knew about a lot of the things Niall’s dad had done to the blonde, that he had hit him before, but he had never quite gotten to know how bad it actually was, mostly because he would have immediately told his mother, even despite the promise he had given Niall when they had been younger and for the first time found out that the blue eye the blonde had spotted hadn’t actually come from falling off of his bike. 

So even though this hadn’t happened in a while and even though Harry would have probably reacted completely differently now, Niall never even thought of calling him. All he did was making sure to lock his room and purposely avoiding the mirror before finding a tissue to press against the side of his head, hating himself for not being able to stop these stupid tears, or the winces escaping him as he somehow managed to get his bruised body into bed, eyes pressed shut.

Of course Niall could have waited and then just gone over to Harry’s house, make up some lie about what had happened, they wouldn’t have even thought twice before asking him to celebrate with them, but this was supposed to be a family day and adding up to that, Niall was fucking embarrassed and ashamed. It had been his own fault after all, he could have just shut his mouth and not said a word, but he had crossed the line more than once and now he had to pay the price for it, just like so many times before.

Maybe it didn’t make any sense as Niall blindly searched for the phone in his pockets, not even thinking as he tried to blink one eye open, just enough to be able to see the screen, his thumb leaving a bit of blood behind as he tried to find the one name in his contact list that he could call, the one person besides Harry that actually genuinely cared about what happened to Niall. 

Obviously, it was still Christmas and from what Liam had told him, his family always celebrated it really big time, especially because he had been on tour for so long, but the blonde felt too terrible as to really consider that, he had no idea actually whether he was thinking about anything at all, or why his mind would immediately jump to Liam after an incident like this, when he was lying in bed crying. 

But for some reason it did, and just the thought of the brunette man not picking up his phone caused even more tears to spill over, mixing with the blood that the tissue couldn’t hold before dripping down the side of Niall’s face as he had no energy left to wipe them away, his hand shaking as he pressed the phone to his ear, way harder than necessary.

For a few seconds, Niall actually thought Liam wouldn’t pick up, which wouldn’t have been so unlikely to be honest, but for some reason it caused his heart to bump even faster and the tears to double in number, having as a consequence that he almost choked on a sob right as the brunette answered the phone. Oh, thank god. "Niall?"

"Y-Yeah… hi." The breath of relief the blonde let out was more than embarrassing, but he just couldn’t help himself, hearing Liam’s voice, and though it was confused and there was lots of background noise, already caused Niall’s chest to loosen just a tiny little bit, even if this was pathetic as hell and even if he had lost his mind doing that, he couldn’t help but feel better, attempting his hardest to force his voice to sound normal. "I, um… are you busy?"

"I mean… kinda, but… " Of course he was busy, everyone was on a day like this and Niall didn’t even know why this hit him so hard, it’s not like Liam had simply hung up on him or anything, but his hesitation was still enough for a tiny sob to accidentally escape the blonde’s mouth. Great. "Niall? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, sure, just… " He couldn’t have just told him, could he? Niall found himself randomly breaking off, suddenly too embarrassed and nervous as to carry on, his voice probably sounding very much like he had been bawling his eyes out, it was no wonder that Liam had immediately gotten suspicious. Also, who called someone at 7 pm on Christmas Eve? 

"Just what?" Liam’s voice had gone softer now, as if he had already figured it out or something and suddenly Niall wanted to tell him so badly that his heart was aching, suddenly he just wanted to blurt out with all of it and not be cool and tough, just this one time. But he couldn’t. "You… you’re not crying, are you?"

"I-I… no, I was… I was just, um… I wondered if… if we could talk, but… but I know you’re busy and it’s Christmas and your family, I just… I’ll just call you again later, okay, I-"

"No, that’s okay, one second, okay?" Actually, it was quite funny, how now Liam was the one who was all calm and Niall the one who was on the edge of freaking out, but it only showed him that he could really count on the older man, even if it was embarrassing as hell and if he probably wouldn’t be able to tell him the real reason for his call.

"Okay… " Right after it was out, he heard Liam covering the phone a bit. using the chance to take a shaky breath as he heard the older man talking to someone without actually hearing what was going on, but he did start to feel guilty now thinking about how he might have just told his mother that he would leave the room for a while, even though she had probably been missing him like crazy. Niall was fucking selfish.

"Alright, now we can talk, sorry, there’s a ton of people at my parents’ house." Who probably were all happy to finally see Liam again, that didn’t really make things any better, but the blonde couldn’t help but be relieved that Liam seemed free to talk now, the noises in the background having stopped, his voice still soft and calming. "So… are you okay, Ni? Did anything… I don’t know… happen?"

The use of his nickname almost caused Niall to smile but not really, he was still having an internal fight with himself, about whether he should tell Liam or not, trying to quickly consider the consequences as well. Maybe… maybe he could just… just not make it seem so bad. "I, um… kinda, well… got into a fight with my, uh, dad and… it kinda escalated a bit and… now I’m in my room and I… look, I really don’t wanna be the reason for you missing out on time with your family, I can-"

"What do you mean… _escalated_?" This was actually such a Liam like thing to ask, simply ignoring whatever else the blonde had been trying to suggest and going right to the one thing he had been trying to hide. Liam might have been very easy to read whenever his ears and cheeks turned red, but obviously, he wasn’t bad at this game either. 

"Well, he… he kinda, um… " Hit and kicked him, but for some reason the words got stuck in Niall’s tight throat, pressing his eyes shut tightly once more, trying to force these stupid tears back into his body, even if he desperately wanted to just blurt out with it all, just start bawling again and spill everything to Liam, have him comfort him and try to calm him down. 

But seemed like there was no need to anymore. "Did he… hurt you?"

Right after it was out, Liam’s voice having gone slightly breathless, Niall simply couldn’t hold back anymore, he knew he had already given himself away anyways, knew that Liam’s shocked question was proof enough that he already had a pretty good idea about what had happened. Surely, the embarrassing loud sob he let out couldn’t have made things any worse now. "Y-Yes… "

There it was, the truth, immediately causing Liam to stay quiet for a moment while Niall tried to get himself together, wanting to take his answer back the second it was out, his free hand pressing even tighter onto the bloody tissue, pillow already wet from all the tears. This was literally the most pathetic thing Niall had done, probably EVER, he should have just dealt with it himself, it was bad enough that his brother and father had seen him crying, but now Liam was on the phone having to hear it, being forced to talk to Niall about this, as if it was his job or something. "Did he… did he hit you, Niall? Are you okay? How bad is it, do you need me to… to do anything? God, I’m so sorry, I… what happened? You… you don’t have to tell me, I just… I wanna help you, Niall, please talk to me."

Clearly, the brunette man was completely clueless, not at all knowing how to handle the situation and Niall couldn’t blame him, he felt guilty for having pulled Liam into this, even if the panic and genuine worries in the older’s voice somehow calmed him, as sick as that sounded. It was just nice, knowing that somebody cared. "I-I… I don’t know, he j-just… when he gets angry h-he… i-it’s not s-so bad, I’m just… it j-just hurts… a bit… "

"Okay, I… shit." The last word only came out under Liam’s breath, probably not meant for Niall’s ears but the blonde heard him anyways, his stomach already twisting into knots as he thought about the older one hanging up the phone. But he’d never do that, would he? Liam was too nice, too caring, he wouldn’t just leave Niall like this. "Are you in your room? Is the door locked?"

"Yeah… but, he… he already c-calmed down, I… it’s fine." It was anything but that and they both knew it, but still, Niall couldn’t help but try to make it appear less serious than it was, because after all, this wasn’t the first time it had happened and if he hadn’t been so bloody emotional and stupid, he could have once more dealt with it by himself. "I’m sorry for… for calling you, I-I… I shouldn’t have, not today, I… I know your family’s been… wanting to see y-you for a while a-and-"

"No, don’t be sorry, it’s alright, don’t worry, Niall, okay? My family’s been seeing me for days now anyways and everyone’s already getting drunk and… anyways, it’s fine, trust me and you don’t have to feel bad for calling me, I… I’m glad you did." Knowing that Liam was probably blushed now wasn’t very hard to guess, especially because his voice had changed a bit at the last part, a bit of hesitation as well, and Niall would have smiled about that, had he not had 100 reasons to blush himself right now. 

"I’m glad too..." Honestly, Niall didn’t want to elaborate this, didn’t even want to think about why he had called Liam before his best friend, why he had been the first person he had thought about or why he would randomly tell him what had happened. So he simply blamed it on what had happened, that he wasn’t able to think clearly because he still hadn’t completely calmed down, his body now shaking, causing his bruises to hurt even more. 

“I, um…. are you sure you’re… alright? I mean, I could… buy you a train ticket and you come here or… whatever you want, just… just tell me, please." The thing was, Liam would have done anything Niall asked him for and the blonde knew it, knew that Liam wouldn’t have even hesitated before going along with it and he wasn’t quite sure whether that was just his personality or whether this was a special treatment Niall was getting. Either way, it gave him enough strength to at least somewhat stop crying, turning onto his back now and suppressing a whine when his bruised hip got moved a little bit too much. 

"No, I… I’m fine, Liam, but… thank you so much, really. I mean… I don’t know, it’s not like… like I’m scared, or as if… as if it never happened before, but I… didn’t expect it to happen anymore now that I’m… pretty much an adult and… and on Christmas… " Not that that changed anything, Niall was aware that he sounded pretty dumb rambling on about this, he just felt the need to tell _someone_ , even if he knew that it was more than just wrong. "I… I would’ve called Harry, but I didn’t, because… I don’t know, I just… and I didn’t know who else to call and… I just wanted to… talk... "

"It’s okay, Niall, really, you don’t need to explain anything to me, I… we can talk, for as long as you want to, okay? I… I’m here." Niall had no idea where Liam had gone to, but there literally was no noise coming anymore from anywhere around him, just silence between them whenever one of them had to fight for words and though the blonde felt really bad for accepting this offer, he couldn’t help it, he wouldn’t have been able to stand being here by himself now.

"Thank you… really." Liam didn’t have to do any of this, like yeah, they were friends with benefits or something like that and they had gotten to know each other pretty well by now, but Niall was still somehow overwhelmed by the fact that any of his friends besides Harry were actually open to have a serious conversation with, to listen when he had a problem he needed to talk about. That certainly wasn’t something Niall had experienced very often in his life, which had also been the reason for him to offer Liam that they could somehow be friends in the first place, but who would have thought that this was actually what he had needed as well?

"No problem, Niall, I told you… I… I’ll always listen if you need to talk to somebody, okay? You don’t have to thank me." See, this why Niall had so much trouble believing Liam, because he was just so sweet and nice and genuine, and it seemed unreal that anyone would ever do this for Niall. Then again though, he knew he would have done the same for Liam as well, without ever hesitating, he didn’t know what it was but if it was anything for the brunette man as it was like for Niall, then he probably didn’t understand any of this either.

"I want to though… " Niall mumbled, readjusting the tissue against his forehead, hoping that Liam knew that all of this worked the other way around as well, that he’d also be there if Liam ever wanted somebody to talk. Even on a day when he didn’t have any time at all, just like the brunette man right now, still managing to sound like they had all the time in the world though. "Can we just… talk about something else? … please, I… I don’t wanna… think about… it."

"Of course we can, Ni, I… I have a pretty funny story about my sister’s dog if you wanna hear it." Maybe Niall agreed a bit too eagerly to this, desperate to get some distraction, bringing himself to a little smile when he heard Liam laughing, even though he was pretty far from feeling alright, at least he wasn’t crying anymore.

They didn’t talk too extremely long, Niall really tried to keep an eye on the time because he didn’t want to keep Liam from going back to his family, but it was just so nice to talk to him, listen to the dog story and then a second one and then about something completely different, like some pictures the fans had taken of Niall once again when he had been in New York, again blurry ones. Liam really was trying his hardest here and it got Niall feeling a whole lot warmer knowing that, since usually he himself was the one talking nonstop and now Liam was doing the same for him and he didn’t even feel too bad whenever his whole body started hurting again whenever he had to laugh.

After like half an hour, Niall noticed that the tissue he had been using for his head was literally leaking through, his head spinning a bit as he sat up, not really having his hands free to support himself, feeling slightly bad for having to interrupt another one of Liam’s stories. "I… Liam, can you… hold on for one second, I just… I gotta get a tissue."

"Oh, yeah, sure… do you have a cold?" It took Niall a second or two to understand what Liam had meant, needing a bit too long to get out of bed, disposing the bloody tissue before trying to find a new one somewhere in his room with just one free hand, which turned out a little harder than expected.

"No, I… " Niall didn’t want to lie, really, but he also didn’t want to tell Liam the truth and cause him to worry again, like… it hadn’t really been his dad though who had done it, Niall had just fallen a bit stupidly and… if they ever skyped again soon then… the brunette man was going to see it anyways because looking into the mirror now, Niall almost wanted to throw up at seeing his own face. Surely the wound wasn’t that big, but the whole side of his face was bloody and the other half was red and bruised looking, which hopefully would be better tomorrow or… or Niall would have to find an excuse for why he couldn’t go over to Harry’s house. "I… before when, you know, I… I fell and… and my head hit the, um, table and… it’s bleeding a bit, so… "

"You’re _bleeding_?!" Okay, that had been a terrible idea, Liam actually sounded so shocked that Niall’s eyes went wide, quickly making sure to step in while attempting to clean his face in front of the mirror, shuddering every few seconds whenever he applied too much pressure.

"Yeah, but… but not that much and… it wasn’t my dad’s fault, I just… fell a bit weird. I… it’s fine, I promise. Really." It was the truth anyways, but the blonde was painfully aware that he had just managed to make all of this sound even worse than it had actually been, he had been through worse, especially when he had been younger. "I… it was my fault, I… I was kinda asking for it, he… he gets angry really easily and I’ve always known that, but I… I just kept talking and… yeah."

"Niall, this… this could never be your own fault, you know that right? No matter what you say to him, he doesn’t have the right to hurt you like that, I… you don’t have to answer but… for how long has he been doing this?" Of course the questions were going to come now, somehow Niall didn’t feel too nervous talking about it either, maybe he felt a bit relieved even, that Liam had asked, that he still sounded worried.

"Um… pretty much ever since… I can remember. Not so much anymore when… when me and my brother got older, but… every once in a while, I… I’m used to it though, I-"

"You shouldn’t be though. No one should have to get used to this, that’s terrible, Niall." When the brunette man interrupted, he actually sounded so sad and beaten down that the blonde felt guilty yet again, for putting this weight on Liam’s shoulder, for letting him in on these things, but then again… he had asked. "Did you… ever tell anyone? And I know your parents aren’t together anymore, but your mum… did she… ? "

"I told Harry, but… never all of it, I didn’t want him to tell his mother, because… dad would have just gotten angrier. And no, my mum never hit me, but… dad hit her as well. That’s why she left, you know and… now it’s like this and… me and my brother just come home whenever we have to, I… I don’t want to but… but it’s still my family." Maybe it sounded dumb, considering everything that had happened, but… sometimes Niall still thought maybe things would change, maybe his mum would start talking to him again or something, magically out of nowhere, even if he knew that it was way too late for any of this. The biggest reasons why he still came home though were one, because he didn’t want to stay alone on campus, two, because he couldn’t accept Harry’s offer of staying at his house and three… he was somehow still dependent on his dad, like, money wise but also… he felt like this was the norm, like he needed to be home during holidays and stuff, because that’s what everyone else was doing as well, right? And god knows, his dad would have gotten even madder if Niall would have completely cut them all out of his life and then he didn’t even want to know what would possibly happen as a consequence.

"I know, Niall, I just… I’m worried. " Liam admitting that was a bit of a surprise, Niall actually stopped wiping around his face just to let this sink in, 100% certain that the older man was blushed as hell right now, but it actually caused Niall to feel a bit hotter as well. Why was he so bloody nice? 

"It’s fine though, I… nothing will happen anymore, I’ll keep my mouth shut for the rest of the break and… and I’ll go over to Harry’s house tomorrow and then… I won’t spend too much time with my dad anyways, just… just the necessary, really. I’ll be fine." Hopefully, but Niall knew that if he just swallowed everything and didn’t speak up, nothing was gonna happen, at least nothing physical, and he sure as hell wouldn’t dare to say anything again now.

"How long… is your break? Like, when will you go back to college?" If it had gone after Niall, he would have already left again, or never even come at all, but as he was kinda forced to and wanted to go back with Harry, he would have to be here for the whole damn break. 

"Umm… well, I’ll go back with Harry, and he’s gonna go on the last day of the break so… at the beginning of January, I think, I don’t know the exact date." But still too long, like, celebrating Christmas with his family seemed like something everyone was doing and all, but after about three days of being here, that was quickly going to pass and being alone on campus would probably appear to have a whole lot more positive sides.

"Okay, then... " There was a bit of hesitation and Niall almost wanted to ask what was wrong or why Liam had wanted to know, but then as the brunette man continued, Niall was more than just positively surprised to say the least. "I mean… if you want to then… there’s this New Year’s party, in London and… I mean, I can bring whoever I want, and Louis will be there too and I could get you some train tickets, and Harry as well and then… you could like, stay with me for a few days? Or I’ll get you a hotel, whatever you want, you know… "

"I… really? But… you don’t have to, I’ll be fine at home, I-"

"No, I… I would have asked you anyways, I kinda… I mean… we haven’t seen each other in a while and I…" Liam never finished that sentence, he seemed so nervous now but Niall suddenly felt so happy that a grin had formed on his face without him even noticing, the bloody wound and the bruises suddenly completely forgotten for now, he REALLY wanted to see Liam again, and stay with him, and go with him to whatever party he suggested. Obviously, Niall had gone insane, but he couldn’t fucking wait now, he hadn’t even noticed that he had been missing Liam this much.

Maybe that explained why he said what he did without even thinking, kinda having guessed what it was that Liam hadn’t been able to say. "I miss you too and… of course I’ll come, I… I’d really love to, I’m gonna ask Harry later, okay? But I’m sure he’ll be excited too, I… thanks, Li, that’s like… the only thing I’m looking forward to now, I’m sure it’ll be ace. And I don’t need a hotel at all, actually, I’d love to see your place."

"You… sound really excited." It almost seemed like Liam was relieved, he let out a short laugh while the blonde still hadn’t managed to stop smiling, his cheeks already hurting a little bit as he thought about this, about getting to see Liam’s place and all of that, it’s like… he was so bloody happy all of a sudden, it almost seemed unnatural considering what had happened today and Niall really did not want to even spend a second thinking about why something like this could lift his mood to this extend. 

"Of course I am, that’ll be great! And we really haven’t seen each other in a while and… I can imagine the parties _you_ are going to are a hundred times more interesting than mine." More like, a billion, the words were just falling out of Niall’s mouth now, he had already forgotten again about having confessed to Liam that he missed him, while assuming that the older man was missing him as well, but he hadn’t complained after all, had he?

"Well, usually I don’t really go, but… I thought you’d enjoy it and there’ll be a few celebrities as well, so Harry can… fully live out his inner fangirl." The fact that Niall could tell whether Liam was smiling or not was maybe really worrying, but he could hear it in the older’s voice, that he was excited about Niall having agreed as well, making all of this even better than it had already been to begin with. Shit, Niall didn’t know how he would be able to survive the days until New Year’s Eve now.

"Any important ones or… or just like you?" Niall teased, laughing loudly when Liam started to complain in the background, still feeling a tiny bit bad though as he rushed to correct himself, he just felt a bit high right now. "Just kidding, sorry, Payno, I… I’m just really excited now, you know. Thank you so much, really, you just actually made my Christmas really good."

"I’m glad if I did, Niall… and I’m excited too, I wasn’t sure if… you already had any plans or so… " So he had been a bit too shy to ask, that actually really fit Liam and caused Niall to smile fondly at the mirror before quickly turning away as he noticed, walking back to his bed now, with a somewhat clean face and a new tissue pressed against his head.

"I would have cancelled them anyways for this, don’t worry." Which wasn’t a joke in any way because honestly… Niall hadn’t even really felt the need to go out during the past two weeks anyways, but the thought of going to a party with Liam had him on the edge of freaking out. "I think you… should probably go back to your family now though, I mean… I’m sure they’re already missing you."

"It’s fine though, we can talk if you-"

"No, no, really, you have no idea how immensely you just lifted my mood and… thank you. Also for listening and for distracting me and… I really appreciate it, Liam. Honestly." Trying to sound as genuine as possible was hard when Niall wanted to be happy and excited, but it really did come from heart and he almost thought he could actually SEE Liam blushing over the phone.

"You’re welcome, Niall… like I said before, no need to thank me, we… we’re friends after all, aren’t we? And I, um… I care about you, so… if there’s ever anything wrong then… I’m here." Again those words, now also causing the blonde to blush just a little bit, partly also because of how soft Liam’s voice had sounded, almost causing his throat to get tight. God, was Liam even real, like honestly?! "I… I’ll call you again later, if that’s alright? Won’t be too long anyways."

"Yeah, sure, I… just call whenever, yeah?" Not like Niall had anything to do, but at least now he wouldn’t be crying up here by himself, no, he would be silently counting the days until he would get to see Liam again.

"Okay, I… I’ll go and make sure my mum isn’t sharing any embarrassing stories… talk to you in a bit?" It almost sounded like Liam was dreading hanging up as much as the blonde boy, but maybe that was just Niall’s imagination or something. 

"Yeah, I… have fun. Yeah?" Actually, Niall thought the brunette man would immediately hang up or something, but he didn’t, so the blonde didn’t feel too bad either when he kept him on the phone for a few minutes longer, just because he suddenly REALLY felt the need to say something. "Wait, Liam, I… I wanted to, um… tell you something."

"Oh… what is it?" His voice was undefinable, but Niall could imagine that he had gotten nervous because he himself surely had a bit of a faster beating heart. Which was ridiculous though, not like Niall was making love confessions or some shit, he didn’t even know when he had gotten nervous talking to someone who was his friend, and Liam especially, but after that talk and what he had confessed to the older man… it kinda seemed appropriate that he had to take a breath before speaking.

"Just wanted to… tell you that, you know… if _you_ ever have anything to talk about then I’m here as well. And I… I care about you too, I really do and… I’m really glad we’re friends and that we met and I’m also glad we hooked up and don’t remember any of it, even if it freaked you out, but… yeah, just wanted to make sure you know... " Since it was Christmas and all, Niall felt like he should have told Liam that, even if he felt a bit weird being nervous like this and saying things he would have never told anybody else, but… he was strangely relieved when the words were out, not really giving the other man a chance to answer though, knowing that he would have struggled for words. "So, yeah, um… I’ll go and… text Harry now and ask and… we’ll talk later?"

"Yeah, I… thank you, Niall. For saying that, I mean, I… " Then he broke off for a second, causing Niall to shift on his bed, a little bit confused at first when he heard the older man laughing quietly, nervously. "Now I’m probably gonna have to tell my mum about you… ‘m really… red. "

Oh. Well, that was a lot nicer than Niall would have thought, immediately causing him to chuckle along, because it was kinda… _cute_ that Liam had just admitted that. But he had always been braver over the phone. "Oh, well… please don’t tell her about my swearing then, don’t wanna leave a bad impression without even knowing her."

"Don’t worry, Ni, I’d never do that." He sounded pretty genuine, but Niall was still quietly hoping that it had been a joke, because well… he wasn’t too sure whether he wanted Liam’s mother to know about him, not that it mattered, he’d never meet her anyways, right?

The actually managed to go back and forth like this for another 10 minutes, until Niall started to feel _really_ guilty and they finally managed to hang up the phone, Liam once more promising that he was going to call again later and also that he would get Niall’s and Harry’s train tickets as soon as possible. Probably tomorrow morning he decided in the end.

Once Liam had hung up the phone, Niall felt a little bit lonely for a while, but then he texted Harry in order to ask whether he was going to come along to London and started to properly clean his face, silently walking out of his room even in order to get to the bathroom and search for some band aids, so it wouldn’t get all over his bed.

Still, despite the fact that Niall found a lot of distractions for himself, the second Liam called him back later at night when he was already lying in bed, he almost broke his thumb trying to pick up as quickly as possible, not even questioning his own behavior anymore. Or the fact that they talked for at least 1 or 2 in the morning, or how Niall couldn’t really remember falling asleep during the conversation, not sure whether he only imagined Liam’s half whispered "Sweet dreams, Ni…" before nodding off completely, with the phone dropped next to his head.

Ever since that night, Niall was pretty sure that he would have trusted Liam with his life, it was the first time they had really had a somewhat emotional talk like this, with one of them having a serious issue and none of them even just once saying or doing anything sexual or whatever, and even though Niall would have expected to regret whatever he had told Liam about his dad and everything, he was still relieved that he had done it when he woke up the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for all the kudos and the feedback :D I hope youre all still enjoying the fic bc I got a feeling itll turn out pretty fucking long :p


	11. Chapter 11

"And what’s so important that we have to hang around here the whole day long? Like… don’t take it personally, your house is really cool, but I have about a hundred other things I could be doing right now, this guy asked me to write a song for him and-"

"Trust me, Lou, you will not want to write a song for anybody right now. And besides, you’ve only been here for like half an hour." Liam interrupted his best friend as he had gone on yet another rant, the second one already, even though they hadn’t seen each other a lot during the past few days and had only been sitting on Liam’s couch for barely thirty minutes.

"Yeah, because it sounded like you were going to die within the next five minutes if I didn’t immediately jump into my car, just to see you sitting there in fucking sweatpants watching a Simpsons marathon. So, what’s going on?" This was also about the fifth time Louis demanded an answer to all of this, had Liam not known that his best friend would certainly forgive him in just a little bit, he would have maybe given in already. But it’d just ruin the surprise. "And stop grinning like that, it’s starting to freak me out, what’s gotten you so happy?"

"You’re gonna find out if you just wait a few more minutes, think you can handle that? Trust me, you’re gonna love me for it." Petting the older’s shoulder even though his hand got brushed off immediately, Liam chuckled before getting up off the couch to get something to drink, hearing a few grumbles from the other man but no real complaints anymore. Maybe he had finally given up.

The reason for Liam’s good mood was really simple, he had been waiting for Niall to _finally_ come for a visit for the past 7 days now, which actually didn’t sound very much at all, but considering they hadn’t seen each other in 3 weeks now, it seemed natural that Liam was really looking forward to the blonde’s visit. Especially because he’d be staying for a bit longer this time.

It’d be a lie to say that there was more than one reason why Liam wanted to have Niall here so desperately. One, because of course he was missing the boy, no matter how many times he might have tried to deny it, but also two, ever since Niall had called him on fucking crying on Christmas Eve because of what his dad had done, Liam had kinda lived in fear ever since that something worse might happen to the blonde.

Not that he wasn’t capable of taking care of himself, since he had managed to survive before knowing Liam as well, but just the thought of someone hurting Niall so badly that his ever cheerful and happy mood got replaced by tears was something the brunette man never ever wanted to experience again. It had been like talking to a completely different person, it hadn’t sounded like Niall at all, stuttering and half choking on his sobs, Liam had almost started to cry himself, barely being able to stand the thought that there was _nothing_ he could have done to really help his friend.

So yeah, even though Niall had been himself again the next day and every other day that they had talked during the last 7 days, of course had tried to brush it off every time Liam had somewhat tried asking about it, just to check in on him. He had already known that Niall’s family was pretty fucked up, but he had never known how much until that very moment, and maybe now a few things made a lot more sense, regarding Niall’s personality and all. To think that he had gone through so much in his life without really having anybody except for Harry caused Liam to feel even more protective of Niall, now that he knew all of this, the whole background, he almost felt guilty for everything he had.

The only thing he could have done really though was being there for Niall, right? And be a good friend and listen, which wasn’t very hard at all because the blonde loved to talk anyways and besides… during that phone call he had also kinda admitted that he really cared about Liam in return as well and that somehow had caused the brunette to like the blonde even more, if that was any possible. But it had just been so unexpected to hear these things out of his mouth, Liam had still found himself smiling an hour later, his fears of Niall not genuinely liking him as a friend suddenly seeming more than just ridiculous, like… maybe this was inappropriate, but Liam had almost felt proud that it had been him the blonde had called. Even if it was kinda really sad as well.

“You know… I’ve been thinking.” Louis started as soon as Liam had returned with two glasses, non-alcoholic even if the other man made a bit of a face at that, as if they weren’t gonna go to a party at night and could get absolutely smashed if they wanted to.

“About what?” He was probably going to start with all of this again, or somehow try to get Liam to tell him what they were waiting for, but Liam had promised Harry that he wasn’t gonna say anything at all. Even though maybe this had been kinda questionable, but if it came to Harry’s and Louis’ relationship, Niall and Liam had agreed on not asking any of them, mostly because it could have backfired pretty badly.

“Well, I mean… I actually would have thought that Niall and Harry coming to New York would cause a lot more talk online, but… since it seems there’s only one single picture of Niall that people are questioning, maybe we should ask them to come to London. I mean… they’re on break, right?” Alright, now it was kinda hard for Liam to bite back that grin and try to act casual, barely able to focus on the TV now because of how amused he was that Louis actually sounded pretty serious right now.

“Yeah, I mean… we could ask them tomorrow maybe?” Or just wait 15 more minutes because Niall had texted Liam that the driver had told him how much longer it was going to take, and then he had also sent the brunette man a picture that he had taken on the way, making him smile because it was obvious that the boy was excited judging by the way he was writing. 

“Yeah, alright. I’m not sure if they wanna come though, I think Harry really likes going home for Christmas.” That was true, Niall had told Liam that as well however it hadn’t seemed like he had had to convince the other boy, so he was probably really eager to see Louis as much as Louis seemed to be troubled that maybe Harry would not even want to see him. They really needed to talk this out, whatever _this_ was.

“’m sure he’d wanna see you, I mean… you get along really well, don’t you?” A dangerous question, Liam made sure to take a sip of his coke and pretend to be intensively watching TV, just so Louis wouldn’t start to ask him any questions back. It was obvious that they were both keeping something from the other, but Liam was still 99% convinced that whatever Louis was keeping, it wasn’t even coming close to what Liam and Niall were doing behind closed doors.

“I guess, yeah… just like you and Niall.” Probably not, but Liam held back, doing nothing else besides shrugging because honestly, the last thing he wanted was to really get into this, right before the other two would arrive. Which reminded him… there was still something he wasn’t quite sure about how to solve.

“If we ask them to come and they say yes… you think we should get them like, a hotel? Or they could both stay at my house, I mean, I have enough space, or… “ Or did Louis wanna have Harry to stay with him, because as of right now Liam was pretty sure that Niall had told Harry they’d be staying at a hotel, even though the blonde had made it pretty clear that he couldn’t wait to see Liam’s house and stay with him. Luckily, because Liam wanted to have Niall here as well, only him, and it’d be kinda inconvenient if Harry was there as well, and then maybe also Louis, it’d be like a sleepover or something.

“Hmmm… I mean, Harry can come stay with me as well, I’m just gonna ask him what he wants, I guess.” Perfect. 

“Yeah, me too. I’ll text Niall tomorrow.” Biting back another grin, Liam tried to be subtle as he checked his phone yet again, only slightly disappointed when only 5 minutes had passed. He had been waiting for 3 weeks to see the boy again, he surely could wait a few more minutes, right? Or so he would have thought.

“Okay. But this time I think you should get someone else to pick them up, like… I don’t know why, but it seems like Paddy kinda… doesn’t like them a lot?” Yeah about that…. Liam had had a talk with his bodyguard, and even though he seemed to like Niall better now than in the beginning, he had still warned Liam again about being careful and the brunette had now really gotten someone else to pick Harry and Niall up from the train station and bring them here. Just because he was kinda afraid of Paddy saying something in front of Harry or whatever. 

“Yeah, I don’t know… I think he was just worried, maybe he thinks they’re like… our groupies or something.” Liam decided that going with half the truth would be less suspicious than not saying anything, and to his surprise, it caused Louis to laugh.

“Sounds pretty legit. As if _you_ would ever keep around groupies right?” Yeah… pretty funny thought, wasn’t it? That Liam would keep someone around to have sex with even though they weren’t dating, ridiculous.

They kept going back and forth like this for the next few minutes, Louis once more tried to get Liam to tell him what exactly they were waiting for, very conveniently getting interrupted by the doorbell. Or not actually the doorbell, but somebody outside ringing for Liam to open the gates, his house was a little bit bigger than normal ones after all. He could only imagine what Niall was thinking right now seeing it.

“Wait… who the hell is that?” Louis actually sounded annoyed as he followed Liam to the front door like a dog, complaining all the way that Liam was an idiot for laughing and for not answering him, his eyes narrowing a bit as he stared at the display showing who was outside. “Isn’t that one of your drivers?”

“Maybe.” Liam teased, shrugging a bit, almost feeling slightly bad for being so amused, but usually it was Louis who played these kinda things on Liam, so it was kinda fun to be on the other end of it, especially because it reminded the brunette very much how Louis had invited Harry and Niall to Liam’s concert months ago. Even though… that was kinda different, Louis _wanted_ to see Harry after all.

As they waited by the door after Liam had opened the gates, Louis stayed completely clueless, even though it was kinda getting obvious by now, but to Liam’s amusement, his best friend kept asking and bothering him, at one point almost insulting him for staying so annoyingly mysterious. Well, but he didn’t really get to that part because that was when Liam opened the door, feeling slightly cold as he watched the car driving the last few meters before coming to a stop, the tainted windows keeping the secret for a tiny bit longer before Louis got promptly shut up as the doors opened.

“But… “ Seeing Louis speechless was one of the best parts, although Liam quickly forgot about pretty much everything as soon as Niall climbed out of the car, followed by Harry, both their faces pretty stunned but also excited, the first kinda overpowering the second though. Well, Liam had never really mentioned where he lived. 

“Holy fuckin’ bullshit… “ Was the first thing that came out of the blonde’s mouth before his eyes promptly settled on Liam, a smile playing around his lips even though the expression on his face was clearly shocked, he also seemed to be pretty overwhelmed as well. Good. “ _This_ is where you live?! Seriously?! Can’t believe you didn’t invite me sooner.”

“I’m sorry, Ni.” Clearly, Niall had been joking because the grin was very obvious and Liam couldn’t help but return it, ignoring how fucking cold it was outside as he walked down the stairs leading to his front door, more than just happy when the younger boy met him about half way, throwing his arms so tightly and suddenly around Liam that he almost had to stumble back, immediately hugging back as he felt Niall’s face burying against his shoulder. Fucking finally. “Hey… how was the ride?”

“Good… a bit long, but that’s fine. Harry had lots to talk about anyways.” There was a soft chuckle numbed by Liam’s clothes, somehow prompting the brunette to hold on even tighter, all the tension in his body simply vanished, a feeling of relief spreading inside of him, for some reason not wanting to ever let go again. He had really missed this boy and knowing that they wouldn’t have to say goodbye for a few more days was more than just exciting.

If it had gone after Liam, he would have kissed Niall right then and there, or at least told him that he had missed him, but just the thought of it got him to blush a little bit, plus of course, Louis and Harry were right over there as well, probably having hugged too before the older one finally woke from his trance, causing Niall and Liam to pull apart. “Why didn’t you tell me they were coming, Liam?!”

“Harry asked me not to. And … well, it _was_ quite funny to see you trying to guess it.” Laughing, Liam was barely able to focus on his best friend, his arm was still hanging over Niall’s shoulders and the blonde’s hand had remained on his lower back, a light weight that still kept Liam very aware of its presence. 

“Why would you do that, Harry, that’s not very nice, you know, I thought you wanted to stay at home or I would have asked you both to come before Liam.” Though he was clearly trying to sound mad or pissed off, he didn’t even come close because of the grin plastered across his face said a lot more than words. “I was gonna ask you to stay at my place but now… “

“He’d rather much stay at Liam’s place anyways, it’s probably three times the size of yours.” Niall threw in and though that was very true, Liam almost wanted to complain about Harry staying here as well, which he could have never done of course, but turned out it wasn’t necessary anyways.

“Wait… I thought we were staying at a hotel?” Right, no one had told Harry yet, the boy seemed quite confused when Niall just laughed once more, squeezing Liam before sadly slipping out from underneath his arm, not before throwing a quick smile back at him though as he walked back to the car.

“Well, you can stay at one if you want… or you try to beg Louis for forgiveness and-“ At this point, Niall had leaned in way too close to Harry as for Liam to understand, but whatever it was that he whispered into his best friend’s ear, it caused Niall to laugh and Harry to roll his eyes before shoving the blonde boy. Alright, maybe Liam was glad that he hadn’t heard it. 

To Liam’s surprise, Louis acted as if he hadn’t heard anything either, though he had been standing very close, but he did try to glare at Niall, not really succeeding though because as Liam knew well enough already, it was pretty damn impossible to even just pretend to be mad at this boy, especially when he was grinning so brightly. 

Niall and Harry didn’t have a lot of bags, though Niall’s clearly were a bit heavier, but it only was a matter of minutes before they had all gotten them inside and Liam had thanked the driver before sending him off with an extra tip, just because he was gonna need someone to pick Niall up in the future as well. Well, provided the boy would want to keep visiting Liam, but right now it looked like he never even wanted to leave again.

“This is so crazy, like… you live here all alone? Doesn’t it get, I don’t know… _too_ big?” That actually seemed like a very good question, Liam considered it for a moment before he shrugged, very well aware of Harry’s and Louis’ presence as he felt an urge to pull Niall in closer, trying his hardest not to stare too much. 

“I’m not home that often anyways, and if I am then usually there’s someone here or I’m at someone else’s house. I don’t really mind being alone here once a while though, and now you’re here so… “ He smiled at the younger boy, happy to see when it got returned, ignoring as Louis let out a huff next to them.

“It’s not even that big.” The oldest threw in and if Liam hadn’t known what this was about, he might have done more than just rolling his eyes. “But I guess if you wanna stay, Harry, I’d understand, I mean… I’m still mad at you but I have a guest room as well and I’d feel a bit cruel for not giving you any options besides being stuck with these two.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Niall seemed a bit upset, but it was obvious that he was relieved as well, it almost got Liam laughing to think about how badly they were trying to get to be all alone. Not that a house this big would have somehow gotten in the way of that, Liam had never planned on bringing Niall’s stuff to one of his guest rooms anyways, so… “We’re really fun, you know.”

“Yeah, well…. you maybe, but Liam…. not so much. “ There was nothing to reply really, Louis was only teasing because he was mad at Liam for not telling him, but it was obvious too that he was excited about how this day had turned out after all. Probably relived as well that they wouldn’t be spending it on Liam’s couch. “Anyways, I mean… your decision, Haz.”

It was quite funny really, how Niall almost burst out into laughter as Louis used that nickname for his best friend, giving Liam a hard time to hold back as well, seeing the blonde’s face this amused immediately infected him as well, whether he wanted to or not. “Yeah, I… I mean, I really wanna see your place too.”

God, this was getting awkward, all of them just standing there, you’d think that it was Harry and Louis who were hooking up on a regular basis and having skype sex every second day, Liam decided to pop in, just to change the topic a little bit, even if it was maybe slightly inappropriate. “Okay, I mean, you can still decide whatever you want, or only after the party, maybe we can-“

“Great. Can I have a house tour now?” Obviously, Niall had different plans though, his eyes had lightened up at the mentioning of the New Year’s party, but as there were still hours to go until then, he clearly wanted to do other things rather than just standing there and discussing where Harry was going to sleep when they all knew where he was gonna end up at anyways. Luckily. 

There was a slight grumble from Louis, but he didn’t protest against that idea, not that that would have stopped Liam, because seeing Niall’s excited and bright face right in front of his was all it took to immediately convince him to do anything the blonde asked for. Even if the band aid on the side of his face that Liam only noticed now that he had time to look more closely bothered him a lot. He had almost forgotten about all of this, Niall’s face looked fine besides that one thing and a light blue shade next to his eye that could have been mistaken for weird lightening. Unfortunately though, Liam knew very well that that wasn’t the case.

Now that Liam was reminded of that again, it was a bit harder to get his mind off again, even if Niall’s and Harry’s faces at seeing more of the inside of the house were a pretty good distraction, the brunette man just simply couldn’t help himself, not even thinking as he grabbed Niall’s wrist as soon as Harry needed a quick bathroom break and Louis had gone to the kitchen to get something to drink. “Hey… “

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Niall seemed confused as Liam pulled him in a bit closer, but his hand came resting against the older’s hip immediately, almost as if the movement had already been automatic. His face was very expecting for a second before he cocked his head slightly, obviously not knowing why Liam was staring at him like that. “That’s a bit of a too serious look if you wanted to ask me for a kiss, you know.”

“I… no, I didn’t, I just… “ Letting out a quick laugh as he felt his cheeks getting hotter, suddenly aware of how close they were, Liam slowly lifted his hand, eyes getting stuck again on the band aid before barely touching it with his thumb, immediately causing Niall to let out a breath as he understood what this was about. “Just… are you okay?”

“Yeah… ‘m fine, Liam, I told you. It’s healing, don’t worry, yeah? Nothing else happened… “ His voice had gone more quiet, but he didn’t shy away from Liam’s touch, he just let him brush his thumb over his wound, and then over the fading bruise next to his eye, very gently without really touching him, but somehow, the brunette man just couldn’t bring himself to pull back, he hated seeing any blemish on Niall’s pale skin, especially because he knew how it had gotten there. Had he not known that it would have been absolutely crazy, he would have maybe even leaned in to kiss the spots. “I’m good, Li… “

Even Niall repeating himself though didn’t really convince Liam, the boy had reassured him on the phone over the last 7 days as well, but… seeing it live and thinking back to the night Niall had called him was a bit different. “Does it… does anything still hurt, like… ?”

“No, I… only a bit, certain spots, but like… not a lot, just a little bit. It’s okay though, I… I’ve had worse.” Okay, he should have definitely not said that, but lucky for him Liam was still busy stroking the bruise next to Niall’s eye with his thumb, feeling how soft his skin was and how their breath was mixing. How close they had gotten all of a sudden. “I told Harry that... that it was my brother. Because he never would have believed that I fell and… I don’t know, it sounded better than… telling the truth. You know, like, sibling fights and stuff… “

“Did your brother ever… hit you?” This was just getting worse and worse, Liam was about to slowly drop his hand, or more like, forcing himself to do it, and he might have succeeded had Niall’s hand not suddenly come up from where it had been resting against Liam’s hip, looking him straight in the eyes as he grabbed a hold of Liam’s hand, just holding it for a second before slowly removing it from his face, not letting go though. 

“Yes. But I did as well, it’s like I said…. sibling fights. But… it never got as bad as… you know.” Seeing the blonde fighting with his words was strange, also slightly alarming, but Liam still couldn’t help but feel something like pride that the boy was opening up to him, that he had even lied to his best friend yet he had somehow chosen to tell Liam the truth. “Everything’s good though, don’t worry, okay? I won’t have to see either of them for a while anymore anyways… thanks to you.”

“That’s okay, I… I would have… asked you anyways, so…” Provided Liam would have found the courage to because he wasn’t quite sure, so the fact that Niall being here now and staying for the rest of the break was also helping him in other ways made this even better. Even if of course nothing about what had happened was good, but… having him here still felt really nice. More than that.

“I know.” As the blonde let out a quick laugh before finally letting go of Liam’s hand, the brunette man almost felt disappointed, but he barely had any time to because Niall’s face had brightened up right before he suddenly went to hug Liam, firmly but not too tight, his head once more resting against Liam’s shoulder, warm breath hitting his bare skin. Okay. “Still… thank you. For being there for me and… for caring, you know.”

“You… you’re welcome, Niall…. “ Hugging back automatically, Liam tried to ignore whatever weird was going on in his stomach, he tried really hard not to but it was hard to not rest his head against Niall’s as he held him, closing his eyes because none of them seemed to really be about to let ago any time soon anyways. 

This was risky as hell and they were probably both aware of the fact that their friends could have come back any second, but since Niall didn’t lower his arms, Liam decided not to either, simply because feeling Niall against him like this, having him being this cuddly and everything felt really fucking nice, more than he would have liked to admit. Maybe that explained why he suddenly went crazy and turned his head to press his face into the boy’s hair for a second, lips placing only the idea of a kiss and if anything, it only caused Niall to hold on tighter. 

They didn’t speak for a few minutes, Liam decided not to question what exactly this was or what they were doing, instead simply trying to enjoy it, the fact that he had Niall here with him and got to hold him like this, completely different from the things they were usually doing. Sure, they had lied in bed next to each other with their arms brushing while simply watching TV and Niall had slept with his head on Liam’s shoulder, but…. It still didn’t come close to this hug. Somehow it seemed more intimate than anything else they had done, as crazy as that sounded.

When Niall did pull back it was all of a sudden and out of nowhere, Liam almost opened his mouth to protest, almost tried to hold the boy back, keep on holding him that tiny bit longer, but the blonde had brought distance between without the brunette man being able to do anything against it. At least it hadn’t been without reason. “Harry’s coming back.”

“How do you know?” Liam hadn’t heard anything at all, but he decided to trust the blonde anyways as he simply smiled at the older one, his cheeks looking a tiny bit redder than usually, probably not even coming close to how Liam’s felt though. His whole face seemed to be on fire now.

Before Niall had time to explain how the hell he would have known about his best friend’s arrival, Harry did indeed come back around the corner, apparently not finding anything strange with the way Niall and Liam were standing without talking. Just the thought of what would have happened had he found them while they had still been hugging was way too scary as to really consider it. Stupid, they had been sleeping together without anybody noticing and now they had almost gotten caught while _hugging_.

“Your bathroom is like… as big as my whole dorm.” Harry actually sounded pretty serious, causing Liam to chuckle because he doubted that that was true, especially because Niall was laughing as well, as if nothing had ever happened before. Still, the distance between them was a whole lot smaller than it probably should have been between normal people who had nothing to hide.

“Don’t lie, Haz, that’s not even possible. Our dorms aren’t that small.” Which Liam could confirm as he had seen Niall’s dorm a few times, only through a computer screen but that still counted, right? 

“But his bathroom is still really fucking huge, Niall.” Maybe it was, Liam wasn’t quite sure what to compare it with, all he knew was that the expression on Harry’s face was too funny as to try and defend himself now, like… it wasn’t a secret that he wasn’t exactly poor. The house alone was proof of that.

“Well, then be glad you got to use it once because I’m sure Louis’ is a lot smaller.” Alright now, that crossed the line, Liam had really tried but now he just had to laugh along with Niall, not too loudly though because he didn’t want to upset Harry too much and he already had a pretty pissed off expression on his face that seemed to only be meant for Niall though. Not that the blonde cared, he even threw his arm around his best friend’s shoulders, holding on even as the other one tried to pull away. “Come on, that was a joke, yeah? I’m sure he has a nice bathroom as well.”

“Shut up, Niall.” But in reality though, he didn’t sound very mad at all anymore and Liam was once more stunned to see that Niall seemed to have this effect on everybody, making it impossible to feel upset with whatever he had said because he always managed to make right up for it a second later.

As soon as Louis got back with something to drink, Niall and Liam tried really hard not to get back to the topic, throwing one or two looks at each other though that almost had the brunette man cracking up as he continued the house tour. Needless to say, having Niall here had improved his mood drastically and Liam was really counting on that to continue, especially since they were still going to go somewhere tonight and then, hopefully, come back here without the other two.

 

\-----------

 

Though of course Niall had somewhat known what kinda party they were going to, he still couldn’t help but feel unprepared and more than just overwhelmed almost as soon as they arrived. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that he had barely been thinking about any of this but had rather been counting the fucking _hours_ until he’d get to see Liam again, and now that he was finally there… that hadn’t really changed anything.

Harry had been almost as excited about coming here as Niall (but not quite of course), although he had kinda had to lie to his mother and tell her that they were staying with a “friend”, which was somewhat also true, but probably not quite what she was now thinking, especially regarding the location. Either ways, Niall hadn’t really cared that much at all whether Harry was going to come along as well, which he should have maybe felt bad about, but ever since his best friend had kinda turned this into a game of “let’s not tell Louis, I wanna surprise him”, it was pretty clear that the feeling was mutual anyways. Although… maybe not exactly. 

They hadn’t done much before the party, after Liam had given them a house tour and Niall had used every single chance to be close to him, especially after their little… moment where the brunette man had once again proven that he cared more about Niall than the blonde boy probably deserved, they had changed clothes and Liam had taken a shower, unfortunately not coming out naked though as Harry and Louis had still been there as well.

Actually, the other had two stayed with them until it had been time to leave, which maybe wasn’t quite what Niall had hoped for, but knowing that he would have enough time to have Liam all to himself during the next days and the fact that they were at the most amazing fucking party that the blonde boy had ever been to (and would ever attend as well) made up for whatever second he had wasted with the brunette man due to the presence of the other two. Now though, Niall’s mind wasn’t revolving about any of them anymore.

“Oh my god… I know I’m saying this a lot whenever you show me anything, but… _oh my god _?!” Maybe Niall’s reaction was a bit too much, but he still couldn’t get over the fact that this was a fucking LOFT and that he already knew who every second person passing them was because they were all at least somewhat famous and the fact that even Niall had seen these people before really said something because clearly, he wasn’t very educated in that field. Harry was definitely going to die.__

__“You okay?” It was a wonder that Liam had even heard Niall to be honest, it was really loud and there was music and everyone was talking, but somehow the blonde boy also managed to hear Liam’s chuckle, maybe because it was right next to his ear, his arm around Niall’s waist. Not that it mattered here, there was no one there who could have photographed them or whatever, and also, Harry and Louis weren’t even here yet either, they had split so that they could bring Harry’s stuff to Louis’ place, which had been very much in Niall’s favor because that meant he had gotten to snog Liam in the car._ _

__“’m fine, just… wow. This is crazy, Liam, I…. I don’t know what I expected, but…” Probably not this, sure, Liam had told him about all of this, but actually seeing it was a whole lot different. Now it seemed even more ridiculous but also amusing that his dad was thinking that Niall had gone back to college, not that he had cared much at all as Niall had been spending every day after that… ‘incident’ at Harry’s house anyways, but it was still kinda funny to think about. “Are you sure that… that this isn’t weird that you brought me, I mean, like… “_ _

__“No, why would it be? It’s not a public event, Ni, everyone brings whoever they want, it’ll be fine, promise. “ He sounded pretty convinced, which was hard to tell with all that background noise, but Niall felt himself relax a little bit as Liam’s palm rubbed over the small of his back. At least everyone he saw was dressed rather casually as well, so at least he wouldn’t stand out with what he was wearing, he had almost gotten a bit nervous when he had seen Liam putting on a button up before. “Just make sure to warn me whenever you see someone you wanna ask for a selfie, okay?”_ _

__“I’m not like… a fangirl or something, so don’t worry. Good luck to Louis though… “ Although, maybe Harry was only like this when it came to Louis, Niall wasn’t quite sure and he also wasn’t very keen on finding out how their night would go because he wasn’t really planning on seeing them again tonight._ _

__Liam laughed once more, his arm again tightening around Niall and though the blonde usually wasn’t nervous at parties, he was very thankful for the support right now. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to someone, a friend of mine, and you probably don’t know him, so don’t worry, it’ll be fine, he was the director of my last music video.”_ _

__“Oh…. the one where you were shirtless for half of the time? I think I’m gonna like this guy.” Niall just answered without thinking, half expecting Liam to just laugh it off again before taking him over to wherever he had seen that guy, but instead, he just stared at the blonde boy for a moment, eyes going a bit wider. “What?”_ _

__“I… you watched my music videos?” Oh, right, Niall had never really told Liam about that, had he? Still, Liam’s almost shocked expression was making Niall feel a little bit bad, had he really given Liam that kinda vibe, that he didn’t care about his career in ANY way?_ _

__“Yeah, sure, I… I even illegally downloaded your last album, you know. Just so I don’t come off too dumb when I can’t sing along like Harry of course.” Niall explained, maybe a little bit trying to talk himself out of it, but like… he had straight out told Liam he hated his music after the second time they had seen each other, so it would have seemed a bit unrealistic if he had grown to love it, wouldn’t it?_ _

__“Did you… did you really do that?! I thought you hated all my songs.” Clearly, Liam seemed to be stuck between shocked and overly happy, causing the younger boy to laugh a little bit as he watched the older’s facial expression change. He couldn’t believe that they were having this conversation now, _here_ , out of all places._ _

__“I mean… I kind of did but then… after I came to your concert the second time, they weren’t that bad anymore, and like, I don’t know, I was a bit curious and everything. So yeah, I’ve seen all your videos, even your first one, very cute.” Although Liam hadn’t been a lot younger there than Niall was now, he still smirked as he thought back at the video, and even more so when he saw Liam’s face change once more. “Why are you that surprised, Li? I’m not completely ignoring the fact that you’re an international popstar.”_ _

__“Well… you are when we’re talking, but… thank you though. For watching them and for… illegally downloading my music.” He tried to sound mad at the last sentence, but his smile had now grown so big that Niall was somehow happy that he had never told Liam about any of this and only just did it now, it had been a few weeks ago already as well._ _

__“You’re welcome. I’ll let you know when I listened to your other albums as well.” Niall really did plan on doing that, he just hadn’t gotten around to it, but the fact that Liam pulled him in a bit closer for that made it way worth mentioning._ _

__“I’m counting on that. Come on, I’m really gonna introduce you now, I’m sure you’re gonna find something to talk about.” Most definitely. “I was thinking of getting him to direct my next music video too, you know.”_ _

__“Sounds like a really good idea, I wanna come on set if you do.” Though it was somewhat a joke, Niall somehow wasn’t expecting Liam to agree, since he had no idea how any of this would work or whatever, he was a little bit surprised when the older man wrapped an arm around his shoulders as he slowly led him past a few people, the smile still very prominent on his face as the blonde checked._ _

__“Sure, I’d love if you came.” The fact that he sounded so genuine almost caused Niall’s stomach to twist into knots, just a little bit though of course, trying not to think about why he suddenly _really_ wanted to come to one of Liam’s video shoots. Just because it’d be interesting to see probably. _ _

__Turned out that the director of Liam’s last music video was a lot younger than Niall had thought so he actually had fun talking to him, especially because he didn’t seem to find it weird at all that Liam had brought Niall along. Actually, neither did any of the other people Liam introduced the blonde to, they spent about an hour and a half just going around and talking to some people, drinking a bit but not too much as neither of them was really planning on getting smashed, obviously, not here._ _

__They did see Louis and Harry briefly, but they seemed very busy talking to some actor or whatever Niall knew Harry had a massive crush on, so they had a pretty good excuse as to why they didn’t go over. To be quite honest, the blonde kinda had a feeling that Liam was really glad that Niall didn’t beg him to introduce him to someone just once, it’s just, he cared very little about celebrities, as everyone knew, but the brunette man still seemed to be very amused by that and, even if he never actually said that out loud, kinda relieved maybe? Either ways it was kinda really nice that he kept his arm around Niall almost all the time, they even ended up holding hands once, but only because they didn’t wanna lose each other in between all the people. Of course._ _

__Honestly, Niall had almost forgotten that this was a New Year’s Eve party, but Liam reminded him of that, a little bit before it was actually time and they had spent quite some time looking for the toilets because Niall had thought he was going to piss himself or something, for once actually making Liam laugh by using exactly these words._ _

__“Hey… let’s go out on the balcony, okay? I could kinda need some air and… it’s almost midnight.” Niall immediately nodded to that suggestion, not at all surprised anymore when he felt Liam’s hand wrapping around his wrist, softly pulling him towards the doors that led outside and the blonde made sure to follow quickly, so Liam’s fingers wouldn’t slip from around him._ _

__The air was cold outside, considering the season and time and everything, and Niall kinda hated himself for not having worn anything warmer or at least brought a jacket or something, but they had kinda only been in the car and then inside, so he hadn’t really seen a reason to. Maybe he should have kept in mind that usually everyone went outside during a New Year’s Eve party. “Fuck, it’s cold… a wonder it isn’t snowing.”_ _

__“You alright?” Liam seemed a little bit worried, it was easier to understand him once they had found a somewhat quiet place outside and Niall’s attempt at not shivering too much got a little bit disturbed when he had to admire the view from up here, even better than the one he had had from Liam’s hotel room in New York, he could even see the Big Ben from up here. Absolutely mad._ _

__“Yeah ‘m fine… just a bit cold, is all. But damn, look at that, do you always celebrate New Year’s like this?!” No one else besides Niall seemed to be staring this much or be this blown away, maybe that explained why it caused Liam to laugh, rather looking at the younger boy though than over the city._ _

__“Well… not really, actually. If you hadn’t come then… I would have probably gone home to celebrate with my parents to be honest.” He shrugged a little bit, his eyes still stuck on Niall, the same worried expression on his face causing the blonde to try and keep still for a little bit, not wrap his arms around himself and jump up and down. “Niall, are you sure you’re okay? We can go back inside, you’re shivering.”_ _

__“No, no, really, it’s okay.” It was only for a few more minutes anyways, right? Hopefully. “How could you ever miss out on a party like this though, can’t believe Louis wouldn’t have dragged you to come here anyways.”_ _

__“He would have certainly been a pain in the ass about it, so thanks for coming because you spared me that…. and celebrating with my parents isn’t that much fun either, they always invite the neighbors and… well, you can imagine.” Not really, but Niall still nodded sympathetically, giving Liam a smile when the older rubbed his hands over the boy’s upper arms in order to try and warm him up a little bit._ _

__“You’re welcome, you know… was really hard for me to choose coming here over celebrating with Harry’s grandparents, it’s so much fun to repeat myself 25 times every time I say something.” Not that Niall didn’t love staying at Harry’s house, but sadly, this wasn’t an exaggeration, but at least it made Liam laugh and the blonde joined, leaning a bit closer towards the older man. “No, but seriously… I’m really glad you asked me to come.”_ _

__“Yeah? Me too… and I’m also glad that… you’re gonna stay with me for the next few days, you know… “ It was impossible to tell, but Niall was still pretty sure that he could see Liam’s cheeks turning a bit pinker, which could maybe have been blamed on the coldness, however he did hesitate a little bit, his voice having turned a tiny bit more careful._ _

__“Me too… and not only because of my family, but… I like staying with you.” Which was kinda obvious, like, of course Niall was happy that he didn’t have to go back home anymore for quite a while now, but he had barely talked to his dad or brother anymore after what had happened, so it hadn’t really been that essential to get away, however… staying with Liam was still Niall’s first choice._ _

__“Thanks… “ The brunette man returned the smile mirrored on Niall’s face, seemingly a tiny bit embarrassed, however he made sure to quickly change the topic by suddenly starting to take his jacket off, not really giving Niall a chance to keep him from it as soon as he had guessed what he was about to do. “Here, there’s only a few minutes left but I really don’t want you to catch a cold.”_ _

__“It’s fine, Li, I-“_ _

__“No, come on, I… remember when you borrowed me your jacket, when… you know? It’s fine, promise, I’m not that cold.” No idea why he thought of reminding Niall of that now, but it immediately caused the blonde boy to give up his protest, a somewhat warm feeling settling in the pit of his stomach as he thought back to that day. Telling Liam that they could talk sometimes and giving him his number surely had been a really good decision, hadn’t it?_ _

__The older’s jacket was really warm, probably because he had been wearing it for so long because it was actually quite thin, but Niall felt better immediately, even if it didn’t warm him up completely. “Thank you. I’m… still kinda cold though.”_ _

__“How’s that even possible?” Liam let out a quick laugh though his face immediately turned worried again and Niall would have felt bad for what he had said had the brunette man not suddenly wrapped an arm back around Niall’s shoulders, pulling him in closer towards him. “Come here… maybe this’ll help… “_ _

__It was certainly worth a try, the younger boy couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face as he hurried to hug Liam back, maybe a bit too quickly, but he kinda forgot to care about it when he felt Liam’s arms tightening, his hand rubbing over the younger’s back as Niall decided that it didn’t matter as he rested his head against Liam’s shoulder, something he had really come to like doing._ _

__Honestly, Niall was still cold even though Liam was holding him like this, but he surely had nothing to complain about anymore, not even feeling scared that Harry and Louis might have seen them like this. Like, he was way past the point of thinking about why they were being so cuddly with each other when usually Niall wasn’t like this at all, didn’t like people babying him or whatever in any way. It was just different here because… Niall somehow liked being close to Liam because it made him feel calmer, and the older boy really did give very good hugs and he always smelled really nice as well._ _

__“Better?” Liam finally asked, but his voice was a lot softer now, and harder to understand, his cheek resting against Niall’s head at least warming Niall’s scalp and maybe he would have closed his eyes if it hadn’t been kinda weird maybe. Plus, it was almost midnight as well._ _

__“Yeah… thank you.” Though Niall was kinda lying, he found himself smiling against Liam’s shirt, somehow wishing the older one would have turned his head once more to kiss the top of his head like he had back at his place, very subtly though, probably thinking that Niall hadn’t even noticed, but he definitely had and even though he didn’t know why, but the blonde had found it very calming in a strange way._ _

__They didn’t really stay like this for very long, two minutes at most, because that was when everyone around them started counting loudly and Niall pulled back a little bit, kinda planning on watching out for the fireworks, but instead, his eyes got kinda stuck on Liam’s face, his arms still somewhat around the older’s middle as Liam himself hadn’t really let go of him either._ _

__Niall didn’t know why he didn’t just turn his head and let go of Liam, with one arm at least, he only had like 10 seconds left before he’d miss everything, and yet he just stood there, staring into Liam’s eyes, suddenly more than just aware of how close their faces were, how tightly Liam was still holding onto him, not making any attempts to change that either._ _

__It was stupid and risky and unnecessary, but there was something inside of Niall that suddenly caused him to think about how he had never really had a New Year’s kiss, not one he could have remembered anyways, because he had never been as sober as right now on that day and so naturally, he hadn’t been able to remember anything the very next day. Now though, he had maybe only had two glasses and wasn’t feeling the alcohol at all, and yet he felt his brain emptying all of a sudden, his mind filling with nothing else but the thought of how nice it would have been to kiss Liam right here and now, with all these people around them, right when they clock would get to 0._ _

__And so he did._ _

__There was no protest coming from the older man, he immediately kissed back, allowed Niall to curve his body even more into his and completely invade his space, none of them even having gotten to see just the glimpse of a firework, honestly, the blonde wasn’t even sure if he heard any of the screaming around him, everything seemed to be kinda dull and coming from further away. Everything besides Liam’s hands on his body and his warm lips pressed against Niall’s, tongue pressing past in order to join the younger boy’s, turning this into something more than just a simple New Year’s kiss._ _

__They weren’t crazily making out or anything, it was rather pretty slow and maybe not quite appropriate for the place they were at, but Niall couldn’t be arsed to care about that because he wasn’t even thinking about what could have happened or who could have possibly seen them because there was nothing on his mind besides Liam._ _

__The way his lips felt against Niall’s and his tongue massaging the younger boy’s, his hand coming up at one point in order to cup Niall’s cheek, causing him to shiver just a tiny bit because it was rather cold, but if anything, he just moved closer against Liam anyways, curling into him, his fingers grabbing a hold of Liam’s shirt, not leaving the tiniest bit of distance between them._ _

__Niall had lost every sense of time when they finally pulled apart, their warm breath still mixing, and he kept his eyes closed for a little bit longer, needing a second or two in order to come back to himself again, heart hammering against his chest as he blinked a few times only to find himself staring into Liam’s brown eyes once more, all the background noises still sounding a bit too quiet._ _

__“I… do you wanna… go home?” Nothing in the world could have sounded better than this right now, Liam was clearly out of breath, just like Niall felt and the blonde couldn’t have answered even if he had wanted to, but luckily a nod of his head was enough to have Liam’s hand slipping into his just a second later, pulling him through all the people still cheering and wishing each other a happy new year, none of it really getting through to the blonde boy though._ _

__Was it bad that he hadn’t even seen one single firework that night?_ _

__

__\-------------_ _

__

__Actually, Niall didn’t even know how they managed to get back to Liam’s house without tearing each other’s clothes off, the driver probably had a trauma afterwards because of how frantically they had been snogging in the backseat, almost choking on their laughter when Niall one time almost fell off the seat because none of them had bothered to put their seat belts on. There had been paparazzi outside the building, so Niall had made sure to hide his face and though Liam had been worried for like 10 seconds after they had gotten into the car, that had quickly changed once Niall had shoved his tongue back into the older’s mouth._ _

__Nothing really mattered once they had each other all to themselves again, in private finally, Niall couldn’t even remember anything they had done at the party, or that they had even been there to begin with when they stumbled into Liam’s massive bedroom, the older man’s fingers touching Niall’s bare skin as he had already thrown his shirt somewhere a minute after they had gotten inside. Not seeing each other for three weeks had been building up to this, it wasn’t their fault, was it? That they acted like crazy, horny teen each other who hadn’t seen each other in a year?_ _

__“Liam… Liam, take it off… “ Niall couldn’t help but whine as the older man took way too long to undress himself, barely even having any time to speak though because neither of them liked to pull apart for too long, their lips red and swollen, Liam’s probably hurting as much as Niall’s did by now._ _

__“Yeah… one second… “ The older man panted, again pressing their mouths together, groaning as Niall somehow managed to get the button of his jeans open and shoved a hand past Liam’s boxer shorts, cupping his already half hard erection, not being able to wait any longer. “Shit…”_ _

__“C’mon… we’ve been waiting… for _weeks_ … I want you… now.” Maybe that’s what finally did it, because Liam almost forcefully pushed the younger boy back onto the mattress, without hurting him of course though, and Niall smirked, chest heaving as he watched the brunette man undressing in front of him in record time, first pulling his shirt off and then his already half undone jeans along with his boxer shorts because it didn’t matter anymore anyways, they weren’t gonna take their time and it was pretty obvious by now. “Liam…”_ _

__“’m here…” Was all the older man brought out between pants before moving to straddle the younger boy after Niall had moved up the bed a little bit, still in his jeans as Liam hovered above him, leaning down for another kiss as Niall’s arms locked tightly around his neck in order to keep him closer, shuddering as he felt Liam’s erection brushing against his stomach, his own pants starting to get tight._ _

__They just snogged for a while, mouths opening wide, no sound in the room besides their spit slicked mouths meeting over and over again, and their heavy pants whenever they pulled apart for just a second, the sheets moving underneath Niall whenever Liam thrusted their hips together. It seemed to take bloody ages until he had finally gotten a hand in between them in order to undo the younger’s belt, not breaking the kiss as he attempted to undress him like this, in the end still having to sit up for a second so Niall had enough room to kick his jeans and boxer shorts off, already feeling impatient when Liam didn’t lean down to kiss him again a second later._ _

__For a moment, they just stared at each other like that, both having messed up hair, chests rising too quickly and too fast, their lips all swollen and wet, sweat glistering on Liam’s forehead and Niall couldn’t have thought of anywhere in the world he would have rather been at right now. Or a person he would have rather been with._ _

__Thought it lasted only so shortly, it almost got the blonde a bit emotional, which was stupid because they were about to fuck and he had only not seen Liam for 3 weeks and he was naked and lying in the older’s bed while Liam was frantically searching through his night stand before coming back with a condom package, his face kinda apologetically. “I…. I have no lube… “_ _

__“’s fine, just… use your spit.” No need to mention that Niall had lube in his bag, he literally wouldn’t have survived having to get up now and having to look for it, not with precum leaking onto his belly and Liam completely naked next to him, looking so hot that Niall could have probably cum just from looking at him or something. “Please, just… hurry.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah, I… spread your legs.” Niall closed his eyes as Liam moved between his legs, not caring if it hurt, he just wanted to feel the older man, the obscene sound of the brunette sucking on his fingers getting Niall to feel even hotter, his dick twitching a bit at just the thought of what was about to come. Shit. “Tell me if… if it hurts.”_ _

__“Mhm… “ Was basically all Niall brought out between heavy breaths, not being able to grasp just one clear thought anymore as Liam’s wet fingers rubbed a tight circle over his hole in order to get it wet, the first push inside hurting a little more than expected, but nowhere near where Niall would have told Liam to give him a break. Hell, he was so close already and they hadn’t even done anything._ _

__“Alright… ?” Liam’s voice sounded deeper than usually as he asked, a little bit hoarse as well, but he did wait after he had pushed his whole finger in, until Niall had nodded, arm draped across his eyes as he bit into his bottom lip, trying not to push down against the older’s hand, the feeling only slightly more on the pleasurable side._ _

__“Yeah… do more… " Just anything to get them to hurry up really, Niall almost groaned in frustration when Liam simply ignored his request, moving his one finger a bit before of course brushing Niall’s prostate a few too many times in order to tease, obviously loving the fact that it got the blonde boy half moaning and wringing underneath him. Dick. "Liiiaaamm…"_ _

__Although it probably only took like five minutes, it seemed like ages to Niall until Liam could finally move three fingers inside of him and seemed pleased with how he had prepped the younger boy, completely having ignored Niall’s begs until now about how he should just finally put his fucking cock inside of Niall, only laughing when Niall tried to kick him. See, that was the nice part, they could still joke around while being painfully hard and with three of Liam’s fingers up Niall’s ass._ _

__"I hate you… " Niall panted out as Liam ripped the condom package with his teeth, not bothering to sit up and take it out of his hands in order to put it on for him because it would have just cost them extra time and Niall didn’t have any if he didn’t want to come from anything else than Liam’s erection piercing into him._ _

__"Yeah alright." Smirking a bit cockily, Liam’s face turned concentrated for a moment as he rolled the condom on, breathing getting a bit heavy as Niall watched intently, feeling a drop of sweat running down the side of his face as he just lay there, kinda limb, legs and arms feeling like jelly already. "Okay… "_ _

__"Come back here… " Waiting for Liam to position himself, Niall immediately wrapped his arms back around the older’s neck, pulling him down as he felt the head of Liam’s erection bumping against his entrance and causing both of them to groan right before their lips met again, for about the hundredth time tonight, Niall’s tongue immediately slipping inside of Liam’s hot mouth, fingers pulling tightly on the brunette’s damp hair._ _

__All the tension building up combined with the fact that Liam had prepped Niall more than just sufficiently allowed him to slip inside of the younger boy without much resistance, his mouth almost slipping off of Niall’s as he finally bottomed out, not moving for a second or two, either trying not to cum right then or there or giving Niall a second to get used to the feeling. Probably not the last though because the blonde boy immediately moving his hips was probably more than enough indication of what he wanted. He had waited long enough, hadn’t he, and he had also shared Liam with too many people today when they could have been here fucking in every room of Liam’s house, which would have taken them the whole day but it was definitely one of Niall’s goals ever since he had found out how big the building actually was._ _

__They were still kissing when Liam pulled out before thrusting back in, punching all the air out of Niall with the force of it, not holding back like he had done a lot of times before, he seemed just as desperate as the blonde now and Niall couldn’t have been happier, forcing his tired legs to wrap around the back of Liam’s thighs in order to keep him closer. Shit, he wasn’t gonna last, not like this, not with his leaking erection being sandwiched between their bellies and Liam’s hot tongue inside of his mouth and the lovely drag of his dick across Niall’s inner walls, brushing his prostate in an unsteady rhythm._ _

__Never before had they been this private, Liam’s house was outside the city obviously, and even if it hadn’t been, it was so fucking massive that no one would have heard them even if they had been standing right outside. Maybe it was because of this that Liam wasn’t holding anything back, the bed bumping against the wall as he kept fucking Niall, hands on either side of the blonde’s head in order to support himself as they weren’t able to kiss any longer because of lack of air._ _

__Honestly, maybe Niall liked it better like this, with Liam’s face right above his, still having his fingers crunched into the hair in the back of his neck, not having to even try and be quiet because it literally didn’t matter, they could be as loud as they wanted to be, and that alone was such a turn on that Niall was moaning twice as much as usually. "FUCK, Liam… fuck… aaah, yeah… yeah, harder… please, harder… "_ _

__"Shit… " The older man grunted, his face all sweaty and red above Niall, hips snapping against the younger one’s until he wasn’t able to keep his legs around Liam’s thighs anymore, letting them drop open as he desperately tried to hold back, not wanting to cum just yet but rather drag this out for as long as possible. Looking at Liam like this, all messed up and concentrated, fucking Niall so hard and fast that the blonde boy saw stars dancing in the corner of his vision, not even able to control anymore what was coming out of his mouth, whether it were curses or moans or Liam’s name. Or a mixture of all three._ _

__Niall had had sex with a lot of people, maybe not in the last few weeks (with no particular reason of course, he just hadn’t felt like it, nothing else), but nothing ever came close to the sex with Liam, which didn’t mean that everyone else he had had had been extremely bad but Liam was just exceptionally good at it probably. Or maybe he wasn’t, but the blonde still couldn’t remember ever feeling like this before, not once._ _

__When the bed was making obscene noises as if it was close to breaking, Niall knew that he couldn’t hold back for much longer anymore, his panting getting desperate as Liam still wasn’t going any slower, clearly chasing his own orgasm as well now when his hand suddenly wrapped around Niall’s ignored member, sloppily jerking him off as he continued thrusting into him. "C’mon, Ni…. Fuck…. "_ _

__Their eyes locked after what seemed like ages and with one particular hard thrust against Niall’s prostate, the boy closed his eyes unconsciously, probably biting his lip bleeding as he arched his back and came all over Liam’s hand and between their naked bodies, feeling like he had just gone to cloud nine as Liam fucked him through his high, not leaving him one second to breathe, a moan consisting of only the brunette’s name leaving Niall’s mouth as his orgasm got dragged out, voice probably embarrassingly high._ _

__Niall’s vision was more than blurry as he slowly came down from it, ears feeling as if they were stuffed with cotton as he just laid underneath Liam, feeling so tired out and exhausted that he barely even felt the older man continuing to fuck into him before he came as well, only seconds later, hips stuttering to a stop, his groan most likely just as loud as Niall’s had been before he collapsed on top of the younger boy. Hold shit._ _

__None of them spoke for a bit, they were both trying to catch their breath and Niall’s hearing wasn’t fully back, neither was his vision, so he pressed his eyes closed, loving the way Liam’s heavy and sweaty body was pressing him into the mattress, how the whole room seemed to smell of sex and sweat and how much his legs were burning. Maybe this was crazy, but Niall still felt at peace as he wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck, not moving but rather just listening to both their unsteady breaths, feeling Liam’s heart beating in his chest._ _

__"No, stay… " The blonde managed to slur out as Liam moved after what seemed like ages, tightening his arms around him, because even though maybe he should have found all of this pretty gross, all Niall was certain of right now was the didn’t want any of them to move just an inch, he wanted to stay exactly like this._ _

__"Okay… " Liam’s breath against Niall’s skin felt hot, his voice quiet, but the blonde boy still somehow heard him, relief spreading through him when Liam once more put his full weight on top of him, probably as tired and worn out as the younger boy felt. Or even more, seeing as he had done all the work._ _

__Maybe Liam did pull out after a while and went to clean himself up, or maybe he just stayed like this, but Niall never really found out about what happened afterwards because he pretty much slept in like this, with Liam on top of him, face buried between Niall’s neck and shoulder, weight keeping the blonde pinned to the mattress and yet it seemed more comfortable to Niall than any other position he could have thought of._ _

__To think that they had _days_ to do this as many times as they wanted or do whatever else they felt like almost seemed way too good to be true. To be honest, Niall wasn’t even questioning anymore why he even seemed to be excited about simply having breakfast with Liam._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you once again for so many lovely comments! im glad youre all enjoying the story so far and i do hope you will continue to do so!  
> the next chapter will kind of shift things a bit so im really excited about that! :D
> 
> i only just now noticed that they fuck in almost every chapter and i felt like i had to include the last scene because i thought there wasnt enough smut haha , youre welcome ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Liam Payne caught sharing intimate New Year’s kiss with mysterious blonde**

_The 25-year-old, openly bisexual, singer attended a very exclusive New Year’s party in London last night, accompanied by what private sources referred to as a ‘close friend’._

_Shortly before the fireworks went off, Payne and his (male) companion shared a very intimate kiss on the balcony, captured only by accident through another guest’s snapchat video (see video below). Only minutes later, Liam Payne and his ‘friend’ (wearing Payne’s jacket) were pictured by photographers leaving the party alone in a private car._

_There have been no reports of who the mysterious blonde might be as he has been very careful to hide his face and keep his identity a secret. However, fans of the British singer are now speculating wildly about who it might be, especially after more pictures emerged, showing the blonde in both Los Angeles and New York entering Liam Payne’s hotel (see pictures below) during his recently wrapped up world tour._

_Does this put an end to Payne’s (long lasting) single life? Or has he simply grown fond of keeping groupies around to cure his loneliness?_

 

Though Liam had already read the article about 50 times, it wasn’t becoming any better the 51st time either. Or after re-watching the video or staring at the pictures of him and Niall leaving the party, Niall very conveniently still wearing his jacket, using one hand to shield his face and the other to hold onto Liam’s wrist so he wouldn’t stumble. Maybe it wouldn’t have been as bad if that had been the only magazine or newspaper writing about it, or having visual proof of what had happened, but sadly, it were about 20 or more and that was only a few hours after.

Liam had woken up in the morning to his phone vibrating like crazy, quickly making sure to leave the room so he wouldn’t wake up Niall as he had, very confusedly answering a call from his manager. Well, and the rest was hardly necessary to elaborate. _Of course_ everyone had tried texting and calling Liam, a few of his friends, and _especially_ Louis, who had put up a new record of calling Liam. 45 times to be exact. 

So after making sure to promise his manager that he was going to call her back later and explain everything, Liam had put his phone on silent and off vibrate, for a moment just standing in the hallway, still naked, his body feeling unable to move, somehow feeling an urge to just get back into bed, just try and fall back asleep and pretend none of it had happened.

Liam didn’t do any of these things though, he did walk back to his room, trying to keep calm as he searched for some boxer shorts before getting back into bed, his eyes getting stuck on the blonde boy sleeping soundly on the other side, all tangled up in the blankets, his quiet and even breathing somehow calming the brunette just a tiny bit. The thought of telling Niall though and having the blonde react in a bad way was more than just a fucking scary thought, like… what if he wanted out now? No one had seen his face, he could have just left without any consequences for himself besides a little bit of teasing from Harry, what was Liam going to do if Niall decided that that was it?

In an attempt to push these thoughts far away, Liam made sure to pull up every sort of proof and article on the internet, trying very hard to ignore whatever his fans were saying on twitter, because he didn’t even want to know yet whether any of them had already gotten close to guessing the truth or something, you never knew with them.

There was more than just this one snapchat video, posted by someone Liam didn’t know personally but who was definitely in the business as well and who had clearly not exposed Niall and Liam on purpose, also not in the second video, which was a lot shorter but sadly had captured Liam’s tattoos more clearly and also had been taken a good few minutes later. Where they had still been snogging, making it pretty much impossible to one, deny that it had been Liam to begin with or two, pretend that it had just been a chick peck, especially since they had left so quickly afterwards, alone, with possible clear intentions. Thank god the windows of the car had been tainted.

Liam had no idea how to react now or what to do, he wasn’t sure who he should have been most angry with, himself for being so careless or with the media for ONCE AGAIN ending the article on a note that made him come off as being desperate and lonely and open to have sex with his own fans. And why was it still worth mentioning that he liked guys as well, wasn’t the video of him having his tongue down Niall’s throat clear enough?! Jesus Christ.

Half an hour or more passed of Liam just sitting there and scrolling through every article and comment, still ignoring every call and text message he got because he needed to discuss this with Niall first, he couldn’t just decide what to do on his own. Sadly enough, though you would think that Liam knew how to react in a situation like this, he felt just as clueless as Niall probably was, hell, never in a million years would he have thought he’d ever have to worry about getting caught snogging his secret fuck buddy. Who the hell got in a situation like this anyways?!

It wasn’t on purpose that Liam took a look at Niall’s phone, he just got really fed up with just sitting there and his head almost exploding, so he started to collect their clothes that were still lying around from last night, his stomach feeling a bit hotter at the remaining memory, accidentally causing the blonde’s phone to fall out of his jeans and onto the carpet. Well, and when Liam went to pick it back up, he maybe was just a little bit surprised by the fact that Niall had only gotten one single message related to the incident last night.

 

Harry 11:01 am  
_I KNEW IT! tell me everything ni i cant believe you went to LOS ANGELES WITHOUT ME YOU LIAR_

 

Well, at least someone whose biggest concern wasn’t the fact that Niall and Liam had been snogging while being surrounded by hundreds of people, though Liam could imagine that Niall was gonna have a hell of a time with Harry as well. Actually… they had no choice now but to tell Louis and Harry everything, and just the thought of it had Liam giving up on cleaning up, trying to hold back his tears as he went to sit on the bed again, phone clenched in his fist. He was fine, absolutely, he got this, this had been bound to happen anyways… right?

When Niall finally started stirring, Liam almost felt embarrassingly relieved but also quite scared about having to tell the boy, his heart beating unnaturally fast as he watched Niall yawning loudly, his hair a great mess as he rubbed his eyes before slowly blinking them open, needing a while before he could actually speak up and concentrate on Liam’s face. And to make this all even worse, he fucking _smiled_ all sleepily and groggy. “Hey…. Happy new year.”

“I…. yeah, I…. happy new year… “ Liam was so taken off guard for a second, he couldn’t even form a clear sentence in his head, just staring dumbly at Niall while the boy stretched and yawned, almost looking too cozy In Liam’s sheets as to interrupt his clearly good morning with the truth. Well, had none of this happened, Liam was pretty sure that he would have felt pretty amazing as well, happy that Niall was here with him, that they got to wake up in the same bed after sleeping in, with no thoughts of having to say goodbye soon. But sadly, it _had_ happened. “So, um… how’d you sleep?”

“Really good. I can’t believe all the beds you get to sleep in are this amazing, Li, that shouldn’t be allowed.” He laughed, a bit throaty and deeper than normally and Liam had to swallow, twisting his phone in his hands as he nodded along, trying to wait for the right moment instead of just getting it over with and blurting it out. “And the party was really cool too, like really, thank you so much for taking me, although…. I did like the after party a little bit better. Or a lot.”

Niall’s grin was very cocky, he had managed to sit up by now, still looking half asleep though, the blanket pooling in his lap, but his naked upper body was completely exposed as none of them had put on any clothes last night. Well, Niall had never even gotten out of bed again, he had simply slept in underneath Liam like that, not having wanted him to move, but the brunette had gotten up after a while to clean them both up, making sure they were both tucked in so they wouldn’t get cold or anything. All of that seemed pretty much forgotten by now though. “Yeah, I… me too.”

“What’s wrong?” Of course Niall noticed immediately, Liam wasn’t the best actor after all, he didn’t even dare anymore to look at the boy, especially not anymore after his voice had changed all of a sudden, sounding not so cheerful anymore. Great, now Liam had ruined it already without even saying anything. “I… did anything happen like, or… I don’t know, because of last night? You seem a bit… “

“Yeah, no, I… I mean, yeah, something did happen, but, umm… it’s just that, at the party, when… when we…. kissed… “ Why was that so hard for Liam to get out? Maybe because it had been so untypical for them, to kiss in public like that, so… so _intimate_ and so randomly, but it’s not like Liam had any time really to think about the why because he was much more focused on how the fuck they’d deal with the consequences. 

“Oh. I mean, I…. I’m sorry, if I shouldn’t have, but you kissed me back and I-“

“No, no, that’s not… that’s not what I mean, but… “ Shit, this was too hard, Liam was way too scared of Niall’s reaction, that it’d turn out to be as bad as he feared, he was still twisting his phone in his hands, trying to think of the right words when he realized that he would never be able to say it anyways, especially not when he felt Niall’s eyes on him like that. “Just… read this.”

“What?” The blonde was clearly confused, but he did take Liam’s phone after the brunette had unlocked it, still with the same article open, his expression nothing besides surprised as he started reading while the older man couldn’t help but stare, noticing every tiny bit of change in the boy’s face. His first reaction wasn’t quite as bad as he had feared though. “Oh…. ”

“Yeah… “ Was all Liam replied, quietly, waiting as Niall continued to read the rest of the article, furrowing his eyebrows a bit, but he did stay confused and surprised for the most part, not as if he was gonna grab his bags and run out of Liam’s house in a second. But you never knew after all, Liam didn’t know whether his heart had ever been beating so fast as he waited for Niall to finish and say something, he literally felt so sick to his stomach that he should have been embarrassed about it, it’s just… what if Niall wanted nothing to do with this anymore? He had said that he would be able to deal with these kinda things, but that had been when none of them had ever thought that it’d really happen.

“Well…. Shit.” As soon as Niall lowered the phone slowly, Liam made sure to look anywhere but into the blonde’s face, almost breaking his finger as he twisted them into the blanket and waited, for Niall to say anything at all really, because the brunette man had kinda already run out of words. “I… what’re we gonna do?”

It didn’t sound angry or anything of that sort, it just sounded really nervous, which was untypical for Niall, and as Liam finally forced himself to look up and met the boy’s eyes, he realized that the blonde had as little clue as him obviously, but that he was still waiting for Liam to tell him what they were supposed to do in a situation like this, because obviously, Liam should have known, right? Sadly, he had to disappoint the blonde there. “I… I don’t know, I… I’ve been getting calls all morning and… I don’t know what to tell them… “

“They… even wrote about me visiting you twice on tour, I… Harry and Louis…” The mentioning of their names was enough for Liam to nod, although, that wasn’t his biggest concern right now, their best friends were nothing compared to everything else. “Should we… tell them? Like…. the whole truth?”

“If you… want to… Louis called me like 50 times, so… “ And he probably still would have been had Liam not turned his phone into flight mode, not trying to stop the younger boy as he went on a search for his own phone, pretending like he hadn’t already seen the message he had gotten from Harry that almost had Niall laughing in relief. Well, for a second at least, probably right before he realized that it didn’t matter, that Harry and Louis could act all cool about it but it wouldn’t change the fact that the whole world knew anyways.

“Harry isn’t mad… I think, I just… Liam, say something, what… what’re we gonna do?” This time, he almost sounded desperate and the older man looked up just to find Niall staring at him once more, with big blue eyes, as if he was really relying on Liam to suggest the right thing now. But how could he have done that? 

“I don’t know either, I’ve never… gotten into a situation like this, okay? I just… we should have been more careful and… I don’t know, it was bound to happen anyways, just… I was trying to make sure no one finds out who you are, I never ever considered that… that we’d get caught _kissing_ , like… and now the next time you step outside anywhere you could be associated with me they’ll know. Next time they see you with me, everyone will know who you are.” Worse than that, everyone will forever know that THIS was the boy Liam had kissed at that party, they couldn’t simply pretend to be friends now, could they? They could have before, nothing was weird about Liam having friends coming to visit on tour, but as soon as it went into _this_ kinda direction, everyone was all over it, of course. “You saw how they write about me, like… the last two sentences. And… remember what I told you, after Louis invited you to my concert? That they’re all over this all the time? How I’m never dating anyone and so on? This was exactly what everyone’s been waiting for, me having some stupid scandal or whatever. They…. they won’t just let it go so easily.”

“Okay, so…. so realistically, what can we do? Like, we’ll have to tell Louis and Harry and then… can you just, like, not say anything at all? Just wait, maybe? Until it somewhat passes?” Niall sounded hopeful, and as if he was really trying to come up with a solution, but sadly, there wasn’t a solution and though maybe the blonde wasn’t fully aware of it because he didn’t know of the dimensions this could take, he would soon find out.

“I don’t know, I… it’s impossible to predict, like, what’s gonna happen, I… “ So basically, they were fucked, like really. Liam didn’t want to push Niall into the spotlight like that, and though it took a whole bunch of courage he didn’t even have and his throat started to feel tight, Liam still forced himself to say what he felt like he needed to say, never looking away from Niall’s shoulder as he spoke. Or mumbled, more like. “Look, I mean… it’s not the end of the world for me, it won’t ruin my image to snog someone at a party I’m not dating and who no one knows, I mean, it’s not exactly a good thing either, but…. it isn’t about me anyways, because nothing will change the fact anymore that it happened and that it was me. You however…. nobody knows you, Niall, if you go back to college, then…. I don’t want them to harass you, because they would, if we just pretend to be normal friends then…. I don’t know what conclusions everyone would jump, just… I don’t want you to forever having to deal with this, you know? That’s all I’m saying, I-“

“I’m not…. gonna end our friendship though, if that’s what you’re thinking, Liam, that’s fucking stupid, you know that, right? I told you I don’t care and I didn’t change my mind. We can just be more careful, I can hide my face better and make sure we don’t get seen together, I mean, I… I don’t know how bad that’s gonna make you look, but… you don’t have to keep me safe or whatever, just… tell me what we should do and we’ll do it.” Though Liam knew it was wrong, relief spread in his chest before Niall had even finished, his throat feeling a little less tight as the blonde continued, his voice a lot firmer now, as if he really did mean it, as if nothing Liam could have said would change his mind. But that didn’t mean that the brunette shouldn’t have tried. 

“Niall, you…. you really don’t have to do that, I… we don’t have to like… immediately end our friendship, I just meant that maybe-“

Before Liam could think of something smart to say, still while avoiding the younger boy’s eyes, he got promptly shut up in the least expected way possible. Niall had simply leaned forward to kiss him, cutting off his protest, hand cupping the back of Liam’s head and at first the brunette tried to resist, but the push of Niall’s lips against his was way too good as to simply pull away. Sadly though, Niall didn’t kiss him for very long, Liam had to suppress a whine when the blonde pulled back just a minute later, his hand staying in place though, forehead pressed against Liam’s. Well, and then he kinda shifted the whole picture a little bit. Or a lot. “Well, if you don’t have any other idea that isn’t stupid as hell then… date me.”

“I- _what_?!” Now it was Liam’s turn to pull away, all of a sudden, eyes opening wide as he stared at the blonde, who seemed all calm and relaxed, as if he suggested these kinda things every day, but… what the fuck?! Had he just _really_ said that?! “What… what do you mean, Niall, I-“

“I mean exactly that. Fake date me. It’d solve all problems, wouldn’t it? They’ve been waiting for you to have a relationship, you said so yourself. And they won’t let go of it and I don’t wanna hide at college and never see you again, so… if we’d pretend we’re together, no one can say anything about you kissing me, now could they? No one could try to make you look bad either, you would have simply been trying to have a little privacy with your boyfriend.” Niall genuinely started to _smile_ during the last part while Liam’s mouth was just dropped open, his brain somehow not working correctly anymore. Had Niall…. gone insane? 

“Niall, we…. we can’t do that.” Liam finally concluded, trying to ignore how close they were sitting, how the blanket was only barely covering Niall now even though he was still naked, not seeming to be the least discouraged though. He couldn’t be fucking serious.

“Why not?” Cocking his head a bit, Niall seemed to genuinely wanting to know, as if it was _that_ easy, as if…. But honestly, had he just really suggested they could fake date just so he wouldn’t have to end his friendship with Liam?!

“Because…. because we can’t just… people would know, I…. you’d have to, I don’t know, like…. imagine at college, everyone would ask and the media would be all over it and… “ Well, there was something Liam didn’t really wanna have to mention right now as his face already felt really, really hot, but he kinda had no choice anyways, not if he wanted to talk Niall out of this. This was a ridiculous idea after all, wasn’t it? So why exactly was he secretly considering it? “You…. you couldn’t ever like… I mean…. hook up with…. with anybody else and… everything you do, you’d have to be careful because anybody might see and… we’d have to _always_ act like a couple whenever we’re seen together, I… this is a lot more complicated than it seems, Niall.”

“Doesn’t sound complicated to me at all though. I mean…. I haven’t really been with anybody for a few weeks anyways, you can ask Harry, he was very pleased to find out that I didn’t hook up with anyone the last few times we went out. And I can keep it in my pants, it’s not like that, if we’d do this, people would expect to see me a lot, right? Then I’d have you for all these things anyways.” How could he be smirking like this? In a situation like this? It was almost like this wasn’t even about them trying to find a solution anymore, but Liam had no time to really think about this because his head was still spinning from what the blonde had said. Had he really not hooked up with anybody for a while? Liam had always tried to kinda not think about who else the blonde was sleeping with at the same time as he was sleeping with Liam, not that he was scared of…. getting a disease or anything, but he had never quite liked the thought of it. And who would, right? It had nothing to do with jealousy at all.

“Okay, but…. this still isn’t… a good idea, like…. I mean, would you really, um… do this just so…. just so we can keep seeing each other?” Though it was more than just embarrassing, Liam just felt the need to ask, because he couldn’t believe any of this, was this really NIALL who had offered this? The Niall who had said he didn’t like relationships, didn’t like having to stay with only one person, didn’t like commitments? And yet here he was, naked, in Liam’s bed, sitting way too close, his hair a mess and yet he was somewhat in a good mood all of a sudden, almost as if he was enjoying this or something.

“Yeah. I mean…. you’re pretty much, like… the only good friend I have besides Harry and I like when we… fuck, and that we can do whatever else together at the same time. And anyways, I wouldn’t just leave you by yourself to try and solve this, I’m involved as well and if that’s what’d solve the problem then I think we should do that.” See, it sounded so fucking simple out of his mouth, he barely even hesitated before admitting what Liam meant to him and yet the brunette man felt his heart skipping, staring at the blonde as if he was an alien or something. Who would have ever thought that they’d ever get to a point like this, honestly? This was fucking insane. 

“And who’d we tell, like… I mean, we’d obviously have to tell Louis and Harry the truth, but… what about your dad and your brother for example? I don’t know, I can’t even imagine… what my mum would say if I told her I’m fake dating you, I… I mean…. what if anybody would ever find out, or… “ All hell would break lose if that happened, although Liam wasn’t sure how that’d happen, if Niall would really play along they could probably make this work, as crazy as it sounded, but… it wouldn’t be a very responsible thing to do at all, especially not for Liam. “I mean…. what if we ever, I don’t know, I mean… what if any of us is ever… in a _real_ relationship?”

“Then we just _break up_ and remain normal friends, where’s the big deal, don’t all celebrities break up with their partners all the time?” Yeah, he was right there, it sounded so easy out of Niall’s mouth that Liam wanted to agree, honestly, he was so close to giving in right now, they’d never have to hide again, Niall could always come visit him whenever he wanted, they wouldn’t ever have to be scared of anybody finding out, not even their friends or family. Plus of course, it would keep Liam from being seen as either desperate and lonely or as a playboy hooking up with groupies. Just for once, the media could have shut up about him never dating anybody. “And regarding who we’d tell, neither my brother nor my parents know who you are and they certainly won’t start getting interested in celebrities now or reading any gossip magazines, like… yeah, we’d have to tell Louis and Harry the truth I suppose, and I don’t know your parents, but… I don’t know what they’d think of… the truth.”

“Yeah, I…. I don’t know, I just… it’d probably work out somehow, but… but we still can’t do that, Niall, I… you’d forever be associated with me.” Well, not _forever_ , but… Liam would still always have to feel guilty for having done this to Niall, or at least, for a very long time. “All my other friends, or most of them… the fans know them, they stalk them on twitter and instagram and want selfies with them, and those are _just_ my friends, you know, whereas you…. you’d be the number one target right after me. And then of course, you’d have to consider that… not everybody will be happy about this and then maybe they’d send you hate or… I don’t know.”

“But it can’t be that bad though, I don’t even use any of my social media and I’m pretty sure I can deal with a few people on campus knowing, I don’t know what could be so bad about it, like honestly, it’s not like I’m becoming a celebrity, it’s just your fans who will know me and whenever I’m with you.” Also very true, maybe not quite, but… how would Liam have known what was going to happen, yeah, he had been dating someone while being famous, but… no one had appeared to be that interested into his love life back then as now.

“I don’t know, Niall… I need to think about it, like… maybe the hype will die down after all, like… I didn’t really plan on us going anywhere for as long as you’re here and then… I mean, afterwards you’ll have to be at college anyways and stuff, maybe no one will talk about it anymore after a while, I’ll just tell my publicist to not give any comment and then… we’ll see what happens.” Somehow it was stupid, to KNOW that the next time Niall got caught anywhere associated with Liam that people would know it was him, they’d try to get his face this time, and the blonde wasn’t very… trained in hiding, so Liam was slightly worried. It was really stupid, but Liam couldn’t just agree to this, like, it was a HUGE thing after all. “I’m not saying that…. that I don’t want to see you anymore for a long time after your break is over, I just meant that… that maybe we should wait for a little bit, I mean… we can still always… decide to fake date, right?”

“Yeah, I guess… “ Niall almost sounded disappointed, but he was really good at keeping his facial expression straight so Liam wasn’t quite sure, he did feel really bad about all of this, but… what else were they supposed to do, they couldn’t fucking decide to fake date within 5 seconds, they needed to wait first of all and make sure to get a clear perspective, wait for the consequences and everything. And at least Liam almost felt stupid now for even considering that Niall would end their friendship right then and there, he seemed to be even more eager to keep this going than anybody else. Really, Liam had no bloody idea why, all he knew was that they hadn’t really come up with any solutions at all that wouldn’t be life changing for either of them. “So… what’re we gonna do then? Tell Harry and Louis, or…. ?”

“Yeah, I…. I’m quickly gonna call my publicist and my manager before that though, they…. they didn’t seem to like this very much and… I’m gonna tell them that I don’t wanna comment on it and… that we’ll… try to wait until the hype died down a little bit… or so.” Liam wasn’t quite sure, couldn’t really think clearly either because Niall seemed so beaten down all of a sudden that he just couldn’t bring himself to get up just yet, his cheeks turning hotter as he reached out for the blonde’s hand, slowly. “Hey, I…. I didn’t mean to, like… I don’t know, upset you or anything, I just… ‘m really scared and… I really don’t wanna lose you, Niall, I just…. I’ve never, um…. been in a situation like this and…. and I don’t really know, how to…. how to handle it, you know.”

“It’s okay, Li, don’t worry. I know this is like, one of the worst scenarios that could have possibly happened, but… I just don’t want you to try and protect me by not asking me to come see you anymore, I don’t know… I know it’s stupid, kind of, and that all of this could ruin your public imagine. Just… I really did mean it, okay? With the fake dating, I mean, I really wouldn’t mind, so… at least consider it, yeah? Just in case people won’t stop talking about it or coming up with weird theories, I don’t know… “ Which they probably would, very soon, and Liam was half scared of that but he also felt his stomach warming just a tiny bit as the younger boy squeezed his hand back, attempting something like a smile that Liam tried to return. How was it even possible that Niall was being so serious about this, and be so…. stuck on the idea that Liam wouldn’t ask him to come see him anymore, as if he was scared they’d never see each other again or anything. As much as Liam hated it, but he was already kinda nervous about them having to part for god knows how long as well, but that still was no reason to say yes to Niall’s idea just yet, that was like…. the emergency plan.

“I will, okay? I… I promise this doesn’t mean we’ll never get to see each other anymore, I mean… we can be really smart about it and no one will even notice… alright?” Yeah, well, Liam wasn’t so sure how this was gonna work because eventually, they would probably wanna leave his house at least at some point, but… he was gonna think about that once he would once again go crazy because he was missing Niall so much. So like… after two days.

“Okay…. “ Niall didn’t sound too excited about this, causing Liam’s heart to drop once more because it was so unlike the boy, he almost opened his mouth again to try and reassure him once more, but he really had no choice but to quickly obey as the blonde suddenly leaned forward to press his lips on top of Liam’s once more.

They were really fucked, weren’t they?

 

\--------------

 

Niall was honestly clueless, for once in his life, he had run out of words to say, something he wouldn’t have thought could happen, especially not in a situation like this, but somehow it had and the feeling of not knowing what was going to happen next or what he was supposed to do was honestly really fucking scary.

It hadn’t seemed like that big of a deal at first, that they had gotten caught snogging at the party, Niall had needed a few moments to realize what exactly that was going to make Liam look like. Even though the blonde probably had no idea of the dimensions of any of this, he knew it had been selfish, almost urging the older man to pretend to date him, just…. the way Liam had talked, it had almost sounded like he was planning on sending Niall back home and never wanting to see him ever again. Well, and maybe it was stupid as fuck, but Niall had panicked inside, though he had tried to not let it show, he was aware that he must have sounded pretty fucking crazy. Even to himself.

No idea what was wrong with Niall, he barely even spent a thought on it either, all he knew was that he was fucking terrified of what could happen. He knew that Liam obviously wouldn’t tell him to not come and see him anymore because he was scared of his own image, no, he was scared of dragging Niall into this, which was even worse. The blonde didn’t fucking care about who would see his face, he would be able to deal with it somehow, right? He didn’t want random people to know who he was, but…. Liam was his friend, more than that, and the thought of them just stopping all of this was honestly one of the worst things Niall could have imagined.

So, yeah, after he had gone showering and put on some new clothes, taking some time so Liam could finish his phone calls, he had slowly walked into the kitchen to meet the brunette there, internally already trying to think of new ways to convince the older man, or to come up with a plan that would at least turn Liam’s slight frown upside down. This was really getting to him, it didn’t take a genius to tell, and the fact that Liam was obviously only trying to think of what was best for Niall here was the most frustrating part. Just because it would have been the best for him, just because it would have been the right thing to do, didn’t mean they needed to do it, right? It’d just cause both of them to suffer and Niall’s plan could have prevented that AND could have saved Liam’s public image.

“Hey…. do you, um… want some breakfast?” It didn’t seem like Niall could have said no really, seeing as Liam had already started, so the blonde nodded as he slowly walked up to the brunette, suddenly feeling really sad that he had been looking forward to this just to have the mood being at a low point now. Whoever had posted that stupid snapchat video, Niall was going to kill him if they ever met.

“Yeah, thanks… need any help?” Liam seemed to know what he was doing, he shook his head before giving the blonde a smile, it didn’t seem too fake but also not as happy as Niall would have hoped. “So…. how’d the phone calls go?”

“Alright, I guess, um…. I mean, I did get yelled at a little bit, but I think that…. that we’ll be fine if we just… wait for a little bit, see what happens.” There it was again, the ‘waiting for a bit’, which could also be equaled with ‘let’s not see each other for a while after this’ and Niall could feel his stomach turning as he sat down on one of the bar stools Liam had in his kitchen, trying his hardest to keep his mouth shut and not start with it again. They still had days together anyways, right? They had tons of time to talk this out anyways, it’d be fine. “Did you already…. talk to Harry?”

“No, not yet. I thought I’d wait until… until you talked to Louis, I don’t really know, like… how much we should tell them. I guess it’s pointless trying to hide it at this point, isn’t it?” Especially if Liam would agree to Niall’s plan after all, which didn’t seem to be the case now but their best friends still had visual proof of Niall and Liam making out and of Niall secretly visiting the older one in Los Angeles. Which honestly… seemed pretty fucking crazy thinking about this now, seeing how little they had known each other back then, but Niall was never going to regret doing that, far from it.

“I suppose yeah… should we just… ask them to come over? Or we could… skype them, I guess, if Louis isn’t already on the way here, I wouldn’t be surprised.” The brunette man let out a quick laugh, almost causing Niall to join had he not known that it had probably been fake and forced anyways. 

“Well… I suppose the only good thing about this is that now we can finally force them to tell us what’s going on between them.” Probably nothing at all, maybe a kiss or something, but the longer Niall had thought about Harry and Louis, the more obvious did it get that these two were going to have a one hundred percent easier time than him and Liam. Which was really sad considering the fact that they obviously had a thing for each other yet Niall and Liam were just friends and they had been in bed together more times than Niall could have counted by now. “But yeah… let’s try to skype them, I guess it’d be a bit more…. bearable.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that actually… “ Liam was probably right, it’s not that Niall felt bad or anything for not having told Harry the truth, or scared that his best friend would get mad, or already was, he was a lot more concerned with the fact that he was never ever going to hear the end of this, which really, would be the only reason that spoke against fake dating Liam. Not that it’d ever come to it anyways, not now that the older man had had so many worries about it. 

Niall didn’t answer after that, he just settled for looking around the room before his eyes got stuck on Liam’s back, watching him making breakfast for a few moments, not quite knowing how to feel about all of this. It had been so unexpected really, how had they been supposed to prepare for this? Sure, kissing Liam like that with other people watching hadn’t been a good idea to begin with, there was no denying that, however, Niall hadn’t really been thinking about that last night, hadn’t really been aware of anybody except for the brunette man anyways and the fact that he had _really_ wanted to kiss him. 

Once Liam was done with whatever he had been making, he came back to where Niall was sitting, who was now pretending that he hadn’t been watching intently, smiling a bit when the blonde’s stomach growled slightly at the sight of the food. Not his fault, he hadn’t eaten in what seemed like days. “I take it you want the bigger portion.”

“I mean… if you’re not that hungry… “ Shrugging, Niall smirked when Liam did indeed give him the plate with more food on without hesitating, not sitting down just yet though. 

“Do you want… tea, coffee? I don’t know, I have pretty much everything.” Which the size of his kitchen would suggest, Niall had some real trouble keeping it together and not digging in just yet, feeling a little bit bad that Liam was doing everything, he could have easily gotten himself something to drink as well.

“Tea, but I can do it myself, I-“

“No, no, that’s fine, don’t worry, I’m already standing anyways.” Well, he had been all along, but Niall quickly gave up his protest anyways, thanking the older man as he went to get them both two mugs, trying not to be too aware of the smell of the food right in front of him. Once he had gotten something to eat, the whole situation was going to look a whole brighter for sure. “You can start eating, you know, not that it gets cold or anything, I’ll be there in a second.”

“I… alright. Thank you.” Though Niall somehow felt slightly dumb, which was pretty unusual for him as well seeing as he would have simply started eating without waiting had he been with anybody else, he wasn’t really able to resist now, immediately shoveling food into his mouth, kinda glad that Liam had his back turned towards him once more, not even bothering to swallow though as he somehow felt the urge to praise the older man. He had been doing this all by himself after all, without even having to. “This is really good, Liam, you can cook for me any day if you want.”

“We’ll see about that. But… I can do it for the next few days if you want. Provided… provided we don’t run out of food, because then we’d have to go grocery shopping and… “ Right, they weren’t supposed to be in public together, Niall quickly filled his mouth once more, pretending that Liam hadn’t just said that. 

“There’s always the McDonald’s drive through.” They’d be able to do that, right? It’s not like they needed to stay inside 24/7, they just couldn’t go anywhere where there was a chance of a crowd forming. Or at least that’s what Niall was hoping for silently. “I mean… now that you’re not on tour anymore, I can introduce you to my college diet consisting of what Harry likes to call trash food.”

“As much as I’d love to, but… sadly, I still have interviews left, and a few things I gotta attend, and my video shoot. But we can still go to McDonald’s though if you want, one time won’t hurt, right?” There was a smile on his face once he returned with tea for both of them, his eyes crinkling up a bit when he realized that Niall was already half done with his breakfast, not commenting on it though as he sat down. 

“Thank you. I… I can do the dishes afterwards if you want.” Really, Niall NEVER did the dishes, so he was a bit surprised with himself by how little he cared offering this, although Liam was immediately shaking his head anyways, his mood still seeming somewhat happy. So either he was faking it or he was pretending that they weren’t ignoring whatever had happened, because Niall had decided to go for the second, at least until they had to call their best friends.

“No, it’s fine, I have a dishwasher anyways and it’s only… two plates. And the pan, but… it’ll only take two minutes, unless you really wanna do it, you know.” His smirk made it very obvious that he knew how much Niall hated doing the dishes, which was probably because the blonde boy was obviously lazy if it came to these things. Also, he was a pretty typical college student as well, or at least the impersonation of the bias, so it wasn’t very hard to guess. 

“Not really, but… I would, because it’s really good and you didn’t have to make anything at all. I am kind of jealous of your dishwasher though… “ The sad truth, though Niall pretended that he was joking, slowing down with the eating now, just so he wouldn’t be done too soon seeing as Liam had only just started. Knowing him, he would have probably offered the boy his almost whole portion as well afterwards.

“Do you not have one at your dorm?” He didn’t seem too surprised as the blonde shook his head, almost pulling a face as he was suddenly reminded of how many dirty plates and glasses he had on campus, and then of course, all the things he should have washed a while ago already. It was just so hard to find motivation for that. 

“Nope. But you know… sometimes when I’m really lazy, I put the dishes with me in the shower and then they get somewhat clean as well. Or at least cleaner than they were before.” Sadly, that was the truth, but it still caused Liam’s hand to stop in the movement, his body kinda freezing a little bit as he stared at the younger boy, maybe waiting for him to tell him that it had been a joke, but… it hadn’t been at all. 

“Are you… are you being serious? That’s… really gross, Niall.” As he pulled a face, the blonde couldn’t help but laugh, not really understanding what was so bad about it though, it’s not like anybody used his plates and cutlery except for himself and Harry. And the younger boy really didn’t need to know that, did he?

“You’d do the same if you always had to do everything by hand. It’s kinda bearable for a little bit but after a while you just get fed up with it. I thought about buying paper plates once… but they’d get way too expensive after a while, so now I’m just getting take away whenever I’m too lazy to clean anything.” Although that was expensive as well, Niall would have run out of options otherwise, and it’s not like he was that good at cooking anyways, so… 

“Still, it is kinda gross. Now at least I would have known what to get you for Christmas.” It actually sounded quite serious and though Niall could have needed a dishwasher to make his life easier, he laughed at the idea anyways, putting his fork down now as he had finished his plate. 

“That’s okay, I’m gonna live, no worries.” He had managed to somehow survive before knowing Liam as well, even though now he seemed to have even less time to do random things like cleaning or doing the dishes, maybe that was just an excuse after all, so he could be even lazier than he already was to begin with. “Actually, now that you’re saying that… I was gonna buy you something for Christmas but… I couldn’t think of anything you’d wanna have that I could actually afford. I could have gotten you a hoodie with the name of my university logo on, as souvenir, but… good thing I didn’t, would have been a bit obvious, wouldn’t it?”

“A little bit, yeah… but it’s fine, Ni, I’d never expect you to get me anything anyways, so don’t bother to come up with something, I’m much happier if you save your money and… don’t starve for me or anything.” Liam did seem a little bit touched by that though and normally Niall would have laughed it off, but instead he looked down, feeling a bit strange over being the one doing that, usually it was Liam who blushed and everything, which Niall didn’t do, just for the record, but he still felt the urge to lower his eyes under Liam’s stare. “I was actually thinking of buying you a new laptop, but I didn’t know which one you wanted and I thought I could still do it when you’re here, so if you-“

“No, no, Liam, I… thank you, really, but that’d be way too much. The phone was too much already and… my laptop’s working fine anyways, I love it, actually.” Not that much, but wasn’t this man unbelievable? Niall had almost choked on his tea when he had heard that, like… he couldn’t keep accepting these kinda expensive gifts, it’d make him feel bad and guilty instead of happy to be honest.

“Well, if it ever breaks though… just let me know. Or if anything else breaks, you know.” The fact that he sounded all serious about it was maybe the worst part, Niall knew that Liam wouldn’t hesitate to do anything he could if he ever needed anything at all, but… being reminded of it almost caused his throat to go a bit tight, causing him to wait a bit too long with his response. “Are you done? You can have the rest of mine as well if you want, I’m not that hungry anymore anyways.”

“I-“

Before Niall could really come up with any kind of protest, Liam had already switched their plates, just like that, making it a bit too tempting to resist, so Niall made sure to thank him, smiling a bit too much and too stupidly, but not being able to stop himself though. Just… Liam was so sweet to him all the fucking time, how was the blonde supposed to not feel all giddy and happy? Plus, in the lights of recent events, it was really nice knowing that they could still be like this, talk about anything at all while having breakfast, being able to move past this for now and not letting it ruin their mood entirely.

 

¬-----------------

 

“I’m not sure anymore if it’s been that good of an idea after all… “ Liam sounded slightly worried as he rearranged the laptop on his coffee table before turning it on, throwing a glance down at his phone that still showed Louis’ very short message consisting of ‘Ok.’ telling him it’d be alright if they talked on skype in ten minutes. Niall could only guess how pissed off Louis was, a lot more than Harry probably seeing as he had only texted Niall another time after he hadn’t answered the first message, which was about 70 times less than Louis. Well, to be fair, Louis had an idea about the business, he was probably more aware than Niall and Harry what kinda consequences this could have, so naturally, he was probably more upset as well. Or, like Liam had suggested, he was just eager to find out whether he’d be able to tease him until the end of his life.

“But we have to now, I… it can’t be that bad, right? Like, we could just close your laptop if it escalates, if they’d come here they’d never leave again and then we’d have to hear dumb jokes for the rest of the day.” Niall made sure not to sit too close to Liam once the brunette had sat back a little, still busy with his laptop so he hopefully didn’t notice, it was just to be on the safe side anyways, normally the blonde wouldn’t have minded if all their limbs had overlapped. That alone should have been a lot more worrying to him than what they were about to do honestly.

“Yeah, I guess, I… let’s just get it over with, like… it’s not like it’s any of their business anyways. They’ll probably not agree with that, but… it’s kinda true.” Kind of, although Niall wasn’t sure if Harry even knew what these kind words meant so there was that.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll just start asking them embarrassing questions about what’s going on between them in return, okay? Like in New York, that worked pretty well, didn’t it?” Niall wasn’t as confident as he tried to pretend to be, but Liam still returned his smile a little bit, the tension going through his body still quite obvious though as he sat back right after hitting the call button, waiting for Louis to pick up.

“Yeah, I… I hope we can just get it over with… “ Was the very last thing Liam brought out, releasing a breath in the same second that Louis picked up the call, Niall’s heart suddenly bumping unnaturally fast, the whole situation somehow feeling really surreal, the fact that he was here in Liam’s living room, skyping Harry, who was at Louis’ place, in order to tell him that he had been lying to him about being Liam’s fuck buddy. It seemed fucking ages ago now that Niall had woken up in that hotel room, without a clue who Liam was, being angry about not having agreed to him paying the taxi.

As soon as the screen went on, Niall tried to keep a relaxed expression on his face, tried to seem natural and calm, even if Liam was kinda messing it up with how clearly nervous he was, but at least it was just a video chat, so Louis and Harry would be unable to read their faces immediately. Right?

It was almost a bit funny, how none of them talked the first few seconds of the camera working, Niall just stared at Harry, sitting next to Louis in what the blonde assumed was the older’s living room or something, none of them looking extremely mad or as if they were gonna try to strangle them through the screen or anything. That was a beginning at least.

“So… “ Liam finally started after it was getting embarrassing, his voice sounding a bit quiet and hoarse, Niall almost elbowed him into the ribs but decided to hold back, somehow feeling like he shouldn’t attempt too many movements that would get the attention on him, as dumb as that sounded, and as mean as it was seeing as Liam was close to choking on his words. “I guess we…. we should tell you guys, um… a few things, or… or at least, like… explain what happened or so… “

“Well, it’d be nice if you did after ignoring my messages and calls the whole morning long, but you know, totally up to you.” Even through a computer screen, Louis managed to sound really sarcastic and mocking, causing Niall and Liam to throw a look at each other that they probably shouldn’t have, but…. it’s not like this could have gotten any worse now. “So? Are you just gonna stare at each other or finally tell us about how you’ve been lying to us for months?”

“I mean… it weren’t exactly… _lies_.” Not for Niall anyways, he did see Harry rolling his eyes though, but it wasn’t hard to tell that his friend was nowhere near mad, he was probably close to bursting to find out the truth actually, it was just who Harry was. Louis on the other hand… well, maybe Liam would have to fear for his life after today. “I mean, like… yeah, I was in LA, but… you never directly asked me what I did during the break, Haz.”

“I guess, but you still told me that you’re just friends who occasionally talk on the phone and text, I mean, I already thought something else was going on when he sent you the phone, but… so, what’s _actually_ going on between you two? That kiss didn’t seem like… “ Harry made some movement with his hand, very clearly indicating what he meant, but Louis still decided to finish the sentence for him anyways.

“Like you’ve been doing it for the first time.” Right, well, even if they hadn’t agreed to tell their friends, Niall and Liam wouldn’t have had much choice anymore anyways, they threw another look at each other and the blonde decided that he was just going to do it, just say it straight out and saving Liam from having to fall unconscious because he was pale as fuck already.

“Alright, I… “ Niall started, playing with his fingers while staring into his lap, somehow desperately trying to talk loud enough so he wouldn’t have to repeat himself. “So, like, I mean…. we _did_ only text at first, but then…. then Liam was kinda bored in LA and he asked me to come see him and I don’t know… we didn’t really plan it, I just kinda…. kinda went with it and then… we, um… we hooked up, again. And then… I don’t know, we kept doing it and… I don’t know how to put this in a normal way, like… we… we just… “

“You just have sex all the fucking time? You’re fuck buddies?” Neither of them seemed really surprised actually, maybe a little bit when Niall found himself nodding automatically to Louis’ questions, no idea what Liam was doing next to him, or if he was still even there. At least it was out now. “You guys are…. fucking crazy. Like, yeah, I was trying to get you two together, but damn… I never thought this would be the outcome. And why the hell were you making out like horny teenagers at the party? And how often has Niall visited you on tour anyways?”

“Um…. only these two times…” Liam finally brought out, seemingly uncomfortable with these questions, as was Niall, he barely even dared to look at the laptop screen anymore, even if that was kinda unnecessary because the other two could still see him after all. “And we… we just, I don’t know… we weren’t thinking and… look, I mean… it’s my problem anyways, okay? We’re just gonna… wait for the hype to die down… or so… “

“Well, you can wait a few months then because I don’t know what you’ve been reading online, but they’re all on fire. And some of them are actually coming close to the truth, I had to unfollow Niall and Harry on twitter or someone would’ve surely found him and connected the dots within the next few days. You know that if you guys set one step out of this house together then Niall won’t have a minute for himself anymore, right?” Telling them had turned out to be a horrible idea after all, Niall decided, he wanted to tell Louis to shut up because he was clearly only making it worse here, but more, the blonde tried to secretly watch Liam’s expression, terrified now that Louis was right, that it would really take _months_. 

“I know, Louis… just stop, okay? I’m not a fucking idiot, I know all of that, alright? I just… we don’t wanna jump the gun, we’re just gonna wait and see what happens, I told my publicist to deny any comment, it’ll all be fine, yeah?” He didn’t even sound convincing enough to believe that himself, Niall had gone quiet, he really didn’t know anymore what to say, but he did try to not look too sad, the last thing he needed was Harry to comment on his facial expression and maybe come up with stupid theories about Niall being in love with Liam or some shit because that’s what he seemed to be thinking whenever anything happened. “Just… I’m sorry, alright? And so is Niall. We’re sorry for lying to you, but… I mean, we’re not the only ones hiding something here now are we?”

It was strange that Liam went along with what had originally been Niall’s plan, he sounded almost angry now, far from nervous actually, which was good because Niall was really fed up with this conversation as well, especially when Louis just dared to shrug. “We’re not hiding anything from you guys, me and Harry get along really well, that’s all there is to it, we talked about it and we’ll see what happens, that’s it. And you never really asked about it either, which I know the reason for, but still, I mean… this has nothing to do with what you’ve guys been doing.”

Shit, there went Niall’s plan, he had watched Harry’s face during all of this, searching for signs that Louis was lying but clearly, he wasn’t, and that was even more frustrating than anything else. He was telling the truth and somehow the blonde got really pissed off over this, like, how was that fair? Louis wasn’t really extremely famous and he and Harry could basically do whatever they wanted and they were both crushing on each other and were probably gonna start dating or some shit and Harry would fly out to see him all the time and Niall would have to stay home because him and Liam weren’t allowed to be seen together, this was fucking _bullshit_. “Why do you care about what me and Liam are doing anyways? _You_ were the one who introduced us, _you_ are the one who wanted Liam to go out more and to meet people and to fuck them, and now that he’s doing exactly that you’re acting like _we’re_ crazy?!” 

“Niall-“

“No, I won’t stop, because it’s the truth, Liam! This is so fucking stupid, okay? And now these two will be all sunshine and flowers and Harry’s gonna see Louis fifty times a week and I’m gonna have to stay at college all by myself because my best friend found someone else and because _you_ want us to not see each other for _months_ because you don’t wanna pretend to date me!” This was something Niall should have never said, not in front of the other two, but it just so slipped out and the blonde barely even saw Liam’s face dropping or whatever Louis and Harry were doing because he had already gotten up afterwards, storming out of the room without a real plan on where he was even going.

Niall didn’t even know where all his anger had come from, like yeah he did know _why_ , he just didn’t know why it had gotten his breathing heavy and his heart bumping faster. It’s just… none of this was fair and what Niall had said was the truth after all, how was it fair that Harry and Louis had it so easy and him and Liam were simply friends with benefits and yet it got so complicated? Wasn’t that kinda friendship supposed to be easy? Well, that sure as hell wasn’t the case here.

Since Niall had no idea where he was going, he simply walked back into Liam’s bedroom where he let himself drop onto the mattress, face forward, not moving anymore once he was lying down, trying to somehow calm down. This was so strange behavior for him and it felt weird to be feeling these things, to be this fucking angry and disappointed because of something like this. Then again… Harry and Liam were the only people who were really there for Niall, who he could tell things to, why should he feel alright with one being seconds from having a boyfriend that lived hours away and who he would be with all the time and the other one refusing to see him? Maybe it was more understandable like this, but Niall still felt stupid that he wanted to cry right now, his emotions were literally all over the place and he blamed it on what he had woken up to today, even if that was only half the truth of course. 

The truth was that Niall was actually pretty fucking scared and that he had no fucking idea how to deal with any of this. The truth was that even though he had been pretty much ignoring Liam’s celebrity status, he deeply hated it now. The truth was that even though he never got attached to anybody, he had somehow gotten pretty fucking attached to Liam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope everybody likes where the plot is going! let me know! thank you all so much for so many kudos, i would have never expected that but it really makes the whole writing process a whole lot more fun and i also love talking to you guys! :D  
> also, the number of chapters will probably not stay at 17, just so you know :p
> 
> and since i noticed i probably wont upload before christmas (well ill upload on the 25th i guess but i celebrate christmas on the 24th haha) so MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE hope youre gonna have a good one and get lots of presents :)


	13. Chapter 13

It seemed to take ages until Niall heard Liam coming towards the room, almost feeling like suffocating already because of how long he had had his face pressed into the sheets, still somehow fighting with his tears even though he felt as if he had somewhat calmed down. A little bit at least, he felt mostly embarrassed and like an idiot now, this wasn’t him, Niall _never_ got this upset or sad and he surely wouldn’t have ever thought that this whole situation could get to him like that. Something was truly fucking wrong with him.

“Hey… can I come in?” Liam’s voice was soft, he even knocked on the door though it was open and Niall would have laughed at him had he not been scared that a sob would come out instead.

“’s your own bedroom...” Was all the blonde replied, mumbling it somewhere into the pillow, heart beating a little bit faster at the thought of having to talk this out with Liam now, having to hear what the others had said once Niall had stormed out of the room like a fucking 6-year-old.

“Are you okay?” The mattress gave in a tiny bit when Liam sat down on the edge, closer to Niall than the blonde would have thought, almost flinching when he felt an unexpected hand on his back, rubbing up and down a bit before simply remaining there, the warmth of the older man’s palm warming Niall’s skin through the shirt he had on.

“… no.” Though it was embarrassing, Niall went with the truth after some slight hesitation, he had already gotten to a new low anyways, what did it matter now?

“You… you’re not crying, are you?” His voice almost sounded scared actually, almost convincing Niall to lift his head before quickly deciding not to, he was too close to be doing exactly what Liam had asked and he really couldn’t have that. 

“No. I never cry.” A stupid answer considering the fact that Niall had called Liam and sobbed into the phone just a week ago, but he was more trying to convince himself here that he was in fact tough and strong because he _always_ was and something like this shouldn’t have ever even caused him to think about tearing up.

“Okay… “ Though they both knew that Niall’s words had been bullshit, Liam took it just like that, once more rubbing his hand over the younger’s back and Niall actually really hated the fact that he was enjoying it, he didn’t want to be babied by Liam for behaving like an idiot, and yet here he was. “I just want you to know that… no matter what Louis said or whatever, it doesn’t mean that it’s really gonna take months until people will stop talking about it, he was just exaggerating the whole thing. And it also doesn’t mean that we don’t get to see each other anymore, you know that, Niall, right?”

“Yeah… Louis probably thinks I’m a douchebag now though… “ No idea why, but Niall somehow didn’t really believe Liam, maybe he was just trying to calm him down or something.

“No, he doesn’t. I told them about… about what we talked about with the fake dating and… they do agree that it’d solve a lot of problems, almost all of them actually.” Awesome, now Niall was never ever going to look at Louis and Harry again without having to feel embarrassed. “I mean… I’m still not that convinced by it though, I just don’t want to drag you into all of this, with everybody knowing who you are. And maybe I was being a bit dramatic this morning, but… this has never happened to me before and I also don’t know what the best solution would be. All I know is that I want to end our friendship as little as you do, and I also don’t want to go months or weeks without seeing you, so it’s all good, yeah? It’s fine, Niall, you… you’re not gonna lose me or Harry… I promise.”

How pathetic was that? That Liam had to say these things? That Niall had let himself be so fucking vulnerable that now everybody knew exactly what was going on inside of him, he fucking hated that, hated being pitied or having to be promised things. And yet Liam’s words were somehow a bit calming as well, his soft voice really soothing as well combined with the stroking of his hand up and down Niall’s back. “I… I’m sorry for freaking out like that, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just... I don’t know, I know this is childish and… I’m usually not like this, but… “

“I know, Niall, it’s alright, don’t worry about it, yeah? Louis is just… he feels really responsible for all of this, it’s not that he’s mad at me or at you, he just… he is the one who introduced us after all, like you said and… if he hadn’t then we wouldn’t even know each other. And yeah, he’s been trying to get me to meet someone, but… I don’t think he ever thought that… that it’d turn out like this, he… he had something else in mind.” Something they both knew about obviously, even if it was bloody ridiculous, because had Louis really been thinking Niall and Liam were gonna skype them and tell them that they were secretly in love or something?

“He had a relationship in mind.” Not that it was a secret or anything, but Niall just couldn’t bite his tongue, it wasn’t his fault thought, was it? Liam was a grown up, he was the older one for crying out loud, he could do whatever he wanted no matter what plans his best friend might have had.

“Yes. But… it’s not like he isn’t still happy that we… that we’re friends. I mean… maybe you were right, you know, all the times you… you told me that maybe I’d feel better if I just… let lose a little bit. And that’s what Louis has been saying as well, he doesn’t care what we do, he just… he just doesn’t want this to end badly or anything, and neither do I. But… he’s still taking full credit though, like, for bringing us together or whatever, so… I think sadly we won’t escape the teasing after all.” Not like Niall had ever expected that, but at least he had finally calmed down enough to turn onto his back, causing Liam’s hand to drop, their eyes meeting as the younger boy stared up at the brunette, trying not to think about the fact that he should have been more than just embarrassed. 

“Yeah… I wasn’t expecting anything else to be honest, I… did Harry say anything? Like… we barely talked actually.” As much as Niall didn’t feel like calling his best friend right now, he was still starting to feel guilty all of a sudden, mostly because he had behaved like a pussy right after admitting that he had been lying to his best friend and had then proceeded to paint himself as the victim.

“He’s not mad at you, Niall, don’t worry. He took it a lot more lightly than Louis anyways, he just told me to tell you that you should text him back.” Sounded like Harry, they were obviously gonna talk about this once they were alone again, but that could still wait for a few days. Or weeks.

“I should probably text Louis as well and… apologize.” Seemed to be appropriate, though Niall didn’t know just yet what he was gonna say, but he didn’t want to forever be known for throwing a fit and not being able to apologize for his misbehavior, even if he had been right. Party at least. 

“If you want to, he’s not mad at you though, okay? I promise he’s not.” Liam sounded genuine, his eyes were still soft as he looked down at Niall, not touching him though and the blonde wasn’t really sure how to feel about that. “He even asked me if we wanted to hang out today, but… I told them we already had plans and that it’s afternoon already anyways.”

“What kinda plans?” Trying to sound somewhat curious, Niall was just happy about the change of topic, if it had gone after him, he would have just never ever talked about any of this again unless it was absolutely necessary. 

“I don’t know… lying on the couch and watching TV and going to the McDonald’s drive through?” Clearly, Liam was just trying to cheer Niall up now, which was very sweet, his smile seemed pretty real as well and the blonde couldn’t help but return it slightly, already feeling a little bit better. “Unless you really wanna hang out with them, then I could call Louis back and-“

“No, no, your plans sound really good, I think I’ll be able to handle that.” Obviously Liam had just been teasing, he laughed at Niall’s quick answer, shortly touching his hand to the boy’s wrist, squeezing gently. 

“Alright. Let’s just… forget about this all, okay? It doesn’t matter anyways because it’s already done and there’s nothing we can do about it. I told the other two as well, I mean, they will still make their fair share of jokes, but… I think you made it pretty clear that you have no interest in talking about it.” At least something, even though there were surely 100 better ways to handle this other than acting like a whiny child, but Liam was right, all of this was done and there was no real need to talk about it anymore. Even if Niall still hadn’t gotten what he wanted, but at some point he would really have to realize that there was nothing he could do about it, they would just have to wait and see, like Liam had said. “Come on, let’s go watch some TV, I also got Netflix, whatever we feel like.”

“Did you just… invite me to Netflix and chill, Liam?” Waggling his eyebrows a little bit ridiculously, Niall couldn’t help but crack up as he saw Liam’s face, despite the fact that his mood still wasn’t at a high, but it was definitely getting better with every second passing.

“I can’t believe you just really said that, Ni. Your dirty mind is unbelievable, I hope you’re aware of that.” Though there was the hint of a smirk on Liam’s lips, he pretended to be shocked, which quickly changed though as soon as Niall had finally sat up, not really thinking about it as he smacked a kiss against the older’s lips, startling him just a little bit.

“Don’t worry, I’m very aware of it and also of the fact that you’re really enjoying it.” Chuckling, Niall left a kind of frozen Liam sitting on the bed, only stopping once he was in the doorway to turn around, his stomach suddenly turning with excitement and he didn’t even know why. “Come on, or I’m gonna start without you.”

Rolling his eyes, Liam did come after the younger boy with a smile playing around his lips, very not accidentally groping his arse while walking past and really, the only reason why Niall pretended to be mad and swat his hand away was because he wasn’t sure if they’d ever even make it to the couch if they continued like this.

Watching TV with Liam was somehow more fun than it should have been, maybe it was the fact that his couch was so big or that he had so many snacks at home, but mainly Niall just loved that they both liked the same movies and TV shows, that they could absolutely laugh about everything and that neither of them was probably still thinking about today’s events. This was something that could have never happened right after they had met, they could have never been this comfortable around each other, never could have calmed each other down like they had done today and it was so nice to slowly have their friendship growing stronger like that over time.

Most of all, Niall would have never acted this way around anybody else, but with Liam, it felt okay to let his guards down, let him see that he had his weak sides as well, that he needed reassurance once a while and that he wasn’t just the cool, tough guy that always spoke what was on his mind. No, sometimes Niall got insecure as well, just like everybody, and it was nice that he had someone who he wasn’t afraid to sometimes even cry to when he felt bad, not having to have any doubts whether he’d be taken seriously.

About one and a half movies in and Liam’s head having ended up in Niall’s lap, eyes glued to the TV as he was watching intently, the younger boy was forced to interrupt the text messages he had been writing with Harry because he suddenly had one from Louis popping up on the screen. Furrowing his eyebrows a bit, Niall almost told Liam immediately but then decided against it as he opened it, deciding to read through it quickly before showing it to the older man. 

 

Louis 6:34 pm  
_I just wanted to apologize because of before, I know its actually none of my business even though liams my best friend, but I do feel kind of responsible as well. And I just wanna ask you for something and maybe it sounds weird but I suppose that was the reason why I was kinda mad when I found out about what you two have been doing the whole time. Please don’t break his heart, okay? I know youre not dating, I know this is all on a friendship basis and don’t worry, liam didn’t come to me telling me hes secretly in love with you or something (because I would have long killed you if that was the case ;) ), im pretty sure he feels the exact same way about you as you do about him, but still. I don’t want him to get hurt and I don’t want you two to ruin your friendship because of what happened. So sorry again, I shouldn’t have freaked out and I am in fact glad that liam has got you now, youre a really good friend to him and from what harry has told me, youre really glad that you have him too, so thats enough for me as well. (this doesn’t mean you wont get teased by me and harry though so beware horan)_

 

After reading that, Niall was more than just surprised. Of course he knew that Liam wasn’t in love with him, that would’ve been stupid and the brunette man was way too bad at hiding his feelings anyways, so the blonde would have already known about it. He did understand where Louis was coming from though, had probably talked to Harry as well and everybody knew that Liam was the relationship guy and Niall was the complete opposite, so it would make sense that Louis was worried about that. 

It was kinda sweet actually, seeing Louis caring this much about his best friend, actually giving Niall a pretty legit reason for his behavior. It would have been even nicer had Niall had a reason for his own behavior as well though, which he sadly didn’t because he was still trying to push the whole topic into the back of his head.

In the end, Niall didn’t show Liam the message, he just typed out a response before putting his phone away, trying to focus on the movie once more because Liam was laughing about something, his body shaking against Niall’s and the blonde tried not to think about anything else but this right here, not about any theories Louis might have been implying or whether he and Harry were talking about them right now, because Niall was pretty sure that running his fingers through Liam’s hair was a much better activity anyways.

 

\-------------

 

“ _That_ is your car? Are you shitting me, Liam?!” Liam almost stumbled right into the younger boy when Niall dead on stopped on the spot as soon as they entered the garage, obviously not having noticed any of the other cars there yet because, well… yeah, this was definitely Liam’s car. One of them at least.

“Uh, yeah… do you like it?” Chuckling a bit because it was obvious, Liam grinned when Niall shot him a bit of a glare before his eyes got stuck on the car once more, his expression quickly changing back to absolutely blown away though. “If you want to, I’ll let you drive.”

“No way, I can’t, if I crash into anything I’d have to sell my soul to you.” Though it was probably a joke, Niall still made no attempts to take the keys, he just stood there in awe, obviously speechless, something that didn’t happen too often, but had happened quite a bit today actually. 

It was late already, probably 11 pm or something, but they had eaten so many snacks today that none of them had gotten really hungry until now. Usually Liam wouldn’t have allowed himself to lie around on the couch for a whole day and just eat and drink whatever was in his kitchen, watch one movie after another, but having Niall here, and especially after all the stuff that had gone down today, the brunette man hadn’t really worried about it too much. He was on break from touring after all, it’s not like he was gonna immediately put on weight or look out of shape the next day.

To his surprise though, he had barely even had any time to worry anyways, which was all thanks to the blonde boy of course. It was a bit weird, like, after what had happened today, Liam had been secretly thinking about all of Niall’s reactions ever since, how they didn’t fit to what he had been expecting at all, how they had been even heavier than he would have ever thought.

Yeah, Liam had been more than relieved that rather than Niall freaking out and wanting to leave and never talk to him again, he had actually wanted the complete opposite. Of course Liam was still considering the fake dating thing, ever since the blonde had brought it up, but what kept him a lot busier was the fact that Niall seemed to want it this much. And then his little break out while they had been skyping with Harry and Louis, it… hadn’t been like him at all, didn’t really sound like the Niall who had insisted he slept around all the time and never had relationships because he didn’t care about any of these people.

Yet he had been almost crying in Liam’s bed thinking of Harry and Louis becoming a couple and Liam not allowing them to hang out anymore in fear of getting caught. Not that Liam didn’t like the fact that Niall seemed to care this much, just… it had been unexpected, usually he was the emotional and sensitive one, but not Niall, he was tough and cool and yeah, he had been crying after what his dad had done, but… that had been different. Also, it had gotten him a bit worried about the boy once more, it had almost been as if he had admitted to having no one except for Harry and Liam and Liam kinda had known about that already, but… he had never really thought that Niall would care this extremely much about their friendship that he almost had had to cry at the thought of losing the older boy. So naturally, Liam felt even more protective of him now than he already had before sometimes, at one hand happy that the blonde cared this much, on the other… slightly confused and surprised.

Liam had wanted to go after Niall immediately after he had stormed out, but Louis and Harry had kept him in front of the laptop, almost demanding to know what the hell was going on, so the brunette man had been forced to tell them of course, the whole fake dating plan and all that. The fact that even Harry, Niall’s best fucking friend, had been surprised about the blonde acting this way was even more worrying to Liam, but he had pretended not to think about it too much, hadn’t wanted any of the other two to start coming up with weird theories or whatever.

Of course Louis had been hinting a few things, but Liam had been rather successful at ignoring them, because yeah, Niall had been right in a few points after all. Louis had introduced them, he had bugged Liam about going out more and being with people, so now he had no right really to be upset about how it had turned out, right? The look on his face right before Liam had closed his laptop though had promised a longer conversation about all of this though, probably a similar one that Niall would be forced to have with Harry. Funnily enough, though Louis and Harry had pretty much admitted that they both had a thing for each other, no one seemed to be even thinking about talking about that.

Despite all of this, Liam had tried his best to not bring any of this up anymore for today, or the rest of the time Niall was staying with him, he really just wanted to enjoy this, the fact that they had so many days together, not thinking about the why’s and what was gonna happen afterwards. Luckily, it was easy to be distracted when Niall was around, when they were laughing and joking around, neither of them really caring whether they ended up half on top of each other after a while. At least that was something they still had, even after so many emotional talks, they were still able to keep light conversations and just… hang out all day and not really doing anything, like friends do. Plus, it was nice knowing that Niall wasn’t afraid to show emotions after all, it was like he was slowly starting to trust Liam more and more and the brunette couldn’t have been happier about that. After all, he really did care about the blonde. A lot. 

“Do you really not wanna drive?” Liam decided to check one more time because of the look on Niall’s face, but it almost seemed like the blonde really was scared about crashing the car or something. “If you do wreck it then I promise I won’t hold you accountable.”

“No, I… it’s fine, thanks, just… I’m not that good at driving. Haven’t done it in a while.” Right, he obviously didn’t have a car, Liam should have considered that, so he quickly made sure to stop asking, not wanting to force Niall to elaborate this or anything. Plus now he almost felt as if he was bragging or something. “I… wait, you have more cars?! How many… what the hell, Liam?!”

Now that Niall had finally taken a walk around the car, he had quickly realized that Liam’s garage was actually a lot bigger than he had thought, again, the boy stopped mid walk, his mouth dropping open as he stared, giving the brunette enough time to come up with an answer. “Well, I mean…. what can I say, I… I just really like cars.”

“No shit… “ Niall breathed, still not having recovered from that sight obviously and Liam almost started to feel bad, like… maybe the McDonald’s drive through hadn’t been that good of an idea after all. “Do you drive them _all_? Like… “

“Well, yeah, but… I’m not always home and I often have people picking me up, so… “ So really, he had basically told Niall that it was unnecessary for him to have this many cars, and he hadn’t even mentioned the fact that he also had one for when he was in the US, so judging by Niall’s reaction, he was probably going to keep that to himself. 

“Crazy… this is absolutely mad… “ He seemed to be more talking to himself than to Liam, needing a few more seconds before he finally turned around again to face the older man, same shocked expression plastered across his face, even worse than when he had seen Liam’s house for the first time yesterday and that really said something. “I… “

“Are you okay?” Slightly worried, Liam shifted his feet a bit, suddenly afraid that he had now managed to freak the boy out completely or something, but it seemed that that was an impossible thing to happen anyways.

“Yeah, sure, just… I don’t know, whenever we talk, I… you know how I always forget that you’re famous? It’s just… crazy to think about how your life must be like now that I’m seeing all of this. I mean, I won’t forget about who you are anymore now.” At the end, he let out a short laugh, one that Liam wasn’t so sure about how to take.

“Is that… bad?” He honestly didn’t know what Niall meant by that, of course he had known about the zero fucks Niall gave about his career, it had been rather obvious as well whenever he had suggested things that Liam could have never done in a million years because of who he was. So now… he was slightly worried that maybe this was getting to Niall’s head, even if that was stupid, he wasn’t gonna change his mind anymore, right? He wouldn’t have gotten so emotional today if it would have been this easy for him to just break it off.

“No, it’s not, why would it be? Just… I don’t know, maybe I never really… never really realized what all of this really means, not even after you flew me out twice. But I do now, I think… kind of, I mean… and after what happened at the party as well, I kind of get that it’s a bigger deal than I thought now, that’s all I mean.” Nodding to himself, Liam almost expected Niall to go on and keep on talking, half expected him to bring up the fake dating again, but somehow he didn’t, just hesitated for a second before suddenly starting to smile as if nothing had happened. “So, how fast can that thing actually go?”

Though Liam kind of felt the need to keep talking about this, especially because of how Niall had sounded, he decided to drop it when the younger boy walked up to the first car again, somehow managing to sound as excited as ever, as if he hadn’t just needed 10 minutes to take it in. This was something Liam had never really noticed before, in the beginning he had always kinda assumed that Niall was _always_ like this, so bubbly and excited, but it did become more obvious with time that he sometimes wasn’t at all but still trying to come off like it and Liam wasn’t really sure if he should have been worried now or not. Then again, he had been worried this whole day long and Niall probably wasn’t the only one who had come off a little bit weird during the last few hours. “Well, we could go faster if we went outside the city a little bit.”

“Can we do that? But I really need to eat something before that or I’m gonna pass out, I’m already feeling a bit lightheaded.” Niall joked as he went for the passenger side, very obviously not wanting to drive and Liam just chuckled, trying his hardest to not overanalyze any if this. What was the use anyways, right? Plus, they had agreed to spend the day not worrying anymore, which they had succeeded at for the most part and Liam didn’t wanna ruin it now. 

“Sure. And I know, Nialler, I could barely even hear the TV anymore because your stomach was growling so loudly.” Obviously Liam was joking, amused by the fake glare the younger boy threw at him over the car right before Liam got into the driver’s seat, watching the blonde as he got in on the other side, barely daring to even touch anything though. “Niall, it’s fine, it’s just a car, you wouldn’t believe what Louis has been doing in here.”

“But… it’s so clean and nice and everything, I don’t wanna, I don’t know, make it dirty or anything. And it smells really good too, how do you do that?” Niall even made sure to close the door as carefully as possible, eyes wide as he inspected the inside of the car, making Liam smile a little bit as he watched him touching the leather seat as if it was made of glass or something. 

“I mean… besides the fact that I don’t drive it too often, I also have it… cleaned, so… “ Right, maybe that hadn’t been the best thing to say, but Niall just rolled his eyes anyways, not as if he was annoyed or anything though, his face immediately going back to impressed.

“Of course. Still though… you should send your car cleaner over to clean my dorm or something.” He mumbled while very slowly and carefully putting the seatbelt on as if he would have ripped it out or something had he done it in a normal pace. Somehow Liam couldn’t help but find it a little bit cute, though he would have never said that out loud and his cheeks got hot while thinking about it, but it was true nevertheless. Also, now he was pretty sure again that Niall’s excitement was very much real, getting even bigger once Liam started the car and told Niall he could be in charge of the radio if he wanted to. “Are you sure? I could like… break a button or something, like, I don’t know how much pressure to apply on a radio like this, what if-“

“It’s just a radio, trust me, Ni. It wasn’t even expensive, I promise.” Well, not expensive for Liam, but of course he didn’t add that, chuckling softly when he noticed Niall hesitating before finally getting the courage to actually change the radio channel while the older man opened the garage from the inside of the car, making sure to turn on the heating because they were both only wearing sweatpants and short sleeved shirts as they had only been lying on the couch all day, not having seen a reason to get dressed properly.

“Isn’t that one of your songs?” Since Liam had barely been paying attention to whatever Niall had left on the radio because he was more focused on driving, he was a little bit surprised as the blonde asked that, turning the volume up a bit higher and really, that was indeed one of Liam’s songs. “It’s the one Harry went crazy to, you should’ve seen him, it was ridiculous.”

“Really?” Chuckling, Liam was happier about the fact that Niall had recognized his song other than anything else, he had almost driven the car off of his property now, thinking about how the boy had straight out told him that he hated his music a while ago and now Niall even knew his music videos. “What about you?”

“I didn’t know any of the lyrics, so… I mostly just made fun of Harry with Louis. It’s… a nice song though, pretty catchy.” Having him admit that had Liam smiling a bit more than necessary, but it was dark in the car, so hopefully Niall wasn’t noticing anything, he seemed pretty distracted by pretty much everything inside of Liam’s car anyways. “Do they play all of your songs on the radio? I’m wondering how many times I’ve heard your songs before I’ve known you or… imagine, how many times I’ve probably randomly seen pictures of your or something, that’s a pretty strange thought, isn’t it?”

“I guess so… I mean, they obviously couldn’t have been that impressive though.” Laughing, Liam quickly decided that he wasn’t gonna go to the McDonald’s closest to his house, just in case, not that he ever really went there anyways, but… you never knew who might have recognized him, even if he stayed inside his car. 

“Nah, I’m sure they were fine, I just never really pay attention to these things, you know me.” Liam saw him shrugging from the corner of his eye, normally he would have changed the radio channel and not kept on listening to his own songs, this time, however, the brunette was more than just alright with listening to them, mostly only because he liked the fact that Niall seemed to want to listen to it. Not that it mattered really, he didn’t care if the blonde hated his music, just… he wasn’t exactly mad that Niall liked it. “So, how many of your songs are on the radio? Or wait… are they in the charts as well? You told me you had your first number one because Louis helped you, right?”

The whole car ride was like that somehow, Niall suddenly seemed to be really interested in Liam’s career, not that he hadn’t known anything about it before, but he was asking more details now, listening intently and Liam didn’t mind answering him anything he wanted to know, like if he already knew what his new music video was gonna be about, what all the awards he had had all over his house had been for and even what the worst interview he had ever been in had been like.

Liam wasn’t exactly a hundred percent certain where Niall’s interest was coming from, but he was somehow pretty sure that the blonde was trying to understand all of this a little bit better, maybe understand why Liam was so strictly against the fake dating or something, since he had gotten confronted with all of this today after trying to ignore it. Not that Liam was bothered by it or anything, he was just kinda hoping that Niall wasn’t going to start and try to convince him again because knowing himself… Liam might have actually caved in at some point, seeing as he had been pretty fucking close to it already. But he couldn’t do that, could he? Even Harry and Louis had had their doubts, like, this was a huge deal, not something he could have decided within a few minutes. 

Since the brunette man obviously had no idea what to get at McDonald’s, he decided to let Niall choose for the both of them, not at all surprised when the blonde got way too much for only two people in the end. He did ask whether it’d be alright though, seeing as Liam had already gotten his card out and the brunette had told him that he could get as much as he wanted to if it didn’t mean that Liam would have to sell his house afterwards. So really, he could have bought the whole restaurant. 

They drove a bit further after they had gotten the food, since Niall had wanted to see how fast the car could go, but as soon as he had the bags on his lap to hold, being forced to wait, it became pretty obvious to Liam that the blonde really wanted to do anything besides taking a long drive now when he could have been eating. So instead, Liam randomly decided that it would have been a way better idea to just stop the car and let Niall have what he really wanted, of course only by accident choosing a spot to park the car where they had quite a pretty sight as well, a little uphill. Then again, why would he have chosen an ugly spot?

“What are you doing?” Niall seemed slightly confused as the brunette parked the car and turned it off, turning on the lights inside though so they could finally see each other, the blonde’s facial expression almost making him laugh. “Are you planning on murdering me and throwing my corpse down that hill or something? You could have at least let me enjoy one last meal, you know.”

“You can, that’s why I stopped the car, your stomach’s kinda gave you away again, sorry, Nialler.” Now that the blonde had mentioned all these things though, Liam did lock the car from the inside, just to be sure, there was no one around, no other cars either and it was probably midnight by now anyways, but he was rather safe than sorry. 

“But… we can’t eat in your car, Liam, are you crazy?!” Right, Liam should have seen that coming, hearing the panic in Niall’s voice though was pretty funny, his eyes had gone big and he was staring at the older one as if though he had gone insane.

“Why not? It’s just a car.” Not like Liam couldn’t have cleaned it afterwards, he decided that Niall would probably never be the one to take the first bite though so he simply took the bag containing his own food out of the boy’s lap, trying to proof a point by making sure to pay as little attention as possible while taking his first few bites, the blonde’s eyes getting even wider as he watched. “See? It’s fine, come on.”

“I…. I don’t think I can do this.” Niall sounded pretty serious, as if this was a serious matter of life or death and Liam would have laughed at him had he not had his mouth full of food, not like he needed to impress anyone with manners here, but he didn’t exactly want to gross Niall out either. “I’m gonna clean the whole car later or I’m gonna forever feel bad.”

“Niall, honestly, just eat, I know you’re hungry.” He reached very carefully into his bag while Liam watched, pretty amused by all of this and even more so when the blonde made sure to not have even one tiny crumble go anywhere except for in his mouth, he even chewed so slowly that they would have still beeen sitting here in 10 days if he kept it up. This was more than ridiculous, but it was kinda sweet as well, how concerned and careful Niall acted, as if this was a big deal, as if Liam was driving his car more often than once a week. “You’re such a dork, Nialler.”

“I’m just trying not to ruin your car, Liam, a little bit of appreciation would be nice.” His glare didn’t really have the effect he had probably aimed for because the brunette man just laughed, getting a soft smack in the arm for that, which he barely even felt though as Niall of course hadn’t been attempting to hurt him. “I can’t believe I’m doing this… in _this_ car, I’m gonna have nightmares tonight.”

“Well… then we’ll just have to stay awake I guess.” Really, Liam hadn’t planned for it to come out like this, his cheeks immediately getting hotter as Niall stopped mid chewing to look at him with a raised eyebrow, not giving the older man enough time to talk himself out of it though.

“I see how it is, Liam. And I’m the one with the dirty mind, yeah?” Niall chuckled, shoving his fries a bit quicker into his mouth by now, maybe also because he was distracted. “I think I’m rubbing off on you.”

“I… “ Liam knew it was stupid, to say what he almost had before stopping himself, but his face was already blushed and Niall’s expression was already amused, so he decided to just do it, what did it matter anyways, it was just Niall and knowing the both of them, they’d probably end up having sex tonight regardless. “Wouldn’t… be the first time, would it?”

“I didn’t mean it in the literal sense, Liam!” The blonde pretended to be mad, not succeeding though because after he had been surprised for a second, he started laughing and Liam couldn’t help but join, not really knowing why but maybe it was the fact that Niall’s laughter was the most contagious sound in the whole world. “Anyways, considering the fact that you only seem to be thinking about how to get into my pants, you picked a pretty romantic spot for us to be eating trash food in your two million pounds car, Li.”

“It didn’t cost two million, don’t worry. And… I didn’t really _pick_ it, I was just thinking that… I mean, obviously I didn’t just wanna park on the side of the road and I thought you wouldn’t be complaining about a pretty view while eating.” Shrugging, Liam made sure to get some more food into his mouth, just because he was getting slightly embarrassed, suddenly worrying whether it had been a good idea to stop the car here after all, especially because it suddenly reminded him of a lot of bad movies where couples would have romantic dates on places like this. Then again, these people weren’t famous and weren’t limited to so few choices, so that was a good excuse, right?

“I would have had a pretty nice sight anyways though.” The fact that Niall just said it like that didn’t really have Liam thinking too much about it at first, but when it slowly sunk in what the boy had really meant, casually keeping on eating of course, Liam once again felt himself getting even hotter. Oh.

“I… thanks, I guess…” Not that Niall had never said stuff like this before, he used to all the time actually even before they had been friends, telling Liam how hot and fit he was, but this seemed and felt a little bit different, for some reason Liam couldn’t put his finger on it though. It had always caused his stomach to twist a bit though hearing these kinda things, so maybe it was just twisting a bit harder this time.

“Who said I meant you? Maybe I meant the food.” He was obviously joking, throwing a smile at the older one that didn’t seem very mocking at all though, actually, had Liam had the guts to meet Niall’s eyes for longer than just two seconds, he might have said that the younger boy was blushing as well. Even if that would have been ridiculous, Niall usually never cared about what he said, especially when it came to this kinda stuff, sure, Liam was aware that the blonde boy could stumble over his words as well or turn speechless, had seen a lot of that today, but fact was that Niall was still pretty straight forward.

“Don’t be mean… “ Liam mumbled, trying to sound a little bit hurt, even if he was more busy with trying to play this cool than anything else really, which was harder than expected even considering the fact that he had had tons of practice.

“Sorry, Leemo.” Niall laughed again, quieter this time and while finally eating like he normally did, the older man using the chance that the boy was looking for his fries in his bag in order to stare at him like a fucking creep, almost feeling embarrassed yet again when he caught himself. This was stupid, you’d think that Liam would get over himself after everything that had been going on between them, but somehow, he still managed to make a fool out of himself every fucking time. 

“’s fine… I might forgive you if you never ever use that nickname in front of Louis.” Maybe this was a poor attempt to change the topic, also because Liam was now kinda asking for Niall to do exactly what he had wanted him not to do, but it was the only thing he could think of and also, it’s not like he cared that much after all. Anything to give him a few minutes to try and cool down.

“Why? It’s… cute, I guess, I don’t think he’d even notice, he’s calling you a ton of nicknames as well.” That was very true, also reminded Liam of how Niall had been making fun of it, but he decided to not bring that up again now, kinda hoping that the blonde hadn’t really meant it even back then. 

“Yeah, I suppose, but… you should’ve seen him when he saw what my fans have been calling me… “ Yet again, a _very_ poor choice of topic, but it was way too late to take it back now, even if Liam immediately bit his tongue right after it was out, not even having a second to regret though because of course, Niall had already leaned closer towards him, curiosity written all across his face. Shit. “I…I mean, hey, do you wanna have some of my fries, I-“

“I do, thanks, but I also wanna know what your fans are calling you. Is it really embarrassing? Tell me, I’m gonna find out about it anyways, come on, Li.” The smirk on his face was a bit cheeky, causing the brunette to sigh as he got slightly nervous about thinking of having to actually say it out loud now, like… the longer he considered it, the more embarrassing it seemed to get. “C’mon, I won’t laugh, I promise. Or… I will _try_ not to laugh, so please?!”

“Alright, I… “ He would have found out anyways had he really wanted to, so Liam took a quick breath, keeping his eyes straight out of the window though, watching the city lights as he just blurted out with it because there was no way to make this sound cool or anything that wouldn’t have made Niall laugh anyway. This was still better than having the blonde going off to ask Louis about it himself. “I… well, I… I don’t know how or when it started, but, uh… sometimes they, um… like, they call me bean, but-“

“ _Bean_?” Nice, at least Niall was only giggling and not full on laughing, Liam’s face was on fire though, still refusing to look at the younger boy or elaborating this story any further, he kinda did know where it had come from, but he could save that for a day when he didn’t want the ground to swallow him whole because of how embarrassed he was. Well, at least that was a nice end of the day, with Niall laughing, considering the way their morning had gone. “Awww, that’s really cute. Can I call you that?”

“ _No_?!” Was he insane, that would have been even worse than the other thing, especially if it would slip out in front of Louis, then he was gonna start making fun of Liam _again_ , and after today’s events, he had too many things to make fun of Liam for already. 

“Why not? I think it’s very sweet, actually, see, I’m not even laughing.” Then he hesitated for a second and Liam probably should have guessed it and at least done something like glare at the younger boy, but instead he was taken off guard when the boy added something, his voice sounding as if though he would burst with laughter any second. “… bean.”

Really, there was nothing left for Liam to do but to huff, pretending that he hadn’t even heard Niall, instead keeping on eating as if nothing had happened, knowing that he only had himself to blame anyways. He shouldn’t have started it, now he had to pay the price for it, like, it was still better than these dirty topics that had caused his cheeks to turn pink before though, but still not quite the kinda conversation Liam wanted to have.

“Aw, don’t be mad, Li, I really do think it’s cute. I thought it’d be way worse and a lot naughtier.” Well, Liam was definitely not going to go into _that_ kinda direction because they’d still be sitting there for sunrise, so instead he decided not to answer, still pretending to be mad, somehow hoping that it would cause Niall to not use that nickname ever again. Not that he was bothered by it, just… it didn’t really help with his red cheeks and all. “Are you really gonna ignore me now? I’m sorry, but I really meant it and besides, I’m your fan too, Liam, I should be allowed to call you that as well. I mean… I’m probably more a fan of your cock than your music but I still kinda like listening to your songs, so-“

“Okay, fine, just… not in front of anybody else, yeah?” God, had Liam just really agreed to that? He could barely even believe it, that he would just allow the blonde to call him that because just the thought of it made him sweat a little bit, the grin forming on Niall’s face when he briefly checked his face not really helping with that.

“Thanks, bean.” He was gonna do this all night now, wouldn’t he? And every single time would cause Liam’s stomach to twist a bit and he was going to feel guilty for not hating it half as much as he should have. “Damn, I think I ate too much… “

“That’s possible?” Liam asked, not being able to keep it from sounding just a little bit sarcastic, immediately wanting to take it back though, he wasn’t trying to be mean after all, he was just a little irritated with himself and his inability to choose a non-embarrassing topic. 

“Hey… don’t be a mean bean, Liam.” Right, Liam was just going to shut his mouth for the rest of the night, Niall did a pretty good job at making himself laugh already, hesitating for a second before obviously deciding that it was fine to put the empty bag on the floor by his feat, surprising the older man a little bit, or a lot, by suddenly leaning over and wrapping his arms around Liam’s shoulders out of nowhere, even if the position seemed very much uncomfortable for him. If that alone hadn’t already caused the brunette’s heart to jump a hundred times faster (only because it had been so unexpected), it surely would have after the blonde pressed a pretty smeary kiss to his cheek. Oh. “I’ll stop, sorry… thanks again for the food, Li.” 

“I… you’re welcome.” Was all Liam brought out, not really knowing what to do for a moment, immediately having forgiven the boy though, because frankly, he couldn’t even remember what they had been talking about anymore, not when Niall was this close to him, holding him, his breath hitting the older’s face. Ridiculous, this boy really did have Liam wrapped around his little finger, didn’t he?

“I could make it up to you… if you want.” The thing was, Niall didn’t sound like he was implying anything at all and since Liam was a little bit brain frozen anyways, he mindlessly nodded, turning his head just a little bit because he heard Niall chuckle, not really expecting to feel the blonde’s lips pressed against his just a second later. Not that he was complaining, just… it did seem a little bit like Niall was just trying to take his mind off or something, or maybe trying to say thank you, but then again, he was leaning pretty eagerly into that kiss, so Liam simply decided he didn’t care what the motivation was, since he knew for a fact that Niall loved snogging him anyways. He probably shouldn’t have felt proud about that either.

The boy tasted kind of salty and like fries with ketchup, which was nothing that would have kept Liam from kissing back though, immediately relaxing his jaw when the younger boy’s tongue softly trailed his bottom lip, begging for entrance. Though it had kind of come out of nowhere, they didn’t need more than a few seconds to completely get lost in the kiss, despite the kind of weird position they were in, but Liam did his best to make it easier for Niall, trying to somehow make them meet in the middle so the younger boy wouldn’t have to stretch so much, his fingers having ended up in Liam’s hair, pulling slightly. 

Maybe it should have been a little bit gross, because they had just been eating and everything, but Liam didn’t care one bit, because feeling Niall’s tongue against his, being allowed to grab the younger’s hip and keep him close, not having to care about anyone catching them or having to be quiet was honestly his favorite thing in the whole world. To know that the blonde felt the exact same way only made it better, if that was any possible, because it felt pretty damn amazing already.

It didn’t take long before their kiss got a bit more heated and more desperate, forcing them to sometimes take a quick break, just panting against one another, none of them speaking, their hands touching the other all over, fingers holding on in order to not bring the tiniest bit of distance between them, food long forgotten. Liam knew this was wrong, he knew where this was gonna lead to, in his fucking car, but as soon as Niall’s soft lips were back on his and the boy made his head spin by kissing him this fantastically, he didn’t care one bit anymore.

“Niall… come over here…” Speaking turned out to be harder than expected, Liam already felt dizzy from the lack of air, not wanting Niall to back away though, but rather trying to pull him in a little bit, hating the fact that they were being kept apart because they were in his damn car.

“What?” The blonde seemed a bit confused, his fingers were still scrunched into Liam’s hair, pulling away just a little bit in order to look at the older man, his lips swollen and red, exactly the way Liam liked them the very most. Shit, he couldn’t even go one minute without wanting to kiss this boy.

“Come over here.” Liam repeated, trying to use the chance and catch his breath a little bit before deciding to screw it, pressing his lips back against the younger boy’s before he even had any time to answer. Honestly, Liam didn’t even know what he was planning on doing, he had just kinda blurted out with this, not considering any consequences, but it was always like this with them, once they started making out like this, there was no going back and Liam kind of turned his brain off.

“But…. but the car-“

“Shh. Come on, it’s fine.” Apparently the younger boy was still thinking about not getting Liam’s car dirty even in that moment, luckily though, Liam didn’t care one single bit right now, immediately shutting Niall’s protest down, letting go of him with one hand though to adjust his seat a little bit, impatiently, pushing his bag of food off his lap to create more space without ever stopping to kiss the boy. No idea what it was, but the idea of doing it right here and now in his car somehow turned Liam on more than just a bit embarrassingly much. “C’mon… I got you… “

Niall seemed like he was going to keep up his protest for a moment, but then their eyes met once more and maybe he kinda guessed what Liam’s intentions were because suddenly he gave in immediately, a little bit clumsily climbing over into Liam’s seat as well, making both of them laugh breathlessly because of how long he was taking before finally settling to straddle the older’s lap. Right, this was a whole lot better. “Shit… this is… crazy.”

“Yeah… “ It was, Liam was very well aware of it and he was sure that he was going to question his own behavior as soon as it was over, but whenever they were going at it, he kind of completely stopped caring, not even feeling embarrassed anymore about doing anything and taking the lead, which was good because he had a feeling Niall was enjoying the hell out of it every time they got intimate. “Come here…”

He didn’t have to be told twice, Niall’s parted lips were immediately back against Liam’s, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as the older’s hands settled on Niall’s hips, sighing in relief because of how much easier this position was, and more comfortable as well, how close they were, their crotches rubbing together in the best way possible whenever Niall moved. Shit, this wasn’t going to last only half as long as Liam would have hoped for.

There was no sound other than their heavy breathing and the sound of their lips meeting, Liam loved the way Niall’s weight was pressing him into the seat, not that he was particularly heavy, but he was still a grown 20-year-old, suddenly starting to rock his hips into Liam’s with a bit more purpose, letting the older man feel his already hardening cock, almost causing him to groan in frustration. Why was it such a fucking turn on that they were in a car? Liam had never done this before, had never even thought about that he could ever enjoy all these dirty things that he and Niall were doing all the freaking time and yet he was here initiating it himself, in his mind already having undressed the younger boy even though they had been joking around and eating just a few minutes ago.

“I… how will this… work in here?” Niall seemed slightly more worried than Liam, which was very rare, he barely broke the kiss though, a shiver going through his body as the older man slipped both his hands underneath Niall’s shirt, feeling the soft skin he found there, loving the way Niall arched his body even more into his. “I… I don’t wanna make anything dirty or-“

“But I do.” Liam simply cut him off, making the younger boy chuckle against his lips, then panting as their hips met particularly hard, his fingers pulling almost painfully on the brunette’s hair now, but not in an unpleasant way though, if anything, it turned Liam on even more.

There was no doubt that they could have both just come like this, just by rubbing off against one another, but it certainly wasn’t what either of them wanted because as soon as Liam dropped a hand between them, fumbling with Niall’s sweatpants, the younger boy immediately tried to give him more room, his breathing becoming heavier yet he didn’t break the kiss, lips opened wide as he almost fucked his tongue into Liam’s mouth, making his task a whole lot harder by distracting him like this.

Once Liam had _finally_ gotten Niall’s hard on out of his pants, causing the younger boy to whine against his lips, he wasn’t surprised at all to immediately have the blonde’s hand pushing his away, preventing it from wrapping around his erection but rather trying to get Liam out of his sweatpants as well, needing so long for it, all the while groping the older man, that Liam almost ruined everything right then and there. Almost, because he did manage to hold back, just tried to focus on the way Niall’s tongue felt in his mouth, all hot and wet and smooth, rather than how Niall’s fingers felt against Liam’s aching erection, causing it to bump against his own.

“Shit…” Now it was Liam’s turn to push the younger boy’s hand away, his mouth had slipped down to Niall’s neck, instead having the blonde panting into his ear as he wrapped a fist around the both of them, the feeling alone forcing him to stop for a second, just taking a few breaths with his lips pressed against Niall’s skin before slowly starting to jerk them off together, free hand still bunched into the younger’s shirt for support.

“Liam… “ Niall’s voice was only a broken breath, he was clinging to the older man now, still rocking his hips a bit, maybe unconsciously, chest almost pressed against Liam’s, barely leaving him any room to really move his hand and get them off properly, but just having them touch like this from base to head, rubbing together, their precum mixing and smearing all over Liam’s hand and fingers was enough to make this good and cause them both to sweat. If Niall hadn’t suddenly grabbed a hold of Liam’s wrist and stopped him, they might have not lasted longer than a few more jerks. “Wait, I… I want you inside me… please… “

“I don’t… have anything here…” Finally moving his lips away from Niall’s skin after having created quite a big mark right over where his pulse was, Liam was barely able to look at the younger boy because Niall knocked their foreheads together immediately, trying to catch his breath a little bit before answering, fingers playing with Liam’s hair, softer this time.

“Please… “ He mumbled before tilting his head to press another kiss against Liam’s lips, almost immediately convincing him to do whatever the younger boy might have suggested, like, not that anything could have happened, right? 

Instead of answering, Liam allowed himself to deepen the kiss for a while, more gentle and more slowly this time, his hand still wrapped around the both of them, not moving it though because just the thought of getting to be inside the younger boy, feeling his hot, tight walls around him instead of just his own hand, was a way better thought anyways. All Liam was really scared about was hurting Niall since they had no lube, but then again, they hadn’t had any last night either and Liam’s hand was pretty smeary and sticky already anyways. Well, and of course, he couldn’t have expected what Niall did then.

Once they broke the kiss, the blonde boy didn’t let go of Liam’s wrist but instead made sure to pull his hand up, grabbing a hold of it then while leaning his head back a bit, his eyes locking with Liam’s as the older man just watched, allowing Niall to take control of his hand, breathing increasing a little bit as the blonde simply put two of his fingers into his own mouth, never looking away from the older man as he sucked on them, tongue rubbing against them, tasting himself and Liam. 

It was a lot hotter than it should have been, Liam kinda had trouble keeping it together while watching Niall, loving the feeling of it as well, even though he knew it was just to get his fingers wet, he couldn’t help but whine a little bit when the younger boy pulled his fingers from his mouth once more, grinning at the older one, probably liking the way he had enjoyed it so obviously. “Can do that more often if you want… “

“I… “ Liam didn’t really know what to say, he didn’t feel embarrassed in that moment, however, he was simply a bit speechless, just staring at the younger boy like this, heavy and hot in his lap, hair having gone a bit damp with sweat, all messed up, his face blushed all the way down his neck, lips red and swollen. He was so fucking beautiful and if Liam hadn’t been so incredibly horny and hard, he might have even told him. “C’mon, let’s…. get these stupid pants off of you.”

Again, Niall just chuckled, pressing another kiss to Liam’s mouth before attempting to make it easier for the brunette man by lifting his hips a little bit until Liam was able to somehow pull his sweatpants down enough to get his arse free, immediately snubbing a finger between his cheeks, watching Niall’s facial expression change as he touched his hole, his eyes going wider, pupils turning a bit darker. “Just… do it… please, ‘m still loose… from last night… “

He was indeed, it was so hot, feeling his finger immediately dipping inside a bit, watching the younger’s eyes rolling back into his head as Liam kept playing with his entrance, a moan escaping the blonde once Liam had his whole finger in, relieved that it had gone in so easily and that Niall seemed to be anything besides in pain, the pleasure very clearly written across his face before he dropped his head on Liam’s shoulder, breathing heavily into his shirt.

Normally, Liam would have taken longer to open the boy up, but seeing as he was almost obscenely moaning into his shoulder after only a few minutes, trying to thrust down onto the older’s fingers once he had three up his ass, Liam decided to pull them out, not wanting Niall to come just yet, when he himself felt so close to bursting as well, the sounds Niall had been making all the way through of course not leaving him cold either. “You alright?”

“Yeah… “ Niall lifted his head after Liam had pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, a small smile playing around his lips even if his facial expression said something completely different. “Just please… get inside of me, ‘m about to bust… “

“Yeah, okay… one sec…” Attempting to somewhat hurry up, Liam tried not to feel excited about doing this without a condom, he knew they probably shouldn’t have, but then again, he trusted Niall to not have any diseases and besides, just the thought of going in without anything at all, coming inside of the younger boy, really brought out a side in Liam he hadn’t even been aware of having. 

They were both panting again as Liam grabbed a hold of his own cock while Niall lifted his ass once more, allowing the older man to line himself up, his eyes falling closed as the head rubbed up against his loose entrance, not really letting Liam tease him because he almost immediately pushed down on his dick, slowly, the feeling more overwhelming than the brunette man would have thought, fingers digging into the blonde’s hips in a poor attempt to keep it together. Just… _shit_ , how come the sex could still get better with time?! After everything they had done?!

“Oh god, Li… fuck… feels so good… “ Niall moaned once he was fully seated, sweaty forehead pressed against Liam’s once more, their hot breath mixing as they both struggled to breathe. “Please move, _please_ … “

Liam definitely didn’t have to be told twice, especially not when Niall used that tone of voice, almost having it breaking at the end. They had never done it like this, with the blonde on top, and Liam had no idea why because it was honestly the hottest thing ever, having to lift half of the younger boy’s weight with him, almost immediately hitting all the right spots because of how much deeper he was able to get like this, pride filling his stomach when Niall threw his head back like they were filming a porno or something. Thank god no one was able to hear them up here.

It was almost obscene really, when Niall started to lift himself and then sit down again, grabbing so tightly onto Liam that it hurt, in a really good way though, there was no way anything they could have done right now could have felt anything but pleasurable because Liam was already in fucking heaven. “Yeah… just like that, Ni… and- yeah… fuck… fuck, you’re so good… “

They kissed only momentarily before their lips slipped off of each other once more, but they remained this close, Niall’s cheek pressed against Liam’s as they kept up their rhythm like this, the inside of the car smelling like sex and sweat, nothing but their moans filling the air. There was heat coiling in Liam’s stomach way sooner than he wanted it to, but Niall was so hot and so tight and he was being so _loud_ whenever Liam hit the right spot, piercing his prostate almost every single time now, begging him to go faster and harder while bouncing on his lap. No way could they have held back even if they had wanted to, no bloody way.

Despite the fact that Liam was desperately chasing his own orgasm, feeling it so close, like he might have been pushed over the edge any second, he still wanted Niall to come first. Wrapping a hand around the younger’s cock sandwiched between them, Niall almost sounded like he was about to die as Liam jerked him off sloppily, smearing precum into his foreskin, the wetness making the glide a whole lot easier.

“Oh god, Li… Liam… harder, please, I… ‘m gonna… oh god… _Liam_!” When Niall came it was kind of out of nowhere, his head buried against Liam’s shoulder once more, spilling over his hand and their shirts, moaning into his shirt as he rode out his high, clenching so tightly around the older man that it pushed Liam over the edge as well.

“Fuck, Niall… “ Liam fucked them both through it, feeling himself cum inside of the younger boy, filling him up with it, just the thought of it making all of this even better, if that was even possible because he had, no doubt, never come this hard or long, hips stuttering to a stop as they both somewhat came down from it, the older man seeing stars in front of his eyes as he pressed them closed, somehow trying to catch his breath, ears feeling a little numb.

None of them spoke or moved as they attempted to calm down, Liam’s limbs felt like jelly now, he was just loosely holding onto Niall, his heart beating faster than ever, trying to focus on the younger’s breathing, whose head was still on his shoulder, arms wrapped around him, just holding on as if he needed the support. And yet, Liam felt himself relax, despite the fact that his thighs were burning or that he felt sweat rolling down the back of his neck, there was a smile forming on his lips, one that he couldn’t have stopped even if he had wanted to.

“Oh god… fuck…. why…. why’d I never… have sex in… in a million pounds car… before?” For a moment or two, it actually sounded like a pretty serious question that Niall was barely able to bring out between his pants, but then suddenly, he started laughing, all breathlessly, and Liam couldn’t help but join, though he was still inside the boy and they were both fucking gross and sticky, none of them minding though because somehow… somehow this felt really good, like, the after sex kinda feeling, and having Niall here like this, still on his lap after having done something like this, Liam couldn’t have been in anything but a good mood now, could he? “That was really… really damn fucking… amazing.”

“Eh… it was alright…” Liam joked, chuckling as the younger boy immediately lifted his head in order to glare at him, playfully hitting his chest before cracking up as well while obviously trying to stay serious though, but instead, he just kissed the older man again, shortly but sweet.

“Stop lying, mate… you’ve been moaning my name pretty loudly for saying that now.” Niall looked like an absolute mess, but he was somehow still glowing, cheeky grin on his face, his mood obviously on a high, mirroring the older man’s. “Maybe… maybe we should always have sex in your car from now on.”

“Sounds good to me.” It really did, Liam couldn’t help but smile a bit too widely at the younger boy, so ridiculously happy now, even if he knew he’d have to pull out any second and that they’d have to deal with this huge mess they had made, he couldn’t remember ever feeling like this, and judging by Niall’s facial expression, the way he was staring at Liam, seemed as if he might have just felt the very same.

 

\------------

 

They had a laugh trying to clean themselves up afterwards, Niall complained a bit extra much about how gross Liam’s cum felt seeping out of him, almost dying from laughter though when they had to use their McDonald’s tissues to clean themselves up because they had run out of normal ones. In the end though, they did manage to somewhat look presentable again, although sweaty and with a few cum spots here and there, but they weren’t going anywhere, only back home to have a shower, which immediately had the blonde boy suggesting that now that they were at it, they might as well try shower sex as well. 

It never came to that though, because even though Liam would have been willing to do it, still feeling hyper a whole while later, as if he had taken drugs or something, Niall’s energy seemed to be draining from him a little bit faster. Since he had clearly gotten over his obsession with keeping Liam’s car all clean and not touching anything unnecessarily, he took his shoes off before pulling his feet up onto the seat, curling up on the passenger seat while still talking to Liam, eventually though, he fell asleep just like that, face still turned towards the older man during the whole time left of the drive.

Though of course Liam had to pay attention to the road, he couldn’t help but look over a lot more often than he should have, a dumb smile plastered across his face as he saw Niall sleeping like that, suddenly thinking that despite the fact that this day had started so absolutely terribly, it was still ending in a really, really good way. And really, that was enough reason to justify leaning over while stopping at a right light, pressing a very small kiss right where Niall had the band aid on the side of his head.

They might have not found a solution for this mess yet and probably had had hour long speeches from both their best friends ahead of them and whatever crazy online stories someone might come up with, but right now all Liam cared about was this right here, knowing that Niall felt comfortable with him, that he didn’t wanna give up on their friendship despite what had happened, that he genuinely liked spending time with Liam, enough to offer to fucking fake date him, and that no matter what was going to happen or what they were going to decide on doing in the end, Liam was sure that he’d be able to count on the younger boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! (for real this time haha), i hope you all had / are having a wonderful day, thank you so much for reading my fic and for all the nice comments you guys always leave me, it really means the world to me!  
> Hope everyone liked the chapter, let me know!


	14. Chapter 14

“You know we gotta talk about it at some point, right?” The fact that Harry had somehow managed to find them a place on the train where no one else was sitting was a miracle really, something Niall would have usually been happy about, right now, however, while having his face almost pressed against the window in an attempt to ignore his best friend’s presence, the privacy was more than unwelcome.

“I already know that you and Louis are in love, I don’t think we need to talk about it again.” It was a joke, obviously, but somehow maybe also a very pathetic attempt to change the topic, maybe get Harry to forget about what he was really eager to talk about. As if that would have actually happened, they hadn’t seen each other in like, 6 days, ever since the day of the party and Niall had known that this was going to eventually happen. Those innocent text messages they had been writing couldn’t have been the end of it, this was Harry after all, he wouldn’t just drop this.

“Well, good, then we can move on to you and Liam.” There was a smirk on his voice that Niall didn’t have to actually see to know of its presence, his stomach turning a bit as he kept his eyes glued to the window, the train going too fast for him to really see much, the fact that they had only just gotten in making this slightly more depressing. “What’ve you been up to the last few days?”

“Nothing, not like we could have gone outside, could we?” It came out a bit more sarcastic than intended, Niall knew it wasn’t fair, that he was acting this way now when he had been the one who had been lying to his best friend for months. Then again, just because they were best friends didn’t give Harry the right to know about every aspect of Niall’s life, did it? “But _yes_ , we had sex and we snogged, if that’s what you’ve really been wanting to ask. What have _you_ been doing?”

“Nothing much either, we did go out though, a few times. Since you two didn’t want us to come over.” Was he trying to make Niall feel guilty now? “I… I might have kissed him, you know.”

“Wait, what?” That had come out of nowhere, almost immediately, Niall turned his head to stare at Harry sitting opposite of him, the same dumb smile on his face that the blonde had already been imaging in his head. What the fuck? “When? Why’d you only tell me now?!”

“I don’t know… it happened spontaneously, last night actually. I wasn’t sure if… if you’d be happy for me because of what you said when we skyped, but… yeah.” He shrugged, almost seeming a bit scared now, but lucky for him Niall’s mood was already at zero. It couldn’t have gotten any worse now, not after he had been forced to say goodbye to Liam just an hour ago, after being together for so many days, not ever talking to anybody but him, and though he hadn’t completed his list of having sex with Liam in every room of his house, they had gotten pretty close. So naturally, Niall was missing the older man terribly, already, and he wasn’t even trying to lie to himself about it.

“I am happy for you, I just… I know I overreacted a bit, it was just… a bad day, I suppose. So… are you two, like… “ Yeah, Niall was happy for Harry, really, he wasn’t even that surprised anymore either as in the first second, they had all known this was coming after all, hadn’t they? Stupid, why the fuck did Niall feel like calling Liam right now and tell him? Right, because he had gotten used to just talking to Liam whenever he wanted to during the last few days.

Which was more than stupid, even more now that the older man had decided they couldn’t see each other for a bit, though he had promised Niall multiple times that it wouldn’t be for long, reassuring him that he would never ever want them to end their friendship over this, the blonde knew that Liam wanted for all of this to calm down first. And it hadn’t. They had checked every day of course, Liam had been looking on twitter and speaking to his manager and stuff Niall didn’t really understand, but what he did know was that nothing had calmed down at all, if anything, it was only getting worse really.

Despite the fact that this was of course dragging down the mood, they hadn’t really talked about what they were gonna do anymore, Niall hadn’t brought up the fake dating anymore either, just been trying to enjoy the short time he had with Liam, pretending as if the day he would have to leave would never come. But now that it had, now that the blonde had no idea when he would see Liam again, in real life, he was kinda freaking out internally, though he had tried to play it cool of course, he had maybe kissed Liam a bit too desperately before he had left. This was shit, and now paired with what Harry had told him, Niall could already see that everything he had been scared about happening was going to actually happen.

“I mean… we talked about it and he knows that I… like him and he likes me too, but we wanna do it slowly.” So like, the complete opposite of Niall and Liam, although, this was different, they weren’t in love after all, they were just… friends. With lots of sex, like… every day, but that was of course not why Niall was going to miss Liam, not the most important one anyways and he kinda really hated that he was already getting nervous about having to sleep alone tonight. This was so dumb, it had only been a week or so, Niall would be absolutely fine. “Which brings me back to you and Liam.”

“How does that bring you back to me and Liam?” That made no sense at all, Niall felt himself getting nervous again, he had almost been ready to congratulate Harry, but now that he had said that, he definitely wouldn’t ever say anything just close to that. Not now at least. “Look, I’m sorry I lied, okay? I told you already. I just… I don’t know, we didn’t wanna tell you and Louis because you guys would’ve either been talking about it nonstop or getting mad and we just… I don’t know, I didn’t _plan_ on this, okay? It’s just blown up like this now and I don’t know why we kissed like that at the party, but it’s too late to think about now anyways. We just have sex… sometimes, that’s all, I don’t know why we’d have to talk about that.”

“I mean… I found it less surprising than Louis, but… I know you after all, I just found it weird that you freaked out like that when we skyped, you know, and that you were the one who… seemed so eager to pretend to date him, in public. That’s kinda… I don’t know, you having a fuck buddy isn’t the weird part of all of this, it’s just the fact that it’s with… a celebrity. _And_ that you’d give up your privacy and stop sleeping with other people. For him. I mean, you would, right? You would stop… sleeping around if he had agreed? You’d kinda have to.” Well, not like Niall really had the urge to sleep with other people now that he knew that none of them were ever gonna come close to making him feel like he felt with Liam, but… he couldn’t have really said that, could he?

It was obvious, what Harry was thinking and Niall felt his cheeks getting hotter, very unusual for him, he didn’t even know why though, because his best friend was clearly wrong, it was just, how would Niall make him believe that? When half of the time he didn’t even know why he was acting this way himself? He just needed to play this cool. “So? He’s not agreeing to it anyways.”

“Because he knows it could ruin your life, Niall.” Was this supposed to be like… Harry trying to talk sense into Niall? Because if so then they were definitely not going to be speaking for much longer, it was so easy for Harry to sit there and say these things when he had no idea at all what was going on, when he didn’t have to be worried about when he’d see Louis again, or how all of this was going to end. It wasn’t fair. “I just… I’m just trying to understand this all, it… it doesn’t seem like something you would do. Not that I’d find it bad if you only ever slept with Liam and no one else, but… “

“But what?” Niall knew that Harry hated how much he slept around, but he had never really cared or listened to his best friend, after all, the main reason why Harry had wanted Niall to stop was because he didn’t wanna hear them whenever he slept over at Niall’s dorm after going out. Or… touch gross towels in his kitchen or something. But that wasn’t Niall’s problem now, was it?

“Just… why?” Their eyes met once more, and the younger boy really did look confused, as if he genuinely wanted an answer, and Niall already had his mouth open to say something really mean just to shut Harry up, but then… then he realized that actually, he had no fucking idea what to say.

“I… “ Of course Niall knew why he’d do it, but he didn’t know how to say it without either feeding the theory Harry had or embarrassing himself to the bones, and he really didn’t know which one was worse. But just because Harry had his theories didn’t mean that they were right, he could think whatever he wanted, what really counted was what Niall and Liam thought about it, right? If only Niall’s voice could have sounded firmer while trying to act tough, and if only he could have directly looked at Harry’s face instead of his shoes. “I don’t… I don’t wanna lose him, as a friend, I mean. Like… I like spending time with him, and if you really need to know then… the sex is fucking _amazing_ , I just… I know it’d change a lot of things and make them more complicated, but we really get along and besides that… I don’t think it’s fair that I could just walk away and he’d be left to solve this mess. We were waiting for it to calm down the past few days, but it only got worse and now… now I don’t know when I’ll see Liam again and I have no idea what we’re gonna do if they ever see my face and I just thought that… that the fake dating thing would solve all of that, right? And it would keep Liam from being seen as desperate or whatever crap they’re writing about him. When we… when Louis invited us to Liam’s concert, he told me about it, how they’re all making fun of it, that he hasn’t been with anyone in ages and… and that’s kinda how it all started anyways, I offered that… that we could talk, if he needed to and then… then he flew me out and I kinda offered the sex too and I don’t know… he was freaked out at first, but now, it’s like… it’s normal, and we can just go back to being friends again right after and I… I really like that. I don’t wanna… have to lose this just because of some stupid fucking video.”

For a moment, Harry stayed quiet as Niall finished, a little bit surprised with himself, not really having planned to explain everything right then and there, but somehow he did feel slightly relieved for a second, this was his best friend after all, even if there were still things Niall would have rather kept from him. He really had no choice anymore now, did he? “You really do like him, don’t you?”

“Of course I like him, Haz, we’re friends, really good friends, I… “ What exactly was he trying to say? They were… more than just good friends, actually, Niall probably wouldn’t go as far as saying that there were things he would have rather talked about with Liam than Harry, but… thinking about Christmas Eve, that was kind of the way it was. He didn’t know what it was about Liam and he also didn’t really want to get into it because that would have just caused him to miss the older man even more than he already was. Stupid.

“I know, but… you know I’ve been wondering and… Louis has been too actually, I mean, not that we talked about you and Liam that much, only… you know since you are this close and all, and since you came up with the fake dating idea, I was just wondering if… if maybe, you know… I know you’re not into relationships, but-“

“Woah, woah, wait, I… what? We’re not, like… I’m not in love with him or whatever. And neither is he, we’re just friends and we sometimes have sex, that’s all, okay?” Of course Niall had known that that was what Harry was thinking, it wasn’t hard to guess, also because of the text message Louis had sent him, but… it just wasn’t true for god’s sake!

”Okay, no need to get angry, yeah? I was just asking, nothing else, I know you’re not into relationships, I was just… wondering why you were so eager to _date_ him.” They weren’t looking at each other, but Niall felt the younger’s eyes on him, not wanting to return his stare though, this was uncomfortable enough already. This whole conversation was unnecessary, like really, what was the point? “But it’s fine, I mean… if you only have sex and nothing else, it’s like… like in that one movie.”

“Yeah… I guess.” Whatever, Niall really felt no need to say any more, what was there left to say anyways, right? He didn’t even care what Harry or Louis were thinking about any of this anyways, it didn’t matter, it sucked enough already the way it was. 

“Like in that movie where… where they end up falling in love.” Alight, fuck Harry, what was he trying to do? Talk Niall into being in love with Liam or some crap?!

“Okay, Haz, this is fuckin’ stupid, okay? I’m _not_ in love with Liam, just… just drop it, alright? I told you everything already, that’s all there is to it and nothing else, the whole situation sucks and I don’t need you trying to tell me what I feel or some shit. Me and Liam are friends and I’m allowed to have sex with whoever I want, yeah? And if I’m scared to lose him and to not being able to see him anymore then I’m allowed to, because _yes_ I like him, on a friendship basis, got it? And now stop it, because I won’t say anything about it anymore.” To prove his point, Niall took his phone out, to show that he was done, trying not to be disappointed when he saw no new messages on the screen. It was fine though, they had seen each other like an hour ago, had been snogging actually, right before… right before Liam had promised that they’d see each other again soon, and then he had kissed him where the band aid had been stuck, the wound almost healed now as it hadn’t been very deep anyways, but it still caused goosebumps to raise over Niall’s arms thinking about it again.

“Look, Ni, I’m sorry, okay? I just… I know this sucks, I know… me and Louis were just worried, that’s all, I… I know you really like him, as a friend, and I know he really likes you too, so I hope that this is gonna go well and that… that everything either calms down or that he agrees to your… plan, I just… I don’t want you to…. to get hurt.” Rolling his eyes, Niall had quite some trouble staying mad at Harry when he was talking like this, his voice having softened as well, the fact that they never really had big fights making it even harder. Niall wasn’t mad, he just didn’t want to talk about it anymore, especially not now that he knew how fucking easy Harry and Louis actually had it. “And I… I mean if Liam did agree, like… it’d change everything. People at college would know, our families, everybody.”

“Everyone at college knows us already though.” It was true and Harry knew it, but he just sighed, probably knowing that he wouldn’t manage to talk Niall out of it, why was he so eager to do so anyways? “You do realize that if you start dating Louis, for real, then the same thing will happen, right? I know Louis is _just_ a song writer, but I know Liam’s fans know Louis as well, it wouldn’t make that much of a difference.”

“Yes, it would, because no one’s half interested in Louis as in Liam, but that’s not what I meant anyways, I just… I meant that what if… I mean, yeah, a lot of people know us, but… they don’t all like us. What’d you do if like… if anyone you slept with comes forward and talks about it?” Harry sounded seriously troubled by that but Niall just shrugged anyways, he had already thought about this as well, but it didn’t really seem to be like that big of an issue to him. 

“I’d deny it. And anyways… you know that the next time they see me and find out who I am, the exact same things would happen, only then Liam would look _really_ bad. I just… I don’t see how we’ll be able to hide this forever, you know? And maybe the hype will calm down but doesn’t mean it couldn’t start again, I just... one day it’ll come out, unless me and Liam never ever see each other again. I mean… maybe it isn’t exactly a scandal that we kissed like that but… he will still be asked questions about it probably and I don’t know how this works, but… I can’t imagine it’d be comfortable to be confronted with it constantly, having people saying you’re taking the best next guy to hook up with just because you’re desperate, or even worse, your own fans or whatever and like… what if something like this happens again? I don’t… want this to affect him, but… I also don’t wanna end our friendship, I just… “ Niall just wanted to erase that moment at the party, even though thinking back, he probably would have done the exact same thing again and he didn’t even know why he had had such an urge to snog Liam right then and there. This was so messed up.

“I know… I’m sorry, Niall, really. I know that… I’ve been getting on your nerves the past few months because of Liam, but… I’m still glad you get along so well, even despite what’s happened, and I’m sure that… that it’ll turn out alright. He wouldn’t wanna end his friendship with you either and if he doesn’t ask to see you again soon, I’ll get Louis to kick his arse, okay?” See, this was why they never fought, they always somehow managed to make up again immediately and Niall felt a tiny bit better as he looked up and was met by a smile. He knew Harry couldn’t have really promised him anything, or really helped, but it was the thought that counted after all, right?

“Thanks, Haz… I’m sorry as well, that I lied. And also… I really hope that you and Louis will work out fine, I… I know how long you’ve been stalking him after all.” Niall decided to end it in a joke, not in the mood anymore for serious talk, smirking immediately as he saw Harry’s face darken. 

“Hey! I never _stalked_ him, yeah? I just… I really admired his work.” Harry made some movement with his hand, only making Niall laugh more, the whole situation was a little bit funny after all, if he ignored all the serious aspects and the fact that he had gone in fact, insane.

“Mhm, of course, Haz.” The younger boy already had his mouth open to complain probably, but Niall decided not to let it come this far, instead, he leaned forward a little bit, pushing every bad thought away as he cut Harry off immediately, knowing that it was for the better if they just kept it at light conversation from now on. Even if that meant he would have his ears talked off in the next few hours. “So… how was the kiss anyways?”

Almost immediately, Harry was in his element, giving Niall every gross detail, probably giving him nightmares for the next ten years as well, but the blonde happily listened, or at least pretended to, feeling happy that his best friend was so excited, that he had gotten what he had wanted for so long, that it was working out just fine for him, even if yeah, Niall did feel jealous, but that seemed hardly appropriate to say. Or even mention.

He felt better now that he and Harry had talked, even if that didn’t change anything at all, because at the end of the day, Niall knew that he would be lying in his bed trying not to think about how much he wished he was still with Liam. How much he wished they’d still have days and days ahead of them, not doing anything, just watching TV and talking all day long, throwing in a few snogging sessions and then sleeping in the same bed after fucking. 

It almost seemed like a dream to Niall already, how the fuck was he gonna survive knowing that there was a possibility that he would have to wait ages for this to happen again? Or even worse…what if it’d never happen again?

 

\-----------

 

“This feels weird, doesn’t it?” Louis’ voice only barely got through to Liam, he shrugged a little bit, not really sure what his friend was implying, but rather focusing on some article he had found online, one about himself, unsurprisingly, and had he not read enough nasty shit during the last few days, he would have maybe been shocked. “I really got used to having Harry around.”

“Hm.” Was all Liam made, he knew what was about to come but he didn’t really care all too much, he was missing Niall and the boy had only left a few hours ago, Louis had immediately wanted to come over because Harry of course had gone home with the blonde, but Liam had dragged it out until now. He had rather been trying to deal with his own bad mood and resist the urge to text Niall for a while before getting ready to have this kinda conversation with Louis, not that he would be saying much anyways, because there wasn’t anything to say, Liam was a grown up, he could do whatever the hell he wanted to. 

“I really like him, I think.” This was only slightly weird, Liam knew why Louis was starting it like this, but really, he didn’t care whatever Louis and Harry were doing because it had never been a secret, they had never been trying to hide it and it reminded him once more of what Niall had said, or screamed more like, when they had been skyping. He had been right, to a certain degree, and Liam was really starting to feel it now that Niall was gone, jealousy bubbling up inside of him that he didn’t know where to place. They hadn’t been hanging out with Louis and Harry during the last few days because obviously, they had been trying to use the time they had alone, but it became a lot more obvious now that Harry and Louis had been very much okay with that, doing their own thing as well. Liam didn’t know why, but the thought of their friends being able to go outside every day, not having to hide, doing normal stuff, was kinda getting to him, not that he hadn’t loved being almost locked in here with Niall but… it would’ve been nice, going out to eat something or whatever. They’d never be able to do that now, would they? “What’re you reading?”

“Nothing… some shit article.” Liam quickly locked his phone as he felt Louis leaning closer, shoving it into his pockets before sighing, already feeling bad for not giving any real answers. He was happy for Louis, really, but that feeling certainly wasn’t enough to overshadow everything else on his mind. “I can’t say I’m surprised, about you and Harry, I mean, so… congratulations. I always knew you had a thing for younger guys.”

“It’s only… seven years or something.” Snorting at that, Liam felt his friend’s stare on him as he propped his feet up on the coffee table, trying his hardest not to let his mind drift, he had already been sulking in self pity today, one time was enough. Just, it was hard not having Niall here now, when they had basically been living on top of each other for the past few days, kind of locked into the house as well, no one’s company to share but each other’s. Seeing the boy go and watch him getting into the taxi Liam had gotten for him had been a lot harder than expected. “He’s really grown up, okay?”

“You don’t need to defend yourself, Lou, I don’t care that he’s only 19.” Harry was even younger than Niall, which was very funny considering that Louis was older than Liam, but the brunette man didn’t care anyways, after all, he had hooked up with Niall when he had only been 19 as well.

“Almost 20.” And Louis had recently turned 27, but Liam didn’t say that, he just shrugged again, trying not to think about how bloody weird the whole situation had gotten, like, what had been the odds right? That Louis would stumble upon Niall and Harry, just like that, and that he’d get them into this kinda mess? “Anyways, been a good few days and also… we snogged last night.”

“Congratulations, again.” Was Liam surprised? Nope, but he tried to smile at Louis, so the mood wouldn’t stay at zero, only a little bit grossed out at the thought, not like he had never seen Louis making out with anybody, actually, he had seen him doing way worse things. Only by accident of course, Liam would have never purposely walked in on something like this, he really intended to keep his sight a little bit longer.

“What’ve you been doing… last night?” That question seemed hardly appropriate, Liam rolled his eyes before turning his head away, playing with one of the cushions on the couch, just because Louis was being so open about all of this didn’t mean that Liam was as well, also, he didn’t really think Louis wanted to hear any details from last night anyways.

“Nothing, we watched a movie and then… “ They had had sex, three times, with breaks in between of course, it’s just… the thought of Niall leaving the next day had gotten them both a little bit desperate, even more so because of everything else going on and them not knowing how or when they’d see each other again. Of course Liam wouldn’t survive staying away for too long, he knew that all of this was his own decision, he would decide when they’d see each other again, if he had asked Niall to just come back again right now, he knew the boy wouldn’t have thought twice. But he couldn’t and Liam had to the responsible one here, even if it hurt. 

“Alright, okay, don’t think I need any details.” Louis let out a quick laugh, as if it was funny, as if he hadn’t been mad at Liam for exactly that only a few days ago. He had clearly calmed down about it, but Liam was more than just aware that that didn’t mean he’d just get away like that, there was definitely more to come. “Have you decided, like, what you’re gonna do now?”

“Nothing, I… we’ll just wait for it to calm down, which it will, eventually. And then we… we’ll see, I guess.” Of course the situation would calm down, the only question was _when_ , and if it did, there was no guarantee it couldn’t all start again as soon as Niall was spotted again. It’d be impossible to forever keep his face hidden, Liam knew that, everyone did, he had always secretly been trying to have a plan ready for when that’d happen, but he had never considered that they would get caught snogging before that. 

“What if it doesn’t, like… would you actually pretend to date him, or…?” His questions came carefully, but it wasn’t hard to guess that he had been eager to ask, Liam suppressed a sigh as he hesitated, not quite sure how to answer this even though it had been on his mind almost 24/7. Would he actually go through with this?

“I don’t know, I’ll think about that when... when we really have no other choice anymore. It’s just… the whole situation is shit, that’s it. I have no idea what to do.” Saying it oud loud felt like a bit of a relief, but it also caused Liam to panic a little bit, because it sounded so final.

There was no real answer coming from Louis for a bit, Liam saw him nodding from the corner of his eyes, his face not amused for once but rather serious instead. The teasing was going to come, no doubt, but for now Liam was just glad that they could have conversations like normal adults, without yelling or joking or anything, because they were after all, and this situation wasn’t something to take on the light shoulder, especially when it could affect Liam this much depending on the choices he made. “You know… I’ve been wanting to ask, for a while, but I didn’t because you would have just freaked out and because you were always kind of denying your friendship with Niall in the beginning, but… he didn’t like, I don’t know… _convince_ you to do any of this, right? Not that I’d think he’s like that, I was just… wondering, because it seems so weird that you would actually agree to any of this. I know it’s what I wanted, when I tried to get you to meet people and stuff, but I just never… I was kinda, I don’t know, happy, maybe, that you had a one night stand with him, but I never had this in mind, you know? I always hoped that maybe it’d become more than just… sex.”

“He never convinced me to do anything, Lou, he never even… touched me without my consent before this started, it’s not like that. When I flew him out to LA, we were both drunk, but… I was the one who asked for a kiss, and then we hooked up again, and I freaked out in the morning, but it was never awkward with him. I don’t know, I was surprised with myself, actually, I can’t ever imagine doing this with anybody but Niall, I don’t know how it happened, like… but in a strange way, I do feel better now, you know. I think maybe you were right, and maybe Niall was too, when you said I gotta let a little loose and stuff. I don’t… I’d never regret this, it’s what we both want.” Which was true, Liam never had moments of doubt anymore after they had really gotten into this, which was weird for him, but how could he have worried about these kinda things with Niall? It almost seemed impossible. He did appreciate Louis caring this much though, but there was no need for him to worry, because _that_ certainly wasn’t Liam’s problem.

“Okay… good. I just thought I’d check, you know? Like… it’s good, that you have him, and I’m glad I was being such a pain in the ass about it.” A chuckle that made Liam smile for a second, he maybe should have thanked Louis for this, but then again… maybe not. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s why I was so freaked out when… when it all came out. I know how Niall’s like, and it’s fine, he’s nice and everything, just, I know you’re the complete opposite, and I just… don’t want this to end badly, like, it’s obvious that he’s taking this serious, I mean, even Harry was confused when Niall freaked out like that, that he was the one who suggested the dating thing, but … it’s all on a friendship basis right? … for the both of you?”

“Yeah, of course, we… we talked about it, in the beginning, I never… never thought we’d ever be more than that, it’s fine. Niall’s just… he’s scared we’ll barely see each other anymore, that’s why he’s so eager to go through with this, I mean, I was kinda scared he would wanna end our friendship right then and there, but… “ Very obviously, that hadn’t been the case, Liam didn’t really feel like continuing though, he didn’t wanna tell Louis everything, didn’t want to embarrass Niall like that by talking about his emotional and vulnerable side, it didn’t seem right.

“Why would he want that? It’s obvious that he likes you a lot, Li, and Harry thinks so as well.” Well, good, not that Liam would have ever thought that Niall was only pretending, because there would have been no point really. Also, he had admitted that Liam and Harry were his only good friends, and though that was a very depressing thought, Liam was kinda proud of it as well. Not that he wanted to take Harry’s place as Niall’s best friend or anything, just… he didn’t mind them growing closer, not at all. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, I mean… I know this is all shit, I’ve seen what people are saying online, but you know… at the end of the day, it doesn’t fucking matter what they say, your fans are still supporting you, I think some might be a bit too excited about the thought of you having a boyfriend actually, but it’s not like… not like this will ruin you or anything. Actually… quite the opposite to be honest, you know what they say, every kinda attention is good. Your album sales have gone up too.”

“Coincidence, probably, I don’t know… it’s not that I care so much, I just never really had any drama going on. It was all always made up, that I drink too much and shit like that, but now… now it’s _real_ , and I have no idea how to deal with that. I don’t… I don’t wanna have to wait months to see Niall again, I already m- I mean… yeah, it… it sucks.” Feeling his cheeks flush, Liam felt his heart bumping faster, glad that he had cut himself off in time, but not like that mattered really, he knew that Louis was aware of what he had been wanting to say anyways. It’s not like it wasn’t obvious.

“I know… I’m sure he misses you too, Li.” His voice had gotten softer, Liam shifted a bit on the couch, suddenly feeling very, very awkward, like… the whole conversation hadn’t been half as bad as he had thought it would be, but right now, he would have very much loved to be invisible or something. It was alright for Louis to say that it felt weird not having Harry around, but that was different, they were almost dating after all. 

“Yeah, I, um… you want a beer or something?” In an attempt to get out of this situation, Liam quickly decided to stand up, rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans, not turning to Louis though because he was afraid the older man might have seen how red his face had gotten. Not like it was a secret anyways.

“Sure, thanks.” It came out easy, so Liam just nodded as he walked towards the kitchen, hoping that they were done with this topic now, seeing as there wasn’t really anything else to talk about anymore, but sadly, he was very wrong when Louis’ voice stopped him once more, still calm and everything, but it almost caused the brunette man to stumble over his own feet. “You know… it’d be alright if you did feel more for Niall than just friendship, not saying that you are, but… it’d be okay if you liked him more than just as a friend.”

There was nothing for Liam to reply, he knew that this was what both Harry and Louis were thinking, but… they weren’t in love, were they? Niall never fell in love with anybody and he had told Liam, had told him that they’d never have the chance of ever being more and Liam was fine with that, he had agreed, everything they were doing was just for fun. He couldn’t like Niall like that, it’d be stupid anyways, and pointless too, like yeah, he sometimes had felt jealous when thinking about Niall sleeping with other people, and the thought of having the boy all to himself wasn’t off putting either, but that didn’t mean anything, did it?

Liam couldn’t be in love with Niall, they were just friends after all, it wouldn’t have been right, but for the first time ever since he had met the boy, while spending a bit too long in the kitchen, Liam genuinely considered the possibility.

 

\----------------

 

Niall had never seen anything wrong with being alone once a while, he had enjoyed it to a certain extend because he knew he’d be hanging out with his friends again later anyways, had always kind of been a people person. Now though, while lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, having tried to fall asleep for the past hour or something, the blonde wasn’t so sure anymore whether he really enjoyed it that much after all.

The problem wasn’t that he was alone though and he knew and hated it, but he could have been surrounded by people right now, could have had a laugh and a few drinks and it still wouldn’t have been what he was really craving, which was stupid, because it had only been two weeks and Niall had gone way longer without being with Liam, not even getting close to feeling like he was right now. Which was, like absolute shit.

Everything had gone back to normal once he and Harry had gotten back to college, sure, they had talked about it once a while, but never this serious again, it was like always, everything, of course, because nothing had changed, not here. They’d go out with their friends and have a drink, Niall would get a little bit too shitfaced but never as much as he used to, not wanting to not being able to remember his activities like so often before, he never kissed anybody or did anything worse, much to Harry’s joy, even though he wasn’t doing it for his best friend, not even for the sake of being able to fake date Liam in case the brunette changed his mind.

No, the reason why Niall had lost pleasure in hooking up with strangers was a different one, he simply didn’t want to anymore, it didn’t feel right and he kinda hated feeling this way, but on the other hand… he saw no point in it, he was certain he’d never find anybody that’d be able to make him feel like Liam anyways, so why do it? Why make Harry roll his eyes at him and risk Liam finding out when he didn’t even want to? There was no point in that and he hadn’t only recently discovered that, hadn’t slept with anyone but Liam even before spending that week with him.

That wasn’t the only change in Niall’s habit though, he was pretty certain no one really noticed, but he suddenly found it a lot harder to even pretend to pay attention in lectures or while doing anything at all really, even while him and Harry hung out, when the blonde managed to convince his best friend to watch a normal instead of a documentary, everything he did, it just reminded him that he’d be having a much better time if Liam had been there as well. Skype sex and hour long phone calls really weren’t doing it anymore after two full weeks.

The situation hadn’t really changed much, Liam didn’t like talking about it, but Niall of course had a phone and internet, kinda feeling stupid for stalking Liam online, but how else would he have known what was going on? Everyone was still talking about it, even more so when a new picture of Niall emerged a week after he had left, again when he had been in LA, but it was only blurry and not showing his face and yet it was enough to start the fire again.

So yeah, there was no real silver lining in sight, not even the fact that Niall had passed his finals with a D- could have cheered him up for more than a few minutes. This was terrible, and it was even worse because the blonde had to pretend in front of Harry, had to tell him he was happy for him that he and Louis were gonna see each other again soon for the younger boy’s birthday. Not like Harry was trying to rub it into Niall’s face, he’d never do that, but it was natural that he was happy and not shy to talk about it since Niall was acting like it didn’t affect him anyways. But it did, way too much.

After rolling around for the 500th time, Niall decided to give up, blindly searching for his phone on the nightstand to check the time. It was 3 in the morning, nothing unusual for him lately, but he was still annoyed with himself, with his brain more like, because there was only one damn thing he wanted and he knew he shouldn’t have, considering the time and the fact that he and Liam had been speaking only a few hours ago, just… maybe it’d help to talk to the older man, even if that kinda meant he would have to wake him, but… god, when had Niall gotten so pathetic? He had even put on the older’s shirt that he had packed on accident, which he had never told him, trying to tell himself it was because it didn’t matter and because it was more comfortable than his own clothes to sleep in, when in reality, Niall would have rather died than admitting any of this to anybody.

Anxiously waiting for Liam to pick up, Niall made a silent promise to himself to not keep on trying to call him in case he didn’t answer the phone. Like, he knew that Liam didn’t have to be anywhere tomorrow morning, because he suddenly had a really embarrassingly big knowledge of the older’s schedule, but he might have still wanted his sleep at night. 

It seemed to take ages and Niall almost biting down his whole thumbnail while anxiously lying in the dark, already about to give up, his stomach dropping at the thought of lying there for another hour before finally falling asleep. And then suddenly, Liam did pick up the phone, almost causing the blonde boy to fall out of bed in surprise. Thank fucking god.

“Nialler…? ‘s in the middle of the night… did anything… happen?” He was interrupted by a yawn, his voice sounding deep and raspy, even more so than he would have sounded in real life right after waking up and Niall hated the fact that he knew that voice so well.

“No, I just… “ Alright, this was the part the blonde hadn’t really considered, like, what would he actually say that wasn’t embarrassing as shit? “I’m just… bored.”

“It’s… three am.” Liam concluded after some hesitation and Niall sighed, feeling himself blushing a bit because he was being such a bad liar, why couldn’t he just say it, just straight out? “Are you okay, Ni?” 

“Yeah I’m fine, I just… “ The brunette man’s voice having gone softer had Niall feeling even more embarrassed, he almost felt like he had back when he had called Liam right after having this fight with his dad, only now, he was calling Liam without a reason at all and had this been Harry or just a few weeks ago, Niall wouldn’t have cared, would have just made something up without thinking twice, but this… this was different somehow, ever since that week they had spent together, Niall wasn’t so careless anymore about what he was saying. “I can’t sleep… “

“Okay… one second.” There was some rustling in the background, a few sounds, and Niall waited, just lying in bed, embarrassed about being embarrassed and yet somehow relieved, even more so when Liam spoke up again, sounding more awake all of a sudden. “Alright, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I was just… I don’t know, I’m not tired for some reason and I… “ _ImissyouImissyouImissyou_ “I thought maybe you’d wanna talk in the middle of the night and feel sorry for me.”

“Very funny, Niall.” He did let out a quiet chuckle though, one that caused Niall’s tummy to go a bit warmer, if only he could have heard it in real life, he would have probably fallen asleep within five minutes. That was the other embarrassing part, knowing that if he had been with Liam, just having him lying next to him, would have already helped him to sleep, but he was never ever going to say that out loud because just knowing that it was true was bad enough. “But seriously… you’re okay, yeah? Are you at your dorm?”

“Yeah, sure, ‘m in bed, been trying to fall asleep for like two hours or something.” Probably less, but it had felt like a lifetime. “Sorry for waking you.”

“I know you’re not really sorry.” It didn’t sound mad though, the smile was still prominent in Liam’s voice and Niall allowed himself to return it, just because he was feeling a whole lot better now compared to just a few minutes ago. “It’s fine though, I wasn’t sleeping very well anyways.”

“Why not?” For some reason, Niall started feeling really bad for Liam, like genuinely, he didn’t like thinking that the older man had had trouble sleeping as well.

“I don’t know, maybe I slept in for too long today or something.” Didn’t sound very convincing at all, but then again though, Niall’s excuse probably hadn’t either. Not that he was trying to say Liam couldn’t sleep because of him, that was probably just his fantasy playing tricks on him.

“We could just stay awake all night then at least we could go to sleep tomorrow. Or today actually.” Niall couldn’t help but sound a tiny but excited, making Liam laugh once more, softly, very clearly not even considering the idea though sadly. Niall wouldn’t have minded staying up with Liam all night talking, it seemed to be worth being dead tired in the morning.

“I know you have a class at 9 though, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Damn him for knowing Niall’s schedule, like, not that it wasn’t the same way the other way around but there was no doubt that Liam’s was at least somewhat interesting. 

“I could just skip, I mean, I pas-“

“I know, you passed your finals with a D, Niall, but what about your next ones though? I think you should go to class.” He wasn’t like, trying to force Niall to take college more seriously, but he always said it in a way that made Niall feel as if he would disappoint Liam if he didn’t go or failed, not that he couldn’t have ignored those feelings, but he knew it wouldn’t help here anyways. “If you want to, we can talk afterwards, I just gotta leave for this interview later.”

“Oh, right… do you think they will, like… ask any questions?” It was obvious what Niall meant, he almost felt like he shouldn’t have asked, but then again, why wouldn’t he, since Liam immediately knew what he was talking about anyways, voice still all calm.

“No, don’t worry, all questions about it are banned, they can’t ask if they wanna air it.” Right, that was good, god knows what would have happened if this would have yet again turned into another disaster, like, who knows, they might have not seen each other for years anymore. “We’re just gonna talk about my next tour or something, it’ll probably be really boring, I don’t like the interviewer very much.”

“Well, you know I’m watching it anyways, so.” Niall shrugged, even though Liam couldn’t see, maybe he should have felt stupid for saying that, but it was true after all, how else would he have spent the last two weeks if not by watching old, random interviews of Liam and live texting him about it, he had even watched his audition video, both of them actually. Even though he would have never admitted it, Niall knew that Liam liked him showing so much interest in his career, it’s just after seeing his house and cars and being at the party and everything, Niall had kinda realized how much of a big thing this was and he was really trying to understand the dimensions. Not that he saw Liam any differently or anything, it was just fun being able to text him and asking whether all these things he said at interviews were true or not, it was fun being on the inside somehow. Then again, Niall would have gladly traded all of that if only they could have had a normal friendship, without hiding in a house, he was only trying to make the best of it now. “Better say something interesting so I don’t sleep in while watching.”

“Aww, come on, I always say something interesting. Most of the time at least.” Well, no need mentioning that Niall was mostly only watching Liam and enjoying the fact that he could hear his voice, but he couldn’t have said that really without dying of embarrassment. Even if it was true. “Thanks for watching all my interviews though, I appreciate it, you know.”

“No problem, I’m bored anyways, there’s nothing much to do at college at the beginning of the new semester, so...” Not that he was only doing these things because he was bored, but what else could he have told Liam as a reason? Yeah, he had once told Liam he was going to miss him, on his private jet, but the situation had been completely different, what was Niall gonna say now ‘Hey, I fucking miss you so much I can’t sleep anymore and I’ve been wearing your shit every night’? Yeah, right. 

“Well, you could always… study and do your homework as well.” It was just a joke obviously, Niall rolled his eyes, catching himself smiling as he turned to his side. “Just kidding, Ni, but you do go to classes, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course… most of the time at least, I spent 5 whole hours in lectures today, it was awful. What’ve you been doing?” They had been texting of course, but not about that really, only random stuff like always, but it was nice, just talking with Liam throughout the whole day and then skyping him at night and doing whatever, Niall had kinda found that he enjoyed that more than going out anyways, like, of course he still did, but he kinda preferred getting off with Liam. 

“Not much… I had, uh, lunch with my mum, because she came to visit, remember? So, yeah, that was all really, Louis came over for a bit later as well, as you know.” Right, Liam had told him all of that, also that Louis had been making fun of him because he had been texting Niall the whole time and not been paying attention to what they had been watching on TV. 

“Right, yeah… did your mum, um, like… I mean… what’d you tell her?” It was obvious what Niall was talking about, Liam took a quick breath, hesitating for a moment though, which got the blonde slightly nervous, he hadn’t really considered this, like, for him it was only Harry who he had to give answers to, but Liam had a family and friends that knew about it as well.

“Well, she didn’t really ask me too much, just if I met someone and I… I told her that I did, but that we’re just friends and… and I don’t know what she’s gonna make out of this though, I mean… I could have told her the truth, but I… I didn’t know how’d she react, and she always worries about me so much, I thought maybe it wouldn’t be that good of an idea. But she seemed happy, I think, like… I think she secretly believes we’re dating because she asked your name and everything, but yeah… maybe I’ll tell her the truth at some point.” Oh, that didn’t sound too good, Niall felt guilty listening o how distressed Liam’s voice sounded, again, it wasn’t fair that he had to deal with all this shit while Niall could have just walked away like that. Or maybe he couldn’t after all because, well, he would have missed Liam way too much. “It’s fine though, it wasn’t a lie after all, right? ‘m just glad my mum doesn’t really use the internet … “

“Yeah… they really do write some nasty shit.” Most of the things had obviously been written just for the sake of it, Niall couldn’t believe that such a huge story had come out of Liam simply making out with someone, like, it had never seemed like that much of a big deal, but reading all these things had quickly changed his mind. Now his plan suddenly seemed to be even smarter, but he hadn’t told Liam that of course, he knew the brunette’s man opinion on it. 

“They always have, I… I’m sure it’ll stop though, don’t worry, yeah?” He seemed to be wanting to calm himself down more than Niall, which wasn’t really working anyways because it was way too easy to tell whenever Liam was worried out of his mind. Like right now for example. “Maybe… maybe we should stop looking at these things, I mean… no point in it anyways, right?”

“I guess… but if I don’t stalk you anymore I won’t ever see you anymore except for on skype.” At first, it had been supposed to be a joke in order to brighten the mood a little bit, get to another topic, but Niall kind of felt his throat getting tighter towards the end and judging by the following silence, Liam had noticed as well. Fuck. “I mean… I just, I think it’s cute, whenever you take pictures with fans and they post them with these huge stories attached, like… I like reading that, yeah…”

Plus Niall was also jealous whenever he read these kinda things, but that was really going too far now, wasn’t it? Liam obviously already had trouble finding an answer and the blonde wanted to punch himself for being this stupid, he really had issues, big ones.

“Anyways, uh… “ Silence, again, Niall had really fucked it up now, it wasn’t Liam’s fault after all, was it, it wasn’t anybody’s fault, Niall’s if anyone’s, he had kissed Liam after all. 

“Nialler... “ When Liam spoke up again, his voice sounded really beaten down, something that Niall absolutely hated, suppressing a sigh and swallowing down his apology though, because he had already said it anyways, there was not taking it back now. Also maybe… maybe he didn’t regret it so much anymore after what Liam said. “I… I miss you too.”

Almost immediately, Niall felt himself freeze, his stomach twisting into knots as he took this in, not being able to believe that Liam had just said it, that he had been so much braver than Niall, and at the same time feeling ridiculously happy hearing it, like… not that he had thought Liam didn’t care about not seeing him for so long, but it was nice hearing it nevertheless. Plus, if both of them were embarrassed then… then that kinda equaled them out, right? “Okay… you better.”

“You know I am.” Liam chuckled a bit while Niall’s heart was racing, he knew it had been stupid to make a joke out of it now, but… his face was about to burst into flames or something. “A lot actually… “

“Yeah, I… “ Alright, Niall got this, it was fine, Liam had admitted it, he could do it as well, and it was just over the phone anyways, this was fine. “I… miss you a lot too, bean…”

The nickname kinda slipped out, Niall didn’t even know why, he wanted to really slap himself right afterwards, but he hadn’t meant it in a way to tease Liam or anything, this was serious after all, so hopefully the older man knew that. It seemed a lot like it, judging by how soft his voice had gotten afterwards, calmer now, as if Niall embarrassing himself to the bones helped him feeling more confident himself. “I… I promise we’ll see us soon, okay, Ni? We’ll figure it out, I… I’m sure we will, it’ll be fine and I know… I know it sucks and I really wanna see you too, I’ll… think of something, alright? I’ll have something figured out by tomorrow night… yeah?”

“Okay… “ Niall didn’t wanna get himself too hyped up, he knew this was complicated and he didn’t wanna sound like a whiny baby, just… maybe he was, a little bit right now anyways, it wasn’t his fault though, that it had just so come out of him, especially because he knew exactly how bad it would be if they actually got caught. “I wish… I wish we’d have it as easy as Harry and Louis, I… I know I shouldn’t but… but I kinda hate them for whatever they’re doing on Harry’s birthday… together, I mean, like… I want them to be happy, but….”

“Yeah, I know… “ There was a deep sigh, at least Liam knew what Niall was talking about, they hadn’t really discussed it but it was obvious that they both had known about their best friend’s plans to hang out, not something they could have just forgotten when it hit so close to home. “Do you usually… hang out with Harry on his birthday?”

“Yeah, always, like… I know he doesn’t wanna hurt me though, it’s fine, he even apologized, offered that I could come too, but… whatever. I didn’t even ask what they were doing… “ Who cared anyways, right? Niall had just done a brilliant job of depressing them both, but it was the truth anyways and at least he could finally talk about how much it bothered him. It wasn’t that he wanted to spend Harry’s birthday with his best friend so desperately, he just wished he could have just planned something like that with Liam, without worrying and stuff, but that was never gonna happen now, was it?

“Me neither… “ Liam admitted, his voice quiet before he broke off, as if he was deep in thoughts, but Niall barely even noticed anymore, he was a little bit busier with trying to hold back some stupid tears building up in his eyes. He wasn’t gonna cry now, no fucking way, this was ridiculous. “When’s that anyways, like… next weekend, right?”

“Yeah… “ It was only Monday night, but they had had this planned for like a week already, Harry almost squealing with delight before he had noticed that maybe he should have toned it down a little bit with Niall being in the room.

“That’s… that’s when I’ll have my award show.” Right, Niall had known that as well, but he had no idea why Liam would mention it, they had talked about it quite a bit, the blonde being really interested in how this would go down and Liam seemingly delighted to tell him, but right now, Niall really couldn’t have cared less. Maybe Liam was just trying to change the topic.

“I’ll watch the livestream… “ He mumbled, voice a bit numbed by the pillow, not even feeling embarrassed anymore about saying this, why would he not watch it, right?

There was a pause, a pretty long one, and some sound in the background Niall had no idea what to think of, he was already about to sit up, kinda worried what was going on, the brunette man’s name already on his lips to ask whether he was alright and why he wasn’t answering, when suddenly, he did. With a really strange voice as well, kind of quiet, too slowly. “Niall… do you have like… a suit or something?”

“What? No, I don’t, why?” What was going on, why would he ask that? The blonde did sit up for real now, letting out a very unamused laugh out of confusion. “D’you wanna marry me or something?”

“No, I just… “ Then Liam took a breath, not giving Niall any chance to prepare himself really, but if he hadn’t known better, he would have said that Liam was smiling as he continued. “Just… I can’t take my date to an award show when they’re wearing jeans, you know.”

“ _What?!_ ” What the hell?! What did he mean?! Had he just.. oh god, had he just… fucking asked Niall if he wanted to come?! Oh, god, he had lost his mind. “Liam, what… what do you mean, we… we can’t do that, everyone would see us, everyone would think we… everyone would know who I am, I-“

“Yeah… exactly.” He almost sounded relieved, letting out a laugh that Niall barely even registered, he was just sitting there in bed, up straight, staring into almost complete darkness, ears ringing and eyes wide as he resisted the urge to pinch himself. Was this… really happening?! “Unless you… you changed your mind about the whole fake dating thing, but… well, fuck it, I’m in if you wanna do it.”

“ _Are you fucking serious?!_ ” Liam was probably deaf now, but Niall had no time to worry about that, his heart jumping about fifty billion times faster than ever before, he didn’t even know what he wanted to do, laugh or cry or jump or everything at once, just… holy shit, where had that change of mind come from?! “Liam… you… you better not be fucking with me right now, I… “

“Trust me, Nialler, I wouldn’t dare.” His voice sounded amused, almost as if he felt relieved or something and maybe he was, he had seemed close to giving in at the beginning already, but… never in a million years would Niall have thought that Liam was gonna change his mind so randomly, in the middle of the night, like… this couldn’t be fucking real. “So, is that a yes?”

“Fuck… I don’t think you need an answer to that, Li.” There was a laugh after Niall had somehow managed to choke this out, he knew he should have felt stupid for being so bloody emotional and as if he had just won the lottery, but… but how could he have not?! He was gonna see Liam _next weekend_ for crying out loud! 

Maybe everything would be fine after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was so fucking pumped to upload this i cant believe im FINALLY getting to the fake dating part?? this was supposed to be the main plot and if i enjoy this too much this story will probably get a bit too long. im trying to keep it at a maximum of 19 or 20 chapters though, just so you know :p
> 
> anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! ive almost been here for 2 years now and its been one of the best decisions ever i think. just wanna say thank you to you all for reading my fics, i say this a lot but i really do appreciate every single comment, every single kudo and every single hit because it just means so so much to me that anybody actually likes what i write down as a hobby and that we all share the same love for niam.  
> its so nice coming online and seeing all the nice things you guys have written in the comments, its really kept me going on some days and never failed to make me smile and i cant thank you enough because i know not everybody that writes fics gets to experience so many lovely readers! so thank you, genuinely, i really love talking to you guys and how much you enjoy my fics, how some of you leave me such sweet comments underneath every single chapter and stick with me and are excited whenever i upload a new story, it makes me really happy to think that people actually wait for my updates and want to know how my stories will continue and idk... i guess now that its a new year im getting emotional haha. just know that i love you guys and im very grateful for every single one of you, whether you've ever left me a comment or kudos or both or neither, thank you for reading! :)
> 
> i hope everyone of you will have a good new year because you're all very lovely people!


	15. Chapter 15

Niall’s heart was beating fast and he didn’t even know why. Sure, he was literally _minutes_ from seeing Liam, but there was a whole lot of other stuff going on that had him feeling slightly insecure and should have probably not left him feeling as excited as he did while getting off the train, almost missing the last step because of how little attention he had been paying. Who would have ever thought that just a few days could feel like a whole damn year?

They hadn’t told anybody what they were going to do except for Louis and Harry and what Niall assumed was Liam’s manager. The blonde didn’t know what Louis thought about all of this, but he still had a pretty clear image of what Harry’s face had looked like as Niall had just blurted out with it, in the middle of a lecture, still high from having talked to Liam on the phone all night, not having slept just one minute after the brunette had agreed to his plan. Yeah, Harry had been more than just surprised and shocked, but after his usual ‘ _Niall, do you know how dangerous this is, do you know what’s gonna happen when you get back?!_ ’, he had had a crooked smile on his face as he had asked the blonde if he still had enough condoms to last a whole weekend. Niall had only laughed at that comment, nothing could have brought down his mood anymore now.

Of course they had somehow worked out a plan, or Liam had at least, but since no one was really able to predict what was going to happen after tonight, Niall tried not to think too much about it, tried not to worry because Liam was probably worrying enough for the both of them already. Still, he had never had a moment of hesitation anymore during the last few days, or maybe he was just good at hiding his doubts if they did exist. Hopefully not though, because the younger boy was determined to go through with this now, this was the only solution and sooner or later everyone would find out anyways, wouldn’t they?

Also, Liam had admitted that he had been playing with the thought of just saying yes from the moment Niall had left, getting both of them to run a bit short of words, still embarrassed about admitting how much they were really missing each other after being apart for such a short time. Maybe Niall should have truly been worried about that, but then again… what did it matter anyways, they were fucking crazy for what they were about to do, the reasons behind this weren’t what should have worried him the most here.

Since it was Saturday evening, there were quite a few people at the train station, seeing as it was London and all, but Niall didn’t take too long to find Liam’s driver, the one who had also picked him and Harry up three weeks ago, because Paddy obviously still hadn’t taken a liking to Niall. God knows what he was about to say to Liam after tonight, not that Niall cared too much, he just hoped Liam didn’t either.

“Hey, what’s up?” The blonde couldn’t help his good mood and the stupid grin on his face as he greeted Liam’s driver with a handshake, probably coming off a little bit hyper, but who cared about that anyways, if the traffic allowed it, he’d be able to kiss Liam really fucking soon. 

“Good evening, Mr. Horan, shall we?” Being called that almost caused Niall to cackle a bit, but he kept it down though, making sure to throw his bag into the drunk before getting into the passenger seat, quickly sending a text message to Liam to tell him that he was in the car, his heart skipping a beat when the older man texted back like 5 seconds later, only with a smiley face. Fuck, how had Niall survived such a long time without seeing Liam?! “Mr. Payne told me to give this to you.”

“Oh, what’s that? Thanks.” Niall was only confused for a moment as the driver reached into the backseat as soon as he was unsurprisingly forced to stop the car very soon, handing over a paper bag for the blonde to take.

For a moment, Niall was almost scared that Liam had bought him something expensive again and gave it to him like this so he couldn’t complain, but as soon as he had taken a look inside he bag, the smile on his face immediately came back, his stomach warming a bit as he read the note inside, simply saying ‘ _some snacks for the ride, so you wont starve tonight ;)_ ’. Liam had bought him McDonald’s, no idea if he had somehow sensed that Niall had barely eaten today, but the blonde was suddenly pretty sure that there was no single person on this planet that he liked more than Liam. 

After having texted the older man a thank you, Niall tried to keep it down for a while, feeling slightly bad for eating in the car, but the more often they had to stop because of traffic, the hungrier he got before finally deciding to screw it. Liam had given this to him for exactly that purpose after all, plus, Niall knew that he always gave the driver a pretty big tip to do this anyways. Well, and also, he really was close to starving and though he had no idea about award shows, he was pretty damn sure that he wouldn’t wanna go there only thinking about food.

The drive took longer than expected, the blonde texted back and forth with both Liam and Harry, the younger boy already having left last night, even though his birthday was only tomorrow, but Niall really didn’t question it anymore. Not that he had any interest in what Harry and Louis were doing anyways, he had been slightly jealous about Harry already being with his almost boyfriends since yesterday, but then again, Niall was kinda planning on skipping classes on Monday anyways, so… 

When they pulled into the somewhat familiar driveway, Niall honestly almost thought he wouldn’t be able to sit still anymore for just one more minute, he could literally see Liam’s house right there and it suddenly seemed so ridiculous that he was still sitting in that car, pretending to be calm, when in reality, he was about to jump out and just run the last few meters. As if he would have gotten there any faster like this, but he felt like a whiny child on a too long car ride, which should have made him feel at least a little bit stupid, but somehow it didn’t at all. Especially not because he knew for a fact that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

They were late, Niall could tell not only by the time but also because the first thing his eyes landed on once the car got slower was the fact that Liam was wearing a suit, looking more than just fucking hot while waiting for the blonde, outside, even though it was really bloody cold, yet he was smiling as if it didn’t bother him in any way and Niall was pretty damn sure his heart was gonna refuse to beat any second. Alright, just keep it together, he could do that, play it cool, it wasn’t _that_ big of a deal, right?

Wrong.

To be honest, it was more than just ridiculous, like in some really bad, crappy movie that Niall would have never watched on purpose, but his foot almost got stuck in the car while trying to get out and by then he was so impatient that once he had finally freed himself, faintly hearing Liam’s laughter in the background, the blonde barely even took a look at Liam’s face anymore. He just half threw himself at the older man, ignoring the fact that they weren’t alone, not even allowing Liam to bring out a simple ‘Hi’ but rather immediately crushing their lips together, fingers tightly grabbing onto the back of the older’s suit as he kissed him, hard and desperate.

There was literally nothing on Niall’s mind anymore except for how relieved he was, how his whole body seemed to relax at an instant, pressing into Liam’s, how secure and firm the hands on his hips felt, the way Liam’s lips moved against his and the familiar smell of his cologne filling the blonde’s nose. He had missed Liam even more than he would have ever thought was possible, it seemed impossible now, that he had ever agreed to leave the brunette man without knowing when they’d see each other again, how had he even survived the past three weeks without ever feeling this way? 

“Hi… “ Liam breathed as they pulled apart after what seemed like ages, noses brushing before they pressed their foreheads together, both breathing a bit heavier than before, but it was good, so fucking good that Niall could have screamed from happiness. How could one person make him feel this way, so giddy and happy and safe all at once, it shouldn’t have been possible. “All good?”

“Yeah… “ _Now I am_ , Niall added in his head, but he swallowed that down along with his _I missed you_ , instead keeping his eyes closed for that little bit longer, lingering in the moment, feeling Liam’s warm breath brush over his skin, lips still tingling with the taste of the older man as he kept clinging to him. Pretty sure they would have never pulled apart ever again if there hadn’t been someone clearing their throat right behind them.

“Well, if you two lovebirds are done making out, we gotta get Liam on the red carpet in an hour.” Though the interruption was very unwelcome, Niall allowed Liam to pull away, finally opening his eyes to be met by a soft smile that he couldn’t help but immediately return, not even worried anymore about who had caused them to break apart or whatever that voice had called them for as long as Liam’s arm remained around his waist, keeping him impossibly close. 

“We still have more than enough time.” Liam didn’t seem to be the least bit embarrassed as he answered, turning them a little towards the stairs that lead up to his front door, a woman standing in front of it, looking just slightly annoyed but also somewhat amused. “Niall, that’s my stylist, Lou.”

“Not for much longer anymore if you don’t hurry. Come on now, get in, we gotta find an outfit for your boyfriend.” She threw a quick smile at Niall before turning on the spot, not giving him a chance to answer before already disappearing inside of the massive house, leaving him only confused for about a second, suddenly feeling Liam’s lips against his ear, hot breath brushing over the shell as he whispered.

“She thinks we really are dating, so does my driver, hope that’s okay… “ Well, it was too late for that already anyways, also, they had just made out in front of both of them, so Niall just nodded, his stomach turning just a little bit at the thought. He had kinda expected this already though, that Liam would barely tell anybody the truth, it seemed a lot… safer. 

“Yeah, of course… do I… do I have to wear a suit as well? Like, you look really fucking hot in it, but… “ Niall hated suits, he probably pulled a bit of a face without noticing because Liam laughed loudly, squeezing his waist before leading them both up the stairs, giving some sign to the driver over his shoulder that the blonde barely noticed, he was a whole lot more focused on not stumbling while at the same time trying to stare at Liam like a creep. Just, he hadn’t seen him in real life for quite a bit and now he was looking like _this_ , no one could have blamed him really.

“No, don’t worry, I kinda already guessed that you wouldn’t want to after what you sounded like when I asked.” Right, they had talked about it quite a bit because Niall had had no idea if he even had anything appropriate at all to wear, but Liam had calmed him down, telling him that he didn’t have to bring any clothes because he’d just send someone to get something. Hopefully it wasn’t too awful, the blonde really wasn’t one for fancy clothes. Then again, did it really matter what he was wearing while being next to Liam, looking like a greek god in a suit? Probably not.

“Thanks, I’m kinda too pale for suits anyways.” Which was very true, not that Niall cared, he was just relieved and happy to hear Liam laughing once more, not at all bothered that the older’s hand remained touching him somewhere even while he quickly took his shoes off once they were inside. If everyone thought they were a real couple then they also had to act like it and well, maybe then Niall would be allowed to tease Liam with some pet names as well, only for a laughter of course. “Do I have to have my hair styled as well?”

“Not if you don’t want t-“

“Definitely. Both of you, yours already looks like a mess again.” Liam’s stylist simply interrupted them, almost immediately coming up to Liam to spray his hair with something, barely leaving him any time to even close his eyes. He seemed rather used to it though. “Alright, Niall, hmm… what are we gonna do with you… would have been nice if you had given me some kinda warning a few weeks early, Liam. I had no idea you were in a relationship to begin with.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” The brunette man just grinned and Niall bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t have to laugh, trying to stay serious as Lou kept staring at him, seemingly lost in thoughts for a bit, as if he was a hopeless case or something. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn the oldest sweatpants he had found and run his fingers through his hair like 500 times, but the train ride had been long and Niall had been nervous and excited. “Don’t worry, babe, I won’t let her do anything crazy to you.”

It was obvious, that Liam was trying to act natural, and he did a really good job at it as well, but Niall couldn’t help but freeze a tiny bit at that, being called ‘babe’ so unexpectedly, like, not that he minded or anything, it had just come out of nowhere and he really tried to not let it show, giving Liam a small smile and a nod when the older man threw a worried look at him, of course having noticed immediately. Hopefully this was gonna get easier with time, it did feel kinda nice after all, being this close to Liam, Niall had never minded that anyways, they would just have to do it a bit more, and get used to doing it in front of other people as well. But why would they not manage that, right? Liam was doing it already anyways.

Niall wouldn’t have minded some privacy, but since he had come late, they kinda had to rush everything a little bit, especially because Liam’s stylist seemed to have more trouble picking out clothes for Niall than she seemed to have thought. At least it wasn’t anything awful, she just demanded for him to undress and put things on right then and there while Liam sat on the couch watching and laughing, getting a glare from Lou whenever he told Niall that he looked stunning after every single thing he put on, making Niall grin right before he was ordered to take it off again and try something else. God, if this was how Liam got treated every day, it was a wonder that he hadn’t gone insane yet. 

In the end, Niall wasn’t too unhappy with how he looked like, even though his clothes were probably worth more than he wanted to ever find out and his hair felt a bit weird, but he immediately got scolded whenever he touched it in the slightest way, so he quickly gave up on that anyways. Now though, that this was out of the way, the blonde felt his nerves kicking in just slightly as they got ushered to the car, time having passed a lot quicker than Niall would have thought. Not that he had any doubts, just… he had no fucking idea what was going to happen.

“You alright, Ni?” Was the first thing Liam asked, as soon as the door had been shut behind them, the backseat of the car giving them lots of privacy because of how it was shut off from the front, which was good, because well, first of all, it was nice if it was just the two of them for once, and second, Paddy was sat in the passenger seat and judging by the look he had given Niall, the blonde was pretty sure Liam had told his bodyguard that they were dating for real as well. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just… “ Nervous, a little bit afraid and somewhat excited as well, but Niall didn’t know what to say first so he shrugged, relaxing a tiny bit when he felt Liam’s hand brushing his arm, thumb rubbing over the inside, a comforting smile on the older’s lips. 

“Me too… but it’ll be fine, yeah? I thought it all through, talked to my manager and to Louis, I… it’ll be okay, promise.” He sounded genuine, as if he really believed into what he was saying and Niall felt slightly better, to know that Liam wanted this as well, that he hadn’t just agree because… well, because Niall had been a whiny baby. “And I’m there, okay? I’m used to these things, it’ll be okay, it’s no big deal and nothing can go wrong really, just… just pretend that… “

“That I’m madly in love with you?” Niall joked, his laugh sounding a bit breathless, but seeing Liam’s eyes crinkling up was way worth it. He was probably right, this was no big deal at all, and Niall would have to get used to these things anyways, he was just unsure because this was so different, and usually he had no problem at all in new situations, but it was probably understandable that he was slightly freaked about _this_ , wasn’t it?

“Yeah, exactly. I mean, maybe not too much since we’re in public and all, but… you’d be fine to, uh, hold my hand, right?” He had only hesitated a little bit, face getting a bit more serious and for some reason Niall felt his heart skipping a beat as he nodded automatically, it seemed normal anyways, to do that, right? Since they were pretending to be dating and everything. 

“Of course… and, like… what if you win, should I just… kiss you?” They hadn’t talked about it in that much detail really, but seeing as the car was moving and they were minutes from arriving, Niall couldn’t help but overthink just slightly, even though of course he didn’t know how this was going to go down or anything, it seemed appropriate to consider these things, right? 

“I’m not going to win anyways, but if I do… I guess a kiss would be good, or if you don’t want to, like… just try to look happy and excited or so.” As if, Niall wouldn’t have been excited for Liam to win even if they hadn’t been planning to go through with the fake dating.

“Of course I will, Li, but why wouldn’t you win? I mean… “ Well, Niall didn’t really know how to continue, awkwardly breaking off then, feeling a little bad but Liam just laughed it off anyways, he seemed a lot more confident about all of this than the blonde, which kinda made sense, but it also once again had Niall noticing that the closer they grew, the more did either of them warm up, though in different ways, but still. Liam, who had used to blush all the time around the blonde, had been hesitant to just hug him, and Niall, who had spoken without thinking, even if it had come off rude because he hadn’t cared whether Liam liked him or not, had never taken anything seriously. It was different in so many ways now, and yet they were still the same people, just growing more comfortable with each other, but also… a lot fonder. 

“It’s fine, Ni, never expected to win anyways, I’m up against some great people. But it doesn’t matter, because… we’re gonna have our headlines anyways.” It didn’t sound bitter or anything, actually, when Niall looked over at the older man, Liam was just smiling at him before suddenly turning his head to look out of the window, immediately changing the mood once more. “We’re almost there now… “

“Okay… “ Gulping a bit, Niall tried to be confident about all of this, since Liam seemed to be as well even though it hadn’t even been his own idea, staring down into his lap as he tried to get his heartbeat to slow, kind of a little bit embarrassed now that he was acting this way when he had wanted it so badly, just… only thinking about it was a little bit different than actually experiencing it. 

“Hey… “ Though Liam’s voice was soft and calm, it still caused Niall to jerk just a little bit, not having expected it to be this close or for the older’s hand to come to a rest on his knee, just lightly, to calm him down probably, showing him that he was there. “It’s all good, Niall, nothing will happen. I’ll take a few pictures with the fans, talk to an interviewer or two and you can stay with Paddy while I’m on the red carpet and from there on we’ll just be sitting there until the category I’m in is done and then we’ll leave, okay? It’s no big deal, I promise.”

“I… I know, just… “ Yeah, what? Niall had no idea why he was freaking out now, but what he did know was that his heart stopped for a second when he felt Liam’s lips pressing against his cheek, his face immediately warming up as he turned his head, meeting the older’s familiar, brown eyes. 

“I know. But I’m there, okay? Just hold my hand and stay close, it’ll all go smoothly, trust me.” Niall did, he did trust Liam, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t unsure, though it was a comfort to know the older man would be right by his side most of the time and that Niall wouldn’t have to say just one single word to anyone, but still, just the thought of how months ago he had laughed whenever Harry had tried to shove some celebrity pictures into his face and now… now he was in the bloody middle of this while his best friend was probably lying in bed with the song writer he had been drooling over for years. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good… “ Trying to clear his throat a little and force a quick smile, Niall didn’t mind at all as he felt Liam’s hand moving up higher, not thinking as he put his on top, their fingers somehow threading together automatically though they had never been holding hands like this before. It felt nice though, somewhat calming and apparently, it also turned Niall’s brain into complete mush. It were just the nerves kicking in really badly now, nothing else. “Thank you, Li, for… for agreeing to this, you know, I… I really… I really missed you. Like… the second I got in the car and this is probably really stupid, but I just… it’s true. And Harry’s been telling me I’m crazy, that we… that we both are, but I don’t care, ‘cos I’d pretty much do anything just so we can, you know, spend more time together and… thanks for… for being my friend, I guess. Never thought this would turn out like this, but as complicated as it’s gotten, I… I’m still glad we hooked up after that party and I… I wouldn’t wanna change anything about it.” 

Niall’s rambling was really embarrassing, but he couldn’t have stopped himself, it all just came out like that while his eyes were stuck on their intertwined hands, literally seconds before the car would stop and the blonde had no idea what was going to happen or what he expected Liam to say, all he knew was that he was pretty damn relieved after it was out. Of course this hadn’t been everything, but it was enough to cause silence to fall over them, blood streaming into his face though he didn’t regret what he had said just one bit. It was true after all, maybe not something Niall would have ever thought was going to come out of his own mouth, but… being around Liam had a lot of different effects on him.

“Nialler… “ The blonde almost didn’t catch it, had they not been so close and alone in the backseat, but he still got taken by surprise as he slowly turned his head, barely getting a look on the older’s face before he had already pressed his mouth on top of Niall’s, shortly but very gently, lips still brushing as he whispered. “I missed you too… a lot. And you don’t have to thank me, because… because it’s what I want as well, this, I mean, and I know it’s risky and everything, but… I’ve been wanting to agree the second you suggested the whole thing. I know we’ll be fine, and also… if we were at that party again tonight… I’d be doing the exact same things as back then. Only… I’d probably ask for your number a bit sooner.”

“Good idea… “ Niall chuckled, breathlessly, heart still bumping fast with anxiety, but he felt calmer like this, with their faces so close, breath mixing and still holding hands, it was like a bubble of safety, just for the two of them. One that would burst any second.

“C’mon… let’s do this.” Placing another kiss on Niall’s lips, the brunette man slowly pulled back, his cheeks slightly flushed as he returned the smile the younger boy hadn’t been able to hold back, kinda relieved that at least both of them were slightly blushed now. Of course his heart was still beating ridiculously fast, but when Liam squeezed his hand as the car stopped only a few minutes later, Niall managed to squeeze back, feeling at least a tiny bit more confident to do this.

Of course the blonde somewhat had had ideas about what was going to happen, he wasn’t a complete idiot after all, but it was still kinda overwhelming as they climbed out of the car, immediately being met by noise and screaming and Niall was really glad now that he had attended a few of Liam’s concerts because it had at least prepared him for this. Even if just a little bit.

Liam hadn’t told Niall how he needed to act, hadn’t told him to keep smiling or anything, but the blonde still somewhat tried to match his facial expressions to Liam’s, keeping his head a bit down, his hand already feeling sweaty in Liam’s, but it only prompted him to hold on tighter if anything. Even if the brunette man hadn’t kept him this close, Niall would have pressed himself into the older’s side anyways, feeling more than just hot despite the coldness and the fact that he was only wearing some thin jacket. 

Now there was no turning back, they had done it, stepped into public while holding hands, showed Niall’s face. Though they were just outside the car still for a few more seconds, the blonde was suddenly highly aware of that, that that was the exact moment his identity wasn’t a secret anymore, that even if he had ran away screaming, people would have still found out who he was, who Liam had been snogging at that party and held hands with. That thought was just slightly scary, but also somehow relieving in a strange way, to know that that was it, that there was no turning back now, the decision already made for them.

Since it was slightly intimating to be staring at the fans held back by barriers and the interviewers or any other celebrities Niall should have probably known but didn’t, the blonde settled for looking down mostly, and if he didn’t, he looked up into Liam’s face, finding comfort in the way the older man seemed to be completely calm and not affected in any way. Which was good, because well, he could have also looked like he was regretting agreeing to Niall’s plan all of a sudden.

“Let’s go, we’re already late, keep the interviews short.” As soon as Paddy was next to them, not really paying any attention to Niall luckily, Liam gave him a nod before they slowly made their way towards the fans, the blonde’s smile fading just a tiny bit. He had met two of Liam’s fans before of course, had seen how good he was with them, but this… this was a completely different setting, and also, he was pretty damn sure that probably 90% of them were wondering who the hell that weird blonde boy latching onto Liam’s hand as if he was about to drown even was. “You got two minutes, Liam.”

It didn’t seem like a lot of time at all and Niall felt a bit bad for being relieved, but he his ears were already closing up a bit from the noise, not really wanting to go all the way up to the fans when Liam had so little time anyways, so he stopped where Paddy did as well, slowly attempting to pull his hand out of the brunette’s even if he really didn’t feel like doing that at all.

Almost immediately, Liam turned around to look at him, his stare questioning, as if he was asking if Niall would be alright, so the blonde put up the best smile he could manage, nodding even though he already hated feeling the loss of Liam’s hand in his, his face blushing terribly much as the brunette suddenly leaned in again, unexpectedly pressing his lips against Niall’s forehead, causing the screaming to increase even more if any possible. “I’ll be right back.”

Pretty sure Liam got probably asked, or yelled at, questions about Niall, but the blonde just kinda stood there, frozen, watching with the most unnatural smile on his lips, his thoughts still stuck at the forehead kiss. It wasn’t a weird thing to do for Liam, considering the fact that they were fucking fake dating here, but it had still been unexpected, in front of everyone, and whenever the brunette kissed Niall somewhere that weren’t his lips, the blonde always felt his stomach twist and heat crawling into his cheeks. Just… being kissed on the mouth was one thing, but being kissed somewhere else just because Liam had felt like it was a whole lot different.

The situation felt so unreal to the blonde that two minutes were up even faster than he would have thought, still quite impressed though by how many autographs Liam managed to give and how many selfies he took before Paddy made sure to call him back, luckily not leaving Niall standing there all by himself. Though it had only been for the shortest amount of time, Niall felt himself relaxing incredibly much as soon as Liam’s fingers were interlocked with his again, immediately letting himself fall into the older’s side again for support, lowering his eyes once more in an attempt to calm down, trying to forget where they were at and what was going on. Pretty damn hard with all that screaming going on.

“It’s okay, Ni, I promise, it’ll be fine, they’re gonna be happy for me. For us.” His voice was barely understandable as they kept on walking, but since they were impossibly close anyways, Niall caught like every second word if he tried hard enough, kinda doubting whatever Liam was saying but not really answering though. It wasn’t like that was his biggest concern, that people might hate him or something, right now he would have just been happy if he survived the night without having a heart attack. 

Liam kept on trying to make the blonde feel better, his thumb rubbing over Niall’s, lips pressing against the top of his head occasionally and really, Niall had no idea anymore whether this was for the cameras or not, but he was pretty damn sure that they were definitely looking like a couple right now, the hands holding alone was proof enough of that, the fact that Niall was even _here_. It was kinda funny though, to think that probably now everyone would think the blonde was really shy and quiet, when in reality, he was just trying to only freak out internally and not let it show.

“… and Liam, one last question, since everyone’s wondering, who’s the date you brought tonight?” The interviews had gone quite well, Niall had kept his distance of course, staying next to Paddy just like he had when Liam had gone over the red carpet a few minutes ago, not really speaking one single word but rather trying to somehow take this all in. He was close enough to hear every word though, until now not having worried at all and barely listened, but of course that question caused him to listen up, staring at Liam as he felt all the blood draining from his face. Which was stupid really, because… that’s what Niall was even here for in the first place.

“It’s a good friend of mine.” Liam’s facial expression hadn’t changed at all, he was still smiling, maybe even smirking, always making the interviewers laugh, he was so bloody good at this that it was almost scary. “A really good friend.”

“A friend, or would you say it’s maybe your… boyfriend?” The woman was smiling as well, though she very clearly was dying to hear the answer and Niall almost thought that Liam wouldn’t tell her because he kept her waiting with the exact same grin, as if he was having fun with this.

“I guess you could say that, yeah, he… he is.” There it was, the interviewer’s eyes going wider as she probably realized that she had just struck gold with that confession, seemingly eager to ask the next question while Niall’s heart was continuing to beat in a very unsteady rhythm, barely able to believe that they were really doing this right now. 

“So, did you two spend new year’s together then?” Niall thought it was good that she asked, so no one would ever even consider that Liam had snogged someone else on that balcony, though they probably wouldn’t have anyways, most likely no one would even fucking care anymore what had happened that night because they had all just gotten a whole different story. A way better one.

“Yeah, we did, we-“

“Liam, time to go.” Paddy simply interrupted the interview, obviously not caring at all and Niall already felt anxious to hold the other’s hand again, he would have, had he not seen the camera still being on.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry. Good luck tonight.” The woman gave him another huge smile before she let him go and it only took about one second for Liam to be back by Niall’s side, not threading their fingers together like they had been for so long tonight though, but rather wrapping his arm around the younger’s waist, almost protectively keeping him close, pressing a brief kiss to the side of his head. Well, at least Niall was getting used more quickly to this than he would have thought.

“Do you think that… that they already know who I am?” Not that it really mattered, Niall had quite some trouble speaking loudly enough for Liam to hear, pretty damn fucking relieved when they finally walked inside, because even though the blonde hadn’t done anything besides standing around and pretending to smile, those last few minutes had been pretty damn nerve wrecking for some reason.

“I don’t know, but… it’s done now, yeah? You’re okay, right? It’ll all be fine, we’re gonna be outta here in like an hour or two.” For as long as Niall wouldn’t have to deal with being stared at from every side for that span of time again he would be fine, he was still nervous of course, but knowing that he would most likely not have to part from Liam anymore was comforting to know, also the fact that the older man still sounded confident about all of this, even now that there weren’t any cameras around anymore.

“Yeah, I’m good… just… that was a lot to take in… “ Niall probably shouldn’t have complained, he had been the one to push Liam to do this, but he knew the older man would have never held it against him anyways, so he allowed himself to rest his head against Liam for a second while they walked, letting out a small breath. This was alright, everything would be fine. 

“I know… but I think we’ve done pretty good, you didn’t seem too nervous either, you were great, trust me.” Again, Niall decided to just go along with it, nodding when Liam tried to give him a bit more courage, just trying to believe whatever the older man was saying, even if it was just for the purpose of cheering him up. “And also… you look really nice tonight, just saying.”

“Thanks, Liam… next to you I was probably invisible though.” The compliment had sounded a bit too genuine for Niall to just brush it off or turn it into a joke, Liam usually didn’t say these things and maybe it was stupid but it did cause the blonde to blush a tiny bit. 

“No, you weren’t…. not… not to me anyways.” Right, this was getting embarrassing, Liam had to clear his throat very obviously, his arm still tight around Niall as he leaned forward a bit to ask Paddy something and the blonde allowed himself to smile briefly, happy that the worst part was already over. Hopefully Harry was really busy with Louis right now so that they wouldn’t have any time to follow these events online. Then again… Niall was more than sure that his best friend would be more than just informed about tonight anyways once they got back to college, because, well… everyone would be, even people who he had never even met in his entire life.

Everything went rather smoothly after they had gone sinde, the blonde didn’t mind at all to just stand there next to Liam, either feeling his arm around him or holding his hand while the older man talked to some people he knew, only briefly making some smalltalk though, obviously not so keen on it anyways, because he seemed rather relieved when they had finally found their seats, which, to Niall’s slight displeasure, were located in the front. Not that it really mattered or anything, he would have to get used to the attention anyways, he had known what was going to happen the second he had stepped out of the car after all.

“This is the most boring part.” Liam still hadn’t let go of Niall’s hand, pulling it over into his lap as if it was the most normal thing in the world and the blonde decided not to think about it, it did feel rather nice after all. “Once it starts, we gotta try and look somewhat animated, especially whenever somebody performs, okay? Like… stand up or something, whatever you want really.”

“I’m glad you’re not performing… “ Niall mumbled, more to himself than to Liam but it caused the brunette to let out a quick laugh anyways, they had to keep rather close because it was so loud and everyone was still talking, but Niall was pretty sure he actually preferred that anyways. Also the fact that they didn’t seem to be sitting next to anybody Liam knew, not that he was getting possessive now or anything, but… there was no denying that the blonde enjoyed it whenever he and Liam were only paying attention to each other, especially because they hadn’t seen each other in so long and hadn’t really been alone for very long today. 

“Don’t worry, Ni, the chances of me going up on that stage tonight are pretty much zero.” He sounded rather sure about that, causing Niall to feel slightly bad, his eyes scanning people walking past as they talked, once in a while surprised at recognizing somebody, thinking about how jealous Harry would have been had he known. Had it gone after Niall, he would have luckily switched Liam’s and Louis’ careers and have his best friend sitting here now. 

“Why? I think you’d deserve to win.” Of course Niall thought that, he would have been a pretty bad fake boyfriend had he not, right? He was pretty proud of himself for even knowing the category Liam was in, something he probably wouldn’t have bothered to ask two months ago, but things were kinda different now. “I don’t know any of the people nominated in the same category, so you _have_ to be the best one because even _I_ know you and I don’t think you’re too bad.”

“Very flattering, Nialler, thank you so much.” Chuckling, Liam apparently didn’t notice his thumb once more rubbing over Niall’s, his face was pretty relaxed and happy as the blonde turned his head, immediately feeling himself being affected by Liam’s good mood as well. “We’ll see, I guess, if I do win though… “

“Then I’ll give you the best celebratory blowjob ever, promise.” It had only been supposed to be a joke, just to get Liam’s eyes to go wide and immediately check whether anyone had heard as Niall just laughed it off, suddenly realizing though that sucking the brunette man off didn’t sound like a very bad idea at all. “I don’t think anybody thinks that we haven’t had sex yet, Liam, relax.”

“Right, I… I just wanted to, uh, make sure.” His cheeks were only lightly flushed, giving Niall a strange urge to lean over and kiss the older’s cheek, but he resisted, instead keeping the same grin on his face, the thought of getting out of here suddenly growing more appealing. “You know… thinking about it… maybe a win would be nice after all.”

Lightly slapping the older’s arm with his free hand for that, Niall couldn’t help but chuckle, glad to see Liam’s lips having turned into a smile once more, the crinkles around his eyes showing, face still a bit red from before. “You could have just asked, you know, I didn’t plan on coming here and demanding to sleep in a different room and keep all my clothes on after we’re done here.”

“I’m glad, I was already afraid I might wake up tomorrow without having your elbow in my stomach.” Obviously, it was just a joke, but Niall still pretended to pout, almost turning his head away when Liam leaned in to kiss his cheek as an apology, but he did let the older man go ahead then, just because, feeling his beard scratching against his skin as Liam spoke. “Sorry, that was mean.”

“It was. It’s because you’re a mean bean, Liam.” Though Niall had planned on acting a little mad, he couldn’t really help what slipped out instead, the corners of his mouth twitching as he heard the older one sigh in a purposely exaggerated way.

“You really do love that nickname, don’t you?” Very true, though Niall always managed to blush whenever he used it in normal conversations without trying to tease Liam, he still found it very, very fitting somehow, more than just glad now that he had urged the brunette man to tell him about it a few weeks ago.

“I do… who knows, I might even ask Harry to give me a Twitter crash course and then I can talk to your fans about it.” Actually, the blonde had thought about deleting all of his social media, since he wasn’t using it anyways, but he had never gotten around to do it, expecting the older man to tell him if he should, but somehow Liam reacted kinda differently to this than he would have thought.

“Hmm… you know, actually… you could do that if you want, like, maybe not to talk to my fans about what you like to call me, but… if you post a selfie of us once a while, I’m sure they’d love you. I mean, not that they wouldn’t otherwise, because I’m pretty they will, but… if you want to, you know, I wouldn’t mind.” Shrugging, the brunette had suddenly caused the mood to get a lot more serious, Niall half expected it to be a joke, but when their eyes met, Liam still seemed to mean it. 

“Oh, I… I mean, maybe… I’ll think about it. But then you have to follow me or it’ll be embarrassing.” Niall wasn’t even trying to make Liam laugh, he really did mean it, but the brunette man’s face lit up anyways, chuckling as he let go of the younger’s hand to wrap his arm around his shoulder’s instead, pulling him as close as the armrest between them allowed.

“That been your plan all along, huh?” He joked, his lips brushing the blonde’s head as Niall rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the goosebumps raising on his arms at the feeling of Liam’s breath as he leaned even closer, only in case they were being watched, of course.

“You caught me, Li, I only pretended not to know you when we met, I’ve been waiting to ask you for a follow for months now.” Funny thing was, Niall could have actually seen Harry doing something like this, maybe not letting it get this extreme, but still. 

“I knew it.” Had there ever been any seriousness in their conversation, it had completely vanished by now, Liam’s mood seemed to be even better than Niall’s actually, he was so relaxed and carefree, laughing and easily keeping the younger boy close, it kinda seemed natural to Niall to just rest his head against the older’s shoulder after pulling a face at him, struggling to suppress his own smile. “But don’t worry, I think you really earned it by now. And I kind of like you as well... I think... so…. “

“Thanks so much, Li, very charming.” He was such an idiot, but Niall didn’t even manage to pout for just one second because Liam had already dropped a kiss on the top of his head, which apparently was his new hobby or something, squeezing the younger boy as he laughed, letting Niall feel the vibrations going through his body since he had his head right there.

“You’re welcome, babe.” There had been no need for Liam to call him that right now, but it didn’t sound strange or anything, so Niall decided to just go with it, since he would be hearing this a lot anyways, and maybe he wasn’t even too surprised with himself when he realized that he was kinda looking forward to that. They had had to be so careful, it was nice being allowed to be like this now, that was all, there was nothing else to this. 

They kept joking around and talking for a while, even once the show started, but of course limiting the conversation then, still managing to have a rather good time despite the fact that Liam had predicted that it was going to be really boring. At one point some photographer took a picture of them and Niall felt pretty stupid for worrying about the fact that they hadn’t really been touching later, like… not like Liam had literally said in an interview that the blonde was his freaking boyfriend or anything.

Liam’s category came somewhere in the middle, when Niall hadn’t really been expecting it, but as he threw a look over at the brunette man, he could tell that despite his pessimism, Liam was still kinda hoping that he was going to win. If he didn’t, then Niall would just make sure to give him an even _better_ blowjob than he had promised before, holding his hand tightly, just in case.

There definitely was some anticipation and a very dramatic pause as they were about to announce a name and the blonde was suddenly really sure that Liam wasn’t going to win, already planning on what he was going to say, feeling his heart dropping a little bit at the thought of seeing Liam sad even though he was pretending that he didn’t even care at all, very badly giving himself away with about every word he said. “I mean… it’s not that important anyways, I won a lot of other things, like… who cares, right? I guess I know who will win anyways, I think either-“

“Liam Payne!” Well, and then this happened.

First of all, neither of them really realized what was going, Liam had been busy giving reasons why he wasn’t gonna win and Niall had been trying to think of things to do and say in case the brunette turned out to be right. Suddenly though, there was a whole bunch of clapping and screaming and their eyes met and Niall kind of panicked inside, not really knowing whether to smile or clap, so naturally… he just grabbed Liam’s face and crashed their lips together, pretty hard as well, maybe not very appropriate for live television, but… it was too late now anyways.

Their teeth kind of clashed and it hurt a little bit, the adrenaline not really causing Niall to feel it though, he was just glad that he remembered to pull away in time, immediately being met by a huge smile plastered all across Liam’s face as he was about to get up, his lips a little bit redder than before, squeezing the younger’s hand firmly before letting go, his whole expression having lightened up, probably more than Niall had ever experienced before. Thank god he had won.

There was nothing but happiness bubbling inside of Niall as he watched Liam getting on stage, though he was left behind by himself, knowing that he had just kissed Liam _live_ on _TV_ , his lips were curled into the biggest, stupidest grin ever, the whole night suddenly seeming a whole lot more surreal than it already had before, seeing Liam speaking up there, how happy he was, not even questioning how he ended his speech, even if he hesitated. It seemed normal by now.

“And I… I also wanna thank my boyfriend, Niall, thanks for being here, love, and… we’re definitely gonna be celebrating this later tonight.” Oh, they _definitely_ were.

 

\----------

 

Liam’s lips were already hurting as Niall pulled away, both running short of breath as they panted, still allowing themselves to smile at each other even though they both looked like hot messes already, after only ten minutes of being back home. Well, they had kinda already started their make out session in the back of the car though, so maybe it was somewhat understandable that Liam felt like he was about to faint. In a really good way though.

“Hmmm… do you wanna… have your… present now?” Immediately knowing what the blonde meant, Liam felt his cheeks getting even hotter than they had already been to begin with, still nodding immediately though, making Niall grin right before dipping his head down to suck at Liam’s neck, pressing his hips into the older man’s as he was still straddling his lap on the bed. “Fuck… you look so bloody hot in that suit, Liam… “

Had the older man not been busy trying not to bust from just this, he might have given the compliment right back, however everything that was really leaving his mouth right now were pants and quiet moans, holding on so tightly to the blonde that he was probably already hurting him on accident. If he did though, then there never came any protest, Niall just kept on working his already sensitive skin, marking him up because it literally didn’t matter anymore if anyone would see or not.

Liam hadn’t checked anything online yet, hadn’t talked to anybody about tonight really and he also wasn’t exactly planning on it. He had been very nervous for tonight, had had worries throughout the whole week after having told Niall that he had changed his mind, but the blonde’s excitement and happiness about it had made it very hard to maintain these seconds thoughts. Not that Liam would have ever taken it back, he had wanted this, as much as the blonde, he had simply been trying to be mature and responsible.

After talking to Niall on the phone though, after not seeing him for so long with no chances of changing that any time soon, Liam had suddenly decided to screw that though, like, everyone was talking about him already, what did it matter right? Well, and maybe, just _maybe_ , he had really wanted to make Niall happy, because he had sounded so beaten down on the phone and like… what else had they been supposed to do? 

Louis had called Liam crazy, of course again starting with his stupid theories, but frankly, Liam had stopped caring, he knew that after tonight all of that was just going to get even worse, but it would have to calm down eventually, right? And who cared what Harry and Louis thought about it anyways, they were already thinking that Liam and Niall were madly in love or something, and now that they actually had to act like it, this was gonna get a lot harder to ignore.

Still though, Liam hadn’t minded holding Niall’s hand at all, and kissing him so many times, keeping him close, because it had been very obvious that the blonde had been really nervous, making Liam feel insanely protective, also because of the situation of course, the way this was all new for Niall, so Liam had been trying to be extra comforting, making sure to have Niall in reach at all times. They had had a good time though, especially after Liam had actually won and had kinda panicked after going off stage, immediately sending Paddy to get Niall so he wouldn’t have to be alone for too long. 

Well, and the rest of the night had somewhat gone like right now, with them being all over each other from the moment they had gotten back in the car, everything having gone a lot more smoothly than Liam could have hoped for. He hadn’t really planned on specifically calling Niall his boyfriend on stage, or saying his name, but then again, that’s what they had been there for, and also, why else would he have taken him there, right?

“Would you… would you be mad if I… if your suit rips a bit? ‘Cos I don’t know how much... how much longer I can stand to see you fully dressed… “ Niall sounded as short of breath as Liam felt, the older man almost felt like fainting as he laughed, which quickly turned into more of a groan though as the blonde bit down on his neck, fingers playing with the buttons of Liam’s shirt, his tie and Niall’s jacket long having been thrown somewhere to the floor. 

“No… fuck that suit… “ Had Liam been able to think more clearly, he would have already managed to get Niall out of his own clothes, aching to touch his bare skin, get his hands all over Niall’s body, not having been able to do so for so long. Seemed like Niall wasn’t really interested in letting him do that any time soon though. “Niall… Nialler… you don’t have to, you-“

“I want to do though.” Liam had never really taken that… celebratory blowjob that seriously, but as the blonde slowly climbed off of his lap, kissing his lips once more before fully getting onto his knees in front of the bed, in between Liam’s legs, the brunette man really didn’t feel capable of stopping him anymore. He was already achingly hard from them rubbing against one another and the thought of having Niall’s lips around his dick already seemed like too much to even imagine. “Congratulations on the win… “

“Thanks, babe… “ The name just slipped out, but Liam barely noticed, his fingers curling into the blonde’s hair as he watched him undoing his belt and zipper, a cheeky grin playing around his lips, maybe as a consequence to Liam’s breathing already getting heavy. “Niall… “

“I got it… “ He was teasing, of course, very obviously amused as he briefly looked up at the older man, their eyes meeting for a second before he was back at it again, his hand brushing unnecessarily much over Liam’s erection, still trapped in his pants, before _finally_ pulling it out, the older man’s fingers grabbing a bit too tightly onto Niall’s hair at the feeling. Shit, how was this night going so well, none of this should have been this easy and felt so good and right and yet here they fucking were. 

The second Niall’s hand wrapped around him, Liam’s eyes fell closed automatically, one hand bunched into the sheets underneath him, his whole body feeling flushed and hot as he tried to keep it down for now and not fuck up into the blonde’s fist like he wanted to, instead squeezing his legs around the younger boy where he was kneeing on the floor. It wasn’t fair, how good Niall was with both his hands and his mouth, how was Liam supposed to last?!

Niall only went slow at first, because he loved to get Liam desperate whenever he was the one in charge, which wasn’t that often really, but definitely something he was more than just good at, knowing exactly where and how to touch Liam to push him right to the edge before suddenly slowing down again, getting more than just one desperate whine out of him. His thumb was rubbing over the tip, spreading the wetness that had already ruined Liam’s boxer shorts for quite a while with Niall having been on his lap for so long, hand doing a full strong then before coming back up, making a wet sound each time and Liam was pretty dang sure that if he had opened his eyes to watch, he would have cum right then and there.

As he felt the younger’s breath on his erection, Liam couldn’t hold back a moan anymore, scared that Niall would pull off right away again, but he didn’t, his tongue only lightly licking at the tip while he was still jerking Liam off, pulling back the foreskin to nib at the sensitive red flesh, causing Liam to keen a bit embarrassingly high. “Love how much you’re enjoying this… “

“Hmm… “ Was all Liam brought out, desperately keeping his eyes pressed shut as Niall’s hand slowed down a bit, cupping his balls instead while suckling on the tip now, taking in a bit more before coming right back up, the brunette man choking back an annoyed groan to keep the blonde from teasing him some more, resisting the urge to push his head down a bit. He didn’t want to hurt Niall after all, or force him to do anything, he was just so fucking hard. “Ni… _shit_ … please… “

“’m getting’ to it.” It sounded like a promise, but the chuckle following afterwards got Liam a bit frustrated, he felt himself getting sweaty with all these clothes he still had on, not knowing what he was thinking as he blinked his eyes open to stare down at the younger boy working his length, with his hot mouth and tongue, fingers still tugging on his balls because he knew exactly how crazy Liam went for that.

Just when Liam thought the boy would make him cum like that, he suddenly felt himself enveloped into wet heat, eyes rolling back into his head, not able to stand watching Niall’s mouth stretching over his dick if he wanted to hold back. Though he wasn’t able to fully take him, the blonde knew how to work the rest with his hand, bobbing his head only slowly, second hand coming up to keep Liam down after he had involuntarily thrusted up into the blonde’s mouth, causing him to gag just lightly. Not that that would have caused him to pull off, and Liam would have honestly felt bad, but it was pretty hard to do so when the blonde was sucking him off like that, hand moving in time with his mouth.

“Good yeah?” When the blonde pulled off for just a second, continuing with these bloody kitten licks, tracing the veins, Liam thought he was going to go insane, scared that he might actually rip some of Niall’s hair out or something.

“Y-Yeah… yeah, just please… don’t stop… “ Begging always seemed to work quite well actually, Liam knew for a fact that Niall liked it whenever he had the brunette at this point, and though he let out a laugh, placing a kiss against the tip, hand still wrapped around Liam, the older man almost let out a breath of relief as Niall’s lips wrapped back around him, taking him in a bit deeper than before, head bobbing a bit faster. “Fuck… aaah… _yeah_ …. Just… just like that…. _Niall_ … ‘m gonna… “

The blonde didn’t answer, to Liam’s relief, just kept sucking him off, patting his thigh though as an indication to go ahead, Liam’s dick hitting the back of his throat now even though Liam knew that Niall had a pretty bad gag reflex, not having any time though to thank him obviously, because everything that came out of his mouth was just a moan consisting of the blonde’s name. Not being able to hold back, heat coiling in his stomach, Liam felt himself letting go as Niall went even faster, the combination of his hand and mouth almost making it feel as if though the brunette man was inside of him as he had his eyes pressed closed once more.

“ _Oh god_ … “ Was all Liam moaned out as he was pushed over the edge, the blonde working him through his orgasm just like he always did as he came down his throat, not even pulling a face or losing his rhythm during the older man’s orgasm, dragging it out that bit longer, as if he wanted to make sure to suck every single drop out of him. He probably did.

Liam’s breath was going fast as he slowly came down from it, sweat dripping down his temple as he let himself fall back onto the bed, eyes still closed and Niall’s lips remaining around his softening dick, licking him clean until Liam let out another whine, feeling a little oversensitive now. But holy shit, he had definitely never had a celebration quite that good after winning an award.

“Niall… “ Feeling too weak to sit up and check what the blonde was up to, Liam was relieved as he felt the mattress giving in a few seconds later, feeling Niall crawling up next to, without a shirt now and a pretty proud smile on his face as he laid down in the crook of the older’s arm, staring down at him, lips almost obscenely swollen as Liam ran his thumb over them, feeling a bit light headed. “Thank you… “

“You earned it, don’t worry.” Niall laughed, his hair pretty messed up and Liam could feel the blonde’s hardness pressing against his thigh as he scooted even closer, fingers popping the last few buttons of Liam’s shirt until it fell fully open, allowing him to run his full palm over the brunette’s stomach and chest, just slowly, not really as if he had any more intentions. Or maybe he did, because he suddenly leaned in, breath brushing over the shell of Liam’s ear and giving him goosebumps as the younger boy almost purred, hand still resting on his stomach. “I mean… if you could go again though… I wouldn’t be mad if you fucked me.”

“Just… give me a second and I will, promise.” Judging by how Niall’s lips were already back against his half a second later, Liam knew that it was probably going to go faster than he thought, for now only slowly making out with the blonde though, letting him rub against his thigh as Niall moved a leg between the brunette’s, the kiss not desperate though but rather lazy, sweet and Liam found himself not ever wanting to stop. 

The night had gone so much better than he could have ever thought or hoped for, Niall had been noticeably nervous, but Liam was pretty sure that that was going to pass with time. It was kinda strange, how unsure he had been about all of this just a week ago, but later, when Niall had fallen asleep, agreeing for Liam to be the bigger spoon after moaning his name for the past few minutes as Liam had fucked him, the brunette man wasn’t even nervous as he pulled up twitter, making sure not to wake the blonde as he checked what people were saying about tonight.

It were mostly good reactions, of course there were always those few negative ones, but Liam had learned to ignore them, smiling at a few pictures he saw of himself of Niall, and the text message Louis had sent him, only consisting of a ‘Congratz, mate… ;)’, relief spreading inside of him even though he had never been genuinely scared about the fans hating Niall or anything. They’d love him, Liam was pretty sure of it, simply because… how could they have not?

Maybe it was his sleepiness overtaking, or the fact that he suddenly felt so genuinely happy and comfortable lying there with Niall, but Liam decided to make sure that really _everyone_ knew that Niall belonged to him, knowing that he was probably being a bit risky as he posted one of the pictures of the two of them ([x](http://68.media.tumblr.com/16c6f9eaff5a4115f153972193615440/tumblr_inline_o0lrza5XhE1rggmxj_500.jpg)), trying to go easy on the caption though before locking his phone without waiting for reactions, arm winding back around the blonde’s waist as he allowed his eyes to fall closed, face pressed into the back of Niall’s neck.

Who would have ever thought that pretending to date Niall would cause Liam to go to sleep with a smile on his face, for the first time feeling like the whole mess they had gotten themselves into would really turn out to be just fine?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading once again! :) theyre finally fake dating i cant believe it haha!
> 
> if you guys might have noticed i got some of my photoshop skills (not really) out to make an edit for what liams instagram post looked like and i made a few more so let me know if i should keep adding them or not? idk, i just thought itd be fun! 
> 
> hope everyone liked the new chapter, let me know!


	16. Chapter 16

**Has Liam Payne found the one?**

_Only a few weeks after the british singer got captured kissing an unidentified man at a New Year’s party, sparking a wide range of rumors about who the blonde might have been, Payne has now decided to show his boyfriend off at last night’s award show. Not only did he confirm his relationship with the other man, but also mentioned him in his acceptance speech after winning ‘best male artist’ the second year in a row, even posting a picture of the two of them together on Instagram._

_Payne’s boyfriend is believed to be Niall Horan, a college student, who has also been photographed during the popstar’s world tour. Fans of the singer have found Horan’s Twitter through Payne’s close friend and song writer Louis Tomlinson (27). It is unclear how Payne and Horan met and how long they have kept their relationship a secret, but we wish them all the best! Check out how cozy they have gotten last night during the ceremony._

 

“Well, I definitely like this one a lot better than the ones before… “ Niall’s voice was sleepy and raspy as he finished reading the article on Liam’s phone, his head on the older’s bare arm, still looking like he would fall back asleep any second. “Can’t believe they figured it all out so fast… like who I am and stuff, wouldn’t be surprised if they had gotten my exact birth time or somethin’… “

“They probably will soon.” It was only a joke, but Liam only knew too well that that was only the beginning, not that he minded, for as long as Niall was okay with it, Liam would be too. He had actually felt really good waking up an hour ago, with the blonde curled into his side, arm draped over his stomach, sleeping soundly and making the brunette man smile for some reason. Who would have thought that the whole fake dating thing would turn out to be such a brilliant idea? Liam should have really agreed earlier. “But I almost only found nice reactions, ‘m pretty sure the fans love you already, they are all going on about… about how good you looked last night and everything.”

“Do they really?” Chuckling a bit, Niall had closed his eyes once more, pressing himself even closer into Liam while the brunette man kept scrolling through his phone, occasionally answering some text messages from people he knew asking about last night. Well, except for the one from his mother, he wasn’t quite sure yet what to tell her like… almost everyone thought that they really were a couple, would it be so bad if he led her to believe the same just to make her happy?

“Of course… I told you that you looked great, Ni.” Like, _really_ good, but Liam of course couldn’t say that, his cheeks were already getting hot at just that, trying not to think too much about last night because it might have caused him to do stupid things like leaning down to kiss the younger boy senseless or something. It was only in the morning, they had the whole day. 

“Thank you… you too, bean.” There wasn’t even the hint of a joke in his sleepy voice and though Liam’s stomach turned a little bit, he didn’t really mind the nickname out of Niall’s mouth anymore, after all, he was clearly not using it to tease him or anything, it was rather… fond, actually. “I didn’t even know Louis refollowed me on Twitter… I really do need a crash course or something… and by the way, what picture are they talking about?”

“Oh, the one this guy took of us, remember? I posted it on Instagram last night after you fell asleep… seems like the fans liked it.” Even more than Liam would have thought, it made him really happy that everyone seemed to be excited for him, he hadn’t been in a relationship in ages after all, he had kinda worried once a while what it’d be like if he did meet someone, but he wouldn’t have ever dared hoping for a reaction like this. Of course that didn’t immediately mean that everything would be fine, like no one knew what was going to happen once Niall went back to college or anything, but for now, Liam was just really glad that they were together, in bed, feeling well and having brought last night behind them with success. “I… I’m really glad I agreed, like… I should have probably done it sooner, if I had known it’d turn out like this, but… I’m happy we did it.”

“Me too… and it’s alright, Li… I mean, it did seem like a pretty irresponsible idea, I suppose, like... not that I know how any of this works, but judging by how fast they found out my full name and everything… “ He didn’t seem like he regretted it though, or as if he really cared about the dimensions this could take, Liam was actually pretty certain that Niall only admitted these things now because it was too late anyways. Not that he cared, he had always felt… flattered almost, that the blonde had been wanting to do this so badly. “None of my friends at college have texted me yet though, so I suppose it won’t be that big of a deal after all… if anybody asks me for your autograph though… what do I say?”

“If it’s not hundreds of people I can do it, no problem, okay? Like, the only thing we gotta be careful about is private stuff, but we’ve been careful about this ever since we met, so… it’ll be fine, I hope. And I trust you, so it’ll be alright, if anything happens then just call me and we can figure it out.” Liam couldn’t really think of anything right now, like, if Niall’s friends had no idea about anything, then maybe it would really only be limited down to a few people who even cared at all. How amazing would that be, them getting away with this so freaking easily?

“Okay… don’t worry, though, I know how to make sure I don’t get bothered by annoying people. And I know how to keep my mouth shut, too.” The smirk in his voice was rather obvious, though his face was hidden due to the fact that he had it pressed against Liam’s bare skin, every breath of his causing goosebumps to rise along Liam’s arm. “So… do you have anything to do tomorrow?”

“Not really, actually, why?” Confused for a moment, the brunette couldn’t really grasp a clear thought as Niall suddenly started stirring until he was able to lift his head, leaning onto his elbow, other arm still resting somewhere on Liam’s stomach as he smirked down at him, hair a complete mess and eyes still a little smaller due to the fact that he had only just woken up.

“’cos I’ve been thinking and… I think Monday is a pretty good day to skip class, you know.” Oh, of course this was where this was going, Liam knew he shouldn’t have supported the younger boy neglecting his education, however it was just too hard to ignore the immediate excitement spreading in his stomach, trying to suppress the smile that was about form on his lips. “Only if you allow me to stay of course.”

Rolling his eyes at the last remark, Liam reached out without thinking, fingers brushing back a few stray strands of the blonde hair, trying not to give away how easily he’d be to convince. He’d have to at least try to make Niall change his mind and go to class instead, it kinda seemed like his responsibility as fake boyfriend, right? “Of course I would, but… I don’t want you to miss something at college or anything, like, something important you’ll need later for when you’re studying or so.”

“It’s only one day, I’ve skipped a whole week before and I’m still doing somewhat alright. Besides… “ The growing, very cheeky, grin on the blonde’s face couldn’t mean anything good, Liam barely had time to just swallow before Niall had already leaned down, causing the brunette’s hand to slip from his hair down to the back of his neck, Niall’s lips brushing his jaw for a moment as he half whispered into his ear. Damn, he _really_ knew how to convince the older man at an instant. “I wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyways, ‘cos I don’t think we got done celebrating last night.”

“We… we didn’t?” Liam felt slightly breathless, blindly grabbing on the younger’s hand on his stomach while squeezing his neck slightly, in his mind already having agreed anyways, he wasn’t even sure if he would have been able to say goodbye to Niall tonight. They had literally only been together for less than a day, since Liam had told the blonde he should still go to classes on Friday because he had known Niall had had something to hand in and by the time he had gotten out, there hadn’t been any trains left.

“Nope… “ His whisper was barely understandable, but the older man didn’t question it anyways, heart beating faster as the blonde’s lips moved along his cheek and towards his mouth, one of his legs slowly moving over Liam’s underneath the blankets, right before he kissed him, only lightly, leaving the brunette wanting more. 

“I think… I think skipping classes sounds like a good idea, actually….” There was a chuckle coming out of Niall’s mouth that Liam quickly cut off by tilting his head slightly upwards, pressing their lips back together impatiently. Maybe this wasn’t the right thing to do, but since he had already taken a risk last night, Liam decided that compared to this, letting Niall stay longer was nothing, he was an adult after all, he could skip college whenever he wanted to, right?

Their kiss turned deeper than expected or planned, but Liam immediately went along with it as Niall’s tongue slipped inside his mouth, allowing the boy to move half on top of him, even though they were both still naked, their bare skin brushing, getting the older man more excited than appropriate for only making out for like 5 minutes.

It was good though, slow and warm, and everything smelled like Niall, the shape of his body feeling so familiar to Liam that he had no problem mapping it blindly with his hands, brushing up his arms and down his back before cupping his ass for a second, immediately causing the blonde to groan slightly, his hips pressing into Liam’s, letting him feel his already half hard dick against his own. Shit, this wasn’t at all what the brunette man had expected this morning to be like, but he definitely wasn’t complaining either, he actually loved this more than anything, the fact that they could just do whatever they felt like doing, without any pressure of Niall having to leave again soon. Like, sure, he’d have to go back tomorrow, but there was no need mentioning that Liam had already bought him train tickets for next weekend, right?

As the blanket still covering them and Niall’s warm body pressing him down into the mattress got too hot for Liam, he gently rolled them over, making sure to do it slowly so they wouldn’t have to break their heated kiss, Niall’s arms immediately wrapping around his neck, allowing himself to be manhandled by the older man, making sure to hold on tightly once Liam was on top of him. This was much better, Liam loved to have Niall on top, but he also loved to be the one in charge of course, the cool air hitting his back a welcome refreshment.

Thrusting their hips together more firmly, Liam felt his mouth slipping off of Niall’s, both trying to catch their breath for a little bit as they quietly panted against each other, the blonde’s fingers curled into Liam’s hair, his other hand grabbing onto his biceps as a moan left his mouth, sending sparks down the older’s spine as he started kissing down the blonde’s exposed throat, almost being a bit too euphoric over the fact that he was now allowed to mark the boy up all he pleased. Judging by the sore spot on his own neck though, Niall had probably thought the exact same thing last night already.

Fooling around with Niall in the mornings was always the best, though it was kinda rushed and never really planned for, but they worked out so well together, the younger boy still being a bit sleepy, just clinging to Liam as tightly as he could somehow manage, not trying to hold back any sounds that wanted to leave his mouth. He was always so fucking loud and Liam loved it, how Niall was falling apart underneath him just from Liam sucking on his soft skin and rutting their hips together, the blonde’s legs wrapping around the back of Liam’s thighs to increase the pressure even more, moans being the only thing that left his swollen, spit slicked lips.

“Liam… t-touch me… _please_ … “ The last word was almost only a whine, causing Liam to smirk against the blonde’s throat though his own breathing had gotten quite heavy, the rub of Niall’s dick against his own feeling more than amazing, both of them already wet, creating a smeary mess between both their stomachs.

Instead of answering, Liam kept on working the spot he had created on Niall’s pale skin, massaging it with his tongue before placing more open mouthed down to his collar bones, pushing a hand between their bodies when Niall’s legs fell open once more, giving the older man more space to wrap his fist around the both of them, forced to lift his head a bit, Niall moaning deeply into his ear. “Feel good?”

“Yeah… so good… Liam… “ Niall’s eyes were pressed shut tightly, his face was flushed and hair still a mess from sleeping, but Liam couldn’t help but stare for a moment, with his hand just loosely wrapped around the both of them, only slowly moving it, immediately causing the younger boy to groan in frustration. By now his fingernails had probably scratched Liam’s skin bleeding, but somehow, the brunette man found that he wouldn’t have minded that at all. “Don’t… don’t tease… ‘s too early… “

“Sorry, babe.” Chuckling a bit over Niall’s impatience, Liam forced himself to stop staring down at the boy mindlessly, instead moving his hand a bit faster, hips thrusting up into his own grip, the feeling of his erection being trapped against Niall’s, the blonde’s moans filling the air almost too good to be true. God, they’d never get dressed today, would they?

It quickly turned even messier than it had already been to begin with, as both of them were getting close, the kiss they shared turning out to be more them just panting heavily against one another, precum mixing and making the glide of Liam’s hand even smoother, his belly tightening as his thrusts got more desperate, chasing his own orgasm but wanting Niall to come first anyways. Judging by the sounds the younger boy was making underneath him, he was close to dying or something.

“C’mon… I know you’re close… “ Liam brought out between gritted teeth, trying to hold back as he opened his eyes, closely watching Niall’s face as he swiped his thumb over the slippery head of the blonde’s erection, nail catching in the slit and that’s what had Niall coming apart completely, his mouth falling open, back arching as far as that was possible as he spilled over Liam’s hand, adding to the mess they had already created. “ _Shit_ … “

“God, Liam… aaah… “ Seeing Niall like this was so fucking hot, he looked ridiculously attractive like this, proper fucked and sweaty and flushed underneath Liam, almost biting his lip bleeding as he rode out his orgasm, Liam’s hand moving even faster now, the sight of the blonde boy experiencing his high pushing him over the edge as well as he worked them both through it.

There was barely any air left in Liam’s lunges as he slowly came down from it afterwards, suddenly feeling a whole lot more relaxed though, almost blissful as he leaned down to press a sloppy kiss against Niall’s lips, not thinking as he buried his face between the blonde’s neck and shoulder, ignoring his sticky hand as he pulled it out from between them. He’d have to change these sheets at some point anyways, but probably not before Niall came back again because still smelling the blonde even after he was gone was something Liam enjoyed more than he felt was appropriate.

“Hmmm… that was so good…” Niall voice was sleepy again, but his hand was rubbing over Liam’s back, slowly, as if he wasn’t even aware of doing it, his thumb soothing over the spots his fingernails had probably left marks in from holding on so tightly. “I think… I think we should just stay here, like this… and go again in like 20 minutes… “

“’m gonna need a shower before that though… and some breakfast as well.” Though Liam was slightly amused by the boy’s suggestion, it also caused him to feel a little excited, since he was 99% sure that though Niall might have been joking, he wouldn’t think twice about actually going through with this. Maybe they should have stayed in bed all day, like, why would they have to get up, they had the whole day for themselves and after bringing yesterday’s night so successfully behind them, Liam was pretty sure they deserved it. 

“Yeah… breakfast sounds really good… “ Stilling his hand for a moment, Liam almost thought the blonde wanted him to get off as he started to stir a bit underneath him, in reality though, Niall kept one arm wrapped around the older man before very clumsily reaching out to somehow get the blanket back, unevenly pulling it over the both of them before letting out a rather loud yawn. “Or a nap… “

They probably shouldn’t have as they were both absolutely disgusting, but Liam suddenly couldn’t bring himself to care, especially not while being in a position like this, feeling so comfortable lying on top of the boy, not even being able to just think about having to move. “Yeah… maybe a nap would be fine… “

“Mhmm… “ Was all Niall made, fingers now absently brushing through Liam’s hair, his breathing getting more even and Liam tried to match his own to it, heart still hammering in his chest for now, pretty sure that the blonde could feel it as well considering how tightly they were pressed against one another. 

In the end, Liam wasn’t really sure anymore whether they did fall back asleep after all, he remembered one time nodding off for a bit only to blink his eyes open again to Niall still stroking his hair, neither of them having moved, his face still buried against the side of the blonde’s neck, breathing in his familiar scent. It kinda had a calming effect on Liam, since Niall had slept in his bed for so long, Liam had been able to still smell him days after the blonde had left, and he wouldn’t ever say that out loud, but maybe it had helped him falling asleep once or twice. Then again, almost knowing for a fact that Niall had taken one of Liam’s shirts back to college and not having given it back or even mentioning it maybe didn’t make any of this so weird anymore.

At one point, they did somehow manage to get into the shower, together, of course, because there was no point in going separately when Liam’s bathroom was this massive. Though he had kinda been expecting it, they didn’t really do anything sexual inside the shower though, except for kissing, but the moment Liam got his fingers massaging the blonde’s scalp and washing his hair for him, Niall’s eyes had fallen closed in bliss and they had taken it rather easy.

It was nice, that they could just do this without it being weird, just washing themselves up together, or, washing _each other_ more like, before both grabbing some comfortable clothes to throw on, fixing some quick breakfast just so they could go right back to half lying on the couch in the living room, limbs tangled up as they watched whatever happened to come on the telly. 

Being like this with Niall, just laughing together and eating, always somehow touching the other in whatever way for no reason at all, Liam could somewhat understand what Louis had been trying to say, about how it’d be alright if Liam felt more for the blonde than simply friendship. But like, there was nothing else Liam really wanted besides this though, not really wanting to spend his thoughts on it either or having to worry, he just wanted to enjoy whatever they had after everything had turned out so well.

One thing was for sure though, he could have definitely gotten used to mornings like this, waking up to Niall pressed up against him, showering and having breakfast together, getting to watch the blonde’s face without it being creepy, his legs over the brunette’s lap, hair soft and damp, eyes still looking tired as they crinkled up whenever he laughed loudly at the TV. There was definitely no one in this world Liam would have rather pretended to be dating than this boy right here.

 

\-----------

 

“I can’t believe you allowed them to come over, Li, and that Harry’s skipping classes tomorrow as well… “ Niall didn’t sound very amused as the older man got up off the couch after he had received a text from Louis, throwing an apologetic glance at the younger boy still looking rather comfortable wrapped up in the blanket they had gotten from the bedroom hours ago. “I mean…. it’s fine, it’s his birthday after all, but still.”

“I’m sure they won’t stay long anyways, they probably… have other stuff to get to.” Probably not, but Liam kinda felt a bit disappointed as well, that he’d have to share Niall now and that they couldn’t keep fooling and fucking around on the couch like they had been for most of the day now. But he had had no idea how to tell Louis to fuck off after he had texted Liam asking if they wanted to hang out, and since they would be seeing them again at some point, Harry and Louis could as well come over for a bit. Maybe Niall and Liam needed a break anyways, their lips were still swollen and Niall had admitted he felt slightly sore as well, but how else would they have made the best of their day and the limited time they had left?

“Hopefully. But I guess it’s whatever, I mean, there’s nothing they can ask or bother us with really, everything’s online anyways, maybe they’re just… I don’t know, bored.” Shrugging, Niall didn’t seem to be as bothered as he had right after Liam had asked him whether it’d be alright if Harry and Louis came over an hour ago. Which was good, because there was nothing the brunette man hated more than making the blonde unhappy. “I’ll just start telling them about how we had sex in every room of the house, then they’re gonna flee anyways.”

“Good idea.” Chuckling, Liam fondly ruffled Niall’s hair before moving to get the front door and let their best friend’s inside, a little bit sad about having to leave Niall behind, even though it was literally only for five minutes. It wasn’t his fault thought that he got so quickly attached to the blonde whenever they practically never let go of each other for more than a whole day, was it?

He had been slightly worried for a bit, about how they both had red and purple love bites scattering their necks, how they wouldn’t be able to keep it down in front of the other two and not touch or kiss, but then he had remembered that it didn’t matter anymore anyways. There was nothing they could have done now that would have surprised anybody, so why even attempt to hold back? Sometimes Liam was slightly scared about how careless he had gotten, but it felt way too good as to genuinely be concerned about it, so really, it was whatever at this point.

The other two had taken Louis’ car, the older man having asked Liam whether he could put it in the garage for the time they were here, as if a few hours would do any damage to it or something, so Liam didn’t actually go to the front door to let them inside, but to the door that led to his cars, not at all surprised to find them in the middle of discussing his wealth.

“Why would anyone need this many cars?” Harry obviously wasn’t half as impressed as Niall had been, he actually seemed to be rather disturbed and Liam held back a grin as he was leaning in the doorway, somehow glad to see that they were holding hands. At least then whatever he and Niall were doing wouldn’t overshadow the people who were _really_ in love with each other.

“I don’t know, Liam’s just-“

“Your best friend in the whole entire world and the nicest person you have ever met?” The brunette man suggested, laughing when both of them jumped a little bit, Louis only shrugging though as he had calmed down, a smirk tugging on his lips as he shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I wanted to say. Hey, Li, everything good?” It sounded a little more genuine than expected, they didn’t stop holding hands as they came up the stairs, only when Louis went in for a halfhearted hug and Harry stuck to simply grinning. Not that he had anything against Liam, it was fine, they just really hadn’t talked that much to each other, although Liam was aware that the younger boy probably knew a lot more about him than Liam could have guessed. It was fine though, no big deal. 

“Sure. What about you guys? Oh, happy birthday, Harry.” He had almost forgotten, but Harry took it easily anyways as he thanked him, he actually seemed quite surprised that Liam even knew. “Niall’s really excited that he gets to see you today after all.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is.” Rolling his eyes, Liam felt slightly bad like, he hadn’t intended for it to come out like that, as if he was joking, but it didn’t seem like Harry cared anyways. Well, after all, _he_ had chosen not to spend his birthday with the blonde boy. 

They quickly took their shoes off after Liam had let them inside, locking up the door behind them once more before they walked back to the living room together, the other two holding hands again and though the brunette man kinda wanted to ask what exactly that made them now, but he held back upon realizing that he would be dumb to choose that topic by himself. Especially because it was already starting anyways, Louis’ voice kinda careful though, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to even speak about it. “So… that was a pretty big night last night, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Liam shrugged, not really wanting to say anything, because as Niall had rightfully pointed out before, there was literally nothing that wasn’t online anyways. 

“We saw the pictures and everything, I… you guys made it seem pretty convincing.” Of course everyone was aware what Louis was implying, but Liam simply ignored him, somehow very much convinced that letting Niall tell their friends how they had had sex in every room of the building to make sure they left sooner was a good idea. Not that he didn’t wanna spend time with them, but… he would have preferred to be alone with Niall seeing as the blonde would have to leave again tomorrow. “Congratulations on the win, again, I don’t know why you always think you’re not gonna win when you clearly have the best chances.”

“I don’t know… don’t wanna run around telling people I think I’ll win and then don’t.” That’d be pretty stupid now, would it? Besides, Liam had genuinely thought he wasn’t gonna win anyways, more thinking about whatever else was going to happen that night to be honest. “Do you guys wanna have anything to eat or so? Me and Niall haven’t really had anything either.”

“How’d you train him this quickly, usually he’s complaining nonstop about being hungry.” Harry joked, loudly enough for the blonde boy to hear as they were literally meters away from the couch Niall was lying on, not even bothering to look up though, maybe as a kind of protest or something.

“Oh, shut it, Haz, ‘m pretty sure I’ve had more things in my mouth today than you.” That was… very true and also very embarrassing, Liam immediately felt his cheeks heating up, doing his very best to avoid everyone’s eyes, especially Louis’ though. 

“Thanks for the birthday wishes, I love you too.” They were only teasing, hopefully, Liam wasn’t all that sure, so he was quite relieved when Harry simply walked up to the blonde lying on the couch, not even giving him any time at all to react before half lying on top of him, somewhat hugging him as well while laughing, clearly amused by the blonde’s protest and attempts to shove him off. 

“You’re too heavy, Harold, I think you need to overthink your juice diet or whatever it is you were doing. And get off, I need to watch this right now.” There was nothing on the TV that Niall enjoyed, Liam knew that because just minutes ago the blonde had been straddling his lips and blocking his entire view before simply shoving his tongue into the brunette’s mouth. Which was also why their lips were still noticeably red and swollen. “And happy birthday, I guess.”

“Thanks, Ni. Where’s my present?” He was still on top of him while Liam was just standing there, next to Louis, watching while still feeling awkward about what the blonde had been implying before. Not that it wasn’t true, but still.

Instead of answering or giving him an actual present, which he didn’t have because apparently he was still holding the promise Harry had given him about never having to buy him anything again if they went to Liam’s concert, Niall just turned his head, momentarily stopping to try and push Harry to the floor, kissing his cheek only very lightly and it wasn’t weird or anything, but like… Liam still kinda suddenly felt the urge to pull the youngest boy off of Niall himself. “Now get off, I wasn’t joking about watching this.”

“What, is it some stupid tennis match or whatever? I swear to god, you gotta stop watching every single type of sports that’s on the telly.” Finally, Harry did get off of Niall, fully standing up as he watched the screen for a moment, shaking his head at the blonde before going to sit on the couch, a bit further away, and Liam’s legs kinda felt a bit stiff as he simply went to take his previous place again, right pressed up against Niall, not surprised at how easily the blonde fell back into his side, once again sharing the blanket with the brunette. Alright.

“Hey, Niall.” Louis sounded really amused, which was one reason why Liam avoided looking at his best friend, his eyes flickering down to watch Niall’s face instead as he looked up at the oldest man for a moment, nodding at him but not really saying anything. “How’d your first time on the red carpet feel like?”

“Good, I guess. I imagined it to be worse.” He shrugged, letting Liam feel the movement because of how close they were, which started to get even weirder once the brunette man saw Louis and Harry not even sitting anywhere near as close to each other. They were probably just toning it down because they were at someone else’s house, for sure. 

“Well, you looked rather comfortable, I think you pulled it off nicely. And everyone seems to agree with me on that, too, so… I was kinda hesitant about your plan, but now I feel like it’s been the right decision, it looked pretty real to me.” Oh god, if he didn’t shut up then Liam was going to kick them out, he felt an embarrassing blush rising on his cheeks as he attempted something like a glare into Louis’ direction, only getting back a grin though. “Anyways, what are we watching?”

It went on like that, for like, the first half an hour of the other two being here, but Liam luckily managed to calm down slightly when he saw Louis putting his arm around Harry, not feeling so embarrassed anymore about Niall’s legs being back across his lap underneath the blanket that they were sharing, still making it very obvious to everyone though, of course. Niall on the other hand seemed to be calmer than ever, he literally didn’t seem to care what the other two were thinking about any of this and Liam really wished he could have felt the same way, but he would get there for sure, he just needed a bit of time adjusting to not having to hide anything anymore.

“So… are you two, like… ” Liam didn’t really know how they continue, they were like fifteen minutes into some movie Niall had chosen and was watching intently, but the brunette man hadn’t really missed their best friends sharing a kiss after whispering something to each other. He was allowed to ask though right? They had basically invited themselves just to be able to ask uncomfortable questions about last night and implying weird shit the whole time. This was how it was going to be like for at least a month or two, wasn’t it? 

“Yeah, we’ve been talking about it and… I guess you could say that.” They were both smirking disgustingly fondly at each other when Louis answered and Liam felt forced to look away, staring at the screen once more as he nodded, his fingers almost nervously twisting into Niall’s soft hair now, the steady movement somehow calming him down. 

“Congratz.” Was Niall’s only comment to that, he didn’t sound very impressed either, not even turning his head as if that movie was really intriguing, leaning heavily into Liam by now, even more so ever since the brunette had randomly started to stroke his hair without really thinking about it. “Did you do it?”

“Niall!” Harry exclaimed, as if it was too intimate or something, but he did laugh at the end, as did Louis, and Liam was just impressed by how calm and unimpressed the blonde managed to stay while he himself even had trouble to hold back his urges to hold Niall even tighter, maybe kiss him for a little bit because honestly, they hadn’t done anything in like an hour by now. 

“What? Why am I not allowed to ask, remember when you asked me if me and Liam are having phone sex?” Oh, right, that, it seemed slightly ridiculous now to bring back these stories, also slightly embarrassing thinking about how they had done it for the first time, how quickly Liam had come and how hot it had been and… anyways.

“You _did_ actually have phone s-“

“Yeah, whatever. So did you or not?” They hadn’t, Liam could tell by both their faces, though he only looked up briefly, suddenly feeling a bit proud that Niall had finally managed to get the other two into an embarrassing situation for once. “No answer is an answer too, you know.”

“Well, I mean… we didn’t, we… we’re taking it slow.” Harry sounded careful while explaining, looking at Louis the whole time, who was just nodding encouragingly, seemingly more relaxed than…. his _boyfriend_. God, this whole thing right here was really weird, wasn’t it, Liam didn’t even want to think about what would happen if Louis and Harry dated in public as well, like… not that it’d be that big of a deal, but literally, what had been the odds?

“That’s fine. Me and Liam have been doing it enough for all four of us anyways.” … alright.

“I’ll go make something to eat, I’m actually starving.” Deciding that it was better not to let Niall get into this, Liam quickly cut him off without thinking, kinda panicking, receiving a playful glare from the younger boy, his hands tightly grabbing onto his arm, keeping him from getting up though. “I’ll be right back, Ni, I’ll just-“

“I know.” Well, and then he did the least expected thing, which was sitting up straight all of a sudden, one of his hands coming up to cup the back of Liam’s head, and before the brunette man even knew what was going on, Niall had their lips pressed together, firmly, his fingers pulling on the older’s hair, mouth opening despite the fact that it was more than inappropriate to do any of this right now.

Of course Liam kissed back, momentarily forgetting about the other two sitting on the same couch, but it’d be a lie to say that it didn’t make him think, somewhere in the back of his mind where not everything had turned into mush just yet upon tasting the younger boy, having him this close. Liam hadn’t expected the blonde to do this, at all, especially not as a reaction to this, but it almost seemed like the conversation had been triggering it, as if he needed to proof that even though Harry and Louis obviously hadn’t gone were very far, Niall and Liam had indeed.

There was no reason that came to Liam’s mind as to why the blonde would do this though, all he knew was that his cheeks were on fire and that he didn’t really want to stop kissing Niall, at the same time knowing that he would die of embarrassment as soon as they pulled apart, but for a moment or two, it didn’t really matter. Maybe he was just imaging this anyways, maybe Niall was just kissing him because he felt like it, since he hadn’t been shy of cuddling up to the brunette either, or maybe he was trying to scare the other two off or something, it surely didn’t mean anything at all.

Liam’s head was spinning a bit when the blonde leaned back, a grin plastered across his face as if he was really amused or something, and he probably was, not at all embarrassed or even close to feeling uncomfortable, his voice sounding completely normal as he spoke, fingers still playing with the hair in the back of the older’s neck. “Can you get me something to drink as well? Please?”

“Um… sure, I… “ Honestly, Liam didn’t even know anymore what he had been planning on doing, everything he could focus on was Niall’s face right in front of his, the way his lips were still tingling and then of course, feeling Harry and Louis burning holes into his back with their stares, he didn’t even have to check to know that. “I’ll be right back… “

Luckily, Niall didn’t go in for yet another kiss, because he would have surely killed him right on the spot, only thanking the older man before releasing him and Liam almost felt like he would lose balance any second from just standing up straight. He got this, it was fine, he would just pretend none of this had just happened, just walk past Louis and Harry without ever looking up, they could think whatever they wanted to anyways, none of it mattered. Right?

Liam’s plan on playing it cool didn’t really work out too well, in the end, he almost stumbled over the freaking carpet, his face on fire and his heart bumping unnaturally fast, hating the fact that none of the others were even talking as he walked to the kitchen, the TV not that extremely loud either. Shit, how could Niall be so damn relaxed, surely Harry had bothered him about them secretly being in love or something as well, and it wasn’t like Liam didn’t want to kiss Niall or anything, just… he also didn’t really wanna encourage those theories the other two seemed to have. Then again, he would never be able to resist Niall, not in a million years, so why even try? The only thing Liam would have really liked to have an answer to was what the motivation behind this was, did Niall want the others to leave in disgust, or was he trying to, like… show off? But why would he do that?

The brunette man never found an answer to that, even though he seemed to spend ages in the kitchen making sandwiches, at one point wishing Niall would have come to help or just talk really, but then he quickly realized how glad he actually was to have some time to himself, just to calm down, maybe prepare himself for what else was to come because the chances of Niall stopping were like zero. Deep down though, Liam didn’t even want him to, deep down he was kinda relieved that the blonde was being so careless and so affectionate, even if the other two were right there, on the same couch. Even if it was really fucking wrong.

Since Liam hadn’t known if anybody actually wanted to eat besides him, he hadn’t made too much, though Niall would have probably eaten the rest anyways, but Liam also had the blonde’s glass of coke to carry, purposely not having him gotten beer because it kinda got the younger boy pretty cuddly. And they were already risking a lot here anyways, no need to overdo it. 

“Thanks, bean.” Oh god, Liam almost spilled Niall’s drink over the couch and sent the sandwiches flying across the couch had Niall not already taken both, not even having hesitated or anything and Liam was aware that the blonde hadn’t been trying to make fun of him in front of the others, that it had just slipped out, but that didn’t really make it better.

“Look at that, I thought no one’s allowed to call you that in real life if they don’t wanna deal with you being pissy about it for the next half an hour.” Of course Louis hadn’t missed it, he and Harry seemed WAY too amused over there, so Liam quickly lowered his eyes once more, wanting to kick himself for even having _attempted_ to get over it in the kitchen, his cheeks already flaming again.

“But _I’m_ allowed to, so get over it.” Niall actually sounded pretty annoyed, his eyes getting stuck on Liam’s face as the brunette carefully claimed his place on the couch again, trying to give the blonde half a smile in order to indicate that it was fine. It had been bound to happen anyways. 

There was nothing but a laugh coming from Louis’ side, Liam didn’t even bother checking anymore, just keeping his eyes on the TV for now, allowing Niall to place the plate of sandwiches in his lap, the liquid inside his glass awfully close to spilling once more as the blonde leaned closer, half supporting himself against the older man, his lips suddenly brushing Liam’s ear. 

“Sorry.” It sounded genuine, though he had only been whispering and though Liam already felt himself blushing once more, if that was still even possible, he felt his stomach warming as the blonde kissed his cheek briefly before kinda getting back into his own space. Although not really, because apparently, it had become impossible for them to watch movies without their limbs tangling together. It was just because they only had one blanket, they kinda needed to be close if they wanted to both use it, that was all.

Louis did apologize after a while, not really seeming to be very sorry though as that stupid grin was still playing around his lips and all he wanted was half of one of Liam’s sandwiches, but the brunette man forgave him, just because he didn’t wanna be a whiny pissbaby for the rest of the night. He did give Louis the smallest part of the sandwich though, somehow because he was a bit mad at him, but mostly because Niall seemed to be hungrier than expected and Liam was making sure there would still be enough left for the younger boy, even though he would have never said that out loud, obviously.

Despite a few stupid side comments, the night didn’t turn out to be as bad as Liam had feared. Like, these two were their best friends after all, it was just the whole situation kind of, and the fact that Louis could never hold back whenever he had the chance to tease Liam or get on his nerves, but Harry at least wasn’t saying much about the topic, which was good because Liam really didn’t wanna have Niall getting mad or anything. 

Actually, the blonde barely spoke either, he just stayed where he was, curled into Liam’s side, even tighter after he had emptied his glass, either really invested by whatever was on the telly or simply not wanting to talk. Maybe both, but it was kinda obvious that Niall was really tired as well, not even protesting whenever Harry told some embarrassing story about the blonde when he had been younger, giving Liam a pretty hard time as he almost bit the inside of his cheeks bleeding so he wouldn’t have to laugh.

“… but he always said those things during class, just to make everyone laugh and our teacher _hated_ him, but she could never let him fail.” Imaging about how Niall had been in high school was actually pretty easy for Liam, he kinda liked hearing these things though, not because he wanted to laugh, but because it was rather interesting, finding out more about the blonde, how he had been as a teenager. “Anyways, should I tell the bathroom story or are you gonna kill me if I do, Ni?”

For a moment, Liam thought Niall was gonna immediately protest and trying to up Harry by telling something about his best friend as well, but to the brunette’s surprise, Niall didn’t say anything at all, didn’t even do as much as flinch, and looking down at the younger boy, Liam quickly realized why. Oh, he had fallen asleep, with his head on Liam’s shoulder, curled up into a ball underneath the older’s arm, blanket pulled up almost over his chin. Shit, there shouldn’t have been a stupid tug on Liam’s heart as he watched for a moment, voice sounding a bit weird. “He’s asleep… “

“Awww, can I snap a picture and upload it, your fans would go _crazy_ , Payno, it’d be so-“

“No, Louis, stop. And don’t wake him, yeah? I don’t wanna… start posting private picture literally one day after everyone found out.” Although, a part of Liam thought it’d be a good idea, that it’d be really fucking cute, but he wasn’t gonna do things like that without asking Niall first obviously, and besides, Louis was just eager to somehow get him worked up or whatever. 

“But you have to at some point anyways. Are you gonna let Niall post pictures as well? I’m sure people would go insane over that, and they’d probably love him like mad if he started publishing pictures of you.” That was true, Liam kinda hated the fact that he had to agree with Louis on that, since he had already thought about and even suggested it to Niall last night, but he didn’t wanna like, do everything too quickly, it’d be weird. 

“Maybe… we’ll see, I guess, like, it’s not even been a day yet and I haven’t checked any reactions since this morning, so we’ll just wait for now, don’t wanna, like… overdo it.” After all, Liam wanted this to come off as real as possible, and he probably wouldn’t have done these things had he been dating somebody for real, but then again… maybe he would have, if it had been Niall. Not that that was something he needed to think about. Ever. “What’re you guys gonna do, like… “

“Don’t know. Just keep it to ourselves and if anybody sees us, then… “ Louis shrugged, he seemed way too relaxed about this, as did Harry, and Liam kinda hated them for having it so easy, once again, of course people would talk about it and stuff, also because they’d know about Harry and Niall being friends, but the main focus would still always be on the blonde and Liam. “Besides, no one’s gonna care half as much about us anyways, I mean, it’ll probably get weird for Niall and Harry once they get back to college, but other than that...”

“It probably won’t be too crazy though, I can’t really think of many people who would even care or pay attention to these kinda things and none of our friends have said anything yet, but… I do have to tell my mum before anything… happens… “ Harry seemed to gulp at the last word, momentarily making Liam feel bad before he was suddenly reminded that he hadn’t told his own family anything either yet, still not having decided if a lie would be easier than the truth. 

“It’ll be fine, Haz, don’t worry, we can talk to her together, whatever you want.” See, this was the part where Liam felt forced to look away as they talked this out, not only because it kinda made him worry about what would happen if Niall’s family ever found out about this, but also because… because he was kinda jealous, that Louis would be able to just go and talk to Harry’s mum, probably without it being weird. 

So instead, Liam kept on watching the blonde’s face smushed against his shoulder, feeling the soft rise and fall of Niall’s chest against his body, his even breath, the way he seemed to want to stay close even while being fast asleep. No idea what had tired him out this much, possibly the sex, but Liam couldn’t even bring himself to feel stupid for smiling a bit, fingers playing with the blonde’s hair again, completely blocking out the other two still talking, just focusing on Niall right now.

He was cute like this, of course, there was never a moment really when Niall wasn’t looking bloody attractive and Liam was fine admitting that to himself, especially because of the compliments he always got from the younger boy. Still though, he didn’t like how his mind immediately drifted off while seeing Niall like this, thinking about how happy it made him in the mornings to wake up like this, all cuddled up together, or how calming it was to go to sleep with Niall in his arms, making it pretty hard to find any rest whenever the blonde wasn’t there.

It was wrong, Liam knew he shouldn’t have felt this way, but he couldn’t help it, not that it was a bad thing or so, but he could have still never told anybody about it, especially not Niall despite the fact that he knew that the blonde was enjoying all of this too. The whole shirt situation was proof enough, though Liam would of course never directly ask Niall whether he had actually ‘stolen’ his shirt or not, but it seemed very likely, even if it didn’t really seem to fit to Niall’s usual behavior.

After a while, Liam didn’t even notice anymore as he felt his own eyes getting heavy while watching Niall, leaning his head against the blonde’s for a moment, tightening his arms around the boy just a little bit, feeling pretty relaxed and comfortable like this, with the other two in the same room, but they had a blanket to share and it was pretty warm underneath, Niall’s body pressing against Liam’s like this, the weight of his head somehow feeling familiar. 

Maybe the brunette man was on the edge of falling asleep a few times, he couldn’t have said how much time passed by, the background noise of Harry and Louis talking somehow becoming a blur, as did the TV, it could have as well been turned off and Liam probably wouldn’t have noticed the difference. For a while, he contemplated whether he should have been getting up, thrown the other two out and carried Niall to bed, but whenever he was about to move, he decided to just wait a few more minutes, feeling way too tired as to do anything besides half lying there, holding onto the blonde.

And then suddenly, Liam wasn’t even sure anymore whether he even wanted to fully wake up.

“Did they both fall asleep now?” Harry had raised his voice a little bit, moving on the couch and Liam was very aware of all of this, but for some reason, he decided not to say a word or crack an eye open, just remained exactly like this, as if he really was fast asleep just like Niall.

“Looks like it… Liam?” Louis voice was somewhat soft, obviously not trying to wake Liam on purpose, and he quickly gave up on saying his name as well, there was some moving once more and the brunette man wondered if they had just gotten closer or something, since no one was there to watch them anymore. Then again, they had been pretty close the whole night long, maybe not quite as close as Niall and Liam, but still. “Hmmm…. That was an interesting evening I’d say.”

“Definitely.” Was it wrong, to keep on listening? Or was it alright for Liam to blame it on his sleepiness, like, he didn’t have to speak or move if he didn’t want to, right? And this was his own house after all. “I wouldn’t have thought that… that it’d be like this between them now, it’s… strange, because I’ve never seen Niall like this. I thought they’d reduce the touching and kissing to sex or something.”

“I don’t know what I was expecting, but… definitely not this? I can see it from Liam’s side though, he’s the touchy guy, and I don’t know about Niall, but from what you’ve told me… maybe they were putting up a show for us or something, but Liam was blushed for like, 3 hours straight.” Had Liam not been trying to stay quiet, he would have probably tackled Louis right now, but his mind was somehow busy processing a lot more worrying information, things that he had kinda known himself but had never really dared to consider. 

“I don’t think they were, it’s obvious they’ve been sitting like this before we even came here. Also, they probably had sex on that couch as well and I was trying not to think about it the whole time, but it was pretty hard not to.” A chuckle that probably belonged to Harry and some more moving while Liam internally rolled his eyes. Why’d they have to act like children about it?

“Don’t say that, Haz, I don’t even want to think about what else happened on here. I never thought I’d have to think of these kinda things with Liam, Niall has a bad influence on him, you should have warned me.” It sounded like a joke, and hopefully also was one because Louis let out a quiet laugh, obviously trying not to ‘wake’ Liam or Niall. Of course he was, otherwise he couldn’t have kept talking on behind their backs. 

“I did tell you a lot though, all the things I’ve walked into whenever Niall had someone over, or the day after he had someone over… or the kitchen towel thing.” What? “Still though… I think he’s getting better because of Liam, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t just about sex either.”

“Probably not, seeing them like this, I mean… the pictures from the award show didn’t even look staged or anything, and I never would have thought that Liam was gonna get up on that stage and thank _Niall_ as his boyfriend. Maybe they’re just taking their roles very seriously.” Liam seemed to have missed a joke there because they both laughed, almost having him on the edge, like, he kinda wanted to let them know he had heard everything so badly, but he also wanted to keep on listening and it kinda had him feeling a little bit sneaky.

“You mean to the point where they forget that they don’t have to keep on being a couple when they’re by themselves?” What the hell?! 

“Something like that, yeah. I really wonder what’s gonna happen in like a few months, they’ll probably have a child adopted by then.” Alright, Liam was going to _kill_ Louis for this.

“Oh, and Niall’s gonna keep telling Liam they have to get married for real because it’d be weird for them to not have the same last name and that people would start to notice it’s all just been pretend.” And Harry could definitely count his days as well.

They were fucking ridiculous, Liam actually couldn’t believe it, though it shouldn’t have been that surprising and he literally had no right to be annoyed or anything because he _knew_ how all of this must have looked like, but still. It was easy for Harry and Louis, to joke about it and talk like that, and it was good for them that they seemed to agree on everything and get along so well, but it still got Liam a bit angry. Not even at them though, but more at himself for some reason.

It went on like that for a while before they started to get to other topics the brunette man wasn’t really interested in, and they might have kissed sometime as well, but Liam couldn’t even bring himself to listen or to care, because now that he had heard all of this, he had a pretty hard time to keep on faking to be asleep and not moving too much, especially because Niall was stirring the whole time, sometimes mumbling stuff that hopefully only Liam could hear due to the fact that they were so close.

At some point, the brunette man actually considered to just ‘wake up’, not even sure why he had kept on lying there for so long, maybe so he wouldn’t accidentally give away that he had heard everything once they would speak to him, but luckily, it never came to that.

“Should we wake them up and tell them we’re leaving? Or Liam at least, so he can, I don’t know, lock the door?” Harry sounded genuinely concerned and Liam appreciated it, but then again, if someone could have broken into his house simply because he forgot to lock the door, he would probably be sleeping in fear every single night. 

“No, it’s fine, it’ll be locked automatically anyways, but… “ But what, Liam felt himself getting slightly uncomfortable, pretty sure that they were both standing now and he could hear one of them getting closer, possibly Louis. “I do feel kinda bad leaving without taking a picture, they’re pretty cute like this, not glaring or snapping at me for making jokes.”

“Don’t, Liam’s gonna kill you. And besides, I’m pretty sure this won’t be the last time we’ll see them like this anyways.” See, for a moment Liam had almost forgiven Harry for everything he had said, but now he was on the edge of just getting up once more and straight up telling them that he had heard every single thing. Not that they would have cared probably.

“True.” Louis let out a sigh then, turning the TV off and right when Liam thought that he was finally free and that they would leave, his best friend decided to erase every second of real sleep Liam could have potentially gotten that night as they walked to the door, voice still loud enough so the brunette man could hear every single word. “I wonder when they’re gonna realize how gone they are for each other, I feel kinda bad for not telling them that the only people they are playing are themselves … but they would probably keep on denying it anyways.”

Then there was a pause, and Liam already had his eyes open, trying his hardest not to say anything as he heard the faint sound of the door opening, followed by something like a laugh right before he heard Harry’s voice for the last time. “Twenty bucks they’re not gonna admit it for at least two months.”

It was official then, not only was Liam not going to sleep tonight, but he was also never going to allow Louis and Harry to come over ever again. And also, Niall was never ever going to hear about a single word that had been spoken tonight without him knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, the number of chapters is uncertain, which means we probably have over a month to go before this fic is finished omg ive never taken this long.
> 
> anyways, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, i will most likely make a time jump in the next one, just to get things a bit more interesting! :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanna say that for this chapter (and also for following chapters probably), the " (x) " are links to pictures that i photoshopped just for fun and you dont have to look at them to understand the plot or anything, its just for fun if anyone wants to see how nialls and liams instagram posts would look like, but its also explained in the story so no need to look at them if you dont want to :)

“Niall, uh… will you… will you tell Liam that I love him?” The girl looked rather nervous, as if she and Niall had never seen each other before, as if they didn’t have the same lecture every week on Wednesday, and in all honesty, Niall had no idea what she was hoping to come out of this, but he still smiled at her, somehow because he kinda felt bad, but also, because, well, he somehow had to.

“Yeah, sure.” It was surprising really, how slowly more people had been coming up to Niall ever since he and Liam had made this whole thing public two months or so ago. At first, coming back to college hadn’t made any difference at all, sure, there were a few people that had said something, but it had mostly gotten ignored and barely anyone had known to begin with. Now though, it was slightly different, not in a way that it got annoying or anything though, Niall actually didn’t mind it at all, like, one time he had been on the phone with Liam when someone had come up to him and the blonde had let them say hi to Liam, almost causing them to pass out. It was kinda… fun, actually.

“Do you really always tell him?” Harry asked as soon as they had continued walking across campus, one last lecture ahead of them before they’d finally be off for the rest of the day.

“Sometimes I do. But I don’t always remember everyone’s name or I forget in general… but they’ll come back anyways, not like I’m that hard to find.” Niall joked, though he was pretty sure this one guy in particular had a bit of a too good knowledge of Niall’s entire schedule, but maybe it had just been coincidences, like, he didn’t wanna jump the gun. 

“Well, I definitely don’t envy you.” The younger boy laughed when Niall sent him a bit of a glare, nothing too serious though, because the blonde actually thought that he was doing a pretty good job with all of this, nothing had even been half as overwhelming as they had feared. Sure, when he had visited Liam last weekend and they had gone out to eat, there had been a few paparazzi, but they had luckily already been holding hands out of habit anyways.

“They’ve asked you for selfies as well… once.” Between Harry and Louis, they weren’t like… _officially_ a couple, they surely did behave like one and everything, but the whole situation was kinda different anyways and Niall was pretty sure that they would never actually have to do something as drastic as him and Liam, or that Louis would ever actually get asked about it. Not that Niall thought that Louis was somehow less important, but… he kinda was, in that sense at least.

“Yeah, but only because you were there too and because they know that we both know Liam.” True, not that it seemed to bother Harry or anything, actually, mostly he was just standing there laughing and then teasing Niall about it later. “Can I borrow a pen once we’re inside? I forgot everything in my room.”

“Sure, I wasn’t gonna write anything down anyways.” They were almost in the lecture hall now, not late even though Niall came late 70% of the time, but whenever Harry was there, he would bother the blonde to hurry up for so long that Niall would eventually give in with an annoyed groan, just like today.

“Maybe you should. Maybe one day I won’t let you copy my notes anymore, you know.” Obviously, that wasn’t gonna happen, Harry was smirking as the blonde rolled his eyes, kinda already feeling tired though they had literally only walked up two steps and they had a whole lot more to go if they wanted to sit somewhere in the back. Which they did, because there was no need for the professor feeling the need to call Niall out for not paying attention _again_. “Also, I heard Liam’s taking your education very seriously.”

“He’s trying to at least, it’s not working very well though.” Which mostly came from the fact that Niall would either try to change the topic, or if they were together, he would just start kissing Liam, or be extra clingy until the older man simply forgot. Worked every time. 

“I can see that. But maybe he’s right, like-“

“Let’s sit over there.” Niall cut his best friend off, throwing him a smile as Harry sighed, immediately letting the topic drop though as they sat down, probably because they had had this conversation WAY too many times already. Honestly though, Niall felt like he was improving ever since he had met Liam, or at least the last two months or so, because somehow they had managed to get even closer ever since the whole fake dating had started, not that that was really possible, but their skype and phone conversations were somehow getting even longer. And the time they were apart seemed to last even longer as well though it actually was a lot shorter.

Today it was already Thursday, and Niall felt like he was about to die from anticipation to go see Liam tomorrow night, it had only been four days apart but it seemed like ages, even though they both had been busy, Liam mostly with interviews and that kinda stuff, and Niall with… _pretending_ to do stuff for college. In reality though, he had been counting the fucking hours and maybe he was going insane or whatever, but he was way past the point of caring by now. Also, it helped the fact that they had to be all over each other all the time anyways, not necessarily in private but... it couldn’t hurt to practice for when they were in public, right?

Whatever it was, Niall enjoyed the hell out of it, there hadn’t been any bad sides to them starting to fake date, it had only gotten a lot better because they didn’t have to be careful about anything anymore, and though Harry would once a while throw in a few jokes, Niall probably wasn’t any better. Plus, it was somehow getting normal to him almost, though it had only been two months but… what had changed really compared to a few months ago? Nothing besides the fact that they were able to see each other every week and that after Liam had posted a picture of Niall on his Instagram and tagged him in it ([x](http://68.media.tumblr.com/90f016494d0b1d19dd36de8b7566c148/tumblr_inline_o16645trm51rggmxj_500.jpg)), the blonde had gained like a few thousand followers and he was pretty sure that the fans loved him after Liam had allowed him to put up a picture of the brunette in bed ([x](http://68.media.tumblr.com/190cb7f44ea8c2fe994fd6a91b30d6d2/tumblr_inline_o1663xtdPg1rggmxj_500.jpg)). Not that it was Niall’s goal to be loved by everyone, but… honestly, they were just having fun with it and it was nice that everyone seemed to be so accepting, especially because it was such a huge relief to Liam as well, since it had been his image they had been trying to safe in the first place.

As expected, Niall managed to pay attention for like five minutes after the lecture had started, for a while just watching the professor talk without even listening while Harry took notes next to him, the lecture hall not really full so the blonde resisted the urge to start whispering to his best friend. Instead, he took his phone out, not surprised when he didn’t see any messages from Liam, even though… he had been hoping for it. Just a tiny little bit though, he knew the older man was busy today.

After answering some texts from his other friends, the blonde quickly got bored, contemplating whether he should get his headphones out of his bag and stop pretending to be paying attention altogether because he wasn’t even sure anymore what the lecture was about anyways, but then somehow, he ended up scrolling through his pictures, the ones he and Liam had taken for fun last weekend, when the blonde had come along to one of the older man’s photoshoots.

It got him a bit sad almost, even if that was pretty dumb considering that they were literally about to see each other tomorrow night, but it also made him smile, like… it had been great, watching Liam during photoshoots was also fucking hot, so needless to say, the night after had been even _more_ fun. The fact alone though, that Niall was allowed to come now, that he didn’t have to try and hide his face from every camera or worry about whether anybody would catch them doing anything almost got him euphoric. 

There was one picture of Liam in particular that caused Niall to stop swiping his thumb for a second, just staring and trying not to feel weird for it, like, it was literally just a picture and he was more than certain that Harry was doing anything besides looking at Niall’s phone. Still though, the blonde felt a bit of a tug in the depth of his stomach as he stared at it, seeing the older man’s sweet smile, how happy his face was and how freaking good he looked like, having stolen the younger boy’s phone when they had been in the back of the car on the way to where the photoshoot had taken place, and Niall hadn’t really realized that the picture existed until now.

Without thinking really, or considering whether this was a good idea or not, Niall suddenly almost felt excited about simply putting the picture up on his Instagram, first not really wanting to caption it anything that might have been embarrassing, but then he figured that a ‘miss you’ wasn’t too much, like, of course he missed Liam, there was nothing to feel stupid about, and the older man probably knew as well though Niall still wasn’t very good at admitting it most of the time. Despite trying to convince himself by that, he did feel forced to put his phone down after he was finished, with the screen down and flush rising in his cheeks, almost wanting to take it back though he knew that he couldn’t have done it anyways as someone had surely already seen it. ([x](http://68.media.tumblr.com/5d62f68df6c88efb39321a74c5029a10/tumblr_inline_o1663sHRwS1rggmxj_500.jpg)) 

For a few moments, Niall tried not to think about what he had just done, he knew Liam wouldn’t be mad, knew that it wouldn’t have any consequences at all, but somehow he did feel slightly weird, like… yeah, he did actually miss Liam, a lot, but maybe he shouldn’t have told everyone about it online. Maybe he should have held back or something. But then again, Liam was calling Niall a lot of things in public as well that he never did in private, so it was all just show anyways, right? No one had to know that this was how the blonde actually felt like, he was just bored anyways, that was all.

So after Niall had calmed himself down, at least slightly, he was brave enough to pick his phone back up, kinda not really planning on checking the comments underneath the picture but rather playing some game or whatever, but it never really came to that. Niall actually almost dropped his device right on the table, his heart immediately speeding up as he looked at the notification that Liam had posted something on Instagram as well, _and_ had tagged the younger boy too, so there would really be no doubt what this was about.

Oh, god, how had he seen that? Literally ten minutes after Niall had done it? Wasn’t the brunette man supposed to be performing on a show today?! But at least that meant he wasn’t mad, right? Or he would have immediately texted Niall or something, but he hadn’t, not until now anyways, and yet Niall still felt his hand shaking as he unlocked his phone, no idea what he was even expecting, his heart making a pretty big jump though as he saw what Liam had done. Oh, well… _that_ was certainly not what the blonde had been expecting. ([x](http://68.media.tumblr.com/e12d4c638a89cc7dad464eb790145df8/tumblr_inline_o1664bFjqR1rggmxj_500.jpg)) 

It was a picture of Niall, one he had taken on Liam’s phone like two weeks ago, that he hadn’t thought the brunette would even keep or whatever, but apparently, he had, which really wasn’t the thing striking Niall the most, but rather, well… the fact that Liam’s caption was a bit more extreme than his own. It probably shouldn’t have surprised the blonde so much, he probably shouldn’t have even been taking it this seriously, but he could still feel it in his bones as he read Liam’s ‘I miss you more’, followed by a damn _heart_ that caused Niall’s hands to get a bit sweaty. 

“What’s wrong?” Harry’s voice almost caused the blonde to fall off his seat, quickly locking his phone as fast as humanly possible before trying to get his facial expressions under control, clearing his throat a little in a pathetic attempt to act like nothing had happened.

“Uh, nothing, I… just zoned off a bit.” Niall lied, his smile probably looking embarrassingly fake, hoping that Harry was gonna buy it, but unfortunately, the younger raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing around his lips.

“You know I got Liam’s notifications on as well, right?” It sounded completely calm, and first of all, the blonde didn’t really get it, just stared dumbly at his friend, blinking once before his eyes suddenly got wide as Harry simply held up his phone, the same damn Instagram post open. _Shit_. “His post was a lot cuter than yours though.”

“Oh god… “ Trying to be quiet, Niall groaned before quickly burying his head between his arms on the table so Harry wouldn’t notice how fucking blushed his whole damn face had gotten. How had he not even noticed that Harry had stopped writing?! He should have thought about all of this before embarrassing himself like this, shit.

“It’s fine, Ni, I’m used to things like this from both of you anyways. What I still don’t understand is why you used your fucking school ID number for your username when you made that account, I always told you it looks like shit.” Harry snorted, his hand patting the blonde’s back for a second while Niall wished he could have just been swallowed whole by the ground. Why had he done that?! 

“Shut up, Haz… “ The blonde grumbled somewhere against his own skin, not really mad though, he was just fucking embarrassed now, like, of course A LOT of people had seen what he had written, but they weren’t the ones making fun of him for doing it, they found it cute, whereas Harry used it to support his theories about how Niall was in love with Liam or something. He wasn’t, just for the record.

“Awww, come on, just joking, it’s cute. Although… I’m really questioning if it’s really him who misses you more unless he also wears your shirts for when he goes to bed.” Now there was THIS again, of course Harry had been bound to find out about this at some point, like, Niall didn’t have that many clothes, especially not expensive ones, and in all honesty, he had never really thought about what kinda brand the shirt was that he had kind of… _stolen_ from Liam, but when Harry had pointed it out, the blonde had not only been wanting to die but had also made up a lie as to why he had it in front of Liam a while later, telling the brunette it had been an accident and that he’d give it back, that he had only noticed now. Somehow though, Liam had just told him to keep it, and the smile on his face had been kind of weird as well thinking about it now.

Niall never answered Harry, kind of having run out of words now, like, there was nothing he could have said anyways to make it less embarrassing, so he simply decided to ignore it. None of this mattered anyways, he knew about Harry’s and also Louis’ opinion on all of this, and he had decided, or at least tried, not to care. Just because they were convinced that they were right didn’t mean that they were, like, they weren’t Niall and Liam after all, they were just trying to get them upset or something. 

After the blonde almost choked, he was forced to lift his head again at some point, trying to ignore the stupid grin Harry threw at him, rather staring straight ahead, not really succeeding at forgetting about this whole thing though. Of course there was a part in him that was a bit flattered, even though there was a pretty big chance Liam had only written this for the fans, but he had told Niall this morning about how he couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow. Maybe not with that choice of words, but the blonde was still 99% sure that Liam was in fact missing him.

So knowing that, and ignoring the fact that Harry knew WAY too much, Niall allowed himself to smile a bit as he picked up his phone later on during the lecture, thinking to himself that getting scolded by Liam for what he had done wasn’t really that bad after all.

Liam 04:14 pm  
_get off your phone and pay attention to your lecture love ;)_

 

\-------------------

 

His phone going off like crazy was what had Niall jolting awake the next morning, his head dizzy and his mind blurry as he blindly searched for his phone between the sheets, somehow feeling too cold for being covered so tightly in his blanket. And his throat was hurting terribly as well for some reason, he was barely getting his eyes to open as he picked up, not even having checked the time or name beforehand. This morning was shit enough already anyways, who was calling him _before_ his alarm went off?!

“What?” Was all Niall brought out, his voice sounding weirdly raspy and hoarse, actually hurting him while he spoke, feeling too tired and exhausted though to get up and get himself something to drink. 

“Did you just… did you just only wake up? I’ve been wondering where you were, Ni, thought you died or something.” It was Harry, definitely, and he sounded very confused actually, maybe a bit relieved, but Niall’s head was already hurting without even trying to figure out what was even going on, he just wanted to turn around and go back to sleep.

“What…?” The blonde just repeated himself, trying to unsuccessfully clear his throat before not being able to hold back a coughing fit as soon as he had turned onto his back, his free arm draped over his face in an attempt to block out the light that his blinds would always let through. Shit, he really did feel like trash.

“It’s like, 1 pm, Nialler, are you okay? You sound a bit…” Wait… _1 pm_?!

“Shit, I… I gotta get on a train in like three hours, I… I didn’t hear my alarm and I overslept half my classes and… _fuck_ …” Sitting up hadn’t been a very good idea at all, but Niall had just panicked, his eyes shooting open at the thought of maybe missing his train or something, though that was ridiculous because he’d never need three hours to get to the station, but the second he had brought himself into a straight position, he suddenly wasn’t so sure anymore whether he’d be going anywhere at all today except the bathroom.

“What happened?” Harry sounded pretty worried now actually, which seemed quite appropriate considering that Niall was sounding as if he was about to die probably, he actually also quite felt like he was, why did this have to happen today?! And what had he even gotten sick from anyways, just because he hadn’t been wearing a jacket last night? 

“I think… I think I gotta… puke.” Trying his hardest to breathe somewhat normally and to not make too many quick movements, Niall still felt his stomach continuing to rebel as he slowly raised a hand to press over his mouth, eyes closing for another minute. There was pretty much no part of Niall’s body that wasn’t aching in the most uncomfortable way, he barely ever got ill, and never like this either. But he still needed to see Liam, no question, how was he supposed to just stay here and wait for next fucking weekend when he had been looking forward to today the moment he had said goodbye to Liam last Sunday?!

“Okay, okay… take it easy, yeah? I’m coming over, alright? I’ll… bring you some tea.” Obviously, Niall was not going to drink that and usually he would have probably protested pretty loudly, but he really did appreciate Harry immediately offering to come and share his suffering.

“Okay… thanks, Haz.” Talking wasn’t the best idea anyways, the blonde was somewhat relieved once his best friend had hung up the phone, leaving Niall alone to deal with his thoughts and the terrible possibility of having to call Liam up and telling him that he couldn’t come because he’d be puking everywhere on the train if he only put one step outside his dorm.

There were some tears building up in Niall’s eyes that he quickly wiped away before they even had a chance to drop, telling himself that it was only the condition that he was in that made him somehow emotional, nothing else. He wasn’t gonna cry over this like a fucking baby, he was just going to pull himself the fuck together and get something to drink and then he’d surely be fine, he had literally just woken up, it didn’t mean anything at all.

Or so he had thought.

Literally the moment Niall managed to get out of bed, very glad for having worn both a shirt (well, not _a_ but Liam’s) and sweatpants because he felt like he would have frozen to death otherwise, his stomach was rebelling once more, his head almost killing him as he pressed his fingers against his temple, other hand still hovering by his mouth. Not that that would have helped or anything, Niall just stood there for a while, trying to calm down and get it together, but the next thing he knew was suddenly not feeling able to hold it back anymore, already seeing himself having to wipe up the whole floor as he hurried to the bathroom, for once glad that his dorm was so freaking small.

Puking your guts out was never comfortable in any way, but seeing as Niall had had to throw up pretty often after being drunk, he would have thought he’d be somewhat used to it. Turned out though that he wasn’t at all, just clinging to the toilet the whole entire time, feeling tears streaming down his face as he cursed himself internally for having eaten so much crap last night. Then again, he would have probably felt like shit either ways, it had been dumb to walk all the way to this food place last night while claiming that it wasn’t very far and also not cold. Though it had clearly been both things.

There was knocking on the door when Niall was done after what seemed like hours, only dry heaving now, somehow managing to flush the toilet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he fell back to lean against the wall, breathing heavily through his nose. God, he felt even worse now, all gross and disgusting and his whole body feeling weak like jelly, the way to the door seemingly unmanageable. God, how was Niall gonna tell Liam about this?! How was he gonna survive the whole fucking weekend when he already wanted to cry about it yet again?

“Niall! Are you okay?! Do I need to call someone?!” Naturally, Harry started banging against the door after a while, forcing the blonde to somehow force his aching body up and his legs to move, feeling pretty much like he had already died as he finally opened the door for Harry, making sure to keep quite the distance though because there was no way he would have found a way to clean his mouth after this. “What’s taken you so long I thought you passed out or something. You look like shit, by the way, god.”

“Thanks… “ Niall mumbled, not really caring either ways, he had way bigger problems now, he would have gratefully taken a lot more pain on him if that would have meant he would get to see Liam, but sadly, that option seemed to be pretty much done with already. “And I was puking for at least… ten minutes. ’m goin’ back to bed… “

“Do you need any help, like… you look like you’re gonna stumble any second, are you dizzy?” Yeah, Niall was more than just dizzy but he shrugged it off anyways, his throat hurting way too much with every word, but he did keep his hand on the wall as he made his way back to his room, not waiting for Harry because standing around there would have surely caused his stomach to rebel once more. “I told you we shouldn’t have gone there last night, you were barely wearing anything.”

Instead of answering, the blonde simply collapsed back into bed, face buried in the pillow and though he was fucking freezing, he just couldn’t find the motivation to tuck himself in or pull the blanket out from underneath himself. He was sick already anyways, and unable to go anywhere apparently, so what did it matter anymore now, his whole weekend was ruined already. 

“Did you already call Liam?” The mattress gave in a little when Harry sat down as well, asking the worst question ever, but Niall was already grumpy and sleepy and disappointed, so he couldn’t have really said anything right either ways. 

“No… “ Maybe Niall would just go, maybe in three hours he’d feel a lot better, you never knew right?

“You’re not going to go see him like this though, are you? You wouldn’t even make it outside your room, and Liam wouldn’t want you to put your health at risk either.” Of course not, Liam would be the first to yell at Niall for doing it, but that didn’t mean that Niall wanted to call him and tell him about this, he knew the brunette man would be worried shitless, that they could talk on skype all weekend long, that Liam would be there for him. But not physically, and that was the problem here, Niall was so fucking cold and felt so terrible, he couldn’t help thinking that lying in Liam’s bed right now, with the brunette man pressed up against his back, arm tightly wrapped around Niall’s stomach like always, his calming voice filling the blonde’s ear, would have surely helped him to get healthy within a day or something. And also… just having Liam there would have made Niall feel a lot better in general, knowing that the brunette man would be there if he needed anything, that he’d give Niall a cuddle and a forehead kiss if he wanted one. Not that he did, just… hypothetically. 

“I… maybe I’ll feel better in a bit.” The fact that Niall almost sounded like he was about to die didn’t make it seem very likely and they both knew it, but maybe Niall was just trying to keep his hopes up, put the phone call off for a little bit longer. Even if he did want to talk to Liam really badly right now, it was like back then when the fight with his dad had happened and Niall had just wanted to complain to somebody and whine, somehow Liam had become his number one person to go to for these purposes. Actually… he was for everything. 

“Alright, well… do you want some tea or not? I can also get you something else.” Harry’s hand petting Niall’s back almost had the blonde throwing up yet again, but he managed to hold back and not say anything, feeling slightly bad that Harry had to sit there now and get him stuff. Usually, whenever Niall was sick, which wasn’t very often, he would either try to ignore it or just stay in his bed for a few days, trying not to infect anybody or whatever, also not really wanting somebody there to help him, like someone he’d be dependent on. But right now, since he could barely even move, he felt grateful for his best friend offering help, and furthermore, had Liam been there, Niall was certain that he would have allowed the brunette to baby him nonstop while he was ill, would have maybe even appreciated it, even if it was something he would have never wanted with anybody else.

“I don’t know… can you… get me some water, please?” Niall didn’t wanna ask, but he was dying of thirst and his mouth tasted like rotten cheese or something and he still hadn’t even managed to turn onto his back.

“Sure, I’ll be right back.” Harry gave another pet to Niall’s back before getting up and leaving the blonde behind to die in his bed, every one of his steps giving Niall a pinch to his head because of how sensitive it felt and because of how small his dorm was, with pretty thin walls as well. 

Though the younger boy wasn’t away for very long, Niall at least managed to somehow turn onto his side and pull the blanket about to his chin, the light of his phone screen hurting his eyes, but he ignored it for the favor of staring at Liam’s name in his contacts, a few times seconds before calling him before deciding against it, for once glad that the brunette man was too busy to text him. Niall still had time, he could still make it if he left campus in two hours, only question was whether he’d get out of bed without ruining the floor and his clothes.

The thought of not getting to see Liam after looking forward to it was almost unbearable right now, Niall felt like a baby but he couldn’t help it, he had gone _weeks_ without seeing Liam before, but now that they had started to see each other so often and sometimes for much longer, he could barely even stand it. Maybe he was being overdramatic, but how could he have not been? He was sick and he felt fucking terrible and he just wanted to be with Liam right now.

When Harry came back after a few minutes, Niall even felt too exhausted to just look up, still busy with dumbly staring at his phone without actually ever doing anything, his throat somehow feeling pretty tight as well which definitely didn’t seem like a symptom of whatever he had. “Here you go.”

“Thank you… “ Thinking about it now, Niall actually had no idea how he’d even reach the glass Harry placed on his bedside table before going back to sitting on the edge of the bed, luckily not starting to rub his back once more though.

“No problem. Are you… okay?” No, nothing was okay, before Niall was able to tell Harry that he felt like shit though, he realized that the younger boy had probably just asked hypothetically, his eyes stuck on the blonde’s face which Niall barely noticed, he just shrugged, still undecided about what to do. “You… you got something on your cheek.”

“Wha- oh.” Confused for a second, Niall had wiped across his cheek, immediately feeling his face heating up as he touched something wet, only needing about half a second to realize that one of his tears had indeed escaped. Shit. “I… I’m fine, just… “

“It’s okay, Nialler… I know you wanted to see him.” Actually, the blonde boy hadn’t really planned on saying it like this, he kinda hated how easily Harry had caught on, attempting to sit up now to at least drink some water, pretend like it wasn’t even _that_ bad.

“It’s okay, I… maybe I’ll feel better later, or… or we can always see each other, um… next weekend.” Just the thought had Niall shuddering and forced him to clear his throat in an attempt to not let the tightness show in his voice, his fingers kinda feeling shaky as he reached out for the glass, having to support himself with his other arm against the mattress. That was gonna be a few shitty days, especially because he literally had nothing medicine related like… he had no idea what he even should have taken, he hadn’t been sick a lot, also not as a child, and his dad certainly hadn’t really cared either. “I, um… I should call him.”

“You want me to wait in the other room?” Harry’s facial expression showed pity and Niall didn’t really like that, but he shook his head anyways before lying back down on his back, carefully, stomach turning once more for a different reason this time as he got his phone and searched for Liam’s name just like before. This time though, he only hesitated for a few seconds before tapping on it, still feeling both nervous but also desperate to just hear the older’s voice, to calm him down, even though he knew that Liam was definitely not gonna be happy about this either.

Having Harry here actually didn’t bother Niall at all, maybe it should have, but somehow he didn’t plan on talking any differently to Liam because of it, he literally didn’t care anymore, this was the worst day ever and tomorrow was probably going to be even worse, but even while having that knowledge in the back of his head, his heart was still bumping like crazy when Liam finally picked up his phone. With the best mood ever as it seemed like. 

“Hey, Ni. You alright?” He was just asking, obviously not expecting anything, there were people talking in the background and Niall assumed that he wasn’t home yet, but his stomach dropped just at the thought of not being able to just say that he had been calling because he wanted to, that he couldn’t wait for later.

“Hi… I… I’m okay, just… “ Actually, he wasn’t, but the second he had heard Liam’s voice, Niall had decided that he couldn’t tell Liam how bad he really felt, he was gonna tell him a slightly different version of it, a more bearable one. Not that that would have helped or anything. 

“What happened? Are you okay?” Immediately, Liam’s voice had gotten panicked, causing the blonde to sigh quietly as he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand as he hesitated, not really wanting to keep the brunette man waiting either, when he was clearly worried.

“I am, but… I don’t feel so good, like… my head hurts and I… I think I have a cold and I had to, um… throw up before and-“

“Shit. Are you in bed? Do you have a fever? Is Harry with you?” Liam interrupted him, his voice even _more_ worried now but Niall was just really glad that he hadn’t mentioned what that meant for tonight, because actually saying it out loud would make it a whole lot worse.

“I am… and I don’t know and yeah, he is... I’m just cold and I gotta cough a lot, it’s not too bad, I guess, I mean… “ Actually, it was more than just bad, but Liam didn’t have to know that, did he? Or he would have immediately forbidden Niall to even think about still coming to visit him, although, he probably would anyways, it was _Liam_ after all.

“Babe, don’t talk it down, okay? If you’re feeling bad then you’re feeling bad, it’s okay, you can tell me.” Well, see, Niall should have seen that coming, should have known that Liam’s voice turning all soft and caring would have him buckle in at an instant, there was no need to keep things from him anyways because literally everything he could have said would have probably made Niall feel better, no need to play himself here. 

“I know, I just… I mean, I do feel bad, but it’s like… it’s stupid because all I did was not putting on a jacket last night and… it just sucks, I don’t wanna be sick, not today.” Niall probably sounded at least a little bit whiny, his throat hurt from talking but he just forced himself to push through it, his eyes still closed and yet he could feel Harry’s eyes stuck on his face, listening to every word and the blonde didn’t even care.

There was a sigh coming from the other end, not an annoyed one though because it had been rather obvious what Niall had been implying, probably causing Liam to realize what that meant as well. And yet he still managed to make his voice sound all soft and calming for some reason, sounding more mature and reasonable than the blonde would have liked. This was definitely not something he would be able to change Liam’s mind over. “I know, but… it’ll be fine, Nialler, okay? Just make sure you stay in bed and keep warm and get some medicine and you’re gonna feel better in no time. It wouldn’t be good if you went outside like this, or on the train, it would probably only make you feel worse.”

“But, I… “ Niall hesitated, biting his tongue for a moment before deciding that it didn’t matter, everyone knew it already anyways, he might as well just say it, no matter how quiet and broken his voice sounded like. It was only his poor condition making him this emotional anyways. “I wanna see you… I don’t wanna wait until next weekend… “

“I know, Ni, me neither, but… if you’re sick then you shouldn’t take that lightly just because. Look, just stay in bed for the day and try and get lots of sleep and then maybe you’ll feel a whole lot better tomorrow, okay? And if you don’t then that’s okay too, I promise we’ll still see each other, yeah? I just don’t want you having to be on a train for hours while you’re sick and feeling poorly.” His suggestions sounded more than just smart, but Niall still almost wanted to cry, he was pretty sure he wasn’t gonna feel any better tomorrow, like it didn’t seem like it’d just go away within a few hours and also that they probably wouldn’t be able to see each other during the week either and… this was shit. 

“But… but what if I don’t mind, it’s not too long anyways I-“

“Niall, I know you wanna come and I really want you to as well, but you gotta get better first, okay? I don’t want you to feel worse afterwards, or, I don’t know, getting sick while you’re on the train or have anything happen to you, I… I really wanna see you too, but your health’s a whole lot more important to me. And we can still talk on the phone and on skype, okay? It’s gonna be fine, I promise.” Liam could promise all he wanted and it wouldn’t force those tears that were about to spill over back into Niall’s head, even though he really tried to take normal breaths, tried to find comfort in the older’s voice and how much he cared, it just wouldn’t quite help. 

“Okay… “ Was all Niall brought out, knowing that there was nothing else he could have said and he would have asked Liam how he was feeling in return, what he was up to and how his day was going, but not only was his head killing him, but now he was also afraid that he would choke into the phone before getting another word out. 

There was another sigh before Liam answered, maybe thinking the blonde was mad now or something, when in reality, he just didn’t wanna start bawling like a baby. “I’m sorry, love… try and get some sleep, okay? You’re gonna feel a lot better when you do, I’m sure.”

“Yeah… “ Probably not, since Niall wouldn’t be able to sleep in anyways, but there was no need to tell Liam that when he was already so worried anyways and Niall didn’t wanna sound like a douchebag either. “Can I… can I call you when I wake up?”

“Of course, Ni, you can always call me, you know that. Also if you’re feeling bad, no matter what time it is, alright? I’m here.” He truly was, and the thought of it was the final step Niall had needed to cause hot tears dropping down the side of his face as he covered his eyes with his arm, as if Harry hadn’t already seen it, or as if it actually mattered. “You wanna try and get some rest?”

“Yeah, I… I’ll try… “ Niall half whispered, trying really heard to suppress a cough that was building up, not wanting the older man to hear though, even if it made it even harder to talk.

“Alright, Ni. Don’t forget to drink lots of water and put on warm clothes, yeah? And stay in bed and get some medicine and call me as soon as you’re feeling worse or anything happens, okay? We’re gonna talk soon, I promise, it’s gonna be okay. I miss you.” The part with the medicine was something Niall could easily ignore when he heard the last sentence, especially with the sincerity in Liam’s voice, how he hadn’t even hesitated to say it like they both sometimes did, even if it had gotten more normal by now, just like the names Liam would call Niall without any of them even noticing anymore. It was nice, but the fact that they were doing all these things somehow had Niall missing Liam even more than he already would have anyways.

“Okay… I miss you too.” Thinking back to the Instagram posts from yesterday, the blonde got really depressed thinking about how he had had no clue back then that it was going to be even more true today than it had already been during that lecture. By the end of next week, Niall was probably gonna be barely able to function.

As soon as they had hung up, the blonde just dropped his phone somewhere on the mattress and turned onto his stomach once more, hugging his pillow tightly as he buried his face into it, just letting his tears be soaked up by it, not even attempting to stop the shakes going through his body, even with Harry sitting right there, having heard all of this and being able to watch his pathetic meltdown. Whatever, he already thought Liam and Niall were dating, he couldn’t have come up with anything more anyways.

“Niall… “ The younger boy started after a few minutes, his voice quiet and careful, the light pressure of his hand on Niall’s back barely noticeable as he was much more focused on only letting every second sob escape, trying to keep them quiet if he couldn’t. This was definitely a new low right there, without a doubt. “Ni, I’m sorry… but you’re gonna see him next weekend, okay? I’m not going to see Louis either, I can keep you company, yeah? I’m sure you’ll feel better after you’ve slept for a bit, I’ll even watch whatever movie you want with you tonight and I won’t talk during it, promise.”

Niall was aware that he most likely didn’t deserve Harry as a best friend, though he would have done the same for him, he was aware that Harry was a lot nicer than him in general, that he was better at showing how much he cared, knowing when he had to be serious. It wasn’t that the blonde boy didn’t love Harry just as much, because he really did, he just wasn’t used to really letting it show this much, especially lately with all these things going on, with his stupid jealousy and everything, but Niall was so glad that Harry was here right now, that he always stuck by his side no matter what the blonde boy did. Even if sometimes, he surely didn’t deserve it. 

“O-Okay… thanks H-Haz…“ Though he really tried, Niall knew that it came out like a pathetic sob, hating himself for acting so ridiculously stupid but at the same time not caring about it either, it felt good somehow, to just cry into his pillow, not hold his tears back or anything, even if it was stupid because Harry was literally here not being able to go visit his fucking boyfriend and yet Niall had to make such a big thing out of it. He just… he had really been looking forward to it. 

“Alright. It’ll been fine, tomorrow will be a lot better.” He didn’t sound very convinced by that and neither was Niall, the other’s hand still rubbing circles between his shoulder blades over the blanket as he continued to cry, not even thinking about what he was saying. Or choking out, more like.

“I just…. I-I just r-really wanna s-see L-Liam… “ Literally, there was nothing Harry could have said or done to make Niall feel better, no point for the blonde continuing to complain about it, but he still did anyways, hoping that his best friend wasn’t going to get fed up with him, because the last thing Niall wanted, even though normally he probably would have preferred it, was being left alone right now.

“I know, Ni. And you will soon, okay? Just try and get some rest, it’s gonna make you feel better, I’m sure it will. I’ll go and see if I’ve got some of the pills my mum always gives me when I’m sick, okay? Later, I mean, I’ll stay here for now.” Thank god Harry seemed to know without Niall having to tell him, though he couldn’t have possibly embarrassed himself any more now anyways so whatever.

It went on for a while, Niall trying to calm down and Harry rubbing his back and talking to him, telling him that it’d be fine, that he could still call Liam and everything, that it wouldn’t be too bad just because it’d be only them this weekend. The truth was, Niall knew that he was right, that it was no big deal, that he wasn’t a child being homesick or anything, but then again, it sure as hell felt like it right now.

Hours could have passed and Niall wouldn’t have noticed, but eventually, he somehow ran out of tears and his body stopped shaking so much, exhaustion coming over him and at some point, the blonde must have fallen asleep during Harry’s attempt to lighten the mood by telling some story, because when he woke back up, it wasn’t only dark outside but he was also alone.

 

\------------

 

“I can’t believe you actually agreed to do this.” Harry still sounded pretty impressed and shocked, even though it had been his idea and they had already been walking for quite a bit now. “Not that I don’t know you’d do anything for him, but… it’s still a little bit risky. Can you just leave your car standing there?”

“Yeah, it’s some garage thing, it’ll be fine, costs a lot, but… “ Not that it mattered, Liam was so excited he almost felt a little bit silly, though he shouldn’t have been at all, because Niall was sick and he had sounded terrible on the phone, his disappointment more than just obvious and though of course Liam had been as well as the blonde had told him what was up, he had definitely been a whole lot more worried about the younger’s health. Sick Niall wasn’t something Liam would have ever wanted to experience, especially not anymore after Harry had suddenly called him quite a while later, first of all not wanting to actually say it before just blurting out with the fact that Niall had cried himself to sleep and that he could pick Liam up from wherever he parked his car and make sure no one saw him if he would decide to come. Needless to say, Liam hadn’t even thought about it twice then, not after the crying part that had caused his heart to ache pretty badly. There were barely any reasons for Niall to cry, and yeah he was sick, but still.

“Niall’s gonna be so happy to see you.” He almost sounded as excited as Liam felt and the older man found himself smiling as they walked across campus, rather quickly even though it was pretty dark and also quite late and Liam had his hood pulled over his head, bag over his shoulder, they still needed to be careful, a lot of people here knew after all. Still, none of it kept Liam from looking around once a while, as far as that was possible, never really having seen any of it, and it reminded the brunette man how Niall had once suggested he should come visit him at college. Liam would have never thought that he would actually do it though. “By the way, since Niall probably wants you to himself in a bit, but if you guys need anything then just tell me, okay? Since neither of you can go outside during the day…. “

“Thank you, Harry, really, you don’t have to do that.” Knowing that Niall had a friend like this was really relieving for Liam somehow, of course he had known Harry for a while now, but they had never been alone before and just judging from this one day, from the younger boy calling him to tell him about Niall up until now, Liam was really glad that this was the boy his best friend had fallen in love with and that he was the one Niall hung out with whenever they weren’t together.

“No, it’s fine. You’re saving me from getting sick myself and sitting on Niall’s bed for two days straight.” There was a laugh and though somehow Liam could tell that Harry wouldn’t have minded at all. “What are you gonna do if he gets you sick as well?”

“Nothing, I don’t know… it’ll be fine, I’m sure, and I don’t have too many important appointments next week anyways.” Which kinda reminded Liam that Louis did in fact have quite a few things to do, they hadn’t seen each other in a while, just texted and stuff, so Liam didn’t even know whether Harry had gone to see him lately or not. Probably though. “You gonna go see Louis next weekend?”

“Yeah, I think so. I know he’s really busy right now, so… but it’s okay, we still skype every day.” He shrugged, as far as Liam could tell in darkness, suddenly feeling really bad like, he and Niall were making such a big thing out of it and here Harry was not being able to see his (almost) boyfriend for weeks or something. “We’re almost here, it’s the dorm over there and also… Niall just texted me, he’s awake. That’ll be fun.”

They hadn’t told the blonde boy, Harry had told Liam that he would if he woke up, but he never had until now, which was good because he really needed his sleep in order to get better. Hearing this though, thinking about Niall having no idea about how they were gonna see each other in just a little bit had Liam grinning so hard that his cheeks hurt. He knew the blonde boy felt poorly, but Liam was going to try his very best to make the situation as bearable as possible, he had even brought the blonde medicine after Harry had admitted that none of them had anything that would have really helped Niall to get better, almost causing Liam to get frustrated. It was good that he was here, not only because somebody needed to look after that boy but also because Liam would have died not seeing him for this long.

Sure, they had been doing the fake dating thing for two months now, and it was honestly the best thing ever, but Liam still wished they could have seen each other more than just on the weekends, and sometimes on a Monday as well. There was nothing they could have done to change that though but the brunette man still couldn’t wait until Niall was finally on summer break, not that he’d tell the younger boy any of this, letting him know just how much he wanted him to stay for longer than just a few days would have probably lead to Niall skipping classes even more. Although, what they had pulled on Instagram yesterday probably spoke for itself too.

Liam had had no idea that he could love this so much, while knowing that the fans thought it was cute and that they were being supportive, and he had honestly not been able to stop smiling for fifteen minutes after Niall had posted that picture, with that caption. It was like… they could say all the things online that they’d feel embarrassed or blush over in real life. Like, Liam of course didn’t know whether Niall had just put that caption there for entertainment purposes or not, but the brunette man certainly hadn’t, he never did, or barely, but no one needed to know that right? That he really did mean 99% of the stuff he wrote on there, especially not Niall. Everything was fine the way it was, and in a few months Niall would be on break and then everything would get even better, so really, there was no need for Liam to make it complicated or anything, it was good the way it was.

They passed by some people while entering the building, but apparently Harry didn’t know them very well so it was alright, he just greeted them briefly and Liam didn’t say anything at all, relieved when they didn’t spare him one look. Now that he was almost there, he really couldn’t have needed anybody to screw it up, or starting to spread rumors, because at one point he’d have to be able to leave again as well and it wouldn’t be very easy with everybody knowing that he was in Niall’s room.

“Glad I stole his keys, I’m not sure if he’d even manage to get out of bed without puking all over himself.” Harry said it like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but Liam’s heart dropped a little bit hearing this, almost falling over the first step actually, too eager to finally get to Niall’s room and just hug him really tightly. And never let go, preferably. 

It were a few staircases and down a hallway before they were standing in front of a door and Harry fumbled the keys into the lock while Liam threw a few glances left and right, taking all of this in, he had never been in a dorm and also had never thought that he would, he knew Louis had been, and Niall had sometimes facetimed him while walking across campus, but actually being here was a whole lot different. Liam liked it though, liked knowing that this was where Niall was every day whenever he wasn’t with him, this was the blonde’s life and the brunette was happy that he got to see it like this, even if it wasn’t for the happiest reason.

Though Liam wouldn’t have minded to just half fall through the doorway and walk to where he knew Niall’s bedroom was, he kept quiet when Harry pressed a finger to his lips, smirking as they walked inside and Liam decided that the younger boy was allowed to have his fun after everything he had done for them. “Hey, Nialler, are you awake?”

The dorm was even smaller than Liam had thought, he just stood there for a moment, staring and taking it in while Harry made sure to close the door after them before leaning against it with one shoulder as if he was preparing to just watch, the older man’s heart making a pretty unsteady jump when he heard Niall’s voice from the other room, quiet, and even more poorly sounding than it had on the phone. “Yeah… where’ve you been?”

“Just went to get something, sorry. Can you come here for a second? I need to show you something.” Liam didn’t know whether it was a good idea for Niall to walk right now when he sounded like this, but there was no protest coming as they waited, just a bit of groaning and then slow footsteps and Liam honestly thought he had to die right then and there. 

“What do you have to show me…?” Niall mumbled right before walking around the corner, not immediately looking at any of them though because he was busy rubbing his eyes before slowly lowering his hands again, blinking a few times, probably confused, and then he suddenly looked right at Liam and his mouth just kind of dropped open as he froze in the doorway, not saying anything at all as he just stared, obviously having run out of words.

Liam actually couldn’t believe that he was here and that Niall was only two meters away from him and though the boy looked really pale and his eyes were a bit red, hair messed up really badly, Liam still couldn’t believe that the blonde could still somehow pull this off, his sweatpants way too big and also his shirt that he would have probably changed had he known that Liam was gonna come. But he hadn’t, and knowing for a fact that the blonde wore Liam’s clothes made Liam even happier than he had already been, even if it was evident that Niall must have felt like crap, it didn’t change the fact that though the brunette man was worried shitless, he had a massive smile forming on his lips. “Hi, babe.”

“Liam… “ He seemed speechless, not moving for a few more seconds and just staring at the older man instead before suddenly making the small distance between them disappear in no time, barely giving Liam any chance to even look at his face close up before Niall’s arms were already wrapped around his neck, almost causing Liam to stumble backwards as he hugged back, tightly. “How… I mean… what?!”

“Harry called me… said you kinda really wanted to see me and… since I wanted to see you as well I thought I’d stop by.” It sounded like a joke and Liam felt himself laughing breathlessly, his face pressed into the younger’s shoulder, holding him so tightly that he knew Niall must have been struggling to stand on his tiptoes, his shirt rugging up underneath Liam’s arms and the moment was so overwhelming that Liam forgot he was speaking for everyone to hear. “I missed you so much… how are you feeling, Ni? Better?”

“Now I do… “ The blonde mumbled somewhere into Liam’s shirt, not really answering the question but it was fine, Liam just turned his head to press a kiss onto the side of Niall’s, rocking them a bit, the smile still prominent on his face, almost hurting his cheeks when the blonde added something, pretty quietly though, maybe not even audible for Harry though he was standing two feet away. “I missed you too, bean… “

They just stayed like this for a while, never loosening their arms, just lingering against one another, appreciating the moment they had thought they would have to wait for for another week. It was only when Niall suddenly had to start coughing that he pulled away immediately, turning his head away from Liam as he coughed into his hand while the older man watched a bit worriedly, hand rubbing up and down the younger’s back softly. That didn’t sound good at all. “You alright, love?”

“’m fine… “ Niall sounded like he would choke, clearing his throat before turning back around, his eyes now bloodshot as he let himself fall against Liam’s side, head on his shoulder, the older’s arm immediately curling around his waist to keep him close and warm. “’s just a cold… “

“I got you some stuff, okay? It’ll make you feel better.” Pressing a kiss to Niall’s forehead, Liam started sorting out some of the blonde’s hair afterwards, feeling terrible yet still happy at the very same time, having Niall cuddling into him like that, needing his support, it was so nice to have him so extremely close, just be with him, be allowed to take care of him when he wasn’t feeling well.

“Okay… how long can you stay?” He sounded very concerned about that, arms now hugging the older man around his middle, cheek smushed against his shirt as he just let Liam do whatever he pleased with his hair, trying to press closer whenever the older man dropped a kiss on the top of his head. Maybe he shouldn’t have, with them not being alone and everything, but honestly, did it really matter anymore?

“As long as you need me to.” Liam meant it, he had things to do next week, but if Niall was still sick then he couldn’t just leave him, he could cancel a few not so important things, it was fine and his priorities were lying somewhere else, everyone would have surely understood. And if they didn’t, well… what did Liam care, honestly.

“Do you want me to help you moving in then?” Harry suddenly joked, for the first time saying something and Liam turned his head a bit to look at him, still leaning against the door, watching them with a smile on his lips. He had just become witness of all of this and somehow Liam didn’t even care, there was nothing he would have changed about this. Well, maybe Niall’s health issues. 

“I would let you… “ Niall mumbled, as if he had also come to the conclusion that keeping things in and being careful with somebody else around was pointless, he sounded really exhausted as well though, leaning heavily against Liam now, as if he might pass out any second, so the older man held on even tighter, with both his arms around him, making sure he had a secure grip on the boy, just in case. And also because he wanted to a little bit.

“Thank you so much… both of you.” Laughing quietly, Liam pressed another kiss onto the top of Niall’s head, briefly wondering what they would have been doing had it been this easy, with Liam just being able to stay as long as he pleased. How would he have ever left?

“No problem. Anyways, I should probably leave, think Niall needs to get back to bed.” That was very true indeed.

“Thank you, Harry, really, for calling me and everything, and for picking me up.” None of this would have worked without him, of course Liam had thought about it, but it hadn’t seemed very realistic so he had been glad that the younger boy had given him the push he had needed because he would have gone insane at home, not knowing whether Niall was alright every second of the day, or whether something had happened to him.

“You’re welcome. Just text me if you guys need anything, okay? I-“

He got cut off as Niall had quickly freed himself from Liam’s arms, the older man automatically letting him go, kinda surprised at first before he saw Niall hugging Harry instead, clearly startling the other boy, but he did return it immediately, petting the blonde’s back softly. “Thanks, Haz… for doing this, I know I’ve been… pretty annoying today, but… thanks for calling Liam and getting him here… “

“It’s okay, Ni. Maybe I just did it so I won’t have to sit on your bed for the entire weekend.” Obviously, it was a joke, Harry laughed for a moment, but his smile was still fond as they kept hugging for a while and though Liam’s arms already felt empty from not holding the blonde anymore, he would probably survive it if it was for this.

“Doesn’t matter… “ It sounded quite genuine, like, Niall was so thankful for this that Liam felt his stomach warming, at the same time feeling flattered but also a bit worried as he thought about just how badly Niall must’ve been, considering how Harry had sounded like when he had called Liam, almost not leaving him a choice. Not that Liam would have wanted that, but the crying part had still really gotten to the older man, not that he would have mentioned it to Niall right now, knowing he would have gotten embarrassed, but he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. 

“You’re welcome… okay, I should probably really go, I’m kinda tired as well. Make sure you do everything Liam tells you to so you’ll get better soon, yeah? I trust his methods a lot more than yours.” As they pulled apart, Niall immediately leaned back against Liam’s chest, letting the older man wrap his arms around him from behind, basically putting half of his weight on him, that’s how exhausted he already was again. “Night, guys.”

“Nigh, Harry.” Liam almost thanked him yet again, but he bit his tongue then, just throwing a smile at the younger boy as he opened the door, winking at Niall after the boy had mumbled a “Bye, Haz” and then he was gone, leaving them all to themselves, almost at the exact same time they would have been had Niall not gotten sick. But he was, and Liam couldn’t help that he immediately got even more into his protective mode now that they were alone, letting one of his arms slip with one remaining around the blonde’s shoulders, lips once more placing a kiss against his rather hot forehead. That definitely was a fever. “Come on, Ni, let’s get you back to bed. I got you some cold medicine, you’re gonna feel a ton better in the morning, I promise.”

“Okay… “ His arm had curled back around Liam’s waist, smiling up at the older man when Liam brushed some hair away from his face, his lips a few shades lighter than normally, and chapped, but the brunette man still wouldn’t have ever thought about it as a reason to not wanting to kiss him. “I’m so glad you came… “

“Me too, Nialler. Can’t leave you all by yourself when you’re sick, huh? But don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’ll get better as quickly as possible, I’ll take care of you… ” Leaning forward a bit, Liam almost thought the blonde would close the small gap between them himself, since they were standing this close and all, but he didn’t. In fact, when Liam’s lips were just millimeters away from Niall’s, the younger boy suddenly turned his head, causing Liam to only reach his cheek, confused as he pulled back. “Am I not allowed to kiss you?”

“Not when I’m sick… I don’t want to infect you, I know you got stuff to do next week.” It almost sounded apologetic but Liam couldn’t help but pout a bit anyways, making the blonde chuckle before leaning in a bit once more, only until his lips brushed Liam’s jaw though, softly, his warm breath causing the older man to get goosebumps, arm immediately tightening around Niall’s thin waist.

“I wouldn’t mind though, we could just stay here all week together and keep getting each other sick.” What a good plan, Liam smirked as the blonde rolled his eyes with a fond smile, his hand resting on the older’s chest, rubbing circles into the fabric of his hoodie.

“And I thought you’re supposed to be the mature one.” He joked, but Liam decided not to keep on pushing it, though he really wanted to kiss the boy right now, really badly actually, he knew that had it been the other way around, he would have done the exact same thing. Also, he wouldn’t force Niall into it obviously, it was his decision whether he wanted to kiss Liam or not, no matter for what reasons. 

“I am, I brought you medicine because I heard you don’t ever take any.” Honestly, Liam was pretty sure he knew why though, but the thought had still made him very uncomfortable, he had even almost called his mother to ask her what he should give Niall before coming here. God, how many times had the blonde fallen ill and not done anything against it? 

“I always get healthy again without it.” The blonde shrugged and before Liam was able to reply anything, Niall had suddenly pressed the tiniest kiss ever into the corner of his mouth, smiling up at him as he pulled back. 

For a second, Liam was too surprised as to really do anything, but looking into Niall’s blue eyes, seeing the cheeky grin on his pale face, the brunette quickly decided that he couldn’t let the boy get away with this, just teasing him with kisses, no way. “Oh, so if we’re not allowed to kiss properly, then I’m still allowed to do this though, right?”

“Do what? Liam-“

Niall never really got to finish his sentence, the confusion written across his face quickly turning into joy as the brunette man held onto him with his second arm as well, tightly, pressing the boy against his own body as he just started peppering Niall’s face with kisses, laughing in between as he heard the blonde’s chuckle, wiggling in his arms and yet never really trying to get away, in fact, he was maybe even trying to get closer, fingers curled into the brunette’s clothes.

It wasn’t something Liam would have ever done two months ago, but things had changed ever since then, ever since they had to hold hands whenever they went somewhere, ever since Liam was so used to calling Niall his boyfriend and kissing him somewhere without even thinking about any of it. There was nothing bad about it though, nothing the brunette man would have thought about anyways, because as long as Niall wanted these things, Liam was going to continue, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him that maybe, just maybe, he should have considered the fact that whatever their best friends were thinking about all of this didn’t seem to be so unlikely after all. That maybe he was a little bit… _in love_ with Niall, or at least had feelings for him that went deeper than just friendship or friends with benefits or whatever. 

Then again, why would Liam have made it complicated, if he could have all of this, could even visit the younger boy at college and kiss and hold him all he wanted, take care of him when he was sick? Why would he make it complicated if it could just be this easy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i took embarrassingly long for this chapter somehow haha. hope everyone enjoyed it! i think i now can say that the story will be somewhere between 20-23 chapters long, i really hope not over that bc its very time consuming haha
> 
> hope everyone liked the chapter, let me know as always! :D and also, idk if anybody counted but after this chapter i think that liam and niall have known each other for about 6 months and a week, is that correct?? i keep forgetting that and it gets really annoying when i wanna mention it haha, so if anybody knows let me know :p


	18. Chapter 18

Liam watched Niall carefully as the blonde crawled back into bed, making sure to steady him with a light hand on his arm, just because he could. The younger’s bedroom almost seemed familiar to Liam, as if he had been here a hundred times before already since it was the place Niall mostly skyped him from. And yet still, it was somehow different, actually being here, actually seeing the boy’s messy closet and the ugly carpet he always complained about, the stain he had gotten there when Liam had made him laugh on the phone and Niall had spit his whole drink on the floor. It really made the brunette wonder why he had never come to visit until now.

“Alright?” Liam asked once Niall had settled into bed, not lying down though but remaining seated, with the blanket pooling in his lap as he nodded while yawning a bit, making the older man smile for some reason. He was cute, and yeah he was sick and probably feeling like shit, but still. “Okay, I’ll quickly go get you the things from my bag and then you can go back to sleep.”

“It’s not like I’ll pass out right away, Li, I’ve slept for like… six hours.” He chuckled, not complaining at all though when Liam pressed a kiss onto his forehead, his lips feeling warmer as he went to search through his bag that he had dropped somewhere on the floor, after Niall had told him that it didn’t matter because his room was already messy anyways. Well, he was kinda right there, but it was nice, it fit the younger boy and somehow it was really cozy too. Or maybe that was just because Niall was sitting on the bed looking all cuddly and sleepy.

“Yeah, but you still look pretty tired though.” There was some coughing behind Liam while he went through his stuff that got him a little worried, prompting him to fasten up his search a little bit, quickly realizing that he probably had forgotten everything at home except for the things he had brought for Niall. “Okay… none of these things taste any good, but they’ll help.”

The blonde pulled a bit of a face at that, closely watching the items in the brunette’s hand when Liam sat on the edge of the bed, allowing himself to smile briefly when Niall immediately scooted closer, his hand randomly resting on the older’s arm for a moment. “Doesn’t sound very promising at all.”

“It’s half as bad, here.” Grabbing a hold of the younger’s hand, Liam softly turned it around before dropping a pill into Niall’s palm, it was just against the fever and everything, but the blonde still seemed pretty unsure about it, which was a little bit strange like… how the hell would he have just gotten healthy again without taking any medicine? “C’mon, Ni, it’s okay.”

Niall scrunched up his nose as he swallowed the pill with some water while Liam made sure to keep his hand near the glass, just in case, he was clearly overdoing it with his protectiveness here, but he just couldn’t help it. “Gross… I think you actually wanna poison me or something.”

“You’ll be thankful for this tomorrow. Open up.” Though the blonde was being a bit overdramatic and pretended having to gag, he did open his mouth rather quickly as Liam told him to, feeding him some of the coughing medicine which had Niall scrunching his face up even more as he swallowed, not looking very happy afterwards. Actually, his whole act was making it really hard for Liam not to laugh, it was like giving medicine to a child or something, and though Niall was obviously exaggerating the whole process, he was still complying easily to whatever Liam told him to do. “See? Didn’t even take five minutes, now you can lie down.”

“Provided I don’t have to throw up again any second… “ The blonde grumbled, but he did get underneath the blanket when Liam held it up for him so he could lie down, making sure the boy was properly covered with it so he wouldn’t get cold, his hand remaining on Niall’s figure over the blanket while the boy tried to get comfortable, coughing a bit more until his eyes got slightly wet and he had to wipe them, still pretending like it hadn’t even happened though. “You know… you don’t have to, like… sleep in the same bed if you don’t want, ‘cos I know it’s small and… I’m sick and the chances of me getting you sick as well would be a lot higher and-“

“I’ll change and then I’ll lie down with you, okay?” There was no point in letting the blonde keep rambling on, so Liam just decided to interrupt, since there was no way in hell he would be sleeping anywhere except right next to Niall, making sure he was alright through the night, why would he have come otherwise if it wasn’t for taking care of the boy and cuddling him?

“Okay… “ Niall seemed relieved by that, he hadn’t sounded very happy offering any of it and Liam knew that it would have been the last thing Niall would have wanted, so he threw the boy a smile, leaning down over him without thinking and kissing his rather warm cheek before brushing his fingers through the blonde fringe, moving the hair out of Niall’s forehead, pressing his lips there as well, just because he could. “You’re really gonna get sick if you keep this up.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Liam chuckled, there was a definite red color making its way into the blonde’s face and though he tried to keep it cool, there was no doubt that this wasn’t leaving him as cold as he would have liked.

“Well… no. Just saying… “ He shrugged before quickly looking away from Liam’s face, instead stirring underneath the blanket and letting out a yawn that sounded very much forced, almost as if he was trying to change the topic. Which was very likely, Liam actually had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh, instead deciding to save Niall the embarrassment and actually getting up to change his clothes after softly rubbing his thumb over the blonde’s cheek.

Of course there came all sorts of inappropriate comments from the boy as Liam undressed himself, just laughing as he put on sweatpants under the younger’s protest, claiming that it’d surely be beneficial for his health if Liam slept naked even though just a second later he had yet another coughing fit. There really was nothing that could have NOT made Niall horny, was there? Although, considering what Harry had told Liam on the phone, he wasn’t quite sure if Niall wasn’t just trying really, really hard to pull himself together in front of Liam, pretend like it wasn’t even that bad when he knew for a fact that the blonde hadn’t even managed to get out of bed this morning without puking. 

“Your bed really is small.” Trying not to think about how many other people had been lying in there with Niall before, Liam made sure to carefully move over the younger boy without hurting him or anything when he was done getting changed, feeling slightly better though when he thought about that he was probably the only one who was just gonna hold the boy close while he slept without any further intentions. “Do you wanna lie next to the wall?”

“No, it’s fine, I don’t wanna, like… I like to have nothing on one side.” Oh, right, his claustrophobia, Liam felt slightly dumb so he quickly decided to drop it, also feeling bad because he hadn’t wanted to embarrass the boy, but it didn’t seem like it at all to be honest, Niall was just watching him, moving a bit closer to the edge so Liam could have more space next to him, a smirk on his lips. “Hmmm…. I think you gotta sleep without a blanket, I wanna be able to keep looking at you.”

“But then I’m gonna be so cold, Ni.” Liam tried to put up the best pout he could manage, finally having gotten into a somewhat normal position, propping himself up on one elbow while Niall had somewhat moved onto his back so they could look at each other, as far as that was possible with all the lights turned off. “And then who’s gonna give you a cuddle, huh? And anyways, I’d probably wake up feeling ill and then we could as well kiss right now because it wouldn’t really make that much of a difference anymore.”

“Okay, okay, here.” Niall jokingly rolled his eyes, his face pretty happy and amused and even though Liam kinda felt a bit desperate to at least give Niall a peck, he was also alright with cuddling up underneath the same blanket as Niall, immediately feeling himself enveloped into warmth, the younger boy almost moving impossibly close at an instant, his body curving into Liam’s as the older’s arm slipped around his waist, both of them lying on their sides now. Right, this was what had been missing when Liam had unsuccessfully attempted to fall asleep during the past few days. Or actually… pretty much whenever he went to bed after Niall had left, it was terrible, in all honesty, not that Liam would have ever told anybody about it, and he knew it was ridiculous, that he had gotten so used to it this quickly, but there was nothing he could have done to change that even if he had wanted to. 

“That’s a lot better, right?” Definitely, Liam felt a rush of relief as they were lying like this and the blonde just nodded, his palm rubbing up and down between the Niall’s shoulder blades before once again moving it into his hair, just playing with it because he knew it got Niall relaxed, his eyes flattering closed every few seconds after a while, hand resting against the older’s bare chest. “You should go to sleep, Nialler.”

“Mhmm… “ Was all the blonde made before lazily rubbing at his eye, not really looking more awake afterwards though and Liam couldn’t hold back a smile, his whole body feeling warm and cozy and just _happy_ while watching Niall, fingers playing with his soft hair, occasionally dropping down to caress his cheek, loving the way the younger boy would lean into his touch though he was clearly getting sleepier by the second. “’m so glad you’re here… “

“Me too, babe… “ Niall had probably gotten too tired to watch his words, but Liam didn’t care, he knew that the blonde meant it anyways and it he felt his heart swelling a bit, even more so when Niall continued, with his eyes already having dropped closed by now, still moving closer even though he seemed to be on the edge of passing out. 

“’nd also… thanks for… for the medicine ‘n stuff and… for bein’ here… and sorry if I… if I get you sick, but I… I don’t want you to sleep on the couch… “ Obviously, but Liam definitely didn’t mind hearing it, smiling dumbly as he listened to Niall’s sleepy ramble, mumbling a few more words afterwards that the brunette couldn’t have identified even if he had wanted to. So instead, Liam just pulled Niall in even closer, as close as somehow possible, loving the way the blonde immediately adjusted in his arms, snuggling up against him.

“That’s okay, love, I wouldn’t mind. Just go to sleep, yeah? I’m here.” This wasn’t really their usual position to sleep in, though they of course had done it, but it still somehow felt different as Liam pressed a kiss into the messy blonde hair before hooking his chin over Niall’s head, hoping that his arms weren’t too tight as he squished the younger boy against his body, but there were no sorts of protest coming, only a very quiet “m’kay…” that didn’t seem to be more than a breath.

The blonde must have fallen asleep like two minutes later because his breath got very even and Liam just kept on lying in silence listening to it, making sure to never loosen his grip on the boy, for once not minding that he was in bed without feeling tired in any way because this was way better than sleeping anyways. He could have just stayed like this the whole night long, just making sure Niall was alright and got his sleep, just hold him and kiss his head whenever Liam felt like it, feeling the younger’s chest softly rising and falling, his occasional movements that somehow ended with them being even closer though it hardly seemed possible now. 

Liam was determined to stay as long as it took for Niall to be alright again, he wouldn’t be able to leave any sooner and he knew it and he also didn’t care about being locked up here for days straight while Niall would probably sleep most of the time. Everything the brunette man really wanted was to know that Niall was alright, and to have him close, and in all honesty, he didn’t even care anymore what exactly that made them, or what it looked like in front of Harry or anybody else because being with Niall was really all that mattered to Liam and he wasn’t even freaked out by that thought anymore as he was simply lying there in the blonde’s tiny bed, at a place he shouldn’t have even been at, because actually, that realization felt pretty damn good.

 

\----------

 

The first time Liam woke up was because Niall was moving and stirring in his arms, halfway having moved out of them in his sleep though, and the brunette man had taken a few minutes until he had realized what was going on and that Niall talking, or mumbling more like, was definitely not coming from a nice dream. Eventually, he had woken the boy up, as softly as possible yet still causing Niall to jerk into a sitting position all of a sudden, his breath going hard while Liam had worriedly rubbed his back, asking what was wrong. He had never really gotten an answer to that though because Niall had practically thrown himself on top of Liam, muttering something like “I thought you were gone” and all Liam had really been able to do was hold the blonde tightly against his chest and over again telling him that he was here and that it was alright until the blonde had calmed down enough to go back to sleep, leaving the older man awake with his heart hurting a bit and afraid to allow himself to drift off as well. Though it was only because Niall was sick and had a fever that he was having nightmares, it didn’t exactly make Liam feel any better.

The second time he woke up though, the brunette man took even longer to figure out what was even going on or why he wasn’t asleep anymore, wanting to pull the blonde back into his arms but suddenly realizing that the space next to him was empty. And also pretty cold, as if Niall had been gone for quite a while already.

“… babe?... Niall?” Liam felt his stomach turning a bit, already close to panicking though he had been asleep literally two minutes ago, immediately leaning over to flick on the lamp on the bedside table though it hurt his eyes like crazy, barely leaving himself any time to even get used to it because there was definitely no doubt that the room was empty except for him. And there was definitely noise coming somewhere from the hallway that had Liam jumping out of bed in no time, his head still feeling dizzy.

It was kinda obvious what was going on, and maybe the brunette man should have considered this as he half stumbled into the bathroom, finding the blonde hunched over the toilet as if he was puking his guts out though Liam wasn’t really sure what the blonde would have been vomiting from because he literally hadn’t eaten anything. Which was not good at all, thinking about it now, the older man should have paid more attention, the boy still needed to eat even if it all came back up.

“Nialler, hey… “ Liam was pretty sure that Niall wasn’t actually throwing up or his stomach would have turned from the smell, but now it was only the sounds he was making that were giving Liam chills, not really thinking about whether he could be grossed out or anything though, he would have still gone in there even if he would have had to puke himself afterwards.

“G-Go… away…it’s g-gross… “ Niall’s words were barely understandable, partly because his head was half in the toilet, resting on one of his arms, but also because he seemed to be crying pretty badly in between and Liam felt his heart breaking. God, how had he managed to sleep for so long, who knows how long Niall had been in here, all alone. 

Ignoring the blonde’s words, Liam simply entered the bathroom, not even hesitating as he sat down on the cold tiles next to Niall, rubbing his palm across his back and up into his hair, momentarily just happy that the blonde had stopped dry heaving for now, just coughing a bit before spitting into the toilet, his body shaking underneath Liam’s hand. “Shhh, it’s okay, babe, I won’t leave you alone and I don’t care how gross it gets, just let it out, love.”

For a moment, it seemed like Niall was gonna respond, but then he had yet another shudder going through his body and Liam just kept on rubbing his back and stroking his hair, pressing his lips to the blonde’s clothed shoulder and leaving it there for a while as he waited for the blonde to calm down again, feeling terrible that there was nothing he could have done to help him. And even more so when the blonde spoke again, or attempted to, his voice sounding hoarse and his throat tight. “L-Liam… I feel l-like s-shit… m-make it s-stop… “

He was definitely full on crying now, sobbing almost, and the brunette man almost panicked for real this time, like, he had no idea what to do or how badly Niall really felt or if he was just emotional and all worked up because of this. All he was sure about was that he felt fucking terrible, that the blonde was begging him like this and that Liam couldn’t offer anything besides cuddles and medicine that apparently hadn’t helped in any way. And yet he still had to force his voice to sound calm and soft, keep up the rhythm of his hand rubbing Niall’s back. “Niall, hey, I know, okay? But I’m here, yeah? I won’t leave you alone, never, I promise. Did you throw up? Or do you think you can sit back a bit?”

“I d-don’t know… I just… I j-just felt really s-sick a-and… “ There was a hiccup interrupting the blonde before he was able to continue, another sob escaping him as well that had Liam’s hair stand on end. “I-I… I d-didn’t throw u-up, but… I f-feel like I h-have to a-and… L-Liam… “

“It’s okay, shsh, I’m here. Come on, try and sit up a bit, yeah? I got you, babe, no worries, I got you.” Liam made sure to get a good grip on the boy, not too tight though, as he helped him sitting back a bit, feeling a pinch in the depth of his stomach as he finally saw Niall’s face, red and wet with tears, his fingers shaky as he tried to wipe some of the wetness away, not really succeeding at it though. “Okay? Feeling any worse?”

“N-No… “ Niall choked out, sniffing loudly before another hiccup interrupted him that Liam could have found cute had they not been in this kinda situation, the blonde looking like a mess, and he still hadn’t calmed down. Liam could tell by how quick his breathing was going, knowing that sooner or later he’d be hunched over that toilet again if he didn’t manage to get him to relax.

“Okay, c’mere, Ni, it’s all good, I promise, everything will be fine… “ In an attempt to at least do something, Liam softly pulled Niall closer, so he was sitting between his legs while the brunette leaned against the wall behind himself, arms wrapping tightly around the blonde as he cuddled closer at an instant, head buried in the older’s bare shoulder, letting Liam feel the shakes going through his body. “See? It’s all good, babe, everything’s okay, I know you don’t feel good but it’s gonna pass, I promise, I’ll get you something to drink in a bit and then maybe you should eat something and we’ll go back to bed, yeah?”

“I d-don’t w-wanna eat… I’ll… I’ll j-just have t-to puke… “ His voice was barely noticeable anymore now, breath warming up Liam’s skin whenever Niall spoke, pressing so tightly into the older man that it almost hurt. Except, Liam didn’t care one bit and only tightened his arms as well, pressing his lips onto the top of Niall’s head, feeling sick at the thought of that there was a possibility that he might have been at home right now, with no idea what was going on.

“But you gotta eat something, Ni, maybe that’s why you’re feeling sick as well. Just a little bit, okay? For me?” Thank god Liam had decided to pack those crackers that really tasted like nothing at all, but he had already kinda figured that Niall probably had nothing to eat at his dorm, since he always told him about how he got take out all the time and had never learned to cook anything. “And if you do gotta puke then it’s okay, I know it’s uncomfortable and you feel gross, but you gotta try and get something in your stomach, yeah? It’ll be fine, babe, I’m here.”

“O-Okay... I’m s-sorry… “ No idea why he was apologizing, but Liam definitely wouldn’t allow it, his lips were still pressed against the boy’s scalp, moving one of his hands to shield the side of Niall’s face instead, thumb wiping away a few the tears, the rest dropping down and wetting the older’s skin.

“Don’t apologize, Nialler, it’s not your fault that you’re feeling bad. And I don’t mind taking care of you, okay? Never. I’ll stay with you for as you need me to, even if it takes weeks, I won’t ever leave you alone.” Maybe Liam was being dramatic here, but it was the truth, he would have stayed for weeks, if Niall needed him to, he wouldn’t care about not being able to go outside or whatever, the blonde literally only had to say one word and Liam would have done anything for him, no questions asked.

“T-Thank you… “ It was almost only a breath, but Liam was still able to catch it, his skin burning as he felt Niall turning his head, lips pressing against the older’s neck for a moment before he stayed still again, the shaking barely noticeable now and eventually stopping altogether the longer they sat like this.

Liam was aware that maybe Niall wasn’t quite himself right now, that all of this was really getting to him, but it didn’t change the fact that it got his heart bumping faster despite the fact that he felt absolutely terrible for liking the way Niall was being so needy and cuddly, never wanting Liam to let him go, always needing to be close to him, even in his sleep. It was a different side of Niall, the one that Liam hadn’t even known existed for quite a while, the one that only ever came out whenever the blonde was sick or hurt in any way, or when he was too tired to care. Short, whenever he forgot to worry about what it’d look like, if it could be embarrassing.

There was no question that the blonde was definitely still trying very hard sometimes to be the cool guy, holding up these walls so desperately at times that Liam wondered whether he needed to be worried. But then again, it’s not like he hadn’t come up with his own theories, he knew that Niall didn’t like attachment, that he didn’t want to be dependent on someone, that he needed to do everything on his own and still got blushed whenever he admitted that he had been missing Liam. It wasn’t hard guessing where this was all coming from, though Niall’s childhood wasn’t something they really talked about, Liam knew enough anyways.

It wasn’t like Niall was never cuddly or clingy on a normal day basis because he was and it was definitely getting more the longer they knew each other, as if he was really starting to trust Liam a lot more, letting him see his weaker sides because the brunette had already seen them a few times already. So it wasn’t like Liam enjoyed Niall being sick and feeling terrible, he simply liked the fact that he was the number one person Niall wanted to be there, that he allowed him to take care of him and hold him like this because it honestly made Liam feel so good even though his heart was still aching for the younger boy, wishing their places could have been switched. 

They sat like this for a while, even though the tiles were cold, but Liam made sure to keep the blonde warm, one arm tightly around his shoulder, his free hand still cupping the side of the boy’s face, thumb rubbing over the soft skin, the only sound being audible being their quiet breaths and Niall’s occasional coughs. Somehow it felt really intimate like this, with Niall’s hand placed right over where Liam’s heart was, as if it calmed him down to feel it beat, neither of them talking and just staying like this, all cuddled up and clinging to one another.

“Niall… ? Did you fall asleep?” There hadn’t been any coughing or moving for a bit so Liam decided to check, keeping his voice quiet and gentle so he wouldn’t startle the boy, his thumb still rubbing circle’s into Niall’s skin, arm feeling a bit weak because of how long he had been holding onto the blonde.

“Hm, no… “ Niall sounded quite tired though he had answered immediately, leaning back just a bit until Liam let him sit up properly, his face luckily not red anymore, the tear tracks had dried up as well and the blonde even managed something like half a smile as Liam kissed his forehead. “I think… I think it’ll be okay if I stand up… “

“Okay, I’m holding you, yeah? Go slowly… “ Of course Liam was worried, making sure to let the blonde do everything at his own pace, always holding onto him somehow, even if it was just for reassuring him that he was right here, that he would have caught him if anything had happened. Which didn’t seem too unlikely because Niall seemed to be sleepy and a bit shaky on his feet at first, obviously grateful for the support Liam offered him. “Everything alright? You wanna drink something?”

“Yeah, okay… “ Though he hadn’t really thrown up after all, Liam could imagine that the blonde probably wanted to clean his mouth, lightly holding onto his hips while Niall was drinking out of the water tap before slumping right back into Liam as if all energy had drained from his body by just that tiny activity. “Damn, ‘m so tired now… “

“I can carry you back to bed if you want.” Liam wasn’t really thinking as he offered, like, of course he would have done it, he just didn’t really think that Niall would actually agree even if he had gone back to hugging Liam’s middle and resting his head against the older’s shoulder, putting more than half of his weight against him. Somehow though, Liam had thought wrong.

“Okay… “ He had taken a few seconds before answering, voice pretty quiet and slow, careful, as if he wasn’t really comfortable with his own choice but was just too tired to walk back to bed by himself. Well, Liam certainly didn’t mind that at all. 

“Put your arms around my neck.” Of course Liam had carried the boy before, but never while Niall had been fully awake, so he wasn’t surprised to see blush tainting the younger’s face as he leaned back a bit to do what he had been told, even more so when Liam kissed his cheek softly, almost aiming for his mouth but then deciding not to do it since Niall seemed to be so serious about it. 

“Okay… if I’m too heavy though, I-“

The blonde got cut off as Liam simply put one arm behind his legs and the other across his back, lifting the boy without any problems at all, a small gasp escaping Niall that got Liam chuckling. “It’s fine, Nialler, you’re actually pretty light.”

“Uh… thanks, I guess…. “ His face was even more blushed now, understandably, so Liam decided not to comment on it, actually very much enjoying the fact that he was allowed to that, cradle the boy to his chest and just carry him back to bed. He was pretty sure Niall wouldn’t have ever said yes had he not been feeling like shit, so on the other hand, though Liam kinda liked carrying him more than he should have, it was also quite worrying to be honest.

It wasn’t a long way obviously, but Liam still managed to walk slowly, telling himself that it was because he needed to make sure he had a tight enough grip on Niall, and because he needed a few tries to actually turn off the lights with his elbow. Once he let the blonde down again, his face was bright pink, but he was smiling up at the older boy, barely noticeably though it still caused Liam’s stomach to go warm as he kissed Niall’s face once more, almost getting the corner of his mouth this time. “Thanks, Li… “

“No worries, I’ll carry you anywhere if you need me to.” Though it came out like a joke, causing Niall to roll his eyes playfully, Liam really did mean it somehow, like, by now it should have probably been obvious that he would have done anything for this boy. “C’mon, get back into bed, it’s cold.”

“What about you?” He sounded a bit troubled as Liam simply helped him to get underneath the blanket without actually lying down himself, hand wrapping around Liam’s wrist to hold him back as he was about to turn, almost getting the brunette man a bit too happy to be appropriate. It’s just, he _really_ enjoyed knowing just how much Niall wanted him to get into bed with him.

“I’ll be there in a second, babe. I got you these crackers, they don’t really taste like anything but I don’t think they’ll make you sick and you need to eat something, yeah?” Liam had no idea how late it even was, but he also didn’t really care because Niall had been sleeping for half the day yesterday anyways and it was probably something like 4 am, he’d have to eat at some point, especially if he already felt sick from being so hungry.

“Yeah, okay… I just don’t wanna, like… throw up on the bed or something.” The blonde shuddered a bit at the thought, his fingers slipping from around Liam’s wrist though as he allowed him to go to his bag, even if he didn’t seem very happy about it. “Or… or on you.”

“You won’t, Ni, it’ll be fine. I’m sure you’ll actually feel a lot better afterwards.” Hopefully, because Liam was really desperate to help Niall in whatever way he could, especially after what he had witnessed in the bathroom, like, he was glad he had somehow managed to calm the blonde down after all, he really didn’t want him to feel this bad again in an hour or something.

Once Liam had found what he had been looking for and returned to the bed, he almost had to smile at how eagerly Niall threw part of the blanket back and made more space for the brunette on the mattress, immediately pressing as close to him as humanly possible. Both of them were sitting up and leaning against the wall, but the blonde was actually half lying on Liam’s arm, barely allowing him to even use it, but it was fine, not like the brunette man cared if Niall wanted to cuddle this close. “Here you go. It doesn’t taste gross, I promise.”

The blonde seemed slightly unsure as he moved his free arm to take the cracker from Liam, the other one still intertwined with the older man’s, not putting up any kind of protest though for which Liam was pretty glad, like… of course he couldn’t have exactly forced Niall to eat, even if he knew that it would have been a good idea if he did. “Smells… weird.”

“I’m pretty sure it actually smells like nothing, Nialler.” Quietly laughing over the face Niall pulled, trying to be extra dramatic of course, Liam felt relieved when the blonde took a bite, chewing pretty long and carefully before luckily eating the rest as well, allowing Liam to let out a quiet breath. “Tastes alright, doesn’t it?”

“Hmm, I guess so… it’s not very good, though, it’s like… eating paper.” Despite his critique, the blonde didn’t complain when Liam offered him more, just happy really that the blonde was getting something into his stomach, no matter what it was. “Did you… did you pack it just for me?”

“Yeah, I got you other stuff as well, for tomorrow maybe, I wasn’t quite sure what you have at your dorm, so… “ Probably nothing, Liam was actually pretty sure, which would also explain why Harry had told him so often that he could call him in case they needed anything, since… since none of them could have even gone out to buy food. 

“Well… I got a few leftover yoghurts in the fridge if you want them.” He was obviously joking, his mouth full with crackers and though it made his words come out a bit harder, Liam would have rather not understood anything if that meant the blonde was eating. “No, but… I do buy stuff, I just… not at the end of the week, ‘cos like… normally I’m with you anyways.”

That was very true and Liam had made it a habit to have extra much stuff at home for whenever the blonde came to stay with him over the weekend, or they’d go grocery shopping together just because they could and because this way Liam could make sure he bought the blonde everything he even remotely looked at. “I know, Ni. And I think I’m gonna have to say no to these yoghurts, babe, but thank you.”

“If you are hungry though then we can call Harry and-“

“Ni, it’s alright, I’m good, yeah? And it’s in the middle of the night anyways, I just wanted to make sure you get to eat something, you probably haven’t for the whole day, am I right?” The guilty look that Niall threw at the older man said a lot more than words, as if Niall felt like he was disappointing Liam or something, when in reality, the only person Liam blamed for this was himself. “It’s okay, you’re eating now, so it’s fine. Are you feeling any better? I think maybe you should take those pills again before going back to sleep.”

“I feel a little better… I don’t feel like I have to puke anymore, so that’s nice, I think you were right.” Niall was still chewing, his head having dropped onto Liam’s shoulder by now, the blanket pulled up all the way to his chin and he actually seemed to be kinda comfortable and cozy like this, his face was still way too pale and he was very obviously feeling cold, but compared to before in the bathroom, that already was a huge step forward.

“I’m always right though, because I’m older than you.” Liam joked, laughing when Niall lifted his head for a moment just to glare at him and roll his eyes a bit before going back to eating crackers, letting out a huff.

“Five years aren’t even that much… you’d actually fit in pretty well at college if you ask me.” He had told Liam that on multiple occasions and though Liam had no chance to find out whether it was true, he never really felt a lot older than Niall either, which was good like… they probably wouldn’t have ever started to get along so well if the blonde had been a lot younger. Also… it probably would have been quite the scandal to make it public. “Not that I’d suggest you to try it…. it’s _horrible_.”

“Aww, come on, Ni, it can’t be that bad. You got your best friend here and everyone seems to like you and you don’t have to try too hard to pass either.” Well, he at least pretended to try hard whenever Liam asked him about it, or whenever he offered to quiz the boy whenever he had a test coming up. Needless to say, Liam never really mentioned that half of the time he had no bloody idea what he was even reading in those books. 

“Yeah, I guess, but… I’ve never really enjoyed studying, I was horrible in high school as well, as you probably know.” Yeah, Liam definitely knew about that, because, well… he was pretty sure that there weren’t many things they hadn’t talked about yet. Sometimes Liam felt like he knew Niall better than any of his other friends though they had only known each other for about six months, but like… he didn’t have those late night post sex talks with anybody else obviously, or those long skype calls or the conversations they had while making food together or showering together, it… it was different. In a really good way. “And if I do manage to graduate at some point, I’d still have no idea what I would even wanna do afterwards.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you a job as my date to every event I gotta go to and to keep me company for whenever I’m on tour.” In all honesty though… Liam totally would have done that, he had even offered to pay for Niall’s dorm a month back, when the blonde had had a fight with his dad on the phone and told him about it later when the problem had already been solved, but it had still gotten Liam worried. He knew that the blonde had had a Saturday job before they had met that he had gotten fired from it because the place he had worked at had closed down, but he really couldn’t have gotten one anymore now, like… they’d never see each other if he did and Liam was determined to prevent that from happening. Even if he knew that Niall would have rather dropped out altogether than let Liam pay for anything at all. 

“Also as your fuck buddy?” Well…

“I didn’t say that, but if you wanna apply for-“

“Excuse me?! _Apply_? I’ve got half a year of experience, there’s no one else who would even come _close_ to being able to fill that position as well as me.” Niall honestly almost sounded offended, making Liam laugh a bit louder than intended before he pressed a fond kiss onto the top of Niall’s head, ruffling his hair with his free hand afterwards. 

“Come on, it was just a joke, babe. Although you know that I would actually get you a job if you need one, right? Like… as my personal assistant or something, it’d be fun.” Probably not anymore once Liam would end up on the wrong planes going to the wrong places, but it didn’t seem to be like a very realistic scenario anyways because Niall would have never actually taken him serious enough to say yes. Also, Liam wanted the boy to have his own life of course, and do whatever he wanted and graduate from college and stuff like that, since he had such a strong sense of independence when it came to these kinda things. The only reason why Niall was still accepting money from his dad was one, because he couldn’t get another Saturday job and even if he did, it would have never paid enough, and second, he had told Liam that his dad was going to make him pay it all back anyways once he had a job, so he just saw it as borrowing for now. 

“Yeah, good idea. The first thing I’d do was make sure you’d sell that house and move closer to me.” Alright, there definitely was a lump in Liam’s through now, even if Niall wasn’t being serious and laughing, filling his mouth with the last few crackers while the brunette tried to get over it, tried his hardest not to feel bad for not really being able to give the blonde a real answer to that, even as just a joke, instead deciding to end this before it got really weird and uncomfortable. Or… depressing.

“Sounds good to me. You finished with those? It’s pretty late, maybe we should try to get some more sleep, huh?” Niall actually didn’t seem that tired anymore, but he was still sick and it was noticeable not only by how he made sure to stay covered by the blanket and by how cold his fingers were against Liam’s skin, but also the little coughs he would let out once a while, clearly trying to suppress them though. 

“Yeah, okay… I’m not sure if I can still sleep though, I feel pretty awake now after those crackers.” Good, that was what Liam had been hoping would happen, but he would definitely still make Niall lie down with him and at least attempt to get some more rest, also because otherwise he would be exhausted again in a few hours.

“That’s fine, let’s just try, okay? We can also stay up and talk if you can’t sleep, yeah?” Liam offered, even though he himself was kinda really tired and had to try to not let out too many yaws, so he was quite glad when Niall agreed to that plan, because well… Liam would have definitely forced his eyes to stay open if the blonde had told him that there was no way he could have gone back to sleep now.

In the end, they did keep on talking for quite a while, with Liam on his back this time and Niall’s head on his chest and an arm wrapped around his stomach, both of them covered tightly with the blanket and creating a warm and comfortable space underneath, getting the blonde sleepier way faster than Liam would have thought. Niall passed out somewhere in the middle of the conversation, with Liam also having to fight sleep since a few minutes already, having stopped rubbing the blonde’s shoulder a while ago because his hand had gotten too tired and he had probably kept it up for at least half an hour.

What neither of them had gotten too exhausted for though was keeping their hands intertwined over Liam’s stomach, the blonde having started to play with his finger once he had gotten more tired, and eventually, they both slept in like this, while still holding hands, and though maybe that was kinda questionable for various reasons, it wasn’t really the first time they had done it either.

 

\----------

 

When Niall woke up, he was a bit confused as to what the warmth on his cheek was, moving on to his forehead and then his ear, not feeling unpleasant in any way though but actually making the blonde feel even sleepier than he already was. He didn’t feel too bad, only a bit cold and his head was still hurting as well, for a moment not really knowing what was going on, hearing some movement next to him and then his nose suddenly filled with Liam’s scent, his memory coming back at an instant. Oh, thank god it hadn’t just been a really good dream.

“Hmmm… Liam… “ Niall wanted to be closer to the older man, knowing that there was a bit of distance between them though he now knew that it were Liam’s fingers stroking his face, thumbing at his ear, his lips placing a kiss on Niall’s temple just as the blonde’s eyes flattered open, blinding trying to reach for the older man. 

“I’m here… are you awake?” His voice was soft and gentle, hand slipping back underneath the blanket now before his arm wrapped around Niall’s waist, pulling him closer to the brunette man until they were chest to chest once more, Liam’s lips resting against Niall’s forehead. Pretty sure that if Niall had gone to heaven, it would have felt exactly like this. “How are you feeling, babe?”

“’m okay… “ A lot better than yesterday, which may or may not have been linked to the fact that Niall had been about and ready to just keep on crying the whole weekend long when he had suddenly seen Liam standing in the middle of his dorm, smiling and holding his arms open for the blonde as if it was the most normal thing in the world. But it wasn’t, not in a million years would have Niall ever gotten the courage to pick up the phone and beg Liam to come, and he knew that he could count himself so fucking lucky that his best friend had known that, doing the work for him. Even though there was a pretty big chance that Harry had told Liam about the crying and stuff… Niall didn’t really care because it was a pretty small price to pay if he got to have Liam with him in return. Plus, the older man probably wouldn’t have brought it up anyways. “… how late’s it?”

“Like… eleven in the morning or something, I’ve been awake for a while.” He was talking against the blonde’s skin, his breath feeling warm, causing goosebumps to rise all over Niall’s body as he tried to cuddle closer into Liam’s body, seeking the warmth, his eyes still pressed close as he tried to hold onto that moment where he literally didn’t care if he came off as needy. Then again, who cared about that anyways, Niall had been acting this way ever since Liam had gotten here and he was still blaming it on the fact that he was sick, though maybe he had been a bit too hysterical last night in the bathroom, but… it had felt so good, having Liam there holding and kissing him, just being there and telling him that it was alright. “You’re pretty cute when you’re asleep, you know… “

“’m not… “ Had Niall been more awake, he would have probably blushed, but right now he only felt tired and in need of cuddles, maybe even feeling a tiny bit flattered. 

“You are… and you’ve been talking as well, but I didn’t really understand anything you’ve been saying.” Liam chuckled a bit, his body shaking slightly against Niall’s, his fingers now in the blonde’s hair, just brushing through softly, sorting it out a bit. “Do you wanna have something to eat? Or drink? Anything?”

“No, ‘m good for now… thank you… “ Actually, Niall felt pretty good, apart from the fact that his body was still aching, but it had definitely gotten better compared to when he had woken up yesterday and thought he had had to die in the next few hours. That was definitely coming from the fact that Liam was here with him, that he had been holding Niall the whole night through and kept him warm. “How long have you been awake for?”

“Like an hour or something. I woke up because someone was making a hell lot of noise in the hallway.” That was definitely something Niall wasn’t going to miss about his weekends spent in his dorm, ever since he always went to see Liam on Friday’s.

“That’s the arsehole two doors down… he always does that on the weekend. I hate him… “ Not really, but Niall was tired and Liam was warm and everything the blonde really wanted was to just go back to sleep, even though he wasn’t quite sure if he even would have been able to since he had literally been sleeping for probably 20 hours or something. With some interruptions of course, but now that he felt more awake and everything, now that it was morning, Niall wasn’t even quite sure anymore what they had even been talking about last night. Hopefully it hadn’t been too embarrassing. 

“I hate him too and I’ve never even seen him.” There was a laughter shaking Liam’s body that Niall felt all too well since he was pressing so close, still causing him to smile with closed eyes though, because Liam’s laughter surely was one of his favorite sounds in the world. It still seemed so surreal that he was here, just imaging the older man in Niall’s dorm seemed kinda strange, like… him lying in the blonde’s small bed and everything, it seemed like his presence alone was somehow brightening the whole place up. 

“You’ll never have to meet him either… unless someone’s seen you going in here last night.” That guy down the hallway had actually once asked Niall about Liam, now that he thought about it, he was _definitely_ going to make sure Liam was never going to ever see that guy. Not because Niall would have been jealous or anything, but because it served him right, obviously.

“I don’t think so. It was pretty dark and Harry just straight up brought me here. Also… if people did know that I’m here, we would have probably not been able to sleep for that long.” True, they would have knocked on Niall’s door like crazy or something, it would have been quite the scandal actually, and yet Liam had decided to come, had decided to risk all of that. Just for Niall. “I just hope no one sees my car, I mean… seems pretty unlikely, and it’s also quite far away, but that would suck a bit. But I’m sure it’ll be fine, they don’t know all my license plates anyways.”

“Not _all_ of them? Sounds very… comforting.” Not really, even though Niall had had 6 months to get used to all of this, there were still things that surprised him once a while. 

“It’ll be fine, I’m sure. I don’t think anyone would ever even consider me coming here.” Liam’s fingers were still brushing through Niall’s hair in the gentlest way, causing shivers to run down Niall’s spine every single time, almost making him wish like they would have never had to get up again. 

“True… not even I would have ever thought you would, like… not ever since I really saw how big of a deal it would be if anyone ever saw you here.” Yeah, Niall had once offered it to Liam, months ago, but that had been when the blonde had still sometimes forgotten about Liam being a celebrity and everything. He still did now sometimes, but it was pretty hard whenever they were at Liam’s house or the brunette man took him along to photoshoots or played him parts of new songs he had recorded. It was good though, even though the blonde would have still gratefully traded all of that for just having Liam here with him the whole time, he was also good with this, and he was soon gonna be on summer break anyways and then he could see Liam so much that he’d grow sick of him. Or probably not, it seemed very unlikely that _anyone_ could have grown sick of Liam, ever.

“Yeah… but it’s okay, ‘cos I’d always come if you need me.” His voice had gone a bit softer, and more quiet, Niall could hear the smile though he couldn’t see it, hoping that Liam’s cheeks were getting at least a little bit red as well because his surely were. Not that there was a reason to, considering everything that had already happened between them, but at times Niall still had trouble saying certain things out loud, or hearing Liam say certain things to him, even if they made his stomach go warm. “And I meant it like… what I said last night and everything, I’ll stay for as long as you need to get better, okay?”

“Hmm… then I’m gonna have to find a way to make sure I’ll never get healthy again, I guess.” It was a joke, of course, but maybe Niall wouldn’t have minded not getting healthy again so quickly, like, he knew that if he had begged, or simply asked, Liam would have stayed, even if there hadn’t been anything wrong with Niall at all, but again, it would have just made him look like a whiny baby. Also, the brunette man would have to leave at some point after all.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea, babe, you’d miss all your classes and-“

“Well, you could just stay in here while I’m going to classes then.” Seemed like a brilliant idea to Niall, he felt his face getting hot once more with how much he was into that idea while at the same trying to let it come off as a joke as well, but just the thought of Liam being in here the whole time, being Niall’s secret, was more appealing to the boy than he would have liked to admit. 

“And I’ll just stay in your bed all day, huh?” Liam chuckled, luckily either not taking it serious at all or at least pretending not to and Niall allowed himself to laugh a bit as well, starting to move now because his arm was kinda falling asleep in the position they were in. And also because he hadn’t seen Liam’s face all day long. 

“Yeah. And you don’t even need to wear clothes either.” Okay, Niall definitely needed to stop this conversation before he got way too into that idea, or started to imagine Liam naked in his bed, because that would have definitely not ended well at all. Especially ever since he had made the decision to not let the older man kiss him for as long as he was sick, like, of course Niall really, really wanted to, but just for once, he decided he needed to be a little bit mature about this as well.

“You and your dirt mind, Nialler. You sure would like that, wouldn’t you?” They were finally able to look at each other now, Liam’s arm still remaining around the blonde’s waist underneath the blanket, his eyes crinkling up as he laughed, hair still from messy from sleep and Niall was pretty sure his heart stopped for a second or two as he just watched the older man laughing before smacking a kiss to the younger’s forehead, something he seemed to have become fond of doing ever since Niall’s lips had become a taboo last night. Honestly though, Niall was _so close_ to breaking that fucking rule.

“Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t like it as well, bean, I’ve known you way too long for that.” Especially the way Liam was when they had sex, for which Niall was pretty proud of because he was 99% sure that barely anyone had experienced the older man in bed the way Niall had. Liam had even once admitted that, that they were doing things he would have never even considered doing but that he really loved the fact that they could try new things and not make it a big deal, like the car thing and stuff like that. 

“I-“

Liam never really had the chance to say whatever he had opened his mouth for because at that exact moment, they both had to flinch as they heard one of their phones going off on Niall’s nightstand, very unmistakably not being Niall’s because he wouldn’t have dreamed of putting his phone off silent on the weekends. “Did you have an alarm set?”

“Um, no… wait, I’ll get it, lie down, I-“

“It’s fine, Li, already got it, here.” Niall had simply rolled around and half out of Liam’s arms to get the older’s phone, feeling cold for a moment as the blanket half slipped off of him, not looking at the screen though to see who was calling, like, it was probably Liam’s manager or something.

Or maybe not. “Thanks… shit, it’s my mum.” 

“What, are you serious? How appropriate that she’s calling _now_ that you were just making plans to stay naked in my bed the whole week.” The blonde couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him, not even being shut up by Liam rolling his eyes while half smiling at Niall, but there was definitely a slight blush tainting his cheeks as well. 

“Oh shush, you dork. That was _your_ plan, not mine.” Covering Niall’s mouth with one hand, Liam was still shaking his head fondly at the younger boy laughing next to him as he picked up, very obviously having to force his voice to sound somewhat normal. “Hey, mum… “

“Tell her I said hi.” The blonde had had some trouble to get Liam’s hand away from his mouth, having to use both his hands to just get it to slip a little bit and then just continuing to hold onto it as Liam nodded at him absently. 

“Yeah, I’m good… no, I’m not, home, I… “ At this point, Liam hesitated for a moment, throwing a look down at the younger boy who was still grinning and seconds from bursting out with laughter again, obviously causing the older man to decide that there was no need for him to lie anyways when Niall could have screwed it up in a second. “I’m with Niall, and he says hi, by the way… Yeah… no, I… I’m at his, uh, dorm, at college, I-… no, mum, calm down, it’s fine, yeah? No one saw me… no, we’re not going outside, Niall’s sick… no, he’s fine…. Mhmm… yes… yes….“

It went on like that for a while, Niall would have gotten bored had he not had so much joy just watching Liam’s face, his expressions changing, the way his mouth moved when he talked and… anyways, fact was, he wasn’t bored at all. The blonde had never met Liam’s parents or anybody he was related with, he had only once talked to one of Liam’s sisters when she had called her brother on skype while Niall had been over for the weekends, but he did know what they all looked like and everything, the brunette man clearly more willing to talk about his family than Niall. And he had every reason to as well because even though Niall didn’t know them, they sounded like very nice people.

Ever since Liam had decided to tell his mother the truth and not make his family believe the whole dating lie as well, his mum would always ask about Niall, how he was doing, telling Liam to tell the blonde hello from her and stuff like that. It was really nice of her and Niall wouldn’t have expected that at all, especially since she knew that the faking thing was just a lie, but from what the brunette man had told him, she had taken it, really, really well. Not that Liam had gone to her and told her that him and Niall were having sex the whole time, he had told her a… bit of a milder version of that.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll ask him… yeah, I’m gonna call you back, mum… “ At this point, Niall was getting a bit curious, he kinda had the feeling this was about him, but he wasn’t quite sure, so he just waited for Liam to hang up the phone, still holding the older’s hand in both of his, playing with his fingers while Liam was still talking. “Yeah… okay, love you too, mum.”

“Everything okay?” Niall just blurted out with the question as soon as Liam had put down his phone, his facial expression a bit weird, but not as if anything terrible had happened, more as if… as if he was nervous.

“Well, yeah, but… “ Liam took a breath, propping himself up higher on his elbow but leaving his free hand in between Niall’s, only briefly looking at the younger boy as he continued, almost getting Niall worried. Even though there was absolutely reason to as he found out about ten seconds later. “So my mum, she… you know how she is, I told you about her and… she kinda… really wants to meet you. Since a while already and I told her we’re just friends and everything and that it’s not like…. you know, but… she still wants to meet you anyways, so… “

“Sure, I’d love to meet her.” The blonde just answered without thinking, like, why would he have needed to think about that anyways, _of course_ he wanted to meet Liam’s mum, why wouldn’t he?

“Oh… really?” Liam sounded pretty surprised by that reaction, positively though because his smile was back just a second later, as if he was relieved that it had gone so easy. 

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?” What had he thought would happen? That Niall was gonna refuse and make a scene? Yeah, he had acted a bit like a baby yesterday, but he wasn’t after all, and Liam’s mum seemed to be really nice and anyways, Liam was her son and he had to have gotten it from somewhere, right?

“I don’t know… I thought maybe you’d think it’s weird… as if we’re dating for real or something… “ The older let out a bit of a nervous laughter, returning the squeeze of Niall’s hands though and the blonde decided not to think about this in depth, they weren’t dating after all, and Liam’s mum knew that as well.

“No, it’s fine. I’m really good with parents.” If they weren’t his own at least, but Niall didn’t really wanna say that so he just smiled, happy that Liam was happy about his reaction, though he kinda made it pretty obvious that he had been wanting to introduce Niall to his mother as well, but it was whatever, there was no meaning behind that, right? It was totally normal. 

“Okay, I’m glad to hear that.” His laugh sounded more relaxed now, pressing a quick kiss to Niall’s temple and it got the blonde’s stomach twisting more than expected. In a really good way though. “It’s just gonna be my mum, though, okay? Like, she’s just gonna come over next weekend, if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, sure... I really hope I’m gonna be healthy again until then or… or you’re gonna have to get me there while I’m lying in the back of your car and try not to ruin the seating.” Obviously Liam wasn’t gonna stay until then, but… Niall was pretty sure he could get the older man to at least stay until Monday, he needed to be two days fever free before he could go back outside after all, right?

“I’m sure she’d still like you, even if you had to get up to puke every two minutes, so no worries.” He actually sounded pretty excited now, as if he had been meaning to ask Niall that for a long time and though the blonde maybe shouldn’t have felt the exact same way about this, he still somehow did, returning the smile Liam was throwing at him with his dimple showing, making it pretty hard for the blonde to not just lean up and kiss it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! hope you all liked the chapter! :D
> 
> just so no one gets confused, i will not be able to update next friday as i will be gone over the weekend, but i will try to maybe get the next chapter up before that, if i dont then i will still definitely try to get back to my schedule as soon as possible and make sure you guys wont have to wait too long!


	19. Chapter 19

Liam stayed until Tuesday night without any trouble or coincidences at all. Although the older man did almost screw it up once by posting a picture of Niall sleeping [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/e3e1e1f0cebf27fce94d863065002cba/tumblr_inline_o1qsznT4ep1rggmxj_500.jpg), almost giving the blonde a heart attack when he saw it Saturday night after having fallen in and out of sleep the whole day long, thinking that someone might have been able to recognize his sheets in the picture. But no one did, luckily, and the only person who ever left or entered Niall’s dorm for the time Liam was there was Harry, who had taken it upon himself to bring the two food without being asked and though Niall offered to pay him back, his best friend always refused to take any money at all. At least from Niall, because the blonde was pretty damn sure he saw Liam slipping Harry quite a bit more money than the groceries could have ever been worth.

Actually, Niall felt quite healthy again on Monday morning and though he knew that maybe it was wrong and he could have easily gone to class again the next day, he was moping around the whole day on purpose, knowing that Liam couldn’t have left until it had gotten dark, so even though the brunette probably knew what was going on, he didn’t even ask before staying another 24 hours. 

They didn’t do much, just mostly staying in bed and talking, showering together because Niall pretended he was too weak to do it by himself and though he broke his own rule by kissing the older man pretty desperately on Sunday, they didn’t really go any further than a few handjobs for the time Liam was there. Which was pretty rare honestly, but Niall was kinda sick the whole time or recovering from it, so he felt pretty alright with just cuddling with Liam and talking, a few times watching the older man cook something in his kitchen while Niall just sat on the counter, sticking his finger into everything Liam made to taste it and the brunette man just let it him, only playfully clapping the younger’s hand with his spoon. Then again, he _always_ did that, because Niall had only ever cooked for Liam once a few weeks ago and though he had screwed up pretty badly in the end, Liam had still taken it upon himself to make sure they wouldn’t ever forget about it by sharing it online, making Niall come off as a lot more skilled than he would ever be. [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/842a53fcb12aa8fc88e7a26c70386511/tumblr_inline_o1yc98aPpS1rggmxj_500.jpg)

All in all, it was a really good extended weekend, so good in fact that Niall decided he needed to be ill more often, because though he had definitely felt like absolute shit for the first two days, it had been worth it, being able to skip to two days of classes and getting Liam all to himself with barely any other human interaction. Quite funny actually, since Niall had always been someone to need people around after some time of being alone, suddenly he felt like one single person was more than enough. Or two, because he never minded Harry stopping by and staying for a bit, not too long though, since he claimed he didn’t wanna get sick, but probably was only tired of seeing Niall and Liam being all cuddly. 

“I still think it’d be a cool idea if I just get into your car right now and just go home with you. Imagine how boring the car ride will be all by yourself.” They were almost at Liam’s car now and it was chilly outside, already 10 pm as well and Niall felt a bit worried thinking about the older man having to drive home for hours now. Then again, he could sleep in tomorrow anyways and he was a good driver, it’d be fine for sure.

“I think I’m gonna survive, Ni, it’s not that extremely long. And we’ll see each other again in three days.” Of course, Liam was once again way too invested in the blonde’s education. Well, and maybe because he knew that if he allowed Niall to do this once, the blonde would probably keep on doing it and they both knew it.

“But three days can be pretty damn long.” Niall complained, swinging their arms a bit between them because it felt good being able to do that. The blonde had pulled his hood up as well once they had left campus and had made sure no one had been following them, only then being brave enough to slip his hand into Liam’s even though campus was usually pretty dead around that time during the week anyways. But still, they had gotten this far, there was no need to screw it up now. “And I got pretty shitty and boring classes tomorrow.”

“You always use that excuse, babe, doesn’t work anymore, sorry.” Liam laughed a bit, suddenly pulling Niall closer to him by his hand and before the blonde could wonder about it, he realized that the older man had done it because a car had been passing them by and Niall had been walking on that side of the sidewalk. There really was no person in the entire world Niall would have allowed to be so protective over him other than Liam, no doubt. “I got a pretty boring photoshoot on Thursday as well, so you’re not alone.”

“I bet it won’t be boring at all and you’re just saying that so I’ll feel better.” None of his photoshoots were ever boring, well, maybe for Liam himself but definitely not for Niall whenever he saw the pictures afterwards, like the ones the older man had taken for his new album which had come out like, three weeks ago, when Niall had been lying in Liam’s bed on a Saturday morning, waiting for the older man to get back from some meeting the blonde had felt too tired to get up for. Needless to say, they had had _a lot_ of fun once the brunette man had returned, and until then, Niall had had a lot of fun by himself laughing over Liam’s fans reactions’ being very similar to his own. [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/a0a132b9f51d94f8b0b3d217b05e9680/tumblr_inline_o1ycafBJDH1rggmxj_500.jpg)

“I’m actually not, not this time anyways. It’s for this magazine that I did the interview for where they asked me a whole bunch of questions about you, remember? I still don’t know how much of it they’re gonna leave in though.” Now that sounded even _further_ from boring.

“The one where you declared your undying love for me and half planned our wedding?” Niall couldn’t help but laugh, it hadn’t been quite that extreme, but from what Liam had told him, he had gotten quite a few questions that had been really pushing the limit, which he hadn’t been able to joke about though because it would have probably gotten a bit too obvious. 

“Yeah, exactly that one.” Liam was probably rolling his eyes now, Niall didn’t even have to see his face in order to know that, knowing that it was fine though when the older man leaned in and down a bit to press a kiss onto the top of Niall’s head. “Anyways, I think we’re gonna be fine, we’ll see each other again before you even know it. We can text tomorrow, the whole day long, and I’ll call you on skype tomorrow night, okay?”

“Yeah, okay… three days still seems pretty long to me though.” Okay, Niall definitely _was_ a baby, but after these four days, he kinda wasn’t sure anymore if that was even so bad considering the fact that it had gotten Liam to stay for another whole day long. 

“I know, Nialler… it does for me too. But it’s gonna be fine, yeah?” It was kinda unfair, that Niall was always the one whining and Liam had to pretend like it wasn’t affecting him at all when it clearly was, so the blonde decided to stop complaining for now seeing as there was no way for him to get what he really wanted anyways. “And you’re gonna meet my mum as well, that’s something to look forward too as well, right?”

“Yeah… that’s the actual reason why I can’t wait for the weekend, not because of you, you know.” The blonde joked, immediately starting to laugh when Liam stopped in the middle of them walking, automatically causing Niall to stop as well, smirking as he saw the brunette man pretending to be pouting, even after Niall made that one step of distance between them disappear and pressed a kiss onto his lips. But definitely not anymore after what kinda so happened to slip out of the blonde’s mouth, causing his cheeks to go warmer at an instant. “Just kidding… there’s no one I’d ever be more excited to see than you.”

“Aww, Nialler, don’t be so cute.” Liam’s face had immediately turned all happy and smiley again and even though Niall almost felt embarrassed after what he had just said, he decided that it was definitely worth seeing Liam like this, AND getting another, very soft and sweet, kiss on top of that. “Thanks though…” 

“It’s true… “ Shrugging, Niall gently pulled on Liam’s hand to make him keep walking with him again, even if maybe just standing around there in the middle of the sidewalk didn’t sound like a bad idea at all either, especially because it would have pushed the moment of their goodbye a little bit further into the future. “Will you call me as soon as you get back home?”

“Don’t you wanna go to sleep though? It’s gonna be quite a while until I’m home and you gotta get up early tomorrow, Ni.” They were both walking more slowly than necessary for obvious reasons, Niall knew that they were almost where Liam’s car was parked at and though he had kinda been trying to push it into the back of his head until now, it was kinda becoming more real to him than he would have liked. 

“It’s fine, I won’t be able to sleep until I know you’re alright anyways.” That wasn’t even a lie or exaggeration or anything, Niall was being dead honest here, he trusted Liam and everything, but you never knew after all, right?

“I… “ For a moment, Liam seemed to contemplate whether he should have said yes or kept on trying to change Niall’s mind, but seeing as he had even been trying to talk Niall out of walking him to his car because he didn’t want the boy being alone on his way back, he couldn’t have really come up with any good enough argument. “Okay, I’m gonna call you. But then you gotta go to bed immediately afterwards, okay? You’re still recovering so you need your sleep and everything. Oh, and don’t forget to take the pills again, yeah? And don’t shower too long or you’re gonna be sick again.”

“I know, Li, I won’t forget, you’ve been telling me that at least 10 times today already.” He had been pretty close to actually writing Niall a list and though the blonde was chuckling now, his heart was swelling a bit every time thinking about how serious Liam was about this, how no one had ever really cared this extremely much about him, wanted him to get better and stay safe. 

“And I’m gonna be telling you another 10 times until we’re at my car if you want me to.” Though it sounded like a joke, Niall wasn’t really sure if it actually was one until Liam suddenly pulled his hand out of Niall’s to wrap around the younger’s shoulders instead, pulling him in close out of nowhere, pressing another kiss into the blonde hair. “No, but seriously… I just want you to be alright, nothing else. I still don’t know if it’s been a good idea that you’re walking me to my car, it’s quite cold… you’re not freezing though, are you? You can have my jacket for when you’re walking back, okay?”

“I know, Li, and it’s fine, I got a jacket on _and_ a hoodie as well, I think it’ll be alright.” Actually, Niall had already kept one more piece of clothing from Liam, the hoodie he had on actually belonged to the older man, who had made Niall put it on claiming that none of the blonde’s hoodies were warm enough even though that clearly wasn’t true at all. But not like Niall would have ever said no, not even embarrassed about it anymore either since Liam had already seen the blonde sleeping in his shirt as well so it really was whatever at this point. 

“Hmm… we’ll see about that.” Liam almost sounded as if he really meant it and maybe he did, maybe he was really thinking about forcing Niall to get himself into yet another jacket, but the fact that he would have only done it because he really cared about the blonde quickly caused Niall to suppress his protest. Whatever, if it made Liam happy, he would have probably done it.

They only had like a few minutes left together and Niall could already see Liam’s car, even though they were walking so damn slowly, even more now that Liam had his arm wrapped around the blonde’s shoulder and Niall had reached for the older’s hand without thinking, their fingers intertwining immediately, as if they were meant to be this way. “Your car really does stick out, even when it’s so dark.”

“Yeah, I know, but doesn’t seem like anybody’s seen it standing there and connected the dots.” Since Liam sounded relaxed, Niall felt himself getting calmer as well, he was right after all, had people seen and recognized the car as Liam’s, they would have probably… started camping outside of Niall’s dorm room or something.

“There better not be any love letters between your windscreen wipers though.” Laughing, Niall heard Liam snort next to him, for a moment amused by the thought before he suddenly realized that that scenario didn’t seem to be so impossible at all. It had probably already happened to the brunette man before, actually.

“What would you do if there were?” Liam was fumbling for his keys now with his free hand and Niall felt his heart sinking a bit, trying really hard now to keep his own promise to himself that he was gonna get it together until Liam had left. There were still hours ahead of him to feel sorry for himself for having to stay behind after all, no one had to know.

“Well, I’d probably think it’s cute for a second and then… then I’d think that it’s really, really creepy.” More than that actually, even though Niall would have probably recognized Liam’s car as well just from looking at it and the license plate, but… that was different, he was supposed to know these things, he was Liam’s fake boyfriend after all. And a pretty good one, if he may say so himself. “And I’d suggest you don’t read any of them either.”

“Why not? I thought you think it’s cute when they give me letters.” The older man was just laughing, unlocking his car now that they had managed to reach it, even while walking as if they might have slept in any second.

“You cannot read other people’s love letters in front of your boyfriend, Liam. I… even if it’s your fake one, I mean.” Oh, that had come out a bit wrong. Niall felt his face heating up for almost forgetting to add the second part, for a moment worried that Liam would think it was weird, but luckily, it seemed like the brunette man hadn’t even noticed at all as he just kept on chuckling, pressing a soft kiss to Niall’s temple before very slowly pulling his arm free. “Anyways, there aren’t any, so we’re good, I guess.”

“I’m so glad, Nialler. You could write me a love letter though if you want to, I’ll make sure to talk about it in my next interview too so Harry and Louis can know about your undying love as well.” Liam had gotten very good at getting away before Niall’s hand was able to give him a playful clap, still laughing as he threw his bag into the back of his car before throwing the door shut again. Before the blonde could even complain or say anything at all though, Liam had already turned back around with open arms, pulling the blonde into a tight hug. “C’mere… I was just kidding, but you can still write me one anyways.”

“Shut up, Liam.” Was all Niall replied to that, his voice muffled by the older’s clothing as he pressed his face into his shoulder, hugging back as tightly as he could somehow manage while trying not to get emotional now. This was fine, only three nights, it’d be alright.

“Okay, ‘m sorry… “ Clearly, he wasn’t, but it was okay because his quiet chuckle sounded like music to Niall’s ears anyways, the older’s body lightly shaking against his before he calmed down and kept quiet for a minute or two, just holding the younger boy close to him, warm breath against Niall’s scalp whenever he breathed out. It was very quiet, peaceful almost, as there were no cars driving by or people walking past, it was just the two of them hugging each other goodbye for a bit and had it not felt so bittersweet, Niall would have surely not had to blink back a few more tears. It’s because he was still recovering from his illness obviously, nothing else. “Alright… think I should go now, before you’re out here even longer, it’s cold.”

“Okay… “ Unwillingly allowing the older man to pull away, Niall wished he could have lingered in the embrace for a bit longer, felt this safe and alright, but Liam immediately made up for it by pressing their lips together, hand cupping the younger’s cheek softly as he kissed him, slowly and not as desperate as Niall felt, immediately causing the boy to relax into it though, calm down a bit as well, just like he always did whenever Liam’s mouth was on top of his.

They only kissed for a little while and Niall couldn’t help the whine that escaped him as Liam caused them to part, a smile playing around his lips as he moved his hand to the back of Niall’s neck, kissing his forehead as well, not pulling away as he mumbled against the younger’s skin. “Make sure you walk back quickly, okay? And call me as soon as you’re at your dorm, or text me, anything. And don’t forget to take the pills, yeah? Also tomorrow. Oh… and if you do happen to sleep in before I’m home then that’s alright, I’d actually prefer that, but-“

“I won’t.” Niall promised, though Liam probably didn’t wanna hear that, but he was still smiling a bit as he finally pulled back, squeezing the younger’s hand for a moment as their eyes met and the blonde just blurted out with it, just because. “I’m missing you already…”

“Me too, Nialler. I’ll see you on Friday though, it’s gonna be fine.” Probably, because other than Niall being a baby and whining about it to Harry while feeling sorry for himself, nothing else was going to happen in the next three days. 

“Yeah… see you then.” Somehow, Niall felt like adding something else, but he didn’t know what so he just closed his mouth, pecking Liam’s lips once more before simply turning around and starting to walk into the direction they had been coming from, his skin still tingling everywhere the older man had touched him as he shoved his hands into his pockets, resisting the urge to turn around.

This was ridiculous actually, Niall was acting as if Liam was going off to war or something, but in that moment, he really didn’t care, he was just focused on keeping on walking, only turning his head when the noise of Liam’s car had drifted into distance, trying to ignore the pinching feeling in the depth of his stomach. It were only a few days and though Niall would be absolutely fine, he had a right to miss Liam regardless and this was a totally normal reaction… right? 

 

\----------------------------

 

“Payno, this isn’t normal.” Louis caused Liam to snap out of his thoughts at an instant, throwing a bit of a glare at his best friend because he had almost had a heart attack because of how loud his voice had been. “Why are you biting your nails? Stop it.”

“I wasn’t- oh.” The younger man quickly pulled his thumb away from his mouth as he noticed, clearing his throat a little as heat crawled into his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to have his nervousness show so obviously by taking over habits from Niall, he had never been biting his nails before, this was stupid. 

“I thought you wanted him to meet your mum, why are you freaking out about it now? Pretty sure she’s gonna love him, when has she not liked one of your friends? Right, never, even that douchebag you used to hang out with all the time two years ago, who leaked your number and-“

“Yeah, I know, Lou. I just… I don’t know. I… it’s not only because of my mum, just… we haven’t seen each other in a while.” It just slipped out, Liam hadn’t meant for it to sound like they hadn’t seen each other in years, but he couldn’t take it back anymore now, causing Louis to snort rather loudly next to him.

“Three fucking days, Liam, wow, you guys must have so much to talk about.” Though Louis was probably joking, it was actually very true, Niall and Liam somehow always found something to talk about all day long, it was quite remarkable actually. “You’re like… head over heels for him and I really do admire your ability to just completely and utterly ignore whatever feelings you have for him, but it’s kinda showing and if there’s one thing you have to be nervous about today, it’s that Karen is gonna read you like an open book as soon as she sees you two together.”

“That’s… that’s not even true. And the only feelings I have for Niall are on a friendship basis, my mum can see that, I don’t mind.” Well… it would have actually been pretty nice had Liam brought this out with more confidence, but only because he was struggling a bit with his own feelings ever since he had said goodbye to Niall on Tuesday didn’t mean that he immediately had to tell Louis about it. Or anyone really.

“Just because you’re scared he’s gonna react badly doesn’t mean you’ll have to forever lie to yourself, Liam.” See? And that was where the problems started, IF Liam would have really felt more for Niall, IF he would have really fallen a little bit for the younger boy, there was nothing he could have done about it, because they all knew how it would end anyways. With Niall either not taking him seriously, or, which would be even worse, rejecting him. So Liam had decided that no matter what it was that kept him awake at night sometimes, he was just gonna try and suppress it because there was no point in even thinking about it anyways.

“I’m not lying to myself, I’m just… everything’s good the way it is.” It was, wasn’t it?

“For now at least… “ Louis added quietly, pretending not to see the side glance Liam threw at him, his heart beating faster, both at the thought of seeing Niall in a bit and also what this conversation could potentially lead to. It was getting significantly harder to talk about these things because Liam was spending so much time thinking about it himself that somehow he forgot whatever he had told Louis and hadn’t told him. He really needed to get it together. “Anyways, tell Niall I said hi, yeah? And your mum as well, unless it’ll make her cry, then don’t.”

“She’s been crying all morning, she’s gotta stop at some point.” Liam’s mum had already been at his house the whole day long, even while the brunette man had gone and spent a few hours at Louis’ place because they hadn’t seen each other in a while, writing on some lyrics, and now that it was almost time for Niall’s train to arrive, Liam felt like his best friend was driving that car _way_ too slowly. “I hope she didn’t actually cook anything or started cleaning or something.”

“She’s not my mother and even I know she has.” Louis laughed while Liam just sighed, knowing that it was true anyways, he had told his mum that he was gonna do everything once he got back, that Niall would help him, but obviously, there was a reason why she had shown up so early. Not only because she hadn’t seen Liam in a while. “I hope you already warned Niall.”

“I did, multiple times, but he’s still excited.” Or he was just really good at acting, but Liam was pretty sure that it was real because the blonde had always sounded pretty positive whenever they had talked about it during the last three days, so that was good, Liam wouldn’t have wanted to force Niall into anything after all, he never would have.

It had been a few long days of Liam worrying about the blonde, probably annoying him by how many times he had asked about the boy’s state of health and then proceeded to ask what he had eaten and whether he was drinking enough, but Niall had never really complained, had always answered without hesitation. Still, Liam knew he should have maybe cut back a little, and not be THAT relieved that Niall was gonna come stay with him again so that he could have an eye on him 24/7. Obviously, that was not the only reason why Liam wanted him to come of course, but also because he had been missing the blonde terribly, after staying with him for four days, he had once again managed to get too used to having him around, just lying in Niall’s bed and talking, doing pretty much everything together. Things like that were exactly the reason for these thoughts Liam kept having lately, of how it’d be like if… if they weren’t just pretending to date, like… not much would have changed, would it?

Like, even when they were in private they were getting a lot closer, which neither of them minded obviously and it got Liam wondering whether Niall ever thought about these things Liam thought about. How nice it felt to just cuddle close whenever they went to sleep, how sweet and slow kisses were so much nicer than those heated ones, how it caused sparks covering Liam’s whole body, how he could have stayed awake all night just watching Niall sleep, stroking his face all he wanted, kissing it. And how terrible it felt whenever they had to part, just like a few days ago, how Niall had honestly stayed awake for hours just to know whether Liam had gotten home in a whole piece. Sometimes all these things seemed to go way beyond friendship, way beyond anything Liam had ever felt for anyone really, and he wondered whether he had such a hard time admitting it to himself because he knew exactly that the blonde boy wouldn’t take it well at all. 

They had made a deal, right at the beginning, that this was all gonna be on a friendship basis and never go any deeper, Liam couldn’t just ignore that, could he? But… what if Niall had changed his mind about that as well? And Liam would have never known because he was too scared to just properly sit down for a few hours and think about what it was that he really wanted?

“Probably excited about meeting the in-laws.” Louis joked, almost startling Liam a little bit because of how deep in thoughts he had been, just staring out the window for a bit. They were almost there now, on time as well, even though Liam had gotten worried for a minute because of the traffic and everything, but Louis was definitely taking more risks while driving than the younger man. Which was also why he kinda regretted having had his best friend picking him up, but whenever he went to Louis’ house with his own car, he had to park it on the street and it wasn’t exactly a secret to his fans where Louis lived. 

“Yeah, right.” Liam didn’t even get mad anymore, he just rolled his eyes at Louis before the older man stopped the car in front of the gates, leaning out of the window and waiting for Liam to tell him the code so he could type it and let them on the property. “How many times will I have to tell you before you finally remember it? It’s not that hard, Lou.”

“It’s ten numbers, no one has time to remember that. But I know you like living in a high security prison, so… “ Obviously that wasn’t true at all, and Liam wasn’t even home that much either, but it was true that he preferred this over having to live with people waiting in front of his door or something, even more since he had met Niall. “If your mum asks, tell her I really had to go somewhere, okay? I’d come in and say hi, but… “

“Yeah, I know, it’s fine. When’s Harry coming?” Right, he was supposed to visit Louis as well over the weekend, Niall had mentioned something, but Liam wasn’t quite sure whether that meant the two younger boys were on the same train or not.

“With the last train, he’s gotta finish an essay.” See, it was embarrassing because Louis talked about it like it didn’t matter, like three hours or whatever weren’t a big deal and yet here Liam was, with his heart ready to jump out of his chest because of how desperately he wanted to see Niall again after only three days. Maybe Louis was right, maybe this really wasn’t normal.

“I wonder if Niall’s gotta write the same essay…” Very likely, especially since he hadn’t mentioned it in any way and Liam suppressed a sigh, he really tried not to baby the blonde too much, but situations like this made it really hard.

“Awww, how cute, then you and your mum can help Niall with his homework over the weekend.” Louis’ mocking tone almost got Liam mad, but then he swallowed it down just as the car stopped and instead just shook his head at the smirking man, immediately returning the quick hug Louis pulled him into over their seats. “Well, have fun then, use protection and-“

“Thanks, Tommo, I really gotta go now. Bye, thanks for driving me.” When Liam threw the car door shut behind himself, he could still hear his best friend’s laughter before he drove off, leaving the younger man wondering while walking up to the front door whether he _should_ have been using protection whenever he slept with Niall. But what for anyways? They’d been doing it without for over a month now and though it had seemed kind of impossible, the sex was definitely not lacking because of that, quite the opposite.

It was still a while before Niall would come, but not long enough that Liam would have to be checking his phone every time from missing the blonde too much, and yet he did, needing like ten tries to get his keys into the lock because he was busy reading and chuckling over Niall’s text message, proceeding to half fall through the doorframe then. Alright, that was definitely a clue to stop.

“Hey, mum, I’m back.” Saying these words when coming home somehow had gotten very strange to Liam, but he barely noticed today, busy writing out a reply to the younger boy before pocketing his phone and slipping his shoes off, the smell of food both making him hungry and a little bit annoyed with himself. Obviously, he hadn’t invited his mother over to cook for him or Niall, but now that she had, there was nothing much Liam could have done. “I told you me and Niall could have-“

“Oh, no, it’s fine, I had too much time anyways. Is Louis not coming in?” She seemed a bit disappointed as she came around the corner, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel and Liam didn’t even flinch when she kissed his cheek, feeling a bit nervous though about thinking about her doing this in front of Niall. Well, she probably would anyways.

“No, he had somewhere to go, but he says hi.” God, if Louis had actually decided to stay as well, Liam would have probably died with nervousness, he knew it wasn’t actually a big deal at all, knew that Niall was possibly not nervous in any way and yet… and yet it felt like a pretty big deal to Liam for some reason. “Are you sure you don’t need me to do anything, I could-“

“No, no, it’s fine, honey. When is Niall going to be here?” Liam’s mum seemed close to bursting because she had been wanting to meet Niall so badly and for so long, if she hadn’t always been like that, Liam would have maybe tried to prevent it from happening, like yeah, he had kinda wanted Niall to meet his parents, but he also didn’t want it to come off like he was introducing his real boyfriend or something. Because Niall wasn’t his boyfriend after all and his family knew that. 

“In an hour or so, unless something happens with the train, or if the traffic’s going crazy again.” Hopefully not, because Liam couldn’t let his mum see how fucking eager he was to finally have Niall back in his arms, he had no idea how they would manage to play this cool and not constantly touch and snog because that was literally all Liam wanted to do right now. Maybe he should have asked his mum to only come over on Sunday, but…. he hadn’t really planned this out well enough. “Mum, when he gets here, can you, like… I don’t know… not bring up anything embarrassing or whatever, like… and don’t… don’t be all over him, please, he probably wouldn’t mind, but… “

“I won’t embarrass you, Li, don’t worry. But I am allowed to talk to him though, right?” She was just making fun of him now and Liam rolled his eyes when his mum laughed, easily escaping her hand as she had been about to poke him in the side or something, deciding that there was nothing he could have done anyways, whatever would happen was gonna happen.

Of course Liam had talked about it with Niall last night, had told him what they could and couldn’t do, that his mum tended to immediately treat everyone like they were a part of the family and things like that, but the blonde had taken it all very easy, as if he wasn’t worried or nervous in any way at all. And maybe he really wasn’t, seeing as he didn’t have to try and make an impression or anything, it’s not like it really mattered what Liam’s mum thought about it, not to Niall at least, because somehow it mattered _a lot_ to Liam. “I’m gonna… go and take a quick shower, okay? Thank you for… you know, you really didn’t have to, I was gonna-“

“I know you were, love, but it’s alright. I just hope Niall’s going to like it.” For a moment, she sounded genuinely troubled, so Liam threw her a small smile over his shoulder as he was on his way to the bathroom because _that_ was certainly the last thing anyone had to be worried about.

“Trust me, mum, that boy eats anything.” Literally.

 

\------------

 

Niall wasn’t quite sure what he was feeling as climbed out of the car, petting Liam’s driver on the shoulder because he was pretty sure he knew that man better than he did most people on campus by now. There was a weird feeling in his stomach that the blonde didn’t really have a place for, all he knew was that the whole time on the train, he hadn’t been thinking about anything else besides how fucking good it would feel to finally be with Liam again. But now, seeing the older man’s house and knowing he was seconds from meeting the brunette’s _mother_ , maybe Niall was slightly nervous after all.

But he was good with parents, wasn’t he? And usually he also wasn’t worried about meeting new people or anything, it’s just… this here seemed a little different, like… he was never worried about whether people liked him or not, so was it crazy that he really, really wanted Liam’s mum to like him then? Liam had promised that it’d be fine, that she always liked all of his friends, but… he wasn’t sleeping with and pretending to date any of his other friends after all.

For a moment, Niall was almost so worried that he forgot to properly watch his step or be aware of where he was, all of it immediately coming back all at once though as he looked up once he had thrown the car door shut behind himself, backpack loosely hanging over his shoulder and almost immediately, his eyes locked with very familiar brown ones, heart hammering in his chest as he felt a smile spreading across his lips. God, had he missed Liam. 

His mum was nowhere in sight and even if she had been, Niall probably wouldn’t have taken any notice of her because all he was able to look at was Liam and Liam only. He looked so good that Niall almost felt his knees getting weak, as stupid as that sounded, but it was true and he was so glad that Liam was walking down those stairs with a huge grin on his face because the blonde wasn’t really sure if he could have managed to move his feet right now. What would they have ever done if they’d be unable to see each other on the weekend for once? 

“Hi, babe… “ Liam’s arms wrapping around the blonde almost caused him to lose ground underneath his feet for a second, immediately hugging back though, as tightly as somehow possible, eyes closed as he pressed his face into the older’s shoulder, breathing in the smell of cologne stuck on his shirt, practically melting against the older’s body. Pretty sure there was no place on earth that had ever made Niall feel like this.

“Hey… “ Niall mumbled somewhere into Liam’s shirt, still smiling though as he just held on for dear life, feeling Liam’s lips placing a kiss against his ear, rocking them a bit as they just hugged for a while, neither of them making any attempts to pull apart. The fact that Niall’s chest had immediately loosened, that all his worries had vanished into thin air, only had one very simple reason and that was that he knew, 100%, that no matter what was going to happen, Liam would always be right there. And knowing that felt pretty damn fucking good.

“You alright, love?” He always made sure to ask and maybe Niall should have gotten used to it by now, but feeling the older’s breath against his skin while he talked caused his heart to hammer extra hard in his chest.

“Yeah, I’m good. Perfect, actually. What about you?” Now that they were hugging, Niall’s nervousness from before seemed pretty ridiculous to be honest, he would always have Liam, it didn’t matter what anybody else thought. Also, he couldn’t screw up so badly that Liam’s mother would absolutely despise him, could he?

“I’m really good too, now that you’re here.” Liam let out a soft chuckle, giving Niall another really tight squeeze before starting to pull away and though the blonde would have loved to remain a bit longer in the brunette’s embrace, he also wanted to see his face really badly. Not that they hadn’t seen each other on skype or facetime every single day. “My mum’s been making way too much food, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“Always, you know that.” Was it legal for Liam to look so bloody attractive all the time? It’s like, whenever Niall didn’t see him for a few days and then came back on the weekends, the older man’s eyes seemed to have gotten more magnificent and somehow his hair was more beautiful and his clothes seemed to have magically started to fit him even better than they already had all along. “But she didn’t have to, like, I would have helped you and-“

“I know, Nialler, it’s what I told her as well, but that’s just who she is. She won’t hold it against you, promise.” He kissed the younger’s lips softly, smirking when Niall went with him once he leaned back, craving a longer kiss but knowing that they couldn’t have one right now when they were trying to _not_ have anyone getting the wrong ideas. “We still got the whole night Ni.”

“With your mother in the next room… “ They had both lowered their voices now, though they were alone now that Liam’s driver had left, but you never knew after all, Niall wasn’t very keen on having the first conversation Liam’s mother heard him have with her son be about sex. 

“The walls are thick and I gave her the one that’s practically on the other side of the house. Think you can manage to keep quiet enough for that?” Liam teased the younger boy, smiling over the way Niall rolled his eyes before kissing his temple, his arm finding its way back around the younger’s shoulders, squeezing him gently and Niall just let him, even though he was pretending to pout. “You think you’re ready to go in?”

“Yeah, sure.” There was no need to overthink or anything, Niall would be just fine, especially with Liam by his side, and he really didn’t wanna have the older man worrying about him or something, because god knows Liam was probably already worrying anyways. 

“Alright, let’s do this then… “ The older man released a breath that Niall had probably not been supposed to hear so he decided to ignore it after checking Liam’s face shortly, getting a tighter hold of his backpack as they walked up the stairs, Niall’s free arm somehow automatically finding its way around Liam’s waist. 

When they first went inside, Liam’s mum was still nowhere to be seen, but the whole house seemed to smell like food and Niall’s stomach was already grumbling just thinking about eating, which was good because he really didn’t wanna leave a bad impression or anything. But if it was just about finishing his plate, Niall could probably handle easily. 

“How was the train ride?” Liam had grabbed a hold of Niall’s backpack, waiting for the younger boy to take his shoes off before his hand came back resting against the blonde’s lower back as if it was supposed to be there.

“It was good. Pretty boring though, I was thinking about writing this essay I gotta do, but… “ Niall just shrugged, he hadn’t really planned on telling Liam about this and for a moment it seemed like the older man was gonna say something, but he never really got the chance to because his mother was a lot quicker.

“Liam, are you gonna introduce us?” Of course Niall had already known what Liam’s mum looked like, but somehow he felt very relieved that she seemed even nicer than he had hoped for, returning the smile she was throwing at him as soon as she had walked around the corner, hyperaware though of Liam’s fingers curling into the back of his shirt, as if _he_ needed the support. 

“Oh, sure…. Mum, this is Niall. Niall, that’s, uh… my mum.” For some reason, Liam’s voice didn’t sound so smooth, so Niall decided to try and calm him down by being as open and relaxed as he could be, so the older man wouldn’t have anything to worry about. Kinda funny though, how they had gotten into a situation like this, where they were scared about getting introduced to each other’s parents and stuff… well, not really _each other’s_ , because never in a billion years was Niall going to allow Liam meeting _his_ parents. Not that they would have wanted to anyways.

“Hello, really nice to meet you Mrs. Payne, I-“

“Oh, please, you can call me Karen, of course, dear. Liam told me so much about you.” Liam stayed back while Niall shook his mother’s hand, his smile feeling more natural now because she seemed to be _really_ happy to meet him, almost as if she was ready to pull him into a hug or something. Well, honestly, Niall wouldn’t have even minded that, maybe it’d be like with Harry’s mum, the blonde would have kinda liked that. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“I’m really hungry actually, I haven’t eaten all day.” Okay, maybe Niall shouldn’t have said that, even if it was true, but before Niall or Liam’s mum could say anything else, the older man had already stepped in, seemingly having forgotten about the fact that they were trying to come off as just really good friends. Which they were, obviously, nothing else.

“What, why not? You told me you were about to get breakfast this morning.” Right, about that…

“I was, but then I kinda… forgot I had a class and then I decided to, um… take my education seriously and go there instead.” It was kind of a joke, obviously, because of what Liam always said, but there was no need to mention that Niall had kinda figured out that maybe he shouldn’t have really spent that money. But saying _that_ in front of Liam would have been like asking him to buy Niall a car or something. “Sorry, I just forgot, I really was going to.”

“Well, as long as you’re eating now… “ Liam mumbled, rubbing Niall’s back for a moment, obviously not noticing the look his mother threw at him, but the blonde certainly did. “I just mean, because you just were sick and everything.”

“Yeah, but I’m all good again now, it’s fine, Li.” Really good actually, Niall was pretty sure that that came from the fact that he had stayed inside way longer than he would have had. Then again, maybe it also came from the fact that Liam had taken such good care of him, more than anyone else ever had. 

For a second, there was some really awkward silence coming over them, which obviously caused Liam to realize what he had just done in front of his mother, babying the blonde a little bit too much maybe, his face actually getting slightly red right before his mum saved him and suggested they move to the living room, the smile on her face kinda giving her away though. Would it have really been that big of a deal though, if she had found out that maybe Niall and Liam were slightly closer than her son had told her? Apparently.

Once they had sat down, Liam’s mother had insisted on doing everything on her own, like getting everyone their food and stuff, giving Liam a chance to get over what had just happened and Niall to squeeze his hand for a moment when they had been alone. It didn’t seem weird though, or unnatural in any way as they were all sat down eating, it actually was quite comfortable. “So, Niall, how are you handling all of this? I hope it’s not getting too nerve wrecking or anything.”

“No, it’s fine, actually, I’m quite enjoying it. I think it’s really fun when Liam takes me to all these things, and his fans are really nice as well.” Niall had never met anyone who hadn’t been nice to him actually, at least when they were Liam’s fans, so he wasn’t making any of this up, he really did enjoy most of the parts that came with Liam’s career, it was only the fact that they could only see each other on weekends that bothered Niall. Obviously, he wasn’t gonna say that in front of anyone, much less his mother.

“Oh, they are, aren’t they? They always ask me for pictures as well.” She seemed to be very delighted by that and Niall couldn’t help but chuckle while Liam rolled his eyes at her, the blonde using the quick break he got to shovel even more food into his mouth, not sure whether telling Karen three times in a row that it was _amazing_ would have been too much. “Do they stop you a lot when you’re at college?”

“Sometimes they do, but it’s not a lot of them anyways, so I’m good with it. And they don’t wanna annoy me because they think I’m going to tell Liam.” As if Liam would have cared, but that really did seem to be the only reason why some people weren’t running after Niall all day long and gave him his space instead. 

“I can imagine that. I still can’t believe Liam actually went to stay with you at your dorm and no one saw him, usually when we go anywhere together at least somebody recognizes him.” Nodding to that, Niall decided it was Liam’s turn to say something while he got more food into his belly, secretly thinking that he could have really gotten used to this.

“It was late at night though, and I had my hood up and everything. And Niall’s best friend brought me to his dorm.” Liam explained as if he had already told her before and Niall didn’t doubt that, his mum seemed like she would be all over her son asking a hundred questions at a time, not really listening to any answers because she was too excited to see him. _That_ part Niall could very well relate to.

“Oh, is that the boy Louis is seeing? Harry is his name, right? How long have you two been friends?” By now, Niall was almost finished with his whole plate, forcing himself to slow down because by the way Liam was looking at him, the older man was probably seconds from swapping their plates.

“We met in high school, I… I’m actually from Ireland and we moved to England because my dad got a new job and yeah… we’ve been best friends since then.” How could she be so interested in any of this? Like, who cared about Niall’s life, it was surely a million times more boring than any of Liam’s other friends’.

“Oh, really? What do your parents do?” Immediately after she had asked, Liam let out a cough Niall pretended not to notice, he had no idea whether the brunette man had told his mother not to ask about Niall’s family, but fact was that she just had and that the blonde wasn’t as fragile and scared to talk about his parents as Liam maybe thought. He wasn’t gonna, like, start crying or something, it was whatever.

“My dad works at Tesco and my mum, she… well, she’s at home, with her other kids. Or was, actually… the last time her spoke with her at least.” So like… _ages_ ago, but no one needed to know that and Niall just shrugged to himself, still deciding to clarify it though because maybe it had come out a bit weird. “They’re divorced, so me and my brother don’t really see her anymore.”

“I’m sorry, love, I shouldn’t have asked then, I had no idea.” The fact that she really did sound sorry and momentarily put her hand over the blonde’s made up for everything, though Liam seemed a bit tense next to Niall, the blonde just smiled at Karen, about to tell her that it was alright when she kinda asked the wrong thing yet again. But it was Niall’s fault anyways, for bringing it up. “Are you and your brother close?”

At this, Liam yet again made some noise next to Niall, probably really worried that this was getting too much for the blonde or something, but actually, the older’s reaction almost made Niall laugh. His heart did swell a bit at the thought though, of Liam caring this extremely much that he felt so bad for Niall for having to answer these simple questions, or the way he got whenever Niall’s family got mentioned in the slightest way. Sometimes it was like Liam was a whole ton more upset about the whole situation than Niall. “No, not really, actually. But I got Harry, he’s been like my brother ever since we met anyways, so I don’t really mind.”

“Oh, that’s nice, that you’re so close. And I’m sure that he must be a lovely boy then as well, so good for Louis too that he has found someone.” The thing was, she really sounded excited for all of them, even though she had literally only met Niall 40 minutes ago and had never seen Harry in her entire life and Louis… well, if it was true what Liam had told Niall (which was very likely), then she probably really did treat Louis like her second son sometimes, so it made sense. “And of course I’m happy too that you and Liam have become such good friends. Although, he never really told me how you two met.”

“I did tell you mum, I… “ Liam interrupted himself, his cheeks visibly getting red and Niall bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t start laughing, softly bumping his knee against the older one’s underneath the table. “Me and Louis and everyone else… we were at this bar and Louis gave Harry, who he didn’t know obviously, two VIP passes and then… we just kinda, uh… bumped into each other.”

“And hit it right off.” Niall wasn’t able to keep his mouth shut, a giggle escaping him when Liam threw him a look for that so the blonde decided to help him out, just because he seemed to be so desperate. “I was actually… a bit tipsy and I kinda bumped into Liam and got my drink over him, so then I met Louis in the bathroom and he found it really funny that I didn’t know who Liam was and…”

“He decided to have some fun with it, you know him.” Fun that had gotten a little bit out of control, but obviously Liam didn’t care to elaborate it any further, he just let his arm drop around the back of Niall’s chair, innocently, as if he hadn’t even noticed doing it. “But… I’m glad he did. This time at least.”

“Yeah, me too.” It seemed appropriate for Niall to say it, though it was very true of course and he felt his stomach twisting a bit at the smile he shared with Liam, the way the brunette’s finger’s briefly brushed over the back of his neck, as if it had been an accident. 

“I’m glad that Louis forces you to meet new people, Liam, sometimes I’m worried you’d never speak to anybody if he didn’t.” Though she laughed at the face her son pulled, and Niall along with her, the blonde knew that there was truth behind her words, knew exactly what she meant, the way Liam had been so closed up when they had met, so freaked out about everything. Niall really liked to think that the brunette man had never regretted any of this ever since he had asked Niall to come visit him on tour, it had never seemed like it, but it were just thoughts that crossed the blonde’s mind once a while. “I was just joking, honey, you know that. But still, I gotta thank Louis at some point and I’m happy I got to finally meet you, Niall, since you’re… somehow part of the family, to the public at least. Not that I would mind if you two were really dating, I’d actually be very happy and I’m sure that-“

“Yeah, yeah, I know, mum. But we’re not, like… _together_ , I told you. It’s just because of what happened new year’s and…. and everyone always being all over me because I’m always single and we… we thought it’d be… fun.” Yeah, A LOT of fun, especially whenever they were alone at night in Liam’s bed. But not only that of course, like, obviously, they didn’t always have sex, like the whole extended last weekend, it was more about… just being together and doing all these things together and Niall just really enjoyed that he felt so comfortable with Liam, no matter what they were doing. 

“I know, Li, don’t worry, I was just saying, nothing else.” The expression on her face clearly told Niall something else, it was obvious that she was thinking the exact same thing as Louis and Harry and no matter how hard Niall and Liam would try not to touch or be too close, it wasn’t gonna change her mind, so no idea why Liam was so set on the idea. Niall somehow didn’t care anymore, like, he _knew_ that they weren’t really dating, they had talked about it at the very beginning, that they were just friends, and they both stuck to that… right? “So, who wants some dessert?”

And that was pretty much it, his whole nervousness from before seemed pretty ridiculous to Niall for the whole rest of the day and though Liam’s face seemed slightly worried as his mother had disappeared in the kitchen, the blonde still felt pretty pleased with how the whole situation had turned out. 

 

\------------------

 

Later at night, when Liam’s mum had long gone to bed after they had talked for hours and even watched some movie with her, making it pretty hard for Niall to keep the distance to Liam he knew the brunette wanted them to keep, it seemed impossible that they wouldn’t immediately fall all over each other as soon as Liam’s door had closed behind them. And so naturally, they didn’t even try to hold back.

“I… I missed you so much… “ The words just seemed to fall out of Liam’s mouth in between kisses, breath hitting the blonde’s lips as he was lying underneath the older man, arms desperately wrapped around Liam’s neck as the brunette was thrusting into him in a steady rhythm, Niall’s fingernails undoubtedly leaving marks on his skin.

“I m-missed you too… s-shit… harder, Liam… _harder_ … “ Really, Niall was doing his very best to stay as quiet as possible, but he couldn’t help the moans that were escaping whenever Liam’s hot, throbbing erection was piercing right into his prostate, the older’s fingers sloppily jerking Niall off between their bodies, both their bellies already smeary with precum and sweat. “Liam… “

They had gotten straight at it, barely taken a minute to talk about their day before Niall had already attached his lips to Liam’s, the older man’s mouth immediately allowing him to slip his tongue inside right before they had basically ripped each other’s clothes off of one another before falling into bed. It had taken less than a few minutes of Liam’s wet mouth around Niall’s cock before the blonde had been close to bursting, practically _begging_ Liam to get the fuck inside of him. They hadn’t had sex in like… two weeks, so who could have blamed them really?

“Li… Liam… ‘m gonna come… “ Niall could barely even get the words out, Liam’s mouth having slipped off of him, instead working his neck now where he had already left a mark before and obviously neither of them had been thinking about how they were gonna explain this to Liam’s mum tomorrow. 

“Yeah… c’mon, babe, come for me… “ Actually, they were probably being louder than they normally were, the bed was lightly bumping against the wall but Niall was barely even aware of it after one particular hard roll of Liam’s hips, his thumb rubbing over the aching red tip of Niall’s cock and that was enough to finally set him over the edge.

“ _Liam!_ ” There was nothing on Niall’s mind except for the pleasure overtaking him as he pressed his eyes closed, almost forgetting how to breathe as he came all over Liam’s hand, back arching as far as that was possible with Liam’s heavy weight pressing him into the mattress, automatically clenching around the older man as he saw stars while riding out his high.

“Fuck, Niall… so fuckin’ gorgeous… “ Looking back at it, Niall wasn’t sure if that really was what Liam had said, or moaned more liked, as he fucked the blonde through his orgasm before following only moments later, his hot cum filling Niall up because they had stopped using condoms a while ago already. What was the point of it anyways, if neither of them ever slept with anybody else? And Niall freaking loved it, though he hated the feeling of it dripping out of him afterwards, he loved feeling all of Liam, with nothing in between, having him as close as humanly possible.

Niall’s ears were rushing as he slowly came down from it, feeling sensitive now when Liam was still spilling inside of him, but blinking his eyes open and watching the remains of his high in the older’s face was way worth it. His hair was sticking to his forehead, lips swollen from kissing and from biting on them, eyes closed in bliss and Niall was pretty damn fucking sure that he had never seen anything more beautiful than Liam orgasming, as sappy as that may have sounded, but it was true anyways.

When the brunette man half collapsed on top of Niall, the blonde’s arms had already gotten weak but he still forced himself to cup Liam’s face, staring into his eyes for a moment before lifting his head just slightly in order to press their lips back together, softly but still with force, goosebumps rising all over his body when Liam’s hand started stroking up and down his bare side while they snogged lazily, just cherishing the moment.

Due to their lack of breath, Liam was forced to pull back sooner than Niall would have liked, still kissing him a few more times, briefly, before just looking down at the blonde, both of them trying to get some air into their lunges and yet somehow, they both ended up smiling at each other for a second before Liam opened his mouth, seemingly determined for a moment before simply breaking off. “I…I think I…. “

Maybe Niall should have asked, should have urged him to carry on, but he was sleepy and worn out, feeling needy of some cuddles from Liam, and then suddenly the moment had passed and Liam shook his head, as if he was confused and Niall allowed the older man to kiss him once more, already having forgotten about it the very next minute, just feeling happy that he got to hold the older man close and fall asleep in his arms. Because sometimes… sometimes it felt like that was all Niall needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys hope youre enjoying an early update! ill only be able to continue writing the next chapter on monday so i dont know if ill be able to update in time but i do hope so! and if i dont therell only be 1-2 days delay and then ill be back to normal, promise! hope everyone liked the chapter! :)


	20. Chapter 20

When Liam woke up, it took him a while before his eyes had somewhat gotten used to the darkness, the blinds not completely shut because that had pretty much been the last thing they had worried about last night. They were still in the same position they had fallen asleep in, both naked and all tangled up into each other, Niall’s face just centimeters away from Liam’s, his breath all even, hair soft and flat. 

For a moment, Liam wasn’t thinking about anything except for the fact that the feeling he got whenever he woke up like this was more overwhelming than he could have ever imagined. He was so relieved that yesterday had gone by so well, that his mum seemed to really like Niall and that the blonde had been so relaxed and comfortable, how could this have gone any better really?

It took a while before he really noticed that he had raised his hand mindlessly, leaning onto one of his elbows as he watched the younger boy sleep, his fingers softly tracing Niall’s features, brushing the blonde hair out of his face, a smile forming on his lips that he didn’t have any control over. Watching Niall like this was something Liam had felt really weird for at first, had been surprised by how much he could enjoy just staring at someone while they slept, and maybe it wasn’t even that great, but it was just the fact that it was Niall that caused warmth to spread in his stomach.

The older man had no idea how much time passed by, or how late it even was, all he knew was that he could have done this forever, playing with the blonde’s hair, thumb softly rubbing over the boy’s warm lips, feeling the little puffs of breath against his skin, the way he seemed to curl closer into Liam even in his sleep, wanting to be close to him. Honestly, had Liam not suddenly had a really weird flashback from last night, he would have probably kept on caressing Niall’s face while smiling dumbly at him for an hour or something. But sadly, the memory hit him quite hard, almost instantly causing his hand to freeze to a stop.

Oh.

Last night, after they had almost jumped onto one another as soon as they had finally been alone in Liam’s bedroom, the brunette had kinda gotten a bit overwhelmed with everything. It would have been easy now to blame it on the fact that he had just been so happy that everything had turned out so well or that Niall was finally here again, even if it had only been a few days, that they hadn’t had sex in a while. Sadly though, Liam _knew_ that that hadn’t been the reason for what he had almost foolishly blurted out with in the heat of the moment.

He was pretty sure that Niall hadn’t noticed, the blonde had seemed a bit too far gone and exhausted as well, having slept in only moments later, luckily, because Liam would have fucking ruined everything right at that second, he could have, if he hadn’t stopped himself the second he had noticed what he had been about to say. And without a reason as well, he hadn’t even planned it, hadn’t ever even _considered_ saying anything like that to Niall. What the fuck had driven him to that anyways? He hadn’t thought it through, hadn’t sat down to get a grip of what it really was that he felt for the boy or anything, he had just… almost gone ahead and ruined everything.

Liam had been seconds away from telling Niall that he… that he maybe… was a bit… _in love_ with him. Well, Liam probably wouldn’t have said it like that, but… holy shit, how could this have happened anyways?! Just the thought of Niall’s reaction gave the brunette man goosebumps, he was still staring at the younger’s relaxed face, watched him sleeping, trying to suppress whatever that feeling was that was rising in his chest, tried to resist the urge to lean down and press his lips onto every inch of the blonde’s skin he could reach.

This really needed to stop, this couldn’t ever happen again, not out of the blue like this anyways, like… yeah, maybe it was slightly weird, that Liam had almost blurted out with something like this while he hadn’t even been thinking, but that didn’t immediately make it true now, did it? And just because there was a chance didn’t mean Liam had to tell Niall about it, he could suppress it, had done it before, nothing had to change at all, the brunette man could just lock it away somewhere in the back of his mind, pretend it didn’t exist. Pretend he didn’t feel butterflies in his stomach whenever Niall smiled at him or cuddled up close to him, pretend there weren’t fireworks going off whenever they kissed, whenever they had sex, whenever they touched. Pretend like he hadn’t ever felt this incredible and comfortable with anybody else.

Liam was _fucked_.

Before the older man could sulk a bit more in self-pity, there was a slight knock on his closed bedroom door that had him sitting up straight within a heartbeat, panic rising in his chest, almost immediately forgetting about the struggle of his feelings when he heard his mother’s voice, only two things on his mind. One, he was fucking naked, and two, Niall was as well. 

“Liam? Are you awake, love?” Thank god she had gotten rid of the habit of just walking in like she had done when Liam had been a teenager, but his heart was still beating way too fast as he tried to wiggle out of bed without waking Niall, trying to be as quietly as possibly while searching for some pants. Shit, he should have really planned all of this a little better.

“Uh, yeah… yeah, I’m… ‘m awake, one second.” Liam answered before she would get crazy ideas and come in here, seeing the messed up bed and Niall’s naked upper body inside. Then again… she already thought they were dating, could it have really gotten any worse?

The brunette man waited for a bit, making sure he heard his mum’s footsteps becoming more quiet before leaning over Niall’s frame once more, trying not to think about what had happened last night anymore, or his unresolved conflict with himself, softly pressing his lips to Niall’s warm temple instead, pulling the blanket up a bit higher so he wouldn’t get cold before forcing himself to leave the room, even if it gave him a sting to his heart. They could still have their morning cuddles tomorrow though, right? They had been cuddling for four days straight last weekend, Liam would probably survive it.

There was no doubt inside of the brunette man that his mother would be able to read it right in his face that something was bugging him, but he would have rather lied to her saying he hadn’t slept well than telling her the truth. Even though maybe talking about it would have been nice, like, _really_ telling somebody how he felt like, how confused he was, but that would have required for Liam to fully accept it and just the thought of it was making it way too real for his liking, so actually saying it out loud would have probably killed him.

Liam hadn’t bothered putting on a shirt, one because it was just his mum, and two, he wouldn’t have been able to find one that quickly, pretty sure that his sleep shirt had actually ripped a bit last night because of how eager they had been, but no one needed to know that. His heart was still bumping too fast as he quietly walked out of his room, closing the door behind him once more before taking a quick breath, hoping that he would be able to pull this off without giving himself away.

Actually, Liam didn’t even have an idea why his mum had knocked on his door in the first place, but while walking over to the living room and checking his phone, the brunette man quickly realized that it was almost 1 pm, meaning his mother had probably been up for hours already. Well, this was only slightly embarrassing, since she didn’t actually know that the reason why Liam slept that long on weekends was because he needed to catch up on the sleep he didn’t get whenever he had to spend his nights without Niall. _No one_ needed to know that.

“Good morning, honey.” It smelled like breakfast and Liam felt guilty yet again, but at least he managed to put up a smile, thinking that maybe this wouldn’t be as extremely hard as he thought it would be. Or maybe it would. “Is Niall still asleep?”

“Uh… yeah, I think so.” Liam answered slowly, carefully, trying not to look like it was a big deal as he sat on one of the barstools in the kitchen corner, across from his mum, who had an empty plate in front of her, probably having finished it ages ago. “Sorry, I didn’t think of putting an alarm.”

“Oh, it’s alright, Li, it’s the weekend after all. I just thought I’d wake you before I leave.” Oh, she was gonna leave already?

“You can stay though, I’m sure Niall would want you to as well.” Sure, the thought of getting time alone with the blonde was very tempting but Liam felt kinda forced to try to get her to stay anyways, also because they hadn’t seen each other a lot lately. “You can always leave later, or stay another night.”

“I really don’t want to take away your weekend with Niall though, you both seemed so excited about being together and anyways, I don’t really like taking the train at night, it’s fine, Liam, really.” The smile on her face seemed to be pretty real so Liam quickly gave up, trying to ignore the heat crawling into his face and instead getting up to get himself something to drink. At least if she left, she wouldn’t be able to overanalyze his and Niall’s friendship anymore, right? “Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Sure, what?” Not really thinking it’d be anything bad because of the calmness in her voice, Liam didn’t even turn around as he got himself some coffee in hopes it’d calm him down.

Well, maybe he should have rather stayed away from hot beverages that time. “He’s sleeping in your room, isn’t he?”

Almost immediately, Liam had almost dropped his cup, feeling his whole body freeze as his heart stopped beating for a moment before continuing in an unsteady rhythm, his hands getting sweaty as he didn’t even dare to turn around and look at his mother. It hadn’t even sounded like a question, more like pure observation and really, maybe Liam shouldn’t have been so shocked about her simply figuring it out like that, they hadn’t been very subtle about it either. “I… I mean… “

“It’s fine if he is, Liam, I was just asking, I mean… you two seem to be a lot closer than I would have thought.” Oh god, what if she had heard them?! “I didn’t really wanna say anything when Niall was there, but I thought you two were adorable together yesterday.”

“Mum, I… “ Liam was speechless, really, he knew what his mother had been thinking about all of this, but being confronted with it like that, he had no idea what to say, didn’t even have any excuses he could have used in order to change her mind because just last night he had almost fucking told the blonde that he possibly _loved_ him. 

“It’s fine, Liam, you know I don’t care who you like and Niall is a lovely boy, I’d be more than happy for the both of you, you know that.” Of course Liam knew that, but that didn’t really make it easier now, did it? He was more than grateful for being able to always count on his family, but it didn’t exactly help when the boy he was pretending to fake date would have probably ran as far as he could if Liam ever tried to talk to him about all of this. Wasn’t it funny though, that everyone thought they were dating, and yet they weren’t and Liam’s mum was here thinking that Liam was _pretending_ to pretend to date Niall? 

“I… I know, mum, but… we really aren’t dating, we just… “ Have sex and do pretty much everything a couple would do and just thinking about it like that was driving Liam the fuck insane, but he was trying really hard here to keep his facial expressions under control as he slowly carried his cup back to his seat, never really looking up though. Did it really matter anymore now, to keep on pretending? When his mum was right there reading him like an open book, just like Louis had predicted? “Niall…. Niall doesn’t, um… like relationships and anyways, we… we’re just friends… “

There was some heavy silence hanging between them once Liam had sat down, his arms just uselessly resting on the table while he stared into his coffee without ever taking a sip, his stomach feeling close to rebelling as he internally cursed himself for being so fucking stupid. He should have changed the topic, should have done anything to get out of it, he had managed to whenever Louis had started on it but this was his _mother_ and anyways… Liam was so fucked. 

“I… I know we, um… seem pretty close, and we are, it’s just that… it’s just fun, I mean… Niall’s not really someone to be committed to someone, he just… I mean, we’re just friends anyways so it’s fine and I-“

“If you like him, you should tell him.” There it was, of course Liam’s half choked out attempts to save himself hadn’t really helped but had rather made everything worse, his cheeks turning hot and red at an instant and though his mum’s voice had been soft and understanding, he still wanted to die from embarrassment. This was definitely not how this weekend should have turned out like, but he had kinda already ruined it for himself the second he had almost blurted out with the L word last night. “I know you’re an adult, Liam, I’m just saying, since this is clearly bothering you and also because of how this situation has turned out, I think you should definitely talk to him about it. He seems like such a nice boy and it’s obvious that he likes you a lot.”

“I can’t talk to him, I… I _know_ it’s not what he wants and… and he doesn’t like me like _that_ and anyways, I… I don’t even know if… if I do, I just… “ Yeah, Liam didn’t even know what he was trying to say, he hadn’t even figured this out himself yet and the more they talked about it, the less did he actually want to. Again, there was NO point in being in love with someone who was never going to return it, was there? So why would Liam get himself all worked up over something when he could just be happy with what he had?

“But you don’t know that, Li, if you never talk to him about it. I gotta admit I was a bit confused when you explained this whole situation to me because it really didn’t seem like something you would do, but now… I don’t know why Niall would agree to any of this if he didn’t wanna be with you as well.” A valid point, but that still wasn’t really helping Liam either, he had already been thinking about all of this as well and he always came to the same conclusions, the ones that had him suppress his feelings yet again.

“It’s complicated… “ More than that, his mum didn’t have any background knowledge after all, she didn’t know about Niall’s childhood, didn’t know the boy used to sleep around, didn’t know he had straight out asked Liam to be his fuck buddy, didn’t know how much he hated the idea of being depended or attached to someone, didn’t know about the deal they had made at the beginning. In fact, it was so fucking complicated that Liam’s head was hurting already. “It’s fine though, I… maybe I don’t even… don’t even like him like that after all, I… I never really thought about it and… I don’t know how all of this happened. I mean… I do know, but… “

“It’s fine, love, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” She was pitying him, Liam could tell, knew his mother probably thought that he had been pining after Niall for months or something, which was even worse than her thinking that Liam had been lying to her about them being together. Although maybe, it was just more pathetic. “Did you, you know… sleep with him?”

Even Liam’s ears got hot at that question, which was stupid really, he was 25 years old and couldn’t even tell his mother that he was having sex with someone? “I… yeah. I mean it’s like… you know Louis always makes fun of it and says we’re actually acting like a couple and I… I always tried to deny it, but… but somehow we are. But Niall… I don’t think he’d ever admit that to himself and if I say something then… I’m gonna lose him, it’d ruin everything, I can’t risk that and anyways, it’s fine the way it is, right? I’ll be alright.”

“Well… it doesn’t really sound like you are though, love.” Of course it didn’t, Liam hated himself for making it come out like this, but he just didn’t know what to say, a little while ago he hadn’t even had any of these problems and now he was here talking to his mother about them? “Why do you think you would lose him? He didn’t even seem to mind when you freaked out about him not eating and babying him. And I saw you boys holding hands while I was in the kitchen.”

Was Liam surprised? Nope, not one bit. He just let out a sigh, nothing else, kinda giving up on it because it was clear that there was no way he would ever be able to change her mind about this now, but at least unlike Louis, she wasn’t gonna make fun of him for it. “It’s… a really long story.”

“Well, I still have time before it gets dark, right?” There was a smile on her face as their eyes met for a moment and for a second Liam was hesitant, not sure if he should really let all his guard down and give up just yet, but eventually he did anyways, letting out another quiet sigh before yet again watching the cup in front of him. 

Liam hadn’t really planned on discussing any of this in detail today, or ever, but as he just blurted the whole thing out to his mother, stopping to be embarrassed about the details after a while, he kinda felt the knot in his chest loosening a bit and even though afterwards he still didn’t have any idea what to do now, at least he had gotten a second opinion on it. 

And also… even though that wasn’t really something Liam was happy about, once his mother had left, the brunette man was 99.9% sure that he was in fact in love with Niall but that he would literally never manage to grow the balls to the tell the younger boy. Great.

 

\---------------------

 

Niall felt really restless as he woke up, slightly confused for a bit, his head still dizzy, for a moment thinking he was at his dorm because Liam didn’t seem to be there, but the bed was definitely too big for that and it smelled too much like the older man, way more than the shirt he had stolen from him would have ever smelled like.

After turning and stirring for a while, Niall finally managed to open his eyes after rubbing them for way too long, his head stinging just for a moment as he forced himself to sit up, feeling a bit exhausted as he looked around the empty room, yawning while he tried to clear his head. Was it stupid that even though he was really happy that he was here, that he felt a little bit sad about not being able to get morning cuddles from Liam? But the older man was probably talking to his mother or something, or maybe he had gone to the bathroom, it wasn’t his fault that Niall absolutely hated waking up without him.

Slowly attempting to get out of bed without stumbling, Niall had a pretty hard time dressing himself appropriately for being in the same room as Liam’s mother, he didn’t even bother checking his phone or even looking for it as he made his way to the living room, still feeling really sleepy and a bit cold as well. Had he put on one of Liam’s hoodies though, the older man would have probably gotten overprotective again, thinking Niall was still sick, and though Niall didn’t mind Liam being all over him and taking care of him, he still wouldn’t wanna worry him for nothing at all, in front of his mother and everything.

Turned out though that it would have never come to that because as soon as Niall smelled food and took the way to the kitchen, he felt a smile spreading on his lips as he tried to be quiet, quickly making sure there was nobody else in here except for him and Liam before sneaking up behind the older man standing in front of the stove, shirtless, carefully wrapping his arms around the brunette’s stomach from behind, cheek resting against his shoulder blades.

“Jesus Christ, Niall! I almost burned myself.” He didn’t sound half as mad as he tried to make it seem though, Liam had only slightly flinched as Niall had sneaked up behind him, making the younger boy smile as he closed his eyes, enjoying the older’s warmth he could feel through his clothes, having no real intentions of ever letting go again.

“Sorry… I missed you in bed.” Niall mumbled against Liam’s skin, tightening his arms as he felt the older’s hand grabbing a light hold of his wrist, thumb rubbing over the skin, gently. 

“My mum woke me up, she wanted to say goodbye before she left, she… told me to tell you bye from her and that she really enjoyed meeting you.” Oh, so she had left already, Niall wouldn’t have minded had she stayed, however, he was also pretty damn excited about getting Liam to himself all day long. Or what was left of it actually, he had no bloody idea how late it even was. “She really likes you a lot, and she thinks you’re very cute.”

“Thanks… I like her too, she’s really nice. Well, she kinda has to be, since she’s your mum.” Laughing quietly, Niall heard Liam snort, not letting go of him though or dropping any hints that he needed more space. Good. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Niall just kept on smiling with closed eyes as the older man asked, really trying to get everything out of this situation, it was just so nice to stay like this, just holding onto Liam, cuddling into him, it was probably his most favorite thing in the world. Apart from kissing him, obviously.

“Nothing, just that you’re nice.” Shrugging a bit, Niall turned his head without thinking, pressing his lips to the back of Liam’s neck, feeling the skin warming his own, his stomach tingling a bit. “And sweet. And really fucking hot, even if that’s unrelated to the topic, but still.”

“Thank you so much, babe.” He tried to laugh it off, but Niall didn’t even have to see his face in order to know that Liam was probably blushed and the thought of it made him smile even more. 

“You’re welcome. Anyways, what’re you making?” It smelled really good, but then again, everything Liam cooked always smelled like that and Niall trusted the older man that he knew what he was doing and that it would probably turn out to be amazing. Like everything he attempted. 

“Some breakfast for you, I already ate before with my mum. I actually would have come to wake you with it, it’s already 3 pm.” Shit, Niall should have stayed in bed then. 

“Oh. Well, I can always go back to bed and pretend to be asleep and then you can still wake me with breakfast in bed.” The blonde suggested hopefully, feeling the older’s body shake a bit against his as he laughed. 

“Or you could also help me and watch these eggs for a bit while I make you some tea.” Didn’t sound quite as good as Niall’s idea, but the blonde still agreed anyways, unwillingly allowing the brunette man to get out of his grip, keeping his hands on him for an unnecessary amount of time, holding onto his wrist for a bit so he could steal a kiss.

Liam seemed to be tired as well, but he smiled down at the younger boy as their eyes met, one hand on his hip before he tilted his head to meet Niall’s lips, soft and gentle and warm. It didn’t last very long, but the blonde still felt tingles in his stomach, his body somehow automatically curving into the older man’s. If Liam didn’t give the best good morning kisses in the whole entire world, then Niall didn’t know who else did. “Hmmm… morning.”

“Try afternoon, Nialler.” The older man chuckled fondly, pressing his lips against the younger’s once more before slowly letting go of him, not before ruffling his hair though, messing it up even more than it had already been to begin with and briefly kissing the side of his head. “Here, think you’ll manage to not let everything burn within the next five minutes?”

“I think I’ll manage.” Niall rolled his eyes as he took the spoon out of Liam’s hand, making the older man laugh while he pretended to pout, not really mad though because Liam’s question wasn’t coming from nowhere after all. Not Niall’s fault though that he couldn’t cook at all, was it? “So… what’d your mum say? Like… does she also think we’re madly in love like Haz and Louis?”

Liam didn’t answer immediately, but Niall didn’t really think anything of it, he was busy keeping his eyes on the pan anyways, trying not to let anything burn for real and figuring that Liam was probably busy searching for something on the other side of the kitchen as well. Besides, he sounded pretty normal as he answered. “Well… she did say that we, um… that we’d make a nice couple and… some other stuff.”

“It’s not so bad though, is it? Like… I don’t mind what anyone thinks of us anyways, I know you didn’t want her to think that, but it’s fine if she does, not like we could change it, right? Like, it’s whatever, both of us know how it’s really like, I think that’s all that matters.” The blonde was trying to calm Liam down, since he knew how worked up the man probably was because of this, how he had made these rules about how they could and couldn’t touch when his mother was present, but it had been bound to happen anyways, hadn’t it? The way she had talked last night, Niall had already guessed that she would probably say something about it to Liam afterwards. “Does it… bother you?”

“No, I… it’s fine, I think, like… we’re already used to that anyways, right? And… and yeah… we know how it’s really like, so… it doesn’t matter anyways.” His voice sounded a bit weird, but Niall couldn’t see the older’s face as he turned his head because he was searching for something in one of his cupboards and the blonde decided to drop the topic, obviously, it wasn’t Liam’s favorite and Niall didn’t wanna push it or anything. Hopefully it wouldn’t cause Liam to ever think about keeping more distance between them or something, it didn’t seem like it at all, but Niall was slightly scared of just how worried that thought got him. 

“Yeah… should I put salt on that?” Though Niall _knew_ that he shouldn’t put salt on that, he still asked, getting the one reaction he had hoped for, which was Liam completely forgetting about whatever they had talked about or what he had been searching for in favor of coming over quickly with a rather loud “NO!” that almost made the blonde laugh, letting the older man take charge again.

That was part of the things Niall loved the very most with Liam, them just doing basic normal things together, having fun and talking, eating breakfast (or actually lunch) together, not having to worry about anything because Niall would only have to leave again tomorrow evening. Which was pretty close still, but the blonde had become a pro at pushing it into the back of his head anyways, try to enjoy every moment that he had with Liam as much as possible. 

Once they were done eating and cleaning up, they went to lie on the couch for a little bit, both of them still somehow sleepy and lazy, no real plans for the day and they had already wasted most of it already by sleeping in for so long. It was fine though, Niall liked whenever they did nothing at all, usually he’d get restless after a while, but Liam always made him feel calm, running his hands through the blonde’s hair, massaging his scalp and playing with his fingers, touching him somewhere at all times. 

“Do you wanna do something? Watch a movie or so?” The blonde’s head was in Liam’s lap, playing with his phone while the older man did whatever, Niall wasn’t exactly sure, all he knew was that he very much enjoyed having his hair evenly combed by Liam’s fingers, as if he had already forgotten about doing it. 

“Hmmm… we can if you want. Are there any new ones?” The amount of movies they had watched was quite insane actually, but it’s not like they were really always watching, most of the time they ended up naked and breathing heavily. Not something Niall would have ever said no to though. 

“I don’t know, we can have a look. Or… or you could write that essay you gotta do.” Shoot, Niall shouldn’t have told Liam about it, he groaned a bit, dropping his phone on his chest before rolling his eyes, seeing the older man’s amused face above his, his fingers brushing Niall’s fringe out of his forehead. “I could help.”

“Liam… “ Niall started before promptly forcing himself to break off, like… he really appreciated the offer, but they both knew that if there were only two people in the world completely unsuited to write this essay, it would be the both of them. “I’ll write it on Monday, after I convinced Harry to let me have a look at his. But if Louis happens to ask you about it, tell him I already have it, okay? Or Haz will think I’m gonna steal his ideas or something.”

“Are you?” Liam sounded slightly worried, making Niall chuckle as he let his eyes fall closed, turning his head a bit more towards the older man, just because he could.

“Of course, how else would I pass?” Somehow it was a joke, but it was still true somehow and Liam probably knew it because he let out nothing but a sigh, luckily keeping up the stroking though, causing the blonde to get even sleepier than he had already been to begin with. Pretty sure if they kept this up for longer, Niall was gonna pass out on Liam or something.

They stayed quiet for a minute or two, nothing audible but their breathing, and it wasn’t until Liam started to softly tug at Niall’s hair, as if he was getting a closer look at it or something, that the younger boy realized what he had packed in a hurry yesterday before leaving his dorm. “Your hair’s growing out… are you gonna dye it back soon?”

“Yep, do you wanna help me?” Usually Harry would help Niall with that, but Niall had kinda forgotten about it and he had figured he could just bring the dye with him, even though Liam would probably freak out about doing anything wrong, the younger boy had figured they could have a laugh. Also, Liam was right, his hair really was growing out.

“What? How?” The older man seemed confused, even more when Niall sat up all of a sudden, having to suppress a yawn as he rubbed his eyes a bit, letting himself fall back into Liam’s side, seeking his body warmth as he smirked at him. 

“I brought the dye, I just remembered now that you said that, I was gonna ask Harry for help but I kinda forgot. So?” The hesitation in Liam’s face was obvious, it almost got Niall laughing but he kept it down, liking the way Liam’s arm had somehow automatically wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him in close. 

“Umm…. I’ve never dyed anyone’s hair before though, I don’t really wanna mess it up, like… “ Sounded reasonable, but no need telling him that Niall didn’t really _need_ his help that much, he was just slightly amused by how freaked out the brunette man seemed to be. “And what if it looks horrible? Maybe we should call my stylist and-“

“Li, it’ll be fine, I’ve been doing this half my life. And even if you do mess up, I won’t be mad at you, okay? Promise.” Honestly, it’s not like Niall was very vain or anything, he could have probably even forgiven Liam for turning his hair purple or something. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I’m not very sure about that… Niall...” Liam only unwillingly allowed Niall to get out of his arms and up, his facial expression a little stressed out as he took Niall’s hand so the blonde could help pulling him to his feet as well, causing them to stand a bit closer than expected. “You know, maybe we should-“

Not allowing him to finish his protest, Niall simply pressed their lips together instead, hearing Liam grunt a bit against his mouth but not pulling back and maybe Niall should have felt a little bad for always using this trick against Liam, but he was pretty damn sure that the brunette man wasn’t exactly hating it. Judging by his hands that immediately settled on the blonde’s hips and the way he willingly opened his mouth for Niall’s tongue, melting into the kiss, he was enjoying the heck out of it.

It hadn’t been Niall’s intention for the kiss to go that deep or anything, but kissing Liam felt so amazing that he couldn’t just immediately pull back again, instead curling one arm around the brunette’s neck, his free hand resting against Liam’s biceps, loving the fact that the man still hadn’t put on a shirt. 

When they finally did pull apart, they were both breathing a bit more heavily, foreheads resting together for a moment and Niall felt a smile tugging on his lips as he felt Liam breathing against his sensitive feeling lips before rubbing their noses together, making the blonde giggle a bit stupidly. How was anybody allowed to be this sweet? 

“So… will you help dying my hair?” Niall tried to sound innocent as he half mumbled against the older’s mouth, already knowing that he had won when he heard and felt the defeated sigh Liam let out, fitting his lips to Niall’s once more, softly, stubble rubbing over the blonde’s skin. “Please?”

“Hmm, I don’t know… think I need a bit more convincing… “ The answer sounded cheeky, Niall had to bite back a smile, knowing that Liam was probably blushing right after it was out, but he decided to keep his eyes closed, more than happy to do what he had been asked for.

Instead of answering, the blonde just kept pressing kisses to Liam’s lips, then the corner of his mouth, feeling the older’s breathing increase as Niall mouthed and kissed along his jaw, Liam’s hands grabbing tighter onto him, pulling the blonde in closer even though that was hardly possible, their thighs were even pressed together by now. When Niall reached the older’s ear, he kissed it as well before making sure to whisper, letting the older man feel his every breath. “Please, bean?”

Liam clearly had trouble keeping it together by now and Niall _loved_ it, loved being in control even though he also very much enjoyed it whenever it was the other way around, but it was just fun for now, with no real intentions, even though Niall was pretty sure that he would have gotten Liam to do whatever he wanted right now. “Nialler… “

“Is that a yes?” Niall kept whispering, kissing down Liam’s neck now, only gently biting down for a moment, hearing the older man’s breath hitch, fingers almost painfully digging into Niall’s sides now. That was definitely a yes. 

“I… I think I… I think I can dye your hair… if you really want me to… “ He sounded more than breathless and it made Niall smile against the older’s skin, placing another kiss onto his jaw before finally pulling back enough to properly see his face, how flushed his cheeks were, eyes only flattering open for a little bit. 

“I think I really do want you to.” The blonde couldn’t help but smile brightly, knowing that maybe he was being a little tease here, but he just couldn’t help it, especially not when he could see how much Liam was enjoying all of this. And maybe it annoyed him just slightly. “C’mon, I don’t wanna grow brown hair here.”

Without a warning, Niall quickly pecked Liam’s lips once more before promptly pulling back, catching one of the older’s hand in his before winking at him, pulling him with him even though Liam resisted just lightly, pouting a little bit as if he wasn’t very happy with the outcome of this situation. “Very funny, babe.”

“Aren’t I always?” It was still noticeable in Liam’s voice, that he was really trying to catch his breath, rubbing around his face with his free hand as he followed Niall, their fingers interlaced just like they always were and the blonde couldn’t help but turn his head just to kiss Liam’s bare upper arm, seeing even more pink fill the brunette’s face. 

There was nothing but a huff coming as a response though that made Niall grin, even more so when he saw the hint of a smile on Liam’s flushed face, the way his fingers squeezed the younger boy’s just like they had so often by now, the way they just fit together like that, as if it had always been this way somehow. Yeah, it had only been a bit over six months, which wasn’t that short either, but Niall still couldn’t have ever imagined not having Liam in his life like this anymore, he wouldn’t have ever wanted to. Actually, he wasn’t even sure if he would have been able to bear it.

 

\--------------

 

“I…. is this what it’s supposed to look like, Nialler?” Liam sounded more than just unsure as he stared at the blonde, who was looking at himself in the mirror, actually quite happy with the outcome so far. Not that he had done particularly much, Liam and him had just kinda smushed the dye on for a while, making sure to cover everything and it did actually look very much like it always did whenever Harry helped the blonde instead. 

“I think so, haven’t done it in a while, but I’m pretty sure it’s gonna look just fine once I washed it out and everything. See? You did great, Li, I swear.” The brunette man had been slightly hesitant at first, but once he had seen Niall not really giving two fucks, he had grown a bit more confident and careless as well, now seeming to be somewhat amused while watching Niall. “And you styled it pretty cool as well.”

“Yeah? Maybe I should become a hair stylist or something.” They both laughed for a moment until Liam suddenly got up from the edge of his bathtub he had been sitting, some spots from the dye still on his bare chest since he hadn’t ever bothered putting on a shirt. “Can I take a picture? You look… really good like this.”

“Ha, ha, ha. But yeah, just take one, I do look pretty cool, I guess.” Or maybe not, but Niall didn’t really care anyways, just waited until Liam had taken a picture of him with a grin on his face, sitting back on the edge of the bathtub, continuing to do something with his phone. “What’re you doing? You’re not posting it, are you? No one wants to see that.”

“But I wanna have it on my Instagram though.” He didn’t seem to care about the reactions and Niall maybe should have protested, but then again, they did stuff like this all the time, so he just went to sit next to the older man, looking over his shoulder to see what he was doing, not being able to hold back a laugh when he saw Liam’s caption. [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/ff613e7559cfc4ebc0933d163ce8cf31/tumblr_inline_o2fweeyT6F1rggmxj_500.jpg)

“Cute? You think I look _cute_ like that?” Pretty sure he was just doing it for the fans and yet it still caused Niall’s stomach to turn a little bit, not being able to hold back that dumb smile. 

“I’m your fake boyfriend, I gotta say things like that.” Another shrug before Liam pocketed his phone and turned his head with a grin, cheeks yet again tainted red but it didn’t seem to bother him that time and had Niall not been forced to be careful with his hair being full of dye, he would have probably taken up right where they had left it before. They had the whole night as well, Niall could keep it in his pants for a while, even if it was hard with Liam sitting there half naked and with the face of an angel and everything.

“Thanks so much, I didn’t know I needed a fake boyfriend in order to hurt my feelings.” Niall was joking, obviously, but he enjoyed pretending to play mad and pout a little bit, only because he knew very well that it would get Liam all touchy and apologetic with a few kisses to make up for it. 

“Awww, c’mon, Ni, I was just joking. I’m sure once you wash the dye out it’ll look really amazing, okay? I’m sorry.” There was no way Liam was taking the blonde serious, but he still wrapped his arm around him, carefully, pulling him over just a little bit until their thighs and sides were pressed together, forcing Niall to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t immediately start smiling again. It was so damn hard being around Liam and _not_ being happy. 

“I don’t know if I can forgive you, Liam, I mean… that hurt me pretty deeply, you gotta write me a song or something to make up for it.” Just the thought of Liam _actually_ doing that got Niall feeling slightly weird, like, Liam didn’t only have love songs and stuff like that, but there was a pretty good chance people would start thinking that they were about Niall now or something, especially because Liam barely ever used specific pronouns. “Actually, don’t write me a song, that’d be weird.”

“Why? Everyone would think it’s really cute.” They probably would, yeah, but still, those Instagram posts and them holding hands in public was one thing, but a song probably required a little more… feeling than that, right? It’s not like Liam could write a song about fuck buddies and not get people suspicious. “I mean, it’s too late now anyways ‘cos my album is gonna come out soon, but… there’s always a next one.”

“Oh god, please don’t, Li, I’ve already had someone at college ask me if you wrote your last single for me and I didn’t know what to say, because well… I couldn’t say ‘Oh no, he wrote that love song about someone else’, it was… awkward.” In the end, Niall had told the girl that had asked that Liam hadn’t written the song himself before realizing that he probably should have gotten his facts straight before just saying things like that. Luckily though, after googling in panic later in his dorm, it had turned out that the song had indeed been written with someone else, thank god.

“Well, what’d you say then?” Liam seemed kinda amused by that story, his arm was still around Niall, both of them kinda already having forgotten what this had been about in the first place.

“That you didn’t write it and that it wasn’t inspired by true events… it wasn’t, right?” It better not have been.

“Hmm, well, maybe it was though, a little bit.” Immediately, Niall turned his head just to find Liam smirking at him, very obviously making fun of him but the blonde still wasn’t a hundred percent satisfied with that answer. “What would you do if I told you it was?”

“I wouldn’t believe you.” At least Niall would try not to, but that was ridiculous though, wasn’t it? There was no need to be… _jealous_ over a stupid song that was potentially about someone Niall had never even seen or met, someone who Liam would have known before Niall had even known that he existed. “You’re just trying to get me worked up.”

“Is it working? _Am I_ getting you worked up?” God, couldn’t he just drop it and that stupid smile along with it?! Niall didn’t even care one bit. 

“No.” Just a little. “And anyways, if you did write it about someone else, I’m still the one who’s gonna go on set with you when you’re shooting the music video. _And_ when you’re promoting the album, just saying.”

“Niall… “ Alright, Niall had slightly taken it too far with that, he knew it, but it was already out now and there was no way to take it back so even though he felt himself getting embarrassed for that outbreak, he still tried to stay confident about it. Shit, why was this even bothering him anyways, he had slept with people even after he had met Liam, he didn’t really have any right at all to act like this now, did he? Besides, they were _fake_ dating, so another reason why Niall didn’t care at all. “You know that someone else wrote that song for me, right? Like entirely. We just made a few changes together regarding the music, that’s all.”

“… yeah, I know. It was just _hypothetically_. Anyways, I gotta go and wash this out now or my hair will turn purple.” God, Niall had really messed it up, it was his turn to blush now, not even daring to look at Liam anymore as he made attempts to get up off the bathtub and into the shower instead, never really getting that far though because he was immediately held back by a hand around his upper arm. Shit. 

“Nialler, hey. You’re not really mad about this, are you?” Well, Niall would have _loved_ to be mad actually, because that would have meant he wouldn’t have had to suppress these feelings of… jealousy. “Look at me, Ni.”

“What? It was just a joke.” Or something like that, the blonde tried his hardest to keep his facial expressions under control as Liam cupped his chin with his free hand, gently turning the blonde’s head to face him and Niall easily obeyed, not wanting to be difficult now that he had made such a fool out of himself. Because of a damn song. “It’s fine, Li.”

“Are you sure? You seem a bit… tense.” Well, that’s because he _was_ , even though he felt relief spreading through him because of what Liam had said, now he just felt like an idiot for acting up like that. “There’s no one I’ve ever written a song about, just so you know, okay? And you’re also gonna be the only one besides Louis who I’d ever take on set with me for the video, yeah?”

“I… really?” Okay, Niall definitely needed to tone it down, but he couldn’t help his heart beating a tiny little bit faster, that smile on his face feeling less hard to keep up, especially when he saw the crinkles by Liam’s eyes as he returned it, thumb rubbing over the younger’s chin before he slowly dropped his hand. 

“Yeah, really. I didn’t move the date to a day where you can come for nothing, you know, I want you to be there. And… I also want you to be there when I’m going to the US to promote the album, alright? And for as many times as you can come out on tour as well. It’ll be great.” He sounded so serious about it, so genuine, that Niall felt goosebumps rising all over his body, almost feeling forced to lower his eyes just as Liam leaned forward to press a kiss onto the younger’s lips, lingering a bit, his hand having shifted to caress the younger’s knee instead. “C’mon hop in the shower now.”

“Okay, I… “ For a second, Niall was tempted to just let it slip like that, never ever talk about it again because of how embarrassed he was, but looking into Liam’s face, his warm, brown eyes, Niall couldn’t help but kiss him once more, even if he felt embarrassed. “Thank you… “

“It’s okay, love… “ His voice was barely more than a breath against Niall’s lips right before the blonde pulled away, pretty sure he could see Liam smiling though for the split of a second. The good thing about this was that Niall knew that the older man wouldn’t keep bugging him about this, or tease him with it, he’d never do that, not when it got serious like that and it was something Niall really loved about him, that he was always so caring, always so considerate of everyone’s feelings. 

Since they had obviously seen each other naked plenty of times, Niall just simply undressed himself with Liam right there, having some trouble with his shirt though that Liam helped him with so he wouldn’t get dye on it, kinda liking the fact that the shower was pretty see through and Liam was right fucking there, watching him. Or maybe he wasn’t, Niall wasn’t quite sure, they were still having a conversation, but Niall was more focused on not getting any of the dye into his eyes and trying to calm down about what had just happened, turning the water a little bit colder so the flush would disappear from his cheeks.

Once he had made sure to wash all of it out and stepped out of the shower, the brunette man immediately handed Niall a towel, waiting for him to dry his hair a bit before wrapping it around his waist, just barely covering himself, stepping in front of the large body mirror in order to inspect himself. “Well… I guess I gotta wait until it’s dry, but it does look lighter, doesn’t it?”

“Hmmm… let me see.” Liam’s expression actually seemed as if he was genuinely gonna give Niall critique on his hair as he stepped behind him, the blonde watching him through the mirror, feeling the older man tug at a few strands of wet hair and Niall should have maybe felt stupid for enjoying it this much. He just loved Liam playing with his hair, that was all. “I mean, it does look more blonde, I just hope we won’t find any spots we missed once it’s dry.”

“I don’t think so, I had the dye all over my neck and ears too, if anything, it’s gonna be _too_ light.” Probably not, but Niall didn’t really care that much anymore either because Liam was standing so close behind him, their bare skin kinda brushing, kinda not, and the blonde didn’t even have to turn his head too much in order to reach Liam’s lips with his, feeling the older’s hands rubbing his still wet upper arms as he kissed back. “Thank you for helping me… “

“You’re welcome, Nialler… “ His breath was heavy against the younger’s mouth, tongue darting out to lick at Niall’s bottom lip and the blonde easily gave in with a sigh, relaxing his jaw and allowing Liam access, leaning back and more into the brunette man, warmth spreading all over his body. 

This seemed very much like a second part to what they had done earlier and the blonde didn’t mind one bit that it was Liam in charge now, his strong arms circling Niall’s stomach from behind, pressing him snugly against him as they snogged. Five seconds earlier, Niall had actually planned on drying himself off and putting some clothes on so he wouldn’t get cold, but seeing as Liam was doing a very, very good job at keeping him warm, the blonde really didn’t see any reason to do that anymore, especially not when he had Liam’s tongue inside of his mouth, massaging his own.

Had Niall’s neck not slightly started to ache from that position, he was pretty sure he would have never been able to pull away again, but he didn’t mind as Liam’s kisses started to trail down his jaw and neck while the younger boy attempted to catch some breath, head falling back against the older’s shoulder, giving him more access, heart bumping fast. “You looked really hot showering… “

“Thanks, Leemo… “ Was all Niall brought out, his breathless laugh getting stuck in his throat when he felt Liam’s lips on his shoulder and collar bone, sucking lightly on the junction between his neck and shoulder. “Liam… “

“You alright?” The blonde mumbled against his skin, of course asking for Niall’s well being now because he always did and the younger boy nodded before he realized that Liam couldn’t see him while being busy bruising and marking up his skin.

“Yeah… yeah I’m… “ No idea what Niall had been planning on saying because he had gotten the crazy idea and blinked his eyes open to look back into the mirror right in front of him, being able to watch Liam showering him in kisses, the way his arms looked wrapped tightly around Niall’s stomach from behind, tattoos on display, his skin in harsh contrast to Niall’s much lighter one. Fuck, Liam was so fucking hot. 

There was no answer, Liam just kept working the blonde’s neck, holding him tightly, and Niall was pretty sure that his skin was going to burn later from the way Liam’s beard was scratching him. Lucky for him though, he freaking loved the feeling, loved going home and feeling his neck pulsing underneath his fingertips whenever he pressed onto the bruises Liam had left there, the blonde’s skin going pink whenever the older man didn’t shave. It was like the shirt Niall had stolen, a memory of Liam for whenever they couldn’t be together and it’d be a lie to say Niall had never gotten himself off to it, pressing down onto the aching spots while jerking off.

When the older man’s hand travelled down further Niall’s belly, the blonde was pretty sure he would actually pass out soon from lack of air, very aware that Liam could feel how hard his heart was beating because he had his lips right there against the younger’s pules. Niall was half hard underneath his towel and it was noticeable, not that Liam had looked up or anything, but he could probably feel it after his fingers had brushed over Niall’s stomach, following his happy trail down to where the blonde had sloppily tied the towel low around his waist. Shit.

The first touch of Liam’s hand almost felt like too much, though it wasn’t even skin on skin yet, he was just palming Niall over the towel and the younger boy hissed in pleasure, the rigid tissue of the towel rubbing over his sensitive cock, and he pushed his arse back into Liam’s crotch, feeling the older man getting hard against him. “Li… “

“Hmm?” Was all Liam made, pressing a final kiss against the sore spot on Niall’s neck before his mouth was suddenly gone for a moment, only to press against the younger’s ear a moment later, only softly, hand still working the blonde and his breath feeling hot as he whispered. “Can I…?”

“Yeah… yeah, god, Liam… “ He didn’t really have to ask that, did he? Niall had allowed his eyes to fall back closed again, head once more resting against the older’s shoulder, probably getting him really wet but if he did, he never heard any complaints about it.

For a moment, Niall was really scared Liam was going to tease him because of what Niall had done before, getting the older man all blushed and worked up, but his fear turned out to be unjustified because only moments later, he felt the towel falling from his hips and to their feet, his erection springing free and Liam’s free arm holding him even tighter pressed against him, barely noticeably thrusting against the younger’s arse.

“Fuck, Niall… “ It was only a breath that Niall almost missed because his ears were rushing as Liam’s hand wrapped around him, only going in a very slow pace and almost driving him the fuck insane with it, but he choked back his whine, tried to stay somewhat still, forcing himself to not thrust up into the older’s first. “Ni… open your eyes…”

Niall hadn’t even noticed anymore that he had closed them, but as he blinked his eyes open, needing a second to get them to be focused again, first of all not seeing anything besides Liam’s face right beside his, then his arm tightly wrapped around Niall’s body and finally, finally he looked deep enough to see Liam’s hand around his cock, getting him off, and that was exactly the moment when Niall couldn’t hold back yet another moan. Oh god, why had they never had sex in front of a mirror before? “Liam… Liam… _please_ … “

“Fuck, Nialler, look at you… “ Liam almost seemed to be as breathless as the younger boy by now, hips still moving against Niall’s back, letting him feel how hard he was through just a layer of clothing and the younger boy found himself wishing there would have been nothing instead, he was so close to begging the older man to just get inside of him, fuck him hard while they were watching themselves in the mirror and god, just the thought of it pushed Niall even close to the edge. “You look so good look this, babe… “

All Niall could reply to that was a grunt, not able to do much besides clinging to Liam’s arm still wrapped around him, trying to force his eyes to stay open so he could keep on watching, see Liam’s big hand wrapped around him, the tattoos on the back, getting him off in a now steady rhythm, the tip of his cock pocking out of the older’s fist, nothing audible in the room besides their heavy breathing and the wet noise of Liam’s hand gliding over Niall’s dick.

Niall was so fucking hard by now, feeling Liam’s fingers playing with the sensitive foreskin, thumb swiping over the head, spreading the precum down his length before going back to doing these full and quick strokes, not allowing the younger boy to thrust up though because of how tightly he was holding him pressed against him, so he could rut against his arse. 

They had never done anything like this before and the blonde was sure that he wouldn’t be lasting much longer, not with Liam keeping up this fast rhythm, knowing his way around Niall’s cock, by now so well that the younger boy wondered how he had managed to even hold back for that long. Like, having Liam’s hand wrapped around his dick was one thing, but being able to watch like this, seeing the veins in his arms move, the tattoo on the back of his hand, the way the older man’s face was flushed as well, eyes glued onto Niall through the mirror was… a whole other level.

“Fuck, Li… Li, ‘m gonna… gonna cum… don’t stop… shit… “ Niall’s words were just a blur, interrupted by moans, and he felt Liam breathing heavily into his ear, grunting when Niall did his best to push back against him, give him more friction to thrust against even though he wanted to go into the complete opposite direction. “Liam… _fuck_ … “

The heat coiling in Niall’s belly was nearly unbearable, he was so, _so_ close and then Liam did this thing that drove Niall crazy and the blonde had the hardest time ever to keep his eyes open to be able to keep on watching as he came without warning, the older’s name still on his lips, breath stopping as he spilled over his hand and partly onto the mirror, hearing Liam groan behind him, an extra hard push of his clothed crotch against Niall’s ass as he reached his orgasm as well.

Liam kept stroking Niall through it, sloppily, even continuing when the blonde was slowly coming down again, ears ringing and his whole body feeling weak in the best way possible, whining a bit because of how sensitive he was now but allowing Liam to keep on holding him, thrusting against him until he eventually haltered to a stop, letting out a deep breath he seemed to have been holding. “Oh god… we… we gotta do that more often, shit… that was so hot, Liam… so hot… “

“Yeah… c’mere.” The older man didn’t really give Niall a lot of time to come down before immediately turning him around to finally face him for a real, a soft, sleepy smile on his lips as he pressed a kiss onto Niall’s forehead, brushing some of the still wet, and now sweaty, hair out of his eyes before pulling him into his arms, making Niall smile. Liam could never go without his post sex cuddles, could he? “Really glad you got me dying your hair… “

“Yeah, me too…” Niall would have to shower again now, but he didn’t mind one bit as he hugged Liam back, burying his face against the older’s neck and shoulder, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of Liam’s body right against his. He actually wasn’t one who had needed this much physical contact after these kinda activities, but it had kinda changed ever since he had met Liam, ever since they had grown so close. And apparently, it had also turned his brain to mush. “I love this… “

“What?” Liam’s voice was quiet, a bit raspy, but Niall barely noticed, he just cuddled closer into the older man, humming when he felt the other’s arm tightening, feeling as if though he could have gone straight to bed right now and taken a 5 hour nap. But only if Liam would have come lie down with him.

“Us.” The blonde simply replied, maybe he should have been embarrassed or whatever, but he really wasn’t in that moment and it was true after all, he loved this, all of it, every single part of being with Liam, whatever it was they were doing and if anything, it was just getting better with time. 

It took a while before Liam answered, his voice having changed all of a sudden, more quiet now, more careful, but Niall was kinda exhausted and he felt so happy and safe all around that he hadn’t thought anything of it as Liam’s breath had hitched just slightly and Niall was barely even listening to what he was saying actually, ears still ringing a bit. “Yeah, I… I love y-… I love this too. A lot. I… I think, we, um… need another shower though.”

Had Niall not been so wrapped up into his blissful bubble, maybe he would have noticed how flushed Liam’s face had gotten as he leaned back, but he blamed it on what they had just done, didn’t look hard enough to see Liam’s smile falter for just a second as they looked at each other before kissing yet again, softly and slowly. For Niall, everything was perfect just the way it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! feels like ages since i updated and it was only a bit over a week haha, but anyways, i hope you all like the new chapter and especially the fact that liam is FINALLY realizing his true feelings for niall, the fic wont be too extremely long anymore now but still a few more chapters to come ;)


	21. Chapter 21

“Nialler, time to wake up… “ The voice singsonged and Niall did nothing but grunt as he tried to move away from the hand having crept underneath the blanket, trying to press his face deeper into the pillow. “C’mon, babe, I let you sleep for 30 extra minutes.”

“Can I have 5 more?” Niall couldn’t help but whine, not even sure if Liam had even understood one single word, but it wasn’t like he genuinely cared because he literally felt as if he might slip back into sleep just half a second later. 

“The car’s already there, Ni, but you can sleep on the way to the airport, yeah? And on the plane as well, I promise, all you gotta do is walk to the front door.” Seemed way too hard to manage, and also way too cold, Niall let out another grunt, momentarily hating the older man for flicking on the light on the bedside table, but he quickly forgave him once Liam suddenly leaned over him, lips placing a kiss on his cheek, then his temple. “We’re gonna miss the plane, Nialler.”

“It’s a private jet… “ Liam was just trying to mess with him, his hand now having found its way underneath Niall’s shirt, rubbing the skin, distracting the blonde a bit too much to fall back asleep during the small moment of silence. “How late?”

“4:30 am.” It was Niall’s fault, if anyone’s, but then again, he was pretty sure that Liam wouldn’t have suggested any of this had he not wanted it this way. Sure, it seemed kind of really fucking stupid, that Niall couldn’t just fly over to Los Angeles by himself and sleep in before that, because Liam needed to be there for an interview today and then stay in the US for a bit to promote his album and stuff. But the older man had been the one who had told Niall to come last night, that they’d fly over together and literally use every second they could possibly have together. Even though the blonde was on summer break since yesterday and he wasn’t planning on going back to his dorm until it was over.

The last three months had been good, brilliant, actually. They had spent so much time together that Harry had once approached Niall asking whether he wasn’t growing tired of it, being on the train for hours every weekend, but the blonde hadn’t even had to think twice before shaking his head, like, how would anyone ever doubt that he would do whatever it took just to be able to see Liam?

Not a lot had changed between them, they were so close that Niall was pretty sure there was _nothing_ he would have felt genuinely uncomfortable talking about with Liam, nothing he wouldn’t have wanted to do with the older man, even if it was just brushing their teeth next to each other in the morning. Also, Niall had met the rest of Liam’s family, the brunette man had invited them all over, of course asking Niall beforehand, and they were all very nice and friendly and Niall almost felt like he somehow belonged, like, he got along brilliantly with Liam’s dad and of course his mum since he had already known her, and his sisters were so much easier to talk to than he would have thought. 

Liam had taken Niall to work out with him a few times, since his next tour would start again soon and he needed to be in shape, which hadn’t really been Niall’s favorite activity, even though watching Liam sweating and seeing his muscles move was really fucking hot, but the blonde had quickly figured out that he could use the time to squeeze in some extra naps. Which, of course, had been very much to Liam’s amusement. [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/15d1d9c971e89d9408a927f5a8a91176/tumblr_inline_o2rfo5qAO71rggmxj_500.jpg)

Also, Liam had taken Niall to yet another award show [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/ce56ff5218343449f5c6c06b55872559/tumblr_inline_o2rfn8QgiS1rggmxj_500.jpg), which he had won, luckily, because even though Niall was pretty sure that having sex in order to cheer the brunette man up would have been really amazing too, the celebration sex had almost caused Niall to pass out from pleasure. He had been much more relaxed during the whole thing, had been a bit surprised at first when some of Liam’s fans had greeted him even there on the red carpet, but actually, it had felt really nice, actually seeing that they supported them in real life and not just online.

Another thing that had happened had been Liam’s music video, which Niall had been so fucking eager to come and watch, only getting slightly disappointed when the older man hadn’t taken his shirt off. The blonde had even jokingly suggested it to the director, causing Liam to go red and quiet while everyone else on set just laughed, telling the older man he should bring Niall along more often and Liam had just rolled his eyes, only seconds later already pulling Niall closer for a kiss though. So yeah, Niall was pretty sure that even though Liam pretended to be embarrassed sometimes [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/ac754330323f2dfcb80aaee74dbb689c/tumblr_inline_o2rfnoZlza1rggmxj_500.jpg), he was _definitely_ going to allow Niall to come along again next time. Just like to pretty much everything else, actually.

So yeah, seeing how much time they spent together, maybe Niall could have waited that one day, could have saved himself from having to get up at 4:30 am to get into a plane, but after a few minutes of Liam rubbing his back, staying hovered above him and occasionally scattering kisses across his face and trying to get him to wake up, Niall finally forced himself to push his body into a sitting position, barely able to see anything because of how badly the light was hurting his eyes. “Shit… “

“You alright? I already got everything to the car, yeah? You don’t even have to change your clothes, you’ll be fine like this, okay? Think you can get up?” Niall should have probably felt bad, but he was so bloody tired and exhausted that he barely had time to worry about that, letting Liam rub his back and brush some hair out of his forehead while the blonde kept rubbing his eyes, suppressing a yawn or two. God, there was literally nothing he wouldn’t have done to get Liam back into bed with him for a few cuddles. “C’mon, love, I’ll get you a hoodie so you won’t get cold, alright?”

“Okay… “ Though Niall wanted to protest because he didn’t want Liam to get up from the edge of the bed, he decided not to be whiny for once, kissing back briefly when the older man pecked his lips before getting up, offering a warm smile that Niall barely even noticed. It wasn’t cold anymore outside, seeing as it was almost July, but the blonde still appreciated Liam caring this much, just like he always did.

The younger boy tried to wake up a bit more before Liam came back, still with the same soft smile on his lips and looking as amazing as ever. Honestly, Niall wouldn’t have been surprised had Liam even showered, his hair was made, he was wearing some jeans and a tight shirt and he smelled incredible, just like always. Comparing that to Niall who felt like he would fall over and die any second, the blonde for once was more than glad that the chances of anybody waiting for them at the airport at this time was practically 0. 

“Alright, here you go, I’ll help you.” Maybe Niall should have felt stupid, allowing Liam to help him dress himself as if he was a child or something, but he honestly didn’t care anymore about this kinda Stuff, especially when it was only the two of them. One thing Niall still didn’t bring so easily over his lips though was simple things like ‘I miss you’, like, not that he never ever said it, just… he was pretty glad that Liam couldn’t see his face whenever they were just talking on the phone. “Okay, ready to go?”

“Yeah, I guess… thanks, Li.” It wasn’t even a question whether Liam had brought Niall one of his own hoodies or not and the blonde freaking loved it, not that he didn’t just go ahead by now and just wear everything out of Liam’s closet as he pleased, but still. “Sorry… “

“For what?” He seemed honestly confused as he kept his arms around the younger boy while Niall forced himself to get out of bed, trying not to press himself too obviously into Liam because it wasn’t like he was barely wearing anything, he was just too tired to get warm without a blanket.

“I don’t know… forcing you to get up this early and then sleeping longer than you.” And being whiny about having to get up, but Liam was probably already used to that anyways. 

“You didn’t force me to do anything at all, Ni, I was the one suggesting this. And anyways, I want you to be on the plane with me, it’s boring as hell on my own.” As if to proof a point, Liam suddenly pulled Niall tightly against his chest, immediately causing the blonde’s arms to wrap around his waist, eyes already about to fall back closed once more as he pressed his face into Liam’s shoulder, quietly breathing him in. “And I also don’t mind that you slept longer ‘cos you’re really cute whenever you don’t wanna get up and try to get me to cuddle with you.”

“I… I didn’t.” Or had he? Niall felt his cheeks going a bit hotter as he realized that he couldn’t even remember the first time Liam had been trying to wake him and judging by the urge for cuddles he had felt before, it didn’t seem very unlikely at all that he had indeed been asking for them out loud. Well, whatever, it wasn’t a secret that they liked to snuggle, right? How would anyone have not wanted Liam in bed with them, he was like a teddy bear.

“You did, but it’s okay… we can move that to the car and the plane if you want.” Slowly pulling back, Niall already felt himself getting cold again as the older man brought more distance between them, keeping his hands on the blonde’s arms though as he smiled before leaning down just a bit until their lips were brushing and Niall felt his legs turn into jelly. Alright, maybe kissing Liam when he was barely able to hold himself on his feet wasn’t such a good idea after all. “You got everything? Your phone?”

“Yeah… my toothbrush is still in your bathroom though, I’ll-“

“No, I already got it, don’t worry.” There was a chuckle, because apparently Liam found it hilarious whenever Niall brought along things like toothbrushes and hair gel, because if it had gone after the brunette man, he would have kept on buying Niall new things each time, which the blonde obviously didn’t want, so he had no choice but to have Liam laughing at him. “Want me to carry you?”

“No, I… I’ll be fine. Thanks though… “ It was a little bit tempting, but Liam’s driver was out there and Paddy as well and Niall really intended to keep some of his pride, it was bad enough that they all had to wait on him and that he would walk out there like a walking zombie clinging to Liam. 

“Alright, let’s go.” Another kiss against Niall’s temple before Liam intertwined their fingers, naturally because they always did, not saying one word as the blonde leaned his head against Liam’s arm while they walked, holding on with his second hand as well just because he could. Well, and also a little bit because he didn’t wanna stumble, he and Paddy got along way better now, but there was no need to embarrass himself to the bones right before they’d have to spend quite a few days together.

Obviously, it was even colder outside than it had been inside, and dark, Liam threw a few worried glances at the younger boy when Niall shivered unwillingly, trying to play it cool though as he waited for Liam to type something on his security display before they walked down to the car, the blonde crawling into the backseat with Liam’s hand resting on the small of his back, just reminding him that he was there, even if there really was no need to. 

“Sorry for the wait, I couldn’t find my phone.” Liam smoothly lied once they had both sat down, Niall’s chest feeling a bit lighter as a consequence, throwing a thankful glance at the older man before scooting closer, pleased to have Liam’s arm wrapping around him just a second later, softly pulling the blonde’s head down to rest in the crook of his shoulder with his free hand. 

There was no real answer, so Niall had hopes that none of them genuinely cared, because why would they anyways, right? Paddy was probably mad at the blonde, or something like that, Niall actually had a feeling that Liam’s body guard knew very well that they were just pretending to date, but he never said much to the blonde so Niall was good with that, they somewhat got along now and that was really everything the blonde could ask for, not like it was that important to him anyways.

He knew that it would be a pretty long drive, though it was this early, but there always seemed to be a ton of traffic in London, something he had quickly learned whenever Liam’s driver had picked him up from the train station and they had always at least come an hour too late. Today though, Niall didn’t mind it one single bit, not with the comforting noise of the car in the background, and his cheek being warmed by Liam’s shoulder, both his arms wrapped tightly around the younger boy, thumb evenly stroking his cheek. _That_ definitely made up for the morning cuddles he had missed out on today. 

“Sleep tight, Nialler… I’ll wake you when we’re there, yeah?” Liam’s breath against Niall’s scalp caused tingles all the way down the younger’s spine, his eyes already having dropped closed the second he had put his head down, pretty sure he’d be asleep again just one second after Liam had wished him a good night. 

This was so good, knowing that they could spend this much time together, more time than they had ever had before, not having to worry about the weekend ending or Niall having to study for some crap, like yeah, maybe he should have, but he had passed the semester after all, not that extremely well, but enough as to where he could sit here now, or half lie on top of Liam, having _weeks_ of getting the older man to himself. Or almost to himself, but Niall didn’t mind if it was for watching Liam perform on stage and watching him doing interviews, all he really cared about was that they could be together at the end of the day.

 

\------------

 

Maybe it was fucking stupid, that Liam was being so nervous about it, because he _knew_ that Niall would be more than just excited about the surprise, or both of them actually, but the first one was definitely more important to the brunette man, even if he wouldn’t be able to tell the blonde. He would have to do it off as just some spontaneous idea that had popped into his head, nothing else, nothing he had talked about with _both_ his mother and Louis, and probably even to Harry in an indirect way. The longer Liam actually thought about this whole thing, the crazier it seemed to be.

He had had three fucking months, ever since his mother had somehow made him realize that he was somehow in love with Niall, and over that course of time, he hadn’t really managed to talk himself out of it or get over it, actually, he just seemed to have gotten in even deeper. By now Liam didn’t even have any idea anymore how he had managed to deny his feelings for so long, how he had managed to shrug off whatever Louis had said, because though Liam kinda really hated the fact that his best friend had been so fucking right all along, the conversation he had had with him about everything about two months ago had been pretty fucking relieving.

Not that it had changed anything about the situation.

Obviously, they were still acting like a bloody couple, maybe more than ever, something Liam had realized way before, but it seemed to become way more obvious to him with each and every day. Adding up to that, Liam was having the worst time ever suppressing his feelings for the boy, having had even more slips where he had almost just blurted out with everything, in the stupidest situations, like when they had been on the phone late at night, or whenever they had watched a movie together and all Liam had really done was to stare at the younger boy, having no idea really what the plot had even been about in the end.

There were these moments when Liam was almost certain that there was a possibility that Niall returned his feelings, like sometimes it seemed more than just unrealistic that he would want to do all of this with Liam, be with him all the time, fall asleep and wake up with him, if he didn’t at least feel something for him, right? But then he would say these things, joke about how stupid it was that their friends believed that they were secretly in love, tell Liam how great it was that they were such good friends, without any commitments. 

And yeah, of course that hurt Liam like hell, and yet he still managed to smile each and every time, not say anything about these things he had overanalyzed during the past few months, how much he loved doing anything at all with Niall, how much the blonde could make him laugh, how sweet he was and how interested he was in Liam’s career, how much he wanted to spend every second with Liam he could, not even trying to hide it. But most of all, how fucking in love he was with this boy, with everything he did, everything _they_ did, and Liam wasn’t sure how long he would be able to continue like this. 

He would have to tell Niall at some point, there was no way out, he wouldn’t magically fall out of love with him, not when they were always stuck together like this, so really, he only had three options. One, he told Niall he needed space, which was pretty much the stupidest idea ever and would 100% have a bad outcome, two, he wouldn’t say anything at all and pretend nothing was going on, which would one day either kill him or end with Niall deciding himself that he was bored of this, or three, he grew some fucking balls and just told the boy.

Liam had been dragging the third option out as long as possible, had told himself he could just enjoy it like this for longer, not make it complicated, but he had seen how fucking hard that was, like… he _was_ the type to be in a relationship after all, had never pretended not to be, and _yes_ , he and Niall had made a deal, but…. Liam couldn’t really control any of his, could he? He _needed_ to talk to the blonde, needed to take that chance and just open his fucking mouth, like Louis had told him, and maybe it’d turn out well, right? Maybe… maybe Niall was just… not sure how to approach the topic himself?

And if it ended badly then… well… they could always just… go back to how it had been… right? Liam had nothing to worry about, had he? He and Niall were like… best fucking mates, everything would be just fine, right? Like… what could go wrong? Except for Niall throwing something at Liam’s head and never ever wanting to talk to him again and completely cutting him out of his live forever and pretending like they had never even known each other and…  
Oh god.

 

\---------------

 

“I can’t believe we’re finally here … “ Niall just basically collapsed onto the hotel bed, with his shoes still on and his phone almost slipping off of the edge of the mattress, voice muffled as he pressed his face against the sheets. “I’m so tired… “

“You’ve slept for the whole car ride and half the flight, babe.” Liam chuckled, dropping his bag next to the door before slowly walking over to the windows and pulling back the curtains to look down, barely being able to believe either that they were here now. That had been one goddamn long flight, but it had gotten a bit better due to the fact that Niall had squeezed himself into the same seat as Liam for half the flight and though the brunette’s arm had fallen asleep from the blonde basically lying on top of it, he hadn’t minded it one bit. Flying with Niall was 100 times better than doing any of this on his own, Liam would get up at 4 in the morning every single day if that meant he could take the blonde everywhere, just have him by his side at all times because his simple presence was lightning up Liam’s day more than anybody else ever could have. And they had weeks of this now, provided… provided Liam didn’t screw it up, obviously. 

“I know… but I could still take another nap now… and some food.” The blonde had turned onto his back, rubbing at his eye as Liam came over with a smile on his face, trying not to think about how cute and cuddly Niall looked like this, in his slightly too big hoodie, eyes threatening to drop closed any second.

“I’ll get you something to eat before we have to go, yeah? Told you I could have gotten another pizza on the plane.” Surprisingly enough, the blonde had claimed he had barely been hungry before, and though he had had a good time taking pictures of Liam while the older man had been eating [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/d401c5f5d2da7fcf7c4b51a93340f4bc/tumblr_inline_o2rfmzE0IT1rggmxj_500.jpg), he had told him that he could last without food until later tonight. Liam shoulder have known that that was not going to happen, if it came to eating, Niall sometimes acted a little bit like a child. 

“Yeah, I know… sorry.” He smiled sheepishly before yawning, making some space so Liam could sit down as well, leaning on his elbow so he could look down at the boy, moving a piece of hair from his eyes, not being able to help the smile forming on his lips. God was he glad he didn’t have to take these trips on his own anymore. “When do we have to leave?”

“In about an hour. Want me to call room service?” Niall probably wouldn’t survive otherwise, it would have made Liam laugh had he not have been trying his hardest to keep his breath steady when he felt Niall’s fingers creeping up his arm, just barely touching him, it almost seemed natural, as if he wasn’t even noticing the patterns he was drawing onto the older’s skin. 

“Hmmm…. “ Was all Niall made, his hand moving up even further, until it was cupping the back of Liam’s head, slowly trying to pull him down and the brunette man immediately went with it, not even thinking about whatever else they had to do today, his brain somehow immediately turning off as he leaned down, hand still resting against the side of Niall’s face. “Maybe in a few minutes… “

Before Liam could reply or even think about it, his eyes had already fallen closed and his lips were pressed against Niall’s, just like they had so many times before and yet it still made him smile against the younger’s mouth as he kissed him harder, until Niall’s head was pressed back into the mattress, his fingers lightly pulling on the hair in the back of Liam’s neck, his lips immediately parting underneath the pressure of Liam’s tongue.

Whenever they kissed like that, this passionate and slow, it was hard to believe that they were just mates, that Niall genuinely believed that none of this was going any deeper than friendship, that he wanted to continue like that until… until when? One of them found somebody else they’d rather have a real relationship with? Until one of them grew tired of it? Of course they could keep it up, had done for 9 months now, but sometimes Liam wondered whether the only reason why he was the only person Niall slept with was because he had no choice ever since it had all gone public. Not that he thought the boy would ever hurt him on purpose, but for Niall this was like… a no strings attached thing, wasn’t it?

As Liam pulled away just barely, his whole mouth tasted like the younger boy, breath going a bit heavier as he stared down at him, his swollen lips and slightly pink face, feeling warmth spreading through his body whenever Niall breathed against his skin. “Thanks for coming with me, Nialler…”

“Where else would I have gone, huh?” He was smiling, lifting his head for a second to kiss Liam one more time, fingers now softly carding through the older’s hair, eyes looking rather sleepy as he was lying underneath the brunette. “Can’t believe I won’t have to go back to college for _weeks_.”

“Yeah, me neither… you’re gonna get so sick of me you’d wish you’d have something to study for again.” Liam joked, causing the blonde to roll his eyes with a smirk right before the older man leaned down to kiss his cheek, maybe also a little bit to make sure Niall wouldn’t see in case there was some blush tainting his face. After all, Liam was really planning on going through with this during the blonde’s summer break, on talking about it with Niall, and who knows what was gonna happen after that.

“I doubt that’s gonna happen… stuck around for almost a year now, haven’t I?” That was true, making this whole thing even more dramatic somehow, like, Louis and Harry had predicted from the beginning that they would develop feelings for each other and yet they had denied it for months but here they were with Liam’s head hurting every night as he tried to think about the right words to tell the boy that he was absolutely gone for him, had been all along. “Maybe you’re the one who will grow sick of _me_.”

“Nope, impossible.” Though Liam grinned down at the younger boy, he actually had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t keep on talking, make it embarrassing or anything by telling Niall exactly just how slim the chances of him ever growing tired of the boy were. 

“Hmmm… we’ll see. Who knows, maybe it turns out I’m not the best company to keep during promo.” Yeah, about that… 

“I’m sure you are, even though… “ Right, of course Liam had to tell Niall something, something besides the _other_ thing and though he was 100% sure that the boy would be excited over the first thing, that was just because he had no idea that it was linked to the second. 

“Even though what? Better not say anything mean now or I’m gonna be real mad, I swear.” He was just joking, not taking this serious at all and Liam couldn’t hold back a breathless laugh, almost thinking about telling Niall later as the blonde kissed him once more. But no, this was no big deal, this wasn’t even what he was _really_ scared of. 

“No, I… that’s not what I meant, just… remember when I told you about all these interviews I have to do and stuff?” No idea why Liam was nervous, licking over his lips that still tasted like Niall while the younger boy’s face underneath him grew slightly confused.

“Uh, of course?” Right, that was the whole purpose of them being here after all. Or at least that’s what Liam had wanted the blonde to think.

“Well, I… I do have a few appointments, but, uh… it’s not nearly gonna take as long as I told you it would.” Originally, they wouldn’t have had a lot of time in between this whole thing and until Liam’s tour would start again, well, they would have, Niall just hadn’t known.

“What do you mean?” The blonde was seemingly getting curious, moving around underneath Liam as if he was about to sit up or something and the brunette quickly decided to just get on with it because he kinda liked them lying there like this. 

“I… I have a surprise for you. Two, actually, I… I probably shouldn’t tell you the second one just yet though because it’s for your birthday, but… “ But maybe Liam was a coward who thought that them making plans for them future would magically cause Niall to return his feelings. “But I don’t know if I can wait that long to tell you and after all you gotta make sure you’re free for a few days and-“

“Wait, Liam, what’re you talking about?” Niall laughed, probably over Liam stumbling over his own words while trying to get it out quick, when in reality, he was just making it sound a whole lot more complicated than it was. Shoot, he should have really kept Niall’s birthday surprise to himself a bit longer, but like… he was gonna get the boy presents too, obviously, and THOSE would be a surprise. Provided… provided they were still talking by then. “Just tell me, what surprises are you talking about, bean?”

“Uh… well, remember when… when we just really started being friends and I told you I was in Las Vegas and you really wanted to go as well and… since you’re turning 21 in a few months, I thought we could go there for your birthday.” Yeah, not that it was too special or anything, but Liam was actually surprised by how wide Niall’s eyes went, as if that was the least thing he had been expecting to happen. Oh.

“WH- are you _serious_?! Liam, you… we don’t have to, I was just… back then, I was just joking, I-“

“But you do wanna go though, right?” Obviously he did, the excitement in his voice wasn’t very hard to ignore and Liam felt his heartbeat slowing down just a bit as he saw the smile spreading on the younger’s face, even though he was clearly trying to suppress it.

“Of course I do, just… you don’t have to spend so much money on me. You’re already spending too much on me anyways.” Well, too bad Liam fucking loved spending money on Niall, just like… just like he always did whenever he was in real relationships. 

“I want to though, and it’s your 21st, it’s special, yeah? We can even take Louis and Harry as well.” But in separate hotel floors, obviously.

“No… if we go there I wanna go with just you.” See? Moments like these, when Liam’s heart stopped for a second because of the look Niall threw at him before slowly pulling the older man back down for a kiss, it was really fucking hard to believe that there was even a reason for them to have a talk about their feelings in the first place. “Jesus… Thank you so much, Liam… now I’m really screwed for _your_ birthday… “

“No, you aren’t, I told you not to get me anything, just…. just be there, that’s enough.” As they pulled apart, Niall only slowly blinked his eyes open, giving the older man a moment to shamelessly stare, his thumb rubbing over the younger’s smooth cheek. Of course Niall wouldn’t think anything of these words, but Liam’s birthday was after when Liam planned on… on telling the blonde, and obviously, he couldn’t even be certain what would have changed by them. Shit, maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all, how would Liam survive not having Niall there anymore in just a few weeks? 

“I’m still gonna get you something though… and it’ll be ace, promise.” He sounded very confident about it and Liam was pretty sure that if he and Niall would still be on good terms until then, that he would absolutely love whatever it was they did on his birthday, even if it didn’t differ in any way from what they did on a daily basis already. “So… what did you mean about not having a lot of interviews to do?”

“Well… “ That was the harder part, definitely, even though… just because Liam told Niall now didn’t mean that they would actually have to have that talk though, right? Like… he could just chicken out again, just like he did all the time. “I do have a lot of things to do, but it won’t last for nearly as long as I told you, but… I thought we could go somewhere else when I’m done, like, before tour starts and everything, thought we could go somewhere warm and… just have some time away, you know? Only if you want to of course, but I thought we could go on vacation, like to… the Bahamas for example.”

“I… _what?_ ” Okay, was that a good or bad shocked face?

“I mean… if you don’t want to, it’s fine, I just…. I just I thought it’d be nice and… “ And also, if Liam talked to Niall while they were away, just the two of them, the blonde couldn’t exactly… run away, right? That had been Louis’ idea actually, and Liam had told him he was crazy, but after a while, the idea had started to suddenly become appealing to him, since there was no way Liam would ever be able to open his mouth otherwise. Sure, he could have waited until Niall’s birthday in Vegas, but… he didn’t really wanna potentially ruin the blonde’s birthday, and also, they would probably get drunk. Provided… provided Liam wasn’t going to ruin everything while they were on vacation. “Niall… ? Are you okay, I… you…. you’re not crying, are you? Did I-“

“No, no, Liam, I… I’m fine, I just… I’ve never, uh… I’ve never been on vacation before and… and I… are you being serious, like? Do you really wanna… go there, with me? It must cost so much and-“

“Nialler, hey… money isn’t really an issue, yeah? I told you, you don’t have to ever worry about that, I really wanna go there, with you, or I wouldn’t have asked. So do you want to? ‘Cos I’d be really happy if you’d say yes… “ More than that, Liam was still nervous about all of this, but he hadn’t really considered Niall getting this emotional or anything, he knew that the boy had never even been out of the UK before they had met, but he genuinely hadn’t thought that Niall would get _this_ happy. Like, yeah, he could possibly ruin that whole trip, but… but there was no guarantee that it would end badly, right? Maybe… maybe it’d end even better than it had started. Or … or maybe Liam would just keep it in, just like he had for months now, and eventually go the fuck insane.

“I really want to, I… I know I should probably try and protest, but… holy shit, the Bahamas, Liam?! Thank you so, _so_ much, Jesus Christ… Harry’s gonna be so jealous.” He let out a breathless chuckle, as if he still couldn’t believe it just yet and Liam felt his stomach warming up, momentarily being able to forget about his whole nervousness as he leaned down to kiss Niall’s forehead, smiling against his skin. 

“’m sure he will be… well, I’m glad to see you so excited, I wasn’t so sure if… if you’d wanna be stuck with me in some place you’ve never been to before.” Then again… wasn’t he all the time?

“Don’t be silly, Li, of course I wanna go, hell, nine-year-old me would have probably peed his pants or something.” His cheeks had gotten all pink and his eyes wide, fingers still in Liam’s hair, a little bit tighter now, probably due to excitement, and Liam absolutely loved this, making Niall happy like this, with things that weren’t really that big of a deal for Liam, was a fucking amazing feeling. Just seeing him smile like that and being excited, it would have caused Liam to do these things all the fucking time had he not known that Niall would have eventually started to complain about the older man spending too much money. 

“And what about twenty-year-old you?” Liam asked with a raised eyebrow, biting back a grin as he waited for Niall’s answer, already feeling his cheeks getting a little bit hotter when he saw the look on the blonde’s face. 

“Twenty-year-old me just wants to snog the hell out of you right now...” A very Niall like thing to say that had been guaranteed to make Liam blush, but he didn’t mind that time, not when they were lying there like this, looking at each other with their faces so close, the blonde having very clear intentions judging by the way his eyes turned a bit darker.

“Well… no one is stopping you… “ The older man half whispered, not really doing anything though but rather waiting for Niall to make a move, in the back of his head vaguely remembering that they’d probably be late if this turned out like Liam somehow hoped it would and he didn’t even fucking care one single bit. 

Niall didn’t reply, he just smirked at the older man before slowly pulling him back down, his eyes flattering closed right before their lips met yet again, the kiss very sweet and gentle at first, the younger’s breath feeling hot against Liam’s skin as he mumbled. “Seriously though… thank you so much, Liam, you… you’re so fuckin’ sweet to me all the time and… and I could never repay you for any of this, I just… ‘m really happy I got you and… not because you’re taking me to all these places, obviously, I just… thank you… “

“It’s okay, Nialler… no need to thank me for anything, I like doing these things for you… doing them _with_ you, and… ‘m very happy I got you too… “ The last part came out really quiet, mostly because Liam could feel his stomach dropping at these words, and his heart bumping incredibly fast, eyes still closed as he tried to not get too into this, easily giving in to the press of Niall’s lips against his.

All of this seemed so easy at times like these, where they could just say these things and then get lost in a kiss, Liam’s worries somehow disappearing into nowhere as he fully moved on top of the younger boy, both of them getting more desperate, the strokes of their tongues getting deeper and stronger, their limps and bodies all tangled up into each other.

Sadly though, it wasn’t easy at all, not for Liam anyways, but for that time he was on his bed snogging the younger boy, with nothing in the back of his head except for wishing that they could have had more time even though they’d have all night, he was almost able to trick himself into thinking that it was. 

 

\-----------------

 

“So, what’s your mum think of Louis?” Niall felt himself smirking as he asked, he was sitting on the window sill, face almost glued to the glass, still not being able to believe that this was the kinda view they had, the city didn’t even seem to be real from up here. Harry had taken Louis home for summer break, well actually, Louis had just come over after the younger boy had invited him and Niall had felt a few pinches of jealousy at first, right before he had remembered that he was literally gonna move in with Liam for the next few weeks. So, who was the winner here really?

“Loves him, of course, what’d you think?” Harry joked on the other end of the phone, quickly talking to someone in the background but the blonde couldn’t hear just one single word, all he knew was that it had probably been about him judging by what the younger boy said next. “She said she’s really glad that I’m not the one dating Liam and dragging a hell lot of paparazzi home with me.”

“She did _not_ say that, Haz, stop lying.” There was no need correcting Harry, telling him they weren’t dating, because Niall had done it about 500 million times, so what was the point really? 

“Fine, but I bet she was thinking it though.” Niall rolled his eyes at this, turning his head to throw a glance at the barely closed bathroom door, just a little bit sad that he wasn’t actually able to see Liam showering from where he was sitting. Then again, he was gonna get to see the older man naked in probably less than an hour anyways. “Maybe you should introduce her to Liam as well though, some day, I mean, so it won’t come out of nowhere when she gets the wedding invitation.”

“I’ll make sure I’ll bring him over before then. But I really intend on staying alive a bit longer and not be strangled to death by my own father.” God, if Niall’s dad ever found out… who knows what he was gonna do. Not give Niall just one single cent anymore, that was for sure, he’d probably accuse the blonde of only being friends with Liam for his money and using him and then he’d probably… shoot him or something. 

“Right, completely forgot about him… maybe a skype call would do then.” He actually sounded a bit guilty now, but Niall wasn’t quite sure and he wasn’t hurt or anything, in his mind, he was actually just trying to find arguments for hanging up right now and joining Liam underneath the shower. Not that he didn’t want to talk to Harry because he did, he had even asked the older man whether he could borrow his phone to call his best friend because Liam had a phone that he specifically only used whenever he was in the US and it had seemed like a good idea. Well, up until Liam had announced he was going to go shower literally two seconds before Harry had picked up the phone. “How’s LA? Not that you’ve never been before… “

“Will you ever let me live this down, Harry? It was just one time.” They were only joking, obviously, because the very first time Niall and Liam had met up on purpose had been… fucking AGES ago, like, it literally felt like another lifetime or something. “And it’s great, I… I’ll send you a postcard.”

“Thank you so much, Ni.” There was a snort at the other end and Niall couldn’t help but laugh at his own joke, briefly having considered the idea for real though. He could always send Harry a postcard from the freaking _Bahamas_ though, which Niall still couldn’t believe Liam was gonna take him to, like… it had come out of nowhere, also the trip for his birthday, which was a while away, but still. Liam was so fucking sweet, doing all of this for Niall, being so thoughtful, it’d be a lie to say that Niall’s heart wasn’t bumping out of beat at just the thought of it. He couldn’t fucking wait to have Liam all to himself, with no chance of anyone ever interrupting, doing something he had never done before, it’d surely be the best few days ever. “I saw the pictures of you guys leaving the airport.”

“Oh god… I was tired, okay? I still am actually… maybe I got a weird illness where I’m always tired even though I’ve slept for like 10 hours.” The pictures were probably really ugly, like, Niall had been trying to somewhat hide behind Liam, in hopes that the older man’s attractiveness would somehow make Niall disappear next to him, but sadly, that seemed to not have worked out that well. Yeah, Liam had claimed that Niall looked just fine, but he always said that, didn’t he?

“It’s called jetlag, Nialler, I think you should know about that by now.” He laughed at the younger boy and Niall finally gave up on waiting for Liam to disappear in the doorframe of the bathroom, he was taking one hell of a shower there. Maybe Niall could still use the time he had left talking to Harry though, like, he had told himself he wouldn’t brag, but… he was just _so_ excited. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever… hey, guess where Liam’s taking me.” Niall just kinda blurted out with it, feeling bad for just a second before deciding that there was no use, pretty sure Louis could have afforded to take Harry on vacation as well, maybe they just didn’t feel like it or something.

“Umm… a chapel in Las Vegas so you guys can get married?” Okay, playing that game with Harry was no fun at all.

“Nope.” There was no need to even get mad, Louis was probably listening to that whole conversation as well, so why would Niall have purposely made a fool out of himself? “It starts with ‘B’.”

“His bed?” Even if Harry had known the answer, he would have still kept guessing around like that and Niall should have known, he had just not wanted to simply throw it into the conversation, but seemed like he had no choice. 

“No, he’s taking me to the fucking Bahamas, Harry, can you believe that?!” It came out a bit louder and more excited than Niall had planned, but just thinking about it again got his stomach all tingly and a grin to form on his face that he couldn’t have suppressed even if he had wanted to. 

“What… really?” The younger boy didn’t same AS surprised as Niall would have thought, but maybe it just didn’t seem to be such a big deal to him or whatever? “Wow, that’s amazing, Nialler. For how long?”

“I know, right?! And I don’t really know actually…” Forever, hopefully. “Wait… did you already know about this? You don’t sound very… surprised.”

“No, where would I have known that from?” Somehow it came out sounding a bit ironic, but Niall quickly decided that he didn’t really care like, Liam had probably told Louis and then the rest wasn’t hard to guess anymore either, why would the older man have kept it a secret after all? “You can definitely write me a postcard from _there_ , that’d be sick. Provided you’ll manage to leave the bed and put clothes on of course, no pressure.”

“We’re not horny teenagers, Haz.” Not Liam at least. 

“That’s not what I was saying, like... I just meant you don’t have to take time out of your honeymoon to buy a postcard for me.” Okay there was definitely someone else laughing in the background along with Harry, so he most definitely had Niall on speaker or something and the blonde suddenly wished he could have punched someone who was thousands of miles away. “No, I’m sorry, I’m just kidding, yeah? I’m really excited for you, Ni, ‘m sure it’ll be the best thing ever. Make sure to wear sunscreen, okay?”

“Sure, _mum_.” Harry probably hadn’t meant to sound like he was making fun of the blonde, it’s just… Liam had already told Niall that they’d have to buy sunscreen for the blonde as well. He wasn’t THAT pale, was he? “Hey, I gotta go… maybe we can talk tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure, just call when you got time, yeah? Have fun with… whatever’s on the plan for tomorrow. Love you, Nialler.” Even though he had just been making fun of the blonde two minutes ago, they were immediately back to this again and maybe that was why they had been best friends since literally forever, because at the end of the day, they genuinely cared. 

“Love you too, bye.” Saying that almost sounded weird out of Niall’s mouth, almost got him thinking for a second after he had hung up the phone and put it back onto Liam’s nightstand, smiling for a second over the lock screen the older man was using, a selfie they had taken a while ago, when they had just been lying in bed, both being very close to falling asleep.

Instead of getting stuck in thoughts though, Niall quickly pulled himself back together, already having half forgotten about his conversation with Harry as he walked over to the bathroom, the noise of the running water already having stopped a minute or two ago.

“Li?” For a second, Niall was almost worried that Liam had left the room without him noticing or something because the shower was empty, but his eyes quickly shifted to where the older man was standing in just a towel around his hips, brushing his teeth as he turned around to look at the younger boy, immediately easing his slightly uneasy heartbeat. “You’re brushing your teeth without me?”

“Sorry.” Liam brought out between the toothbrush still in his mouth, grinning at the blonde after spitting out into the sink, one arm immediately extending towards Niall, silently telling him to get over to him. Well, Niall certainly didn’t have to be told twice. “Just felt really gross, was a long day.”

“Yeah… “ Seeing as they had wasted so much time, neither of them had really gotten to shower or even change clothes before they had had to leave again, so Niall definitely knew where Liam was coming from, not really caring about his own appearance though as he walked over to the older man, wrapping his arms around the brunette’s waist from the side, Liam’s arm immediately settling around the blonde’s shoulders in return. “You smell good.”

“Thanks… you too, babe.” That was probably a lie, but Niall didn’t really care right now, just enjoyed being pressed against Liam’s naked and still slightly damp upper body, almost letting his eyes fall closed as he felt the warmth of the older’s skin warming up his own. “How’re Harry and Louis?”

“Uh, good, I guess. Harry’s mum’s probably offering them food every five seconds, so… did you tell Louis about… our vacation?” Letting go of Liam so the older man could spit out once more, Niall reached for his own toothbrush as he waited for an answer, already knowing it though whenever their eyes met in the mirror and Liam’s cheeks turned a bit red as he shrugged.

“Yeah, I think so… like… a while ago, actually. Why?” A while? Jesus… how long had he had this planned for?!

“’Cos Harry claimed he didn’t already know about it, that bastard, can’t believe he kept it from me.” Thinking about it, maybe Niall actually knew the day his best friend had learned about the whole thing, he had been on the phone with Louis weeks ago and afterwards he had been acting all stupid and mysterious, grinning at the younger boy and almost getting onto his last nerve. Well, at least that secret was discovered.

“Hey, now, I asked Louis to make sure you won’t find out, it was a surprise after all, wasn’t it? And I had it planned for a while so… so I wanted to be the one telling you.” Right, now Niall felt slightly bad as he turned his head to look at Liam, his stomach immediately sinking a bit, even though the older man didn’t even look upset or anything. He rather looked a bit amused to be honest.

“I… I know, sorry, just… I can’t believe Harry has known all along.” That was… slightly upsetting, but it was fine because the whole thing itself definitely made up for all of that, it already got Niall’s stomach turning in excitement to just think about it again. 

“I won’t tell Louis next time, promise.” Liam laughed at the younger’s face before washing out his mouth and putting his toothbrush back, finger’s carding through the blonde’s hair for a moment before he kissed his temple. “I’m gonna go get dressed, think you’ll manage to finish on your own?”

“No, but I can definitely finish while I’m watching.” Niall had almost suggested Liam should just stay naked, but then he had remembered that they still hadn’t eaten and there was no person in this world allowed to see Liam naked except for Niall himself, so… 

All Liam did as an answer was roll his eyes and smirk, but he didn’t say anything that would have kept the blonde from leaning against the doorframe a second later while still brushing his teeth, making sure to give Liam more compliments than he thought he could even think of, very much enjoying the way the older man turned red over them, afterwards immediately coming over to Niall though and tickling him as a punishment, almost causing the blonde to spit a mouth full of toothpaste all over the walls. 

A lot of the time, they showered together obviously, so Niall felt slightly weird doing it on his own later, feeling okay with it though because what Liam had said before was right after all, it had been a long day and he did feel a bit gross himself. Barely drying up his hair, Niall slipped on some sweatpants he had brought to the bathroom before, feeling them riding low on his hips as he went back to the main room, so they probably belonged to Liam. It was hard to tell at this point, when all their stuff was mixed up like that, even more so because Liam had stuffed it all into one bag when he had packed. 

“What’d you wanna eat?” Was the first thing Liam asked as Niall crawled into bed next to him, the telly turned on in the background and the older man half lying near the edge of the mattress, already about to pick up the hotel phone. 

“Hmmm… I want chips.” Niall decided after a second, not really stopping though to lie down in his own space but rather keeping on moving until he had reached Liam, not even thinking twice before straddling the older’s hips, simply sitting down on his stomach, purposely waiting for Liam to have started talking to the hotel staff before moving his fingers up across the older’s chest. 

“Hey, yeah, can I get… “ As Liam told them their order, he was glaring at the younger boy, not being able to do much against it though as Niall kept touching him with a grin on his face, tweaking one of the older’s nipples because he only had one hand free to cover them up, and then when he heard Liam fighting for words, Niall leaned down while biting back a laugh, kissing Liam’s jaw before letting his lips slip down a bit, softly starting to suck on his skin, moving his bum a bit extra much. “Yeah, uh… thanks, bye…. Niall!”

“What?” The blonde asked against Liam’s neck, not having had enough time to create a mark or anything before Liam had already slammed down the phone, making the younger boy laugh ridiculously much when he grabbed his hips, using his strength against Niall as he simply flipped them around, one of his hands big enough to capture both of Niall’s wrists above the younger’s head. Perfect, this was exactly what Niall had been hoping to turn this situation into. “You asked what I wanted to eat and I thought I’d show you what I wanted for dessert.”

“That… was pretty smooth.” For a second, Liam almost seemed impressed, but then he shook his head once, the look on his face not even barely as pissed off as he probably wanted it to be like and there was a smirk on his lips that kinda screwed the whole act up anyways. “Anyways, that’s no excuse, Nialler.”

“Why not? You liked it.” It was obvious that he had because their crotches were pressed together and it was kinda really obvious that Niall wasn’t the only one who was half hard. Not that it was that much of a surprise, they hadn’t really gotten very far right after they had gotten to the hotel and then they had been stuck in the car for hours with Paddy right beside them and _then_ Liam had had an interview that seemed to have taken ages and even though Niall’s belly had done more than one flip when the older man had gotten a question about the blonde and had answered it in the sweetest way possible, they had both been looking forward to this right here. 

“Yeah? You think so?” Liam’s words sounded a bit sarcastic and Niall couldn’t help but chuckle again, at the same time starting to feel hot even though he was barely wearing anything, but having Liam’s weight pressing him into the mattress like this, not being able to use his hands because of how tight the older’s grip was and having his face right there above him wasn’t something he would ever grow immune to. Shit, maybe what Harry had said before wasn’t so unlikely, maybe they really wouldn’t manage to get out of bed the whole time they were on vacation, like… normally they could only see each other on weekends or Liam had a lot of things to do, but they’d literally be all alone and far away, so how would they ever manage to do stuff that didn’t involve getting naked? “Then I’m sure you’re gonna like this a lot too.”

“What d-“ 

Instead of leaning down that tiny bit further to kiss him like Niall had hoped, the older man actually sat up a bit straighter and before the blonde could even finish his question, he already felt Liam’s fingers poking into his sides and tickling him, causing his words to get lost in laughter instead as he tried to free himself, being unable to do anything against the older’s strength though. Maybe he shouldn’t have slept when he had gone to the gym with Liam. “What are you saying, Ni? I can’t really hear you, babe.”

Niall didn’t bring out just one clear word in between laughter, eventually causing Liam to join in as well, not stopping though until the blonde was breathing heavily underneath him, his wrists burning a bit by now because of how desperately he had been trying to get them out of Liam’s grip. Not that he didn’t like it though, it took him back to a time when they had been doing this exact thing in a hotel room, months ago, when Liam had first figured out that the whole situation of it had gotten the blonde hard and turned on and just thinking back to this caused Niall’s body to have much the same reaction. Judging by Liam’s triumphant grin, he was probably having the exact same thought. “Get off me, you’re too heavy.”

“Too heavy, huh? So who was that last night begging me to hold him down a bit more?” Right, if Liam kept on bringing up more of their sex stories then he would have to get off of Niall for real or the boy might embarrass himself. “Look at you… you’re all flushed, Nialler.”

“I’m not.” Niall huffed, though it was probably true but he rolled his eyes anyways, his arms aching just slightly as Liam released his wrists, a proud smile on his lips that Niall would have found cute had he not been trying to act mad. In reality, he fucking _loved_ this. “Anyways, it’s not very nice of you to-“

The blonde never got to finish, and though he was slightly surprised by Liam’s lips covering his in the middle of the sentence, he didn’t need to think twice before immediately wrapping his arms around the older’s neck and forgiving him, his already open mouth giving Liam easy access and though the older man pulled away just slightly a few seconds later to mumble a ‘Sorry’ against Niall’s mouth, the younger boy wasn’t even quite sure anymore what he was even apologizing for.

They both knew that they couldn’t really do anything until their food had gotten here, but it didn’t keep them from throwing in a snogging session to warm up a bit, in the end almost missing the knock on the door, both their faces flushed and their lips all red and swollen, but Niall couldn’t have thought of anything he loved more than this. Nothing in this world could ever have made him feel as amazing as knowing that he had weeks of being with Liam ahead of him, of them being stuck together for a longer time than they had ever had before.

Niall was pretty sure that there was absolutely _nothing_ that could have ruined this for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy guys, things are finally moving on a bit lmao, i think the next few chapters will be very intersting so i hope youre all ready for this to come to an end and that you'll enjoy the last few chapters, thank you so much for sticking around! :)


	22. Chapter 22

Eight days. 

That’s how much time Liam had to grow some fucking balls and spit out the truth for once. Eight days before he could either completely ruin _everything_ or make it even better than it already was. Then again, maybe there was a third option, maybe Niall wouldn’t even care, maybe he’d come to the conclusion that it didn’t matter whatever Liam felt for him, maybe… maybe nothing would change at all? At this point, Liam wasn’t quite sure what would be scarier, losing Niall, or finding out that there was absolutely no chance for them to ever be together for real, no way to keep the blonde from ending this any time he pleased. 

So basically, it almost felt like the last eight days of Liam’s life or something, that’s how nervous he was.

Obviously, he didn’t say anything the day they arrived at the Bahamas, they were tired and it would have been stupid to ruin everything the second they got there. Also, Niall was so excited about everything that Liam had no time to even worry for as much as he would have thought he would, happiness filling his stomach whenever he saw the younger’s face, his smile, the way his eyes went wide as he took in his surroundings. Okay, Liam was definitely not going to say something for a while... he had _eight_ days, he might as well wait until… a while at least.

The first day, they didn’t do much, mostly because they were tired as hell, having stayed up the whole night before because of how early the flight had been [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/6900593faa3f24e3aae999e89b4486b2/tumblr_inline_o32yteA7ue1rggmxj_500.jpg). Niall did go into the water for a while though, coming out dripping wet and laughing when he wrapped his body all over Liam’s, getting him equally as wet but not really trying to get the blonde to let him go, since he seemed to be having so much fun and all. They fell asleep early that night, not really up for doing anything, but it was fine because Niall let Liam wrap his arm tightly across his waist, pulling him back snugly against his chest and they somehow passed out in the middle of the conversation.

Waking up though, they were not only in a different position, but Liam could hear some chuckling next to him as he attempted to somehow blink his eyes open, rubbing over them once before trying to understand what was going on. “Ni… what’re you… doing?”

“Nothing.” The blonde chuckled again, his voice still sounding raspy and deep from sleep, taking yet another picture on his phone that he was holding while Liam sleepily looked at him, not quite sure what the purpose of this was but he didn’t care that much either way. It’s not like they had never taken pictures of each other before. 

“Are you posting this, Nialler… ?” Liam wasn’t sure whether the younger boy could hear him very well, he just kept on typing on his phone for a bit so the question seemed somewhat unnecessary and Liam found himself smiling for a moment. All that really mattered to him was Niall being happy and having fun, and judging by the grin on his face, he definitely was. “Better put a good caption, babe…”

“Oh, I did… look.” Niall pressed himself closer into Liam underneath the blanket before turning the screen of his phone towards him, hurting the older’s eyes momentarily before he was able to see the picture and read what was written underneath, his heart skipping a few beats. [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/fd401099a1c71003b797f1e29e7632a4/tumblr_inline_o32ysveu6p1rggmxj_500.jpg)

“Aww, Ni, c’mon, don’t make me blush.” He had called Liam _cute_ , and yeah maybe he was just doing it for the fun of it, but Liam felt his stomach growing warmer either ways, especially because Niall seemed to be so proud of it, his body curving into Liam’s as the older man tightened his arm, wanting him closer. 

“You’re always blushing though.” That was true, Niall let out a small laugh, locking his phone before dropping it in between them and unexpectedly leaning down to kiss the older’s lips, causing him to blush even more. Not that he minded right now, Niall could make him blush all he wanted with things like this, when he was being so incredibly sweet and cuddling close. “I like it… “

“Thanks, Ni… think it’s my turn though.” Their lips were still brushing, Liam pecked the blonde’s one more time before half turning around, hand searching for his phone momentarily before he turned back around to Niall having pulled the blanket up even higher, almost covering his whole face. “What’re you doing, love?”

“Nothing, I look like shit in the mornings and compared to you… if you take a picture you can only do it like this.” It almost sounded like a joke, but seeing as he was holding onto the blanket so tightly when Liam laughed and tried to pull it back, he apparently seemed to mean it. “Go on, then.”

“You don’t look like shit at all, Nialler.” Why would he even think that to begin with? Liam suppressed a sigh though he did take the picture, for a moment wanting to say something but then deciding to hold back as he felt his ears getting hot, instead posting it and showing it to Niall afterwards for approval. “See?” [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/d61f8a9f345f533b7fbae215b15ba3ae/tumblr_inline_o32ys14h881rggmxj_500.jpg)

“’cos it’s only half my face.” The blonde laughed, finally pulling back the blanket though as soon as Liam had rolled his eyes and put his phone away, knowing that there was nothing he could have said to change the boy’s mind anyways. He tried all the time, whenever Niall said stuff like this, but in the end, the blonde would just laugh it off anyways, plus also, his mood seemed to be way too good as to get into a serious conversation now. “What’re we gonna do today?”

“Whatever you wanna do, Nialler.” They’d probably end up back in the water and Liam didn’t mind it, he wouldn’t have minded had they sat on the balcony they had all day long and just talked, taken all of this in, just using the time they had together, all alone, without anybody being able to interrupt. “We can… get some breakfast, because I’m kinda hungry and then… we’ll see, okay? You can also go swim with sharks if you want to.”

“No, thanks. But if you want to do it then I’ll watch and pray for you.” Right, Niall probably wouldn’t feel comfortable doing stuff like this, not that Liam would have wanted to do it himself, but he felt a bit stupid for suggesting it and forgetting about Niall’s claustrophobia, the way he most likely would have freaked out not being in control of what was going to happen. “Or we could also… stay alive a little bit longer and you finally come for a swim with me.”

“I will, I was just really tired yesterday.” Pouting a bit, Liam had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t start grinning as Niall softly pushed him back onto his back with one hand before leaning over him, a smile playing around his lips as his face was only inches away from the older man’s. “And it was really cold too.”

“It was actually not cold at all, Liam, you were just scared I would make you look bad with my perfect swimming skills.” Obviously, that had been it, of course, Liam just rolled his eyes at Niall, loving the way the younger boy seemed to have so much fun with this, his hand suddenly in Liam’s hair, just brushing through. “I’ll forgive you though…. since you brought me here. This is so fucking amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it so much, Ni… I’d take you to a ton of other places too if you’d allow me to pay for you.” Oh, there were hundreds of places Liam would have taken Niall to, but he knew the boy would have never allowed him that, he was already shaking his head now, even though he was still smiling. It wasn’t like the older man didn’t understand where Niall was coming from, because he did, it’s just, sometimes this was hard to get into Liam’s head, because he would have given Niall the world if the younger boy would have just let him. 

“I’m really good with this here right now though… we’ll see about the other stuff.” That meant no, but Liam had no time to reply because Niall was suddenly kissing him, warm and gentle, half his body pressing into Liam’s and the older man immediately found himself getting lost in it, hand gripping onto the younger’s waist before slowly rubbing up and down his soft skin, goosebumps rising on his skin from the quiet sounds Niall made deep in his throat.

Liam could definitely push this back a little further, that conversation he dreaded so much, he already had everything, why did he have to be so greedy?

 

\----------------

 

“You know, uh… my dad called me, two days ago, when you were getting ready for your last interview.” Niall almost interrupted the silence a little bit, both of them just having admired their surroundings a little bit, barely any other people on the beach they were walking on, hand in hand, Niall’s feet mostly being in the water, splashing it around a bit.

“What’d he say?” Liam had immediately felt his stomach turning a little bit at that, throwing a glance at the side of Niall’s face. Hopefully he would have come talk to Liam sooner if it had been something really bad.

“Not much… “ The younger boy shrugged, watching their feet rather than returning Liam’s look, almost as if he was avoiding it on purpose. “Just the usual. That I’m lazy and that my grades are shit and that… that he’s gonna kill me if I don’t find another job soon.”

“Niall, I-“

“No, don’t say it, I… he’s right, I do gotta find a job, I was just… not doing it because… because I wanted to see you on the weekends, but I’ll find one for during the week, like… maybe my schedule is better next semester. I just… I don’t know why I just thought of this, I just… I didn’t wanna tell you, but… “ Then he shrugged again and Liam felt his heart sinking a bit as he squeezed Niall’s hand, hesitating for a moment before leaning over to press a kiss into the blonde’s damp hair.

“You can tell me anything, Nialler… look, I know you don’t want me to say it, but I will, just so you can think about it again.” There was no way Liam wouldn’t feel like absolute shit if he didn’t, he knew Niall would refuse, but that didn’t mean that the older man would stop trying. “You could tell your dad he doesn’t need to pay for college or your dorm anymore, tell him whatever, and I’ll give you the money and-“

“Liam, no-“

“AND, you can still find a job if you want one. It’d be the same thing as with your dad, only that I won’t call you once a month to yell at you about it. I’d even let you pay me back… one day, maybe, if you desperately want to.” No way would Liam have accepted that, but that was still far in the future anyways. “I know you don’t like the idea, I just… I don’t understand why you’d rather have him making you feel bad.”

“Because… “ Niall started but then stopped, still not having looked up just yet and splashing the water a bit more as they kept on walking, slowly, the sun hot but not to an uncomfortable extend where Liam would have yet again grabbed Niall to put more sunscreen onto his skin. He already had done it three times today and they had only been out for a few hours.

“Because why?” Maybe Liam shouldn’t have kept on pushing, but this really bugged him, he wanted to help so badly and yet he wasn’t allowed to and that concept was kinda hard for the older man to grasp. 

“Because I don’t want our… friendship to be built on this. I know it’s not, but… I’d feel bad, I already feel bad because you’re paying for all my train tickets, and for all of this, and… yeah, my dad’s a dick but he’s just lending me the money, I’m gonna give it back to him, but… I don’t know… I don’t want you to think that… that I just told you this so you’d offer it again, because I didn’t, I just… I wanted to tell you.” Niall was obviously struggling for words and the brunette man started to feel even worse, how could Niall ever think that Liam would think that of him, no, he _wanted_ Niall to come talk to him, about whatever it was that bothered him.

“Ni, I didn’t even think of that for a single second. I know you’re not agreeing to it anyways, I was just putting it out there, if you do ever change your mind, alright? And you wouldn’t have to feel bad about it, not at all, I’d love to help you… if you’d let me.” Okay, Liam wasn’t trying to make Niall feel guilty, but… if it’d bring him to his goal… “But I understand what you’re saying, I really do. And if you do find a new job during the week and it all works out them I’m happy for you, I just… don’t want you to get stressed out or anything.”

“I won’t… I had a job before, it’ll be fine, I’m sure it will be. But thank you, still… I know you would do it, and probably a lot more and… just knowing that you would really helps me a lot already.” Finally, Niall turned his head to look at Liam, a small smile playing around his lips that didn’t really calm the older man down as much as he would have liked. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay, Nialler… you know I’d do pretty much anything for you, right? And that you’d never have to feel guilty or whatever for letting me?” Literally _anything_ , Liam wasn’t quite sure if Niall really did know that, but judging by the look on his face, he was at least thinking about it. “You know… if you’d ever, I don’t know… want me to talk to your dad and-“

“No, no way. It’s okay, Liam, it’s not like… not like I’m not used to him saying these things, it doesn’t hurt me or anything, we don’t get along and just because he’s my dad doesn’t mean I have to like him, I just… it’s fine, really. I’d never want you to talk to him, there’s no use anyways, he’d just scream around and you don’t have to go through that, it’s pointless. Anyways… I really appreciate it though, I… I know you’re always there for me and… you always listen to me and you try to help and… well, Harry’s my best friend, but… it’s kinda… different between you and me and… I really like that.” Was that… a hint?

“Niall, I… “ The words literally got stuck in Liam’s throat as he just stared at the younger boy, not knowing how or what to say, not knowing whether this was the worst time ever or a good moment since they had stopped walking, he hadn’t planned out what to say, or how, but for some reason, he was seconds from doing it. “Ni-“

Or maybe not. 

There was a change in Niall’s face, after what he had said, his smile having faded and though his nose and the skin underneath his eyes had already been a bit red from the sun, the color suddenly seemed to spread to his cheeks as well as they looked at each other during that moment of silence and obviously, Niall would have done _anything_ to get himself out of that situation. He was clearly embarrassed about what he had said, there was no way he could have known what Liam had been about to start with, and he never found out either, because in the split of a second he had thrown the towel he had been carrying onto the sand, pulled his hand out of Liam’s, and was taking off into the water with the words “Catch me if you can, Payno!”, voice cheerful, as if nothing had even happened.

The only thing that escaped Liam was a deep sigh, a little bit of relief as well though that he kinda hated, but instead of calling out what he should have, namely being ‘I fucking love you’, he dropped his own towel and the sun screen before going after Niall, not only feeling bad now because of the thing with Niall’s dad that clearly bothered the blonde, but also because he might have wasted his fucking chance.

Shit.

 

\--------------------

 

“Come on, Li, you don’t have to put on any more, I won’t burn up, I’ve lasted two whole days without fainting from a heat stroke like you thought I would.” Though the blonde was complaining, he didn’t move away as Liam kept applying more sunscreen to his back, though he was being quite antsy the whole time, wanting to go into the water, and it would have made the older man laugh had he not been trying to stay serious. Sometimes this really was like dealing with a toddler for a bit. “Can we go now?”

“No? Turn around.” There was a huff and Liam allowed himself to smile for the split of a second, as much time as it took for Niall to actually turn around, a very annoyed expression on his face that didn’t discourage the older man at all though. “Your face is really red. And your chest-“

“I’m just fine. It’s ‘cos I’m Irish, it’ll all change color at night, you’ll see.” He sounded very confident, but Liam didn’t trust any of his words, taking the snapback off his own head and instead placing it on the younger’s, as if that would have helped him now that he was already clearly sunburned, the brown roots of his hair having gotten a whole bunch lighter as well. They still had 5 days, what if Niall really would suffer from a heat stroke?! 

“You’re not a chameleon, Niall, if anything changes it’ll be you being in pain and not being able to wear a shirt anymore.” Not that Liam would have minded that, but the only times they ever wore more than swimming shorts were whenever they went for breakfast or didn’t get room service at night, so maybe Niall wouldn’t have really felt it that much, but Liam was just trying to make sure. Especially after he had sent Louis a selfie of them and all his best friend had replied had been ‘Who’s the lobster next to you’. So yeah. 

“So? I haven’t worn a shirt in three days.” The blonde did close his eyes though, allowing the older man to apply more than enough sunscreen to his face as well, not really rubbing it in that well because there were literally two other people on the beach and they were too far away as to even hear them talk. Niall would have gotten mad had he known he was running around with his face being half white and half red, but luckily, he didn’t. “My nose itches, I-“

“No, it doesn’t. You need to hold still.” Liam caught the younger’s hand in the movement, almost being able to hear the protest out of the blonde’s mouth so he quickly kissed him instead, very carefully so he wouldn’t get the sunscreen onto his own face, promptly causing Niall to hold back whatever he had been about to say. “Okay, I think that’ll do… or wait, pull down your shorts a bit.”

“What? Liam, there are people over there.” Niall tried to sound shocked, but in reality, Liam knew that he probably would have still played along. Provided that would have been what the older man would have planned, which it hadn’t, because hell knows Liam would have not only been strictly against doing anything in public, but also, he would have been way too scared Niall would get a sunburn on his bum as well. Or elsewhere.

“Not that far, just a bit, the way they slip down whenever you move or you’re gonna get a sunburn there as well.” For a moment, Niall seemed pretty disappointed, but he did whatever he had been asked to do, just sighing while he let Liam manhandle him, turning around whenever the brunette told him to, clearly not hating this as much as he tried to make Liam believe. 

“You know I could do this by myself too.” Niall started again after a while, just watching while Liam did his arms too, for the second time today.

“Yeah, we’ve seen that yesterday.” Yesterday Niall had thought it’d be cool to leave out certain parts and rather write things on his own body with the sunscreen while Liam had watched with his mouth hanging open, being explained that ‘Imagine how cool, if only that part of my body stays pale, it’d be like a temporary tattoo’. “Look, I just wanna make sure you don’t get hurt, yeah? A sunburn really hurts, you probably know that, and it’s really unhealthy too. Plus you’re already really red and maybe you can’t feel it now but you probably will once we get back to the hotel. I’m just doing this because I love you.”

For a moment, Liam just kept going, not having realized what he had just said, because it had simply slipped out like that, with honestly no intentions at all because after he had wasted his chance the day before yesterday, he hadn’t really tried again or even thought about what he would have said had he gotten another one. But it surely shouldn’t have been like this.

As soon as it really sunk in, Liam felt his stomach twisting into knots, forcing himself to keep going though, as if nothing had even happened, desperately trying to come up with something to change the topic with, not daring to even look up into Niall’s face, or trying to overanalyze the short silence between them. He just needed to act like he hadn’t meant it like that, like he had meant it in a way like something he would say to any of his friends, though he probably wouldn’t have, but the blonde didn’t need to know that though, did he?

To Liam’s surprise though, right as he was about to make some stupid suggestion about what they could do tomorrow, Niall’s voice sounded quite normal, though it had gotten a bit quieter, yet also a lot softer, not at all as if he was mad or weirded out by the older’s words. “I know… sorry for complaining so much.”

“I… it’s alright, Nialler. Think we’re done now, anyways.” Actually, they probably had been done a while ago already, but Liam had wanted to make sure. Now though, his cheeks were gotten hotter but there was also relief spreading inside of him as he looked up briefly, meeting Niall’s eyes, seeing the smile on his lips. Was it good though, that Liam had just randomly popped the L word and the blonde had immediately understood it on a friendship basis? “You wanna go into the water now?”

“Yeah. Unless you need me to put sunscreen on you as well.” It was obviously a joke, because not only had Liam already done that before, but also… his skin wasn’t quite as affected as Niall’s seemed to be. “Just kidding. Thank you though… “

“You’re welcome, babe… “ Liam might have sounded slightly breathless as Niall unexpectedly kissed his cheek, probably getting him a little bit white as well, but the older man really didn’t care at that moment, comfortably squeezing the younger’s hand afterwards, only feeling a little bit embarrassed still as they smiled at each other.

And yet again, the older man hadn’t had the guts to say what it really was that he so desperately wanted to get out and yet at the same time was way too nervous as to even imagine the consequences of.

How in god’s name was he ever gonna do this?

 

\--------------

 

The next two days, they basically did the same things they had until now and it was just as good as it had been along. Again, Liam didn’t really get a chance to bring up the topic and honestly, he was just trying to avoid it at this point, occasionally even managing to forget about it for a while since they had so much fun anyways and were constantly talking about something else.

One time, Liam tried to talk about the thing with Niall’s dad again, but the blonde looked pretty honest when he told him that he would be fine and that he really appreciated Liam caring this much but that he already felt better now that he had even told the older man at all. So they moved on from it, talking about lighter stuff again and looking around the outside area of the hotel a bit [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/1a4c3a5471503aa23b9a81ece8759ad4/tumblr_inline_o32ysaZHl21rggmxj_500.jpg), using the pool for a while as well since they hadn’t really done that before [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/02ac1df26d03c67a295a5a13d92501de/tumblr_inline_o32yt3CN671rggmxj_500.jpg), and by the end of their fifth day, Liam’s problems had kinda shifted to different things.

“My back hurts.” Niall finally admitted once they had gotten back to the hotel room, both of them tired from the sun and from eating dinner, and Liam couldn’t help but let out a sigh because it’s not like he hadn’t already known anyways. 

“Anything else?” Was all Liam asked, holding back the ‘I told you’ because the damage was already done and he did feel bad for the boy, he just wished that Niall would have listened to him when he had told him that it was impossible to grow immune to the sun within a few days where Liam had basically drenched him in sunscreen. 

“I don’t know… maybe my arms a bit… and my nose, but only if I touch it.” The blonde had taken off his shirt the moment they had entered the elevator, claiming he had been hot, and well, Liam didn’t doubt that when he had seen how red the blonde’s skin was, biting his tongue though and waiting for the boy to say something instead. 

“Okay… then don’t touch it. Go lie on the bed, yeah? On your stomach.” Though Liam had been trying his hardest to prevent this from happening, of course he had also planned ahead in case it would still happen, which, knowing Niall, hadn’t been that unlikely at all. 

“Why?” Still twisting his body in front of the mirror to try and get a look at his back, Liam felt Niall’s stare as he went to search through his bag, in his mind already creating the worst scenarios, like Niall’s sunburn being even worse tomorrow, or like, him starting to feel really bad or something, you never knew after all. “Do you wanna continue where we fell asleep last night?”

“Later, think you’ll feel a lot better then. Lie down, c’mon.” Waiting for the younger boy to get onto the bed, pushing the blankets to the floor in the process and bedding his head on his arm so he could still watch Liam, the older man got onto the mattress as well, in his hand now having the after sun lotion he had packed just for this purpose. 

“What’s that?” Niall’s voice was a little bit muffled by his own skin as he tried to keep looking at Liam while the older man straddled the younger’s legs, not sitting down on his bum though even though it would have been easier but rather pulling down Niall’s shorts a bit more, immediately causing the younger boy to hiss in pain.

“Sorry, babe… it’s just some after sun lotion, it’ll feel good.” The blonde’s back actually looked really terrible in this light, but Liam tried not to think about it as he sat back on Niall’s legs, giving the boy a warning before squeezing some of the inside of the tube onto his skin, feeling the younger boy tense up underneath him for a second, just so he could relax a moment later when Liam started to spread it as gently as he could. “Alright?”

“Yeah… feels really good, Li… thank you.” His words almost only came out in a sigh, making it very obvious that he was indeed enjoying this very much and though Liam knew he should have maybe commented on this situation, he held back instead, just kept on moving his hands over the younger’s red back, making sure not to miss any spots. “’m sorry… “

“It’s okay, Nialler, it’s not your fault anyways.” How could it be, when he had never even been at a place this warm before, Niall had probably never been in danger of getting sunburned so badly before. Another reason why Liam was the one who was to blame and why he so desperately wanted to make sure the blonde was in as little pain as possible. “Tell me if I’m hurting you, yeah?”

“You’re not, it’s feeling much better already...” He almost sounded a bit sleepy now, eyes closed as Liam looked up briefly to still see the blonde’s head bedded on his arm, allowing himself to smile for a moment. At least that sunburn wouldn’t keep the blonde up all night. “What’re we gonna do tomorrow?”

“Stay out of the sun if this doesn’t get better overnight… but we’ll see, okay?” Really, Liam didn’t wanna risk it getting any worse and though he knew Niall would have probably not cared one bit and just ignored the fact that his skin was all burned, the older man would still step in if he thought that it’d be for the better. 

“’m already sunburned though… what else could happen?” A whole ton of shit that Liam didn’t even want to think about, who would have thought that he could get even more protective over the blonde than he had already been all along? “Can you maybe put on a bit more, please?”

“Sure… we can do your arms as well afterwards, okay?” And the whole rest of his body actually, but for now Liam was just relieved that he hadn’t hurt the boy as he squeezed more of the lotion onto his back, happy to do anything at all in order to make him feel better.

“Okay… thank you… “ His voice was definitely going quiet and Liam didn’t mind it, he knew Niall was probably exhausted because the older man was as well, but it felt good though, doing stuff together all day long, neither of them even bothering to take their phones with them, just enjoying each other’s company with no one ever interrupting them. 

They turned silent for a bit while Liam just kept rubbing Niall’s back, half massaging him but trying not to press down too hard, even after he had long put the lotion onto every inch of the boy’s skin he could reach because it was obvious that it relaxed the blonde. And god knows Liam would have done anything to make Niall feel good.

For a few minutes, the older man wasn’t really thinking of much at all, just that he felt really blessed that he was here right now, with Niall, that they could go on a vacation like this, that they were having such a good time here, just the two of them together. But eventually, his thoughts started to drift off, away from all the things they had been doing the past few days, the nights they had shared here that Liam wouldn’t ever forget. Eventually, the one thing he was trying to avoid crept its way back into his head.

Now would have been the perfect time, Liam suddenly realized, he was literally on top of Niall, keeping him down, they had had a really good day today except for the sunburn fiasco, they were both in a good mood and it was quiet, the blonde was all relaxed and loose from Liam’s touch. It was already the fifth day, if Liam didn’t do it now, when would he?

“Hey, Nialler… “ His heart was bumping fast as he spoke up, not being able to believe that he was actually going to do it now, for real, without Niall being able to run off into the water or taking it in the wrong way, because Liam would make sure that he wouldn’t, not this time. 

“Hm?” Was all the blonde made, it sounded very sleepy yet again and Liam suddenly felt a rush of confidence that hopefully wasn’t misplaced. But he had to do it at some point, so why not now?

“You know, I…. there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about and… I’ve been trying to think about how for the past few days, but… it never really seemed to be the right moment and… just please, let me finish before… before you say anything, okay? Like… maybe I’m stressing out too much over this, I just… I just finally gotta get it out before I literally go insane.” Liam let out a breath, getting a bit tense as he tried to keep the strokes over Niall’s body smooth, somehow not wanting to stop because he was afraid it would have caused the blonde to sit up and look at him. 

Niall didn’t answer, obviously agreeing to not asking any questions in between or interrupting just like Liam had asked him to. Still, the brunette man would have killed to be able to read the younger’s thoughts right now.

When he continued, it wasn’t any easier than before, Liam still hadn’t planned what to say exactly and by now he had come to the conclusion that it didn’t matter. However he said it wouldn’t change the way Niall reacted anyways, whether he stuttered or spoke confidently, he just finally needed to actually say it. “So you know… a while back… months, actually? When my mum was there and… the day she left, in the morning, or afternoon actually, I… I had a talk with her about something… and I’ve been thinking about this way before as well, I just… I never really wanted to, like… never wanted to admit it to myself, you know? It’s like… I know we’ve been laughing, about whatever Louis and Harry were saying about us, that… that the only thing fake about our relationship was the part where we said we were just pretending and… well, you know how I am, um… that I’m… well, we were never really… lacking of physical contact, I guess, not even when we were alone so I guess I know where the others are coming from and I… I’ve been thinking about this and… about the way that… that I’m always wishing you could stay longer than just the weekends and… and the way it feels weird to… go to bed without you and I know that… that it maybe sounds weird, but I just… I’ve had… _months_ to think about this and I just… just wanted to, uh… tell you something.”

All Liam was met with was silence, for which he was actually glad, he had stopped rubbing Niall’s back somewhere in the middle of his ramble, just staring at the wall now while his hands were resting uselessly against the boy’s skin, closing his eyes as he tried to get himself together. This was it, he HAD to say it, he couldn’t talk himself out of it anymore, it had to be now.

“Niall, I… I think that… no, I… I _know_ that… that even though I’ve been trying to deny it and even though I know that… that we made a deal before all of this started, but I… I didn’t plan for this to happen and I… I’ve had like… way too many sleepless nights over this, but I just… fuck, I love you, Niall. I mean… not like a friend, not even like… like a crush or whatever, I… I’m _in_ love with you, Nialler. For a while now, no, actually since fucking _months_ and… and please don’t freak out I just… I had to tell you.” Oh god.

Liam was literally holding his breath with his eyes closed, not knowing what to do or what to expect, all he knew was that he was going to suffer from a heart attack any second. He had just told Niall that he LOVED him, like genuinely loved him and… shit, should he have said more? Should he have said it differently? What if it wasn’t good enough?!

“… Niall?” The older man tried carefully when there came no answer, not even any movement, it was like Niall hadn’t even been listening. Oh god, Liam had blown it, he had ruined it, everything, he was gonna go and book them flights back to London right now, in different planes because Niall surely hated him and they’d never see each other again afterwards and Liam would be left with a broken heart, unable to ever forget about the blonde and shit, why had he ever even said something, why couldn’t he have just been happy with what he had and… wait. Had that been a _snore_?!

Almost immediately, Liam’s eyes flew open at that sound, heart about to jump up his throat as he stared down at the younger boy, who he was still sitting on, and instead of being met by a glare or… or by a hand smacking him across the face, all he saw was the younger boy with closed eyes and a relaxed facial expression, his mouth a bit open as it was smushed against his own arm, sleeping soundly.

“Nialler?” Liam tried again because he couldn’t fucking believe this?! Had Niall just… slept through all of this? Through every single fucking word he had said? Had the boy even still been awake before Liam had decided to go through with this?! Probably not, now that he thought about it with his mouth dumbly hanging open, just staring down at Niall, not being able to believe the tough luck he had.

Was this a sign or something? That Liam shouldn’t tell him since every fucking chance he got would somehow get ruined and then one time it didn’t and Niall slept through it?! Slept through Liam’s love confession to him and his, not very well thought through, speech? This was crazy, like some bad fucking movie and the brunette man didn’t even know what to do anymore now, just kept on sitting there for a while, not moving.

There was a strange feeling of relief as Liam realized that he hadn’t messed it up just yet, but the feelings of annoyance with himself overweighed the other part, almost causing him to get up and go punch the wall or something, just to let it out. God, why hadn’t he checked whether Niall had been awake? It had been obvious he had been tired all along and now… now Liam had wasted all his courage and his heart was still beating so fast that he was slightly getting worried whether it’d ever calm down again. How in God’s name was he gonna do this a second fucking time?!

The older man didn’t find an answer to that, he literally had no idea where to go from here, so he got off of the younger boy after remaining on top of him for way too long, going to the bathroom first in order to wash his hands from the lotion, purposely avoiding the mirror. There were tears building up in his eyes that he didn’t want to see, because feeling them there made him feel stupid enough already. Not that he had a reason to cry, it was his own fault and anyways, nothing would happen as a consequence, maybe…. maybe he could see it as some sort of practice? Or maybe he could just hate himself for being a fucking idiot.

After Liam had changed, very slowly and still deep in thoughts, he somehow managed to pull down Niall’s shorts for him and get some of the lotion onto his quite red nose as well without waking him, only hearing the blonde grumble a bit in his sleep and he felt even more stupid now than before. He knew how deep of a sleeper the younger boy was, how could this have happened?!

Since it was so hot in the room, Liam made sure to open the window wide after turning off the lights, still making sure to cover at least their legs before lying down next to younger boy, on his side so he could keep looking at Niall in the now half dark room, thoughts going crazy. What was he supposed to do now? Try again tomorrow? Just keep on trying and hoping that one day he’d _finally_ get to tell Niall for real? When he was so scared of it that he almost felt like throwing up now?

Rubbing his hands over his face, Liam turned onto his back for a while, just listening to Niall’s breathing next to him, feeling the way the younger’s foot would occasionally bump into Liam’s, the warmth radiating from his almost naked body getting Liam even hotter than he had already been before.

He didn’t come up with a solution that night, not even after considering to text Louis or his mum and ask for help, because he knew what they would have said and Liam had to do this on his own, there was no one there who could have done this for him, who could have made this any better or guarantee that it would end well. What had he gotten himself into? Not that he’d ever regret what had happened between them, none of it, Liam didn’t even want to imagine not knowing Niall anymore, but what had been the chances of him ending up in a situation like this? Him out of everyone.

It felt like hours until Liam felt even remotely tired and as if his mind might stop bugging him enough so he’d be able to try and go to sleep. When it did though, at least Liam didn’t have to hesitate as he leaned over in order to kiss Niall’s warm cheek, softly, intertwining their fingers between them before whispering those words against the younger’s skin that he had had to hold back so many times, for once not afraid to actually say them. “Good night, baby… I love you so much… more than you’ll probably ever know… “

 

\------------------

 

“Liam… _fuck_ … “ Niall’s breathing was heavy, his voice still raspy with sleep but the moan he let out was anything but quiet, sending goosebumps all over Liam’s body, blood filling his already half hard cock just from the sounds the younger boy was making. “Shit… aaah… Li… p-please… more…”

Due to the fact that Niall’s back was still red and though he claimed it didn’t hurt anymore, Liam had quickly had other ideas when they had woken up, neither of them being able to sleep for very long since it was so hot, and within minutes, they had ended up snogging heavily. Niall because… well, because he always was up for it, and Liam feeling desperate, partly because of what had happened last night.

Just a few hours ago, the brunette man had been lying in this bed next to a sleeping Niall, fighting his tears and trying to think of a solution, and now he was in between the younger’s legs, with his face buried between Niall’s arse cheeks, holding them open with his thumbs digging into the blonde’s skin, just so Niall wouldn’t have to lie on his back and possibly get hurt. Well, and also because Liam loved eating the younger boy out, not complaining whenever he was on the receiving end, but just hearing Niall’s quick breathing and his moans almost caused him to forget about his problems, only thing mattering right now was making the younger boy feel as good as somehow possible.

They hadn’t done this a lot, but Liam had proof that Niall was absolutely going crazy for it, shuddering each time the older man would suck on his sensitive skin, tongue just barely slipping through the tight ring of muscles before he pulled back out to place a kiss, licking a firm line from his balls and over his taint to his hole. Had Liam not known better, he would have said the younger boy was crying from it. 

“Does it feel good?” Liam asked, barely pulling back, purposely rubbing his stubble over the younger’s skin, making it a little pinker from the touch, smirking when he heard the whine Niall let out. Of course it felt good.

“Yeah…Liam… so fuckin’ good… can you… please… “ It was obvious what he was asking for, but Liam decided to ignore him for a little bit, have some fun as he duck back down, stiffening his tongue once more as Niall relaxed his hole a bit, voice breaking on a sobbing noise. “Liam, _ah_ -“

The brunette’s own erection was twitching in his boxer shorts, dampening the material and he was trying to get some friction by slowly rutting against the mattress, preventing the younger boy from doing the same thing though by holding him down. Once Liam had his tongue inside the blonde, he was pretty sure that Niall actually shed a few tears, judging from the sounds he was making as Liam wiggled his tongue inside him, against his hot walls, getting him wet for his fingers.

Besides Niall’s moans and half broken whines mostly consisting of Liam’s name, there were only obscene sucking noises audible in the room, the wet sounds of Liam’s tongue and mouth, stretching the younger boy for his cock. “Li… _please_ …”

This time, the older man decided to have mercy on Niall, pulling his tongue out shortly afterwards before sucking two of his own fingers into his mouth, getting them wet with spit, the thumb of his other hand rubbing over the younger’s rim, feeling it give in underneath the small pressure. “Tell me if I’m hurting you…”

“Mhmm... “ Was all Niall brought out, he sounded breathless, both his arms clinging to a pillow, smushing his face in there as well when Liam lined up one finger, only slowly and as gentle as possible pushing it inside, almost feeling a bit in trance as he watched, feeling the younger boy’s walls pressing around his digit once it was fully inside, hearing his whines whenever Liam moved his finger just the slightest bit. Shit. “D-Do more… “

“In a second, babe.” Liam reassured him, first of all just slowly fucking the first finger in and out, trying to go deep enough to find Niall’s bundle of nerves, and when he did, he felt a smirk spreading on his swollen and red lips from the high moan the blonde let out. This was never not gonna be hot, Niall letting him do all of this, enjoying it so fucking much, it was definitely one of Liam’s favorite things.

After he had made sure that Niall was ready for more, Liam pulled his finger back out, getting it wet once more before lining it up again, alongside a second one, this time feeling the stretch more clearly as he pushed them inside while Niall was just half sobbing and half moaning into the pillow. He was trying to push his arse more towards Liam but not being able to really because Liam was making sure to hold him down, one arm across the younger’s waist, but only where his skin hadn’t been sunburned.

“L-Li… please… fuck me… please, Liam, _please_ … “ Whenever he was begging like that, Liam could barely hold back, he felt his dick twitching at the words, the way Niall sounded even needier than normally as he kept fucking the boy with his fingers, ever so often brushing his prostate but always making sure he wouldn’t come just yet. “Liaaaammm.... “

“Yeah… one second, Ni... one more, okay? Wanna make sure you’re prepared.” Also, though Liam couldn’t fucking wait to get his dick inside the younger boy, he also couldn’t stop watching the way his fingers disappeared between Niall’s pale cheeks, his pink and now red hole stretching around them, feeling the drag of his rim, the younger’s taste in his mouth as he kept licking around his own fingers, making sure to keep it slippery.

“I am… “ Niall whined, not complaining though as Liam added a third finger, scissoring them slightly inside the boy, always making sure to keep listening for any sounds of pain or something, he had prepped the boy more times than he could count, but you never knew after all. “Please… fuck me now, Liam? ‘m ready… “

“Yeah, okay… “ He was, Liam knew it, but he couldn’t help thrusting his fingers in and out a few more times, almost feeling high now from how obviously Niall was enjoying this, before pulling them out a final time, sitting up on his knees for just a moment, only pulling his boxer shorts low enough so his erection could spring free. Shit, he was so hard from this and he hadn’t even touched himself. “One second, babe… “

There was no answer, but Liam saw Niall sneaking one of his own hands underneath his body, grabbing at himself while Liam did the same, trying to control his breathing as he spread the precum down the length of his cock, spitting into his palm to get it even wetter, anything so Niall would be comfortable. Sure, he could have gotten the lube, but it was like 5 meters across the room and he was pretty sure the younger boy would have managed to get himself off during that time.

“Stay still, love… “ Liam mumbled as he finally lined himself up, only having one hand to spread Niall’s cheeks, holding his breath as the head of his cock was nuzzled up against the younger boy, the slide going rather easy, making Niall moan once more, unintentionally clenching around the older man. “Relax, Nialler, it’s okay… am I hurting you?”

“No, jus’… get on with it… “ He sounded pretty desperate, using the chance that Liam wasn’t holding him down to push back against him, causing his cock to go in further and making Liam hiss in pleasure. 

It was so hard to hold back, go slow, when Liam could have come just from the sight of seeing his dick sliding into the younger boy, his hand rubbing the younger’s waist so he wouldn’t clench again, hoping that it was somewhat soothing. Judging from the sounds coming out of Niall’s mouth though, that was hardly necessary.

Once Liam’s hips were flush against Niall’s ass, he had to take a second to calm down, close his eyes for a moment as he kept his whole weight on his hands close to Niall’s head, not daring to lie down on top of him like he would have normally in fear of hurting him. This was definitely a lot more exhausting, but he felt so close to busting already that it didn’t really seem to matter.

“You alright?” Liam made sure to check, briefly leaning down to kiss the back of Niall’s head, circling his hips a bit and almost having to stop yet again because of how good it felt. Niall was still so tight and so fucking hot inside, pressing around Liam in all the right ways, squeezing him whenever he breathed.

“Y-Yeah… move… please… “ He sounded close to tears once more, moving his ass a bit to show Liam that he really meant it, that he wanted it, and there was no way the older man could have held off any longer and stayed still inside the younger boy. Fuck, he loved this so much, being so intimate with Niall, being inside of him, there was not much in the world that could ever compare to this feeling. 

The older man didn’t fully move out, he just fucked Niall with quick and sharp thrusts, keeping his hips pressed up against him and just circling his hips whenever he felt like he was about to come, grunts and moans filling the hair, the sound of Liam’s skin slapping against Niall’s. This was gonna be over way too soon, Liam knew it but there was nothing he could have done, he knew Niall was coming apart underneath him and that he himself wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer either.

“’m g-gonna… _aah_ , fuck… gonna c-cum… Liam… _harder_ … “ If Liam hadn’t needed his hands, he would have gotten one of them underneath the blonde’s body to jerk him off, but Niall was so close already, just from the friction of the sheets rubbing against his dick, and Liam fucking his ass, dead on hitting his prostate with almost every thrust now. “Fuck…. _Liam_!”

When Niall came, he squeezed the older man even tighter and Liam was so, _so_ close when he heard the long moan Niall let out as he came onto the mattress, his arms having gotten weak and sweat pearls dripping down his bare back as he kept thrusting into the younger boy a few more times before coming inside the younger boy with a grunt, filling him up with his cum, eyes pressed closed as he was riding out his high. To think that almost every single night they had had here had been like this was almost impossible to imagine, but it was true nevertheless.

Though Liam felt pretty tired as he slowly came down from it, he didn’t collapse on top of the younger boy, but rather tried his very hardest to pull out of him in the gentlest way possible, only hearing a few little grunts from Niall as he did so before just lying down next to the younger boy, on his side so they could look at each other, both their breathing still going a bit too fast.

“Shit… that was something…” Niall sounded exhausted, but he tried to move closer towards Liam as the older man brushed the damp hair out of his forehead before placing a shaky kiss against the exposed skin, then his lips. He was so in love with this boy it was insane.

“Don’t sound so surprised… “ The older man teased, chuckling a bit breathlessly as Niall just rolled his eyes with a smirk, their fingers somehow intertwining automatically and Liam brought them closer to his mouth, softly kissing the younger’s knuckles. Then again, just because he could. 

They just lied there for a while, looking at each other and Niall occasionally moving around, probably because he felt Liam’s cum dripping out of him and didn’t like the feeling, but in the end, it just caused him to end up more in the older man’s space, much to Liam’s pleasure. It was crazy, he could have just stayed like this forever, holding Niall’s hand and staring into his eyes, both of them warm and sleepy and enjoying the other’s presence. But it didn’t last.

“Liam… “ The blonde started after a while, his eyes shifting to their intertwined hands instead, letting out a quick yaw as he watched Liam’s thumb rubbing over his. “What’d you wanna tell me last night? I can’t really remember and I fell asleep literally one second later, was it… important?”

To Liam’s surprise, he didn’t even hesitate, he knew this was his chance, that he had been granted another one and that he only had few days left, but looking into Niall’s face, how lovely he looked like this, how peaceful the mood was, he couldn’t have risked destroying this, not now. And so he lied. “No… it was nothing… just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you came here with me, is all.”

“Oh… “ There was a smile spreading on the younger’s lips and Liam returned it immediately, even if he felt his stomach dropping just the tiniest bit, but he quickly got over it once Niall shifted some more, until he was able to lean over and kiss the older’s lips, not fully pulling back as he answered. “Me too… “

 

\----------------

 

There was something in Liam’s eyes that Niall couldn’t read, something that caused his face to go a bit darker sometimes, when he thought the younger boy wasn’t looking. A few times, Niall almost thought of bringing it up, but somehow he never did, blamed it on random factors, that Liam was maybe tired, that they had been in the sun for too long. Because really, what else could it have been? It was obvious that the older man was enjoying himself on their vacation, that it didn’t have anything to do with Niall because he was touchy and sweet like always, it seemed to be something completely different, but for some reason, Niall never really got the chance to ask about it. 

When they got back home, after literally the best few days of Niall’s life and his sunburn somewhat having healed, he was feeling more relaxed than he could ever remember, his mood literally on a high the whole entire flight back, even if he had fallen asleep once or twice. Damn, he was SO glad Liam had taken him on that trip, and yeah, Niall knew it was wrong, but if the older man would invite him to something like this anytime soon again, he would definitely not decline, because feeling a bit guilty for all the money spent that wasn’t his own, was definitely worth it. 

“Feels like we haven’t been here in forever… “ It almost felt slightly weird now, to be back in Liam’s house, after they had been in the US for a bit and then on vacation obviously, but it seemed even further away since Niall had been at his dorm. Thank god. 

“Yeah, I know. It always feels like this, but it’s nice being home for a bit.” Liam shrugged, smiling though as their eyes met and momentarily, Niall almost thought he had imagined the older man frowning just a second ago. “I’m really happy we did this.”

“Me too… thank you so much, I know you don’t wanna hear it anymore, but… thank you.” Niall couldn’t help himself, almost getting slightly emotional every time he thought about it, that Liam wanted to do things like this with him, and with him only, because he was pretty sure he would have been no one else’s first choice.

“You’re welcome, babe, really… “ The older’s face had gotten a bit softer at this, hand coming up to cup the back of Niall’s head as he kissed his forehead, causing the younger’s eyes to fall closed for just a second, wishing he could have kept Liam close for a little bit longer. “C’mon, let’s unpack a little bit and get it over with.”

Since Liam’s Europe tour came first before the rest, they wouldn’t be away for a lot of days in a row, could always come back, so they did unpack most of their stuff, and Niall once again thought about how it’d be like when his summer break was over and Liam would still be on tour when he had to go back to college. It almost made him sad, even if he knew that it wasn’t really that big of a deal, because Liam had promised he’d fly Niall out as often as possible, and that he’d come back as well, even if it’d be for just one night. And also, he had so much time to spend with Liam, had been with him for longer than ever before even now, and it were still weeks before they’d have to say goodbye.

Then again, Niall had literally been freaking out after not seeing Liam for five days, so it kinda hit the blonde harder now that they were back, that they were so close before tour would start again and though he thought that he was pretty good at concealing it, he was very aware that Liam didn’t seem to be in the best mood anymore either as they were unpacking their stuff, not being quite as subtle about it as Niall.

“Hey… everything alright?” Was it still whatever Liam had had on his mind when they had been away? Now Niall felt guilty for not asking sooner, but he hadn’t really thought that it was that big of a deal, that it’d last beyond their time away. Maybe he was just tired.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine… what about you?” Liam had immediately put on a happier face and now Niall really did get slightly more worried, like… did it have something to do with him? Had he done something or whatever?

“Yeah, I’m good… “ The younger boy mumbled, chewing on his bottom lip as he watched Liam putting some stuff into his bathroom before coming back, about to lean down to get something else out of his bag, but Niall stopped him without really thinking about it, lightly grabbing his upper arm, still holding on as he was met by a confused look. “If… if there’s something you wanna talk about or… I don’t know, I just… I didn’t wanna say anything, but… I noticed that… that you seemed a little off sometimes and if you’re just tired, that’s fine, just wanna check, like… you can talk to me, you know? Just in case.”

“Niall, I... “ He shook his head once, smiling for a moment and Niall almost thought that Liam would just brush it off, tell him that he really just was tired and that he could stop worrying about it, that there literally was nothing at all. But then, Liam suddenly took an unexpected deep breath, eyes shifting away from Niall’s, his face getting a bit serious. Oh… so there really was something? “It’s nothing, really, I was just… forget about it, I’m sorry.”

“No, what? You can tell me, Liam, it’s fine, whatever it is, promise.” Well, Niall wouldn’t let him drop it anymore now, would he? Not now that he knew that something was indeed going on, his heart speeding up a bit as he thought about what it could be, what if it DID have something to do with him after all?!

For a moment, Liam hesitated, his eyes finding Niall’s again and he looked at the younger boy so intensely for a few seconds that the blonde almost had the urge to turn his head. This was strange, what the hell was going on with Liam? He hadn’t acted this weird the whole last few days, it had literally just been tiny moments that Niall could have as well imagined, but suddenly it seemed to be a bigger thing than he could have ever thought. “I… come here, uh… let’s sit down.”

“Li? What’s going on?” Confused, Niall let the older man pull him down next to him on the end of the bed, keeping his hands around Liam’s though, not even having one single clue what this could be about. “Did I do something? Did I… I don’t know, if I did then… just tell me.“

As he looked up, the expression on Liam’s face had switched to something Niall couldn’t have read even if he would have tried his hardest, all he knew was that this was probably really important, from the intense look the older man was throwing at him, the tension suddenly filling the air. And somehow, the blonde suddenly felt a little bit scared. “No, Nialler, it’s not you and you didn’t do anything at all, I just… I’ve been wanting to tell you something while we were away and I never did and I just finally wanna get it out and… I need you to… to not freak out now. Please.”

What the hell was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and is prepared for what we all know is going to happen in the next one ;) let me know!
> 
> also! pretty sure that there will be 24 chapters until i will tick the work off as complete, HOWEVER, im most likely going to write a 25th chapter as an epilogue!


	23. Chapter 23

“Freak out? Why would I freak out? Wait… you’re not like... sick or something, right? It’s not something really bad and serious and-“

“Nialler, hey, no, it’s not, okay? And I’m fine, I just… “ Well, for now Liam was fine, because honestly, he wasn’t so sure about what was going to happen in just a few minutes.

They were sitting on the bed and Niall had grabbed both of Liam’s hands in his, very obviously already freaking out about this even though he had no idea what was even going on. The older man shouldn’t have been doing this now, randomly, just because Niall had noticed his mood being a bit down, but how could it have not been? When he had had just this one task for their vacation and yet he hadn’t managed to fulfill it? Hadn’t even _tried_ anymore after he had messed it up by not checking whether the younger boy had still been asleep that one time.

All the way back in the plane, Liam had been trying to convince himself to just do it, but in the end he had always decided against it, had found new reasons why he couldn’t. And now they were back home, and though the time away with Niall had been _amazing_ , Liam still hadn’t told the younger boy, he was still carrying this secret around with him and he was literally going to burst if he didn’t blurt out with it now.

So that’s why they were sitting there now, not even having fully unpacked and Liam felt so stupid, but he just needed to do this or he never would, he had wasted enough chances, that was his very last one and he didn’t intend on blowing it. Not that it was his decision how it’d turn out, but he would have never found the courage to actually open his mouth had there not been a part inside of him that kept on believing that all would end well.

“Then what is it? Li, I’m…. really worried.” Of course he was, because Liam was acting like a complete idiot and now he felt guilty, seeing that look on Niall’s face, the way he squeezed his hands, as if Liam was about to tell him that he was going to die within a month or something. “Tell me.”

See, now he was literally asking Liam to tell him, just because the older man hadn’t had the guts before, and even now, that he literally had no way out, his heart was beating incredibly fast, hands getting sweaty in Niall’s as he looked into the younger’s eyes. This was it, for real. “I just… I wanted to tell you a few times when we were away and somehow... somehow something always came up and then I didn’t and… and now-“

Literally at exactly that second, Liam’s phone started going off in his pockets, and for a moment, he almost backed out yet again, pulling a hand out of Niall’s just to get it out, his eyes briefly scanning the display, staring at it way longer than he needed to read the name. It was Louis, who knew that they were back, and he was probably gonna ask for the details, ask Liam how it had gone, and the brunette man would have to tell him that he was a coward, that he had wasted chance after chance, just because he was scared shitless. “Are you… gonna pick up?”

Niall’s voice sounded weird, he was obviously confused by the whole situation, probably also because Liam had just half zoned out while staring at his phone, but as he looked up and met Niall’s eyes once more, he decided to just do it. Fuck it, he was gonna tell Niall now and finally be able to sleep again at night. “No.”

“… Liam?” The younger boy watched as Liam turned his phone off before half throwing it across the bed, for a brief moment wondering whether all of this was just coincidence, or whether he really should have taken all his tough luck as a sign. But he was never gonna find out if he didn’t take a risk, was he? He’d forever be left wondering and he wouldn’t be able to live like this. “Are you alright?”

“I am… “ He lied, not being able to look at Niall any longer though, instead looking down at their intertwined hands, taking a deep breath right as he decided to scratch all of the bullshit he had come up with a few days ago when Niall had been asleep, all of the stuff he had said, because there literally was only one single thing he needed to say anyways. “Niall, I… what I wanted to tell you, since _months_ , actually, is that… that I…. I… I love you.”

He was met by silence, his ears rushing for a moment from the adrenaline shooting through his body, not being able to believe that these words had just left his mouth, while Niall was awake, sitting right there next to him, their thighs brushing and their hands still intertwined. And for a moment, it honestly felt really fucking good and Liam almost believed that things could be alright, almost getting his hopes up, almost daring to lift his head again. But then, he didn’t. “I… what? What do you mean?”

Niall’s voice was anything but happy, actually, he didn’t sound mad either, just even more confused and Liam had known that this would happen, that he would have to explain this a bit further, trying to keep himself calm. He hadn’t messed it up just yet, the younger boy just didn’t know what was going on, that was normal, right? It didn’t mean anything? “I… I mean it just like that and… and I know I shouldn’t have… just blurted out with it like that, now, but… but I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you and I couldn’t and I just… fuck, Niall, I’m in love with you.”

That was clear, wasn’t it? Liam’s voice had been louder than intended, but he had felt desperate for Niall to understand what he meant, slowly looking up afterwards as he waited for a reaction, at first only being met by wide, blue eyes, Niall’s grip around his hands having gone limp and for a moment, Liam still kept his hopes up, still thought that this could end well. Even though deep down, he had never expected this conversation to be happy, had never really imagined Niall jumping at him and telling him he loved him as well. But somehow, he also hadn’t quite expected the younger boy’s voice to sound so hard. “No. No, you aren’t.”

“Niall-“

“No, stop it, alright? Don’t fuckin’ mess with me, this isn’t funny, Liam.” Within a second, the blonde had pulled his hands away and brought more distance between, causing the older man’s heart to sink, a terrible thought trying to creep its way into his head as he tried to shut it out, already feeling tears building up in his eyes. But maybe Niall was just shocked, maybe he just… didn’t know how to react?

“I’m not messing with you, Nialler, I… I really mean it.” Liam knew that his voice had started to sound shaky, desperately trying to think of the right words to say but nothing would come to his mind, all he felt capable of doing was sitting there, already feeling defeated as he suddenly started to wish he could have taken it all back. Fuck, why had he ever thought that this would be a good idea?! “Niall, look, I… I just wanted to tell you, nothing else, I… you don’t even have to say anything at all, I just… I just wanted you to know.”

“Why?” Was all Niall asked, his facial expression suddenly having gotten a lot more serious, harder, and Liam had no idea what the younger boy was referring to with that question, all he knew was that right now, he would have given anything to travel back in time those few minutes and instead pick up his fucking phone and postpone this conversation. He was such a bloody idiot. “Why’d you have to tell me? We made a fucking deal, Liam, I told you, I always told you we’d never be more than fucking friends! You can’t… you can’t be in love with me. If this is some stupid fucking joke Louis and Harry set you up to then I swear to god I’m not only gonna kill those two but also _you_!”

This hit hard, harder than it should have, and Liam didn’t know if Niall was just starting to yell these things at his head because he didn’t know what to think anymore either, because it had all come out of nowhere, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t fucking hurt, almost leaving the older man breathless with pain, eyes now glued onto his lap, twisting his fingers together. All he really had left now was pleading. “No one… no one set me up to this, Ni, I… it’s the truth. Even if… even if you wanna deny it, but… I just needed to tell you, okay? I couldn’t… forever pretend that I don’t have any feelings for you, because I do, and I needed months to figure it out and months before I was ready to tell you and…and nothing has to change, I just… I just wanted you to know. Niall, please… I’m sorry.”

“You’re _sorry?_ Liam, this is fucking crazy, I… _everything_ will change, I… I had no fucking idea, I… “ He seemed at a loss of words as well, but Liam knew better than to get his hopes back up, he just felt really crushed down now, not even wanting to continue this conversation because it was obvious already, no need to talk about it. Niall didn’t return his feelings, not in the slightest way, and he never would, making it very clear by his choice of words. “Fuck… you ruined it. You fucking ruined everything, Liam!”

Before Liam had even fully taken in these words, Niall had already gotten up and stormed out of the room, leaving the older man behind with only one single tear spilling over that he hastily wiped away, suddenly not only feeling beyond disappointed and hurt, but also slightly angry. How dare Niall say that? That Liam had ruined it?! It wasn’t like he had chosen to fall for the boy for Christ’s sake! If it had been his choice, Liam would have never chosen for any of this to turn out like that.

Going after the younger boy, Liam didn’t have to search for very long to find him, he was just walking up and down the living room, obviously trying to calm down and breathing quite heavily, his hands clenching and unclenching and Liam couldn’t believe that this was what it had come to. What the hell were they gonna do now? 

“Niall-“

“No, shut up, alright? I don’t wanna hear it.” Okay, fuck it, that was it, what the hell had gotten into him?!

“What the fuck, Niall? Why are you acting like this?! I know I shouldn’t have told you like that, but you don’t have to react like… like such a fucking prick!” At least now, Liam had momentarily stopped wanting to burst out into tears and beg Niall for forgiveness, he was just standing there, not moving as his eyes were stuck on the younger boy, who had finally stopped walking around, a few meters away from the older man, letting out a humorless laugh that gave Liam goosebumps. 

“I’m a prick? Just five seconds ago you were deadly in love with me!” They had never gotten onto such a low level, Liam hadn’t even thought that they were capable of fighting like this, but he was proven wrong right then and there. That was it, there wasn’t even a point to keep on fighting because Liam already knew that he had indeed ruined it all, that there was nothing he could have said to get Niall to calm down. And yet he tried.

“I am, okay? And there’s nothing you could ever say to change that. All I wanted was to talk about it, nothing else, I didn’t even expect you to be happy about it, but you could have at least tried to get it together for a second or two, I… I didn’t want this to happen, okay? None of it. I was perfectly happy with what we have, Niall, but I can’t help it that… I tried to suppress it, I really did, for months, but… I can’t. And I’m sorry, I know we made a deal, I know you don’t like relationships, I know-“

“You _know?_ You don’t fucking know me at all, Liam!” No idea why he had started screaming yet again, but for the split of a second, Liam thought he could see tears building up in Niall’s eyes, his voice half breaking away at the end and he didn’t even think as he grabbed a hold of the younger’s wrist just as he was about to storm out yet again. “Let me go.”

“No, Niall. I do know you, I know you better than anybody else and you know that. I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t.” The younger boy wiping over his eyes with his free hand was enough proof Liam needed, he knew that Niall wasn’t purposely trying to hurt him, even if he had, but the blonde had never gotten into a situation like this and Liam had just taken him off guard. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that! It doesn’t change anything, I know you are, I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, but… we can’t. I can’t do this, Li. I… I don’t know how to deal with it, I… I don’t _want_ to deal with it, I… I just wanted everything to stay the way it was.” The last part almost came out desperate and Liam thought that Niall would start bawling any second as he looked away from him, blinking rapidly in an obvious attempt to get rid of the tears building up, Liam’s grip around his arm still tight though. “I wanna go home.”

“You are… “ Okay, that had definitely been the wrong thing to say, but it had just slipped out, causing Niall to press his eyes closed, shaking his head to himself a few times, for a moment not even trying to fight against Liam’s tight grip anymore. 

“No… Liam, we can’t… we can’t sit here and pretend that nothing’s going on. How… how’d we continue like nothing happened? Like you don’t… “ He didn’t finish his sentence, but Liam knew what he meant nevertheless, not knowing what to answer because he had already known that this was going to happen, he had never genuinely believed that should Niall not be ready to… to try this, that they’d pretend nothing had happened. Yet still, it felt like a fucking slap in the face, having confirmation for his worst nightmares. “Shit… shit, Liam. I… I can’t do this, I really can’t, okay? I… I’ve never… and I don’t… I don’t want a relationship, I… “

“I know… “ Finally, Liam released the younger’s wrist, his anger somehow having disappeared now that at least neither of them was yelling anymore, but it didn’t change the fact that this was the worst thing that could possibly have happened. He was going to lose Niall, just like that, and there was nothing he could have done to prevent it, nothing at all. Somehow though, Liam still found a way to embarrass himself even more, in a kind of ‘it can’t get worse now’ fashion. “I know you don’t but… but we could… we could still try, maybe, if… like… “

“Liam… “ Niall’s voice had changed once more, it had gotten quieter and he let out a sigh, waiting for the older man to look up, now again with tears threatening to fall any second, not having thought that Niall could hurt him even more than he already had. That he couldn’t only break his heart but absolutely wreck it. “I don’t… I’m not… I don’t feel the same, Liam, I… I thought we both knew that this was just… on a friendship basis. I never… I never even considered the thought, I just… when you told me just a few minutes ago I honestly thought you were joking around. I… I’m sorry, Li… “

“Oh. I… I mean it’s fine, I… I know that… that you don’t, uh… “ Shit, Liam was honestly going to start crying, he had never felt like this before, never felt so rejected and broken and hurt, not even when he had gone through a breakup. Maybe it was because everyone else had been so sure, had encouraged him to tell Niall, that he himself had somehow started to believe it, had told himself that Niall was acting like he returned his feelings. Maybe he had just imagined it all? 

“Liam…. I need to go, I… we can’t just… pretend it never happened, I… “ He was gonna leave, just like Liam had always thought he would, he was gonna leave and it didn’t matter if the brunette man would have told him while they had been on vacation, the outcome would have been the exact same. “I don’t know what to do, maybe… maybe if we… spend some time apart and… “

“You… You just wanna throw everything away like that? Just because… just because I have feelings for you?” What was Liam supposed to do? He wouldn’t be able to just get over Niall like that, he had never been confronted with it like that, that he might have to move on, that… that this was how it was going to end. Fucking shit. 

“Li, what are we supposed to do? I don’t… I don’t wanna throw anything away at all, I just… this isn’t good, for you, I mean. I don’t want you to get hurt, I… I know you’re gonna say you aren’t, but I can see it in your face right now, and I’m sorry for freaking out earlier and saying those things, I just… I didn’t want it to come to this either.” Was there anything more to say, really? Was there any point at all for them to keep on discussing this when it wasn’t gonna change Niall’s mind? He wasn’t gonna magically fall in love with Liam and the brunette man really got it now, he shouldn’t have played himself like that, he knew that he would have told Niall eventually, one day, and the consequences wouldn’t have changed. They had always been bound to go down like this, hadn’t they? He just hadn’t been prepared for it to be so soon. “I’m sorry, Liam, I… shit, I had no idea…“

“You weren’t supposed to, I… it’s okay, I…” It wasn’t okay, nothing was okay at all but Liam didn’t know what else to say to keep from crying, he hadn’t thought that this was going to hurt so much, as if something was tearing him apart inside, he hadn’t really quite grasped just how much he had wanted all of this, how much he had just wanted to be with Niall, for real. “… I don’t want you to go. We… we’ve been looking forward to this for so long and… ” 

“I know, Liam, I… “ This was hard for Niall as well, Liam could hear it but it didn’t make things any better, he couldn’t even look at the younger boy anymore now, feeling embarrassed and at the same time not even caring anymore. What was the point of pretending now? “I’m so sorry, okay? I really am, I just… I don’t want to make you any false hopes, I don’t… I don’t want to carry on like this when we both know this means something completely different to you and… I know it hurts, and I don’t want to lead you on, I… I think that it’d be better if… if we aren’t stuck together for the next few days, I mean… “

“Yeah… maybe… maybe you’re right… “ He was, but Liam just agreed because he knew he had lost, that he couldn’t force Niall so stay here if he didn’t want to and even if it’d kill Liam, he would have to let him go, he had always known that that was a possibility and he had decided himself to take the risk. And now he had to pay the price for it. “Will you, uh… still text me?”

“Yeah… of course I will.” There might have been a smile on Niall’s face, but Liam didn’t even lift his head to check, he just nodded to himself, flinching as the younger boy unexpectedly wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly, his lips against Liam’s cheek, probably for the last time. “I’m so sorry, bean… “

This time, Liam didn’t bother anymore to blink back his tears.

 

\---------------------

 

Niall didn’t know what to do, didn’t even know anymore what to think or how to handle any of this. He had been able to hold his tears back while he had still been at Liam’s, but the moment he had gotten into the car, they had started dripping down his cheeks like fucking waterfalls, and he didn’t even bother trying to wipe them away. He had broken Liam’s heart, it had been obvious, how much it had hurt the older man and had Niall known, had he just had a tiny bit of an idea, he could have reacted differently, could have maybe made it more bearable. Instead, he had been yelling around and then even though he had apologized, had continued to make Liam feel like absolute shit, basically ending their whole friendship right on the spot.

But what had Niall been supposed to say? Never in a billion years would he have thought that Liam would develop true feelings for him, that he had been holding them back since months, had most likely told Harry and Louis, maybe his mother, and Niall had been living completely unaware of any of it. No wonder the other two guys had never quite stopped making their smart remarks, throwing these glances at each other whenever Niall and Liam had touched. It all made sense now.

Looking back at it, Niall realized things that he had been blind to before, he knew what everyone meant, when they said they had been acting like a couple, because most of the time, they really had. No wonder Liam had been making himself hopes, Niall had just played along, he had enjoyed it, had felt safe and good around Liam, had loved how close they were, that they could talk about anything, do anything, and at the same time still remain friends.

He should have known that it couldn’t have been so easy, that it had been too good to be true. 

Niall did believe that some time apart could have maybe made things better, but there was a way bigger reason why he had wanted to leave so desperately, knowing that he couldn’t have survived being stuck with Liam for another few hours. There was something Niall had known since months he should have thought about, but he had always pushed it away, had always told himself it didn’t fucking matter because it’d never come to any of this anyways. But he had been wrong.

Niall knew that maybe he was being difficult and maybe he was acting a bit like a child in that sense, but the truth was that he was scared shitless, about all of these things that Liam wanted. He had never had a real relationship, had never fallen in love with anybody, wasn’t even sure what that felt like. The blonde had always only done things like this, one night stands, never being committed to anybody, never allowing it to go any deeper.

Ever since he had met Liam though, things had changed drastically, not that Niall hadn’t had a say in this because he had been the driving force in the beginning, just… how should he have known? That it’d come to this? He had grown very fond of Liam, more, the older man was like his best friend and Niall was pretty sure that they got along better than he and Harry did, so the thought of it all being over, just like that, literally the day they had gotten back from their vacation, was almost unbearable.

Of course Niall could have told Liam that they could try this, carry on like they had, never speaking of it again, but knowing Liam, one day he would have started saying the L word again, and then again and again until they’d practically be dating for real. But that would have been wrong, so fucking wrong because Niall had never been this committed to anyone, he didn’t _need_ it… right?

Yeah, this right here hurt like shit, but there was a chance for Liam to get over it, it wasn’t impossible for him to move from his feelings, however, if Niall would have agreed to… to try this for real, what in god’s name would he have done if Liam had left one day? If whatever it was that he felt wouldn’t have turned out to be strong enough? 

It was a stupid fear and Niall knew it, he wasn’t a child or even a teenager, but it was true that all his fucking life, people had walked in and out of it, no one had ever really stayed and the only reason why he and Harry were so close was that the younger boy had been very consistent, but he was the only one really that Niall trusted like this. Obviously, he trusted Liam as well, but now that things had turned out like this, he couldn’t allow himself to risk it, to risk… maybe allowing some of his feelings to surface that he hadn’t really been aware of until now.

So, yeah, Niall was running away. He was running away because he wanted to be in control of what happened, he was running away because he wouldn’t have survived building something up with Liam that could have so easily gotten destroyed and completely broken him. But most of all, he was running away because never in his life had he had such deep feelings for someone else, and maybe he had kinda panicked, when he had told Liam that he felt absolutely nothing for him, that it had never crossed his mind just once, maybe he was just really fucking scared and had no bloody idea how to deal with it.

 

\-------------------

 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat, love?” Anne asked again, because it was her thing, because she was used to Niall eating like a horse whenever he was at her house, but right now, the blonde couldn’t have eaten anything had his life depended on it. 

“No, really, I’m fine, thank you.” Nothing was fine, Niall didn’t even know how he managed to keep that stupid smile on his face, but somehow he did it, even if it hurt, even if he felt as if his fucking insides were bleeding. He didn’t even want to think about how Liam was feeling right now, if it was this terrible for Niall, how was it for the older man? 

“Alright, just tell me if you do. It might be a while until Harry and Louis are back, I’m sure if you called them though, they would-“

“No, no, I don’t wanna ruin their date, I just… just gotta talk to them about something.” Where else had Niall been supposed to go? Not back to his dorm, that was for sure, Liam hadn’t bought him a ticket this time, understandably, and now Niall was broke because he had bought one himself, no idea still how he had managed to hold back his tears for that long really. But he had, immediately starting again as he had been inside the train though, not caring if anybody recognized him or not, so now he was just fucking down, and tired, and he wished he could have been with Liam, that everything could have been the way they had been looking forward to for so long.

“Okay… if there’s something you want to talk about now though, then I’m in the kitchen, yeah?” Of course Harry’s mum knew that something was up, why else would Niall have randomly shown up at her doorstep, with his bag full of stuff, probably having forgotten a ton of it at Liam’s place. The blonde really appreciated the fact though that Anne wasn’t pushing it, there was a high possibility that she knew about all of this as well, that she knew Niall was supposed to be with Liam, and yet she chose not to say anything, didn’t even drop any hints.

Niall just thanked her once more before she left him alone in the living room once more, with the TV turned off and Niall just sitting on the couch he had sat on so many times before, just emptily staring at the wall, feeling tears building up in his eyes once more. How was he supposed to survive this? He was missing Liam already, already wished he would have thought about it twice before leaving, but staying wouldn’t have been the right choice either, he just… he just wanted everything to go back to how it had been.

There were tears dripping down Niall’s face once more sooner than he would have thought, not bothering to wipe them off though because he could hear Anne noisily doing things in the kitchen and he knew that Harry and Louis wouldn’t be back for a while. It was already quite late, because of how long the train ride had been, but they were out for dinner or something and now Niall felt bad but where else would he have gone? He couldn’t have gone home, even though his dad only lived minutes away from here, or back to his dorm, because he would have gone crazy at either those places. This was different than anything Niall had ever experienced, different from everything else that had caused him to cry like that (which hadn’t been often), because usually, he would have preferred to deal with it himself, but in this case… he knew he would have lost his mind being by himself.

God, hopefully Liam was doing alright, he didn’t even have his best friend there, and his parents lived really far away and just the thought of it had Niall getting out his phone, though he knew it was wrong, but… they were still friends, best fucking friends, and he cared so much about the older man that it was killing him to know that Liam was miserable. Because of something Niall had done.

For a few minutes, he tried to resist the urge to text Liam, not wanting to make it any worse than it already was, and also because he could barely see the screen when his eyes were watering up like that, his sight still all blurry as he just decided to fuck it. The damage was already done.

 

_To Lima Bean 7:56 pm  
heyy…. just wanna make sure youre alright…. i know youre not really but…. please stay stafe, liam. im sorry _

 

Niall had almost added a ‘I miss you’, but had luckily decided not to do it last second, because it surely wouldn’t have helped. Actually, he was more than certain that Liam was not going to text back, the look on the older’s face right before Niall had left had been… the worst sight the blonde could have ever imagined. He had been crying, pretty hard as well, and though he had been trying so hard to keep it together, he hadn’t managed to, almost causing the blonde to cry along with him.

Thinking about it again now made Niall feel even worse, he didn’t know what to do with himself now, didn’t know if he and Liam could ever even be normal friends or if the older man still wanted to talk to him afterwards. All Niall knew was despite the fact that he had unrightfully blamed Liam for it, in reality, _he_ had been the one who had fucking ruined it. 

Just hours ago everything had been alright, and Niall hadn’t suspected anything at all, had been kissing Liam without a care in the world and cuddled into his side, held his hand, and now he was on Harry’s mum’s couch, crying his eyes out while trying to be quiet, because of something he himself had done. But it would have been wrong though, to lead Liam on, wouldn’t it? When Niall didn’t even know anymore what he wanted himself, when he didn’t even fucking know what it was that he felt, when everything he had said to Liam before had literally been the first things that had come to his mind, the ones he knew would have helped him to get out of the situation without having to overthink.

Well, it was obvious now where that had gotten him. Nowhere.

It felt like ages to Niall, just sitting there on that couch, trying to suppress every single sob, eventually running out of tears and just sitting there, feeling numb inside as he just waited, not really sure how he was gonna explain any of this to Harry and Louis, seeing as they had probably known about Liam’s feelings all along. Honestly, it would have really served Niall right had they both slapped him hard across the face.

When he heard the front door open and Harry’s mum moving out of the kitchen, Niall was way too busy with wiping his face one more time and trying to relax his facial muscles as to listen to anything they were saying, all he heard really was his name maybe once or twice, but the situation was awkward enough already so the blonde didn’t even feel a need to pretend like he wasn’t embarrassed. Not that he cared, there were other feelings that were overweighing that, more painful ones that he would have gladly traded for simply being _embarrassed_.

“Nialler!” It was Harry’s voice that caused Niall to turn his head, very well knowing that he looked anything besides alright or relaxed, but there was no need to worry about that anymore now, because honestly, he felt like a fucking wreck. And the other two could probably tell just from looking at him for one second. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Hey… “ Niall didn’t answer the question immediately, he just slowly got up when they came closer, letting Harry pull him into a rather tight hug, over his shoulder accidentally meeting Louis’ eyes, making it rather obvious that there was no need for him to explain any of this. They knew.

“You alright?” Well, that was unnecessary to ask, but the blonde still kinda appreciated the fact that they didn’t just blurt out with it, pretending not to know even though it made sense. Liam had probably called Louis a while ago already, or texted him, and Niall suddenly wished that instead of him being here, that the other two could have been with Liam instead. He was the one who had gotten his heart broken, Niall just… Niall was just really, really sad. 

“Umm… not really… “ Slowly pulling out of Harry’s hug, Niall tried to keep up a small smile as he shrugged a bit, allowing Louis to ruffle his hair for a moment before deciding that there was no need to keep up the façade, no need to try and play a game here when everyone in this room knew very well what was going on. “I… I know that you guys know… and I’m sorry for… for just showing up, but I… I didn’t know where else to go and…“

“Ni, it’s fine, really, you can always come here, you know that.” Harry’s smile seemed to be genuine and Niall was relieved that neither of them seemed to be mad at him, but he knew that he would have deserved it. Yeah, Harry was _his_ friend, and Louis was as well now somehow, but he had obviously known Liam for much longer and suddenly thinking about it took Niall back months ago, to when Harry and Louis hadn’t even known about Liam and Niall being this close, and when they had found out, the text message Louis had sent Niall, the one saying _’Please don’t break his heart, okay?'_. And now he had, in the worst way possible. “When have you gotten here? You could have texted me, we would’ve come back sooner.”

“A while… and it’s fine, I didn’t wanna… ruin your date.” Now Niall was only ruining their night. 

“You wouldn’t have, it was pretty boring anyways.” The youngest boy was obviously joking, throwing a smirk at Louis, who pretended to be mad at him and Niall was so fucking jealous that he could have died on the spot. “No, but seriously, Ni, we… yeah, we know, Louis talked to Liam a few hours ago and I… I would have called you, but I thought maybe you didn’t wanna talk about it.”

Thank god Harry hadn’t called him because Niall would have just been sobbing into the phone, he felt pretty close again now, nervously playing with his shirt, not really looking at either of the guys, not knowing how to do this. It’s not like they could have helped him, could they? They couldn’t make it undone, couldn’t tell him what he was supposed to do now. So instead, Niall asked the dumbest thing possible. “How… how’s Liam?”

The question was directed at Louis, who had just been standing back a bit, but he let out a small sigh at that, causing Niall’s heart to drop though he hadn’t even said anything yet. “Niall, I think we… we should talk about this. Because… obviously I don’t know you as well as Harry, or Liam, but I still think that… that you possibly made the wrong choice here.”

At this, Niall immediately lifted his head, his mouth already opened even before he realized that he had no idea what to reply, barely noticing that Louis hadn’t even answered his question, but his voice had sounded firm, yet careful, as if nothing Niall could have said would have changed his mind. Somehow, the blonde didn’t even want to. 

“C’mon, let’s… let’s sit down.” Harry obviously felt the slight tension, rubbing Niall’s arm for a second before sitting down and waiting for the blonde to do the same before moving in closer while Louis sat on the armchair. It almost felt like they were about to discipline Niall for being naughty or something, and he did suddenly feel a bit like a child, who would come crying to his parents for something he had brought upon himself. For some reason though, it was comforting, having them here, having Harry so close that he could as well have been half on top of him, and having Louis’ face being all serious, as if he knew exactly what it was that Niall needed to do now. Hopefully he did.

“I… I didn’t want to hurt him, Louis, I had no idea, I didn’t mean to-“

“I know, Niall, it’s fine, yeah? I’m not like… mad or anything. And yeah, I want Liam to be happy and obviously he’s not right now, but… you aren’t either.” It was only pure observation and Niall didn’t know what Louis was trying to say with that, because why would he have been happy? This was a disaster.

“No, I’m not, I… I don’t know what to do. I didn’t even… suspect it and I just… I know I hurt him really badly and… it’s killing me, but I don’t know what to do or how to apologize or how to make it better because no matter what I say it won’t be what he wants to hear and I just… I just… wanna go back to how it was but we can’t because it’d just hurt him more and I… I don’t know what to do.” At this point, Niall was just repeating himself, his throat having gotten all tight and his words occasionally sounding a bit choked out, but he couldn’t have changed it even if he had wanted to. This was the truth, he was desperate to do something, but he just didn’t know _what_.

“Look… I know Liam didn’t do it in the best way. He told me, a while ago already, and I… I urged him to tell you, and in all seriousness, I know me and Harry have been teasing you guys, but… it was never really for the fun of it, we didn’t just… have a laugh with it. It’s just… I never understood your relationship with Liam, or what the motivation was from your side to do all of this, I know Liam, I know he was bound to fall for you, that he was just trying to lie to himself all along because you made this deal or whatever that it wouldn’t go any deeper. And I’m not blaming you at all, Niall, I was just… I was just wondering why you did all of this, why you were okay with…. acting like a couple, even in private, when it’s apparently not what you want.” Shit.

Louis did have valid points, things Niall had never really wanted to think about himself, but now he had to, now he needed to give an answer to all of this, but there was nothing that would come to his mind, nothing that would have explained his behavior, because hell… he didn’t even know it himself. “I… I don’t know… it wasn’t like… like _that_ in the beginning, it just slowly… slowly started to turn into this and I… I wasn’t thinking anything of it ‘cos… ‘cos it was Liam and it felt nice and I… I never meant for this to happen, I thought that… that we were on the same page, that… that it meant the same to him that it did to me.”

“What does it mean to you?” Harry was the one who asked, his arm having wrapped around Niall’s shoulders, squeezing him a bit, sounding genuinely curious and Niall once again didn’t know what to say. What _did_ it mean to him? 

“I… “ Niall started, very well aware that he sounded like an idiot, but what should he have said? He didn’t know anymore what to say, everything was so fucked up now looking back at it, it didn’t seem like something he would ever do, and yet he had, had cried to Liam and had let the older man baby him and had randomly cuddled up to him and had been bawling when he had had a cold thinking he wasn’t gonna see Liam for a week. Until now, Niall had somehow managed not to genuinely feel troubled by all of that, like, yeah, it had made him think a few times, but he had always managed to do it off as nothing at all, something that the two of them just did. “I don’t know…”

There was a bit of silence between them where Niall didn’t dare to look up just once, he felt tense and on the verge of tears yet again, by now questioning pretty much everything, including his own feelings, and what if he had in fact gotten it all wrong? What if… what if he would have told Liam that they could just try? But how in god’s name would he have ever survived if it wouldn’t have gone well? And anyways, he didn’t like Liam like that… or did he?

“Ni… I know that… that you think it’s a bad thing, to need somebody, but… it’s not. And I know this is all kinda… new for you, I’ve never seen you being as close to someone as Liam and… the reason why Louis, and also me, wanted Liam to tell you was because… well, because we thought by now you would have… kinda gotten over your… aversion towards relationships. I genuinely thought that… that you would at least… consider it.” The younger boy was speaking slowly, carefully, as if he was scared Niall would bite his head off or something, but really, all the blonde felt like doing right now was bury his face in his hands and just cry.

Which he didn’t do, he just sat there, eyes still glued onto his hands in his laps, trying to find the right words to answer when he literally had no idea what to say. Of course everyone had thought that Niall was… somehow in love with Liam too, because… because he had kinda acted like it, hadn’t he? It had always been more like a joke to him really, that their best friends believed that they were genuinely in love, but turned out that he was really the only one who had never thought about the why. “I just… I never really thought about it, I never thought he’d ever… and then he told me out of nowhere and I… I didn’t know what to say and in my mind, I’ve never… I’ve never considered it and so I immediately said all these things and I just… I don’t know… I don’t want him to hurt.”

“Maybe a few days apart isn’t so bad for you guys after all, like… if you’ve never even considered the thought, maybe you can figure it out while you aren’t with him?” Yeah, Louis’ idea sounded good, only question was, how was Niall going to survive _a few days_ and not go the fuck insane? “I just mean, since you’re clearly not that sure about it and everything, because the way Liam talked on the phone he… he’s completely stopped thinking that there would ever be a way for you guys to be together. Or to just… be friends again.”

“It’s because… because I told him. That there’d be no way we’d ever… but I didn’t mean to, I was shocked and surprised and I said the first things that came to my mind and I… does he really not think we could be friends again? Like… ever?” This hit Niall hard, mostly because Liam had been almost begging him to stay and to just figure this out together, but now the older man was the one who believed that them pretending that nothing had happened wouldn’t work out. Like… not that Niall didn’t know that already, but it still hurt.

“I don’t know, Niall… I’m sure he was just… upset.” Louis seemed to regret what he had said, but it didn’t really matter anymore now because he couldn’t take it back anymore and Niall almost felt completely crushed again. This was so bad, he had never felt this way before, so… helpless and disappointed and just plain sad with nothing to even look forward to anymore or a way to make it better. But then again… how did it feel like for Liam?

“Was he… crying?” Niall really shouldn’t have asked, but it just came out of him, quickly wiping away a tear that had escaped him as he waited for an answer, trying to be quiet as he sniffed.

“Well, he… um… yeah, he was.” Of course.

“I’m so fuckin’ stupid… I didn’t… I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I didn’t w-want… I didn’t want to make him cry or hurt him, we… we were s-so excited when… when I was finally on s-summer break and now I r-ruined everything and I’ll never s-see him a-again and I broke his h-heart and I just… I just n-never wanted things to change b-because I’m scared and I’ve n-never… never liked a-anybody as much as L-Liam a-and he… he d-doesn’t even k-know!” There was no point anymore in holding it back, Niall was just sobbing into his hands by now, not knowing whether he was talking to himself or the others, whether they could even follow whatever it was that he was saying and honestly, he didn’t even care, everything had gone to waste, the one thing that had been the most important to him. And now it was gone, forever possibly.

“Nialler, hey… it’ll be okay, I promise, it’s gonna be fine. He knows all of that, I’m sure he does, and I know it sucks right now, but… if you just think about it for a few days, I’m sure we can come up with a solution, yeah?” As far as that was possible, Harry had wrapped his second arm around Niall as well, just letting him cry while trying to somewhat calm him down, probably not even believing half of the words that left his mouth. But what did it matter, really? “It’ll be fine… “

It wouldn’t be fine at all and right now, Niall had a hard time just pretending that it would be. All he could think of were all those endless days ahead of him, all those things he might never experience again, the way it felt to just be with Liam, hug him, wake up with him. He hadn’t been prepared, hadn’t cherished any of it enough, hadn’t thought that kissing Liam today would have been the very last time he’d ever feel those lips against his.

He had been so used to Liam being there, had been so sure that everything would stay the way it was, that he had never thought about what he would do if it stopped.

 

\-------------------

 

It was awkward, sleeping in the same room as Harry and Louis, but Niall had eventually given in, after they had told him about 100 times in a row that it didn’t matter, that they had had tons of nights to themselves and that they didn’t want Niall to have to be alone. So the blonde had agreed, somehow craving the company but at the same time feeling guilty for it, because he knew that Liam was most likely alone, hours away, in his too big house, with no one there to comfort him. But he would have asked Louis to come though, right? If he had needed him? Or hopefully he had gone home, hopefully he just didn’t have to be by himself right now.

Niall had never gotten a text message back from Liam, and after a while, he had stopped waiting for one after the other two had fallen asleep. They had been downstairs for a few hours, while Niall had cried, not really getting anything out of the conversation they had had, but he did feel better just talking about it, letting somebody know how he felt. Even if he still had no bloody idea what to do now, but at least he had been able to share his thoughts and feelings, while crying like a fucking baby, but still, it wasn’t something Niall was usually very good at, at opening up to people, being this vulnerable. Well, unless it was Liam of course.

His body seemed to have dried out or something because even though Niall was lying on Harry’s couch in almost complete darkness, he couldn’t have cried anymore even if he had wanted to. He just felt kinda numb inside, trying his very hardest to resist getting his phone yet again and looking through the pictures they had taken at the Bahamas, or any time before that really, because it would have hurt way too much. What was Liam going to do now, delete all the pictures of Niall off of his Instagram? Tell everyone that… that they had broken up?

Just the thought of it hurt more than anything, causing Niall to curl up into a ball as far as that was possible, trying to steady his breathing somehow. Shit, he just wanted to sleep, and preferably never wake up again.

Harry and Louis were on the bed, a few meters away, but the room wasn’t very big and Niall could hear them breathing pretty well, still feeling incredibly jealous of them, not only because they could sleep together and because he was missing Liam terribly and had no idea how to even fall asleep without him or at least with one of his shirts on, but also because of their relationship that seemed to be so fucking easy. There was a great chance that it wasn’t always of course, but they had both known from the beginning what it was that they wanted and now they had it and they seemed to be happy with each other and not scared or unsure of their feelings or… whatever it was that Niall felt right now. It wasn’t fair.

Yeah, he had started to sulk a bit in self-pity the last hour or so of lying awake, and he felt stupid for it, like really, he had no right really to crave Liam’s arms around him and his warmth underneath the blanket, the way he breathed into Niall’s neck, how tightly he was holding him, as if he never wanted to let go again. Niall had no right to miss any of that, because he was the one who had run away, he was the one who had said that there was no way they could pretend that nothing had happened and even though he knew that that was true, he couldn’t help but regret it.

“… Niall?” The blonde boy almost fell off of the couch when he heard Harry’s voice interrupting the silence out of nowhere, sounding more like sleep talking than anything. “Are you… still awake?”

“Hmm… yeah.” Niall answered after a moment of slight hesitation, feeling kinda guilty now because he had probably woken Harry up by moving around so terribly much, he just couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position if his life had depended on it. “Sorry if… if I woke you.”

“You didn’t… it’s way too hot in here.” That was true, but the blonde had barely even noticed that because this whole situation couldn’t have gotten worse anymore now anyways. “You alright?”

“I… yeah, I, uh, guess… “ Not in the slightest, but what should Niall have said? It was probably 3 am or something and he felt fucking terrible and was up and about to ask Harry to borrow him some money so he could go back to Liam’s first thing in the morning. Well, not that he could have, because that realization had struck him quite hard as well, he had no way of getting to Liam, no way to just randomly bump into him somewhere, or just show up at his doorstep. If the older man decided that he didn’t want anything to do with Niall anymore, he could have cut all the ties off just like that. 

“Can’t you sleep?” It was kinda obvious, but Niall still mumbled a ‘yes’ after a few seconds, not wanting to sound whiny but it did make Harry sigh quietly. “I know our… conversation before didn’t really help, did it?”

“Well… it helped to talk about it, I just… I still don’t know what to do, Haz. It’s like… I’m so confused, you know? I’ve never had to worry about these things before and now… now it’s come out of nowhere, like… like what if… what if I agree to try it and then… and then it doesn’t work or… or Liam decides he doesn’t want it anymore or… I’ve never been in a real relationship before, I… “ Saying it like that sounded as if Niall was a coward, as if he rather ended it himself before even trying it, and yeah, somehow he was, because even though this hurt like hell, he was pretty sure it’d hurt even more after it had gone on for another year. For both of them.

“There’s never any guarantee that anything will work out, Nialler. Even if you would have continued like that, if Liam hadn’t told you, you might have still had a fight one day, or whatever else could have happened. But I know what you mean, it’s easier to… end a friendship than a serious relationship.” Yeah, that was it, plus, Niall didn’t even know if that’s what he wanted, so it would have been even harder for Liam if he had randomly decided they needed to stop again, after showing him what it could have been like. “Niall, do you… do you love him?”

The question had come out of nowhere, Harry had been teasing him about it, but he had never said it like this, or asked him, not while using these words and Niall felt taken aback as he didn’t know how to answer the question. Not even for himself. “I… I don’t know. Like I… I genuinely don’t know, I… I love him, as a friend, but… I don’t know if… Haz, I… I don’t know what it’s like. What… what’s it like to… to be in love?”

Niall was almost 21 and yet he had to ask this question, warmth of embarrassment filling his cheeks as he waited for his best friend to reply, hoping that he wouldn’t, like, find it weird or anything, but the blonde honestly didn’t know. Yeah, Liam was important to him, a whole fucking lot, more than anybody else, and yeah, he wanted to constantly be with him and kiss him and…. but did that mean he was in love? Was that… enough?

“Hmm… well, I could give you some description you’d find in a book or whatever, but… I don’t know if that’s really what’s going to help you figure out what you want, Ni. Like just imagine it, imagine if you were dating Liam for real, like… would it really be that different from what you have been doing all along? Like, yeah, he’d probably tell you he loves you a lot because he seems like the type of guy who does that, but apart from that… I don’t know if much would change. It wasn’t only about sex with you two, was it? Like, you genuinely get along and whenever I watched you together it was like… like watching two people in love. And if you trust him, Niall, and if you wanna be with him and nobody else and if you can’t imagine not having him there anymore, then… I don’t think you need me to explain it you.” Oh.

But could it be that easy? What Harry had said made it seem like that, but even though Niall needed a while to take it all in, he still wasn’t sure about it. It wasn’t anything about Liam, Niall trusted him, 100%, he knew what it was to be with him 24/7 and he _loved_ it, but it was more like… Niall’s fear of messing it up, of not… giving _enough_ , since he had no experience at all and… god, why did this have to be so complicated? “But… what if I… what if I mess it up? What if… what if it doesn’t go well?”

“You’ll never know if you never try, Ni.” That was true, Harry almost sounded like he was talking to a child now, but maybe it was just because he was so tired that his voice had gotten so soft and slow. “You know… I know we’ve had this conversation tons of times, me telling you you need a serious relationship and that you shouldn’t… sleep around so much, and I never did it because I wanted to patronize you or anything, I just… wanted you to be happy. Like, I’m not saying you can’t be happy unless you’re in a relationship, I just… I know you pretty well, Ni, and I… I know why you never had a serious relationship before. I know why it’s so hard for you to let someone in and trust them, and I know you don’t like commitment or being dependent on anybody, but… whenever I see you with Liam or hear you talking about him then… you do seem happy, very much actually, and as if he’s the right one for you if you wanna call it that. I just mean that… there was a chance you would fall for _someone_ one day, Ni, and I know you’re probably scared, but… you don’t have to be, he loves you, a whole lot, and you’ve already been doing all these things you’re worried about.”

“So… so do you think that… that I should… give it a try? That I… you think that I… that I’m in love with him?” Honestly, who had to ask that besides Niall? He felt so fucking stupid for it, but he didn’t wanna tell Liam he loved him when… when he didn’t even know if it resembled the same feelings for him that it did for Liam.

“I think so, yeah. I think you’ve been in love with him for months and you always pushed it away because you obviously didn’t wanna be confronted with it. But I don’t wanna tell you how you feel or what you should do, Ni, you… gotta figure this out yourself. You’re the only one who can make that decision.” What if he made the wrong one though? “But if it helps… I think you two have been making a really great couple for a few months now.”

There hadn’t been any mockery in Harry’s words, he seemed to mean it just like that and Niall felt the knot in his chest loosening just a tiny little bit. “Thank you, Haz, really I… you’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”

“I know.” A quiet chuckle briefly made Niall smile, for real this time, but he had really meant it, because who else would have put up with Niall’s crap for that long? “You got enough time to figure this out, Nialler, it’s okay if you need to think about it. Just try and sleep a bit now, okay? I’ll probably be awake anyways ‘cos Louis is like a fucking heater next to me. Or wake me up if I do magically manage to fall asleep.”

“Okay… thanks, Harry. I… also for letting me stay and… stuff.” Well, and the fact that he had looked ready to _force_ Niall to sleep in a room with them probably wasn’t something a lot of people would have done. What would Niall have ever done without his best friend?

“It’s fine, Ni, you can always stay here, or come to me when something happens. Everything will be alright, I promise.” For some reason, though Niall knew that there was no way the younger boy could have known for sure, for a moment, he believed Harry, just like that.

Maybe Niall still hadn’t figured it out, but there was one thing he was pretty certain of as he fell asleep that night. The thought of him and Liam dating for real, of the blonde actually being in love with the older man, of Liam telling Niall that he loved him, was a strangely comforting thing to drift off to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please dont kill me im sorry! D:
> 
> there will only be one more update, which is next friday, but i have a surprise for you guys to make up for this chapter right here so i hope youre all excited :D


	24. Chapter 24

Niall was so nervous, he wasn’t sure how he would survive this when he could barely even think anymore. Not in a million years would he have thought he could be that scared of seeing Liam, of being alone with him. But he hadn’t seen or heard from him in a whole week, the older man didn’t even _know_ that Niall was there, backstage, for his very first concert of the new tour.

They could’ve had that week together, though of course Liam had had to rehearse and stuff, but still, they could have been together all that time, had the blonde not… ruined it. His fingers were almost bleeding because of how nervously he had been biting around on them, still was, heart bumping so fast even though he still had time until he would see Liam.

The reason why Niall was here now, why he had decided to come along with Harry and Louis to go see Liam’s concert, was because a whole week long, he had been at his best friend’s house, had tried not to be too annoying, had thought it all through and then started all over again, not knowing in which direction he was even going. In the end, there had only been one thing left, and Niall knew he needed to tell Liam that, in person, even if maybe the brunette man hated his guts, even if maybe he didn’t want to hear it, but the blonde needed to do it nevertheless.

So that’s why he was here now, with Liam being minutes from going on stage, minutes before Niall would be able to watch him, without the older man even knowing because Louis had told him that the blonde wouldn’t come along. It was almost like the first time Niall had attended one of Liam’s concerts, only now, he wasn’t in the audience, he was hiding backstage, slightly surprised when Paddy didn’t even yell at him when he brought them somewhere to wait, everything of course having been arranged by Louis.

“Thanks… “ Niall mumbled right before the older man’s bodyguard left them alone, having agreed not to tell Liam about any of this, and there was only one reason Niall could imagine that could have made him do this.

“Just… make sure you don’t upset him too much afterwards or something. Liam’s been going a bit crazy last week.” Right, and that was exactly it.

“What do you mean?” The blonde asked before Louis or Harry could cut him off, obviously not wanting Paddy to tell Niall more of that, but not like the man cared.

“He just lost his mind a bit, started changing the setlist literally yesterday and-“

“Wait, what? He changed the setlist? How?” This time it was Louis who was the one shocked, immediately having reacted even before Niall could have even thought about this, just feeling terribly worried now. This was all his fault, he had made Liam feel like shit, had broken his heart like that, and though Louis had been trying not to tell him too much, of course Niall knew that things hadn’t exactly gotten better for Liam, neither had they for him, only now… now a week had passed, and Liam still hadn’t answered his text, hadn’t… done anything at all to contact Niall even though he knew that Louis had been with him all the time. So yeah, Niall was scared shitless, didn’t know what it was that Liam was truly thinking about any of this now, of him. But he was about to find out.

“Yeah, don’t ask me, I don’t really know. I think… he said he wanted to switch some songs or whatever, put in a new one.” Wait, what?

“A new _song_? How? He doesn’t have a new song, I think I’d know if he did.” Well, this was… rather surprising, but obviously, it seemed to freak Louis out more than anyone else. “He didn’t even tell me.”

“Yeah, well, you can talk to him about it if you want, he’s gotta be on stage in a few minutes though.” Originally, the plan had been that they would all wait until the concert was over, that Louis would tell Liam he and Harry had come too late and stay with Niall, but apparently, that had switched around all of a sudden. Niall was literally so confused by all of this, but at the same time he felt so bad and nervous and guilty that there wasn’t really any space for other feelings left.

“Okay… yeah, I… I’ll go talk to him. I’ll be right back, okay? I’ll tell him you’re in the bathroom, Haz.” Louis seemed to think that this was really important, taking both Harry and Niall a bit off guard as he went to kiss the youngest boy briefly before going with Paddy, leaving them to themselves in the spare room Paddy had brought them to. This was all pretty fucked up, wasn’t it?

“That was… weird.” Harry concluded after a second, staring at the closed door for a moment before shaking his head, to himself apparently, before turning around to face Niall, a small smile playing around his lips as he placed a hand on the younger’s shoulder. “You alright? It’ll be fine, Nialler, I promise. He’ll be so happy that you are here.”

But what if he wasn’t?

 

\------------

 

When Louis came back to take them to a place where they could all watch the concert, his mood and facial expression had clearly changed, and there were these looks he exchanged with Harry whenever he thought Niall couldn’t see. As the blonde had asked, all he had gotten as an answer had been that Liam was adding a song that he had written a while ago, nothing else, and really, Niall wouldn’t have thought anything of it at all, but the fact that Louis was acting like it was a big deal almost made him want to throw up.

As they waited for Liam to come on, watching from the side of the stage, Niall was almost overwhelmed, almost having forgotten how all of this felt like, how many people came to see Liam at his concerts, the whole fucking O2 sold out probably, or that’s what it looked like anyways. The other two were standing back a bit, probably whispering to each other, but the blonde didn’t even care anymore, his eyes were glued on where he knew Liam would come out any second now, so desperate to see him that his heart was aching. He had never missed Liam as much as during this week.

Had never missed _anyone_ this much.

Of course neither Harry nor Louis ever told Niall what their whole secrecy and the song thing was about, but in all honesty, the blonde had forgotten about it as soon as the lights had changed, and everyone had started screaming their heads off and for some reason, Niall felt tears building up in his eyes, his heart off beat as he waited, almost biting his lip bleeding.

Liam looked fucking incredible when he came out, almost making Niall feel a bit light headed as he stared at the man on stage, still giving his 100% because he always did, despite the fact that Niall had broken his heart, despite the fact that there had been ‘break up’ rumors about them all week long, because Liam was just the guy to post sad lyrics on Twitter when he didn’t feel well, not giving one comment though, or deleting any pictures of Niall he had put up on the Internet. As if everything was still the way it was.

But it wasn’t, because of Niall, because he had been scared, still was, had hurt Liam though he had never meant to. Just hopefully the older man could forgive him, because now Niall knew what it was that he needed to tell Liam, now he knew what it was that he wanted and he could only pray to god that it wasn’t too late. That he hadn’t hurt Liam so much that the older man didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, which would have been understandable, honestly.

The whole concert long, Niall didn’t once take his eyes off of Liam, just memorized the way he moved, getting goosebumps from his voice, whenever he just normally spoke to the crowd, making it so hard to think that anything could have been up with him. Had Niall not known better, had he not heard the sighs Louis had let out every time after he had talked to Liam on the phone, after he had asked him whether he needed to come and Liam had declined, the blonde would have thought that Liam had already moved on.

Not that he thought so highly of himself, that he’d think anybody should be crying over him or something, but he knew Liam after all, that even if he hadn’t had any feelings for Niall, ending their friendship alone was something that would have been enough to break him, just like it had broken Niall as well. But he was about to fix it, if Liam allowed him to and if Niall wouldn’t pass out from nervousness before that.

Of course Niall had heard every song on Liam’s new album, but he hadn’t known what the setlist was supposed to be like, so he thought maybe Louis had freaked out for nothing, or maybe because of some song Liam had put on that he didn’t approve of or whatever, causing Niall to completely forget about this whole thing. Which was a big mistake.

Sometime towards the end, maybe already the last song, Niall didn’t know because time had flown by just like that, bringing the moment closer where Liam would get off stage and hopefully agree to talk to Niall, the older man suddenly started saying things that highly confused the younger boy. At first, he thought Liam was just thanking the crowd and everything, just holding a normal ending speech, but then… then suddenly, he didn’t.

“So this is the last song and… originally it was going to be something else, but I… none of you have heard this song before, but I wrote it a while ago. I wrote it for… for somebody who’s very special to me, and they don’t know it either and I never got a chance to play it for them but here it is, I hope you guys will like it.” No… no _fucking_ way.

Almost immediately, Niall turned around, almost breaking his neck as he searched for Louis’ eyes, silently asking whether this was really what he thought it was, and as the older man nodded, the blonde was up and ready to just storm off and lock himself into the bathroom or something. Liam…. had written a song for him? For Niall?! And he… he had never said anything! And now he was gonna sing it? Without ever having played it to anyone?! After everything Niall had done?

“Ni, stop.” Harry was quick to grab the blonde’s arm as Niall had slowly backed away, not knowing what to think, and Liam hadn’t even started yet. He couldn’t believe this.

“I… I can’t, Haz, he-“

“Niall, he wrote it for you, and only you. He told me that… that since you’ll never get to hear it, he wants to sing it just one time, the way he would have if you had been there.” Louis finally explained, his voice sounding pained and Niall couldn’t do anything but stare at him, his throat having gone dry, not even fighting Harry’s grip anymore.

“But… but why?” He never got an answer to that, because that was when Liam started singing, and maybe Niall didn’t even need an answer because he knew, he knew why Liam had decided to sing the song now. Because he thought it was over, he was _convinced_ that it was over and no idea what Louis and Liam had been talking about on the phone all the time, but it definitely hadn’t been encouraging words coming from Louis. Niall was such a fuck up. ( **Just wanna add this in here, the song I was thinking about that Liam wrote for Niall is 1D’s ‘I Want To Write You A Song’, if you need me to explain why just leave me a comment but I think it’s pretty clear!** )

At first, Niall tried to keep it together as he listened to Liam’s voice, kinda glad now for Harry’s hand still resting on his arm as they watched the older man on stage, not jumping around like crazy this time, because it wouldn’t have fit the song at all. It wasn’t sad or anything, but it still touched Niall deeply, the tears he had been holding back just randomly spilling over, with no point to wipe them away.

He couldn’t believe that Liam had written a song for him, when they had once even joked about it, and the older man had gone ahead and had done it for real, probably not planning on letting Niall hear it until he had… told him about his feelings, and now he was out there, singing a song he had written for Niall to listen to for whenever they couldn’t see each other, thinking that he was never even gonna see the blonde again. Maybe that’s why Liam started crying as well.

It was terrible really, having to watch him like this, not being able to say anything, or do anything, besides standing there and bawling like a fucking baby as well, like, Niall would have never thought it’d come to this, it literally felt like the worst moment in his entire life. And yet at the same time, his heart was swelling, filling his stomach with warmth as he listened, not being able to believe that somebody could like him this much that they’d do this for him, that Liam genuinely loved him, had for months.

Niall had figured it out before, during that terrible week, had planned on telling Liam today, but as he looked at the man on stage now, there was no single doubt anymore in his mind that he was so in love with him that it hurt.

 

\-------------

 

When Liam got off stage, he thought he would stumble any second because he couldn’t see anything, his eyes blurry from tears and nothing to wipe them off with really except his hands, having people helping him to take off his in-ears and everything, but he barely even noticed. Why had he ever thought he’d manage to sing that song without starting to break out into fucking tears?

It didn’t take long before Louis had found him, only a matter of minutes, and just like before, Harry wasn’t with him but Liam barely even noticed, just hugged his best friend back tightly, eyes pressed closed in an attempt to keep maybe a bit of his pride, but he couldn’t seem to stop crying and he wasn’t even really trying to anymore.

This whole week had been… absolute hell. Liam had no idea what to, how to carry on, because yeah, he had felt heartache before, but never like this. He was missing Niall, from the moment he woke up to when he was lying in bed again at night, unable to fall asleep, keeping himself busy the whole day so he wouldn’t have too much time to think. Louis had asked him multiple times if he should come, keep him company, but Liam had declined every single time, not even wanting anybody there anymore and see him like this. By now, he was just happy if he got from one day to the other.

How could losing Niall hurt that badly? So much Liam sometimes felt like he couldn’t even breathe? This couldn’t have been healthy, but Liam couldn’t help overthinking, couldn’t help imaging the ‘what if’s, even if he knew very well that there was nothing he could have done, nothing he could do now to get the blonde back. It’d never be like it had been.

“That was one great song, Payno.” Louis didn’t ask about the crying and Liam was very thankful for that, because there was no need to talk about it anymore, not when everything had already been said. “When the hell did you write that?”

“I… I don’t know… a while back… “ Liam could barely even speak through his tears, still holding onto Louis and refusing to open his eyes. He had written that song over the course of a few weeks, a bit after he and Niall had been talking about it, about how Liam had never written a song for anyone, when he had thought the blonde had been acting a bit too jealous at the thought of Liam writing songs for somebody else. The older man would have just never thought that he would ever sing it on stage, hadn’t even been sure if Niall would have liked it, but he’d never find out now. “I… I miss him so much, Lou… “

“I know… “ Of course he did, Liam had told him that often enough during the last few days, when he hadn’t been able to pretend that everything was alright anymore, when he had been so fucking close to just text Niall, answer that message the blonde had sent him the day… it had happened. But what would have been the point? Niall didn’t want to carry on like before and in all honesty, Liam wasn’t even sure how long he would have survived it. Like, doing all these things with the intention to share his feelings, with the hope that the younger boy liked him back, was a whole lot different than doing all this stuff while knowing for sure that this would be everything there’d ever be for them. “It’ll be alright, Liam… he would have loved the song.”

“Probably n-not… “ Why would he have? It would have probably made him feel uncomfortable, since he had no feelings for Liam and the older man did feel slightly guilty, for putting that song out there, with everyone knowing that it was about Niall though he had never said it. One thing was for sure, he was never ever gonna sing that song again.

“Well… you could always just ask him yourself, Li.” What?

The younger man had no idea what Louis was talking about, took way too long as to even fully take it in, not realizing what was going on as his friend slowly but surely pulled out of the hug and Liam let him, though he didn’t want to, rubbing at his eyes again in a poor attempt to do some damage repair. “Why… why would I do that?”

“Because… “ Louis started, suddenly starting to smile a little bit and Liam was honestly about to get slightly pissed off, ‘cos like… he was being emotional and now Louis was just standing there and making fun of him? “He heard all of it.”

“What? B-But… how d-“

And before Liam could even finish, someone had tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, thinking it was maybe Paddy or a staff member, but all he saw was Harry, for the split of a second feeling embarrassed because of how his face probably looked like, but then… then his eyes shifted once more, landing on the very last person he would have expected to see standing a few feet behind Harry.

Niall.

But… why would he come? Why would he… even bother? Liam was aware that Niall didn’t hate him or anything, that they had been really good fucking friends until a week ago, but… Niall had left by choice, he had been the one who had told Liam everything would change that… that there was no way they’d ever… and now he was here?!

Even more surprising than just seeing Niall’s face that Liam was just dumbly staring at with his mouth hanging open, was the fact that the younger’s eyes seemed to be red as well, as were his cheeks, wet with tear trails, the expression on his face the furthest from happy it could have been. And yet Liam felt his heart skipping five beats, felt an urge to just step forward and wrap Niall up into his arm until he’d lose ground underneath his feet, beg him to take him back, as whatever, if only they could be talking normally to each other again.

“Niall… “ Was all Liam brought out, suddenly feeling really dizzy, even forgetting to keep on crying as he waited for somebody to explain, even though he couldn’t have even concentrated on any of the other two because literally all he saw Niall. God, Liam missed him so fucking much. “What… “

“Hi… “ The blonde almost seemed embarrassed, could barely even look at Liam and the older man saw the guilt in his face, feeling his stomach drop at the thought that there was a possibility Niall had only come out of pity. But why had he been crying then? It was stupid that even now, in a situation like this, Liam felt his insides tightening when he saw the younger boy sad or down, immediately wanting to go and hold him just because of that, make sure he was alright again. But he probably wouldn’t have wanted that anymore, did he? “I… I um… I heard the, uh… song… “

“Oh… “ Right, of course he had, he was here after all, but Liam suddenly didn’t know anymore how he felt about that, the fact that Niall had most likely seen him crying on stage, but then again… he would have seen it online anyways, because the older man didn’t even want to know what was being talked about there right now. He knew that eventually, he’d have to tell people that he and Niall were… over, but… he just hadn’t managed to do it just now. “I… “

The situation was just getting more awkward, with Louis and Harry just standing there as well, nobody speaking for a second and Liam was suddenly sure that they could all hear his heart beating because of how fast it was going upon just being in the same building as Niall, the boy being so close yet so far. And god, not that it mattered but Liam probably looked like shit, sweaty and blushed and half crying, even though… how could he have not been?

“Liam, can we, um… “ Niall seemed to need all his courage to get this out, he wasn’t even looking at Liam but at his own hands, and the older man would have probably done the exact same thing had their positions been switched. “If you don’t… don’t want to, I… I’d understand, but… can we maybe… talk?”

“I… yeah, sure, we, uh… we can.” Was it really a good idea though? Nope, but Liam was desperate, he loved Niall, he missed him, he would have done anything to get him back, even if he’d just end up hurting even more. “We can… go to, uh, my dressing room… if you want.”

“Yeah… yeah, okay… “ The blonde seemed to be momentarily relieved while Liam just felt his stomach tightening a bit because he had no idea what was about to come, not even daring to throw a look at Louis as he started walking into the right direction, slowly, kinda relieved when Niall immediately followed.

This was wrong, whatever Niall was about to suggest, maybe out of pity, that they could try to be normal friends or whatever, Liam knew he shouldn’t have agreed, maybe shouldn’t have even listened to it, should have told Niall to leave because it had been his choice alone. But Liam couldn’t have done that, he was so in love with this boy that he would have done anything he asked for, always had felt this way, and it wasn’t going to change now. Maybe never.

There was a strange spark of hope growing inside of Liam as they walked to his dressing room without talking or even looking at each other, and he tried to suppress that feeling, tried to keep his hopes as low as possible, but he was desperate and lonely and heart broken, so how exactly was he supposed to behave?

It didn’t even seem real, to see Niall in his dressing room just like that, so unexpected, in a place where Liam had almost had a fucking mental breakdown like three hours ago because of the blonde, and now he simply closed the door behind them, softly, blocking out almost every sound from outside. Alright, he needed to keep calm, no matter what would be the outcome of this.

“So, uh… “ Niall started after a few seconds, probably having watched as Liam had weirdly walked across the room to get himself a towel in order to wipe his face and neck a bit, feeling hot not only because of the situation but also because he had literally just gotten off stage. “You… are probably wondering why… why I’m here.”

“Um, yeah… “ Well, thinking about it, Louis and Harry had probably forced Niall to come, it made sense as well, why would the blonde want to stay behind at Harry’s house if the other two left? Then again… Liam wasn’t sure if they would have asked him to come, it’s not like they were purposely trying to torture the brunette man or something, right?

“Well, I… “ The blonde was so uncomfortable it almost hurt Liam to watch him just standing there, leaning against the door, occasionally wiping at his eyes while he kept them on the ground, obviously not knowing what to do with his hands. This was terrible, Liam had no idea why they were doing this themselves, but what could he have done to make it any easier when he felt like an absolute wreck, when his heart seemed to be bleeding just from looking at Niall? “I just wanted to… to tell you that… that I’m sorry, Liam, I… I really am and I… I’m sorry you didn’t have your best friend with you ‘cos he was where I was and I… I just want you to know that… that I was worried sick about you all week long I just didn’t… I didn’t know what to do, Liam, and I talked to Louis and Harry and… “

“Niall, you… you don’t have to, uh, feel sorry for me. Or pity me, I… it’s alright.” No, it wasn’t, but more than anything did Liam hate the idea of Niall doing this to simply try and make him feel better. “You didn’t have to come just to… I’m sorry that… that you had to hear the song, I had no idea you were there, I just… wanted to sing it one time… “

“You don’t have to be sorry, Li, I… I really like the song and I… it made me cry too, I… why’d you… why’d you never tell me you wrote it?” Was that a necessary question really?

“I was going to… after I, uh… told you the other thing, I just… I know it would’ve made you uncomfortable.” This conversation was so bad, it was like they were dancing around the _thing_ and Liam had no idea what this was supposed to lead to, why Niall had wanted to talk to him, just so he could apologize again? It wasn’t the blonde’s fault, yeah, they had had a short fight and the younger boy had freaked out, but he had already apologized for everything, had explained his feelings to Liam, so what else was he trying to do here? “Niall, look, I… you don’t have to feel bad for me. I know that… that this isn’t easy, for neither of us, but… I know how you feel about this and I… I think you’re right, what you said, about us not being able to carry on like nothing happened. And I’m sorry that… I never answered your text message, I just…. I didn’t know what to say.”

And he also didn’t know what to say now, when Niall had his head down, as if Liam was hurting him with this even though _he_ had been the one saying they couldn’t carry on like that anymore. Which was true, but now Niall was acting like he hadn’t known, his voice sounding so pained that the older man almost felt guilty for what he had said. “Liam, I… I didn’t come because… because I feel bad for you, or guilty or… I wanted to…. to tell you something, because… I had one week to think this all through and I… when you told me a few days ago, I… I panicked and I said all these things and then I ran away, but I… “

“What do you mean?” What was he on about anyways? Liam had sat down on the armrest of the couch he had, a few meters away from Niall, just watching the younger boy fighting for words, at least both of them having stopped crying now.

“I… Liam, I… I’ve never… been… in a serious relationship, I… the thought of you… liking me like that was… it came out of nowhere and I… I never considered it and so I… I said all these things, because… because I thought that there was no way that I… and because I… because I was scared and I ran away and then at Harry’s I already… already regretted it and then… “ Wait… what?

“Niall, we… I know you maybe said a few things that you didn’t mean, but… but you were right, I… I don’t think it’d be a good idea for us to…. to remain friends, like, being close like that, I… “ Maybe someday again, but definitely not now and though Liam felt so tempted to just ask whether Niall had changed his mind, whether he now wanted to try carrying on like nothing had happened, he needed to be strong. How’d he ever get over the boy otherwise, how’d he ever make it stop hurting like this? “Look, we… I know none of us feels great right now, I just… why’d you… really come, Niall?”

The blonde didn’t seem to know how to answer, only getting Liam more confused and at the same time more depressed because he knew in a few hours, he’d be in bed by himself again anyways, possibly crying and unable to find sleep. “I… I just… Liam, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just… I needed time to think about it and I didn’t know I was just… trying to lie to myself and I’d understand… I’d understand if you’re mad at me for putting you through hell and now asking for forgiveness, I just…”

“What… what are you talking about?” Liam wasn’t mad at him, there was nothing to forgive, was there?

This time, Niall needed ever longer before he was able to answer, it almost seemed like he would burst into tears again any second and Liam could barely take it, yeah, he felt bad as well but what was going on with Niall, why did he look like he was in serious physical pain? “Liam, I… I know that… that this is stupid and that it’s all my fault and I don’t wanna find any excuses at all I just… needed time to figure this out, figure myself out and…. I just wanted to ask if… if you were still, uh… ready to… to try it?”

“Try what?” Being friends? Or fuck buddies? Why would he ask that?!

“I-I… I mean… y-you and… me… ?” _What the hell?!_

“Niall, I… what do you mean, I… why would you… I know you don’t have any feelings for me, why would you want that? I don’t… I don’t need you to pretend, I… “ Had he gone insane? Liam couldn’t even grasp a clear thought anymore, his mouth half open as he looked at Niall, who was still avoiding his eyes, trying to figure out what the hell had gotten into him. Why’d he ever think Liam would want him to _pretend_?!

“No, that’s…. that’s not what I meant, I… Liam… I meant that… that I wanna try it… for real, I…. I know what I said a few days ago but I… I just did because I panicked because… because I didn’t know what I wanted, but I… being without you was so terrible, I miss you so much and I… can you… can you tell me again? What you… what you told me a week ago? That…. that you… love me? So that… so that I can give you a proper answer this t-time?” When he was finished, there was a fresh tear dropping down Niall’s cheek, and Liam could barely even breathe anymore, still not having figured out what it was that the blonde was trying to tell him, his throat feeling dry and tight.

“I… I love you.” Liam hadn’t even thought twice before saying it, hadn’t even thought about why Niall would even want him to do it, but if he asked to hear it, why wouldn’t the brunette man do it? It was the truth after all.

For just the split of a second, their eyes met, and Liam didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know what Niall was trying to do, all he knew was that his heart almost stopped when the blonde did reply, quietly, with his head hung rather low again, fingers twisted together. “I… I love you too, bean… and I… if you still want me, then…. I… I know now what I want and… and I know I said a lot of wrong things and that I hurt you, but… I want _you_ , and nobody else, and I’ve never been in love before I met you but… if somebody asked me, I… I’d describe it like this.”

 _Oh_.

Liam’s eyes had grown so wide, he was scared they might pop out any second, his heart bumping faster than it ever had. He didn’t doubt Niall’s words, didn’t doubt that the blonde was speaking the truth, everything he had said had sounded more than sincere and Liam had no idea why the younger boy would have made any of this up, but it seemed too good to be true, like… had he just _really_ said that?! That he… that he loved Liam too? That he wanted to… be with him? That hadn’t been a damn illusion, right?!

“Li, I… you don’t have to say anything, I… I know I hurt you a lot, I just… I want you to know that…. I just needed time to wrap my head around this concept, I… I was so scared, I still somehow am and… I’ve never been with anybody like that, or been that committed to someone, but… that’s no excuse still. I’m sorry I ran away from my feelings and I’m sorry I hurt you like this and let you wait for so long and I’m sorry I was being so blind and so stubborn, but I… I really do love you, and I know it now, I know I do, and I know I wanna be with you, always. So… would you maybe… maybe try and… forgive me? I know I was wrong, I… had these really long conversations with Louis and Harry and they… they really helped me, and I’m not pretending, I would never do this to you, Li, you’re the most important person to me and knowing that I’d maybe never see you again I… I couldn’t have survived that, and maybe the time away was good because it really showed me that I really do feel a whole lot more than friendship for you, things I’ve never felt before and they were there all along, I just… didn’t know what to do with them. But I do know now, bean, and hearing the song you wrote for me and seeing you cry and knowing it was all my fault, that we could have had all of this so much sooner is killing me… I… I really love you. A whole damn lot… so… so if you still, um… if you still want me as well, then… “ Oh… thank god.

Liam didn’t even need to think about it anymore after that, didn’t even need to answer, because _of course_ he still wanted Niall, would always want him, and hearing him say all these things was enough for Liam to get rid of that way too big distance between them, probably taking the younger boy by surprise by how quickly he had his hands on either side of his face before finally, _finally_ , kissing him again after what felt like ages.

Yeah, Liam was still sweaty and his heartbeat was still going too fast and ten minutes ago he had been crying, but feeling Niall’s lips against his now, the younger boy immediately grabbing onto him and relaxing his jaw with a sigh, somehow caused everything to fall back into place and the older man couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as he was crowding the blonde against the door, kissing him desperately.

This didn’t feel too different from anything they had done before and yet it made Liam feel different in so many ways. There were the usual goosebumps, the usual warmth spreading all through his body, but there was also so much relief and so much happiness and reassurance that this was right, that this was what it had been supposed to be like all along. Just knowing that Niall loved him that, that he wanted to be with Liam just as much as the other way around, was the best thing Liam had ever felt in his entire life.

“I love you… I love you so fucking much, Nialler…” The older man couldn’t hold back anymore, still chasing the younger’s lips as they had both started to run short of breath, finally getting to say these things he had been holding back for so long, mumbling them against the younger’s warm skin.

“I love you too, Liam… I really do…“ Niall almost only whispered, body arching into Liam’s, his words sending sparks all the way down the brunette’s spine, making him smile even wider than he already had before. Fuck, this could only be a dream, how come Liam deserved this? “Have for a while… I just didn’t know… “

“’s okay… “ As long as he knew now, that’s all Liam cared about. They had both started to pant, but Liam kept on placing random kisses onto Niall’s face, anywhere he could reach, slowly lowering his arms to instead hold onto the younger’s waist, feeling Niall’s circling his neck in return, keeping each other closer until they ended up hugging for real, tightly, because nothing else really mattered, just this right here. “I missed you so much, Ni…”

“I missed you too… it was terrible and I… I felt so bad for it because I know you’ve probably been feeling even worse… “ Maybe he had, but it didn’t matter anymore now because Liam had his arms wrapped around Niall, as tightly as he could without hurting him, his face pressed into the younger’s shoulder and the smile still painted on his lips as tears were building up in his eyes once more. Pretty sure that was the best fucking moment he’d ever experience.

“It’s alright now, Nialler, I… I would have never thought that you’d… I was so convinced you meant all of that, and that I imagined you acting like you might like me back… “ Pretty much whenever he hadn’t said things like how great it was that they were just friends or Liam wouldn’t have even had the courage to tell the boy in the first place. That was also a reason why he had been so extremely crushed down because… because everyone had thought Niall at least felt _something_ for Liam.

“I know… ‘m sorry I was being such a dick, I was just…I don’t even know anymore. I was scared… and I thought there was no way that I could ever like you ‘cos I’ve never liked anybody like that and I… I didn’t know if what I felt for you is enough to be… to be considered being in love, you know? And I was scared that if I miss it up that… that I’d lose your for real or that I’d end up hurting both of us even more...“ His voice had gotten more quiet once more and Liam held on even tighter, rocking them a bit from side to side, just softly.

“It’s okay, Ni, you don’t have to be scared at all, I promise. I know this is all new to you and you can tell me whenever something is up or whenever you’re uncomfortable, but… being in a relationship is not that different from what we’ve already been doing all along.” Not at all, actually.

“I know… well, except for the fact that you can now tell me how much you love me as often as you feel like it.” That made Liam laugh, mostly because his mood was at a high already, but also because Niall seemed to be so serious about it, excited almost.

“Oh, am I allowed to, yeah?” Liam asked, voice only slightly mocking, his chest feeling all light, like it hadn’t in fucking ages.

“Yeah… if you want.” Oh, Liam definitely wanted to, wanted to tell Niall every second of the day, to make up for every day he hadn’t been able to do it, all these months long, so he definitely had something to do for the next… years, hopefully. Or forever. “Liam…?”

“Yeah?” Maybe the brunette man would have gotten nervous, but there was literally nothing now that could have gotten him upset anymore, he had Niall back, all to himself, _he_ was the one the blonde had fallen in love with, and no one else. So what really would he have ever had to be nervous about again?

“Can I, um… stay at your place tonight? I don’t really… wanna stay at Louis’ place… and I… I kinda… haven’t been able to sleep properly the last few nights and-“

“Niall, do you really think I’d send you home with Louis now? Of course you’re staying with me, for the rest of your break and I won’t let you leave.” Okay, maybe this had sounded slightly possessive, but Liam couldn’t help it, they had only lost one week, but… it had felt like a damn fucking year to be honest.

“Okay… just checking… thank you.” The blonde sounded really relieved, all loose now in Liam’s arms, and relaxed, humming a bit whenever the older man would kiss his head. Which was, every two seconds. “I kinda… left all my stuff at Harry’s though.”

“That’s okay, you can just wear my clothes. Or I’ll buy you new stuff, whatever you want.” Whatever he wanted unless it was going to Harry’s place to get them because there was no way Liam would be able to not see the blonde for almost a whole day after this.

“Okay… I love you.” Niall adding that almost sounded like he was testing how it’d sound, and he seemed to like it because he turned his head a bit, lips grazing Liam’s bare neck, giving him more than just a few goosebumps as he smiled into the younger’s blonde hair.

“I love you too, Nialler… “ He’d have to go shower and change and they’d have to tell Louis and Harry and leave at some point but… that could wait for a while, because for once, everything was perfectly fine exactly the way it was.

 

\-------------

 

“Alright lovebirds, settle down. Don’t know if we can leave you alone like that, you might try to run off and get married or something.” Louis was having a great laugh with this, but it was different now than any time before, more carefree, lighter somehow, not even causing Niall to pull away with blushed cheeks anymore. Liam needed to remember to really thank his best friend, and Harry, for everything they had done for them, for putting up with them and their stubbornness.

They were almost at Liam’s house now, all of them having gotten into the same van, way later than originally intended. But it was understandable, after what had happened tonight, Liam was still buzzing with all of it, probably would for the next month or so before he’d actually and truly be able to believe that Niall was his bloody boyfriend now.

It had taken a while before they had managed to pull apart in Liam’s dressing room, just having lingered in the moment, taken each other in, trying to believe that all of this was real. But it was, Niall was right there next to Liam, not having let go of him ever since they had had their talk, even having tried to get Liam to stay when he had been about to have a shower. It was something Liam loved, having Niall being clingy and all over him, especially tonight after they hadn’t seen each other in so long, after Liam had already lost all hope. And now it had suddenly turned around to be the best night he could have ever imagined it to be, suddenly it all seemed worth it and Liam didn’t even know anymore how he would have continued had Niall not shown up tonight.

Of course Louis and Harry had known about what Niall had been about to do, or tell Liam more like, and the brunette man had even forgotten to be mad at Louis for not giving him a bit of a head’s up to make him feel better because he was way too busy. Their best friends hadn’t looked very surprised, but very relieved, when they had gone looking for them after what had seemed like ages, holding hands again, not really having had to say much at all to explain the situation. They knew after all.

So short, it was perfect, though it had only been like… 2 hours or something, but Liam was already on cloud nine, not being able to get enough of touching Niall, though the blonde was sitting right next to him in the car, opposite the other two, head comfortably resting on Liam’s shoulder and their fingers intertwined on the older’s lap. Pretty sure that if Liam would ever get a glimpse of heaven, it’d feel exactly like this.

“We’re not even doing anything, Tommo.” They had just kissed, not even that long either, but Liam still felt his cheeks burning, trying to wipe that grin off his face as soon as Niall had his head back on his shoulder, squeezing his hand.

“Well, it’s fine if you do, took you guys long enough after all.” He let out a laugh, but he seemed very happy as well, as did Harry, and Liam knew that they had had a hard time with this as well, would have had an even harder one had none of this been solved after all. Liam was so thankful that they had been there for Niall like that, because yeah, the older man had been the one who had gotten his heart broken, but he had had to work and rehearse, whereas the blonde was on summer break with nothing to do. And it’s not like all of this had left him cold or anything. “Are we gonna see you two tomorrow?”

“If y-“

“Nope.” Niall was the one who answered, interrupting Liam, probably not even having thought about it and Liam didn’t need to see his face to know that he was grinning, his stomach feeling warmer as a consequence from knowing that the blonde would rather be alone with him.

“Why? What’re you gonna do tomorrow?” Harry asking sounded more like a joke, he was smirking at the younger boy, probably just trying to tease him. But nothing seemed to have been able to get Niall worked up now.

“I don’t really think you want me to tell you that.” Yeah, that sounded like a pretty good explanation to Liam. Though he wasn’t planning on… lying in bed naked all day tomorrow, but just being alone with Niall, being allowed to pull him close and cuddle him and kiss him and tell him he loved him all he wanted sounded like a damn good plan.

“Gross, Nialler. You’ve been dating since a few hours only, you can’t immediately sleep with him.” Technically that was true, but… Liam actually liked to think that they’ve been dating for a lot longer, and everyone else would say the same thing, so… “You gotta at least go on one date.”

They had never been on a date actually, not a real one, and now that Harry had mentioned it, Liam felt the incredible urge to take Niall on one, as soon as possible, because these were the kinda things Liam was really good at, at being somebody’s boyfriend, and he really needed to contain himself so he wouldn’t immediately overwhelm the younger boy. Well, but it was fine if it came from him though, right? “Fine… Li, d’you… wanna go on a date with me?”

“Oh… sure.” Liam couldn’t help but feel his heart swelling a bit, despite the situation, but Niall had hesitated for a moment, as if he had been slightly taken aback, as if it had been serious. Well, if it hadn’t been, Liam would take him on a date regardless. On hundreds of dates actually, to make up for all the time that he hadn’t been able to.

No one else said anything afterwards, but Liam could very clearly see the looks Harry and Louis exchanged before grinning, pretending though that he had been busy kissing the top of Niall’s head, playing with the younger’s fingers in his lap, not minding anymore though that the other two could see every single thing they did. Pretty sure he would never care about that ever again.

 

\-----------------

 

“Are you tired?” Niall felt a little bit caught as he hadn’t been able to hold back that yawn, shaking his head nevertheless and making Liam chuckle a bit, still busy cleaning up some stuff in his room while the younger boy just watched from the bed. The bed he had missed so freaking much, smelling just like Liam and giving him butterflies in his stomach just from lying there, not being able to believe that everything had worked out like that, that he got to be here now, watching the older man smiling and being so very clearly happy about this. For a while, Niall had almost thought he’d never get to see that smile directed towards him ever again. “It’s fine if you are, Nialler.”

“Just… just a bit.” The blonde lied, returning Liam’s smile though as he slid down a bit deeper on the mattress, pulling up the blanket a bit higher. He knew he was lying on Liam’s side, on his spot, but the older man hadn’t said anything and so Niall had decided that maybe he liked the fact that the younger boy had done it, just like he had gotten the happiest face just a few minutes ago, when the blonde had asked whether he could borrow his sleep shirt. Making Liam happy like that was Niall’s favorite thing, because the older man made him so happy as well that the blonde could have bursted with it at this point.

“I’ll be there in a second, just gotta put this away, okay?” No idea what had happened to Liam’s room for it to be such a mess, but Niall would have rather not thought about it actually, just nodding as the brunette man held up something for a second, already having to suppress a yawn again. “Don’t fall asleep in the meantime, babe.”

“I’ll try… “ Niall smiled, letting his eyes fall closed for a second as he heard Liam walking to the bathroom, for the first time in a week actually feeling like he would be able to sleep just fine, without nightmares or waking up in the middle of the night. Or worse, lying awake for hours to begin with.

Then again, it had been Niall’s own fault, for needing so much time, for being so scared about something he had been doing all along anyways. And he saw it now, how easy it was between them, how natural, as if it had always meant to be this way. Finally, he didn’t have to suppress any of these feelings anymore he had done off as nothing, he could be as clingy as he wanted with Liam, be all over him and kiss him every twelve seconds because he knew the older man enjoyed the hell out of it as well, wanted to have Niall as close as possible as well.

The fact that Liam had forgiven him so easily, had taken him back just like that, wasn’t something Niall was taking for granted at all. He knew that Liam was in love with him, and yet Niall had been a douchebag and stubborn and an idiot, giving the older man enough reason to at least tell him that he needed to think about it. But he hadn’t, had just taken Niall off guard and kissed him like that, like they had never kissed before, and it had been the best thing in the entire world.

Waking up this morning, Niall almost had had to throw up from nervousness, from being so bloody scared, not only because he had been about to see Liam and tell him, but also of what was to follow, and then watching Liam’s concert, hearing him sing that song for him, hadn’t really helped him overcome that. But now, lying here waiting for the brunette to return, there was no single doubt anymore inside of Niall that he loved this man, with every fiber of his body, always had, and though it might have taken him… a bit way too long to finally realize that, it felt absolutely incredible now.

Liam came back just a few minutes later, in his usual sweatpants that he always wore for bed, no shirt because Niall already had it on, his face maybe even happier than it had been before, if that was even possible. “You’re still awake.”

“Yeah… couldn’t sleep without you.” Though Niall made it sound like a joke, there was a lot of truth hidden in his word and they both knew it, both having had trouble sleeping without each other. Since months already. “Come here...”

“One second.” Not yet going to lie in Niall’s outstretched arms, the older man instead went to go and turn off every light except the one on his bedside table, laughing when he saw the blonde’s fake pout, his arms having gotten too weak to hold them up literally the moment he had lifted them. “I’m already there, Ni.”

“Took you too long though… “ As soon as Liam was attempting to get into bed as well, Niall was unwilling to move away from the older’s usual spot, mostly because he was tired but also because he just liked lying where he knew Liam had lied so often, where everything smelled like him. “Can’t move, Payno… ‘m too tired, sorry you gotta take the other side.”

“Or… or we could just share it.” Hmm… yeah, that idea definitely sounded better.

They ended up so squeezed together on the bed that it almost seemed ridiculous, with their legs intertwined and their chests so close that they could barely look at each other, but somehow Liam still managed to get his arm around Niall, pressing a firm kiss to his lips, not bothering to really pull away as he spoke.

“I’m so happy… “ It was only slightly louder than a whisper, but they were all alone, with no sound audible other than their breathing or the sheets moving with them, and Niall felt his cheeks going hot for some reason, something that usually always happened to Liam, but now that… now that they were saying all these things to each other, such intimate things, Niall couldn’t have helped it.

“I’m happier… “ He joked, immediately hearing a grunt of protest that he drowned out by kissing Liam again, trying to really take in that moment their lips were pressed against one another, the way Liam felt against him like this, sharing a blanket with him, almost touching in every way possible, getting him all emotional and soft inside. “… I love you… “

“I love you too, baby…” Liam had never called Niall that before, but the blonde almost immediately took a liking to it, feeling a bit stupid for a second because it almost made him feel special, proud, but he was, he _was_ proud to be allowed to call Liam his boyfriend and there was nothing wrong with it either. “Can’t believe how… how all of this turned out.”

“Yeah, me neither… “ Pulling apart, the blonde almost had to giggle quite stupidly when Liam rubbed their noses together, his hot breath hitting Niall’s skin, the look in his eyes so loving that it almost forced the younger one to lower his. How could he have not seen this all along? That Liam had been in love with him? That _he_ had watched the older man with that same damn look in his eyes all the time? “Could’ve had this so much sooner… if I hadn’t been an idiot…”

“I don’t think one week will affect us that much, love, it’s alright.” His voice was all soft and sweet, hand brushing some hair out of Niall’s forehead before just continuing to card through with his fingers, pulling a bit at it when he got to the back of Niall’s neck, probably because he knew it’d get the blonde even sleepier than he had already been anyways. “And you’re not an idiot, Niall… you needed your time to think about it and figure out what you wanted and that’s alright, you’re here now and everything is alright, that’s all that matters, yeah?”

“I know… but-“

“No but’s anymore, okay? Everything’s good, Nialler, I promise.” Better than just good, but Niall couldn’t help the guilt still bugging him a bit, he’d try extra hard from now on to make it up to Liam, the older man deserved it after all, deserved only the best because that’s what he was always trying to give Niall as well.

They stayed quiet for a moment, Liam’s fingers still brushing through Niall’s hair evenly, eventually closing the small gap between them once more, just lazily kissing and yet with so much passion that the blonde started to feel hot all over again, trying to press closer into Liam, even though he was way too tired as to really do anything. At least that explained why he spoke without thinking though, almost feeling embarrassed for it afterwards. “I’m so lucky… “

“Why?” Liam asked, not having caught on and Niall was glad that they had their foreheads pressed together now so the older man couldn’t see his face.

“Because I got you… “ Alright, now Niall was definitely embarrassed, even though it was only Liam and even though he always felt comfortable around with, saying these things was new to him and it’d take a bit to get used to. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t feel an incredible urge to. “And you’re so sweet… and caring and… and I know I can always count on you and that you’d always be there for me and even when I was acting like a complete dick you… you still decided to forgive me and to give me a second chance and I… I really don’t take any of this for granted, Li… I love you… so much, I really do and I… I wish I would have said this earlier, but… just thank you, for being you, I guess, because… I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

There was a moment of silence, and Niall was almost scared he had yet again managed to make Liam cry again, though it would have been for a good reason this time, and there definitely were a few tears shimmering in Liam’s eyes as he pulled away just a bit, but mostly, he was just smiling. The kinda smile that made Niall’s knees weak and his breathing unsteady, the kinda smile Liam had mostly only reserved for him, with his dimple showing and his eyes all crinkly and god… making him this happy was really everything Niall wanted to do for the rest of his life. “I’m definitely luckier.”

“No, you aren’t.” Rolling his eyes just a bit with a smirk on his lips, Niall was kinda glad that this wasn’t turning into a really emotional talk, he didn’t need that to know how much it meant to Liam, he could read it right in his face.

“Sure, I am, Nialler, you’re absolutely amazing and you don’t even know it. Why else would I have been in love with you from the that I met you?” Oh, that sap.

“You totally weren’t, Li, I’m pretty sure you never wanted to see me again.” Well, maybe not after meeting Niall at the party, but _definitely_ after he had woken up next to him, naked. “Not that I blame you… I was being a bit cocky back then, I guess...”

“Oh, _back then?_ ” Liam had his eyebrow cocked, immediately breaking out into laughter as Niall tried to playfully push him away, only ending up getting pulled closer, Liam’s soft lips keeping him from protesting and also kinda causing him to forget what he had been about to say in the first place. “’m sorry, Ni… I was just kidding. But seriously though… you _are_ amazing, everything about you is, and I love you too, so much, and it means a whole lot to me that you think this way about me and I… hell, I could probably fill a whole album with how much you mean to me… I might, you know.”

“Would you really?” He had sounded strangely serious all of a sudden, and Niall couldn’t see his face anymore because he had his pressed into the crook of Liam’s neck, the older’s chin tucked over his head, holding him so tightly that it should have hurt, but instead, it only made Niall wish the older man would have held him even tighter.

“Totally, if you’d let me. I mean… people would possibly get annoyed with it at some point, but… not like I care. I don’t even know if… if they liked the song I wrote for you.” How could they have fucking not? It brought tears to Niall’s eyes just thinking about it again now, hoping it wasn’t showing in his voice.

“I’m sure they did, Li, I mean… not that I think it’s so good because it’s for me, but… I love it, I really do, so thank you for writing it for me… “ More than that, Niall had never even known that it could have touched him so much, but maybe it was the passion with which Liam had sang it, the way he had cried… “Do you… do you think that, uh… that people think that we… you know… ended things?”

“Actually... I’m pretty sure they do. I don’t know if you saw, but… they’ve been speculating all week because… because of this one song lyric I posted and today, I mean… but it doesn’t matter, does it? They’ll see you by my side often enough because I’ll never let you leave again.” Though it probably should have sounded like a joke, Liam’s voice was still all soft, and gentle, dropping a kiss onto the crown of Niall’s head, warming his scalp as he breathed out.

“We could like… remember these pictures we took? Like weeks ago when… when we were a bit tipsy and we took these pictures of us kissing and stuff and thought about posting them all and the next day we were really embarrassed about it and glad we didn’t do it?” More than that, Niall actually had had the hardest time ever justifying this to himself, had done it off as being drunk even though… even though he hadn’t even been that drunk after all.

“Yeah… you wanna post one of those?” They could have probably taken a new one, but… these pictures were actually very cute, would have made Niall’s lockscreen had he not been trying to suppress his feelings for Liam. “I thought you deleted them.”

“No, I uh… didn’t.” No need to mention that Niall had been looking through them while crying two days ago. “But yeah… we could post one of these, thought they’d like it, maybe… “

“’m sure they would… “ Liam’s chest vibrated a bit as he chuckled softly before suddenly holding Niall even closer to his body, letting out a yawn himself this time. “Let’s do it tomorrow morning, yeah? We got enough time for it anyways… “

“Yeah… “ Niall also really didn’t feel like moving out of Liam’s embrace now, even feeling slightly cold when the older man briefly let go with one arm so he could turn off the only light remaining before getting back into their original position, with Niall’s eyes already having dropped closed long ago.

“Wanna go to sleep?” The older man’s voice had gotten a bit heavier as well, raspier, and Niall loved it, would have loved it even more had he not been so bloody tired, all those sleepless nights now taking their toll that he was finally back to where he belonged.

“Okay… “ There was no way Niall would have managed to stay awake for very much longer anyways, he just cuddled tightly into Liam, breathing in the familiar smell of his aftershave, feeling so happy all around that he could hardly even believe it.

“Alright… goodnight, Ni… I love you.” They were too tired for a goodnight kiss, but it was fine, because they were holding each other, something they had done so often before, and yet it’d be their first one spent together after having confessed their feelings, after finally having figured it all out. The first of many, many more.

“I love you too, bean… “ Everything was fine.

 

[(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/eacd981a83db680d5a7781ca3db6d292/tumblr_inline_o3c633jvKN1rggmxj_500.jpg)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE ITS NOT FRIDAY AND DOUBLE SURPRISE THIS WASNT THE LAST CHAPTER


	25. Epilogue

\------------------- **1 year later** \-------------------

“Li… ?” The bunk bed felt really empty as Niall even had enough space to turn around, not even being quite sure what it was that had woken him, but now that he was somewhat awake, he felt unable to go back to sleep while knowing that Liam wasn’t lying next to him anymore.

Sleeping on the tour bus was usually very easy for the blonde, he quite enjoyed it actually, but even more so that him and Liam would be forced to share a bunk, and though it could get him to feel slightly claustrophobic at times, he had gotten used to it by now, had grown to absolutely love having to practically sleep on top of the older man.

Now though, that Liam was gone, the mattress almost felt too big, and though Niall kept on lying there for a while, waiting to see whether the older man had just gone to the bathroom for a moment, he was getting just slightly worried. Not that Liam could have gone anywhere, they’d be on the bus the whole night long and a very painful look at Niall’s phone told him that it was only 2:30 in the morning. So where had Liam gone?

Trying to get his balance back, the younger boy forced himself to climb out of the bunk bed as carefully as possible, almost stumbling a few times though, even though he couldn’t really feel the bus moving underneath him, but he was tired and still half asleep, making sure to wrap the blanket around his shoulders so he wouldn’t freeze to death.

There weren’t all that many options and basically only one way to go because it only took a second for Niall to lean around the corner and check the bathroom, which was empty, so he made his way to the back of the bus, one hand holding onto the blanket, keeping the other on the wall so he wouldn’t yet again almost fall over his own feet. 

Though the blonde had known that Liam would have got to be somewhere in here, he still felt relief rushing through him once he had opened the sliding door in the back where the massive couch was, the only light source coming from the TV, almost being on such a low volume that Niall could barely even hear anything even though he was literally standing next to it. Liam had probably done that so he wouldn’t wake the blonde and Niall felt his heart swelling a bit at the thought, his eyes immediately meeting the older’s.

“Why’re you awake, baby?” The brunette was half lying on the couch, settled against the pillows and looking quite comfortable but far from tired, his arms already stretched towards Niall before the blonde had even started moving towards him, slight worry on his face.

“Don’t know… why are you awake?” That question concerned Niall a lot more, he needed a bit until he had managed to reach Liam, crawling over the couch before straight going into the older’s arms, half lying on top of him with one of his legs between Liam’s, face pushed against his throat, at the same time trying to stay covered in the blanket even though the brunette’s body was providing a lot of comfortable warmth as well. “I couldn’t fall back asleep when I noticed you weren’t there… everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, Nialler, don’t worry… ‘m sorry I left, I just couldn’t sleep and I didn’t wanna wake you on accident or something. It’s just the jetlag and stuff.” It was funny actually, that Niall was coping with that so much better than Liam even though the older man had experienced it a lot more often. The older’s tour had been lasting for a few weeks now, and Niall had been with him for almost all of it, having finished college at the end of the June, which had given him more than enough time to spend with Liam now, his 22nd birthday only a few days away. The blonde wasn’t yet finished with his education, but he was going to switch to online courses with the beginning of the new semester, having had a pretty long talk about it with Liam.

The last year had gone by so fast that Niall could barely even believe it. Tons of exciting stuff had happened, also negative things like his dad finding out about his relationship and completely losing his mind over it, just like expected. Niall hadn’t heard from his family in a while, after his dad had told him he wouldn’t get a single pound from him anymore, the blonde had finally given in to Liam offering yet again to pay for the blonde’s dorm until he’d be able to pay it back.

Secretly, Niall knew that Liam was never going to take the money back, but he had had no choice but to accept the offer, so grateful for it though because he wouldn’t have had a choice but drop out otherwise. He had had a few jobs during the last year, always during the week so he’d be able to go see Liam on the weekends, and yeah, it had been really tough, with the older man sometimes being away for two weeks straight, and it hadn’t always been just easy and fun, but whenever they were together, or talked on the phone or via Skype, Niall never once doubted that this was what he wanted, that he’d never be able to see himself with anybody else but Liam, knowing that the brunette felt the exact same way in return.

And now that Niall wouldn’t go back to his dorm anymore, they’d be able to spend so much time together that they’d grow sick of each other. Actually, it hadn’t been Niall’s idea, he couldn’t have simply moved into a flat or something, but it had rather been the older man who had approached the topic, simply brushing the younger boy’s worries off by telling him that he had been meaning to ask him to move in with him for a while already. So who had Niall been to say no? 

He was nervous, sure, because this was his first relationship despite everything, but they had known each other for more than two years now, been together for most of it even though not always like _that_ , but the blonde felt ready for it, because it was Liam and the blonde loved him with all his heart, more each day if that was even possible.

Up to now, they hadn’t spent a lot of time at Liam’s house though ever since Niall had brought his whole stuff there, since the older man had been in the middle of a world tour, still was, they had spent most nights in hotel rooms and tour busses. Which was fine though, as long as they were together, everything was alright.

Liam had given Niall things to do on tour so far, had promised he’d continue to do so upon the blonde’s request, so he wouldn’t feel unemployed and useless and as if he enjoyed letting Liam pay for so much, and though the blonde had been very hesitant at first, Liam had immediately calmed him down, telling him he had done this for a few friends already as well, that there was always something to do. Also, they had been doing a bit of song writing together, which had been a bit glared upon by Louis after having to admit that it didn’t sound so bad at all, and Niall had taken quite a liking to learning how to play guitar from Liam’s lead guitarist, which helped a lot with all of that as well.

So all in all, things were actually going so brilliant that the blonde could barely even believe his luck waking up each morning next to Liam, honestly feeling so much happier than he could have ever imagined was even possible.

“What’re you watching?” Niall quietly asked after a while because he hadn’t checked, barely being able to keep his eyes open under the soft brushes of Liam’s thumb over his cheek, warm hand resting against his face, the older’s arm wrapped tightly around him, his chest evenly moving underneath the blonde.

“Don’t know actually… some pretty stupid talkshow I’ve never seen before, I was hoping it’d make me tired but… “ Obviously it hadn’t, even though the younger boy was seconds from sleeping in like this again, not wanting to because he didn’t wanna leave Liam to be awake by himself, so he forced himself to not drift off just yet, readjusting himself a bit in the older’s arms, his lips almost brushing Liam’s bare neck. 

“I can stay up with you… “ For a little bit at least, because Niall felt like he’d pass out every few seconds, if it weren’t for Liam’s hand moving underneath the blanket once a while, drawing patterns on the blonde’s arm resting on his stomach and chest, all the way up to his shoulder, almost tickling him a little bit. He’d always do these things, randomly touch Niall, caress his skin, kiss any part of his face, even when they were in public and no matter who was there, it never kept Liam from being cuddly and touchy and the younger boy absolutely loved it, over the course of the last year having taken up that habit as well, stopped blushing and feeling a bit embarrassed whenever somebody else was around. By now, it was perfectly normal to everyone anyways.

“Hmm, you don’t have to though, I know you’re tired… can hear it in your voice, babes.” There was a soft chuckle that Niall felt pretty well, the older man’s body vibrating lightly under his, at least getting him to open his eyes up a little more, not for long enough though as to where he would have felt more energized again. “It’s fine if you sleep, Ni… I can also bring you back to the bunks if you want and wait ‘till you’ve slept in.”

“No… I’d wake up again if you aren’t there, I don’t like having so much space to myself… “ Also, Niall didn’t wanna miss out on an opportunity to cuddle with Liam like this, he had had to be without the older man for way too many nights already, he for sure wouldn’t ever decide to sleep alone again if he had the choice. “What’re we gonna do tomorrow?”

“Not much… there’s nothing planned until the concert, so we can just hang out… or sleep, or do whatever you want really, okay?” That definitely sounded good, Niall always loved these kinda days, and though he also enjoyed whenever Liam didn’t have a concert, he also didn’t mind having a buzzing, excited and sweaty Liam afterwards, needing something to get rid of all the energy and it usually always lead to the only thing that really helped. So yeah, Niall was not gonna complain about that. “Oh, right… my mum called before, when you were still asleep.”

“What’d she say?” Liam’s mum always called, at least once a day, sometimes she’d also call Niall and the blonde didn’t mind at all, he felt really comfortable with any member of Liam’s family, ever since he had spent Christmas with them last year, and the most part of his break as well, actually feeling like he fit in there pretty damn well. It was different than with Harry’s mum, not in a better or worse way, just somehow different, knowing that this was his boyfriend’s family, and somehow it had helped a lot after Niall’s dad had pretty much told him he didn’t want to hear from him anymore. Because somehow, Niall did have a family now, a better one that he had ever dared dreaming about as a kid.

“Not much… just told me to tell you hi from her, and that you gotta tell her what kinda cake you want for your birthday.” Oh, see, this was exactly why Niall felt so close to Liam’s family, because they were treating him like this, as if they had known him for way longer. They weren’t actually gonna be at Liam’s parent’s house for Niall’s birthday, since it was in a few days, but the older’s mum had already told Niall that they were just gonna celebrate later and though the blonde had been very surprised by that, of course he hadn’t said no to it, like… how nice was that? That they actually cared about his birthday?

“She really doesn’t have to make me one though…” Not that it’d help to protest, Niall had already tried that with numerous things and in the end, Karen would always put her will through either ways and it would’ve been a lie to say that Niall didn’t usually feel very flattered.

“She’s going to anyways… but if you want I’ll just tell her to make my favorite.” It was a joke obviously, because Liam laughed a bit, both his arms now having wrapped around the blonde pretty tightly, his lips smushed up against Niall’s forehead, not pulling away though after he had kissed the younger’s skin. 

“Yeah, you can do that, ‘m good with that… and tell her I said hi as well.” As if they’d never see each other or something, actually, Niall saw Liam’s mum quite often, because the older man would fly his parents out on tour, or they’d come over to his house whenever Niall was there as well occasionally, and it was just normal by now really. 

“I will … you excited for your birthday?” Liam had been teasing the blonde with this, never actually telling him what he had planned, not even giving him one single hint, which was quite different to last year, when he had told Niall he’d take him to Las Vegas, and though they had had their… fight in between, it had still been pretty fucking amazing. Now though, Niall literally had no single idea what the older man was planning.

“Yeah… even though you don’t wanna tell me a single thing… “ Niall was glad that he was so tired, because otherwise he might have tried to get something out of Liam, which would never happen anyways, so there was no use to waste his breath now when he felt kinda exhausted already. His birthday was gonna be pretty soon anyways, he would probably survive a few more days of being 21 while Liam had turned 27 just a bit ago, but it’s not like their age difference mattered, it just got slightly annoying whenever Liam would use the argument of being right just because he was older. But it was fine, because Niall could never really be annoyed with Liam anyways.

“But it’ll be worth it though, okay? I promise, just let me have my fun for a little bit longer.” The older man chuckled a bit, holding Niall even tighter if that was any possible and the blonde couldn’t help but let out a yawn, his brain a bit too slow to process all of this and to hold a steady conversation for much longer. It was just hard, staying awake while being in this kinda position, the older man soothingly stroking his skin and hair, kinda being perfect to use as a pillow, but that was nothing new anyways. “You should go back to sleep, babe, it’s fine.”

“No… I can stay up with you… “ Probably hadn’t come out very confident at all, but at least Niall tried, forcing his eyes open for a few seconds while Liam just sighed but let him be, cheek now resting against Niall’s head, palm rubbing up and down his back, over the blanket. 

They just lied there for a few while, with the TV still on but way too quiet for Niall as to really feel distracted by it, slipping in and out of sleep every few minutes, still trying to fight it though because it was obvious that the older man was still awake since he kept up the movements, never loosened his grip on the blonde for what seemed like at least an hour or something.

“... what’re you doin’?” By now, Niall could barely even bring out a single word, he was just mumbling somewhere into Liam’s warm skin, feeling slightly more awake as the older man seemed to rearrange the blonde in his arms, as if he was trying to sit up.

“Shhh…. go back to sleep, baby… “ Well, that wouldn’t exactly be easy now, seeing as Niall had never really been fast asleep anyways, but he felt too tired as to think of a reply, just letting Liam manhandle him how he pleased, only slightly surprised by how easy it seemed to be for the older man to stand up like this, carrying the younger boy like he had so many times before, as if he didn’t weigh anything. Well, that probably came from the fact that Liam always had to work out like crazy when he was on tour, but Niall liked to think that it had something to do with him instead, a little bit at least.

“Li… don’t wanna go back to bed… “ If Liam carried him back to the bunks then Niall was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to stop him from doing it, all he could really do was wrap one arm around the older’s neck and rest his head on his shoulder, kinda impressed by how little Liam was juggling him around, even though he probably had to turn off the lights or something, and halftime walk a bit sideways because of the bus not being wide enough. 

“It’s okay, Ni, I’ll stay with you, yeah? Just go back to sleep, babe, I know you’re tired.” More than that, tomorrow morning, Niall would probably not even remember having this conversation with Liam in the first place, and even though he still kinda wanted to protest, not knowing whether Liam planned on leaving him alone again once the blonde had fallen back asleep, he couldn’t really think clear enough to even form the question in his head.

Usually, they slept in one of the upper bunks, but since the older man couldn’t really lift Niall up there like that, he lied the younger boy down onto a lower one, as gently as somehow possibly, even making sure he was stayed wrapped up in the blanket before taking the second one and getting in next to him, even before Niall could let out a protesting whine. 

“I’m here, Nialler… go back to sleep, yeah? I love you so much.” There was a firm kiss against Niall’s forehead, then a lighter one against his lips, and though the younger boy kinda wished for it to last longer, he had no energy to go with the older man as he pulled away, instead wrapping the blonde up in his arms and Niall really had nothing to complain about anymore now.

“I love you more… “ Niall was pretty sure there would have been protest, maybe even had been, but the blonde never knew because he literally slept in one second later, with a pretty dumb smile on his lips. Surely, there was no person in this world that was luckier than he was.

 

\---------------------

 

The next morning, they had a bit of a hard time getting up and go on about their day, or even make it up to the hotel room first as soon as the bus had arrived. Liam had had an even more difficult time than Niall, the blonde had to try and wake him for about 15 minutes straight before the older man even moved, and the blonde felt pretty bad about it because he knew his boyfriend had probably slept in a whole lot later, but if Niall had let him sleep, it would’ve been the same thing again at night.

They both took a shower before going out, together because the blonde used the excused of being scared that Liam would fall asleep in there, even though it wasn’t like the older man would have protested had Niall just not said anything and gotten under the water with him. At this point, they had done it so many times, and so many other things as well, that it didn’t matter anymore, that none of them had to blush over it anymore or whatever, it was just the two of them after all.

“Harry just literally sent me the weirdest picture of him and Louis, look at this.” Their best friends were somewhere in Europe, Niall wasn’t actually sure anymore because they had been travelling around for a few weeks now, even since Harry and Niall had started summer break, and he’d get daily updates through pictures, which was nice because of course he wanted to know if they were alright, but sometimes… sometimes he wasn’t quite sure if he really wanted to see all of them.

“That does look weird… looks like they’re naked as well, oh my god, put that away, Ni.” Liam’s face scrunched up a bit after analyzing the picture for a second, pushing the younger’s hand away as Niall just laughed, quickly typing out a response before pocketing his phone once more, again swinging his and Liam’s arm a bit between them as they were walking, just because it felt nice to do this, hold hands, being able to look around the city for a bit, even though they were both bloody tired. “I’m glad I never allow you to take post sex selfies.”

“They’d look really hot though, you gotta admit that.” Niall had jokingly been pretending to take some a few times, getting Liam really paranoid and stuff, as if the blonde would post them online or anything, so he had stopped doing it, to save his boyfriend from a heart attack. 

“Yeah, until you lose your phone or something and somebody finds it and then… “ He was shaking his head, as if the thought was too terrible as to finish and Niall had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh at Liam for being this dramatic.

“Well… there’s a lot of other things on there already that people shouldn’t see though.” For example,… the time they had tried sexting, and it hadn’t really gone too well, that had been fun. “Or imagine if you lost _your_ phone and then people would see the dick pics I texted you.”

“I… I didn’t ask for them though, Nialler. And anyways… I won’t lose my phone.” Almost immediately, Liam’s cheeks at gotten a bit blushed, obviously not hating the fact that Niall had done this, it had just been a joke actually, but Liam had never made any real comments about it as to whether he had enjoyed it or not but apparently… he hadn’t deleted them. “So… what’re Lou and Harry up to anyways? Besides… _that_? Louis hasn’t texted me back in like a day.”

“I don’t know either actually, looks like they’re just staying in bed all day to be honest, like, how boring, right? Pretty sure they aren’t having nearly as much fun as we are.” How could they have, they weren’t with Liam after all.

“Was that… sarcasm?” Liam actually sounded hurt for a moment and Niall immediately felt guilty, he would have probably stopped them had they not been in the middle of street, with Paddy a few steps behind them, once a while urging them to go a little faster.

“No, of course not, Li, why’d you think that? I am having tons of fun whenever I’m with you, why’d you doubt that?” Just to sound more convincing, Niall quickly pressed a kiss to Liam’s cheek, almost causing them to stumble a bit, comfortably squeezing the older’s fingers intertwined with his, offering a soft smile as the older man looked down at him.

“I… I don’t know. I just wasn’t, uh… sure.” He shrugged a little, clearly embarrassed now, but there was a smile tugging on his lips again and Niall quickly decided they needed to move on from the topic, not wanting Liam to feel uncomfortable or something. “Just because… well, it’s not always fun, not being able to sleep and being tired and always leaving the city literally the next day, so… “

“Actually, though… I’m really enjoying all of it. And it’s not the first time I’m on tour with you, like… before I met you I’ve literally been to nowhere at all and now I’m seeing all these places, even if it’s only for a short while and I get to be with you so… I’d say that’s a pretty good deal.” More than that, and Niall really meant it as well, like, what could have ever gotten boring about this? “You’ll never have to worry about me not enjoying myself, bean, I promise, I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else right now.”

“I… me neither.” Was all Liam answered after a second of hesitation, getting even redder but at least he truly returned Niall’s smile this time, making the younger’s heart swell a bit when he saw just how happy this had just made the older man. “Come here...”

Softly pulling his hand out of Niall’s, Liam wrapped his arm around the younger’s shoulders instead, pulling him in closer until he could kiss the top of Niall’s head, the blonde’s arm immediately curling around Liam’s waist, feeling happiness spreading in his stomach just from this. Even though they had done these things so many times before, it still caused butterflies to erupt in his belly whenever Liam touched him.

“I love you… “ The older man mumbled somewhere into Niall’s hair, breathing out hotly against his scalp afterwards, adding to the goosebumps Niall had already had despite the weather being pretty fucking hot.

“I love you too, Li.” Honestly, would Niall even be able to go one day without saying it? Probably not.

They kept walking like this for a while, just staying close to each other, Niall eventually making sure to link his fingers through Liam’s on his shoulder, because that kinda was his thing. Neither of them had had any plans on what they even wanted to do, they had just decided to go out so they wouldn’t fall asleep the moment they’d lie on the bed, and though a nap would have really sounded nice as well right now, Niall was rather awake, looking around the city as far as that was possible, enjoying the time he had with Liam because even though he had so many more days, weeks, months and hopefully _years_ to spend with the older man, he wasn’t appreciating this any less, especially after everything that had happened.

Eventually, they decided to go get something to eat somewhere and then head back to the hotel, just relax for a bit before they’d have to go to the arena for Liam’s soundcheck, where Niall would do his usual sitting somewhere in the audience and enjoying the older man singing every song to him only, fooling around a bit until it’d be time for the concert.

Of course though, they did eventually get noticed while walking back, and Niall would lie if he said that it bothered him, that the fact that Paddy had already told them these three girls had been following them for like 5 minutes before didn’t make him grab onto Liam tighter, not because he was scared but because he knew they’d take pictures, and If they did, he at least wanted to be able to use them as background later. Selfies and random pictures of Liam were nice, but these couple pictures the fans took of them were quite impressive as well. So when they eventually did get enough courage to stop them, Niall was internally praying that Paddy hadn’t been blocking the pictures from behind.

“Hey, um… sorry for, uh… bothering you, we just… we were just wondering if we could, like… get a hug?” They sounded very hopeful, and very freaked out as well, it made Niall smile as he pulled his hand out of Liam’s, letting the older man go and hug them, not wanting to be in the way or something. It was really nice whenever they met Liam’s fans, especially the ones who were crying and stuff, because yeah, Niall totally got it.

“Sure, love, you can also have a picture if you want, if you promise not to post them for the next ten minutes or so?” Liam went to hug them all while Niall just watched, rolling his eyes at Paddy who was seemingly getting paranoid here, but they hadn’t been walking on the main roads obviously, and there was literally no one else around, so Niall was totally relaxed. He did get a bit anxious whenever there were crowds, but it had hardly happened more than once or twice because Liam knew about the blonde’s claustrophobia obviously, so he had been trying his very hardest to prevent these kinda things from happening.

“Uh… Niall, can I hug you too?” One girl came over to the blonde while the others were taking selfies with Liam and Niall really didn’t wanna sound vain or anything, but… he did notice the things they said about him online, which got Liam slightly upset once a while, whenever they talked about Niall being hot and stuff, but really, the blonde enjoyed the hell out of having a jealous boyfriend, so obviously he went for the hug. Also because it would have been really rude not to.

“’course, babe. You alright?” She didn’t really seem like it, grabbing onto him a bit too tightly and Niall grinned at Liam over her shoulder, immediately seeing the older man’s eyes changing for just the split of a second. Oh, they’d definitely have some fun later. “Going to the concert tonight?”

“Y-Yeah… are you too?” The girl asked after they had pulled apart and Niall just kept on smiling at her, she looked very young and it was really cute actually, and pretty funny too because Liam was literally behind her and she wasn’t turning around. Maybe she was just nervous.

“Yeah, I have to, Liam’s gonna mess up if I don’t, so.” Shrugging, Niall had to hold back really hard so he wouldn’t start laughing now as Liam came over, trying to make it seem very natural as he slung his arm back around Niall’s waist, maybe squeezing him a tiny bit too hard. 

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, _babe_. Do you want to take a picture as well, love?” Liam’s face was still all smiley and happy, just like it usually was whenever he met fans, but Niall couldn’t help but laugh about the whole situation internally, it was always the same, Liam was literally the most jealous person on the whole planet and it was so honestly so cute, as if he wasn’t even aware that he could never in a billion years have any competition at all. 

“Y-Yeah… please, uh… can you… can you both be in it?” Now this was getting even funnier. 

“Sure, I’m good with that.” Niall answered Liam’s questioning stare, smiling brightly at him, making sure that the older man knew exactly that Niall was reading him like an open book.

Since the girl’s hand was shaking too much, Niall took the selfie for them before handing back the phone, not even surprised when Liam immediately slipped his hand back into the blonde’s. “Thank you, I… you guys are… a really cute couple.”

“Yeah, you are.” One of the other girls jumped in, obviously scared she was gonna be left out of the conversation and Liam chuckled while at the same time squeezing Niall’s hand tightly, his body relaxing a bit though as Niall grabbed a hold of his wrist with his free fingers as well. 

“Thank you so much, that really means a lot to me. So, where are you all from?” He continued doing the usual smalltalk and Niall just mostly stayed quiet, smiling secretly to himself, even more so a few minutes later, when that one girl made sure to say an extra goodbye just directed at Niall before they all walked back into the opposite direction, still squealing very noisily a bit later afterwards.

“Really nice girls.” Niall made sure to note as soon as they kept on walking, a bit faster now because Paddy was urging them to, but also because it was getting slightly late.

“Very nice.” Was all Liam commented on that, clearing his throat just lightly and Niall was already grinning way before Liam started with it, hesitating for quite a while actually, as if that’d make it seem more natural or something. “I think that one girl is gonna crop me out of the selfie, actually.”

“Awww, come on, Li, I’m sure she won’t. Why’d you say that?” Of course Niall was just teasing the older man, getting a playful glare for that that only got him even more amused. This was just too much fun.

“Did you not see her looking at you, Nialler? Thought she was gonna like… jump on you or something.” Though Liam was pretending to find it funny, Niall could very well see the look on his face, not being able to hold back that short laughter, immediately getting a look from the older man. “What? It’s true.”

“Are you jealous?” Niall just straight out asked, instantly seeing Liam’s cheeks heating up as the older man quickly turned his head away, keeping it straight now, obviously feeling caught. 

“No, I’m not, I was just… I was just saying.” He shrugged, biting on his bottom lip and Niall almost felt bad for teasing him, but his reactions were just so _cute_. Plus, of course the blonde boy felt very flattered, that Liam was being so obsessive over him, even now that they were alone again, holding onto him so tightly as if someone might be trying to snatch Niall away any second.

“It’s fine if you are though… I kinda like having a jealous bean with me, it’s cute.” The younger boy grinned when he saw Liam rolling his eyes, not looking over at him though because he was still blushing and trying to pretend like nothing was even wrong. 

“Okay, but... I’m not jealous. I was just pointing it out, nothing else, I… I just don’t want you to freak out when… when they’re all over you, you know?” Well, that made sense as well, and even though Liam was only trying to save his pride here, Niall felt his heart flattering a little bit, pulling his hand out of Liam’s without thinking and instead wrapping both his arms around the older’s waist, startling him just a little bit before he immediately hugged back.

“I know… “ Walking like this was kinda hard, but the only one who probably felt bothered by them being slowed down was Paddy, and Niall honestly couldn’t have cared less about that. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Nialler… “ His voice had changed to all soft and relaxed, squeezing the younger boy tightly before slowly releasing him once more, hesitating for a few minutes before speaking once again, more quietly this time. “Maybe… maybe I was jealous. Just a bit though.”

Times like these, Niall was so in love he could have cried.

 

\---------------------

 

The next few days were almost identical to this one, they were both tired but still having fun, even if it was just lying in bed, slipping in and out of sleep, spending the day doing whatever before it was time for Liam’s concert and sometimes for getting into the tour bus. But it was so good, because the whole last two years there had been so many times where they hadn’t been able to be together and now they could basically spend every single day together and every morning waking up and being reminded of that was just… the most overwhelming feeling in the whole entire world.

On the morning of Niall’s birthday, Liam had a day off, and though he claimed he hadn’t switched around any dates just for that, Niall was pretty damn sure that he had, but he felt so excited and happy about it that he wouldn’t have ever thought of complaining. They were in Canada now, would be for the next few days, and obviously Niall had never been there before either, so it really already was the best birthday ever, even without having fully woken up yet.

“Hey, baby… “ Liam’s lips and the smell of his aftershave were the first things Niall woke up to that morning, the older man half lying on top of him as he kissed the younger boy a few times, just softly, continuing to pepper his whole face with kisses afterwards as well, his mouth right by Niall’s ear as he whispered. “Happy birthday, Nialler… “

“Hmm… thanks… “ Niall grumbled, forcing himself to lift his arms even though he felt way too tired for it, wrapping them loosely around Liam’s neck while he enjoyed being kissed awake by the older man, wishing they could have deepened the kiss but at the same time feeling a bit too weak to really take the initiative. “Can I have… five more minutes?”

“Sure, love, ‘s your birthday after all.” The brunette’s breath was hot against Niall’s skin, pretty much making it impossible for Niall to fall back asleep anyways because he just kept up the kisses, keeping his weight on his elbows but his body was still pressing the blonde into the mattress in the way he liked, keeping his eyes closed as he just enjoyed the moment, the way Liam’s lips were brushing him, the feeling of his beard scratching against Niall’s skin. It was all so familiar and yet still so exciting as if they were doing all of this for the first time. “I got you breakfast for when you wanna get up.”

“Breakfast in bed?” Was all Niall asked, hearing and feeling Liam chuckle against his jaw before placing another gentle kiss there, moving down the blonde’s neck. 

“Of course… “ Liam kept up the kisses for a bit while Niall tried not to pass out, suddenly feeling a whole lot more awake as the older man started to softly suck on his skin, on the exact same spot he had created last night. Now Niall was somehow a little bit disappointed he hadn’t woken up with the older’s lips around his dick. “You awake now, love?”

“Yeah…. Yeah, I think so… “ Niall’s breath was going a bit uneasy, but at least he had managed to blink his eyes open by now, rubbing them a bit with his fists while he felt the brunette’s eyes on him, a hand brushing the hair out of his forehead before Liam fitted their lips together yet again, a bit more forceful this time, playfully nipping on Niall’s bottom lip before pulling away, making the younger boy whine just a little bit. 

“Okay… one second.” There was a smirk on Liam’s lips as he gently unfolded Niall’s arms from around his neck, kissing the back of one of his hands as well before slowly getting up and out of bed, leaving the blonde behind feeling just a little bit cold, even despite the fact that he was still covered in the blanket. “This isn’t your only present obviously, but… I thought I’d give this to you now, as part one of the surprise.”

The older man returned with a tray full of food while Niall had managed to somewhat sit up, leaning against the back of the bed as he felt his stomach erupting in butterflies, trying not to grin too much when he made space for Liam to get back into bed next to him, making sure the blanket covered both their legs as the older man left the tray in his lap and Niall thought he’d have to die with how happy just this made him. There was a red rose lying between the plates, and an envelope. “Is that… for me?”

“Who else would it be for, love?” Though Liam chuckled before kissing Niall’s cheek as the blonde had scooted so close that their whole sides were brushing, it was obvious that he was more than pleased with himself right now as he picked up the red rose before handing it to the younger boy, along with the white envelope. Honestly, Niall had no clue what it could be, he would have just been happy with the rose alone, or with the breakfast in bed, but his heart was still beating pretty excitedly when he felt Liam’s arm wrapping around his shoulders, holding him close as he watched the younger boy opening up the present. Well, and then his heart really did almost stop.

“Liam, wha-… what are those keys for?” It were two, one looking rather normal, however…. there was a 99.9% chance that the second one belonged to a car, a pretty expensive one, and… he couldn’t have really done that, could he?!

“Well, those are for the front door of my house, since you’re officially moved in with me now and the others, well… think you might wanna check the garage when we get home.” Oh god?! 

“Li, did you…. did you really… buy me a car?!” Niall was speechless, not in a negative way at all, just… he would have never expected that, that was crazy, holy shit!

“Hmmm… maybe I did.” He sounded pretty amused, even more so when Niall just turned his head towards him with his mouth just kinda dropped open, making Liam laugh as he pressed a kiss to Niall’s nose. Never in a million years would Niall have expected _this_ to be his present and then also… Liam had only called it part _one_ , like… what else was to come?! “You okay, babe? You know there’s no point to argue with me about presents, right? So you can just be excited about it and you don’t have to feel one bit guilty for it because there’s nothing I love more than spending money on you, so actually, I gotta thank you for making me happy.”

“Liam, I… this is… holy shit, this is… this is crazy, I… “ A part of Niall did want to protest, pretty badly actually, but then on the other hand, he knew it wouldn’t have changed anything at all, and also, he really didn’t wanna destroy Liam’s joy or make him feel bad and after all… after all it was a freaking _car_ and Niall was just speechless to be honest. “I… thank you, Liam, so much, this is… you really didn’t have to, I-“

“I know, but I wanted to. So I’m guessing you like it?” His smile was so sweet, like, it obviously made him so happy to see Niall this shocked and at the same time excited, not being able to stop staring at the keys in the envelope, because… not only had Liam bought him a car, but it also reminded Niall that Liam had let him move in with him, that he wanted to have Niall there with him all the time, wanted to stay with him, wanted to buy him such expensive presents just because he loved him so much. The thought of that actually got Niall a bit teary eyed.

“Of course I do, bean… thank you so much, I… I don’t even know what to say anymore, I… and for… for letting me move in with you as well, I… I just can’t… still can’t believe any of this sometimes and I just… thank you, Li… I love you… so much and… “ Yep, there did Niall’s voice go, he almost had to let out a sob at this part, trying not to get too overwhelmed now, because he didn’t really wanna spend his birthday crying, but… it just made him emotional, thinking about how much Liam loved him and how much he loved him return and just… how had Niall deserved any of this?

“I love you too, Nialler… don’t cry now, okay? It’s alright. I’m so happy you’re excited, babe.” Liam wiped away the only tear that escaped the younger boy, continuing to stroke his cheek for a bit afterwards, waiting for Niall to calm down a little bit, which was hard because well… because of fucking obvious reasons. “You okay, Ni?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just…. I love you so much.” Obviously Niall didn’t only say this because of his presents, but looking at the older man now, it made him feel a lot of things while trying really hard to blink back the rest of the tears, leaning into the older’s touch, almost completely having forgotten about being hungry just five minutes ago.

Before Liam could really reply, Niall had already arched his head up a bit in order to press their lips together, not really having his hands free or much room to move to because they needed to make sure the tray didn’t fall, but it worked somehow and Niall almost pinched his finger on the rose, but he did manage to grab onto Liam’s biceps for support without hurting himself in the end, allowing another tear to spill over because it didn’t even matter anymore.

This time, their kiss immediately went deeper, partly because Niall was desperate and emotional, but it actually was Liam who immediately licked into the younger’s mouth, thumb still rubbing over his cheek as they snogged quite heavily, until they had both run out of breath and their foreheads were pressed together, lips swollen as Liam half whispered. “Just wait until… until you see the second part of your surprise… “

Oh god, did Niall even want to know?!

 

\------------------

 

“A _yacht_?! You… you booked a whole fucking _yacht_ , Liam?!” Clearly, Niall wasn’t ever gonna stop being impressed and shocked today, he had been all morning long after Liam had given him the first part of his presents, but the one the brunette man was kinda worried about was only to follow. But he’d postpone that until later, because right now, he was just so happy to watch the younger boy, see how excited he was about everything and really, that was all Liam had wanted, making this the best day possible for his boy.

“Yeah, do you like it? I mean, Paddy’s gonna come and we have someone operating it and somebody who’s cooking, but apart from that… it’s just for us. And it’s got a bed too and I thought we could-“

“Wait, _what _?! A bed?! On that thing?! I… “ The blonde’s mouth was literally dropped open and they hadn’t even gotten on yet, they were just standing in front of it, and yeah, Liam did have to admit that it looked bigger than even he would have thought, but then again… he had planned this for at least three months, had gotten on Louis’ last nerve and now that the day was finally here, Liam couldn’t help but feel so incredibly lucky that he got to spoil Niall like this. Well, he had been doing it all along, but… this was the one day he hoped Niall wouldn’t feel guilty for just enjoying it.__

__“Yeah, of course. A pretty big one actually and I… well, if you want to… we can spend the night. Like, we’ll get it outside on the water a bit, ‘cos someone would eventually see us from here, but… “ Liam had only seen pictures so far, but it looked more than promising and judging by the younger’s face, the brunette man actually couldn’t have done any better._ _

__It was amazing really, that after a year of this, of pure heaven, Niall was still so impressed by all these things, still appreciated everything so much that Liam couldn’t help but love him even more for it, the way he was so humble and so cute about it all and just… god, Liam was proper in love with this boy, he had known it for over a year of course, but ever since… ever since they had _really_ gotten together, it was only becoming more with each and every day, up to a point where Liam would find himself thinking about them being together until… until they day they’d die really, because he’d never find anybody like Niall, so why would he ever want to let him go?_ _

__“Do you want to?” Niall seemed to have a hard time listening, he was just standing there next to Liam, staring at the yacht, and the older man couldn’t help but chuckle as he pulled him in even closer, kissing the side of his head softly._ _

__“Of course I want to, Li, oh my god, this is like… I can’t believe I’m saying this considering all the places we’ve been to, but… but I think this is like… the best fucking thing ever.” He sounded really genuine, still in shock obviously, but it made Liam so happy that his heart could have bursted. That was all he had wanted._ _

__“I’m glad you like it, babe. C’mon, I’ll show you how it looks like, okay?” Not like Liam knew what it looked like in detail either, but he was pretty sure Niall wouldn’t care, because he literally only managed a nod, immediately going with the older man though as Liam linked their fingers together, not being able to wipe that stupid grin off of his face anymore._ _

__Obviously, they did have people on there who were used to running the yacht and all of that, and Paddy as well, just in case, but they left them alone, making it feel like they were actually all alone on there and it was so much better than Liam could have ever hoped for. Of course he and Niall had a lot of alone time, but… it was definitely less than normal people had, so being able to enjoy this with the younger boy was pretty overwhelming for Liam as well, knowing that even after his tour was over and they’d go back home, that he’d get to keep Niall with him, that their time wasn’t limited anymore to weekends or college breaks, they’d be able to be together whenever the hell they pleased._ _

__The walk around the yacht took even longer than Liam would have thought, like, it was literally so fucking big and Niall had to stare at everything for ten minutes and one time he even started crying for real, almost causing Liam to stumble because of how suddenly the younger boy had thrown himself at him, thanking him ten million times before kissing him even more desperately than this morning._ _

__There was not one single thing out of place right now, like, this was so fucking romantic and at the same time so cool and amazing that Liam wasn’t exactly sure where to place his emotions, all he knew was that watching Niall and _his_ reactions to all of this, was really everything he needed._ _

__It did get dark pretty soon actually, because they had slept in and taken ages to finish breakfast and then get here, but the yacht was out on the open sea, with no one able to catch or see them, and it felt like it was just the two of them pretty much the whole entire time and it didn’t feel rushed or anything, or as if they were running out of time because the day was already ending, because literally every single second felt like heaven to Liam anyways._ _

__“Damn… I can’t believe I ate this much, like… that’s not normal, not even for me.” Niall let out a pretty deep sigh as he leaned back, petting his stomach for a second before letting his eyes scan the water even though he probably couldn’t see much at all, they were sitting outside, of course everything lit up on here, but it kinda looked like a black hole in the other direction._ _

__“It’s your birthday though, so you can eat as much as you want.” Liam had gotten them a cook, obviously, because even though of course he would have cooked for Niall, this did seem a bit more special, and judging by Niall’s face and the amount he had eaten, the blonde boy seemed to agree with that._ _

__“Yeah, just don’t wanna have to throw up or anything and like… ruin the mood ‘cos… this is pretty darn romantic, Payno.” He was grinning at Liam across the table, their legs somehow intertwined underneath, and Liam let his hand cover Niall’s, watching his own thumb drawing patterns on the blonde’s skin, feeling himself starting to smile._ _

__“It is, isn’t it? I… I was really hoping it’d turn out to be something like this, but I… I would have never thought it’d be this amazing.” Seriously, they had basically done nothing all day long, had just kissed and cuddled and had a laugh up here, and yet it was still the best thing ever. Well, that probably came from the fact that Niall was the one who was here with Liam._ _

__“I still can’t believe you did all of that, Liam… for me, I mean, like… and that you planned it all out and stuff, I just… thank you, really, I know I’ve said this a hundred times today, but… I really cannot believe this and I… that was the best fucking birthday I’ve ever had, seriously, and like… not because of all these things, but… but because I get to spend it with you only, and last year was pretty damn amazing too, but now that we’ve been together for over a year, like… it seems like it’s only getting better, doesn’t it?” Hearing this out of Niall’s mouth immediately caused Liam’s heart to speed up, he knew Niall loved him, never had any doubts about that, but hearing things like that still caused him to get a bit emotional, just because of everything they’ve been through together and just… he would have never even dared dreaming of finding someone like Niall._ _

__“Yeah, it does… I’m so happy that you’re happy, Nialler, that’s all I wanted, to make this a good day for you and… I’m glad it is. And I’m so glad that you wanna spend it with me and that I get to do these things for you and that I’m the one who gets to share these moments with you. I… I’ve never felt this way about anybody else, and it’s like… it’s only increasing with time and I didn’t think it’d be possible, but… waking up every day it’s like… I’m falling even deeper in love with you.” Had that been too much? Liam only slowly lifted his head, eyes almost immediately getting stuck on Niall’s, for a moment panicking as he saw the look on his face, right before the younger boy started smiling, eyes suddenly getting teary._ _

__“Don’t make me cry, bean… been crying enough today already.” He joked, wiping a bit at his eyes with his free hand while Liam was still caressing the other, just watching the younger boy, being his beautiful self over there, his cheeks still red from the sun earlier, even though it had already set a while ago._ _

__“Sorry… “ Liam chuckled, for a moment planning on saying something completely different, but then he suddenly remembered something and before he could even get nervous about it, he had already blurted out with it. “Wanna see your last present?”_ _

__“What? Is it your dick?” Of course Niall would ask that, laughing as the older man just rolled his eyes with a smirk before pulling his hand back, slowly, not really planning on what he was gonna say because… this was Niall, this boy was literally like his second half, he didn’t need to think anymore about what to say at this point._ _

__“You can have that later, but first… I got you something else.” Right, maybe this sounded a lot like he was gonna do something else, especially when he reached into the pockets of his pants and saw Niall’s eyes growing a bit wider, his expression quickly changing to shocked and Liam decided to calm him down beforehand. He wouldn’t have done _this_ like that, not out of nowhere when they hadn’t talked about it, when this was still the first relationship Niall had ever been in. “’m not proposing babe, don’t worry.”_ _

__“Oh… okay, I was just… “ The younger boy was obviously relieved, though he tried not to let it show and Liam couldn’t help but laugh, not offended in any way, like, he wouldn’t have asked Niall to marry him after such a short time. “Just because, like… not because I never thought about it, just… and I would have said yes, but… “_ _

__“I know. It’s fine, Ni, don’t worry about it, yeah?” He would have said yes though, had he just said that? “Open your hand.”_ _

__Niall did what he had been told, seemingly curious and maybe a bit nervous as Liam pulled his hand from his pocket, still making a fist until he let something drop into the younger’s hand, holding his breath for a moment as he watched Niall examine it, mouth yet again having dropped open even if he didn’t even know yet what it was._ _

__“Again, it’s not a proposal, it’s just… a promise ring.” Yeah, Liam had thought pretty damn hard about whether he should do this or not, the ring was simple, silver, and not really that noticeable, he didn’t plan on Niall wearing it on his hand or anything, he could as well keep it on a necklace if he wanted, or just keep it like that, it was just a reminder after all, nothing else. Even if it had probably cost a bit too much to just be lying around._ _

__“What… what do you promise?” The younger’s voice was only a whisper now as he played with the ring in his fingers, his cheeks having gotten slightly more pink and there was a smile tugging on his lips that put Liam at ease at an instant._ _

__“That I love you. And that I’m always here for you, no matter what happens, because you’re the most important thing to me in the entire world and… I know this sounds sappy, but it’s true, and all I want is for you to be happy and… and I promise I’m always gonna try my very best to make that happen because you’d never deserve any less.” There was a bit of a lump in Liam’s throat as he finished, just waiting for a moment for Niall’s reply, hearing nothing but the soft wind and the waves crashing against the yacht, pretty quietly though, almost startling Liam a bit when Niall spoke up, even though his voice had been all soft and gentle._ _

__“Put it on me.” Was all he said, and Liam didn’t need to be told twice before taking the ring from Niall, and then his hand, holding his breath as he slid it on the younger’s finger, just admiring how it looked like there, how another ring would look like that one day he would actually propose to Niall for real. “Liam James Payne.”_ _

__Liam looked up at that, his thumb still resting against the ring on Niall’s finger for a second before the younger boy suddenly pulled it away, moving to stand up and had Liam not been slightly nervous, he would have maybe asked him what he was doing. But there was a smile on Niall’s face that only grew bigger as he simply walked around the table and Liam had already had his arms stretched out towards him before he had even known that Niall was about to straddle his lap. He did though, with his arms wrapped around Liam’s neck while the older man’s hands held onto his hips, their foreheads knocking against one another._ _

__“You are the sappiest person I’ve ever met in my entire life and I love you _so_ much, you literally have no fucking idea. Thank you… honestly, thank you so much, for this and for everything you’ve done for me, and for being my rock and for putting up with me at all times and for taking care of me and for… for loving me. There’s no one else I’d ever want more than I want you, and I can’t believe that I’ve gotten this lucky, but… somehow I have and trust me, I won’t ever let you go. I love you, Liam, thank you for this, I don’t deserve any of it, but… you make me the happiest person on the planet and I’ll never be able to repay, but… I’ll never stop trying.” Damn, _who_ was the lucky one here?!_ _

__“Just kiss me… that’s all the payback I’m ever gonna need… “ Not that Niall would have had anything to pay back _at all_ , but their lips had already been so damn close and Liam couldn’t wait any longer, just barely having to tilt his head up before Niall’s mouth was already on top of his with a chuckle escaping his mouth as Liam’s fingers accidentally tickled his sides and honestly, Liam had never felt happier than in this exact moment._ _

__

__\----------------_ _

__

__The bedroom on the yacht was the most amazing thing Niall had ever seen, but when he and Liam stumbled in there later, he had no time or interest anymore in taking it in, he was just clinging to the older man, trying to hold back his tears yet again, kissing him so desperately as if his life depended on it, the ring the older man had given to him just minutes before being a steady reminder of just how mind blowing this whole day had been. And continued to be._ _

__“Li… “ Niall barely even heard himself speaking, he was so out of breath and yet was still seeking Liam’s lips against his, fingers pulling on the older’s hair in an attempt to not lose balance while they were making out, hopefully not disturbing anybody else that was on here even though Liam had kicked the door shut with his foot a few seconds ago._ _

__When they fell onto the bed, it wasn’t really in the softest or best way, but Niall barely even cared about Liam falling on top of him, a bit too heavily, because he was already searching for his mouth again as they moved up the mattress a bit, all the while kissing, Liam’s hot tongue in the younger’s mouth, rubbing against his in all the right ways. Niall just wanted to have Liam all over him right now, without any of these annoying clothes in between, like, they had had sex almost every night that week, but this felt so different now, even better than it already did normally and the younger boy couldn’t fucking wait to get naked with Liam, get all of him at once, because it was all he wanted right now._ _

__Liam didn’t immediately rip Niall’s clothes off of the younger boy like Niall had hoped, but he was fine with just kissing Liam for a while, deep and long strokes of his tongue, Liam’s hand having found its way underneath the younger’s shirt, rugging it up a bit between them, as far as that was possible, his skin feeling hot as fire against Niall’s, in a strangely pleasuring way though._ _

__When they had run out of breath, Niall was panting heavily, eyes still closed as Liam’s lips were trailing down his jaw and neck instead, sucking and licking at a few older bruises he had put there while the blonde was just holding onto him, hoping he wasn’t gonna pass out from lack of air. “Liam… can we… can we speed it up, I-“_ _

__“Nope… it’s your birthday, love, I’ll take my time… “ Great._ _

__“Li… “ Niall whined, at the same time not too unhappy with this, but he just felt hot and bothered and Liam wasn’t really helping with how slowly he was lifting his shirt, keeping up the soft, shivery kisses, chuckling a bit breathlessly over Niall’s quiet complaints. “You’re mean… “_ _

__“Hmm, I don’t think I am, babe.” He really wasn’t, but Niall felt like he was dying underneath the older man and his stroking hands and soft lips, not even being able to move his hips too much because Liam was lying on top of him and holding him down, distracting him quite a lot with these kisses, the way his beard was scratching the sensitive skin on Niall’s neck, almost causing the blonde to gasp as he gently bit his earlobe. One day, Liam was going to kill him. “You alright?”_ _

__“No… “ The blonde was still trying to pretend to pout, but he was a bit too worked up and breathless for that, feeling Liam’s breath hitting his ear as the older man laughed before kissing it, all of a sudden leaning back and sitting up, causing Niall’s arms to slip from around his and still straddling the younger’s hips, keeping him down. “What… what’re you doin’?”_ _

__“Just helping you to take this off.” Oh… yeah, that sounded like a really good idea, Niall almost felt over eager as Liam helped him sitting up just a little bit to get rid of the shirt before he fell back against the mattress, chest heaving a big as he stared up at the older man with an expectant look on his face, waiting for him to get the hell undressed as well. “What?”_ _

__“Are you gonna take it off or what?” He was definitely wearing way, way too much, and Niall knew that he sounded impatient, but holy shit, he hadn’t seen Liam naked in almost 24 hours! “It’s my birthday, Li… I think I deserve to see you shirtless right now.”_ _

__“Well… if you say it like that then… “ Liam was smirking, but he did reach back to pull his shirt off under the younger’s eager eyes, who almost immediately had his hands all over Liam’s stomach and chest, just touching him, running his fingers through the hair there, and over the muscles, barely being able to believe that someone could be this absolutely stunning._ _

__“You… you’re so fucking attractive, Liam.” Niall said it like that because well… that was his way of telling Liam that he was gorgeous, still feeling his cheeks heating up a bit underneath the older’s smile, almost wanting to protest when Liam grabbed a hold of both his wrists, instead holding them pinned over the younger’s head as he leaned down to kiss him once more._ _

__“And you’re absolutely beautiful.” Oh… of course he would word it like that, but Niall barely had any time to be embarrassed about the comment because Liam’s tongue was already back in his mouth, hands still gripping tightly onto Niall’s wrist and the blonde loved the pressure, knowing that he couldn’t have escaped from Liam’s grip, even if he would have tried his hardest. The older man was way stronger than him and to be honest, that turned Niall on even more._ _

__When Liam’s lips moved down Niall’s neck again, the younger boy could already feel his heart speeding up from what he knew was about to come, wrists hurting just slightly as Liam let him go so he had his hands free, letting them rub up and down Niall’s sides as he kept up kissing lower, all the way down to Niall’s collar bones, occasionally marking him up, just gently using his teeth once a while, almost causing the blonde to pass out from pleasure._ _

__“You’re so stunning, Nialler… look at you… most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” The thing was, Liam probably really meant it, kept on kissing Niall’s body while whispering compliments against his skin, and Niall let his eyes drop closed, fingers curled into Liam’s hair as he tried to control his breathing, tried not to get too blushed over this. But just the fact that Liam seemed to really mean these things, that he sounded so honest about it all, caused even more butterflies to go crazy in Niall’s stomach, like… how could somebody be so sweet all the freaking time?!_ _

__“Liam… “ Niall didn’t know anymore what he had been about to say when Liam’s lips closed around his nipple, letting his hot tongue swipe over it while he worked the other with his fingers, causing the blonde to feel blood rushing to his groin, not being able to hold back that sigh anymore. Shit, this felt so good, just having Liam taking care of him like this, being all soft and gentle and doing it slowly because he wanted to, because he wanted to treasure the moment and make sure Niall enjoyed himself to the fullest. “Fuck… “_ _

__The older man didn’t answer, just continued sucking on Niall’s nipple before leaving a wet trail of kisses over to the other one, giving it the same treatment before continuing down Niall’s pale, and now flushed, chest, making a humming sound in the back of his throat whenever Niall couldn’t hold back his sighs and quiet moans anymore, very obviously enjoying the fact that he could make the blonde feel like this._ _

__Not daring to open his eyes in fear it might be too overwhelming, Niall kept them closed as Liam kissed his belly button, briefly making him chuckle because it tickled, before moving down, just lightly pulling down Niall’s pants, not enough to reveal a lot at all, just kissing both his hipbones before continuing down the blonde’s happy trail, making Niall’s breath hitch as he stopped all of a sudden._ _

__“Babe… can you lift your hips for a second?” Now that Liam had moved down so much, there was no weight anymore to hold Niall down, so he just immediately did what he had been told, trying his best to help and quicken up the process as Liam undid his belt and zipper, not wasting any time here as he pulled down Niall’s boxer shorts as well, letting both just drop on the floor while the blonde hissed a bit, his half hard erection slapping against his thigh. “You okay, Ni?”_ _

__“No… but I will be once… once you get naked as well.” Niall was trying his hardest here not to whine and beg, only blinking his eyes open for a moment to see Liam smirking at him, one hand soothingly rubbing the younger’s stomach and thigh, a little bit too high up to Niall’s liking._ _

__“Patience, baby… “ Of course, Niall should have no known, if Liam said he was gonna take his time, then he was going to take his damn time._ _

__Throwing an arm over his eyes in distress, Niall heard Liam chuckle for a second as he let out a bit of a whine, not complaining anymore though because Liam’s fingers were definitely inching closer to where Niall wanted to have them so desperately, heart speeding up once more as he just lied there, waiting while he felt as if he was about to die from being so turned on._ _

__“We’ll get there, Nialler, just let me take care of you, yeah? I’ll make you feel so good… promise.” Well, Niall hadn’t doubted that just once single second._ _

__Liam kept up the stroking and kissing for a while, purposely avoiding Niall’s cock of course, because teasing was his thing, and the blonde just tried to keep his breathing steady, tried not to beg Liam because it only would have caused the older man to laugh and probably drag it out even more. God, he was so good at this, at all the build up and obviously at the thing itself as well, and Niall had always been thinking that, that he had never had sex with anyone like Liam, but ever since they were dating it was like… it seemed to have gotten even better for some reason, more loving and more passionate and just… so absolutely mind blowing each time, it shouldn’t even be legal._ _

__When Liam’s lips _finally_ placed a kiss on the tip of Niall’s erection, the younger boy felt himself jerking a bit, his eyes still covered so he felt everything even more intensely, all of it coming out of nowhere, but he absolutely loved it, loved letting Liam do to him whatever it was that he felt like doing._ _

__He started off slowly, just jerking the younger boy off a few times, kitten licking at the tip and just this would have been enough to make Niall go crazy to be honest, but when Liam let go of him for few minutes to get some lube, Niall felt like he would die in the meantime, briefly moving his arm so he could watch the older man coming back, very pleased at least to see that he had gotten rid of his pants and boxers as well, exposing his length and the rest of his body and Niall yet again had to cover his eyes or he would have come just at the sight of it._ _

__“Alright?” Liam checked once he had spread the lube over his fingers, one of them having snubbed up against Niall’s hole while Liam’s other hand was still wrapped around his dick, steadily but slowly getting him off, getting nothing more but a moan out of Niall. There was a faint taste of blood in Niall’s mouth and he was aware that he had possibly already bitten his lip bleeding, but he didn’t care, Liam’s big hand around him and his finger just slipping inside of him was way too overwhelming as to not be terribly affected by it._ _

__They had had so much exercise by now that Niall barely even felt a pinch of pain as Liam had one finger inside of him, but maybe it was the hand jerking him off like this, always making sure to do a full stroke, thumb rubbing over the head because Liam knew that the blond went crazy for it, precum making the slide more than just easy, creating a somewhat wet sound that gave the blonde goosebumps. Shit, he could have come like this, right now if he hadn’t held back because he wanted Liam inside of him first, but it definitely wasn’t easy._ _

__“Li… “ Niall almost felt like he had to cry or something, not knowing whether he wanted to fuck up into Liam’s fist or down on his finger that the older man was only moving tentatively before adding a second one so he could spread the younger boy a bit more, occasionally hitting his prostate on full purpose while suckling on the head of Niall’s painfully hard erection, each time getting a rather load moan out of the younger boy. _Shit_. “Liam… Liam, aaah… please… ‘m gonna… ‘m gonna cum, please… _please_ …”_ _

__“That good, huh?” Liam was only teasing, but as soon as Niall had started begging, he let go of the blonde’s dick, much to Niall’s frustration, only moving his fingers inside of him now, getting in a third one as well, scissoring them apart while his free arm wrapped around the blonde’s waist, keeping him down, maybe so he could stop rutting against Liam’s fingers and push himself even closer to release. Okay, he just needed to keep on breathing normally, he could do this, he could hold back._ _

__“Y-Yes… Liam… I’m ready, please… please get inside of me… please fuck me, please… “ See, this was how it always ended, with the begs just falling out of Niall’s mouth, his lip bleeding from all the biting and sweat dripping down the side of his face and chest, feeling himself almost being pushed over the edge before Liam stopped moving his fingers once more, as if he knew. That tosser._ _

__“Okay, shhh, Nialler, it’s okay, I got you… “ The older man promised, once more kissing the top of Niall’s dick before slowly pulling his fingers out of him and Niall let his arm fall behind his head so he could watch the older man, spreading his legs even more as Liam was settled between them, getting the lube once more in order to slick himself up, breathing harder as he did so, as if he was about to bust as well. “Okay… how’d you want it?”_ _

__“Like this… I wanna look at you… and kiss you… “ They hadn’t kissed in what felt like ages right now, but Niall was so desperate to get Liam inside of him, he could barely grasp a clear thought anymore as he watched the older man nodding before grabbing a hold of himself as he lined himself up, using only one arm as support, hand buried deep in the mattress next to Niall’s shoulder, both of them looking down to watch._ _

__Just the head slipping in through the loosened muscle was enough to punch another moan out of Niall, his eyes falling closed automatically as he told Liam to just keep going, hearing the older man grunt above him as he pushed further into Niall’s heat, his hot and pulsing erection stretching Niall’s walls, putting pressure on in all the right ways even before he was buried completely and Liam let out a quiet moan himself once his hips were flush against the younger boy’s. “Fuck, Niall… you feel so good… “_ _

__“M-Move… “ Was all Niall brought out, wrapping his arms back around the older’s shoulder, the feeling of their bare skin being pressed together like this, sweaty and hot, was the best feeling in the world._ _

__Liam started out slow, keeping a lot of his weight on his elbows though as he tilted his head to kiss Niall while the younger boy almost ripped out some of his hair because of how tightly he was holding on, forcing his legs to wrap around the back of Liam’s thighs in order to get him even closer, even though he already felt pretty damn exhausted._ _

__“Harder… “ Niall whispered against the older man’s lips, trying to let him know that he wasn’t gonna break, that he _needed_ Liam to be rougher with him right now. “Li, please… ‘m f-fine… aaah… “_ _

__Still, the brunette man kept his pace at first, going rather slowly, continuing to kiss Niall through his thrusts, hitting his prostate almost dead on at every third thrust, each time almost causing Niall’s mouth to slip off of his, but Niall just kept on holding tighter, his head spinning from the way Liam almost fucked his tongue into his mouth and the way he was buried so deep inside the younger boy, with time speeding up his thrusts, hitting him deeper and harder._ _

__“Nialler… “ Liam suddenly mumbled after a few minutes, the bed feeling quite shaky underneath them and Niall was _so_ close, but he kept on holding back, forcing himself to open his eyes and look at the older man’s gorgeous face right about his, a hand stroking some of the sweaty hair out of his forehead, Liam’s eyes looking kinda watery as he continued. “I love you…so m-much….”_ _

__“I… shit… I l-love you too, Li… more than…aah… than anything e-else… “ There were tears building up in Niall’s eyes as well, not only because he felt so good but because Liam’s smile above him was so gorgeous, eyes crinkling up for a second before he leaned back down to kiss Niall’s lips once more, more gentle this time and less desperate, even though his hips were still snapping against Niall’s, the younger’s legs almost slipping off because he could barely hold them up anymore._ _

__Pulling away because they were both panting, Liam suddenly kept his weight on only one arm, slowing down for a second just so he could reach around and grab a hold of Niall’s hand, the younger boy’s eyes growing wider for a moment as he watched Liam kissing his fingers, and then in the end, he kissed the ring on there as well before intertwining their fingers next to Niall’s head. Oh god he was so sweet and cute and Niall was so fucking in love right now, it actually caused a tear to spill over._ _

__“Shh… it’s okay, I know… “ Liam whispered as he leaned down to kiss the tear away, then suddenly caught Niall’s lips in another very sweet and gentle kiss, squeezing the younger’s hand while speeding up a little more again, with more purpose now, as if he was trying to finally push Niall over the edge. “C’mon… ‘s okay, babe… let go… “_ _

__“Liam… “ They were more breathing harshly against each other’s open mouths by now than really kissing, one of Niall’s arms still wrapped around the older man, hearing him grunt as he squeezed tightly around him without even noticing, heat coiling in his belly after a hard thrust against his prostate, feeling like his inside were on fire._ _

__“Ni… I l-love you… so much… I can’t e-even… can’t even tell you… you’re so… f-fucking gorgeous r-right now a-and… shit… c’mon, babe… I know y-you’re close… “ And that was what did it._ _

__Niall’s orgasm kinda washed over him out of nowhere, creating a mess between both their bellies as he came, still with a moan consisting of only Liam’s name on his lips, clenching even harder around the older man as he fucked him through it, dragging it out even longer than normally, the whole build up and the situation making it feel even more intense than usually and Niall felt his back arching as far as that was possible as he was riding out his high, feeling Liam hotly coming inside of him just a moment later._ _

__It wasn’t unusual for them to come at the same time, but this time felt more special somehow, and Niall felt himself crying all the way through up until Liam was just lying on top of him, chest moving heavily against one another, both of them breathing hard, their fingers still intertwined and Liam still inside of the younger boy, being as close as somehow humanly possible._ _

__“Liam… “ Niall heard himself say, somewhere between trying to catch his breath and carding his fingers through Liam’s sweaty hair, the older man’s whole weight on top of him, Liam’s face buried right between Niall’s neck and shoulder, breathing unevenly against his skin._ _

__“Hm?” He sounded tired, and so was the blonde, but he was too overwhelmed, could barely grasp one clear thought as he answered, still with the feeling of Liam’s finger brushing over the ring on his hand._ _

__“I… I wanna be with you forever.” Maybe it sounded cheesy, maybe this was not what Niall should have said, but right in that moment, it was the only thing he could think of, the only thing to let Liam know just how much he loved and admired him, how thankful he was that he had him right by his side, someone who seemed to be his other half._ _

__“As long as you want me… I’m gonna be there.” Was all Liam answered, quietly, but it sounded like a promise and though Niall knew that they would have their ups and downs, just like everybody else, he felt a smile forming on his lips at the way this had sounded, never in a million years would he have thought he could love somebody so purely and deeply, trust them so unconditionally and yet here he was, having ended up feeling like the luckiest person alive._ _

__Could Niall have gone back a year to talk to his own younger self asking what true love felt like, he would have described it exactly like this moment._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS
> 
> alright, this is it, the end of this long ass fic that i cant believe i really finished but i did and holy shit...thank you all SO MUCH for sticking around and always commenting and leaving me such nice feedback, i promise ill be back soon with another fic and i do hope you guys will enjoy everything i write in the future! so thank you all so sooo much and i hope you all liked the ending and the epilogue please please let me know what your thoughts are i love reading all you guys comments!
> 
> see you guys soon <33


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